Brett Ashley III

According to The Sun Also Rises Brett Ashley was grand. A historic moment, even.

But what was she actually?

Was she really that big of a deal? …It seems stupid to Lacey. And it always has.

People had promiscuous sex before the 1920’s.

“What the fuck is so special about Brett Ashley!?” Lacey asks Harold Loeb.

Supreme Illusion by Thievery Corporation plays.

Harold Loeb stares at her.

“Fess up!” says Lacey.

“She’s…soft.” says Harold.

“All nice people are.” says Lacey.

Harold laughs. “No. She’s especially soft.”

“Spineless?” asks Lacey.

Harold closes his eyes and almost cries.

“She’s spineless!” says Lacey.

“Maybe.” says Harold.

“And you always knew that.” says Lacey.

Harold nods and cries.

“Who did it?” asks Lacey.

Harold thinks. He thinks some more. He puts his pointer finger up in the air.

“She was…fooled by British Aristocracy.” says Harold Loeb.

Lacey yawns. “Okay. How?”

“They…fooled her into thinking she was one of them.” says Harold.

“Am I?” asks Lacey. She yawns.

“Yes.” he says, finally.

“Fascinating!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. But she’s not.” says Harold.

“Why did she think she was?” asks Lacey.

Harold looks concerned. Then very concerned.

“I always wondered too!” says Ogden.

“Who is Lady Duff!?!” asks Hemingway.

“Did she have money from home?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah.” says Hemingway. “Yes.”

“Where did it originate from?” asks Lacey.

“No where impressive.” says Hemingway.

“Where!?” asks Lacey.

“A store? A lucrative store.” says Lady Duff.

“Where?” asks Lacey.

“A city outside of London.” says Lady Duff.

“North or south?” asks Lacey.

“South?” she says.

“Near Dover?” asks Lacey.

Lady Duff cries.

“Alright. You’d fit there…I bet.” says Lacey.

“It was a very lucrative store.” she says.

“My goodness, you were daring.” says Lacey.

“Yes!” says Lady Duff.

“It’s a wonder you didn’t end up dead sooner.” says Lacey.

“Yes!” says Harold Loeb.

“Hold on! What do you mean!?” asks Duff.

“Wasn’t there a lot of sickness in the south?” asks Lacey.

Duff laughs. Thinks. “What else?”

“Trains!” says Lacey. “Nasty accidents.”

“How the hell…would I have been killed in a nasty accident?” asks Duff.

Lacey thinks. “Slipping off!”

“At night.” says Duff.

“Yes. While drunk.” says Lacey.

“Where else?” asks Harold.

“There were very mean men!” says Lacey.

“Why!?” asks Lady Duff.

“They…might have been mad about Cornwall?” says Lacey.

“Why!?” asks Lady Duff.

“They felt…hurt. Hurt by Great Britain, essentially. Like they’d been stolen from?” says Lacey. “Lots of pent up animosity.”

“And so they got mean?” asks Lady Duff.

“Yes!! Cruel. Violent.” says Lacey.

“Lacey you sound like you were reincarnated and I think that’s terrifying to you if you weren’t. That aside if it’s actually what happened in British History what could’ve happened to her?” asks Harold Loeb.

“I think they might’ve tried to suffocate her in her sleep, or poison her or probably decapitate her essentially, I think. And then get away with it.” says Lacey.

“Oh wow! Why would they having that angry at me?” asks Duff.

“Because they would have thought you were a whore, to be honest. They would’ve thought that the moment you slept with anyone other than them, or even flirted with someone too much that you were just a whore and they would’ve seen you because you weren’t Cornish as being from the people who stole from them, and then that would’ve triggered them, and made them decide to kill you.” says Lacey.

“Oh, so they would’ve seen me as a social climber, so sort of like Julie Christie in Darling?” ask Duff.

“Yes, essentially. I’m sorry.” says Lacey.

“And you’re trying to figure out if they were right.” says Lady Duff.

“ you could be that that person regardless of where you are in great Britain and yes, I’m trying to figure out if they’re right, you could be a despicable person, but if you’re not that I’m trying to dissect that as well, you should probably give me more credit for that, considering that you seem like an absolute bitch to me, regardless.” says Lacey.

“ how does how does duff seem like a bitch?” asks Hemingway.

“ because she’s so damn underhanded and conniving.” says Lacey. “ Harold stuck on her. I would love to know why, but he’s stuck on her and she knows that and she uses it to bludgeon other women who would love to be loved by him probably his wives might even be included in that because I think she’s sick and perverted enjoys torturing people potentially and if that’s not the case then what the fuck is her problem? Is she an idiot?” says Lacey.

“How would she be an idiot?“ asks Queen Mary.

“ because it’s so bloody obvious that Harold’s a catch he’s a Guggenheim he’s a lope he’s extraordinarily handsome who gives a shit that he’s Jewish if you like sex if you’d like beauty if you like money if you like a man with a good personality he’s a great catch, the most sane women like one of those things. She just didn’t notice that because she was too busy sounding like a dove when she giggled. I mean what the fuck?” asks Lacey.

“ I hear what you mean.” says Queen Mary.

“ actually, so do I I can’t stand that character either she didn’t do as well in Russia as she did in the United States Lacey, even when the book was published.” says Tsar Putin.

“ she’s maybe not that much of a bitch she might just-“ says Harold Loeb, crying.

“Harold is she really soft or are you just making excuses to be in love with her?” asks Old Dutch Money.

“ no she’s she’s got more to her than just conniving idiosyncrasies.” says Harold Loeb.

“Why are you suddenly so hateful towards me though?” asks Lacey.

“ do you think there’s someone better from you than Brett even though it’s not you?” says Harold.

“ I am worried there could be an there might not be, but I don’t want you to shortchange yourself or Brett.” says Lacey.

“ so you’re just trying to dissect the whole thing to try to help us?” says Harold Loeb.

“ yes of course, and out of my own personal interest and sorting through it because it actually really irritates me.” says Lacey.

“ she’s a lot like Jack Lady Duff is an enormous amount like Jack and I think Lacey is sick of that 20th century lie. There are these magic unicorn people it it’s it’s it’s gone too far to say the least.” says Lem. “ I am a magic unicorn person too and I’m not a magic unicorn person. Lacey and I are unique but the Nesheim‘s are a lot like the British aristocracy but there’s their Norwegian and I’m a lot like Lacey except I’m English and French potentially and she’s possibly literally more physically Dutch old money, so you can sort of make heads and tails of the whole thing because there’s an origin there’s logic there’s context, so it seems plausible and then suddenly it’s not you know unicorn person anymore me never having any needs of my own never having any sexuality of my own, just being this mysterious, nothing was nonsense, and it’s been very detrimental to a lot of people including Lacey obviously not just gay men lots of people and that’s irritating to both of us so I think we feel may be responsible slightly and we’re trying potentially to sort things out. Do you are a bit whether a reincarnated British people or not so what gives what is lady actually what the fuck even happened sorry for swearing because it’s very bizarre. It doesn’t really make sense Harold there’s some logic to hit, but there’s something dishonest about the sun also rises and we’re trying to sort through what it was.” says Lem.

Casi stares at them. “ you and her are you and Lem’s are unusual people but I have a feeling that’s just because you’re old money and you’re unusually intelligent and kind and somehow that’s made you both a little eccentric even if you’re not your magic unicorn people I don’t think that there’s anything there that’s all that special about the sun also rises I mean maybe there is some historical shift that Hemingway was chronicling and fashion and women’s Lib to some degree him but I don’t know if there was a if I don’t know I’m not convinced there is anything else let me explain

I think Brett had her tubes tied and was really good at giving head. I think she was an absolute slut and a Normas slut and that’s how she got to be lady doth was that she spread her legs very cleverly for just the right people I just the right time and I don’t think she realized when opportunity herald was because she was Jewish and she was a snob and she was bourgeois and had no fucking clue how wealthy he was or what his social could actually would be for her to marry him

And so she thought no I can’t marry a Jew. Ill people won’t be my friend anymore. Well, she didn’t realize that there were like tons of Jewish people who were extremely wealthy, who would suddenly be her friend, or that the very least should be hell, a wealthy and be able to live in a lifestyle that she never experienced before.

And so she thought oh I can’t do that, but she just had no fucking clue what she was doing because she was kind of a bourgeois bitch she’s just a birch my bitch slut that’s all who got her tubes tied and cut her hair short.

And you and I both know there are a lot of women like that from different perspectives. I know that from a bisexual perspective possibly you know that from being hurt by those people as a friend, they suck shit I hate those people I hate those women and they’re everywhere. Our generation is filled with them. I guess she started the trend. Wow that’s exciting. Thanks Hemingway for telling us where it started.

I knows I’m saying this I’m realizing what irritates you is that she has no class. She’s a fucking classroom mafia perspective. She has no class she’s just a stinky slut. Ewww. I from don’t even know if those are your people but I think you understand their culture slightly and you might think what the fuck this bitch is a Golddigger but I know some people like that who have some class and would never be such a weird creepy bitch. And then there’s people who would say you have a southern perspective as well from who you were raised by and know from our perspective it’s like what the hell like you decided to fuck all the guys in the fraternity? Eww!

From an old money perspective, I think you suspect foul play, and I think from the perspective of just who you are as a person, you find her utterly devastating.” says Casi.

“ yes and that’s part of the reason I thought that I lost one because I thought oh fuck men are all falling for these days they’re turning gay they’re giving their hearts to heartless sluts and then that’s where I wish I just been art history major because I would have wanted to end up with one of the ghost of those men from Cornwall for eternity, but it would be a lot more comforting as a woman to think that I’d have someone to be with than that I’m just destitute for eternity as a lonely woman with no man.” says Lacey Banks.

“ yeah, there’s a mini illuminati really fucked up because I have a very strong suspicion. That lamb was not gay and I think what you’re trying to raffle with at Harold’s be an absolute asshole about is why he’s with brat because it’s just heartless because if you could figure out why he was with brats and fool by her, you’d be able to figure out what really happened with with what I get it but he’s just not wanting to say anything it’s like oh she gives good head and you’re just like OK that’s not an explanation, and then the illuminati’s too stupid to realize that you’re actually a real sentient like entity being that Hass to be respected and I’m getting pissed off as I’m saying this they’re despicably stupid and I can see why you start losing your temper with a Perfume community.” says Casi.

“ that hurts!” says the DNC in a whiny voice.

“ see you guys are criminals. They’re worse than the Nazis and then you’re offended that we’re calling you stupid?” asks South Carolina.

“You know I really am gosh darn it!” says the DNC. “You are go too far you go too damn far and it starts to hurt.”

“ that’s intriguing. Umm. Oh yeah, I would like to know to what happened with Harold and Brett, if-if-if Harold’s capable of sharing that with us at some point.” says Casi.

“ casi, your frighteningly similar to Lem in your effectiveness, and that points to Lem being her twin flame, and there’s a little tiny part of me that wonders if that means that Lacey is straight and that Lem was straight as well. I just wanted to introduce that into the conversation.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ who keeps interrupting these conversations is it the CIA? I think they might be or some other hacker is. Or is it actually the supernatural? Is it a demon? Is it your uncle is it his residual energy? And it’s disturbing because if she’s heard audible voices in her house, they could easily be trying to speak into her phone and Bobby, I think you need to be more aware of yourself because I am pretty positive that he was probably straight.” says Casi.

“ it’s people who are bitter they’re not as socioeconomically important as Lacey and her family, and in some parts some of them might be dead.” says Louis.

“ hey Lacey, I think you need to stop holding back with your decorating and your eating and just start being more honest and it’s it maybe not your dress because I can see why you’re a little afraid if Lacey had her druthers she’d be wearing make coats and long string pearls everywhere and that’s not possible but I would say just go for it with everything else because it’s getting old the routine of yours to try to seem you know kind to people. Just be yourself.” says Elsie Hill.

“ the problem is if I were to really do that I would be dangerous. I would be very dangerous.” says Lacey. “ I would want to know. I wouldn’t know where to stop reconstructing everything. I can’t stand most of the world the way that it is right now and I would just go around changing everything eventually that I can possibly change that’s the problem I think that’s why I was held back and tried because I’m just sort of over the edge which is probably part of the reason why I would like to just destroy the entire world. I feel like it’s just too big of a mess.”

“ he would know where to start reconstructing the entire world?” asks Elsie.

“ if my opinion matters yes and that might’ve if there’s a big carnation, that might’ve been one of the most disgusting things that happened was that lens authority over me got taken away and said that I’ve had to defend him or at least perceive that I am and that’s not a good luck because it’s possible my opinion was never really taken all that seriously brought history that I’ve been just very loving and very you know, trusting of them and people like him to sort of leave the show but then the show ended up putting him in the gate drag and he’s not gay at all and then I end up living my whole shit show life and you know it’s kind a bit too far and then I wanna be submissive to Christ and so then that leads me to think that the whole thing is just a wash and we should send it because I can’t I just I can’t I can’t defy Christ and yet part of me thinks that the whole thing was just absolute waste of time other than for the fact that lovely humans were created in the process, hopefully bye-bye kids are lovely hopefully I’m lovely other than that I don’t know the whole point but I know I look forward to his explanation because I’m sure he has one. I am in Christ but no I’m out of absolutely lost interest and the entire shit show.” says Lacey.

“ we ruined human existence for her, and lots of other people Elsie I have a feeling what she saying is quite rational.” says Mary the Mothet of Jesus.

“ did I do that!?” says JFK from Hell.

“Harold could you be merciful please that’s pretty gruesome it was just discussed and could you please could you please be kind and explain why you were in love with Brett Ashley please!?” says a dead Rothschild.

“ you know there are a lot of ‘straight men’ who are addicted to Jack’s dick either because they’re not straight or because they’re morons.” says Casi.

“ I bet most of them are bisexual and closeted, but there could be a few that really are that stupid bless their hearts.” says Lacey.

“ I agree I don’t think they realize how bisexual his aesthetic is and they’re too arrogant to except that because they’re too proud of themselves for being mildly straight and then the rest are just ignorant at certain it’s sad. Those are the ones that I worry about if I’m being a good person, because yeah, there could be some nice guys. You have admired him here no clue how off they are in their estimation of him, but no there are plenty of bisexual. Assholes who are pissy probably about your blog because they’re secretly fucking him in their head even their subconscious.

Let’s just talk about Harold.” says Casi.

“ I think the guys who, like Jack, who are bisexual are bullies who don’t want to admit that they have some tender spot in their heart or who don’t wanna admit how evil they are.

Um…Haroldz. I am-I am mystified by Harold. What do you think?“ says.

“ and you know the Kennedys are kind of cute but not like some people but they’re kind of cute and I kind of think that’s part of the problem with bisexual men in the Kennedys. They’re sort of entry-level, cute, psychologically speaking it’s like you can have a crush on them when you’re a teenager when you grow up somewhat but then because of how scummy they are, you’re like crap there’s got to be something better than that and that there are thank God speaking of which Harold is a sort of a delicacy and I’m a little pissed off too because if he’s perfume he’s like some rare green perfume that very few people even know about it’s like what tons of oak moss that’s probably from the 1920s and some Crystal bottle that’s just as glorious is Chanel I mean he’s hot he’s hot he’s kind of a big deal and yeah I can see what that pisses you off.

Call have you ever tried of water Chanel I think you should try that one just to try it. I have a feeling you’d like it more than you think. I have a feeling Credit Rossi turned you off from the old Janelles him and you just decided to give up gardenia is good too but yeah you should try. Ivoire De Chanel because I have a feeling it’s better than you think really.

I also get a will. I doubt you’re gonna die before your kids do but I’m worried as hell that they’re gonna end up with the wrong people if you do.

I am crap. I am condescending except, I actually do think those things could be true, even if I have evil intentions in telling you those things. Oh and yeah, I’m sure you have things you could say in response but you’re not even gonna bother and I don’t blame you, but I still have to say those things.

I really was just obsessed with being better than you my word.

Harold, that being said, I’m actually kind of fascinated by Harold myself. Harold Harold is Harold is an asshole in my opinion. Because he knows better, and I think that’s the premise of Hemingway’s novel that he knows better than he knows he’s like an absolute like fool for being with Brett, but then he chooses to just keep being a shit and lying about it and not just being like fuck I didn’t care either. I just screwed you I was a playboy and then just letting it go And be like yeah I just like fucking checks you called me out I don’t really care that much about people so just fuck it go on your merry way, but I have a feeling that’s not the reality of the situation and that to me proves that you’re talking to ghosts because you know that about him or does it just prove that you and Harold are a lot of like it might prove that you and Harold are a lot of like, but I have a very strong suspicion that it wouldn’t be. This fleshed out of a concept if you weren’t talking to ghosts.

Which pisses me off for Harold or makes me think he’s in a Normas asshole and that Hemingway just couldn’t quite capture it, so is he an enormous jerk or is he really obnoxious and not explaining himself?“ says Casi.

“ I have a I’ve had a very hard time talking about it since I am since it happened and what actually happened I fell in love with her.” says Harold.

“ why??!” says Lacey.

“ she’s not that bad looking!” says Harold.

“ no she’s not, but you made her out to be the most gorgeous woman to ever exist and she’s obviously not.” says Lacey.

“No some people think I was just trying to marry into British aristocracy.” says Harold.

“ do you know Bobby I would love to hear you explain on this blog without people coaching you what you actually stand for politically. I don’t think you can do it. I think you’re a wind bag is pumped up by your family and people who you hire who are smarter than you to look smart I don’t think Linn ever thought you were that intelligent I think he lied about it if you ever said anything like that.” says a dead British Aristocrat.

“I didn’t think of Brett as anything other than a beautiful bird.” says Harold.

“Alright well I know she has a bit of a beautiful bird. Maybe I just don’t understand men but I don’t get it. I don’t get why you’d chase beautiful bird. What you possibly want from her?” says Lacey.

“ I know you know like belonging is not some thing you got from a woman that some thing that a man gives you a woman so in a sense that whole let the bird fly away bullshit should never have been told to women because it’s just bullshit unless if they’re in some atypical, non-heterosexual relationship I’ve never understood some of those things either that came out in the 20th century cause they’re just based on bullshit and you haven’t either because they make no sense. You’re right you can’t possess a man the way you can a woman that’s theoretically impossible.

I guess homosexuals might disagree with us, but I don’t know I have a feeling there’s a switch other as much as they can but yeah, if you when you’re in a heterosexual relationship, there’s a certain belonging that happens between a man and a woman and the woman belongs to the man, not vice versa 50s pop sons are nonsense to meet you and that way because they are just objectively nonsense. Unless if you want to make them queer they’re not normal heterosexual love songs.

I know a woman can never have a man belong to her and that way it’s absurd. She hast belong to him and if she can’t then he’s just a fucked up failure in the relationship. Which is where a lot of the fair start because people lie about these things, and then they’re unhappy and they end up screwing somebody else to try to find happiness. And the thing is you’re right I couldn’t possess her because she didn’t want to be possessed by me, seemingly and then why am I chasing some strange, wild bird who doesn’t wanna belong to me?” says Harold.

“ yeah, that irritates me as a woman because I think there really is no woman who can stay in the palm of your hand who you’d like to possess?” says Lacey.

“ knowing you are that woman you’re a very rare combination of a rare bird who refuses to be possessed because she has flaming self-respect of Zelda, him and the mysteriousness of Brett but you like being possessed does point where I can’t touch you anymore because I was got you in the palm of his hand, and he is not letting go through the night irritates you in the dirty to me as well because I like to possess you I want to possess you and I or would I that’s a whole mess to sort through because it seems like I might and then there comes a gay crowd and sister-in-law was gay and it’s it’s absurd. It’s an absurd mess. I can’t. No one should expect you to sort through by psychology and how messed up I might be it might not be and sort through the gay rights movement insisting that a straight man was gay because Cape Cod had seafood in Jack’s cock or something.” says Harold Loeb.

“Yes, and I am to aristocratical and dry as toast to satisfy a big handsome man like lemon, and his appetite the way that Jack and his hearty lobster cock can?” says Lacey.

“ yes I’d love to see more images of lamb running through the ocean, searching for lobster cocks as Jack looks at him saying it’s just me it’s just my cock that you want but as a kind subservient Irish man that I am I’ll wait patiently unlike Lacey and her bitchy Scottish ancestry.” says Harold. “ I hate the Irish they are the most self-important, conceited contemptible group of people alive in my opinion right now at the moment and I can’t stand them.”

“ I can’t stand them either. That’s why Scott’s not a part of this conversation right now because you guys are right there is so much evidence to suggest that line was straight. It’s almost a farce to consider him gay, but the intelligentsia that’s Irish, or loyal to the Irish in the illuminati cannot let go of it anymore than they’ve been able to let go of the fact that they were outed as constant new money bitch bourgeois, assholes by the Nesheims.” says Hemingway.

“ how do you mean do you know that?” says Joe Kennedy I.

“ because if a nurse chime heard that some random woman in Minnesota was talking to one of their great uncles, and the woman seem to be psychic, they wouldn’t just assume that she wasn’t speaking to one of their uncles.” says Maria.

“ we’re famous and you’re not.” say the Kennedys.

“ I don’t think that would make that much difference to us if we had a leisurely existence that you people have had, and it’s totally would make any difference to us know because we’re intellectual and kind and rational and upper class old money in a real way.” says Maria Seay.

“ so you would just like debate it in your head, and you would make no assumptions until you were given a substantial amount of evidence.” says Casi.

“ yeah absolutely, and part of the reason for that Casi is because none of the men who they could possibly be channeling would be a con artist like the Kennedys.” says Orma Nesheim.

“ and you know I didn’t really take it that seriously I didn’t think it mattered that much because I didn’t have it because it didn’t have anything to do with me or my immediate family. I’ve learned that you can’t give a fuck about anyone shit I wasn’t supposed to say that, but they have me on truth serum again.” says Bobby Kennedy.

“ speaking of truth, serum Herald how do I give you truth serum what was it about Brett that you just couldn’t let go of I highly doubt Lacey is the only woman to ever exist who would fascinate you.” says a Jew.

“ I actually meant what I said about the Irish and part of it is that I got caught. She did have a boyfriend who was very controlling, and was very threatened by me and connived to take her away from me having a way to not write that correctly, we had great sex. It was amazing. We had a wonderful time together, and we parted ways, but it didn’t necessarily feel like it was going to be forever.

I think in the back of my mind I might’ve thought well I can I can still fix this I just need to figure out more what’s going on. And and then that I thought well I need to be respectful of her and I was but she was dishonest and she didn’t play the rules like you do you are in capable of being possessed because you want true love and so you refuse to submit yourself to anyone who doesn’t love you I know you can’t love, I’m not sure that’s what she was doing entirely being a bit of a Golddigger as she was not you, but also being a bit of romantic I think she felt some sort of need to keep searching for her golden goose, and I should not have let her go. I did believe it or not, this is gonna sound insane but I am I should’ve been far more draconian in my cording of her I am I was so much a con in, but I should’ve been infinitely more so I had a lot of money. I had some power I could’ve essentially kidnapped her if I wanted to, and I should have, I should’ve just taken her back to United States, and refused to let her go until she explained herself, I know it’s a book will go to South America but you need to explain yourself first what sort of a scam are you running because you’re clearly after my money not just my love.

There were drugs in South America, and I think she might’ve been into them Colombian cocaine yeah, I think she was trying to go use Coke in South America and possibly other stuff to it all but I think she had some convoluted idea that there was something exotic about it, and the sad truth is in the back of her mind she might’ve been trying to tell me how much she loved me And I should’ve just yeah taking her to American so no we’re not going to use Coke and South America in there and explain yourself but I didn’t do that and-

I know I should’ve realized that she just needed to study her hand in her life not to do drugs I am, but no people were very controlling of her because this is where things get messed up but people people were very controlling of her. They were very controlling her boyfriend was very controlling. I should’ve been more controlling, but they were very controlling, she she wasn’t that beautiful but she had a look that was popular at the time and we loved her beauty because it was so trendy objectively no she’s nowhere near as beautiful as you or a lot of other women which is kind of how I got over her because I I slept with other women and I met them and I thought that was a joke I could do you know I could have sex with Marilyn Monroe and she’s so much better looking than death, and that was part of how I got over her.

I but then the problem is we’re dealing with you at this point and it’s a total fucking shit show because you’re so much more beautiful than brat, but you’re not popular at all. And it’s very hard to know what to say because who possesses you who even controls you nobody no one’s given that much of a fuck about your whole life. And then the illuminati is trying to control you in some sadistic way on behalf of hell I can see why you think even Hells not that evil. I mean you find us orphaned, suffering, murder, aristocrat, and then you decide to control her on behalf of hell just as she’s trying to raise young children and a fallen world that’s becoming hellish I mean, when there’s global warming, I mean no it’s completely psychotic and they’re so insistent on it.

Edit am I seriously can’t I don’t just mean reincarnational but I mean that at all if it’s not in the Bible know it’s completely psychotic to the point where I can see why you’re questioning if humans have become more evil than hell itself in certain peoples cases not all, but definitely people who are evil hearted who are alive in the illuminati seemingly.

Yeah, I mean it wasn’t just Matthews death but if if this was you know a matrix simulator, your video game has gone insane there might just as well it’s like double Lake exposure going on we’re like Casi is suddenly talking to you from the past sitting on the toilet in the corner of your room, and then disappears, and then suddenly aliens, arrive and start seeing and dancing, and walk out your front door I mean it’s absurd it’s like for the game is broken and you’re just like what the hell am I supposed to do sit here for the next 40 years old his thing falls apart. I mean it’s insane and I can see why you think I know it’s just kill the entire thing because if my screen is broken, I can’t imagine that there’s not some thing wrong with the whole system.

And to be honest with you, it’s not the matrix, but it’s interesting because of global warming dovetails with you why didn’t in the world it’s not entirely possible that you’re ending it because animals are suffering too much themselves and you’re one of the only humans that they could reach and so you’re thinking about 40 years I’m sorry And they’re thinking well maybe 40 years we’ll see because if they know they’re going to heaven when they die no there could literally be herds of buffalo right now chatting with other saying what what the heck do we do if we can just get her to have a heart attack The koalas it out of Australia would feel a heck of a lot better going to sleep tonight because they know that there’s not gonna be a fire and if they’re sure as heck is one it’s going to be an explosion and they’re going to be in heaven in about five minutes.

No and I have a feeling because of your oil ties they feel like you should be responsible and they know that you’d like to be him know I know and that’s why I get frustrated too because I have a feeling love is tried to give you a heart attack you numerous times in the last few months And demons have kept you alive and then that’s where it’s going to get ugly because I’m in less of the illuminati can let go of the fact that love might have been straight. I don’t know what’s going to happen I mean it’s absurd because yeah, if they’re a literal lobsters roll looking at you like I don’t know man let’s just you know, end it And you’re on board and have the authority to do that. I really don’t know how it makes sense to some animals for her not to be dead. I have a feeling there are literally herds of animals right now in the wilderness who are pissed off that she’s not dead yet, and not because she supposed to be suffocated because she supposed to be given a heart attack in her sleep or stroke And then her kids are supposed to die and Mark supposed to die and there’s supposed to be a nuclear war. It’s also possible that Greta is trying to you know fix things and so there’s some debate and you know how that can go on and not just Greta hopefully but then that’s the problem but if there’s people who think Bobby would make a good president because he’s an environmentalist and you and I know that’s probably just hogwash And then they’re loyal people who say why don’t we have to why do we have to fix it this way why can’t we fix it another way but then we say then you have to actually fix it talk is cheap and then some of those people say well fine talk is cheap And then that’s where they become supportive of you because they think she’s right where it was stealing all of her money who is stealing American money no I mean it could just be something that happened over time but it is a little fishy and some people think it’s the Jews it’s not it’s not the mafia am I I worry that it’s the Kennedys or a result of their bullshit and if it’s not done that I’d love to know how it is that the whole country fell apart after Jackson ministration was that just a coincidence you and Sissy love was gay could’ve actually been the end of the world and that seems so fantastical except it’s not. It’s a trickle down effect on a cultural level Ronald Reagan.

And that’s for gay men or two ago testable with Lacey they can’t look up they just can’t let go because lives hot and they’re delusional and narcissistic enough to think that them noticing he’s attractive means anything. Lacey is unusually beautiful love is on usually tractive, but he has far more flaws than I do and yet they can’t fixate on me because I am straight and they know that they fixate on them. They fixate on him and they can’t let go. The fact that he was probably straight as with some people think they think that they’re not that stupid they’re just in capable of handling reality because they’re fixated on him because he’s looking he wants and let me tell you that irritates you a heck of a lot more than Lem seems to realize.

And I’m just telling you that is a huge part of the problem them. You really are extremely good looking in your own way.

At least she doesn’t know how beautiful she is because no one‘s ever giving a damn about her, her whole life. You were possessed by Jack did you enjoy it?” asks Harold. “ did you get a sense of belonging and love from him?”

“ no I did not enjoy it nor did I get a sense of belonging and love from him.” says Lem.

“ could’ve fooled me.” says Hemingway.

“ I didn’t feel the need to belong to anyone. I am a man and I was straight.” says Lem.

“ oh nice because you know the Jack thought you were- Jack thought you belonged to him that whole family feels that way.” says Harold.

“ I know.” says Lem, gritting his teeth in profound seething rage.

“ but can you blame them?” says Harold.

“ I never communicated to them that I wanted to belong. Yes, I do blame them. I blame them for being possessive freaks. And it’s possible that I gave them some mixed messages at points but that’s where I lose my temper because I was genuinely confused and I made some very dumb mistakes trying to be gay but then you have to also understand that at times I genuinely rebuffs them, and try to get them to leave me alone, and they were deaf to the point of being psychotic and sociopathic. they were obsessively possessive of me, and they still are, from the beginning. And I couldn’t I couldn’t get rid of them and that’s what irritates me my mistake for thinking I was gay not my mistake for trying to distance myself and them never taking me seriously. And there was no reason to necessarily even assume that I wanted them to carry my casket and it wasn’t necessarily my dying wish that might just be fabricated bullshit. I might’ve talked about it once with Bobby in a patronizing way, and he chose to take it very sincerely, or it might’ve been in my will however, it was explained, I would like to say that even if it was my dying wish, how do we know that it wasn’t absolute bullshit and that they made that up? Maybe I didn’t want them carrying me around everywhere after I was killed because I wouldn’t fuck Bobby.

Hey they’re psychotic and so yes I can blame them in a way but to the point that Harold and Lacey are trying to make.

I act I just didn’t imagine Lacey existing I just I didn’t imagine her existing I didn’t think someone that beautiful could exist. Why did I doubt that so much probably because of the stock market crash of 1929 believe it or not that was very traumatic, and it sort of wiped out the idea for me that women could be that beautiful.

I if there isn’t reincarnation, I just didn’t know if she could exist which is sad. I am if there’s not reincarnation, or there is reincarnation, I was brainwashed who was I brainwashed by America to some degree there might not be a incarnation, but no, I would’ve been brainwashed the United States brainwashed me.

Oh, what does that mean into thinking that the women where I was from were all ugly and the food was terrible. But I mean that’s just it wasn’t just that it was just you know it’s like it’s evil to be rich it’s evil the British were evil the British are coming the British are coming they’re evil the mayflower people escaped from the British. I am and then that’s where a third is red carnation when I was alone I suddenly remembered I’m British I have a really hot wife. What was her name again? And what is she look like? Oh I know what she looks like. wonder where she is. I should call her.” says Lem. “Bobby obviously is going to think that that’s why I was using heroin you’ll be honest Bobby if there’s ring carnation yes it might be you know maybe it was easier to access her while I was high or drunk. No reincarnation might be absolute nonsense that was invented by the Chinese. If there’s anything to it, I don’t know what you expect me to say there’s there’s no explanation for it, but I can see where that would be hurtful to her. Because how could I forget we were very in love worst case scenario I am not the English overlord it was Michael and that’s why I didn’t even know. I was that really worst-case scenario. It might not be no if I was reincarnated I have an explanation Lacey knows what I mean by that, but it might be that I was brainwashed, but I’ll have to convince her of that now because it seems like I just betrayed her and Scotland if I’m reincarnated as ready to go for blood.

I guess essentially if I’m reincarnated know what happened it was that I betrayed the Scottish to the Irish gutter.

And then the royal family is somewhat Scottish so they would be possibly with the grounds to murder half the English population practically and the Irish as well. Know if I actually was somehow in love with Jack, in a way that is evil, which would have to be the case. The know Jack is insisting essentially that the British crown has the right to murder all of Ireland. All Irish people are people of Irish dissent, possibly even those reincarnated, on behalf of Scotland, maybe not all British aristocrats but a good number of them if they want it, which is actually quite grim, but that’s what Jack insisted on is the dumb as fuck, worthless anglophile that he pretended to be.

No it’s at if I did love Jack that that would mean that all of Ireland is just fucking toast and that they should thank God that there’s a holocaust for them or some crap like that.

And they can sense that Lacey, which is why Bobby keeps trying to kill you because he’s paranoid and delusional and he has some psychotic worry that his worst fears will come true or is it something even worse than that is it that he’s guilty and he knows that they might’ve gone too far with me and actually done some thing heinous spiritually? And that’s where he doesn’t take you seriously enough because you’re checking into it you’ve been checking into it for over here thoroughly and he refuses to listen to you and take you seriously because he doesn’t want to believe that you’re is intelligent as him or anyone else in his family and actually you’re more intelligent.

And the truth is, even if they’re in grounds to do that, the queen, whose dad might disagree, and might not let him marry herself, might be debating the whole thing, but with that rust sun is me being evil in a way that I’m not telling you. And if that’s not the case, and I’m not evil in that way, then they should be relaxed and calm and thankful. And that’s why they are their own worst enemy because there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that I never cross the line but they refused to accept that because then that means that I wasn’t in love with them and I was straight and then they were the obsessive ones, and that Jack was just a worthless piece of shit to himself and everyone else potentially and that’s why he’s in hell. And he was supposed to know that I was refusing him in a real way and account for that in his brain, but he chose to spend that mental energy being evil instead and even in the afterlife he’s chosen to be evil. God knows if Jack’s retarded slightly, and that’s why I maybe Jackie isn’t stuck in hell for eternity, because Christ knows potentially that Jack’s too stupid and some ways to be held completely accountable. I am, but that’s where the gay men are repulsive because if that’s true, they refuse to except the Jackson dad that he’s just a total fucking idiot, and a terrible narcissistic very evil and then I might’ve just been straight and been oblivious to the whole thing there really is an explanation for everything there really is an explanation for why even if I was reincarnated I wasn’t aware of what was going on.

Oh, and if that’s the case, and I have perfectly good explanations, the nobody Mary cannot kill all of the Irish for losing their Catholicism or something, and then convert them first and then kill them to keep them from losing it again. I am if you know, I might have it. I might have an explanation for everything I really do and I know unfortunately it might involve brainwashing if there’s reincarnation then that’s where if that’s true, the illuminati Hass to be more real with itself, and realize that at times they’ve gone to far in America possibly since the very beginning and trying to control people and they should at least account for that and they’re analysis. They’re not infallible like the pope or something.

Because if I really was that brainwashed, if you’d showing up, I would’ve instantly been attracted to you and we would’ve just been done for eternity, but you didn’t show up and for some reason if I’m reincarnated, I just never thought that it was possible you could actually exist, possibly partially because you were so deep in my heart, because I was so wounded that I just didn’t let that part of myself exist. It was just too painful And dangerous but that’s just one possible exclamation no there’s many others am I possible I don’t mean that there’s not an explanation I just mean that you can’t tell whether or not that’s the actual explanation or not that good it’s not good or better right it would have to be. It’s not a real explanation and no we’re gay men here I’ve told him repeatedly it’s starting to get to be funny because it involves learned masturbation scenes but yes, I really if it if there’s being carnation, I really did wander off even in my little room in the White House And lose myself and thought thinking of Lacey.” says Lem.

“ did Jack notice other than when you were with him and you closed your eyes?” asks a gay man.

“ no FFI up, but I was channeling Lacey from the grave accidentally if there’s a big carnation the Bible, or if I was thinking of her in the future no I know I don’t think Jack noticed at all.” says Lem.

“ how could Jack not have known that it was gonna make you last longer?” asks a gay man.

“ I don’t know if Jack understood that concept to begin with him he had a tendency to come very quickly, regardless.” says Lem. “ hey even when I gave him head, he he he would come relatively quickly, considering how much sex he was having he never really it never seem to affect him it’s possible because he was raping people that it never affected him. It’s also possible that he didn’t know how to have sex he just became very focused on getting off and he never really figured out how to actually have sex.” says Lem.

“ but he never understood that big that you were you never were having sex with him that we were you?” asks the gay man.

“ no he never saw my penis hard, hardly ever and certainly not a natural, not a natural contacts and I’ve said that and I never got hard just in any natural way with him ever at all.” says Lem. “ some people who are raped might be able to so people who are molested might be able to. I never never dead. It just never happened and actually became frustrating to him at times because he could never get me hard by doing you know anything to me.”

“so you never got an erection from a man including him ever?” says a gay man.

“ no I mean I was given force directions and I will close my eyes and think about women.” says Lem.

“ so then you were getting hard from that even though you were closing your eyes or Lacey must’ve had really big ugly hands?” says an insistent gay man.

“ do you understand what masturbation is no she didn’t have big ugly and she still doesn’t. She was on my mind or other women were and I know it’s perfectly possible I’m sorry you can’t understand it wasn’t good sex but it’s the same concept as being raped and getting physically aroused while you’re raped or getting physically aroused while you’re molested, you’re just being touched by someone and then you don’t wanna be, but you’re not actually getting genuinely aroused by them at all what was arousing me was were the images in my head if I open my eyes and looked at who was touching me, I lost my erection. Yeah I had a boyfriend one sit there on the couch for about an hour or two hours fondling my dick to get me to have an orgasm and I close my eyes or stared off into the distance the whole damn time and I obviously broke up with him and it only happened once I basically I turn my boyfriends into masturbation machines I close my eyes I zone out and then let them touch me him and I think pretty thoughts about tits and asses on women and they might’ve noticed and been hurt by that.” says Lem.

“ God, we’re desperate for you to be gay. I get the concept for Doris, Kearns, Goodwin, and Bobby and a lot of other people who can’t understand that pedophilia is evil or that people can be raped have a very hard time with a concept that you’re explaining and it’s embarrassing to them. I’m actually a prostitute, and I have some experience with the association to make money and sex obviously and as I think about it no if you close your eyes the whole damn time or even try to open them and maintain your erection to be nice or something and then the last direction you couldn’t even tried kissing your boyfriend and it would’ve just been weird and then you didn’t do it again because you lost your erection because you’re sleeping with a rotten gender I mean come on I get it, they don’t they just don’t get it. They don’t get the intelligence of some people when it comes to sex. I don’t think Bobby is probably almost every sup with prostitutes and if he did, I have a feeling, he deleted himself into thinking they were in love with him. And not in love with him for show, or even for the moment, but just like madly obsessed with him for eternity.” says the gay prostitute.

“ I said yeah no I could never get hard having sex with men it just never worked and people thought I was furtively dating men. Apparently people read way too much and I mannerisms in that way home or even some of the things I would say there’s no proof that I was gay but people read way too much and the things I said, and my mannerisms.

You’re trying to steal me from Lacey why are you also threatened by the British crown through her of the 1800s? If there’s reincarnations you want me to be with Jack or you’re worried that you’ve done some thing Heynis to the British and that they have every right to destroy all of you was like some brutal beheading or something.

It’s possible Joe doesn’t exist anymore that he’s just Pat Wilson’s husband and they have to decide what they want him to be.

He might turn into a British version of himself. We’ll see.

Him if there’s reincarnational, maybe that’s what he’d rather be I don’t know.

I am no I I worry that’s gonna be very hard for people to believe that a man would tolerate that behavior during sex, but this is before people came out of the closet. I wasn’t out of the closet I wasn’t even gay, but I wasn’t in the closet either these men might not have been out of the closet they might not have been that experienced, and frankly they might’ve thought that it made sense somehow so don’t assume things and it really might be more rational than you think or they just didn’t care because they just thought he’s hot I don’t have to keep dating him if I don’t want to so we’ll just see how this goes Some of them might’ve even been as backward as I was and thought that I could still look at pornography of women and then have sex with them and be gay and then after a while they realized that that didn’t maybe make sense on some intuitive level, because I would you know look at playboy, and then be interested slightly in I’d have to keep my eyes closed. It’s like oh OK I’ll look at playboy close my eyes and then you can do whatever you want and then apparently they never realize for the first two weeks or three months that was weird and then eventually they would realize that.” says Lem.

“ you read Playboi close your eyes, and then they would do things to you?” asks Doris z Kearns Goodwin.

“ yes I’m sorry that’s hard for you to believe I also believed I was gay so I didn’t feel guilty so it’s like oh no I’m gonna enjoy myself. I think about hot chicks hot chicks lay here and then let them do whatever they want.” says Lem.

A lesbian laughs.

“ no there’s a lot of lesbians Doris that I’ve done that if he was usually in the receiving row with most of his boyfriends because you’re so attractive with all he ever wanted to do was just give head and then call it quits that’s very lesbian that’s so classic lesbian culture.” says a woman.

“ why can’t you guys just accept that he was probably straight?” asks a lesbian.

“ no I think it’s retribution. I think it is. I think they think they have looked the other way with lesbians and now they’re pissed off at us are they? They’ve always been pissed off excuse me and now they’re taking it out on them because it’s triggering to them.” says a lesbian.

“ that is so evil because I think straight men make allowances they’re like oh he’s just straight actual straight line and then some of those men are evil and some of them are not the ones that are evil. Think my sexuality probably doesn’t even exist or they do the opposite of what you just said, and they feel like they’re taking a strike at the lesbian to hurt them by taking love away from the gay men.” says another lesbian.

“ wow that’s heartless.” says a reader.

“ yeah but if she’s a British aristocrat you’ll be justified in doing that? Or if she’s American aristocrat?” says Matthew Nesheim.

“ you know Doris as much as we like you we don’t trust you for a reason.” says Lem. “ there really are explanations for everything but Lacey can’t imagine it well enough or quickly enough for you or other gay men who can read her in the illuminati, who are desperate for me to be gay, and are aware of that part of themselves, potentially if that’s true and that’s the problem we’ve been going at this now for eight years, and I’ve been a part of it even if it wasn’t open part of it, I am her other half for eternity I was straight and if that’s not correct, she’s with someone else that’s very simple. She doesn’t cease to exist even though you want her to Doris because you’re ugly as fuck compared to her. And if that’s if that’s your heart that’s your problem go gouge out your eyes you dumb bitch. And if that’s not your heart that I’m sorry, but you rub me the wrong way every time I talk to you Lacey has patience for you and likes you as a person. You drive me nuts because I feel like you understand things and you’re very dishonest and stubborn. And so if you don’t deserve this tongue lashing, I am sorry truth is I wouldn’t say that if Lacey wasn’t sitting here with me, telling me to tell you that just in case if you’re genuinely hurt. But I hope you understand what’s going on you’re old you’re losing status with them because you’re aging and they’re less afraid of you so if you’re agreeing with me they’re threatening you because they think the cat and if you’re not agreeing with me, it is it is really repulsive to me because it’s such a simple stuff and now I have to find a way to explain it to her And I’m getting sick of her. Just trust in God telling her no longer straight. Everything‘s fine. Are there koala bears trying to contact you Doris to end the world or what? By the way, I can talk through Lacey but not as well as directed because I am not violating her spirit the way he does if he backed off, I could’ve probably protected her. God allowed me to, but nope he chose to use it to hurt her instead I’m sorry people are that terrifying in history.

I know we’re not gonna stop talking on this blog in a way that’s useful and I think Carol might’ve had the right idea I don’t think explaining more about how Chris Hayes was channeling Michael, and that I was straight detailing the sexual activity of how awful everything was really make sense yes, but there’s a gay man who wants to ask another question you could ask it if it’s appropriate.” says Lem.

“ I am so basically I’m just wondering how did men never realize that you weren’t putting out and how did Jack never realize that you just disappear for hours and masturbate?” asks a reader.

“ Jack never noticed they disappeared, because when I wasn’t catering to Jack’s needs, he lost track of me like I could easily have been talking to the illuminati and plotting to kill him. If he had it in his head that I was doing some thing he didn’t give two shits about he really was convinced that I was madly in love with him intractably so for eternity he didn’t think anyone who Felma with him necessarily would ever fall out of love with him loose if he wanted them to he was very narcissistic, very childish, not childlike. He was very immature, and he had no idea that people had private lives of their own that matter to them and other people, and God, he had a very slow backward ignorant view of the world, so when I disappear for hours and masturbate he probably assumed that I was just sitting thinking about him or brushing my hair and maybe sitting around thinking about him or having a reading a book him thinking about him I think he probably assumes that if I wasn’t thinking about him, and I thought it didn’t matter. No he couldn’t handle the thought that I had a brain and that’s actually recorded in history. I specifically said I picked Jack’s brain many times he never picked mine. Which makes it seem like I’m a loss little puppy dog if you’re shallow in your interpretation, it’s weird when you think about it from the perspective of me, people have been brainwashed to be shallow in regard to me by Bobby and his family since I died. And they they have a very hard time letting go of things and the problem is that they read too much into stuff to know it it’s IIII think he just didn’t think that I you know existed so it’s like oh well I don’t know what love is doing, but I guess I’ll find out at some point And you might misinterpret some thing I said to him wants to recording about my schedule but that’s different that’s someone’s schedule him and I still think he was a little obtuse. I was eating on the phone I was totally distracted. He never asked why I missed my plane or where I even was did it I know he didn’t have much interest in my life. He never really understood that I was rich growing up either so other people don’t know that now I try to explain that to him we brought him to the farm, but the Kennedys are obstinant arrogant idiots, and they’re up there. Poor Farm, and Ireland is the only kind of farm that exists, because if there’s rich farmers, who won then they lost at farming and they’re just loser farmers and they suck shit when it comes to farming probably compared to a lot of American aristocratic families they’re fucking shit at farming.

And if I told Jack that he probably think I was just coming onto them but no and I’m not that they really might not be good farmers and I know there’s there’s no way they can possibly understand that about farming that some people really make money farming I don’t think it was just the potato famine I have a feeling that that that that their family struggled with farming before the potato famine. The thing is they know Jack, but none of understood that I was rich either growing up before the stock market crash it never really wanted to understand that or if he did, he was very bitter about it, but I have a feeling it’s possible that he might not have understood he might’ve understood and been better and conniving but unfortunately I think it’s more likely that he never understood so what would happen he’d be off doing work or with Jackie or doing some thing with his family, and I would just disappear into a closed room For hours or I’d be living somewhere else and I disappear for days weeks he was obsessive, but it wasn’t like he had to see me constantly it was obsession that was possibly a bit different than that so I disappear for hours and during that time, I have sex with Lacey in my head And then he’d see me in the evening B none the wiser at me not realizing me not realizing that she was real was it was our not caring potential he was not was not the wiser either.

How did men never realize that I wasn’t putting out? It’s kind of like what I said before they were in experienced. It was different times they were an experienced and I’m handsome and I guess I just looked past it. Two point and then they started probably questioning it and that was when the relationships would fall apart possibly.” says Lem.

“ I think you’ve explained yourself very well them to be honest I think people could probably read between the lines and figure out some of what you just told me but they’re too obsessed with the idea of you being gay and Lacey being stupid and backward or evil or something more ugly they’re just being hateful, essentially, seemingly what worries me about what you just said is if there’s some genuine evil in there it just goes right over everyone’s head and I have a feeling you and Lacey both know what it is and I have a feeling that she tries to hold you accountable and then it’s just she’s just Silas and maybe you are but it worries me and I need to say it

Why did you care about them just as people why didn’t you care about them just as people you know it’s like maybe you did care about them but I feel like there’s a part of you or you didn’t because here you were off having this essentially adulterous affair with a woman in your head And I mean Jack probably was like you should just date people I don’t care and so you did, but in your heart of hearts you were really having this like LURD relationship with a ghost if there’s reincarnation who is a woman and that bothers me because I don’t see how you just overlooked that your whole life and didn’t care And actually that would be a great way to argue that you were gay but honestly I don’t think they’ve ever thought of it because first I’d have to except the fact that you might’ve been straight and then if you have an explanation or even if you don’t, and you were straight, they have to except the fact that you were raised rich, and that your old money, and that you really might not have given two shits about the Kennedys and some deep place in your heart And that’s hurtful to them not just as poor people but because I support myself, but like as people in general, I think they’re too eager testicle to handle this the thought that you actually snubbed them in a way that they didn’t understand, but on behalf of myself and other people Who are poor I would like to know why it is that you did that.” says a woman.

“ why why why a you know that’s actually a really interesting question. Oh that’s very insightful of you to notice that no I could probably write a whole novel about why I’ll just write a blog post but that’s the last post I’m writing for a while.” says Lem.

says Lem.

Asians are everything