It’s Nonsense, Chris

Chris. It’s nonsense.

“No. It’s not.” says Chris.

Burning Love by Elvis Presley plays. Bobby Skakel is fucking all the secretaries in the office.

“Why is he doing that, that’s weird?” says Jenna Fisher.

“Well because daddy‘s got a big appetite!” says Bobby Skakel (formerly Bobby Kennedy Junior).

“Oh Bobby is short but I don’t have anything better to do tonight…and my boyfriend told me that it was cool to screw teenagers. It’s this new thing. So…it’s like you screw the teenagers and I don’t know, but somehow my boyfriend thinks it’s arousing. So I’m screwing teenagers because it’s cool.” says a 1960’s secretary (not Lacey).

“Yeah, well I’m actually only 23! And he reminds me of my brother. And it’s not that I’m like in love with my brother of course. No…it’s just like he reminds me of my brother and it’s because he’s short. …It’s OK that he’s short. It’s OK! Because you can-you can hang out with me, Bobby. Bobby, it’s OK-it’s OK to be short.” says another secretary.

“And I’m actually really concerned about the weather today! I’m feeling hot!” says the third secretary, suggestively.

“I can handle these chicks. I’m going to fuck all three of them all fucking day. I’m a badass right right?” says Bobby Skakel.

“And actually he does.

They’re all actually hurt by him by the end of the day because none of them are really that slutty in reality. They’re all pretty much just faking it.

But the one that spoke calls him every once in a while because she has a very pragmatic way of looking at sex. And she tends to think that she can have promiscuous sex without it affecting her psychologically. It actually does affect her. She’s become very distant and spacey. She’s not really always thinking as clearly as she used to but she does-she does spread her legs for pretty much anybody because she likes sex. And she wasn’t molested, and she wasn’t raised badly. She’s just very sexually-I don’t know if she’s obsessed with it or something? …I don’t know that women like her could exist today. There may be some men like her but she’s actually different than most women today. I know it-it-no she’s different because she’s what happened before women today happened. She’s not really actually promiscuous in the way women are today women. Women today are actually far less promiscuous than she actually is; she’s genuinely a very promiscuous women. …You can talk to her about it someday when you die I guess if you don’t go to Hell.” says Lacey.

“What is her deal with sex?” asks a man.

“You know I think you have to think of her like a female James Spader in his roles, especially as Robert California. How about he was almost a dork when it came to sex? …I think she’s sort of a sexual dork to be honest. No, it’s like she’s a nerd when it comes to sex. She-she enjoys it, she savors it but in a sense it’s almost like an objective concept to her more than it really should be. But you know…ummm…but it-it-it-it-it’s more like a she’s like a fan-fan club member of the sax band or something. No, she she sees sex almost like a band. It’s like if sex was a band. If sex was the Grateful Dead she’d be a deadhead. No, she’s a fan maybe not a deadhead but she’s pretty into sex. I don’t know that she stays that way her whole life as far as being promiscuous, but I don’t know that she ever stopped being a fan of sex. I have a feeling she probably died in the late 1990s or 2010s. There are probably very few people like her left even though she could still be alive. There are very few people like her left alive. They smoked cigarettes, they drank, they did drugs, and they ate bad food so at this point, they’re pretty much all just dead.” says Lacey.

“I am confused. I thought that would be me.” says Casi.

“Oh no it’s not- I can see why you might think that but just like Chanel 22 should not really probably be if I’m illegitimate-if Tom is really my biological father-I was wearing Chanel 22 unironically. It doesn’t smell right on other people, it may not even smell exactly right on me, but I don’t think women today really can wear that without there being a hint of irony, and I’m not wearing it ironically at all. You can’t wear it the way that I can Casi. You just can’t, which is part of why it was so obnoxious when you and Mira and who the hell knows who else decided to start wearing it like you were me. You’re not me, you’re just not.

Oh, and by the same token, you’re not that secretary, who is a sexual dork. I know you like vintage stuff, but it doesn’t belong to you the way that it belongs to me. I’m sorry.

Someday, when my kids inherit my perfume, it will legally be their perfume and it will be their perfume because I am there mummy…but it will never probably be possessed by them in the way that I have possessed it and used it and it’s possible that there might be bottles of you know, Frederic Malle or Memo or something that I have in my closet that actually might smell better on my children than-than-than it does on me, but that will still be my bottle of perfume possessed by me in a different way than the older ones…and so they might wear that perfume and say, ‘It’s more my perfume than your’s mom.’ And if it’s still, you know, wearable and then I’ll have to say, ‘Well, that was my bottle, but that fragrance might be more yours than mine.’ Does that make sense?” says Lacey.

“Well no, I mean I get that like skin chemistry changes from one generation to another. And like there’s something to skin-chemistry, and that Luca Turin was probably a charlatan for claiming otherwise- but I can’t handle that. I cannot handle hearing that we’re different and that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t like the fact that you exist separate for me because then I have to be nice to you and I get off on being better than other people.” says Casi.

“Yeah, you know what? If I’m actually Lacey Banks and I’m really that big of a deal historically even the British Royal Family and most rich people used me and Lem psychically to silence your innate hatred for them…because they wanted you to like them…and they didn’t care. They sacrificed my soul and Lem’s soul to Hell because Jack had convinced everyone that I was despicable for being in love with Lem when he was in love with him at the same time. Isn’t that stupid? And how do people get to be so stupid and worthless and shallow? Well that might’ve started a long time ago. That might actually go back to the Fall of Man…but it probably hasn’t been this much of a crisis ever, or for a very long time in history. It’s highly unusual for the whole fucking world to sacrifice just two fucking people to try to make everyone like them. No…that’s psychically, spiritually very unusual.” says Lacey Banks.

“OK so what you’re telling me is just objective fact Lacey? And you think I’m intelligent enough to understand it. So you’re just like, ‘What the fuck does she not understand?’” says Casi.

“Yes exactly. It’s just not a good perfume on you. It’s an objective concept.” says Lem.

“ yeah I know it smells like crap on me and I lie about it and everything. It smells like crap and probably almost everyone who wore it and said that it didn’t and you never did that but we do that all the time we were like oh my gosh I love this stuff it’s amazing and it’s just to get some sort of image in the Perfume community. We’re really not an honest community, we’re all pretty much just almost always 100% full of it when we’re nice we’re not being nice when we’re sweet we’re not really being sweet people take it way too far and start acting like they’re genuinely affected by it and that actually used to piss me off because I don’t think any of those people are really actual friends I don’t I think maybe someone like you could’ve been but I don’t think people today are capable of that and I think I noticed that you were edit through me but I should’ve just thought that’s weird and let it go but no it makes sense you you’re just different but they they’re not like that they’re really not they’re heartless and fake all the time and I have a feeling you’ll be like then how do they appreciate the perfume I I don’t I don’t know. I guess it’s like it’s like they don’t maybe think about it as deeply as you do and so it’s like well I don’t know they kind of lightly and a joke enjoy it like mildly and say I was I I was raised well, I wasn’t raised well though and that way I wasn’t raised well in like a well bred way I was and I like to pretend like I was but I wasn’t. I wasn’t raise well Noel Broadway I lie about that I was a bitch to you I’m sorry I lied I’m sorry, I I was more like raised well and so I think you know what I mean I was raised well and so no it’s like my family knew better so I learned how to appreciate perfume. I have a feeling that you’ve probably never met people like me all that often because you grow up in the north, and so no you don’t know what we’re done you don’t know what we’re like you know it’s like people like the CEOs and other wealthy people who were here before a sort of taught us to be well brat because it just made sense and I think as the Methodist and Baptist and Piscopo aliens and maybe even Catholics occasionally that they were they really probably not Catholic that much I’m sensing from reading you right now as I’m talking to you they really did teach us right from wrong and how to be honorable but then it wasn’t like a well bred thing in the south it was more just like a southern white thing and so I don’t have to be well bred to know what you know in some ways and actually think you do that from your family somehow and then you just have been trying to explain to me for like 10 years Casi I’m better than you, but it’s not like I’m saying you don’t know anything and you’re right you might not be better than me in heaven, of course, but that might also be part of our confusion. You have more of a Piscopo alien, or Catholic way of seeing it, which could actually be scientifically more accurate, when I’m not being godly and I wasn’t being godly, I was being a bitch, so no I was being a bitch and I was being white trash to you. Sorry I guess but no like you know and I know to like you know I think I betrayed you and I’m sorry I betrayed you. I betrayed you I did I betrayed you.” says Casi.

“ you did see here’s the problem I’m not racist, but I’m not an idiot. Actually those two things could be combined very easily. So I saw some Black people be bitches to you, but I knew you deserved it but then I was expecting you to know that as your acquaintance as you’re sort of a friend not like actual friend, but like sort of that you I wasn’t I did not have your back, I just couldn’t support your racism.” says Lacey.

“ yeah OK you know I was gonna yell at you and I realizing that that’s stupid were we really the only two people in the perfume community? Who had any fucking clue what was going on?” asks Casi.

“ to some degree yes, which is why I kept following you.” says Lacey.

“Right because in The Civil War, if you’re not illegitimate, or even if it’s just legally, we’re on the same side and you might’ve been my commanding officer. I have a feeling your great great grandfather Seay was a general in the confederate army.” says Casi.

“ yes exactly it’s like what you said you’re not well-bred but you do understand some of the same things that I do.” says Lacey.

“ so when you were the cheap stuff from the past or even from the 1990s, you actually were enjoying it is that real because I would do that but I would be considered pretentious or am poor.” says Casi.

“Ahh…that’s ridiculous. Those people are hypersensitive to social class probably because they’re bourgeois nitwits.” says Lacey.

“ so it’s not pretentious because it’s no different than an expensive bottle of perfume, for me.” says Casi.

“ yeah when I used to read your reviews of stuff, I thought they were actually fairly insightful and if that’s not something that I would say to most people.” says Lacey.

“ what part of at least is that we’re just white like at what we’re white but I don’t think it’s just that anymore. I really think that we’re different I was raised in the south by people who raised me well I’m not an idiot all the time and no I could probably wear lots of cheaper perfume because I know what’s good and what’s worthless and I know the good stuff from the bad stuff.” says Casi.

“Oh like you know the good drugs from the bad drugs in the trailer park?” says Lacey, sarcastically.

“ oh yes, that’s exactly right and no we know that stuff we know that shit it’s sad so that’s like a skill that’s like an actual skill that white people have that became tragic and perverse in America.” says Casi.

“ do you want to know something really sad before the Kennedy administration white trash people like us weren’t so fucked up because we listen to people like her as ‘hard-hearted and harsh’ as she is.” says a dead white woman.

“ I think it’s funny how I am an Aries and so is your twin flame. and you know what I mean by that because what the hell is that? It’s creepy as fuck and no I’m a Christian or I hope I am but but that’s creepy as fuck is it not isn’t that creepy?” says Casi.

“ oh, no, I don’t think that’s likely a coincidence. I just haven’t quite figured out how astrology is actually perceived by by God.” says God.

“ what the fuck happened then?” asks Casi.

“ to be honest a day or two ago I would’ve said it was my first made, and I’m still somewhat convinced that that’s what it is. The Kennedys told her to steal my China and it really is probably worth a hell of a lot more than what you pay for it today that said that I had was I paid $200 for it but it’s probably worth more like $2000. The people have the valued antiques by making new shit and now people are buying crap at thrift stores. That really is actual objective crap but because it’s old they don’t know any better. But the thing is 2000s not that much but it’s not a small amount of money come on you know what I’m talking about just objectively a $2000 set of set of China is not a cheap amount of of China one thing I could never understand about you is how you don’t get that, I do know the value of things Casi your mothers ring sweetie was a complete fucking shit and so is yours. There are a lot of diamonds in the world stores like Kate jeweler dude they do take advantage of that and they take advantage of people and you should know better than that. I have excellent taste I know what’s really expensive for boats not and it’s probably far superior to yours. You were very uppity and conceited around me, that being said it was interesting talking to you. I’m not attracted to women, but it is creepy Casi and that’s not because I’m suddenly becoming sexual towards you. It’s just a woman to woman if you’re a woman at all it’s creepy because it’s sort of like you were the worst possible person I could talk to in the perfume community and yet in a way it was delightful talking to you because you understood things about perfume. So basically what happened arm? Yeah I don’t know that first made was horrible. I would hope that you would’ve hated her for your own reasons and not not really hated her you know, but like not liked her I feel like she said it’s up she said you and I up to both look like idiots but actually Casi, and if you wanna know more about who she is, hopefully I can talk to you and we can talk about it.” says Lacey.

“ you know I just picture of someday smoking because I know you’re gonna be a smoker when you die because it won’t be deadly or evil anymore and I just hope picture I sit around smoking and just talking about what the fuck happened while we were alive that being said I know I’m not quite like you but I think I could talk to Joanne and smoke and try to figure what the Hells going on with shit. Honestly you bought the $2000 set of China and it pisses people off.” says Casi.

“ but I had a right to buy whatever the hell I wanted to buy in this country, correct?” asks Lacey.

“ why? So it feels too controlling to you to have to buy the right set of china?” asks Lacey.

“Yes! No, it just it feels like I’m being totally controlled and I refuse to do it.” says Lacey.

“And you wear the wrong stuff to confuse people at times but then on the down low not sexually but on the down low to me you’re just like, ‘What the fuck? It’s good perfume!’” says Casi.

“ basically yes. No, it’s not sexual. I just it’s it’s what I fervently feel. It’s good perfume. I think it’s snobby in a very trashy way to not wear good perfume and you might be totally evil-hearted and disgusting but at the same time I-I was more concerned that you just didn’t know what I was doing at all.” says Casi.

“I might’ve been more convoluted in that or I don’t know I may not have known. I’m sorry.” says Casi.

“ I hope you’re not more convoluted because it’s hard chasing you around mentally to figure out what the hell you’re doing. That being said wow, I’m surprised as much as you were raise well that they didn’t tell you that that the cheap stuff really actually is good at times but that makes sense with the ring they and see this is what got to me about you and I lost it for some reason how do you not know that about perfume and then you do the wrong thing with jewelry?” says Lacey.

“ we are not really experienced with perfume or jewelry in my family.” says Casi.

“ you didn’t you didn’t have any perfume in your family at all from like a drugstore even. I mean they used to sell some really decent cheap perfume.” says Lacey.

“ oh well and then that’s where maybe oh my families difference of hell you’re right they probably did occasionally sell some cheap perfume somewhere that they could’ve purchased for like what how much?” asks Casi.

“ I would say with inflation they probably could’ve purchased a decent bottle of perfume for $15 and it would’ve been a stretch. I know it would’ve been a stretch but I have a feeling for Christmas or birthdays or just if she saved for it every once in a while, your grandmother could’ve bought a decent bottle of perfume.” says Lacey.

“ no she did you’re right she did I’m lying she did she did but she had enough money that she would actually not buy the cheap perfume cost to her that would’ve been shameful. It’s like that’s where our poor neighbors we don’t buy that stuff I think we were a little snobby so she would’ve purchased probably a bottle of Chanel number five but like one bottle so no yeah my grandmother had Chanel number five which is part of why I was confused by you and probably not because I feel like you somehow know this and that’s why you got angry because no I am snubbing my neighbors. OK I’m a bitch to them Lacey and yeah I use my one bottle if she’s not her five to be a total fucking asshole to people and you just decided to be I don’t know the Holy Spirit or something coming around telling me that I had to be nice to everybody. Are you gonna do white take your goods and go home well I think that’s basically what happened and you know what that’s why we’re a little trashy, and it’s tragic, because in the past we might’ve said, we might’ve humbled ourselves and looked at you and just walked off because it would’ve been too embarrassing to say anything but nowadays were so fucked up that I just say fuck you bitch and start shooting.” says Casi.

“ i’m not who you think I am and I might’ve been testing things and studying you more than I even consciously realize I am not a Kennedy. My father is Tom Banks, and I actually do care about poor white people, but it is in a very different way than they do, so it actually terrifies me to see this to see the state of wise white society. Eminem is the prime example it’s like he made it out of the trailer park, but then he still just does drugs by shooting hamsters up his ass hole which is animal cruelty I worry about him and the drugs but I’m really more worried about the hamster than anything, and that sounds silly sweetie but it’s not trust me it’s not and that’s what scares me is that your people have involved kids or maybe not as much as hamsters which is good but you involve kids you involve hamsters you involve dogs and that’s why yesterday I lost it and just decided to have the illuminati start sleeping with but it’s like well. Hey you wanna do it all then do it all bitch just go fuck mud.” says Lacey.

“ what happened to us?” asks Casi’s mom.

“ hey do you wanna know the real answer it is not it’s not pretty it’s fucking ugly as hell. Well maybe not as hell but it’s pretty fucking ugly. Do you wanna know the answer or not?” asks Lacey.

“ oh, well, there’s a reason Casi’s racist.” says Casi’s mom.

“ yeah it’s not like that necessarily I mean I’m investigating it but I kind of doubt that’s what’s going on and all the way to treats me it’s more that I think it was a Civil War. I know this is where I turn into a renegade and just become a Scottish aristocrat, whether it’s insanity or who I actually am because I just I can’t I cannot fucking handle this shit show and that is part of the reason Putin is involved because I cannot fucking handle that shit show. Do you know what I’m talking about?” says Lacey.

“ yes yes I do because essentially what you’re saying is that your daddy‘s family is from the north the banks your mamas family is from Norway your grandma‘s family is from New York but then you were raised by the south the old money south and so you think what the hell do they fucking expect of a human?” says Casi’s mom.

“ yes, that is what I’m thinking but it’s worse it is deeper because from a political and military perspective, the country is totally unfeasible.” says Lacey.

“ OK so yeah because you’re a wheat old money and OK when you’ll probably deer why did they talk to you? Why did that? Why the hell did those little white niggers talk to you?“ asks Casi’s mom.

“ i’ve been trying to figure that out myself.” says Jeffrey Epstein.

apparently Jack’s residual energy that has descended into Hell went on a flight mission today. He literally got all suited up and went into like fighter planes American fighter planes in the afterlife and practice maneuverings but then he just disappeared disappeared right after that never to be seen again because it was just residual energy. It’s not actually Jack.

“ I was concerned when I saw that not as much for Jack because it’s just residual energy. That’s not Jack but there are some people who are really lowly in purgatory if it’s purgatory him who maybe got attached to him today and didn’t realize that that wasn’t really him and they’ll never see him again that was just his residual energy and they did a lot of intense training planning for the future, and if that will ever happen because it was really just residual energy.” says J. Epstein.

“ so some jerks in purgatory are being taught a lesson. I have a feeling those men might have deserved it. Umm…so be careful. Because maybe it was a mistake, but maybe they deserved it, best case scenario.” says a woman.

“ so basically it was the Civil War how was it the Civil War that cause what’s happening now?” asks Casi.

“ oh, what’s why am a basically of the Civil War decimated the south it really decimated the south and it was over 100 years ago but the south was trying to be a different country so basically the north decimated the south and because it was a Civil War, and in this case, the only separation was just a matter of inches, and some cases between the north and the south the north was able to profoundly decimate the south I mean they really decimated it. It was an exquisite verified area of the world, and then the north came and totally demolished it. I mean they really demolished it. No it’s like you know it looks like the south happened what in 26 A.D. or something it didn’t 100 years ago one at 100 and I’m sorry, but OK fine and that’s where I may be a little weird in my head, it wasn’t 100 years 150 years ago fine whatever even 200 years ago it’s still possible that because that area was so decimated it might not have recovered so basically the north decimated the south never bothered to rebuild it really the south couldn’t really rebuild itself, because it self had been destroyed And then there you have it that’s it it’s just in my estimation it’s just a byproduct of the south never having really recovered from the Civil War.” says Lacey.

“So you got so angry on our behalf that you just decided fuck it just let Putin run the whole thing.” says Casi.

“ yes as a Scottish aristocrat in a sense.” says Lacey.

“ there’s no way it was a made that that that that that was just you.” says Casi.

“Yes. Possibly.” says Lacey.

“ Lacey we can’t come rescue you I’m sorry.” says Russia.

“No, I know-I know that I-I just-it’s nice to know that you care.” says Lacey.

“ well, if I’m reincarnated I was shot but they shot our whole family together and you’re more worried that that separate you.” says Tsar Putin.

“ oh absolutely!” says Lem. “but I am doing my absolute best to protect them. I really am.”

“ hey it’s funny how American ever seems to realize that this could be personal to me if I’m a Romanov reincarnated.” says Tsar Putin.

“it’s funny how if I’m dead and you know whether or not I am that they don’t realize that possibility.” says Zelensky.

“ you’ll fend for yourself, so I’m sure of that.” says Tsar Putin.

“ oh, absolutely I have instructed my daughter on how to defend herself using knives and my son.” says Lacey.

“ that’s wise.” says a Russian oligarch.

“Thank you.” says Lem.

“Are you well?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” says Tsar Putin.

“Good!” says Lacey.

“You know…” says King of England.