“Why Lacey is Angry” by Lem Billings

We’ve misinformed her.

“Yeah. You really did!” scowls Louis.

Lacey is confused.

Problem is she’s physically perfect…according to me and millions of other men in my generation. We wouldn’t want her to have bigger anything or different anything. But she doesn’t believe that based on her living experience. And instead of being flattered she’s irate.

She finds men idiotic but she’d straight. And while some women today might be humorous about that to her…it’s a genuine travesty to find men idiotic. It makes her want to destroy all of humanity. It’s not funny to her. She literally wants to blow-up everyone. And Tsar Putin empathizes with her.

“They’re weird. Not us.” Tsar Putin might say to Lacey.

Anyway…he’s older. And genetically correct for her. Although…I’m far more interested even though I’m dead.

And actually that’s another thing. She’s baffled by my response to her beauty.

Why didn’t I come on to other women? …Let’s have a heart to heart. No! Really. Because I’m a real person and I’m dead. And I’m not gay and never was. …I was straight. It’s a lot easier to believe I was bisexual…but I was actually heterosexual.