“Spies” by Keith Craft

Spies by Coldplay plays.

I was killed by the Illuminati? Maybe.

So was Mathew Nesheim?

Lacey is angry.

I’m angry too.

So…we’re now going to compile a list of people we suspect are “spies” in our one big Bakken Family. The Nesheims.

1. Matthew Nesheim’s wife

2. Joni Aadahl’s husband

3. Danielle Anderson

4. Jess Seay

5. Laureen Seay

6. Corrine Seay

7. Karen Craft (second wife of Curt)

8. Gwen’s Harvard Medical School son-in-law

9. David Kaald

10. Mike Craft’s former second wife

11.

We’ll think of more. But that’s our start. Lacey might not agree with all of those choices. Really. But I’m dead and I’m leaving it at that.

What’s a spy?

Well it’s…a gold-digger. Not someone who was poor growing-up. Or even middle class. It’s someone who…has any significant amount of evil in their heart on the matter of money and status and prestige in regard to marriage to a person from the upper class or from any significant amount of money more than their own.

Why would the gold-diggers in our family be spies? Because…they aren’t necessarily loyal from the start. They aren’t completely well-intentioned. And…then…they have a choice. They can love their spouse or they can choose to be evil and totally disruptive to the entire family. …Money is enticing. Money is an aphrodisiac, especially for women. But…when you calculate it all…with premeditated intent and a greedy mindset it can make the whole marriage off.

Curt’s wife will find this offensive. Lacey and I can’t help that. She’ll have to go talk to God. Because He knows her true heart intent. We can’t tell for sure. But she looks suspicious…to everyone…and always has. Hopefully…she’s in a good place with God either way.

Matthew’s wife…is…another troubling spot. She looks suspicious and always has. And now he’s dead. I committed suicide too. …I know the truth. And…it’s always sad in some way.

“What do you think I did!?” asks Matthew of J. Edgar Hoover.

“You…iced him out. Emotionally.” says J. Edgar Hoover.

“No! I tried my hardest.” she says, crying.

“Did you!?” asks Becca Craft.

“Yes!” says Matthew’s wife.

“Yeah. I did too.” say Becca.

“With Jim!?” asks Gaynelle.

“Yeah. I did. I sure tried.” says Becca.

“Wow! Yeah. I really tried with Matthew too.” says Kate.

“Except Becca…Jim is alive.” says Ray.

“Oh really? Yeah. Okay. …Huh!” says Becca.

“Becca! That just is true!” says Ray.

“I’m not sure what we’re arguing about.” says Becca.

“Becca…Matthew is dead. Jim isn’t.” says Ray.

“I’m not dead. Am I?” asks Becca.

“As you’re saying this?” asks Ray.

“Yeah. It’s…weird. I’m just waiting. …It’s…a weird thing. I…can see God. But…not…here.

Do you think I’m dead?” says Becca.

“Becca! You’re probably in Purgatory.” says Eddy Nesheim.

“Yup! Got you.

I’m mad.

This is in the future. And this is not what I signed-up for!” says Becca. “I’m mad.”

“What do you mean?” ask the Illuminati.

“Well its weird.

I’m not really dead.” says Becca.

“No. Becca you’re dead.” says the Illuminati.

“I’m so…alive though. It’s like…I’m not seeing the difference.” says Becca.

“Why did I kill myself Kate?” asks Matthew Nesheim.

“You know Joni is actually pretty. She’s just a Christian.” says Lacey to Joni’s husband. “You know that? Right?”

“You look suspicious.” says Keith Craft.

“You killed yourself…because? I don’t know why.” says Kate.

“Yeah. Right?” says Matthew.

Spies…?

What Did You See by Cemeteries plays.