“Be Careful“ by Harold Loeb

The Suburbs by Arcade Fire plays.

Lem was left alone many times by Jack Kennedy, like at his wedding. So when Lem says “Thanks to Jack Kennedy I was never alone.” it’s absolute rubbish. You’re so gullible, if you believed him. Sorry, I have to say it. …Many times during Lem’s life Jack left him painfully alone if Lem was at all attached to him in any sexual or romantic way of any variety.

“But Harold some people are polyamorous!” says a reader.

“Yeah. Okay. But…you’re not supposed to be excluded then either. You’re supposed to have a clear role and commitment to still create a stable attachment…or it’s complete fabricated nonsense. …What was Lem’s role during Jack’s wedding? Other than as an usher!? He didn’t have one. If you look at their body language…you can read that while Lem doesn’t have any romantic or sexual pain in his eyes…he is…alone. Jack reads as solely focused on himself and Jackie and their moment together. Anyone else disappears. …Even if he had made some sort of agreement with Lem…for all intents and purposes it’s meaningless. He took Lem as an absolute fool if such an agreement was ever made…and there’s no way Lem wouldn’t have felt that. The whole point of fidelity is to feel loved…on a spiritual level…even while you’re separated from your partner. It’s a sort of supernatural attachment, believe it or not. …Both the Catholic Church and the Illuminati, if it exists, understand it. It’s magic to the Illuminati and God to the Catholic Church.

Look…there’s no way Lem wouldn’t have been sad at Jack’s wedding. Jack left Lem…in reality…at his wedding. And Lem’s bizarre behavior if he was at all homosexual…is one of absolute disregard, disinterest, personal happiness and peace. It’s not at all possible…unless Lem truly didn’t give a shit about Jack in any romantic or sexual way at all. Not just “in that moment” but ever. Because in that moment Jack would have been making all previous and future attachments…entirely suspect. That’s just reality. It…was…a…WEDDING. …Grow-up. Weddings are real. They do count. They do matter. …What one is truly thinking or feeling at them makes them whatever they are or are not. But the concept of a real wedding is real, common, and often practiced perfectly well…

Listen…people lie. Suicidal men lie. Cheating people lie. …But smiles don’t hide it…if you look closely enough. And if you’re not aware enough like Lacey Banks and Scott Fitzgerald…then you’re not like them…and you have to adjust for that. Some people can almost always see it…and you should be able to see something if you can see anything that deep. It’s not there for Lem at all that day. At all. He looks sad…possibly drunk…but his sadness isn’t romantic. Yes, it’s that distinct and obvious. Really. …Romantic sadness has a distinct look in the human eye. It’s often mixed with some rage.

Succession (Main Theme from Season 2) by Nicholas Britell plays. Yes, it took an Englishman to write this song. And don’t forget it. This is English music.

Let’s listen to the rest of the season’s music.

Lem’s sadness that day was…the sadness of a man who feels as if his life is passing him by. He looks not at all hurt by Jack…so much as sad that it’s not him getting married to someone. He doesn’t seem jealous over Jack at all…so much as sad that he’s losing his gig. It’s rather dysfunctional actually. Because he treats Jack like…an occupation, emotionally. He doesn’t seem sad at all that Jack is with Jackie… Not at all. Rather…he looks like he’s feeling lost given his new ambiguous role. What the hell is he supposed to be doing? And it isn’t cover for romantic or sexual love…but rather…a sense of dismay at a loss of purpose or direction. He looks lost on occasion at Jack’s wedding…not hurt. His smiles…are sincere. His body language looks sincere, not forced or deceitful. His smiles are sincere. He’s genuinely happy for Jack. …And people know that! …Which is why the whole thing is vile. Your stupidity…if you’ve ever seen those photos…is vile…or you’ve been vaccinated against the truth by Bobby Kennedy Junior and his living family who may have all been vaccinated against reality themselves on occasion. No. Lem might have been slightly upset by…aging…but…there’s no hurt. He doesn’t look hurt by Jack at all.

“But couldn’t he have been hurt by him somehow!?” asks a desperate reader. “You just don’t know!!!”

That’s not how emotions work. …He’s not two separate people. He’s one person. So in the moments when he’s near Jack and there’s no jealousy as Jack ignores him and pays more attention to Jackie at their wedding…still make no sense if Lem wasn’t straight. …Look…the sadness really does read as something other than romantic or sexual in any homosexual way at Jacks wedding.

“No! You can’t be that good at it! No! Lacey can’t be that good at it! Nobody can be that good at it!!” yells a herd of violently angry living people.

“Ahh…but we are. …Some people are that good.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Scott Fitzgerald is F. Scott Fitzgerald. I’m Harold Loeb. And Lacey was my soulmate…and lover. …She’s that perceptive too. I’m sorry.

Andante Con Moto – Piano and Strings “Vaulter” by Nicholas Britell plays.

Speaking of which, I’m not ugly.

I was very handsome! And I made love to Lacey. …She knows how much I miss her. How much I would try to amend for the unfortunate business with Brett Ashley…and yet she doesn’t return to me. …I’m straight. And…I’m very impressive. …And she could be great friends with Scott and Zelda…in 1920’s Paris. Her life could be Midnight In Paris with me as her genuine, adoring lover… Actually…she could be absorbed into history almost…and possibly be incredibly happy. There’s no reason…for her to be narcissistically attached to lies she tells herself about Lem. The people who are pathetically prone to that delusional narrative are beyond obnoxious. …They make me want to rip my own hair out with their profound conceit, gross arrogance, and shocking disorder.

(Adult content below)

But then I stop and wonder. Are they just ignorant?!

Do you have any idea who I am?! Or do you know who I am and you have some tragic idea that I’m bad in bed or something!? Wow! …I’m not! …Brett Ashley didn’t sleep with me because I was advertised as being bad in bed. She slept with me because…well…she surmised I was very good in bed, very handsome…and extremely rich. Brett Ashley used me. Lacey just wants to make love when she’s with me…and we have. …She’s my soulmate. I adore her. Or have adored her.

No. There’s no way out. I’ve trapped you.

What in Hell makes you think I don’t exist or matter? I’m a ghost. …Lem is a ghost. …Or we’re demons, more than likely. And…we’re not the same energetic blob. …Lem and I are two separate people. …I don’t cease to exist when Lacey stops writing about me. …She’s interpreting my words or God is letting me use her living brain and fingers or some combination of both. …I’ve possessed her while we were making love…and it was amazing. No. A dead human man could enjoy that too, not just a demon…and I’m a dead human man. It’s incredibly romantic…and sexy.

I’m not some bumbling middle class guy in a parked car as a lover.

And…I’m not her only former lover…who still finds her love…alluring.

Louis still does as well. Michael has to fight to stay away from her. Elliott has to fight to stay away from her. …Joe has lost the fight and embarrassed himself on occasion. And as long as she’s alive there’s not much she can do about it easily. Lem knows that. It’s torment for him…to a point.

“But it isn’t real! And her attack on homosexuality is glaring!” says MSNBC.

“Yeah. Right?” asks a poor white man. “Not that I mind. I’m southern. I’m conservative. And I find it appropriate. …But I didn’t think she was necessarily being serious.”

“Well…no. I mean, as an expert in theology and New Age philosophy…I’m super informed. …I mean…there could be an Illuminati…but I find it…pretty unlikely. I’ve done research.” says a New Age guru Gen. X woman.

Let Me Blow Your Mind as covered by Shawn Lee’s Ping Pong Orchestra plays on behalf of the Chinese Illuminati as a playful response.

“It’s probably better than you think.” says China. “Their sex…seems to be real sex. We’ve listened. It’s…actually…disturbingly real to those who hate her. And reassuring to those who don’t.”

La vie en rose by Louis Armstrong plays.

“But she’s in love with Lem! …And therefore she’d lie!” says MSNBC.

“Yeah. She’s in love with him. In love. Think about what you’re accidentally implying. …Your premise only makes sense…if she’s without other men who want her as much or more than he does…if she’s just mistaken or lying.” says Harold.

“No. She’s icky. …I’m better than her! There’s no way she’d be loved by these famous people!” say a herd of narcissists.

“No! Hold on! …That’s a blatant lie!” says MSNBC. “She’s…extremely beautiful. That’s fact. …Stop lying about that one. …We literally can’t afford it anymore!”

A poor southern man erupts in laughter. “Damn! Casi was angry.” he says. “Look…if y’all are real…we played you! That’s right. She played y’all. Casi did. …Somewhere in her subconscious. …She picked a huge fight for a damn good reason. She was trying to get at y’all or something. …Or see what would happen. You know? …That’s what a grown white southern woman knows when she was raised like Casi. …That’s what I bet!” says the poor southern white man.

“Okay. No. Lem isn’t rationally anything but heterosexual. I’m sorry. …He does look to authentically happy at Jack’s wedding to have been in love with him at all. …His eyes aren’t hiding any of that sort of sadness or despair or jealousy or rage or hurt… They just aren’t. …We’ve shown her endless examples of gay men, closeted gay men, men who were suicidal and smiling, men who are bisexual, men who are pansexual, men who are transgender. …There’s no real evidence at all…that Lem was actually gay…at all. …We don’t have evidence. WE don’t have evidence. …It’s US! We are the ones who lack real evidence! …All we have is hearsay and anecdotal, suspect, second-hand storylines. There’s no smoking bullet on our side. Stop being delusional and believing there is one.” says Tucker Carlson.

“But if that’s true…then my spiritual gut sense is that we’re wrong about a lot of other important stuff too. …And I can’t fathom- I can’t begin to tell you how serious that actually really is. …We could go bankrupt as a country.” says Chris Hayes. “YES! Bankrupt.”

“No. It’s not there. He’s too happy. That’s just reality. Sorry.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald, after studying the photos of Lem from Jack’s wedding again meticulously.

“Okay! But she avoids things!” says Chris Hayes.

“Like what!?” asks MSNBC.

“Like an MRI.” says Chris Hayes.

“She hates going to doctors. Her generation always did. …It’s actually a survival instinct.” says Scott Fitzgerald. “They believe doctors…but they always took what doctors said with a grain of salt. …And actually…her instinct to do that saved her son’s life. And her own. ..What else you got?!”

“What is she hiding from us about her brain? If we’re not more elite than her?” asks MSNBC.

“Wow!” says the poor white southern man.

Época by Gotan Project plays.

“Nothing you’d be able to interpret.” says Mayo Clinic. “But…there’s something about it that’s scary to her nonetheless. …I think it’s possible she’s trying to protect you too.”

“Yeah! Like if she has a skull abnormality that suggests a skull fracture in her previous life? How would you explain that? Or…if it’s something that would make her seem less competent than she is. She has a high IQ…but what if…there’s something that would make that seem impossible? Which isn’t likely. But…something on a gut level worries her. It’s possible she can’t figure out what it is consciously at all.”

“Then…what are we going to do!?” asks a liberal in the Illuminati. “It’s crunch time.”

“I wasn’t gay. And we make love. Because she’s my twin flame, in a Christian sense.” says Lem Billings. “She only used to imagine I was gay, just like you. Because I thought I was gay. But I wasn’t. I’m sorry. I imitated gay men, but I wasn’t a gay man.”

“Okay. But we still sense a spiritual wave of doubt!” says MSNBC.

“Yeah! People can be confused or ignorant or misunderstand. …But when Lacey listens to the wave…she hears nothing. It’s a wave. It’s a spiritual wave. What’s in it that matters?” says Lem Billings, himself.

Daylight by David Kushner plays.

“There’s nothing there!?” asks Bobby.

“No. And instead…you keep missing me.” says Harold Loeb.

“Do you all understand what you’re insisting on? You’re really just trying to obliterate her soul. You’re just trying to destroy her very essence. …You have no moral authority. You have NO ethical authority. You’re brainwashed fools!!” yells Harold Loeb.

“Dammit. We can’t afford to help America.” says Iran. “Y’all will have to save yourselves. Sorry.”

Tsar Putin laughs.

A black liberal woman laughs at Lacey.

“Shut-up! …We actually are that broke!” says Elon Musk to the liberal black American woman.

“Shiiit!” says a poor white southern woman, laughing. “Y’all fucked-up!”

Apologize by OneRepublic plays as sung by Bobby Kennedy Senior to the DNC.

“I think you all are impressed with the Kennedys. And you imagine Jack…was…loved from some mythical point of view by Lem. Much like all of you. Because you don’t realize he was actually there. …And he’d have had to have a real relationship with Jack. Like…actually have real sex with him regularly. But according to aural testimony from Lem’s supposed one time confidant and acquaintance…Lem just gave Jack oral sex and never received anything in response.

…And yes. Those photos of Lem smiling are incontrovertible proof…to the CIA. Well…the part of the CIA that would know.” says Fox News.

“That’s not- No!” whines Bobby Junior. “Look…”. He flounders. Cries. “FUCK YOU!” he yells at some unknown group of people.

“There! That fixed it!” says MSNBC.

“What the Hell are you doing to Lacey’s spirit right now!?” yells the Catholic Church.

“Oh! Just…catching her at her lies.” says Chris Hayes.

“No! You’re trying to pull her spirit out of her body. …She can feel it.” says Catholic Church.

“Hey! Maybe Lem really wasn’t gay!” says a group of Millennial gay men, with some panic and fear. “Hey!! It’s cool! Right!? Maybe Lem really wasn’t gay!!”

MSNBC looks at them dumbfounded.

“What are we doing now!?” asks a wizard of the Illuminati witches still messing with Lacey’s spirit.

“Umm…we’re trying to make Harold Loeb her twin flame.” says a witch, smiling.

Later.

“You can’t do that.” says a reader. “Wow! These people have no idea what they’re doing.” they say to themselves. “See! I’d think being in the Illuminati you’d all have to be experts. But I think some of you are actresses and models who think you’re experts in witchcraft when really you’re just Hollywood stars.”

Succession (Main Theme) by Nicholas Britell from Season One plays.

“No! You can’t make people other people’s twin flames. Wow!” says a Jew.

“Why do so many of you hate her so damn much? …Look. I really was straight. I really am her twin flame. …Why do you hate us?” asks Lem.

“Boom!” says a poor white southern woman in the US. “He said it. Be honest!”

A group of liberals look awkward. Scatter in embarrassment.

“No. Y’all started this conversation. Let’s have it!” says a poor white southern woman in the American Appalachian Mountains.

Langsam “We Gave It a Go” by Nicholas Britell plays.

“I know why.” says a dead woman from the future. “But Lacey would never believe it. And someday when she’s dead…she’ll see it. But then it’s too late.” She cries.

“Are you by any chance of English origin?” asks a wizard in the Illuminati.

“Yes! Some.” she says.

“Of course.” says Great Britain. “It is sad though! Isn’t it!?”

“It’s wrong!” she says from the future.

Lento Nobile + Lento Pizzicato by Nicholas Britell plays.

“Jack got far in separating Lacey and Lem. But…Lem isn’t that evil and he loved her. He loved God, ultimately. …And so…Jack couldny destroy his soul.” says Harold Loeb. “Think of me as Sebastian form Cruel Intentions…but not evil, necessarily. Or as bourgeois. Or as stupid.”

Phone Call by Nicholas Britell plays.

“I got an interesting phone call from Lacey once. …And if Lem had ceased to exist…as himself…as Jack had violently demanded of God…I’ll tell you what would have happened. It’s not what you or Jack would want.”

And at that Joe Kennedy Junior can’t get ahold of Pat Wilson. It terrifies him.

“Dammit! You people don’t know when to stop.” says a middle class reader to the Illuminati. He lives in the American Midwest. “Hidden in here is an important possibility that you’ve all been responsible for the most tragic moments in history. From the future. Because you’re all ripping apart time and space…just to satisfy your demonic egos.”

Stubbornly, “No. Lem was gay!!” says the DNC and Joe Biden.

“I’m out. I’m not convinced of it anymore.” says the Green Party. “For real. It’s too fucking weird. And…to be honest…he might not seem as genuinely gay as you say. …Really. It’s not what you want it to be. It’s what’s there. And I don’t see him seeming homosexual like you insist. You’re blustering and drinking your own Kool-Aid.”

Later.

“If she really loved Harold Loeb…she’d make Lem be gay!” say the Boomer Kennedys, in complete sincerity. “She’s a LIAR!”

“You can’t make something like that happen!” says Tucker Carlson.

“Come on!” say the Boomer Kennedys.

“No. You can’t use witchcraft to alter someone’s sexual orientation.” says a witch in the Illuminati.

“I’d never let her! Neither would God.” says Lem.

“Shut-up, Lem! You’re gay!” say the Boomer Kennedys, laughing like they’re laughing with him.

“You guys. He’s not laughing.” says MSNBC.

“Not true!!! …Do you have any idea how important we are!!?” indignantly ask the Boomer Kennedys.

“No, but see he’s saying he’s straight and was.” says a black liberal man.

And at that several of them involuntarily burst out in tears.

“See! Now you made us cry! …You made the children of slain Kennedys cry! …You have no shame and no heart!” say the Boomer Kennedys.

The Green Party stares blankly at them in response this time.

“FUCK YOU!” yells a female Boomer Kennedy at the Green Party.

“So…that’s sad. They don’t seem sane.” says the GOP about the Boomer Kennedys.

The Reform Party eats Cheetos. It’s Super Bowl food.

“Why isn’t Lem gay?” asks Donald Trump.

“Because it’s illogical nonsense to believe he is.” says a wealthy white woman.

“Yeah. And we can be careful. Of course! …But there’s no reason to cling to that belief. The only reason you would is if you’re emotionally incapable of thinking clearly about the issue. …And I think the living Boomer Kennedys are that emotional and distraught and irrational about the topic. …They’re not of sound mind when it comes to the matter of Lem Billings’s sexual orientation.” says Donald Trump. “We have to let that go. We can’t rely on them to know that or tell us the ultimate truth.”