Alrighty

“Let’s do this! Interview me!” says Lacey Banks waking-up from a dream where she was pestered about being reincarnated.

The Nesheims took a photo at Matthews’s funeral. Of everyone there. They decided to smile. It looks idiotic. …But they don’t know that.

Way down We Go by KALEO plays.

“I’m not like them. I’m…not really like any of those people. I’m clearly more like Tom. But whatever. …Let’s focus on what we want. Because it’s evil? And you can use it to try to take people to Hell on behalf of Satan who hates you? Because if you can use reincarnation to reject Christ you’ll be happy? Right? …But I’m sick of it! I’m sick of it! Let’s do this!” says Lacey Banks.

“What the fuck!?!” says Lacey Banks.

“That’s my funeral.” jokes Matthew.

“What the hell are they so damn cheerful about? It’s stupid as fuck!” says Lacey.

Matthew shrugs. Smiles.

“Is it defiance? Or gratefulness? …What the hell are they doing!?!?” asks Lacey Banks.

“Maybe they’re celebrating my life?” asks Matthew.

“Yeah. But it’s weird! …It’s almost like they’re psychopaths with no awareness and no mercy and they’re too damn competitive to have a clue. Like they’re smiling because they’re just excited by their happiness compared to you? And they all had to take a photo.” says Lacey. “Which is hilarious. Because it’s so…Norwegian. It’s like…they all believe there’s an afterlife with Christ. So…these are the remaining competitors? And the goal is to live the longest?” laughs Lacey.

“I got voted off the island.” says Matthew Nesheim.

“Self elected.” says Lacey Banks.

“Yeah. But I left the show.” says Matthew.

“Your wife and kids are still on.” says Lacey.

“Mmhmm.” says Matthew.

“So what was the point!?” asks Lacey.

Cleaning Apartment by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

“To be tough. And celebrate me.” says Matthew.

“But you committed suicide.” says Lacey.

Johnny laughs.

“It’s to demonstrate how happy he made people.” says Mark Nesheim.

“But he just died. Of suicide.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. But that’s- They we’re trying to celebrate me.” says Matthew.

“Yeah. It’s so…obtuse. It’s a bloody funeral.” says Lacey. “For a youngish man.”

“That’s how they want to grieve me.” says Matthew.

“In public.” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says Matthew.

“How lovely.” says Lacey slightly sarcastically.

6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps plays.

“We’d never do that at a funeral.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“No! There’s a reason I didn’t go.” says Lacey.

“I agree. It’s…tough. It’s also probably scary psychologically to the Illuminati. It’s so Norwegian!” says Lem. “And thru have yet to accept that they challenged a super Norwegian family to a duel.”

“These people are millionaires. But they’re so…frumpy.” says a reader. “And they’re old money? Wow.”

“Yes. They actually do look old money. …But the Old Money aesthetic is a circus impersonation of reality.” says a Dutch woman.

“They do look scary. They’re all sad. You can see it in everyone’s eyes. But…they’re smiling in such defiance?” says another Dutch woman.

“I guess!” says Lacey Banks.

“It’s not necessary to do that. But they felt it was. So-“ says Lem.

“I find it repulsive.” says Lacey. “And hilarious. But…if Matthew feels loved then good on them.”

“We just want to make fun of them.” say catty women in the Illuminati.

“Of course! How pathetic.” says Lacey Banks.

Matthew laughs.

“Matthew? Perry or Nesheim. They both died recently enough.” says Lacey.

“Nesheim.” says Gunhild.

“What? You want to laugh? With the haters?” asks Lacey.

“No!” says Matthew.

“Alright.” says Lacey Banks.

“You’re scarier.” says Matthew to Lacey. “And people are mocking you because they’re scared.”

“How stupid.” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” says Lem.

“Anyway. I’m appalled! But…if they meant well then good on them.” says Lacey Banks, finishing on a cheerful note.

Day One by Hans Zimmer plays.

“Let’s do this! Now that that topic of conversation has been addressed.

Let’s discuss reincarnation!” says Lacey.

“What do you remember?” asks an Englishwoman.

“We can’t discuss that.” says Lem. “That’s a part of her brain that’s too complicated. Let’s go about it differently.”

“So you knew Lem was heterosexual when you saw him.” says Frank McCourt.

“Yes!” says Lacey. “As a teenager.”

“And someone said something to you.” says Frank. “What did they say?”

“They said, ‘You still remember that from before!? Noo!!’” says Lacey Banks.

“Are you sure they said that?” asks Frank McCourt.

“Maybe not literally. But that was the gist of it.” says Lacey Banks.

“Huh. Could have been Satan trying to trick you?” says Frank McCourt.

“Yes! …Is it in the Bible or not?” asks Lacey.

“Dammit.” says a psychic. “We don’t care.”

“Yeah. Why not?” asks Lacey.

“Because…it’s so…cute.” says a psychic.

“Except…if it was true…it wouldn’t be.” says Louis. “Why do you keep talking yourselves into overreacting or under-reacting?” asks Louis of the living Illuminati.

“I wholeheartedly agree!” says Tucker Carlson.

The Quality of Mercy by Max Richter plays.

The song plays.

“Tucker…why were scared of your bow ties?” asks Anne Applebaum.

“Excellent question!” asks Lacey Banks.

“Because it was…real.” says Tucker.

“What was?” asks Lacey.

“His defiance. Based on childhood memories.” says Jeffrey Epstein.

“Yeah. Lacey couldn’t easily wear a bow tie. Per se.” says a dead Jew from Israel.

“No. …A Bunad? Or a brooch? Yes! …But not a bow tie. …I wonder if that’s why I can’t wear pearl necklaces? …Tonette bought one for me when I was a child. But people don’t wear them.” says Lacey. “They’re seen as off-putting.”

“Dammit.” says Tucker.

“You should have worn a bow tie for your interview with Tsar Putin!?” says Lacey.

“Yeah!” says Tucker.

“Oh well. You’re wearing one in your heart.” says Lacey.

“Shoot.” says a member of the CIA.

“What!?” asks Louis.

“Why do we do this to Lacey?” asks the CIA.

“What are we doing?” asks a Seay.

“You’re silencing her.” says Jess Seay. “By insisting violently that her actual soul is a facade.” She laughs. “I’m dead as I’m saying this.” She thinks. “I find this whole thing fascinating when I’m dead.”

“Lem. We do look a bit alike!” says Stephen Seay.

“Yeah! We might be distant cousins.” says Lem. “We don’t look that much alike. But we might be very distant cousins.”

“Tucker when are you releasing your interview?” asks Fox.

“You’ll see!” says Tucker. “It’s something to look forward to!”