Penelope

Turns out Penelope Keith really wants to murder Lacey. Lacey was being sincere and loving and found a way to explain how beautiful she was compared to Penelope who then decided to try to choke Lacey on an ice cube. Literally the actress did that. And it didn’t work, but she really wanted to kill Lacey.

“Penelope you are ugly. You have boobs that are bigger but they’re not better and you really are ugly. There’s a slight highness to your cheekbones like Lacey and people see a similarity…but because you’re ugly they use you to insult her.“ says Lem Billings.

“Your husband is ugly too, but you do cheat on him don’t you and he looks the other way for some stupid reason.” says Lem.

“I think really what it is is that I am an Englishwoman and English people are ugly and annoying and dim and crappy! And I refuse to believe that we are beautiful and elite like you and Helena.” says Penelope on truth serum to Lacey.

“Well some of us are beautiful and some of us are not.

I am, so is Lacey and so is Helena. You weren’t born into the upper class. Mayne the upper class isn’t as ugly as they’ve been said to be.” says Rachel Ward.

“How about we just say this, if a Kennedy man has tried to sleep with you and you’re an English you’re probably pretty good-looking at least. I am sorry Penelope but we would’ve never tried to sleep with you.” says David A. Kennedy (he dated Rachel Ward before she was married).

“I heard you say, ‘OK fine I’m not that beautiful.’ Yep that’s true. I’ve been very nice to you for about 24 hours practically, is there something you want? You just tried to kill me Penelope.“ says Lacey.

“You don’t think women really suffer for being ugly at all do you?” says Penelope to Lacey.

“I’ve never seen any evidence for it, possibly ever in my entire life.” says Lacey. She thinks. “OK maybe a few times that’s it and it wasn’t particularly painful. Compared to what I’ve experienced it was almost nothing.”

“I lied and pretended to be you extraordinarily well…I don’t think I channeled your energy but I probably did something if you’ve been reincarnated…and people gave me the benefit of the doubt. No, I’m a terrible person possibly. Thank God I have the sanity to say that at least. I don’t- I have-I’ve been very bullied.” says Penelope Keith.

“By who? Your husband, who loves you? Random people on the street? Who bullies you?” says Lacey.

“ oh, when I say I have channels you well, I don’t mean that I like you or that you’re like me but it’s just the tone of voice in the way you hold your face and your body. It’s probably a little creepy, especially in the one with the green dress I look like you, I mean you’re infinitely better looking than me but I I do look like I’m in personating you very creepy way. Who bullies me?

*pause*

A lot of people.

A lot of people a lot of people a lot of people have bullied me and a lot of people have believe me it’s just it’s like everywhere I go people are cruel and I look down on me and and I know they’re right which is why it’s so mean because there’s nothing I can do it, and that’s possibly part of where I develop my character was standing up for myself. No no oh wow if you’re retarded it’s terrible that I’m talking to you. I probably may be literally channeled your character in some very sick. Disgusting because I’m ugly compared to you and you think where the hell is you using my energy extraordinarily beautiful and this was not people are humoring her. Are they what the fuck is going on or something? I don’t know indeed.” says Penelope.

“ do you know I wonder if you also were channeling Zelda Fitzgerald you look a lot like Zelda and you look a lot like Zelda better worse in the fall road you to look a lot alike and your personalities are so much similar and I think I think she would’ve known who I am, even if I’m not reincarnated, but if I am, I don’t know what that was all about but it’s interesting.” says Lacey. “ you do you look so much like her especially she aged it’s amazing it’s stupid that they never had you play Zelda. I mean you’ve got her nailed. I have a feeling she would’ve tried to kill me with an ice cube too.

“So why do you think it is?” asks Penelope.

“I don’t know. I genuinely can’t tell. People are nice to you. But they are petty and they do have vile habits.

And…yet…they humor you.” says Lacey.

“You’re too friendly.” says Penelope.

“Wait. You’re a narcissist. Do you mean that about you or me?” asks Lacey.

“Are people humoring me?” asks Penelope.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“They like me!” says Penelope.

“YES! They do.” says Lacey.

“I’m sorry they don’t like you.” says Penelope.

“Yes.” says Lacey sadly. She thinks. “Any idea why?”

“Narcissistic treat?” asks Penelope.

“No. But…you can use that.” says Lacey.

“You’re too pretty.” says Penelope.

“And wholesome.” says Lacey.

Penelope laughs.

“No. It’s true.” says Lacey.

“Why are they so mean though?” says Penelope.

“I’m sorry you’ve been so bullied!!

Dammit!

Yeah.

You know…it’s weird!” says Lacey.

“It almost seems like a conspiracy.” says Lem.

“Is it normal is it…new?” says Lacey.

“It’s not necessarily normal.” says Lem.

Later.

Lacey is shocked by how easily she can hope to be at peace with a woman who just possibly tried to kill her…with an ice cube. Why does she have grace for her? Or rather why does Penelope know how to think?

“Other people know how to think too!” says another British actress.

“Yes! But…I’m not used to it being this easy.” says Lacey.