My Maid

Lacey’s father had a maid. She’d come two or three times a week. And so for the first three months of Lacey’s life she had a maid.

Later in her life she had another two. The second one was possibly a sort of friend. Maybe not forever…but…they might have almost been real friends. Real friends. Not fake friends.

Did Thelma talk to the maid? Like an equal. Is that where Lacey got so confused? Because while Lacey and the second maid managed to possibly be real friends…it seems the first maid…HATED Lacey for trying to talk to her. It’s an unwritten social contract it seems. You hire maids, let them live in shit, let them admire your life…and then banish them off? That’s how they do it in America?

Get In My Car by 50 Cent plays as rappers examine Tom. “WHY!?” they ask him, in rage.

But he respects it. Because it’s a fair question.

“He just wanted a family. But he was too stupid to see it.” says 50 Cent.

“True.” says Tom Banks.

“Tom…we empathize. But you make us mad.” says a group of black men.

They’ll have to have a real conversation later. Because it’s not fair to anyone to try to have one on here. The conversation is too fraught.

“Dammit. Tom we need to figure you out to figure out ourselves.” says a living man.

Tom cries. “It’s unfair. Truly. I told her to say that. That’s my opinion. I don’t think you can hear me well enough, and it’s that important.”

“Are you trying to tell us…you got scared?” asks a black man.

“Yes!” says Tom. “But I don’t know if that’s a good thing to say. You might get confused.”

“Was it your career of choice?” asks a Hispanic man of Tom.

“To some degree.” says Tom. “But it’s very difficult to be truly helpful. It’s complicated. And Lacey shouldn’t really be talking to us anyway.”

“Yeah. He’s an overlord. Who cares.” says the Hispanic man. “I truly think he doesn’t want to ruin our eternity by telling us the wrong things. It’s a Purgatory thing. Grow-up!”

“Hold on are you guys making her a peasant because she’s like a Hispanic person?” asks Joni of the Nesheims.

“They might be. Where are you going with that Joni?” asks the Hispanic man.

“Well the black men seem to understand because of their culture that you might get angry at an ancestral ghost, and yell at them but then, if they say, ‘Don’t go there!’ you let it go, and the Hispanic man understands from a Christian perspective that the ghost could be real and could be something that Lacey has used for her survival. So it’s not sexual with her father. And you gather that. No, it’s like survival. And it never should be sexual to father that’s not possible from a child’s perspective unless if they’re a sociopath, but I would say that that’s still not real the child’s just crazy. But I think you’re gathering Lacey’s not crazy and she’s not after something sexual with every ghost because you want to make what happened with Lem her orientation…to avoid his heterosexuality…and that’s really irritating and then you think, ‘Well, it’s just sexual with her and ghosts.’ No! No, they’re dead people. They’re dead…people.

So…so she’s in a relationship with Lem…and that relationship is sexual, but the relationship she has with her father Tom is not sexual. That’s her father. Tom is her father. So..it’s like bread and butter and food and water when she talks to Tom…which is where are you people start thinking then that she’s a peasant. Right? Because you can’t make her Black or Hispanic but you think it’s really cool in your hatefulness to think that she’s poor enough to need to talk to her dead father to survive.” says Joni of the Nesheims.

Kick in the Door by The Notorious B. I. G. plays. Joni dances. The Nesheims are great dancers. It’s sublime. It’s art.

“Why did you take the money!?” a Hispanic woman asks Joni.

“For the oil?” asks Joni.

“Yeah. You know.” says the Hispanic woman.

“So why?” asks Lacey Banks.

“It was too tempting.” says Joni.

“Because you knew?” asks Great Britain.

“Yes. We’d been talking about it for decades.” says Dr. Nesheim, Ed.

“Are dentists technically doctors?” asks Lacey.

“DAMMIT!” says Biggie. “You all knew…it was bad for the environment.”

Joni smiles. “Yeah. We knew. …But we felt…incapable of resisting the enormous amounts of long-term money that would come our way. We’re old money. We knew.”

The Hispanic woman cries. “But you’re good ones! You knew!!!”

Suspirium Finale by Thom Yorke plays.

Joni cries. “Yeah! But you tell yourself Global Warming isn’t real. Go on! Tell yourself that. …It’s creepy how much you start to believe it.” says Joni.

“But Joni…it was your parent’s generation who made the decision. And maybe they actually believed Global Warming wasn’t real. Or that it didn’t matter, so to speak…for sane, rational reasons.” says George Bush Junior.

“Yeah. But now it’s our mess.” says Joni. “Because we’re old money. We don’t get to play victim because we’re honorable and we really aren’t those kind of victims.”

“Oh my gosh Joni, you’re scaring me and you sound like your old money in a way that I’m not.” says a new money tech guy in the Illuminati. It’s the Illuminati. He can’t help but be honest at times. “You should’ve just killed her or you know kept her hostage in a Different Way, Chris.”

“I think the reason everyone thought that Lacey was stupid, and that they could take advantage of her was because she’s married, but she was still open to having sex with other men not like she’s a man, but like umm…but like sex with men who weren’t her husband.” says Red Fay temporarily joining the Illuminati.

“Except Red, why are you guys talking about sex all of the sudden?” ask the Loebs.

“Because we’re trying to find a way to dominate the Nesheims and it might be kind of enjoyable because Joni and Lacey are both very beautiful and attractive and we could totally sleep with them and get over them really easily right?” says Red. “I mean why was Joni dancing? There’s no reason to dance as a woman unless if it’s sexual, right?”

“Hey no, you can dance without it being sexual in that way. As a any one.” say the Loebs.

“No, see I get why you hesitated to have kids. That wasn’t stupid. What I wonder is why you impregnated Margy in 1982 instead of waiting to have Lacey in Heaven, if you did.” says 50 Cent.

“It was an accident. I’m sorry to be so graphic but that’s apparently what has to be said, and that’s sad.

I was in love with Lacey‘s mom if I impregnated her and I made Lacey. We were in love! You know that. Right?

So…why didn’t I marry her? Well…because I didn’t wanna ruin her life. Remember? No?

Okay…see…she was a lot younger than me…and I wanted her to be happy. Because I was old! I was old and I rationally knew I could die…but then we were both adults and we loved each other as adults.

I fell in love with Margy. And I think she was in love with me for who I am…and umm…well sometimes when you’re in love and you’re in a long-term relationship and you’re tired and you’re just maybe coming away from a fight and you’re not thinking clearly and one person‘s old and tired and the other person’s drunk you made mistakes.

It’s not that Lacey is a mistake. No! …But I accidentally may have brought someone into this world who I didn’t mean to bring into this world. Not because I don’t want her to exist but because I wanted her to not have to suffer. And Lacey doesn’t even know-the problem is Lacey doesn’t even know if she could be conceived in Heaven. You actually don’t either if you’re alive. And that’s not something that someone would know who’s alive. So in that way I don’t like to say that because she’s not a mistake if I made her. I’m glad that I made the mistake…but and it’s like, ‘Wow! What a wonderful mistake to have made!’ It wasn’t a mistake, but the problem is if I could’ve made her as my daughter in Heaven if it was an accident, I made a mistake. I didn’t make many in my life but I was I was old and I was getting tired.“ says Tom.

“So men can get tired?!? Like real men can get tired at times? Shocking!” says Biggie, laughing.

“Yeah and if she’s my biological daughter I literally might’ve been tired and she understands that because she gets tired too at times and so she stupid stuff. She does stupid stuff and she’s not a stupid person. She’s actually very intelligent…and at times as brilliant as I am, I would do dumb things because of how tired I was. And it was rare. It was very rare. I mean I fought in World War I and I didn’t have too many problems but when you’re in your 80s you get tired and as tough of a person as I was, and I was a very tough person, I wasn’t capable of not being tired ever.” says Tom to the haters, hopefully not to Biggie.

“Are you guys upset that he had a regular maid service come every week?” asks a Hispanic woman. “And let’s see. What else? The Nesheims are naturally blonde because they’re all Scandinavian…and yet they’re not stupid and you as ignorant new money Americans are not used to seeing old money people look like that.”

“Yeah, that’s what’s making them angry, for real.” says Lacey’s second maid.

“This second maid business is driving me crazy because I think that woman might have been slightly bisexual and as a lesbian she’s an exotic creature to us and she’s probably a good person. But I am married. Okay. …And I don’t really wanna think about her anymore. OK? Can we talk about the first maid because that’s really more to the point.” says Rachel Maddow.

“And right now we have our own concerns, thank you Rachel. There’s a lot going on in our family and we’re really not in the mood today to be having this discussion…because we’ve tried to explain a lot in recent weeks.” says Lem.

“And she might not have been bisexual, but I can see why you might’ve wondered that.” says the second maid’s dead brother.

“You died in an awful way!” says Rachel to the dead man.

“Yeah, I did. It really was awful!” he says.

“Is it like how the Murdaugh death on the river happened?” asks Rachel.

“Yes it is. It’s very similar.“ he says.

“Shoot! I was hoping you guys didn’t feel that much suffering but apparently you did?” says Rachel.

“ oh, you know let’s look at this look at this look at this way compared to Lacey’s dying. It was a cakewalk her death is long and arduous and miserable, and probably one of the worst ways to die that I’ve ever seen. and she’s almost in like a constant twilight state and has been in One for a lot of her life. At least that’s my exclamation from life right to be stuck in a twilight state and it never really be dying until you’re old potentially and say I don’t think you actually have enough empathy for that which is why I’m irritated by you. I hope that you’re a good person. I know you’re not necessarily that much at all. My sister was an artist and she was a maid. She was able to be friends with Lacey because we’re middle class, but she chose to be wild and be a maid. She was responsible enough to be a maid because she had a kid who she had to provide for it She was a single mother and she wanted to be an artist and so she was a maid and that might’ve not been the dreams that my family had for her coming from middle-class Minnesota women group in a suburb, but that was what she chose to do, and to be honest she was pretty happy doing it Lacey didn’t hurt her in anyway I think some of you would like to think that Lacey did because you’re idiots but that’s not what happened yeah it’s sad how pathetic you people are Lacey and her were actual friends and I respect her loyalty to my sister it wasn’t sexual they were just friends that was her made. Lacey had no idea how to relate to maids and if you wanna talk about that we should talk about it but then let’s stay on topic topic.” says the second maid’s dead brother.

“ so why were you in the boat that day?” asks Alisha Garrity.

“ I was drinking I mean it was like like you know Labor Day Fourth of July type celebration in Minnesota. It was a friends boat we were all drinking and having fun on the boat went too fast and I flew out.” says the second maid’s dead brother.

“ was she a good maid?”asks a man.

“ I thought she was decent enough to be honest the first made even though she was very difficult to deal with might’ve been better at cleaning. She was very robust, and she clean very quickly and very thoroughly but the second made was fine. I mean the house was clean, felt clean him actually, it might’ve reminded me a little bit of how the mother that raised me cleaned, it which was sort of a pleasant memory because our house was always very neat growing up him so when I was growing up, my mother kept our house very clean, which is something that I feel bad about because I’m not as good at cleaning as she has, but she’s excellent at cleaning compared to some people like me but no she she cleaned well enough I mean it wasn’t spotless I’m being honest, but at the same time it was worth the money and it was clean. I mean she really did clean and she was very professional and respectful and I mean I would hire her again, but it would be kind of awkward now, because we moved and she was a friend, so at this point, I couldn’t hire her as my maid because it would be strange but I didn’t think I was gonna be living in Minnesota again anyway and she probably has plenty of work if she even still does that is her career anymore um, but no, I mean she was I would say she was the preferable maid, to be honest, even though it wasn’t absolutely spotless.” says Lacey.

Rachel Maddow laughs. “ you are a jerk!” she says laughing to the dead maid’s brother. “ I mean I know you’re just teasing me but come on mad she might not even be bisexual and no I’m not saying that that way dude no says experiences like this that I have an illuminati room like this is real and I don’t get why some people don’t get that loose is not inventing him, I really highly doubt that her brain is capable of that. I have a feeling he’s really teasing me.”

“ yeah, as brilliant as Lacey is, I don’t think that she could invent an actual human white that perfectly.” says Bill Gates.

“ how did we talk to Joni for five seconds about global warming which is an acute issue and then all the sudden we ended up talking about this which is is fascinating but Lacey and I are actually both very disturbed by that.” says Greta Thurnberg.

“ that’s true she’s right. I am very disturbed by that.” says Lacey.

“ Lacey someone knew if you’re illegitimate that your father conceived you while he was tired and that’s how they threw you down the stairs. If you were tired when you fell down the stairs. You were tired weren’t you? And I bet it was in a very similar way to how he was tired when he conceived you if you’re illegitimate.” says a psychic.

“ yes and I suspect that that was because they use Joe Kennedy Junior to throw me down the stairs.” says Lacey.

“ and lame caught you and kept you from not having more serious brain damage that wouldn’t kill you or something along those lines, and that his father operated on you very quickly right after you fell, and the Kennedys have used that to try to convince us that you’re Jack reincarnated which is disgusting it’s disgusting as a psychic I’m repulsed by people right now reading this blog not not by good people but by people who I thought were good people and it’s just it’s just it’s sad because I don’t like your perspective even though I have a feeling you’re not lying and I have a feeling you’re a good person. I hate your perspective because I’m, I’m not old money this made makes me happy and I might be slightly saying this to tease Rachel but this made makes me happy because she’s middle class but she’s an artist and she’s daring and she’s exciting and she’s super relatable, so Rachel be careful writing off this person who is real by the way I’m positive because she’s super relatable. She’s not wealthy enough to be living like Lacey and she ends up being a maid but she’s tough and she’s cool and she makes it and she’s even kind enough to really be friends with Lacey and smart enough and probably in a way that a lot of other people haven’t been she’s just and she was a maid it’s just, she’s a really chill cool character and I just have to say that.” says the psychic.

“ she’s a real American. She’s with America pretended to be and maybe is but at times it seems like a lot, but she’s with America has always pretended to be.” says Tsar Putin.

Traffic by Thom Yorke plays on behalf of child hostages. Because they’re humans. And Lacey cares.

Heads Will Roll by Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays next for Lacey. She sharpens her knives. Cleans them meticulously. She loads the guns. Polishes the nuclear bombs.

“You know I know a little bit about your background.” says Lacey to all nuclear missiles. “ Brian barge, his grandparents helped make you. They worked with Robert open. Heimer and I almost dated him. I went to a dance with him at Messiah College, and they helped create you. He was a math genius, so him and being an atom bomb I’m sure you understand that you were made by brilliance you know the thing is so I didn’t have a very good time, he was very short and my dress kept falling down. It was really disturbing. It was sort of an Audrey Hepburn number and he made chili and then he talked about Great Britain I mean who does that who makes chili and then tries to have a discussion about Great Britain. What a strange combination.

So anyway, so I just let it go because of me what was I supposed to do you know you understand you’re stuck. You’ve been stuck wherever you are for as long as you were May what are you supposed to hear about him? I was a woman I was on date, so I’m just telling I’m just trying to explain to you I know a little about your background and you know I hope we can be on good terms and be friends. I respect you I just, I know I worry that you’re not going to be able to kill people, fast enough or large enough measure because they advertise no, let’s be honest, they advertise, who all is being profoundly deadly, but I’ve been suspicious from while that you’re not as deadly as you say, you are.” says Lacey. “ don’t give me that look I have I’ve seen the movies. I’ve seen the videos of you and the desert blowing things up and yeah OK it looks impressive but the world is very big and I am just a little worried sweeties that you’re not really going to be able to kill people enough.

No, it’s not meant to be a criticism necessarily at all it’s just is there a way where if we drop you you can work together and try as hard as you can to kill as many people as possible like don’t spend all of your energy and just and just one place spread it out so that it just covers as much territory as lethally as possible don’t don’t yeah don’t water down because of that you don’t kill anybody but just spread it out so that you kill as many people as possible not not so that you don’t kill anybody you know I had a Dr. Buckman experience don’t do that you don’t want to leave people with radiation poisoning and not killing them I’m just talking can you try to sort of spread the energy out as much as possible so that if we drop you, you won’t you know, bury yourselves into the earth and spread radiation up and into the air but instead, you’ll just sort of spread it out. Keep it even kill kill as many people as possible and then will be good.

I think you can do it and hopefully you know you’ll be able to just sit and observe as boring as that is but if we have to use you, that’s just a bit of advice you know just from a hopeful friend spread your energy out as much as possible and kill as many people as you can, and don’t just throw your radiation around everywhere poisoning people because the radiation is really the part that is the most annoying You know that’s the part that bothers people I don’t you know hopefully the sad yes I know we’re sad about the people that would die who shouldn’t die oh that’s very sad and that’s why we hope that we don’t have to use you but if we do use you, can you just try to be as deadly as possible as quickly as possible?” asks Lacey.

“You know Joe would Lacey have to be having these conversations with nuclear missiles if you had started World War II?” asks a Rockefeller.

“ I don’t think my father is going to answer that question because they answer would be no she wouldn’t be. Yeah at the same time I think he feels bad because the nuclear missiles if she can actually talk to them if there’s things that Christians don’t know about how God created the world might actually be giving her a pleasant conversation and he feels bad that she’s so lonely.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.

“ she’s talking to the missiles and they’re her friends that’s nice!” says Joe to someone.

“ did you guys understand that bootlegging was like a business and that Tom might’ve done business with Joe Kennedy or not?” ask rappers.

“ I think we hear things sometimes and then they don’t really sink in.” says Rachel Maddow.

“ and when does Lem’s get proven to be gay? Because I know he is and I know she’s just resistant that reality.” says Bobby on behalf of himself and most living gay men.

“ speaking of which let’s talk about the first maid!” says Rachel Maddow.

“ I spent my entire fucking life trying to obliterate Tom Banks from existence. I hated men like him, and I set out in this country to destroy their existence.” says Honey Fitz.

“ you’re an idiot! what the fuck do you have against the Netherlands you dumb bitch?” says Lacey Banks.

“ I, but he is his last name. Your last name is British and you claim to be British.” says Honey Fitz.

“ yes but bozo we’re also Dutch. We are British, but your oversimplifying some thing right after being honest and admitting what you really were doing and I know you’re not that stupid. Do you get my drift genius?” asks Lacey.

“ yeah I think she could be our mother and to be perfectly honest with you we’re deadly. You probably shouldn’t have picked a fight with her.” say nuclear missiles.

“ did you hear what your children just said you’re a nuclear missile mother and I am trying to obliterate you.” says Honey Fitz.

“ how do you plan on obliterating all the nickel all of the nuclear missiles in the world honey fits? Are you going to blow us into outer space on your little rocket?“ says Lacey Banks.

“ but you’re dangerous and I feel responsible and I have no idea how to control you.” says Honey Fitz.

“ and I think we control you and you’re too arrogant to understand that or admit it.” says Lacey Banks.

“ but I don’t know if I agree with your perspective on things.” says Honey Fitz.

“ do you know what it is at all or have you just spent this entire time trying to figure out how to control me?” asks Lacey.

“ I would venture to guess that we have no fucking clue who you are and we’ve just been stupid.” says Jonah Wiley.

“ yeah because during the blitz, it was very hard for them to kill people which sounds so grotesque, but they destroyed so many things yet people did die and so basically, the idea of the nuclear missile was just sort of crate some thing where it would just end everyone and you’d have to go meet God, but it would happen as quickly as possible.” says Lacey Banks.

“ so you almost dated the grandson, who are the who is a math genius of the people who worked with Robert Oppenheimer to build a nuclear bomb like they were on his team, and his last name was barge?” says Jonah Wiley.

“ yes yes yes.” says Lacey. “ i’ve been saying that for a while, but they don’t understand that that’s unusual.”

“ hey so it would be better than like flying and hitting your head or it would be about that about like that what would it be what it what is it like dying in a nuclear nuclear war?” asks the second maid.

“ no it’s more like him but it’s worse it’s scarier than being in a plane crash while it’s happening to you but then it’s about like that so being a plane crash is scarier at first because you’re flying through the air and you know you’re gonna die when you’re in a nuclear war, you don’t necessarily know that but then as it’s happening it’s scarier because you stay alive a little longer so your brain has a little more time to process it but then your dad so I mean it’s sort of negligible it’s bad, but if you’re prepared for a weird experience, it might not be quite that scary. Be perfectly honest with you if you if you believe in Christ and you’re almost positive that ghost exist, you’re probably more likely to be worried about other people, then anything else.” possibly says a nuclear bomb.

“ i’m gonna start thinking of nuclear bombs as my children when they used to jump on me and scare me and I don’t mean in a sexual way I mean I had football kids and they were big and they scared me and I’m just going to think of them as scary kids and you just kind of have to sort of cheer them on and say you go you got you know you go, you win and you know they have they have a job to do and they’re going to do it as a Christian they’re going to bring me to heaven and you know I I just have to say go team. I am proud of them they’re doing me proud.” says a southern Christian.

“ so your perspective is just like let them do their job. This is their thing. This is what they were created to do and it’s kind of like watching a kid and a football performance or him may be on stage and you don’t really understand the music and it’s loud and you’re just like this is really weird but I want them to be able to have the freedom to do what they need to do and I suppose as a father, you’re thinking that they’re kind of like a veteran it’s kind of like they’re fighting a war for us?” asks George Bush.

“ I wonder if I’ve expected my kids to be too helpful and that probably has been inappropriate but at well but the same time I think of like kids that like in a farm and it’s a little scary because you think my kid is out there on a tractor and they could you know start a fire or they could you know like a lose a lot of money and that’s going to hurt but I’m just gonna trust that you know God and take care of us, and if those bombs actually are good at well-intentioned in Christ can use them if they have some sort of energy that we’re not aware of as Christians which is terrifying to consider because it does sound like witchcraft, but we really don’t know how he made the universe I mean he tells It’s not to masturbate he tells us you know to be careful with our things, and I wonder if there’s more than we realize or if there’s a ghost tricking Lacey or what’s going on I don’t know, but if somehow she can talk to them and they’re real or if they have some AI consciousness I am just gonna look at them as the home team as a Christian and if they take me home if they blow me up good on them.” says a southern Christian.

“ you’re also an American and I think you feel like you lost your country and you’d like to have an argument with Putin yourself instead of having people do it on your behalf with no idea what you’re thinking.” says Rachel Maddow.

“ yes and you know something there’s a reason she talk to those bombs because she decided that as a woman from Minnesota being Lacey Banks, that she was just going to take matters into her own hands and sort of have a conversation with them you know I respect that I don’t know why honey fit such a problem with her I think he has a problem with the south no I do. I think he has a problem with the south I don’t think he understands the south. Is it in the south? We’re not afraid of our children be being amazing and better than us. We’re proud of them. And and so I don’t think Lacey scare her. The southern nuclear missiles could be her children. I think she’s proud of them and let me tell you something. I’m kind of proud of them now to because let me tell you something I am tired myself and I do believe in heaven and if this blog is real, heck yes, I’m ready to go home. I made my whole dang family to go and see that’s the thing that you don’t believe people don’t understand if there is purgatory and that’s all Christ sorts this out without ruining our free. Well OK fine the Baptist didn’t understand that.. oh, and so then you know, Putin and I might have a conversation in Purgatory between men and I might tell him that he was not clear on how much certain Americans really love the country. I but I understand that he didn’t have a chance to talk to every dang one of us. I get it. I and I think what makes me mad is that you people don’t understand heaven is beautiful, but Lacey and I know isn’t that a nuclear bomb is not our enemy the nuclear bomb census real quick to heaven and send my family to heaven, it sends my church to heaven it sends my neighbors to heaven and I witness to them every day and let me tell you something, if we all go to heaven real damn quick wake up, find ourselves back in bed with God talking to us because we’re dead I’m not gonna be too upset I am not gonna be too upset. I have been so desperate to get close to God in the last 10 years that if I die and he is in my living room talking to me, but we’re in heaven and I don’t have to worry about all this nonsense anymore. I am going to be too upset I sure as heck it I’m gonna say thank you God for those nuclear weapons and their love for Christ.” says the southern man. “ because in my mind, they are heroic. We created them in the greatest generation to try to be humane and whore. They are heroic and I don’t see why we have to be so darn scared of them, unless if we’re afraid of going to hell, when we die, or afraid that will cease to exist.

And this is where you are lying about being so comfortable dying you sure as hell ain’t comfortable dying you sure as hell it and you lie about all the time you bitches. You say I don’t care if I die I don’t care that ain’t true that is a fucking lie quit saying that shit you do you fucking care.” says a southern man.

“ and the good news is there probably is an afterlife no matter how many scientist say they never have seen the near death experience proven there probably is an afterlife and people in illuminati to be honest are often negligent if they don’t have some heart-to-heart with themselves about that because most of us see things that are unexplainable at least once and yet we still let people print articles about these genius, honest, scientists, and how they don’t think there’s life after death after all, you know Neil Degrasse, and Ticy, Soso. They insist that they know they proving it, but they haven’t and to be honest it’s a little weird when a lot of people in illuminati are in capable of handling that, and those are the sort of things that we’ve just turned a blind eye to for the last 40 or 50 years Lacey, being the illuminati has sort of awakened us again, and a lot of us have been shellshocked by her existence if she’s a greatest generation member, that’s how some of us have explained it to ourselves because a lot of what she says is just like waking up from a dream and being in shock that you got so confused.” says a woman in the Illuminati.

“ so that’s part of why you all are so angry at Tom because you think it’s possible that she really was supposed to marry Michael or just exist and be married to love him and you can’t figure out how he screwed that up that makes sense. Because you think if she had been alive, she would’ve been so determined to to keep us from falling off track. I have a feeling she would’ve been him but then I swear if that’s who she is and I think it really might just be who she is. You’ve got a sort of just understand that what she’s sharing with you it’s still useful.

It probably is a lot like what we would say but it’s coming from someone who’s old money and not southern her see a family is southern. But they’re not southern the way I am southern they’re not new south they’re old south and there might be some old south of me too but it’s very pristine and it’s not the south that you people are familiar with. And you know I’m not saying her mother is perfectly pristine, but I have a strong suspicion that the part of them that was preserved from the antebellum south has an element of some thing that you know I might not even know about it might not be as pristine as I think it is I don’t even know, I think Christine is the word that comes to me but the point is it’s not gonna look like what you want it to look like because she sounds like me but you have to take her seriously because you can’t just discount her as an angry mouth breathing, poor white person.” says the southern man.

“That’s true. AMEN!” says Lacey Banks.

“ I and that’s where I don’t know that she is actually Becca‘s daughter and yet that’s who raised her.” he says, trying not to laugh.

“ because you’re intimidated by her she’s terrifying to you. I don’t think you understand how wealthy and powerful the Seays were in the old south. And see you’re part of the problem and that way you’re right she does sound like you but when we talk to your subconscious, you’ve done a shit job defending her. Up until now you people have throwing her under the bus over the cliff every single fucking time.” says Lester Holt.

Circus by Britney Spears plays. It’s Lacey at war.

“ do you know I think it’s sad that a woman could lead in battle with straight men not sleep with them and we don’t understand that in America.” says Lester Holt.

“ so that’s not a game or another that that’s really who she actually is and it makes me uncomfortable.” says the southerner.

“ and why does it make you so uncomfortable it does make you wanna fuck me? See maybe that’s why I want you to feel because then I can cut off your dick and kill you.” says Lacey.

“The so there’s there’s no you don’t you don’t you’re not interested in negotiations I hear you wow you’re brutal and quick and you don’t leave any room for doubt my God I’m dumb you’re right where the hell do I choose to be attracted to you why not just treat you like a person who is a woman Who I find attractive and then just leave it at that that’s very peasant like of me.” he says.

“ yeah I can imagine how that makes me feel it’s terrifying because as a Christian I’ve had to deal with the reality of reincarnation because of this and it might not be real but I’ve had to deal with it. I still up and it’s awful because I don’t want to let someone think that that is Christianity. It’s not, but I am incredibly heartbroken that this country doesn’t know how to behave it seems like peasants. Here aren’t really courage to better themselves in a genuine way. You’re more encouraged to just sort of feel sorry for yourselves, hate rich people, and then just sort of being mean or something or what is it I don’t it’s just sick to me.” says Lacey.

“You remember being married to Lem?” asks a southern woman.

“yes vaguely. And I can’t tell if that’s just my imagination or if it’s a real memory in this case summaries, I can tell that with I can’t tell with this one but you know I just think I have no idea I I if it’s in the Bible, God, you know did that my biggest worry is that it’s meaningful and significant in this context and I don’t know and then I have to trust God, but that’s scary to me because I like to take responsibility for whatever I can or should and then beyond that um, it’s horrifying because I don’t want to send someone to hell who is well-intentioned.” says Lacey.

“ do you think you could be Scotia?” he asks.

“ I wish I could be. I look like her slightly. No I have I do a very slightly slightly look like her what I worry about is that Tom could be the Egyptian king who was my father and still is because it kind of makes sense to me, but then I circle back and I think maybe I seem like her, but we’re not the same people. And then I think not maybe I’m not Scotia, but I wonder if I am Scottish and I somehow have a soft spot in my heart for her even though I’m not her. And the problem is though that Stainglass looks like me of Scotia it’s frightening them out that’s what I look like in person. I’ve never seen my likeness depicted any more clearly anywhere potentially ever how do I look like that woman so much and it’s in my eyes it’s very creepy And I try to explain it away by saying well maybe there’s some Scottish and my Becks family um but you know it’s scary because worst case scenario I really was a Scottish aristocrat and then I felt here because somehow I still feel responsible for that land and those people and I’m horrified does that make sense?“ says Lacey.

“ oh, are you sure it’s lame. I mean I read your blog I’m a little worried it’s Michael.” he says.

“ I am too but it seems like I am with Lem’s regardless and he is my husband and I call I don’t call the shots right? God is the ultimate authority he’s my ultimate you know captain he’s who I follow so he says it’s lime I go with lime and that’s how I see it. You don’t question the chain of authority in that way with God, when he says you’re with them I say you’ve got it I’m with One and you know it’s like I know I’m not Jack but I’ve asked him countless times practically not really literally but I’ve asked him quite a few times I know he never says I’m Jack he never says that you know a lot of things and it’s exasperating dealing with the illuminati because they don’t have respect for that because they don’t have respect for God in most cases almost at all they think they are God so it’s endless questioning endless me telling them the same thing and then them getting very frustrated by that and very narcissistically offended because that’s not what they think and they think they’re God.” says Lacey Banks.

“ and what is Jonah Wiley hate you?” he says.

“ see that’s the problem. we don’t talk like this. My mother and I used to talk like this that raise me but they don’t in the illuminati and this might be why I sound like you because they don’t know how to just talk like this. I have a feeling Truman Capote probably does but it’s a southern thing probably and it’s in the blood that I was raised by whether it’s really who I am by nature or not or not, but I grew up having conversations like this and I just had to point that out to you.” says Lacey.

“So what? What what gives then?” says the southern man.

“ I don’t actually know I’m actually rather dumbfounded by him I would ask you what happened but I don’t know that you’d tell me.” says Lacey.

“ you know you don’t dress like a a pretty lady.” he says.

“ no and it often irritates me, but I don’t have any occasion to.” says Lacey.

“ no, you don’t. So what what is your life consist of?” he asks.

“ oh, going to illuminati meetings daily because they’re obsessed with my family and they try to suffocate my breath using demons. It’s been a terrifying life for eight years. But other than that I take showers get dressed in spots go to doctors get dressed, and Brooks Brothers cook clean spend time with my family my kids and my legal husband him and then the rest is just spending time with them and sometimes I get dressed up for him, but that’s not typical because usually we’re just going to sleep together spending our day together, as he kind of waits for me to die and then that’s it.” says Lacey. “ sometimes I go and make me pick up some thing from some nice restaurants I rarely are we we don’t go in because there’s no one to take care of our kids and the illuminati makes my kids have like demonic attacks where they fall or sometimes they’ll start screaming about something because they’re a little enough to be irritated enough to do that, or they get into fights with each other and so we can’t go and sit in a restaurant so we take out you know expensive food from restaurants sometimes or we go to a no it’s sort of nice resort, and we sort of keep to ourselves but we can’t sit down in a public restaurant so it’s miserable and that way but I we have money or you know we know how to live well and they hate that about us but because they don’t but that’s what it is it’s it’s LivingWell and trying to stay away from situations where they get irritated and start trying to attack us because they’re too narcissistic be offended so expensive restaurants, we can’t sit there as a family, because they find that very narcissistically offensive and I can’t go out with my husband anymore because they’ve isolated us by legal husband. I mean there’s time is the password with him and I will go out sometimes you know and I might get a gin and tonic and we might just talk for a few hours. Literally here’s my legal husband. I did great two kids with him, but no we can’t do that anymore and then they threw me down the stairs so Jen is out so is wine I love champagne I love a good red wine but nope no red wine no champagne no Jen and that’s fine I drink tea I love tea I love coffee, so sometimes we go out we get coffee, but usually when that happens, they harass us on the way there. Then they harass us on the way back the other day they made someone smoke pot around us, which made my daughter freak out and start running, and she almost ran into traffic, and Lem’s literally had to stop her, because I think in the back of her mind she’s ready to just die and be with dad, so is my son but they’re not going to die until God wants them to, and love knows that and they in some cases keep him from being able to kill us in our sleep because if I die in my sleep in my kids, die in my sleep and away, that’s peaceful they have to realize he was straight and that’s really how petty and stupid they are. That’s what they’re obsessed with sweetie. they’re dumb as dirt, and they literally cannot cognitively understand that he wasn’t gay.” says Lacey.

“ so they don’t understand that Chris Hayes literally channels Michael’s and then that actually did conjure you but that you’re really meant to be with Lem’s fraternity they don’t get that concept?” he asks.

“ yes they seem like stupid Nager’s don’t they? I’m not racist but I know where you could be going with that I’m cutting you off at the chase but no they do don’t they they seem like very stupid Nager’s but they’re white and then you thinks yourself how the fuck can I be so dumb? I don’t know honey I have no idea I am exhausted. Trying to explain that to them and I don’t know what else to do.” says Lacey.

“ how many different ways have you tried explaining it to them?” asks a woman.

“ what do you mean like I what do you mean how many different ways I’ve tried lots of different ways you’ve seen it on the block what was it? What other ways can you think of? What do you even mean?” says Lacey.

“ oh, so you tried you tried explaining it from lots of different angles, but I think you’re I think you’re too aristocratic to know how to explain it to them and like a dumb person way.” he says.

“ yeah I have no idea what that even is I don’t I’m not a peasant do you want to enlighten me or just block me? Is that your moment of glory? Are you actually trying to help?” says Lacey.

“ so like you know, I am just mocking you because I like Jonah.” he says.

“ oh, really do you suck his cock or do you look at his pictures and masturbate babe?” says Lacey.

“ you think I look at that man and want to suck his cock.” he says.

“ yep I sure as hell do bitch.” says Lacey.

“ I am not gay.” he says.

“ then why are you get turned on by him boy?” asks Lacey. “ I don’t think honey fits has a problem with the south honey. I think he fucks you in the ass and he’s a little racist just like you dingdong dang. I think you’re a liar and a fraud and you only hope that Jesus saves your soul but you’re full of shit and if you died your word, you go to hell or cease to exist but that’s why you like Jonah because he makes you think about those sweet songs that you heard as a child and makes you wonder if you have a brain and a soul and you know I don’t know if you do or not but if you do Jesus help you Jesus help you bitch.” says Lacey. “ if Russia takes over the US and we have to kill you don’t be surprised when you’re a ghost if when we kill you, you smell your own stench when you die and I’m not talking about a dead body I’m talking about the possible lose out of your body because you’re just a human were made of pus.”

“yep that’s American and that’s who I like to be that’s more people that’s my people that’s the Irish in America. Yep that’s what we do we smell like purse. We got person our souls and that’s why we go up to nice boys like lamb who are confuse Megan suck your cock. Are we going to shut the shut off their head with a knife and see where John ruined the country with our purse but we don’t not be able to handle that because we don Christian and Irish, so fuck you fuck you fuck y’all.” says Hiney Fitz. Formally known as Honey Fitz.