so Putin accidentally just moved the grave Romanoff my waking up from a nap and screaming this morning. He was in a bad mood and he had been up last night talking to Lacey who I think he might be in love with slightly, and he screamed and he woke up because he stepped on something he said, and an illuminati member said that the grave of a Romanov was seen to have shook at the time like there was an earthquake and we’re a little worried because we can’t figure out what that means are the Romanovs putting us on and they know there’s not reincarnation and they’re teasing us for being stupid and no I don’t. I don’t want to say bye. No, we’re not, but what the heck did a Romanoff come back and decide to be Putin do you know who seems a little interesting to Vladimir Putin Putin would be the chef and Vladimir Lenin is the one who decided he knows the communist is it a joke I am does czarist communist chef so in a perfect world are communist Jeff would’ve just transitioned to being in charge of the country because we had an excellent chef, whose last name was Putin and Putin is the chefs joke with the czar about the nature of humanity and why communism doesn’t work then yes, I think maybe a Romanov was reincarnated if that’s possible in the Bible it seems like God might do that and extenuating circumstances it’s not something everyone does some religions think that’s all it that he wants to to be saved but maybe it could happen on occasion, but it’s not typical what’s concerning to me, though is that I had to say that because this blog post is going to be about sex.
Yesterday Lacey tried on a skirt from the 1960s. No I think it was the 50s. It was the kind of skirt that they were featured in madman. Now it was sort of like an A-line skirt or so it seemed. She put it on and she filled it out, but it fit around her waist kind of like how Marilyn would’ve wore the skirt and so it came in at the at the waist and then it darted out and then it came in at fit her ass to in a way that was on the usual, but it wasn’t unusual. I saw lots of women who had that shape, but I’ve never seen a woman alive today who has a shape like that they wear the vintage and it fits around their hips more and it just doesn’t create the same shape it. It looks very elegant on them, but also looks kind of frumpy to be honest, even on curvy women from today, I’m not sold on the idea that everyone’s regressing like some women are I think some are regressing, and some are just slightly altered.
The thing is Lacey is shaved more like we were so someone made that skirt knowing that she existed and it looked really sexy like really sexy except it was just a simple A-line skirt and so you wouldn’t think anything of it like piggy ward and madman and this is on the Janie Bryant was not aware of, and it was a little annoying, and I got the whole series off. Lacey wore that skirt and it turned into a very sexual skirt, but not sexual in a way that a man alive today would understand. I instantly got it. Yes she was like she was downstairs in her basement yesterday. Looking for a sets of China that she didn’t find but she found a lot of other fun stuff. My family broke some stuff that’s irreplaceable and historic it was only worth $400 but still it is actually quite rare and we’re having to deal with that reality today because one of them may have been a masonic symbol that Lacey wasn’t trying to use, but it was possible Masonic antique Masonic candy dish that just ended up in her possession within the last 5 to 10 years.
Anyway, she tried on the skirt from the 19 early 60s or late 50s and she was like oh no this looks good on me and of course Linn was aroused him and I thought and like you know she looks sexy. It really fits her curves really well and part of the reason it was so sexy is because even though women were different in the past, it still wouldn’t fit some women and this is probably why Janie Bryant didn’t know it Lacey was still curvier than some women from the past not not not that they weren’t curvy, but they were, but she’s unusually curly and it’s not really in a way that most women today would be able to even understand even Kim Kardashian because they were just that curvy I mean when Lacey had sex with her husband who she’s alive which is a live with her they were to get pregnant the first time they had sex literally the first time like they would have sex one time and she would get pregnant. I don’t know exaggerating it was like every time but they put their minds to it even accidentally had sex when she was getting off birth control and have been off birth control for like less than like two or three weeks to get pregnant and then they’ve decided to have a kid tried once Scott pregnant. Lacey is violently fertile but I actually think that’s rather charming because it’s not violent but she’s extraordinarily fertile. You know the funny thing is, it doesn’t mean that the buildings would’ve had 12 children, they probably would’ve had three maybe four depending on when they met each other and then that’s it because they would’ve planned the whole thing out but she instantly gets pregnant. She instantly gets pregnant and that’s where the curves came from so women of the past people who are really into vintage today you’re not wearing the clothes the same way that they would have. I’m sorry if that frustrates you, but you’re not really capable of doing it so when you wear the clothes don’t assume that you have a full experience because you can’t your body just won’t allow for it you’re too grounded in the present that being said, when you die, you know a guy would probably allow you that experience if you’re really that fascinated by vintage but you won’t be able to experience it fully and tell your dead I’m sorry.
Anyway, she tried on the skirt, and it was the way that a woman of the past who is shaped like her, would’ve worn it, which was to accidentally make them look far more sexual than they were aware of because our generation had women like her who were smart, but secretly accidentally really sexual, and there are kind of ditzy And the men of our generation thought that was a tractive and so they would play things like that up so she was wearing a skirt that Peggy wore and madman when P comments on Hamidi. She looks at her rear, but Lacey looks like we do and so it wasn’t Peggy’s not that curvy and madman, compared to how women would’ve been at the time potentially and gotten commentary for met him that was a weird scene piggy actually looks rather matronly in that skirt by our standards. She did fill out the skirt, but it wouldn’t have been perceived as attractive. It would’ve been seen as being sort of like how a nun would be dressed in ghost, try to make a joke about that amongst themselves and it just went horribly wrong because that priest that she has a run-in with actually is very aroused attraction by her and we knew that but we weren’t sure if the writers word and they didn’t so that was a joke that we try to make that Lacey could’ve just ended up accidentally bed with an a priest from that skirt, but not pit but then it didn’t quite work because they talked about nuclear holocaust and it wasn’t funny anymore.
Oh, so the thing is most of my so my family is in hell right now I have avoided hell because I actually am rather terrified of God and I might’ve really been Catholic. Ironically, I might be more of the Kennedys or some other family member and that’s disturbing him And I have even though I slept with Mary Richardson I have not gone to hell. It’s possible actually that that’s how I avoided. Hell, Bobby Mary really might not be a terrible person and you were very mean to her. Well, my family was going crazy. Mary understood me and we got to be a love him. I’m sorry, but I have avoided hell and not by playing a trick on God because we didn’t we just chose not to completely defy him and to be thankful that we were in hell.
Getting back to that skirt that Mary could try on a skirt and she looks something like Peggy intriguingly enough and for some reason this is going to surprise you, but I actually like that I thought was the same way Ethel was from my generation, but she was slightly less curvy than some women She was curvy but she was slightly less curvy than summit women and I actually kind of like that I just I like to I like that look him so Lacey put on the skirt filled it out and all the right places so to speak and measure, my generation thought that’s the way I woman should look in the knot of their head. I love got aroused, and had to sort of make everyone leave, no it was. It was a skirt that could’ve been featured and mad but it was sort of tan and I could see a secretary Badman wearing a skirt but Lacey liked it when she wore it know it was provocative and so I will I thought you know I’m gonna really think about this for once And have a real conversation and I said you know I know I respectfully like Lem’s wife but she’s too. She’s too meaty.
Oh, and then someone pointed out to me yes, but Bobby Lamb is 6 foot four and he was the strongest man on crew when your family took him hostage. This morning Marty there their son was stomping around. Actually his name is not Marty but that’s what I’m calling him. There’s a there’s sun was stopping it’s Lacey son with her legal physically a living husband now who was still a big around the house and singing because I guess he thought that was kind of fun. You know boys do that well boys that I had did stuff like that, sometimes her kids are sort of like boomers but not everything they do but it’s a little little things here and there they’re like the boomers like her daughter wants to grow up and be a doctor and she’s adamant about it that’s not really a thing that any other generation was so adamant about but the boomers were And then they assumed that every other generation wanted to do that as passionately as they did him him but no she really wants to be a doctor. She also wants to have a baby and be a mom but she really wants to be a doctor. Everybody is like a Boomer oh, that he has a lot of things figured out but he’s sort of reticent about a great many things. The river men are like that Very perceptive, but they tend to be a little reticent, especially in the elite the other day. Her son was dancing in a way that was sort of like his Ted. He was dancing sort of in a way like the boomers did at Woodstock he was alone and it was innocent, but he invented dance moves like how they danced in Woodstock in the 60s and was singing at the same time, and it was a little edgy, or than that it was more like how the Rolling Stones would’ve Danced Him but he thought he was inventing. It was some original dance moves and he was he was, but I’m a little worried that he’s going to think that these are really cool dance moves and show someone in his present generation but he’s a teenager in a dance, and the people are just gonna be totally weirded out by him And he’s gonna get embarrassed I am how do you been born you know 50 years ago even or 70 years ago had Marty been born 70 years ago and got on a date in the 60s I have a feeling there’s some chicks that would’ve thought he was really groovy and sort of been an hour of him and wondered if they were dating a rockstar that’s not what the girls up today most likely will think in about four years.
Yes mother nature accidentally has Marty practicing dance moves for four years for a date with a woman who will probably be in her 80s and obviously it will be perverse and not possible which is why God knows that and there might be dead boomers who a temporary once in a while, go back to being teenagers Just to hang out with Marty and Elizabeth from an actual innocent teenager perspective so that Marty Elizabeth don’t lose their minds and because there really are dead teenagers from the boomers who would be sad if they could hang out with us to once in a while, and just sort of talk about the adults of today and the kids of today.
More than you might think it’s genetic.
Thankfully, the millennials are a little more smart than I am the boomers were
“I know there’s more issues with children being molested-“ says a female Millennial.
“but the millennials are smarter in a sense so I don’t think they’ll make the same mistakes that the boomers dead when they saw Lacey-“
“I’m already a woman might say and remind me of my dad, he would’ve done that he would have dance like that Marty on a date with my mom like or like my great uncle, depending on how old her parents are, and are my my oldest uncle would’ve done that with my aunt they’re dead now Are there in a nursing home but no Marty that’s really sweet sweetie but like that’s so not what people are doing right now. Um, that’s cool though that’s really cool so maybe just chill out some times at home with your sister and him hang out in your backyard at night and look at the stars And just enjoy yourself with life because I don’t know if everything you experience will be something that girls today will be totally aware of that being said, how about earth like we think about some ways to translate our coolness into today and he might say like what and then I’m alone yellow would be like well Like do you play video games or him like what do what do we do that would be like cool him and then a little girl of today might say I like to play with dolls sometimes with my brother and Marty‘s like I could totally do that. I play with dolls sometimes with my sister And so then he might add talk about like skin care with a girl on a date four years from now and then she might think he was really cool so I don’t know but that’s the thing if that’s a thing it’s like the non-gender thing being kind of cool as a thing with their generation Marty only knows that now it is subconscious because Lacey loves him as his mom.” says a female Millennial.
Intro by Warpaint plays.
“You left us…with a mess.” says a Millennial woman to Bobby. “We’re now having to deal with a Tsar who we instantly fall madly in love with unexpectedly as a leader and choosing to save our God-forsaken country.” says the Millennial woman.
“Anyway…I just wanted to point out that I liked my wife. So if- I could have gone on a date.” says Bobby. “With Lem.”
“But Bobby would you have hit on Lem?” asks a Millennial.
“No. It’s cool. …I have mostly avoided Hell.” says Bobby. “Look…Lem would have been focused on Lacey. And…I preferred women. So it just- I would have been able to enjoy my wife. Because Lacey and Lem are…hot…but not my exact type. And I can tell that. But they’re proper, and dignified. So they’re…good for my reputation.
Also…Lacey knew I’d have been a better US than Jack. So…maybe they’re my friends now.” says Bobby.
“Huh. So you were why we took Jack seriously?” says Vincent K..
“Fine. That’s against Kennedy code to admit that. But yes.” says Bobby.
Silence.
“Anyway…maybe I’m not friends with Lem and Lacey…but…Lacey is normal. Believe it or not. She’s actually really normal.
She’s just old. And it’s so…antique…you don’t know her. She’s not a weirdo though.
Look…it’s sad. Lacey and Lem would have been a charming couple Ethel and I would have taken to. And I would have felt comfortable around Lem with his ‘youthful confusion.’ But I would have been able to tell he was serious about Lacey. And maybe if I’m not a psychopath I wouldn’t have kept coming on to him. Because there’s no…and then there’s no. And Lem meant no for real.” says Bobby.
“Bobby…did Jack really love Lem?” asks the Illuminati.
“No. He loved us.” says Bobby. “He loved our family. And that’s all.”
“Was he gay?” asks a Millennial.
“No. He…was bisexual. He’d identify today as gay. But he was bisexual.” says Bobby.
“Why the hell did you boys get so stuck on that story!?” asks Lacey of living men.
They collectively whince, cry, and look upset. To varying degrees.
“Can I ask you something do you guys find her attractive or do you just know that she is objectively?” asks Bobby.
“Some of us find her attractive. She’s 40. Okay. But…it’s creepy how many of us just know it objectively.” says a Gen. X guy.
“So she’s like Joan on Mad Men but she’s…from a different class?” asks a man.
“Yes.” says Bobby. “In a way.”
“So the Illuminati attacked an old money Joan.” says a reader.
Bob Moses “Broken Belief” plays.
“Mom…you’re stuck in the past.” says Dr. Moritz.
“You’re a fucking idiot.” says Lacey.
The song plays.
“Lacey…the guys of today don’t understand.” says Bobby.
“Lem’s son shook the whole house. He jumped. And the literal whole house shook.” says Tsar Putin.
“ oh, no as millennial involved in the occult I understand why Putin‘s trying to get up. I’m not Rasputin by the way that’s a joke she she had Bobby she conceived her kids with flab. I hope you understand that I think your family struggles to understand that people aren’t like them when they’re better than them when they’re beneath them I think you use that somehow to like help people and also hurt people but we took it as a helpful thing in America. Because you made people who were poor Phyl rich because I don’t think you guys understand ironically, that people are different than you, so you ended up creating a culture where people struggle to understand differences, but then you also created a culture where people felt more comfortable being poor around rich people. And and so it was good in that way, but you created a lot of other toxic shit and so I’m not trying to be mean but you’re not like on my like happy people list when it comes to the dead I’m sorry. Am I’m not sure what which list to put you on though which is interesting because if you’re not in hell, but your family is apparently God and I have the same perspective that way because that’s that’s how I feel about you. I don’t know if you’re bad or good it’s interesting. The thing is is I’m almost positive that lemon Lacey conceived her kits. They used Mark as like a conduit somehow and I don’t think they were trying to be on. You know kind to him but their marriage was dead and Linn knew that and lamb also knew that it was never coming back and I have a feeling that those kids are lumps and almost an almost in a biological way because they don’t have that small of a house it’s like I just imagine a 2000 square-foot house and you kind of get a sense of what their house is actually like, it’s like a 2000 square-foot Cape Cod from the early 19 tons so you’ve got like a 19 tons Cape Cod made from probably great wood and somehow this kid by jumping at age tent managed to make the whole house quiver so Lacey felt it she was upstairs he was downstairs in the living room, and he started jumping and the whole house literally was shaking I don’t think Lacey could make the whole house shake and she’s a grown woman. I doubt their daughter could although I wouldn’t count that out but I doubt their daughter could I think her husband could try? I’m not saying he’s not capable of defending himself, but I think her husband could try but it’s he’s like a 5 foot 10 you know actuary I don’t think That that he would be able to shake the house to the degree that his 10 year old son dead that is significant Mbappé, because from like a scientific perspective that actually could be some proof of an afterlife because it’s been commented that her son might be taller than Mark Add you know he looks like Mark but that is Mark son but I wonder I wonder if maybe a Lem’s created a child and that’s the whole point is that this little boy is capable of that a tent and that’s not typical right the lamb was 6 foot four as you know or maybe you don’t entirely maybe you know that, but you don’t entirely know that one was 6 foot for Bobby and he was huge and that’s his son. It’s possible that his sons a little bigger than most 10-year-olds him and I have a feeling that he probably doesn’t realize how big he is because he thinks he’s Mark son and he is, but I don’t know if he realizes the power of his own strength if he saw his dad walking around their house cause I have a feeling of love more to just be there and walk around the house the house with some Time shake just with lamb walking and Mark does not create that effect as much micro legal husband, but I have a feeling of loan was there at the house with shake at times just for one walking And subconsciously then Marty would know crap if I jump in the house it’s probably gonna be you know torn down in about 10 years because of dad were to go around jumping around the house. The house is stronger than that, but it actually could end up damaging the house, and Lacey knows that it’s been freaking her out for the last two months and I don’t think love knows what to do because it’s like shit there’s a little boy now who’s jumping because he thinks he’s Mark son and he’s trying to serve himself in the world and he has no fucking clue how dangerous he actually is.
So I think that’s where lambs probably flummoxed because how does he explain to Marty that they can’t do that there? They’re not like that I don’t think Marty‘s gonna get it easily without his dad being physically present and there aren’t that many men that are that big nowadays, so it could be hard for Maria to grasp the concept of it And he obeys his mother he he she yells oh Mrs. Marty stop jumping, stop jumping and he does stop but I don’t think he gets it. It’s actually a little creepy because like Lacey‘s trying to keep Marty stop jumping and then Marty is really trying to serve himself as a man and what is the hell is he gonna do this? I think illuminati doesn’t think of with their bullshit Satan is theology. They don’t understand Satanism like I do OK I get Satanism OK just think of me as like a Satanist egghead she’s right, you guys aren’t really sadness you’re like bourgeois bitch Satanists who don’t really fucking have a clue.
And I think Lacey finds it funny, but she needs to be careful as a Christian. You guys really are slow like you guys are slow you’re slow and I find it funny and I can I just find it funny but I don’t think that you guys I don’t I don’t think that you guys can handle hearing it and I don’t know what she’s gonna do because I think she’s been trying to explain to you guys a lot and it’s really not going well. I’m kind of like how it will be with Marty and so then you’re gonna aggravate the hell out of this kid what’s going to happen, yeah if Lem cat rescue his family and bring them to the other side within the next four years, I don’t think you guys understand the hell that you’re being terse because that little boy‘s grandfather is the leader of it like the mob basically but not like the mob of Mario, like who sell the mob of your nightmares they’re not sweet Italian people who immigrated and ate spaghetti They were like FDR son who shot people or was trying to and we still are so barest about it that we make jokes about how he wanted to fuck people online and online. We still make that joke it’s like Elliot Roosevelt like to fuck ha ha ha oh, you sure as heck did he slept with Lacey and she heard his voice cause he like to fuck so much I I think that’s the right I think that’s right he did like to fuck but he also was probably a mob leader. I don’t know if you guys caught that that she was with him for a while because he’s kind of in the same crowd as her family, Hollywood, old money, and then a lot a touch of the criminal element but it’s not like a criminal element the way we think of criminal elements, they’re old money but maybe they just never thought the US entirely made sense and I didn’t want to say anything so they went underground.
The problem is then what do they think should be here so I haven’t said there’s varying opinions Lacey likes monarchy Lacey likes monarchy everything Tom Hanks did as well. I also think he likes the Dutch and I think Lacey is his daughter but they disagree slightly on that. I think Lacey tends to prefer the British side of the Banks family And he tends to go more for the Dutch old money and the digital money says we don’t know if we care Lacey you’re one of us and she says well and they say exactly don’t go there but then the problem is I am she is also banks, and some part of her became very British at her fathers absence, so she’s very British And I think read out grandma Ritter so to speak and all of them can handle it but I have a feeling that we’re grandpa Banks probably understands his granddaughter and has to pay Bob every once in a while and say no no no no she needs tea today and sunshine and we’re going to be rather quiet about certain things and she understands and that’s so British and that sound stereotypical but get over it OK there in America maybe all they have left or the stereotypes to understand themselves.
I have a feeling that grandpa thinks was colder times the way that Lacey is but he was very in love with grandma and he loves warm hearted people just like Lacey they’re not mean but they’re a little reticent it’s possible Lacey is a lot like her grandfather a lot, like her grandfather, who ran the successful Mercantile in Iowa so sometimes kids can be like the grandparents I have a feeling Lacey takes after grandma Ritter and her joyfulness and and Pap and probably in her gumption and grandma Vader died young which is concerning to them. I’m sure but grandpa Banks was cold. I’d like to collect things on a certain level potentially and Lacey really is good at collecting things. I mean she loved collecting for him. She has amazing collection of things in her basement and I have a feeling that’s a typical for most people because she has actual rare things in her basement or dead. Probably still does him and I have a feeling grandpa Ritter understands that fascination and is able to sort of understand her in a way that most people can’t come but then that’s the problem. Um, who is grandpa Ritter or grandpa Banks? I mean who are the banks who is grandpa banks they’re not Dutch old money we don’t really know who they are, which is interesting because Lacey doesn’t talk much about herself. The banks don’t seem to be as loud as the Ritters or whoever else is in the family that’s Dutch old money, who are they though? They’re not excited to tell us and I don’t think Lacey is either which could be how Tom ended up running the mob because he has the router and whatever else it is to do it but then the banks and him doesn’t really wanna share everything which is very useful when you’re taking over, so keep that in mind. Yes she does look like Joanne in a way and it does help understand the whole lame Jack was gay lame was straight thing I think that’s frustrating to Lacey though because she thinks how complicated can you make this it’s just their orientation Lem’s was straight, seemingly we can’t guarantee that but it seems very likely that line was straight so you’re talking to a frustrated secretary in a sense she’s not a secretary, but if you want to think of her, is John losing her temper she’s losing her temper on that issue because she can’t keep re-explaining to you people that lame was straight. She can’t guarantee that he was straight in a way that you seemingly need her to. That’s not possible but she can almost guarantee it and it’s not safe to make the assumption that that’s not reality do you understand that nuance anymore?
Oh you’re very loud. You guys are very simple you’re very derivative whatever OK that’s how people are today that’s not Lacey I am so you need to slow slow down if you can and listen to what she’s actually saying she can’t 100% guarantee that he’s gay no she get 100% get exactly she’s not where did see these ideas and is narcissistic with you people seem Joyce thinks that she is He’s not 100% guaranteed straight. I feel like Schimmels wants to say to you guys that’s not our product. We can’t guarantee customers that you know it’s like you’re kind of you’re talking like you’re in a health food company and she’s like look. The fiber in the figs can almost 100% guaranteed cause people to poop. Yeah that’s how straight line probably it’s OK how guaranteed it is that he’s straight The fiber in the figs has been showing in our studies to cause people to poop but we don’t have scientific evidence to suggest that I can cause people to poop cause it’s like 1985 scientifically and this way we don’t have scientific evidence to prove that the fiber causes people to poop and figs more than other sources of fiber, but Are not figs I’m sorry prunes we don’t have evidence that prunes causes people to poop that would be acceptable in a medical journal. The American medical association does not approve of our product as a pooping you know product it doesn’t approve of our approved product as like a medical laxative. Doctors don’t use prunes to make people poop because they can’t for medical reasons they can’t for legal reasons, but we can almost guarantee that proves make you poop, but everyone in the board room in the illuminati everyone in the illuminati wants her to be able to prove that prunes, make people poop on a scientific level and have it approved by the American medical association and that’s absurd.
You guys are trying to make Minnesota go into a drought pattern just to piss off Lacey that’s how pathetic you guys are I can’t fathom this I cannot fathom how you guys could be this obsessed with her. We try to say things like she’s just Tom’s daughter. She’s just like Joanne, which really should be enough to call me people down and even if your demon possessed I think Lacey and I are both like will hold on OK even if your demon possessed, how did you guys get so stupid? Demons are stupid but they’re generally not that stupid. What the fuck happened?” says a Satanist reader.
Keen to Cross the Pond 