HoneyFitz Hands Er’ Off

Calm Down by Josh Vietti plays.

If there’s reincarnation…HoneyFitz imitated Lem and sent Lacey into a life she had no interest or intention in living. So…Lacey literally isn’t supposed to be here…if there’s reincarnation in the Bible.

But Tom is her dad. And Tom Banks loves his little dumpling.

“I was so happy! I can’t help but think the smile you see in this photo was due to the memory of my actual father. I was so happy.” says Lacey Banks.

“Yeah. If she was daughter I have good memories of holding her. And giving her lots of warm bottles.” says Tom. “The thing is…she wasn’t happy in this photo. The photographer kept harassing her to smile. And it pissed her off. It really pissed her off.

So she…started weeping and screaming. And instead of being respectful they kept talking down to her and forcing her to smile. But if that’s my daughter she didn’t feel like smiling. Those smiles were reserved for daddy, Thelma and maybe a few other people who actually loved her. People who actually made her laugh.

And so maybe that was one moment when she realized that she was entirely alone in the world. And so she braced herself and made the best of it.

Isn’t that amazing!?” says Tom Banks.

“You guys…Jack’s dead.” says a reader. “She’s really not Jack.”

Glory Box by Portishead plays.

“Nah. Jack gotta be around her somewheres!” somebody has said since his death.

“Yeah! It just doesn’t feel like he’s dead!” says another person.

“Yeah! They aren’t dead. Not yet!” says a part of Bobby Kennedy Junior’s mind.

A reader laughs.

“Umm…Lacey…your dad died from natural causes when you were about three.” says a reader.

“Don’t remind her!” says Lem, fuming.

“We had to.” says the reader. “To make a point.”

“Yeah! Okay! We’ll see!” says Lem.

“Honestly I wanna call your dad a cunt.” says Justin Timberlake. “But that’s…obviously not what he was. …Why!?”

“Does it scare you?” asks Tom Banks.

“Yeah!” says Justin Timberlake.

Tom thinks. “You know part of it is just genetics.” He raises his eyebrows. “Men like me…don’t necessarily exist at all anymore. So you might not have any subconscious references to use to orientate your mind and place me in some appropriate box of types of people. I’m not there. I’m not someone you would know.”

“Yeah! And to us you look like a cunt.” says Justin Timberlake.

“Geez! Really? …You’ve never seen Old Hollywood!?” says Lacey.

“See! That’s Mr. George Cuckor! He looks like my father. Lots of those men do. …They weren’t all cunts.” says Lacey.

They laugh with Lacey. The men from Old Hollywood.

“Why was I starring in a movie about my mother!?” asks Tom Cruise. “If there’s reincarnation. It’s weird. …Even if she’s not literally my mom…it’s still too damn creepy.”

“I agree.” says Louis Hill Junior.

“Well…you’re a brilliant actor!” says George Cuckor.

“Yeah! But I’d like to think some other film could have been made.” says Tom Cruise.

“It could have been!!” says George Cuckor.

“Would it have been about the Illuminati?” asks Tom Cruise.

George Cuckor thinks. “It would have easily been better. Probably something about the Illuminati. You’re a brilliant actor. …You’d have made it amazing.”

“He would have!!” says Louis.

Passion by Nightmares On Wax plays.

“I tore apart a bracelet this morning that was…reminiscent of the rape Jack performed on my organs. And forced me to endure in a myriad of other ways. …It was nice to rip it apart. But now Lacey is…missing a bracelet.” says Lem Billings.

“Tom…you made Eyes Wide Shut what it was. You and Nicole and the others. Really. You made it…amazing. Thank you.” says a reader.

“We needed to see that. Thank you!!!” says another reader.

“You all…made human history matter to ourselves. If there’s an Illuminati. You’re our heroes.” says another reader.

“It matters regardless of whether or not I made you see it.” says Tom Cruise.

“Yeah. Okay. …Thank you.” say sad humans.

Mona Lisa by Josh Vietti plays.