“Heaven Is A Place On Earth” by Lord Snotgrass & Bec

We’re In This Together by Nine Inch Nails plays.

Yes. You heard that right. Heaven is a place on Earth.

*Lord Snotgrass laughs*

“It is. It’s also a place. But…” says Becca.

Yes. It is. But it’s here on Earth. That’s what the Bible says. There is no physical place called Heaven or Hell.

“Mmm. I don’t know about that.” says Becca.

Well I do.

“Well…I guess I don’t. Sorry.” says Becca.

Well you’re wrong.

“No. I’m not.” says Becca.

No. You are. You’re wrong.

“Well I think you’re wrong.” says Becca.

I doubt it.

“Okay. Well this isn’t going anywhere.” says Becca.

No. It sure as Hell isn’t.

“Okay. Now you’re going to start swearing.” says Becca.

No. Becca…that was a joke.

“No it wasn’t.” says Becca.

Yes, Becca it was.

“Okay. Why don’t we start over?” says Becca.

Midnight City by M83 plays.

Heaven is a place on Earth.

“No. It’s not.” says Becca.

Okay. Are you the professor or am I?

“That’s not the point.” says Becca.

Yes. It is the point. It’s very much the point.

“Not for me, I guess. I’m sorry. Why don’t we try one more time?” says Becca.

Okay. One more time.

Hypnotize by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

The song plays.

Heaven. Is it…here? Where is Heaven?

“Heaven is with Christ.” says Becca.

Yes! That’s right. Heaven is with Christ. Right.

But…oftentimes Christians try to put off God’s glory until Heaven. And see…we’re called to be in God’s glory here on Earth. We’re called to be in God’s glory in this world with Him. Not wait until Heaven.

“Yeah. And see…that’s why we should take claim of the word…and fight.” says Becca.

Fight evil. Yes. Very good. Very true, Becca.

“Yes! We are called to be victorious. Not victims.” says Becca.

Yes. You’re…delving into…a part of Christianity I don’t think…I tend to believe in…as much. But…I respect your effort to make the Kingdom of Heaven a reality here on Earth.

“Huh.” says Becca.

Huh is right!

So…what I want to talk about today…is how we have a calling to bring Heaven to Earth. As Christians. We need to bring forth the great commission. For the sake of the Kingdom.

“Yes! And that’s with Christ in Heaven.” says Becca.

Sure.

“So…what happens when you all die?” asks John Seay.

“What happened to you, dad?” asks Maria.

“I get tortured. Accordingly. Unless I can repent. You have to be yourself in Heaven. Right? So I repent to the point of lobotomy if necessary. And do my best.” says John Seay.

“Okay. That’s Purgatory.” says Maria.

“Yup. Sort of.” says John Seay.

“Shoot.” says Maria.

Okay! So…Maria this is an Illuminati illusion. A lot of them believe in Purgatory. Because they part of the organization.

U Not Like Me by 50 Cent plays.

The song plays.

But I’m not. I’m…a bit of a renegade.

“So was Martin Luther.” says Maria.

Fine. That’s fine. Sure.

So…the issue here is…where is Heaven?

“No. The issue is…what happens after you die?” says John Seay.

Dr. Evil wears baggy jeans. And a huge gold chain. He raps. Around Messiah College. His first cover is Ms. Jackson by OutKast. His fake gang signs are very heartfelt and passionately expressed. Very hawt. He’s rocking it. Always On Time by Ja Rule plays next as his cover.

“That’s blasphemous!” says his wife, in horror.

No. It’s not real.

It’s not.

We can’t find an explanation for this in the text. And you have to stay in the pipeline. I think you’re just hallucinating.

Let’s get back to the topic at hand.

“Yeah. They like to do that. Demonic! It’s demonic.” says Becca.

Sure.

Okay. Let’s get back to the topic at hand.

“Torsten you might be dead when you’re contributing to this at some point. Where do you think you are?” asks John Seay.

I don’t care! I’m not dead right now.

“Yeah. Neither am I.” says Becca.

“But you’ll both die someday.” says John Seay

“Yeah. Someday. But that’s not right now.” says Lord Snotgrass.

“No. It’s not! You can’t put me in the grave yet!” yells Becca.

“You tell ‘em Becca!” says Lord Snotgrass.