The Kennedys Are Secretly Jewish

Jack Kennedy was a Jewish con-artist.

Yup.

“Bill Gates did a DNA test of Bobby Kennedy Junior. Iran insisted.” says Chris, in terror.

“How?” asks Lem, laughing.

In Ear Park by Department of Eagles plays.

“It’s distant. But it still matters.” says the CIA.

“It’s mostly on Joe Kennedy Senior’s side.” say the Iranians.

“But it’s still informing them!?!?” asks Hungry, in shock.

“Yes.” says the CIA.

“They were just vile Jews hiding out as Irish Catholics.” says Syria.

“But not all Jews are bad.” says Lacey.

“We know! …It’s those…type.” says Iran.

“But we’re not- We’re Ashkenazi!” says Harriet Schiebel.

Ms. Jackson by Outkast plays.

“Yes! But…it’s not actually Ashkenazi. Or Shephardic. …It’s ironically often a DNA…trend…found only in the DNA of Jewish criminals of the worst sort. It’s not…Jewish necessarily. But it’s…very Jewish in how it manifests. You can find similar things genetically in every race. But…they have the Jewish problem.” says the CIA.

“We’re dirty Jews!?!” asks JFK in shock.

“Yes.” says Harold Loeb.

“What!? I’m cursed.” says Jack.

“You’re…Jewish. You’re the worst part of the Jewish community.” says Lem.

“But they’re Irish!” says Nancy, confused.

“Yes. And that’s important too.” says the CIA. “But…they’re so hateful to the Jews. They always have been. Even though they intermarry. …So…we find it fascinating.”

“But we were an Irish Catholic family!” says Joe.

Later.

“You were and you weren’t at the same time.” says a living white woman.

“