Spring Khorovod from “The Rite Of Spring” by Stravinsky plays.
Something went horribly wrong. I mean, miserably wrong.
I first knew when I had my troubles in my early 20’s in Paris. Yes. …No, I don’t care how drastic that sounds. It’s true! …Listen…I knew…I knew…something foul was afoot.
What was it? A lie.
And what was that lie? Listen to Stravinsky.
*the song plays*
Every century is fraught with peril. But the greatest lie of the 20th Century was that you could make love without being in love. And why we tell that lie? Because it was lucrative.
Half Life by Sneaker Pimps plays.
The Kennedys were middle class. They still sort of are. Lem wasn’t. He had a far more complex view of love and sex. A bit more like Lacey’s and my own. …But Jack and Joe…and all of them…were…sold on the lie. Like the middle class folks of the 1990’s who ate preservatives and hydrogenated fat and gained weight. It was lucrative. And it was experimental.
We…ate Doritos too. But we knew we were hurting ourselves. You didn’t.
No. You didn’t know. And neither did they.
(adult content below)
So Jack had oral sex with Lem always on the giving end…and while Jack’s hormones shot through the roof…in bonding exaltation and trust…Lem did not. Lem had a cock in his mouth and he was straight. So…he vomited after he gave oral sex. But Jack felt…wonderful.
Jack got his way because his daddy was extraordinarily wealthy. …But they had no idea what they were really doing. They just knew how to do it all so damn stylishly, regardless.
Low Five by Sneaker Pimps plays.
Joe Kennedy Junior believed he was untouchable. He believed he was…like a god. He was better looking and more intelligent than Jack…and his father’s favorite. His mother’s favorite too. The leader. The crown prince.
When Lacey Banks first started interacting with him…she didn’t think his attention was real. She thought it was a dream. She thought it was far too…impossible. She had no idea she was Lacey Banks. She had no idea she was as exceptionally intelligent, elegant and beautiful as she is. She believed she was…deep. Possibly unusually kind. Even tempered. Tough. Very down-to-Earth. …A Norwegian.
By the time she was in college she started to notice her beauty was rare. But…it wasn’t trendy. Her gorgeous high-cheekbones. Her delicate features and soft big brown eyes. Her roundness. Her fragile frame. Her child-bearing hips. Her small waist. Her sweet, quiet manner. Like…Donna Reed.
Empathy by Sneaker Pimps plays.
By the time my friend Scott found her…she was tired of men like Joe. And Jack. She’d heard all about them. In the news. You know, if you’re over 40 you heard all those tabloid stories too. Jack’s heterosexual…sex palace. *laugh* He was…a real scumbag. And Lacey couldn’t stand them in that regard at all anymore. She’d sooner have gouged their eyes out than married one of them. I’m not exaggerating.
A Beautiful Mine by RJD2 plays.
Lacey isn’t Betty Draper. She’s not on Mad Men. American historians have misled you about her. And yes, she exists.
And after poor Mary Richardson hung herself…Lacey almost overdosed and killed herself at 28 for not dissimilar reasons.
That really should have been a warning flag to Joe. You know? …Just like how Lem never demanded sexual pleasure for himself. That’s all…very weird. Don’t you think?
But the Kennedys were narcissistic. Not just middle class Americans. The Kennedys were narcissistic…extraordinarily wealthy…middle class Americans when the United States of America was on the rise. They were astoundingly popular. …They’re like the glossy version of the “you and me.” They’re the decently (and genuinely not just hyped-up) good-looking, reasonably intelligent, American-Irish Catholic cool-kids who are also super down-to-Earth…who are also malignant narcissists sometimes. …Elliott Roosevelt was better looking…but…albeit nobody in America gave a damn. He was a real elite…not an approachable, relatable, “chill” Kennedy.
Optimistic by Radiohead plays.
When Lacey was in love with Scott…after almost dying twice, once during childbirth and once after from undiagnosed hypothyroidism that affected her heart and would have given her a lethal heart attack if left alone for more than a year, she shocked Joe. He didn’t anticipate her falling in love with a real ghost.
He had appeared to her in a dream. He had…guided her reading and created a magnificent image of himself that was seared into her mind…but he didn’t understand her profound need and desire for true love. Epic, breathtaking love. Scott…on the other hand…literally wrote a book on it. An American classic.
The Suburbs (Continued) by Arcade Fire plays.
Lacey didn’t care that Scott was old. And dead. She adored him. And he found great comfort in her tranquil need for his love. They’re a lot alike.
“Who did I dream about? It was Scott!” Lacey thought. She had mistaken Joe for F. Scott Fitzgerald. Or had Scott taken a second of her mind that morning…if only to teach Joe a lesson? God knows. You can’t give a girl merely dreams of you…
No. You can’t.
You can’t feed your children merely dreams Joe. Right? You can’t give your would-be wife in Heaven silly ideas…with no clear hope.
Joe scared off living men who would have fancied Lacey. And…now…it’s too late. It really is. Everyone is married or dead, essentially. And she had no chance to be happy for herself almost at all. …I mean…Mary Richardson killed herself.
*Harold eats a Dorito*
Yup. Tasty. But…it ain’t real. …And really good real food can be found if you have the money or patience or you’re just fortunate. But the American middle class loved easy, fast, tasty stuff. Doritos and so-called cheap, no-strings-attached sex.
Joe never explained to Lacey that her rare beauty meant anything to him…beyond arousing him. She knew he might have fancied her. Maybe dated her? Who knows!? Right!? …But he had no regard for her on a deep level and so…she accidentally stopped believing she was lovable by the time she was…20.
The Suburbs by Arcade Fire play. This song is…epic. Scott says so. Really. …It’s a Gen. X and Millennial masterpiece. Maybe more Millennial.
She moved past the feeling, yet again, and into the night. And no…The Suburbs isn’t about pedophilia. It’s about…grief.
Someday this song is going to be historically essential. Or historians don’t mean anything.
Listen. It’s a living funeral dirge at age 32.
What’s the feeling? It’s…hope. HOPE. It’s…any hope for life…to be normal or truly good…AT ALL. Millennials are…a very lost generation too.
The Suburbs (Continued) by Arcade Fire plays again.
So…now…Joe is without her. Forever.
How?
Well…turns out Lem Billings was heterosexual…and sex isn’t meaningless. So…when he seduced Lacey Banks in 2021…he was smart enough to know exactly what he was doing.
How?
Because he realized…in his enormous misery…what he knew in his heart all along. He realized that Lacey was his.
And now…there’s no going back. If you think otherwise you’re wrong. I’m sorry.
“I wasted it.” says Joe.
Keen to Cross the Pond 