“What You Missed” by Harold Loeb

Six Piano Pieces, by Dvorák plays.

Is Lacey Thomas Banks’s biological daughter? They have very similar personalities, profiles…body types…fingers…ears…coloring…and he calls her his daughter. Maybe she should have been his daughter if she isn’t. …Or maybe she already is.

It’s scary to some people. He was a very big deal.

Really.

And…if she is Lacey Banks from birth…then it’s not at all surprising she would have been so very haunted. Because…it’s rather upsetting she was born in 1983. And Joe…easily could have fallen in love with her. So could I! You’d be surprised how predictable it is. …I’m making her write that. She hates saying things like that.

“How do you two know each other?!” asks a reader.

“Through Lauren Bacall. Her father was very close with Humphrey Bogart. …And Lauren introduced us. Actually…lots of Hollywood people could have. Even Scott Fitzgerald himself. …But Lacey would have been close to Lauren. They’d possibly have been around the same age…and…Lacey would have seen her…half as a friend…and half as a sort of mentor. Or even quasi…older sister…or…something like that. …Too close to her age to be maternal…but married to her father’s friend. So…not quite an equal. But…not not an equal.

Lacey and her father aren’t perverts. And it’s a very old fashioned father and daughter bond. Cold by some standards today…but…close according to Queen Elizabeth II, and if I’m Harold Loeb…Lacey would agree.

…So…Lauren could be Lacey’s friend…and it isn’t weird to them. They’re…able to understand it well enough not to be scared. …So yes…even though Lauren is young…she’s still Humphrey’s wife. And…Lacey would have been her friend.

…Actually…I wonder if Lauren would have thought Lacey should have an older husband as well? Again, not because anything perverted. …No. Because to some people…like Lauren Bacall…older men like Humphrey…were simply far more fascinating than men her age. And I am Harold Loeb. Right? The Sun Also Rises was about me. …Maybe I’m actually that fascinating.

Lacey would never date a younger man. Sorry, Michael. But she would date…me. And Scott. And Louis.

Thing is…as rare as she is…she comes with idiosyncrasies. One of which…is an uncanny ability to perceive people. Scott was the same way. And yet, just like Scott, they struggle with love.

I mean…you’d think…being so inquisitive and besotted by humanity that they’d find love. Easily. …But that’s simply not the case.

Scott was troubled by Zelda’s mental illness. Overwrought by it. He was…destroyed by it. It consumed and then killed him. …Lacey is alone. Mind-bending in her lack of companionship in life. …As deep and beautiful as their souls are…they were both doomed.

Scott loved Zelda. Lacey loves. Oh well. Oh well. …Oh well?

Huh. Maybe not.

…God is a God of justice indeed.

See…everyone dies. It’s inevitable, mostly. And God knows that. …So let’s just think for a second. Could it be that what you’ve read on this blog is accurate? Frighteningly accurate.

How about we be…snoopy?

As an author…I’m very intrigued by drama in real life. So for my sake, let’s watch. I’m asking God for help, but I’d like to try to guess too. I’ll write what I both am being shown would have happened and did happen.

Piano Concerto No. 2 in F: Andante by Shostakovich plays.

I bet Lacey would have been born in 1918. And been basically the same exact person she is now. A few differences. But not that many.

Joe would have met her and been expected to take her very seriously. As in, it would have bordered on being an arranged marriage. …And given her natural beauty and intelligence and sweetness…he would have been exceedingly happy. He would have thought life was grand. And she would have thought he was perfect. Well…at first. But…her glorious admiration and beauty would have pushed them down the aisle. Committing to her with her background would have made him feel…like getting married. And he rarely felt in the mood to get married. Her father was…the perfect father-in-law given his aspirations and his own background. She’d have to lie about certain things..but lying about her would have been as easy as lying about himself. And her father did own a lucrative, very chic nightclub. …The press would have focused on his Hollywood connections in lieu of his criminal activities at behest of JP Kennedy. Easy! …And with the right wheels greased…Tom would have been extremely protective of his son-in-law. Joe would have…possibly enjoyed pleasing two fathers instead of just one. And by pleasing I mean impressing, making proud and being guided and loved by. And then Lacey and all her beauty and charm and nobility and sweetness and love. …No. Joe wouldn’t have played with fire in England. But if he decided to fly a plane…and volunteer for service there as he did…he’d have met Pat Wilson, no doubt. And…he might have been involved with her, regardless.

Ahh! Why? Well…my dear readers…that is Joe’s undoing.

Sleepwalk by Santo & Johnny plays.

So…if Lacey met Lem…how does she become his wife instead of Joe’s? Well…

If You Were Mine as performed by Billie Holiday plays. And it plays for Lacey and Lem. Alone. Where?

Ahh…

Well. …See…Joe would have left her. With Lem. Thinking Lem was a real homosexual. Not everyone is as good at picking-up on details like Scott and Lacey. The tiny details of an expression. A fake smile versus a good one. A real homosexual versus a rather…peculiar one. …Scott and Lacey don’t read people, but rather they analyze them down to their still perceivable but already invisible traits with quickness and excruciating honesty. I’d try to stop them…but they both enjoy it.

So…Lacey puts on a Billie Holiday recording on the record player. Lem sits on a sofa. And they awkwardly fall in love.

No. Lacey doesn’t start it. Unless you count the fact that she’s attracted to him.

He offers to rub her shoulders. Why? Because she’s got a headache from anxiety. And she was told “not to worry about Lem” by Joe right before he left for the night. Left to go out with friends into Boston for the weekend without her. Why doesn’t she go with him into Boston? Because they’re going to see girls. Of course. Yes. Some actress maybe? Possibly Katharine Hepburn. …And…his excuse is that he just wants to be alone for the weekend and spend time with his friends by himself. Yes, men said stuff like that back then too. But…Lacey knows better. It’s very difficult to cheat on Lacey and get away with it. As it should be. But Joe somehow didn’t anticipate that either.

And…being so sexually repressed by himself…Lem explodes. Lacey is far better looking than most girls the Kennedys ever brought around. Ever. More…sexual. But…she’s still so nice, and well-bred and kind too. And Lem…just loses his control of himself. Marilyn was loose and from the lower class.

Codex by Radiohead plays.

Grace Kelly was exceptionally pretty but…he finds Lacey prettier. And they’re such different people. Even if they have similarities. …He loves Lacey.

Gene Tierney is…beautiful…but…Lacey is still so different.

…Jackie was lovely too. But again, not quite his type entirely. Sorry.

…No. Lacey wasn’t there. None of those women were like her. And Gloria Swanson was too old, even she’s closer to Lem’s type, believe it or not.

So…Lem explodes with passion. And they make love. …And that’s the end. Tom would have secretly been relieved.

Lem doesn’t…fit every one of Tom’s requirements. But he’s not a bad choice, in Tom’s opinion, should this all be accurate. And I’m saying it is. …Lem was poor…but Ivy League educated, from a great family, and clearly madly in love with his daughter. And Tom likes Lem’s personality.

Tom and I get along well too. Tom and Scott sort of do. …He never trusted Joe…even though he found him charming. Louis isn’t his favorite, but he’d have to be close to it. He wants what’s best for his daughter though. And he loves Lem. …Elliott scared him. He wasn’t worried about Elliott in any of their social connections…but rather…he worried Elliott might break Lacey’s heart. Michael has his respect…and he wants what’s best for him and Lacey both. Obviously, they are close as well.

…Lem…is…painful. Possibly because he has him…instead of Lacey. But Lem and Lacey are so much alike. So…he reminds Tom of his daughter…and Tom feels grief. But at times it’s definitely fun too. Once he took care of Lem as a child. He had to discipline him and…Lacey would be shocked by how much her parenting style resembles Tom’s. Lem gained respect for Tom that day.

I’m sorry you’re not all like Scott and Lacey. Scott knew Lem was straight too.