Antal Dorati conducts the Detroit Symphony Orchestra playing Stravinsky’s L’Adoration de la Terre from Le Sacre du Printemps. It’s an American sounding interpretation of Stravinsky’s work and so it sounds awful by comparison to other European interpretations but…it’s still Stravinsky. And towards the end of song because it’s in Detroit they start sounding Russian. They resist until the end. And in the end…it’s…the exhaustion of the men that’s deadly to the US.
But…Lacey knew that. Tsar Putin knew that. They’re not normal people.
Lacey’s family really did raise her to be elite. But only in a way that would be deadly. Because her parents are evil. They’re not all evil though. But they’re far more evil than the American Illuminati, led by Bobby Kennedy Junior, wants to comprehend. But that’s not Lacey Banks.
The song ends sounding like the best horror movie ever made. It’s exquisite! *he smirks and smiles*
I might just make that the only song on this post.
Let’s have a chat.
I’m not old money. Not like Lacey thought. But I’m also not not old money, which is why she was so confused. I’m old upper middle class money. So…our house was grand but not that grand. And we had a rose garden but it was not on an estate. It was in my backyard next to Lacey’s house. We…had contributed to the Blanche Schweitzer Fund at Hamline University but it was not a huge fund. Ever. Not like some people’s families. Look…Lacey’s family could make a fund at North Dakota State University or the University of North Dakota but they’re far too suspicious. And they’re misers. They help people and care but they aren’t…like that. It’s the Norwegian in them but it’s also who they are. Be careful. Lacey is and is not one of them.
As I’m writing that Bobby has started masturbating to get me to shut-up. He’s exhausted today after staying-up three nights in a row to harass her and he’s aging. But…he’s still determined.
“Bobby…can you fuck all of DFM? Because you’re going to have to.” says Mike Schweitzer.
“What’s DFM again?” asks Bobby, who’s daughter will be on food stamps in her last years alive most likely, even though she hashtagged herself as #richkidofInstagram.
“Why do the Kennedys do that? It’s a show. You made her make that ‘mistake’ to seem rich.” says Mike Schweitzer.
“Because she had to.” says a girl.
“Fine. But I wanna know why she thought it- Why did Bobby think it made sense?” asks Mike.
“Look. We plant stories in the press all of the time.” says Bobby.
“Yeah. You do. Just like the ones your family used to make us believe Lem was homosexual. And now historians have taken the vulnerability of the US press to the wiles of the historic Kennedy Spin Machine too far. Because now they use your fabricated stories to write history. Which means they’re essentially feeding our brains toxic plastic, metaphorically speaking, to use to keep us intellectually alive. …But Bobby…you’re not aware either on some level. You too think Lem was gay. For real. …Even if you murdered him for being straight and killing your uncle. You’re a very, very convoluted man.” says another dead Schweitzer.
I’m trying to help everyone right now and that’s why I’m telling you that Bobby. But if there’s an Illuminati he can’t psychologically process through the reality of Lem Billings or Lacey as they actually are. Because then he has to realize his father was a loser. Not just a hero. No…he has to see his family and his father objectively.
Hey. For the readers at home, let me help you out. If there’s one thing you need to understand it’s that Lacey is writing this for the King of Norway. It’s her blog but she’s using her great granduncle’s title. So…she’s protected by Norway. As a knight. So…she’s a spy for the King of Norway but…in a public, hilarious way. And that’s Norwegian culture. They have a collective Norwegian sense of humor. And this is it. So if there is an Illuminati…they have guilt that they’re not honest and open about the Illuminati. And this is their noble and brave attempt to be honorable. Lacey is a knight at heart, as a lady. A Lady can be both heterosexual and beautiful…and gallant as a knight. Norwegians know that. The British know that. The Americans could know but they choose not to.
So if there’s reincarnation in the Bible here’s your cast of characters for this blog at this time:
Lacey Banks: Scottish aristocrat with a title in her family. They were brave, difficult, very violent at times, terrifying, and yet noble, lovable and kind. They’re good people as far as people go. But…you don’t…necessarily understand them.
Micheal Rockefeller:
Harold Loeb:
Nevermind. I’m not able to do a whole cast of characters right now. That’s my fascination, but there’s not time for that right now. I’ll have to do that later. Sorry. I’m actually kind of a expert at that sort of thing. So don’t worry, I will eventually. Because believe me you want me to.
“Who are you?!?” asks a reader.
“I’m…a dead upper middle class old money man. I was a genius with machines.” says the writer of this blog Lacey is channeling.
“So you’re an American?” asks a reader.
“Yes! Very much so.” says the writer of this post.
Lovers From The Past by Mareux plays.
I have to be honest with you I’m a little in awe of myself right now because if this is real and there’s an Illuminati I never expected to have this sort of place in history and I just have to deal with that.
The Kennedys stole Lem’s body. If he’s had sex with Lacey he’d have been okay but without that they stole his body and used his sperm to make their children. But…not literally. They did this in the Illuminati. So all of Bobby’s kids are eerily like Lem and Lacey because they literally used witchcraft to steal Lem’s body, including his sperm. They stole Lem’s human flame. He lit it backwards, because he was molested but then they, in the ignorance of their immigrant Irish poverty background, saw that backwards flame and used it to lie. They had at some point decided that lying was acceptable and maybe even virtuous given their Irish poverty…and so the backwards flame made complete sense to them even if it actually made no sense and they had almost nothing in common with Lem.
Joe Kennedy Junior was an idiot at what I’m brilliant at. I’m a wiz with mechanical anything. Flying planes is something that comes naturally to me. I get in, intuitively figure it out, and in two lessons am good at it. Joe Kennedy Junior…has to have the basics explained and then rescheduled to be explained later. He’s oddly sexual about it. He’s goofy, when he’s not at war. Flying a plane for me is sexual but in so far as I know it’s about a woman. I don’t find the plane attractive. And the plane doesn’t find me attractive. It’s like riding a horse. And I can relate to the plane as though it’s a plane and I’m the PILOT. So I look at the gears and see my wife at times in bed…but I never get confused and think the plane actually is my wife. The plane and I have a purely working relationship. We’re good friends, if that’s possible. Like actual friends, if that’s possible. Nothing creepy, you know? It’s a plane.
Joe Kennedy Junior felt the plane coming on to him…and he was…utterly stunned and scandalized by it. Let’s listen to Little By Little by Radiohead play as we imagine Joe Kennedy Junior hilariously going psychotic and imagining that the plane was sexually obsessed with him. He was nervous. Why? Why was he so nervous? It was like his wedding night every time he flew? Well the wedding night for most people. And based on what Pat told me he was like that when they had sex.
“No! Joe was a rockstar in bed.” says Joe Kennedy Senior.
“Besides that being creepy that you knew that…Joe…it isn’t true. That’s a myth.” says the ultimate writer of this post.
“I’m not sure what you’re talking about!” says Joe Kennedy Senior. “Janet says I had a huge penis. So…”
“Umm…did you even know how to use it?” asks the ultimate writer of this blog.
“Use it?” says Joe.
“Yes. You can’t just have a giant penis to have good sex. You have to understand how to mechanically have sex. And I don’t any of the Kennedys know how to have good sex. I think you brag about that to lie about your ineptitude.” says the ultimate writer of this post.
“Fine. We do.” says Joe Kennedy Senior.
“I had babies!” says Rose.
(Adult content below)
“So what!? You can have babies through bad sex. And that’s mostly what you and Joe had.” says the ultimate writer of this blog post.
“I orgasmed!” says Rose, defensively.
“How many times?” asks the ultimate writer of this blog post.
“Five?” says Rose.
“That’s awful.” says the ultimate writer of this blog post.
“No it’s not!” says Rose, sincerely confused.
“Rose…you were…having bad sex. Maybe a few good times. And that’s all.” says the ultimate writer of this blog post.
“I thought it was fine. It’s not a big deal.” says Rose.
“Why?” asks the ultimate writer of the blog post.
“Because I’m- I got off daily with Janet.” says Joe.
“Yeah. See. He didn’t need that from me.” says Rose.
“Don’t you need that?” asks the ultimate writer of this blog post.
“No. I’m not like that.” says Rose.
“Huh. Explain.” says Lacey.
“I don’t want to put out. That much.” says Rose. “Letting him have me was enough for me. I had a very low libido.” She thinks. “But I also didn’t care about getting off for Joe.”
“Why?” asks Lacey.
“Lacey Banks. She’s married to Tom.” says Bobby masturbating to thoughts of Lacey’s sexual prowess as Flashing Lights by Kanye West plays as Kate Shaw-Hayes cheers him on and as his sexual fidelity accountability partner.
Kate Shaw-Hayes laughs. “Losers!”
“Right!? Tom doesn’t have kids.” says Kate. “And if he does it sure as Hell isn’t Lacey.”
“Right!? Dumbasses!” says Bobby, laughing.
“Except…I am her father. For real.” says Tom Banks.
“Even if you didn’t conceive her?” says Bobby.
“Yes! Are you deaf!?” says Tom Banks.
And at that Hotel Cecil (in the afterlife and here somehow too possibly) gets blasted by The Next Episode by Dr. Dre. They’re (the Hotel Cecil) irate.
“I can’t believe that. I’m sorry.” says Bobby, like he’s a jaded but wise person.
Get In My Car by 50 Cent plays as Joe Junior walks away from his plane to Pat Wilson. Pat Wilson is not aware that Joe is…cheating with his…plane.
“Joe! How did it go today, darling?” says Pat Wilson.
“I had a real blast!” says Joe.
“Oh good!” says Pat, unaware he’s confessing to cheating and possibly trying to start an open relationship.
Keen to Cross the Pond 