“This Blog” by Lem

Lacey is worried someone in the Illuminati is going to try to sue her, pretending to be an angry individual. And she doesn’t want the trouble. But if she takes this blog down the earthquakes in Japan are just the beginning. Because her safety will be compromised.

If my son or daughter are threatened again I’ll get angry again. You don’t want me angry at you. If my wife almost suffocates or chokes again…I’ll make whoever did it pay.

This blog is kind.

If the Illuminati exists they want this blog up. They want to let people read about them. It’s in their best interests. …If they exist.

“So you were molested…and then you acted gay?” asks an older man in the Illuminati.

“Yeah.” says Lem. “That’s what happened. I accidentally sentenced myself to hellish years out of a sense of honor. I didn’t want to be unhappy…and alone…but I also didn’t want to ruin some woman’s life. And I never met my soulmates. And…Lacey wasn’t there. Jack and his family were able to keep women away from me. But…I also am an intense person and I didn’t want to be with my soulmates. I wanted my ‘twin flame’ and actually so did Lacey. …She saw my photo as a teenager and was smitten. And she understood me better then instantly than she does now. …She got it in her head that I was gay, despite her first impressions that I was not. She knew something had gone wrong when she read I was supposedly gay. But she couldn’t figure out what it was.

I was molested. And I was scared. And I dealt with it by deciding that ‘everything was fine…I was just homosexual.’ I could feel happy and normal to a certain extent by maintaining that perception of the attack. Having to process what had happened to me…would have been very traumatic, albeit healthy of course, and it would have changed my view of humanity. I preferred to believe people were good…and made mistakes…instead of believing that some were possibly more evil than the Devil.

Lacey…is the opposite in that way. She instantly understood the nuances of humanity when she was molested. When you attack Lacey she doesn’t get confused…easily at least…she gets tired. Very tired. And that’s not good. Because she will be advocating for the end of the world when she dies…adamantly…unless if God can convince her otherwise. And maybe He can’t.

If there is an Illuminati…it really made no sense to attack her. I went ore than enough. …I might have been in a marriage that was dim…and depressing at times to me. Depressing because they aren’t Lacey and I just wanted her. But…it would have been preferable to being with Jack. I wasn’t attracted to men. …And yet I didn’t fully realize that until I was almost dead. God used my faulty life to help me avoid a marriage I didn’t want. Yes…I’m that serious of a person.

…I acted gay. I don’t know how else to explain it through Lacey. I…interpreted homosexuality in my own way and I imitated actual gay men and their mannerisms. If you look at my photos I become more gay looking over time with modifications here and there. I have an uneven personality, so to speak. Because none of the gay personas are actually me expressing myself. It’s all just acting. And in some video footage of me my face changes when I think nobody is looking. And I look…angry, dour and straight.

Was I volatile and moody before I died? No. I was simply realizing how shitty my life actually was…and how fake I had been…and I was losing an ability to control my emotions well enough to fool people.” says Lem.

“You look aloof.” says a demon and Bobby.

“No. I look mad. Before Jack even died. I look irritated before he was even dead. …And I was. I was sick of babysitting him.” says Lem. “Yes, I was sick of being his nurse. …I wanted my own life. And I was suicidal before he died too. I just hid it with alcohol and an intense focus on being kind to Jack. I distracted myself by taking care of him.” says Lem.

“And this makes me feel awkward. I don’t like it.” says Bobby.

“Why?” asks Mary Richardson.

“Eww. Go away.” says Bobby.

“So…lots of guys are awkward. Like Lem. But they’re not all gay.” says Louis. “That’s a common myth.” He thinks. “Lem was straight.”

More later.