“We Chose Lem” by the Evil Illuminati

without you by Isabel LaRosa plays.

We chose Lem.

Why?

Because he’s hottie.

Umm…and he wins.

“That’s not the question.” says Scott in despair.

They assume he’s joking.

“Is that it?!? That’s your only real reply?” asks Louis.

“No. Lacey is a real guy’s girl.” says Great Britain.

“No. Women hate her.” says Lem.

“Ouch!” say the women, pulling out their daggers.

“Okay. Why do you hate Lacey?” asks a pedophile.

Silence.

“Thanks for trying.” says Lacey.

“So Lacey is damned?” asks a smug man.

“Oh! Because she’s able to receive genuine agape love from a pedophile?” asks Lacey about herself.

“Apparently.” says Jimmy Fallon, rolling his eyes.

“So stupid!” says Lem. “She’s not exactly like them, even if they’re the only people in the room who can apparently care.”

“We aren’t hurting kids.” they say. “Tonight.”

“So…you all ruined Lacey’s mineral rights…in effect not…but in deed. So…you could potentially have her safe…but…not able to dismantle the Nesheim oil.” says a reader.

“But you contacted them!” says a reader to Lacey.

“No, that’s not true. That’s not remotely true. Do you read or do you just fart out of your face?” asks Lem.

“Oh my God. I’m gonna impersonate you Lacey!” say a herd of haters.

“I’m not impressed.” says Lacey.

“I’m not either.” says Lem.