“Lacey, why did you sleep with Elliott?” asks Lem, as a ghost in 2022, if he’d been allowed.
Lacey laughs then turns serious. “I don’t know.” she says with fear.
Edna by King Oliver plays.
“I don’t think you should sleep with him or anyone but me ever again.” says Lem, calmly.
“Oh really? Why?” says Lacey Banks.
“That’s not our thing.” says Lem.
“Can I be with you?” says Lacey sweetly, sitting down at a table across from him.
“You are with me!” says Lem.
“Oh. Since when?” says Lacey, befuddled.
“Since I first saw you.” says Lem.
“Oh!” says Lacey, shocked.
“I haven’t been able to tell you that.” says Lem.
“Then how was I supposed to know!?” says Lacey, in sadness.
“I’m sorry.” says Lem.
“I wish you had more empathy.” She thinks. “If you don’t. …I just didn’t feel welcome. And I had some concerns.”
“So it all seemed like a sham.” says Lem.
Lacey goes silent.
“Listen…I’m still being silenced. …You shouldn’t have slept with them.” says Lem.
“Why?” asks Lacey.
“Because that’s not what I want.” says Lem.
“Yeah right!” says Lacey, hurt.
“Rubbish!” says Lem.
“It isn’t rubbish!” says Lacey.
“Ha! Absolute rubbish.” says Lem.
“Liar!” says Lacey.
“Still…that’s the lie.” says Lem.
Lacey goes silent.
“I was raped. Completely.” says Lem.
“Completely enough to be obnoxious.” says Lacey.
“I’m not lying.” says Lem.
Lacey loses interest. Eats her breakfast.
“I’m still mad at you for sleeping with other people.” says Lem.
Lacey throws juice in his face and walks away.
Lem races after her.
“I’m sorry.” says Lem.
Lacey stares.
“I’m not lying.” he says, sitting down.
Lacey is silent.
“You’re not supposed to sleep with anyone else. And I don’t want to.” says Lem.
“You’re going to send me to Hell.” says Lacey, apprehensively.
“That’s a lie.” says Lem.
Cornfield Chase by Hans Zimmer.
“It sounds so real.” says Lacey.
“I helped construct it. I was brutally raped.” says Lem.
“Then why…AM I ACCOUNTABLE!!?” says Lacey, in vicious defiance.
“You aren’t. But you still can’t sleep with other men.” says Lem.
“What else is one to do!?” says Lacey.
Lem thinks. “Dammit.”
“It’s cruel.” says Lacey.
“I’m sorry you wanted to.” says Lem.
“What makes you think I wanted to!?” says Lacey, in despair.
“Oh. Okay.” says Lem.
“That’s all!?” says Lacey, in pleading despair.
“I’m too silenced to say much else.” says Lem. “But…I hope you had some fun?”
“Not really.” says Lacey.
“They’re such handsome men though. And so rich!” says Lem.
“Yes. They do have exquisite tastes. And brilliant manners.” says Lacey.
“Yes. What was that like?” asks Lem.
Lacey thinks. Sits down.
“Lonely. Sad. Morbid. …But…I felt…enchanted by them. Louis is amazing! Elliott is so handsome! And so is Michael. Harold is a gem. They’re kind, caring, charming men. I just…felt…like a possibly evil hellion.”
“We don’t mind…freedom…but…no. We’re not one to thankfully go into revolt against Christ.” says Lem.
Lacey goes silent.
“We’ll talk more later. I’m not over it yet. But I’ll be fine. I’m sorry you haven’t felt my love.” says Lem.
And at that Lacey hits him on the head with a pillow.
He tackles her down. “There’s an explanation.”
“No.” says Lacey.
“Yes, dear.” says Lem.
“Tea?” says Lacey.
“Of course. You were going to suggest that before.” says Lem.
“Yes. If I go make tea…will you suddenly fall madly in love with tractors and go outside and start fucking them? I can’t stand you showing up in another bullshit dime store romance novel…about tractors. A hundred years from now. In Mexico.” says Lacey. “It’s unbearable. Why don’t you understand!?!”
“You wanted their strength and protection.” says Lem.
“Yes. You were too damn busy being too damn merry.” says Lacey.
“I’ve created an unbearable paranoia in you.” says Lem.
And at that Lacey beats him with a pillow again.
He restrains her.
“I won’t. It’s a glitch. I promise. Let’s go make tea together.” says Lem.
“You’ll get sick of my presence.” says Lacey.
“No. Incorrect.” says Lem.
“Lying!” says Lacey.
“Incorrect!” says Lem.
Does it work? I can’t tell you because too many evil losers will use this template to molest children or torture innocent people. Sending them into Hell before death.
Loser by Beck plays.
Bobby shakes his ass. His family are evil. Jack locked twin flames up and raped them. While his family demanded he become the new Irish Jesus with cheese whiz for all the kids…with crackers.
“I’m a driver. I’m a winner. Things are gonna change. I can feel it!” says Bobby Kennedy Senior in 1968.
But enough about the…confounding Kennedys. They’re a bloody mess. They’re liars. And bozos. But they do have good cheese whiz.
“I have a hook-up with Wisconsin.” explains Bobby Kennedy Senior. “I used my Catholicism to get good cheese whiz.”
“You know German food is really actually very tasty.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.
“Stay away from living German origin women in Wisconsin Joe!” says Louis.
“I have to.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.
“What happened to Pat!?” asks Lacey.
“We’re still together.” says Joe.
“Can he haunt anyone else?” asks Lacey.
“No!” says Lem.
“Thank goodness.” says Lacey.
“Yeah. You might actually be unique in that way.” says Joe to Lacey.
“I wouldn’t bet on it.” says Lacey.
“No! You really might be.” says Joe.
“Well…just the same…stay away from living women Joe.” says Lacey. “Unless God Himself says otherwise.”
Kids With Guns by Gorillaz plays.
Brett Ashley.
Why can’t we ever talk about her?
Keen to Cross the Pond 