I used to buy bags of these little bath beads from Pier 1 Imports as a child.
I still recall their distinct smell in the rolling light wood bins of the early 1990’s store. Pier 1 Imports at its peak.
They were greasy. They took forever to melt. Eventually I’d always lose patience and break them open before my bath grew too cold to handle. They were more fun to smell and buy than to use at that age.
Sarah Michaels made some too. I loved those as well. But not as much.
And this is 1992 or 1990 we’re talking about. This was a while ago now.
…I’ve tried talking with Lem about the smell of the store…but it’s been difficult. He seems…disturbed by my desire to share the memory with him.
“It’s so…cold.” says Lem. “The way you share it is so reserved. So cold.”
“I thought she was being very personal.” says Queen Elizabeth II.
“I was. I was trying to be very personal.” says Lacey.
“Well…I caught it.” says Elizabeth.
“Yes. So did I.” says Prince Philip.
“I did too.” confesses Michael.
“Why is that personal!?” asks Lem.
“Because it’s a childhood memory that’s dear to me.” says Lacey.
He suddenly feels like cutting off his own head. He covers his mouth with both of his hands. “Right! But…you’re taking so much distance.”
“I slept with other people.” says Lacey. “If you were that close to me…I’d not be…writing about almost anything anymore. I wouldn’t see the point.”
He closes his eyes hard. “Yeah!”
She goes back to smelling the beads in her mind.
She touches them.
“It’s…a combination of smells you’re smelling.” he says.
“Yes!” says Lacey, annoyed.
“I could tell you. It’s just simple chemistry. But it’s hard to tell you as a ghost easily.” says Lem. “You really care about this?”
“Yes?” says Lacey, hurt.
“They do melt too slowly.” he says.
“Why!?” asks Lacey.
“Oh…it’s a design error.” he says. “It’s…also not. They weren’t made for use. In the same way as a bath bomb.”
“That’s…sad.” says Lacey.
“Yeah.” says Lem. “Actually…it’s…disturbing. When did you first notice?”
“Right away. But I only put it all together…in 1992.” says Lacey.
Lem smiles. Laughs. “When did you decide to run away to England?”
“1997?” says Lacey.
“Didn’t work.” says Lem.
“What’s your problem!?” says Lacey.
Lem cries. “I’m an ass!” he says. “I’m an ass!!”
“Yes. But why?” asks Lacey.
“Because I can’t stand it! Why are you being so cold!?” he says.
“I’m not.” says Lacey.
He looks into her eyes but then she looks away in pain.
“Right! You know…let me watch Michael conduct this conversation.” says Lem.
Lacey tells Micheal the same thing she told Lem. But colder and more reserved.
“Why the fuck are we talking about this?” asks Michael smiling.
“Because it’s my life.” says Lacey.
Michael thinks. He laughs. “You must have better memories than just this!”
Lacey slaps him.
“Oh! You don’t.” says Michael smiling.
Lacey throws the beads in his face.
Alejandro by Lady Gaga plays as Bobby dances to seduce Lem. He’s vain enough to believe Lem wants him and he’s open to having sex with ghosts.
“They do smell good.” says Michael.
“They do!” says Lacey.
“I can’t stand Lem. That’s not how this would have gone.” says Micheal. “I did that to embarrass his sin.” He grabs her arm.
“So what? I was hurt anyway.” says Lacey. “And it’s my dignity. And my pain.”
“She’s right. That was all very dumb.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “It’s obvious those were her best memories.”
Lem feels almost like ceasing to exist.
“You’re just so cold.” says Lem, as an apology.
“Yes. And if you love me…this is why spending so much time with Jack…was so…caustic.” says Lacey. “It’s made you…dull, pathetic, and obtuse.”
“She’s right. But I don’t care. She’s just devastated. Big bloody deal!” says Michael. “I’ll make her get over it.”
“How?” asks Lem.
Micheal laughs. “It’s easy. I love her.”
“How?” asks Lacey returning to a rage.
“I’ll make a perfume out the smell.” says Michael. “And you can wear it when you’re sad. And feel more sad.”
Lacey walks off slowly, speechless.
He follows her almost out of the store. But stops her before she can leave.
“No. We’re not leaving.” he says.
“You’re not being very…aware.” says Lacey.
“You’re right.” he says. “Shit. …You don’t have any better memories?”
“No.” says Lacey.
“Any similar memories?” he asks.
“CRAP!!” yells Lem. He darts over and grabs Lacey.
“No. You asked to see. Let’s see, you ass!” says Michael.
“No. That’s my best memory.” says Lacey.
“When did you first consider suicide as a child?” asks Michael.
“Age 9.” says Lacey.
“And you reasoned against it?” asks Michael.
“Yes!” says Lacey.
“I’m an ass. But we’re leaving.” says Lem. “I’m not sure why I thought she shouldn’t be cold. It’s not cold. It’s appropriate. And she’s a genius.”
“Yes! But you’re in love with JFK! And he was a cerebral mastermind! And a GOD!” says Michael. “Look at you! Hot stuff!! WOW! A KENNEDY! Wow!! You made it big!!!”
“Yeah. Well…not quite.” says Lem. “But that was the idea I gave.”
“Yeah. So…let’s just rip her apart more. Why not?” asks Michael. “What harm could come from being more dense?”
“I had no idea how little I managed to make her feel loved.” says Lem.
“I did. I was bisexual. …And I’m not Jack Kennedy with The Jack Kennedy’s Administration.” says Micheal. “Have you no idea what she’s going through? She’s dependent on you.
So let’s keep being worthless. You’re off to a grand start!
Lacey…should you have died of your tonsillectomy?” says Michael.
“Could I have had my kids in Heaven?” asks Lacey.
“Yes!” says Michael.
“I’d that’s true then I’d say yes. If God agreed to it.” says Lacey. “What was the damned point of my life anyway?”
“Oh! So…Lem didn’t understand anymore how women felt?” asks JFK. “I made him dumb.”
“Yes. Apparently.” says Bobby. “Because he was straight.”
“I get it. Huh. That’s funny!” says JFK laughing at it all. “Yeah. He’s a loser now. Stupid! Stupid asshole! I fuck him in the ass. Stupid! What a loser!”
“Yeah! And you made him suck your cock!” says Bobby laughing.
“We have a record! And a reputation!” says JFK.
Bobby and Jack laugh.
“Do you ever get sad?” asks Diego.
“Yes! But then I fix it!” says JFK.
“How?” asks Diego.
“There’s ways.” says JFK.
“You find a victim?” says Diego.
“Huh?” says Jack.
“You are a DSM. You are in my book!” says Diego. “I have traits of Narcissism. You have the disorder.”
“So?” says Jack.
“You aren’t lighthearted. You’re a nut.” says Diego. “You are insane!”
Jack shifts.
“Why you always laughing? What’s so funny? Your next victim?” says Diego.
“What if that’s true?” says JFK.
“Then you are charming…as a way to gain trust.” says Diego.
“Yeah. But I do care. At times.” says JFK.
“Yes! You are right.” says Diego.
“Anyway…there is a point to your life. But…it’s possible it got too far into Hell.” says Michael to Lacey.
“Please don’t shutdown.” says Lem to Lacey. “Please!!”
“Alright. I think with that…I can control myself not to.” says Lacey.
Michael smiles.
“We don’t seem intimate.” says Lem, in a panic.
“What the hell are you going on about?” asks Michael.
“You grabbed her!” says Lem.
“Yes. …It’s so damn tempting. Do you have any idea what I missed out on?” asks Michael.
“Your life.” says Lem, sadly.
“Yeah. Thanks!” says Michael.
“It’s umm…a lovely memory, Lacey, actually. It’s sad that it’s so significant. But it’s lovely.” says Lem.
“Better.” says Michael. “I’d have seduced Lacey. At 23. She was…waiting for me. And I’d have done it.
We’d still be married.
…Chris…I’m just baffled. Do you understand what a soulmate is?”
“Yes! But…why would she be your soulmate?” asks Chris.
“Because that’s what you thought she was…and that’s what she is. So…how can you and Diego destroy that? Did Jack give you that impression?” asks Michael.
“Yes!” says Diego. “So did a lot of people.”
“What really is a soulmate?” asks Chris.
“Like scientifically?” asks Bill Gates.
“Yeah! Scientifically!” says Chris.
“It’s my soul.” says Michael. “She’s made from my soul. In a way. But…as it stands…she’s actually Lem. They’re one. So she is him.”
“But that’s not permanent!” says JFK, smiling.
“Why?” asks Michael.
“Because! Nothing lasts forever?” says JFK.
“Some things do.” says Michael.
“Then why do they say that?” asks JFK.
“Because it’s often true. Not always.” says Michael.
“So Marilyn is Arthur Miller?” says JFK.
“If that’s her twin flame. Yes.” says Michael.
“But he’s a brilliant, manly Jew!” says JFK.
“She’s the woman.” says Michael.
“So I killed Arthur Miller?” says Bobby. “If I had anything to do with it. …Dammit. I killed Arthur Miller.”
“He’s Jewish.” says JFK.
“Oh. Yeah. Dad and Germany and stuff.” says Bobby.
“Well! Isn’t that weird?!?” says JFK.
“What are you suggesting?” asks Bobby.
“Gee…just that it kinda makes you think. Did we just aim to kill a Jew?” asks JFK.
“Huh. Did he kill me?” asks JFK.
“Who?” asks Bobby.
“Arthur Miller.” says JFK.
“Oh! Because of Marilyn?!?” says Bobby.
“Yeah.” says JFK.
They think.
“Was he mad?” asks Bobby.
“Maybe?” says JFK. “If he blamed me for it.”
“Then why was I shot by a Palestinian?” asks Bobby.
“They slept with her too?” says JFK, sincerely.
“Funny! No…you’d think they’d like that I killed a Jew.” says Bobby. “But people don’t think that deeply.”
“Why didn’t Lem kill us?” asks JFK.
“There’s talk that he did.” says Bobby.
“Well…I guess that’s the way it goes.” says JFK.
“Yeah. Huh.” says Bobby, thoughtfully.
“Do you spose Arthur Miller is still angry?” asks JFK.
Bobby shrugs.
“He was mean to her!” says JFK.
“I guess…he loves her. Go figure.” says Bobby.
“Men! They’re mean and they loved you. …But not really. …You know…I was mean a lot. But I wasn’t in love.” says JFK.
“Yeah. Me too.” says Bobby.
“That’s normal! It’s weird to be mean when you’re in love. …Right?” says Jack.
“They’re sexual. It’s caused at times by their desires. Arthur was mad at Marilyn. And she never fully understood that.” says Bobby.
“Oh. I never got that way.” says JFK. “I beat up Lem. But that’s…my only reference.”
“Yeah. Gee. …I got mad at Ethel.” says Bobby.
“What’s that like? Getting mad in that way at a girl??” says JFK.
“They’re…well…” says Bobby, blushing. “Say! Maybe you can experience it someday.”
“Yeah. How weird!” says JFK.
“Well…I guess it’s not about being cool. Like when you were mean to Marilyn.” says Bobby.
“You just wanna…make ‘em…do stuff.” says JFK. “But like…over and over. With the same woman. And you don’t get sad. …Wow. Cool. I never much experienced that.”
“It’s what people call heterosexuality.” says Bobby.
“Dad…said we were all that.” says JFK.
“Well…that’s what it is.” says Bobby.
“I’m scared of Arthur Miller.” says JFK.
“Why not Lem?” asks Bobby.
“How many men did I pick a fight with?” asks Jack.
“Dozens.” says Bobby.
“Is that why Lem keeps being able to rip off my head?” asks JFK.
“Yeah! Probs!” says Bobby.
“That’s rational.” says JFK.
“Lacey…I’m sorry.” says Lem. “Please don’t close off. Please.“
“I’m fine.” says Lacey.
“It is glycerin.” says Lem.
“What oil was inside?” asks Lacey.
More tomorrow.
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