Back Rubs

Blue Boy by Mac DeMarco plays.

“Why was I rubbing Elsie’s back? Because I’m a pushover.” says Louis.

“No. It’s because you love me.” says Elsie.

Louis quivers in fear. Licks his lips.

She dances sexy. It’s 1956.

“Elsie. You should be nicer to him!” says a woman pleadingly and condescendingly.

She stands and stares at Louis like they’re crazy. Tilts and slumps forward.

Queen Mary of Scotland laughs.

“This isn’t good.” says Matthew Nesheim.

And if Lem wasn’t being…alive…Louis would take that moment and eye Lacey with intense desire. Searing fire into her soul. Demanding politely more than asking.

And as Lacey hesitates…Elsie begins chattering on and on about something inane and annoying. As if by merely flapping her jaws she can arouse profound love and desire in Louis. She can’t.

“Oh Elsie. You’re so manipulative!” says her plump friend.

Elsie laughs and then cries.

Lacey blinks and watches. Like Mary Maceachran in Gosford Park.

Sunday by DJ Day plays.

Louis, irate, marches off in a huff.

Nostrand by Ratatat plays.

Elsie believes she’s won. She floats on air and gloats like she’s revealing the glory of Christ.

Lacey feels sorry for her.

Lacey gets exhausted.

Lacey gets up and walks off.

Elsie looks around to try to find Lacey and she can’t find her. She panics. She completely panics.

Elsie shuffles her feet. “Where do you suppose that bitch went?”

“Who!? Lacey!? Oh honey…she’s gone to the bathroom or something.” says the woman.

Elsie laughs at Lacey.

Lacey, meanwhile, is gone. Completely gone.

Will they ever see her again? …Probably not. Not before Heaven? Purgatory?

“There are no redoes with Lacey. Ever.” says Joe Kennedy Senior. “Her heart is like time and space. She forgives. She heals. But she’s not going back.”

“So…there’s no redo?” asks Harold.

Brett Ashley shakes her skinny ass.

“Never!!” says Lem. “Ever.”

“Are you the same way?” asks Louis.

“Yes!!” says Lem.

“That is not how we remember you being lab at all.” say the Kennedys.

“ why not because I have a very strong suspicion, studying having the CIA and reading about him that this is him. I’ve read the David Pitts book and actually there are weird things that she doesn’t know that don’t really make sense if he was gay.

But the fact that he didn’t like seem that sad at Jack’s wedding? That one was a clincher for me. It was pretty convincing to Lacey too…although not as much as it is to some people believe it or not she’s not that easy to convince. Umm…but he really genuinely does seem far more to be the person that he is with her than any other take I’ve ever had presented to me of him in any book or analysis by anyone who claims to have known him. And what I mean by that is that when I have compiled them all together as a whole in my head, they could easily lead themselves to being who he seems to be as this ghost that’s interacting with her. His mannerisms are on point. His personality is on point. I really don’t think that you’ve been respectful to them especially to her…and it’s actually kind of despair inducing to me how stupid people are being in our country. Sincerely.” says the CIA.

“So in your CIA, psychological expertise profiling him…he seems to be the person that she’s been sleeping with regularly for three years?” asks a middle class reader.

“Yeah, exactly. Isn’t that sad? Because I’m not attached to it, you’re not attached to it and we can see objectively how weird it is that these people in the Illuminati- The CIA has a leg in the Illuminati we have a foot in Illuminati but we’re not the same thing and no to us it’s just-it’s funny and then it’s depressing and it’s horrific.“ says the CIA.

“I think I’m gonna go take my wife for a shower because she stinks because she’s been sitting in writing all day and you just killed her cousin by getting him to commit suicide so unless if he wants to tell us what he went through in his head as he died I think we’re done for the night.” says Lem Billings.

“If I tell people I’m afraid our family reading this blog is going to think that she’s evil.” says Matthew.

“Forget that.

I am happy talking on this blog in the future so let’s just say I’m gonna see you again someday in Heaven. I just want to know where you are so I can kind of be happy knowing that you’re not suffering anymore and I’d actually like to know what it is that happened in your head.” says his mom.

“Yeah, what did they tell you soldier? I want to know.” says his cousin.

“It’s hard for him to talk about. It might take a second.” says Johnny Anderson.

“I am a Native American who haunts the Nesheim farm. I’ve been there since the 1800s.

Hey Lacey!

I think she’s talked with us at least once?

So…her talking to the dead when you started attacking her in Seattle might’ve been my idea because I’m not in Hell and I knew God would be merciful to her given the situation. I just wanted to say that.” says a dead Native American in North Dakota.

“I when I first came back from Iraq I wanted to die.” says Johnny on behalf of Matthew.

“But God kept me from wanting to just pull the trigger and actually kill myself.” says Gunhild on his behalf.

“ I saw a lot of things that were terrifying and to someone like Lacey I just I have to say this because it’s been very eye-opening believe it or not just someone like Lacey it’s not scary for someone like her father it’s not scary to someone like me. It was scary after my grandfather died, I and a lot of my other cousins jumped off a bridge. It was a very high bridge and there was like a $6000 fine at the time if you jumped off and they caught you and no one caught us. We were all fine but Lacey refused to jump because she couldn’t swim that well, but most of she was worried that she totally ruined the landing, and somehow cracker neck or break her head or something and I don’t think that was stupid. That is not her strength. That is not something she knows how to do and that’s fine I could do that, and it was surprising to me to find out that I couldn’t handle a lot of other stuff that I saw that like I said would not scare her at all and I’ve been analyzing why she couldn’t jump off the bridge because there’s something about her body that’s just not made for that kind of impact which is interesting she can dance really well and she’s very good at a lot of things that women would’ve done in the house and like the 50s but no jumping off of something like that it’s just would not be safe for her but she understands in a very almost medical way what blood is and what death is and what evil is I was an off of what I saw in a rock and it was it was it was totally overwhelming but I think what scared me the most when I came home and I realized how weird everything is compared to the world outside of the US. It’s so strange and it’s very hard to readjust in your head, because everything is so different than what you thought it was him I have a feeling in the 1940s when my grandpa came back that they had an easier time adjusting. My grandpa had a hard time adjusting but it was easier than it is now because people were less evil people were less evil and families were stronger, and it was just easier to cope because you felt like you were really living for something there’s a purpose for everything.

I said that’s funny because you realize that I am that a family’s matter but you were that there could be something wrong with you. And I always have worried that I was sort of too soft kind of you know just not a good person not not a good man kind of weak person in my own way.

And I think I thought my family would be better off if I was dead, that’s what was going through my head was that I was thinking that my kids would be better off. My wife would be better off. My family would be better off without me you know cause I was sort of holding them back. I am holding my wife back from finding a better husband out of loyalty to me and holding my kids back from bonding with him if she could find someone stuff like that so if it sounds stupid and crazy in some Barrison to tell people it’s like what I’m just a loser you know and I’m wasting everyone’s time and I’m not making enough money for my family and I am a failure at writing I mean my books are good I guess but they’re not but I had envisioned and I think I thought this is just this is just you know not worth it.” says Matthew.

“ so now that your dad where are you?” asks the non-evil Illuminati.

“ it’s a there’s a lot to discuss where am I am I’m at the farm I’m sitting in the kitchen. I’m at the table with Mark and Johnny and Gunhild in Hills, and someone that I knew who died the war who is a good friend of mine I am you know I always knew that. I see some of my friends someday again, and it’s nice to see them but I am it’s been sad seeing them to because I’m dead and mom and dad aren’t and my siblings aren’t and I don’t even wanna talk about my kids that’s just too awful.” says Matthew.

“So what do you think of Nils?” asks someone.

“ oh, all right, I get along with him. He’s actually a lot stronger than people said he was. He’s not a scary man but he has a temper. He’s a lot tougher than people thought to tell us. I think everyone thought he was the people in my generation which is Lacey‘s generation thought he was just a sweet older man who sat around singing songs with time, he’s not he’s a very tough person. I’m a little scared of them at times but you know he has my great grandpa so.” says Matthew.

“ I think part of the reason we’re being allowed to talk to you is because you were killed in a way that is just unfathomable.” says his mom.

“ no I think it’s very Shakespearean what’s happening on this blog right now.” says England.

“ it is reminds me of hamlet, sort of thank you.” says Lacey.

“ and she needed to say that that was it was getting to be a bit overwhelming to her that that because she might not she really she literally might not be one of us and she feels very excluded right now from the family and so no they needed to be said thank you.” says Johnny Anderson.

“So you’re a good time huh so who is there?“ asks Matthew’s mom.

“ and I’m here OK!?” says Mark.

“ so am I!” says Gaynelle.

“ it’s a lot of nice times it’s just it’s a lot of Nesheims it’s it’s Nels and grandma Greg yeah and Matthew Bruce, Peter, Peter Kathleen and my mom and dad. There’s a lot of us here right now because it was recent that Matthew died so we’re just kind of sitting around talking looking through old old photo albums, but we have them here too. It’s you know it’s Seay will live in Christ, so no it’s he lets you still experience things that were beautiful that you could redeem so like laughs up those redeemable photo albums worth if there’s no if it’s of God and we’re not wanting to separate ourselves from him so so we’re enjoying some innocent, good stuff and having a fun time and I am it’s really lovely to just sit around and chat. I have to be honest Matthew is able to be more honest with us and we can’t do anything about it and that’s good. It’s very healing in a way that you can experience until you’re with God and that’s the thing that’s where Lacey struggles sometimes with this whole situation, suicide is not the answer but then that’s where it’s like she just wants to in the whole world because she thinks why is anyone suffering anymore this world is too evil but she’s not God and she knows that and she’s dealing with it but I think that’s been challenging to see a because it’s like well you know you can if you start taking apart families and taking one person and not another it’s not safe and it’s just pure misery so then she thinks capricious and everything blow up the center of the Earth. If I could just get everyone saved, she thinks I could just get everyone to worship Christ I could just blow up the Earth.” says Mark Nesheim.

“ oh yeah you know what though you guys are laughing at her and the sad truth is why don’t you guys do it yourselves I would like to, but I can’t yet I would love to blow up the Earth so let’s hear a little bit more about how Matthew decided to die or I think we’re going to take it off because to be honest this is the sort of bowling at least experience from them when she was growing up and they might not have meant to be as rude and violent as they’re being but they’re going to be offensive and she’s putting up with it because she cares about them but it’s going to be a bit much so I think we need to hear a little more from Matthew if he wants to share and then I think we’re going to leave.” says Lem.

“ I I just couldn’t get myself out of the headspace of thinking that I just was better off with God. Sorry..” says Matthew.

“ what did they do to you specifically though?” says Lacey.

“ they pestered me all day every day these people do actually have billions of dollars and they are idiotic because they don’t wanna except that my family has as much oil as we do. They try to make us in poor they try to make us seem a lot less than we are because they just can’t fathom it and then if you tell them that they can’t handle hearing that either and so they decided it was smart to kill me and Lacey’s not really being as far-fetched as you might think if she’s being far-fetched at all and how she’s describing what they do.

I mean it’s witchcraft and it’s gruesome witchcraft, so what would you expect?

Which, by the way, as a rider is one thing that irritates me from my perspective to about Louis how do you not see it? Your wife is really annoying because she doesn’t get how tortured you are by stuff and then it’s like everyone else around you does and they take your side But then I wonder if they stop after a while because you just keep citing with her and they lose patience with you.

OhI would not have killed myself though if they had been pestering me if it’s if this blog is real and if they had been pestering me every day for hours every day in my subconscious, they talk to your subconscious they tell you things it’s like they’re like they use demons to communicate And they talk to your subconscious using demons so they’re able to control people and people who are like Lacey hear those things schizophrenic sometimes do too. I think my grandfather would have as well. I think Jeanette might have. I think Nelson might have, but Lacey is a lot different. She’s she hears a lot. I mean she hears me like I’m practically sitting right here talking to her, so they have a very hard time using anything to control her because she practically sees the demons that they’re trying to use to control her and then with her parents experiences in the supernatural and the charismatic movement that she got like a cult training. they’re very clever humans are very clever, but she keeps every day she gives everything over to Christ and just fights every day she fights every day she’s been fighting every day for eight years every day every day tirelessly for eight years, she’s been fighting at it perfectly honest with you, she could probably keep doing this if she didn’t get tired for like over 100 years.

I don’t know if you guys realize that the people you had like hundred your wars in the past and she’s like that OK take 100 years and maybe you could win maybe 40 years but I don’t know I wouldn’t bet on it. You’re you’re talking to Lacey Banks and she loves fighting. OK that that is fun for her. And unfortunately you attacked her by fighting her which honestly is the only way I mean you can’t you could’ve seduce her you can’t she’s not touchable she’s probably a saint but but you’re fighting with her I guess so it’s Lacey Banks versus the illuminati and they’re losing Which is funny but that’s because she has God she’s fighting with God. She literally gives everything over to him so it’s like God versus illuminati through Lacey banks and it’s just awful because here she is the 40 old woman with two small children and a husband, who is somewhat autistic Who she’s very close to but that’s her support system for the most part and God that’s also part of the reason why she’s able to talk to us partially because she just refuses to stop fighting and he understands her and so she is not going to sit down and she’s not a bad I mean she’s really not. She’s a lesbian she’s not a man which is something that I don’t think people in America understand about gender or history.

Are you a? But no I am I am not. I am not. I was never into drugs. I didn’t really drink that much and so I can see some people in my family are probably going to think. How did these demons get an N Rd. to well the rest of my life There a sin in my life and they got it in rolled through seven but um it wasn’t just that it’s really what I’m saying. Her brain really is that different and it really it really actually is easier than I think people might think to talk to us that they’re the illuminati that’s part of how they control people, they talk to their subconscious and if you read the spark, you don’t take it seriously but just remember that my grandfather was at and he’s not he’s not surprised he might’ve guessed at they’re existence before he died.

Because I think he thought, how are people talking to each other so much if there’s an illuminati, he figured out that he figured out that people were talking to each other and he couldn’t figure out how because they’re making deals far too quickly he would my grandfather was wealthy he was a dentist he was in World War II. He was a fighter pilot and he was very rich but he did a lot of investing in cattle and he couldn’t figure out how the US government was making deals to better the cattle industry so quickly because he studied it. He was a genius in his own way And I think it FFFFFF what she’s hearing is cracked cracked. He realized that they were having conversations somewhere outside of the norm nowadays you might just say people were texting each other or something but back then it didn’t make as much sense because it’s like they had telephones they had long-distance travel, and they had letters, and that was it And so he thought how are they communicating so quickly because you can’t get to the phone that quickly you can’t get to the fact there are phones everywhere or you can’t get to the can’t get there. How are they getting this done so quickly because he did he fight in World War II. He was buried and he was decorated. He was very heroic and so he surmise that there could be something happening that was demonic and a cultish and supernatural so if there is an illuminati by grandfather gust at it, I think Lacey would’ve known subconsciously, but that’s different. I wouldn’t have guessed at it or what I I might have subconsciously slightly but I would necessarily have taken it all that seriously and even the way that Lacey does and so it’s like well you know who cares sort of it doesn’t seem like it’s that serious. I wouldn’t even think about it but know they if this blog is accurate, they can talk to your mind and they can kind of bully you and control you And it’s scary but that’s for some people who have mental illnesses probably need to you know let go because of him going insane is terrifying but God is God and he never lets go even if it doesn’t seem like it or that being said what you guys did to Lacey at the very beginning of an your harassing her was a possibly really creepy.” says Matthew.

“ no what what? What? What? What oh, if anyone in our family reads this blog Matthew they’re going to suspect this could be true, but they won’t be convinced of it but if this is true, it’s a very risky thing for Lacey to be doing writing this because I don’t think she want to hurt us, but if it’s true how how do we help you!?” asks his mom.

“ well, Catholics would suggest that you pray to God to that he will give me grace if there’s purgatory, I would be in purgatory if I if there’s purgatory, I’m in purgatory and I’m headed to heaven um heard of him just pray that I have grace for the mistake that I made because that’s one of my biggest worries is that my sons I just I worry for my sons because I love them a lot and I regret I don’t. I’m sorry I feel bad that I lost my mind yeah.” says Matthew.

“ and born again Christians would suggest that you pray for yourselves and believe he’s a demon.” says Mary Matlin.

“ he’s praying for us though if he’s in purgatory if this is him he’s praying for us.” says Lacey.

L Karen , how did you and Lacey both end up married to men who are somewhat autistic?” asks Ron.

“ because I seemed autistic. I think I think I am I think both Karen and Lacey got it in their head that a loving man was very distant at times and actually it works because Lacey and Mark are good friends and Karen and her husband have a pretty good marriage.” says Ray Craft.

“ no I’m not autistic and neither is Lacey but-“ says Karen.

“ and this is why we do it sometimes OK because sometimes you can talk to people subconscious and it’s not necessarily used for evil. Lacey struggles with the morality of it herself. That being said that they’ve taken that ability that we have whether it’s good or evil and they’re using it for evil and illuminati right now to try to destroy her family and they’ve been at it for years which is why we wonder sometimes if they’re just sacrificing people in her family randomly because they’re just so pissed off at them for having the oil who would that be the Democrats it’s not really blasé if it’s Republicans it doesn’t even matter anyway, the whole country is fucked, but it’s possibly the Democrats why are they doing it? I think it probably would be some sort of greed on their part and a spiritual immaturity and not realizing that just because you guys are upper class old money, humble, not peasant, white people that they can’t just pick on you you could you guys I think seem too good to be true but as much as you have flaws, you’re really not too good to be true and they just can’t handle that if it if it’s of anyone I’m gonna say it if anyone sacrificing them it’s the Democrats at it it might not be quite that simple so don’t just assume that Republicans are your best friends but it’s like I said, if it’s Republicans, who cares anyway, right the whole country is in trouble. Lacey knows that I don’t care what you say. I got so sick of trying to get along with the other side but it’s probably it’s probably Democrats OK it’s probably the Democrats not all of them necessarily are on board with it, but it might not even be intentional. They might just be picking on you guys because I don’t even know you’re too Christian or something and most of the people in this family in the Nesheim family are born-again Christians. There’s a few Lutherans a few people who are maybe a little New Age agnostic some of one or two have been into witchcraft to be honest which could be part of their problem, but Lacey hesitates to say that him and honestly I’m not sure I have a feeling that almost all of them might just be Christians and God size is paying up depending on where their hearts are so be careful because that’s a huge red flag Jonah if you’re reading this blog yeah if you wanna while he reads this blog because he thought Lacey was cute and she kept commenting on stuff um they’re Christians Jonah there your spiritual covering as leaders in this country you should’ve just shit in Lacey’s face like a bitch.” says Mary Matlin.

“ Jonah did you watch any of the movies made by the Nesheims?” asks the CIA.

“ a lot of Christians probably have.” says one of his friends.

“ yeah so there’s that they’re really into Christian films.” says the CIA

“ oh, don’t worry don’t worry Matthew Lacey’s not your cousin if she creeps you up so much she’s not your cousin but she’s not your biological cousin so if she’s too scary don’t worry if she was just adopted but she is your cousin so I was like she’s not your cousin, but but she was adopted somewhat so don’t don’t get too scared.” says Lem.

“ what’s so scary about Lacey” asks Dennis.

“ hey first of all did you ever see the show Arrested Development?” says Matthew. “ she’s not my cousin and so then maybe was adopted and so then I look at her and I think she’s not my cousin. Lacey is very beautiful. I’m sorry you guys she’s extremely beautiful and she’s not really our cousin and it’s creepy. It’s very creepy.

It’s it’s it’s just creepy but but she is our cousin that so it’s just sort of strange him and that’s just hard to handle psychologically because a Nesheims like to keep things upbeat and light and we don’t like getting too grim and that way so it’s just creepy. That’s creepy, no I really should regret dying. I was not ready for this, so I’m sorry I am. I am very sorry and I am the only thing I would say is if I was a child being held hostage or if I had a horrible situation where I was old you know it might be nice to die to be honest there are times when death is what God wants but right now it was not my time to die so it’s Difficult being dead and if my family reads this I’m incredibly sorry and I’m sorry for not supposed to be reading that but if God’s allowing it then I’m sorry I’m very sorry.” says Matthew Nesheim.

“ why was a Nesheims reading past the adult content warning because they’re not stupid and they see that and then they scroll through to see if there’s any names that are mentioned that they should be reading. I hear my daughter crying right now I don’t like it for those. If you’re reading this blog I’m dead I’m gonna Billings. You’re alive and I’m alive in Christ worship Christ, and that’s all I’m gonna say for the rest the night.” says Lem Billings.

“ I need to say that if there’s reincarnation if I seem British and loves British, it would have to be in the Bible and it would have to be according to the word of God otherwise lemon I have just become very British because we are British origin in some health and our trauma, we became very British be careful with reincarnation, because if there is reincarnation in the Bible, it doesn’t help to pretend like there isn’t and if there isn’t, then it doesn’t help to pretend that there is or does it if you were being held hostage by people who believed it and you’re trying to reason with them you might have to start talking about it that also being said you can’t take it past that point, unless if you can prove that it’s in the Bible, be very careful, accusing me of being the antichrist or accusing me of mixing religions because if that’s what I’m doing that we horrifying to me and you have to respect that what I say is what I fucking mean.” suddenly yells Lacey Banks at the end.

Faded by HOMESHAKE from Midnight Snack plays. And Harold…takes a spoon prepared for battle with a pedophilic monster who he’d like to kill with a spoon.