Killing Grandma

Why am I writing this? Because I’m tired of evil being in charge in the West but especially in the United States. And on this blog I aim to examine it. It’s art. And in the US we have free speech.

Is it fiction? Or is it real? …Well…what do you think?

What is art? Do we even know anymore? Do ask questions like that? Or are we too poor and too scared to care about something that “deep”?

Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky plays.

Look…if it is real…it’s not surprising. You’ve heard it all before. What have you read on here that you don’t already know? Or that you shouldn’t already know?

…Speaking of which, let’s do a quick reexamination of why we follow Lacey. Because people often instinctually follow her. Compete with her. And it’s unrequested competition, mostly.

Why? Well…yes…she’s beautiful and all that. But that’s why? Are we sure?

What if…it’s actually because she’s mom? Or she’s grandma. Literally.

Some living men aren’t as sure of that and still find her attractive. And that’s reasonable. She is only 40. But…she was never fully inculcated into the current generation…and so unless you’re very sexually keen and aware you might miss her 40 year old genes beyond the superficial so to speak, and you might have a tendency to treat her with deference like the elder she possibly is in a way. …Her genes are potentially from the late 1800’s. Almost all of those genes have died off. And yet most living humans still may instinctively regard them with deference. …And that’s often actually functional…but not necessarily when it comes to friendship and love. Someone should have loved her.

“It seems like you don’t need help.” said Lawrie Merz as explanation for why Lacey couldn’t find a good boyfriend ever and felt so extremely lonely. She believed Lacey seemed far too independent.

But Lacey isn’t quite like that. Lacey is independent but….that analysis was off.

“Yeah. Mom is still independent Lawrie. And at 24 she had particularly great mobility!” says Elliott Roosevelt, jokingly.

“But she seemed like she wanted people to back off.” says Lawrie.

“Why wouldn’t she!?” asks MSNBC.

“We don’t see her that way. At all. She seems tough. But we were all tough. …What about what she’s doing makes it feel to you like she’s pushing you all away?” asks a Greatest Generation woman, in sadness over Lacey’s life.

“She just feels…” says Lawrie, thinking.

“What!? Maternal?” asks Elliott.

“Dammit!” says Lawrie after a lot of thinking.

“Yeah. She accidentally acts and acted like one of us.” says Queen Elizabeth II. “I found a great friend in her. But…I also died of old age recently.”

“I can see her Millennial genes.” says Tucker Carlson, laughing. “But…I’m also an unusually intelligent and perceptive man.” He smiles.

“Actually you are.” says Elliott Roosevelt to him.

“So she’s super edgy.” says a Gen. X woman. “Like for a man alive today to like her…he’s got to be kind of edgy and unusual in some way.”

“Yes! And she’s also Tom Banks’s daughter.” says Nancy.

“Yes! So she has that authority as well. Inherently.” says the CIA.

“Why do we compete with her?” asks a Russian perfume collector of Nancy.

“Why? Because we’re scared that the present isn’t as good as the past.” says Nancy, shrugging. “She has loads of natural aristocratic quality. True. But…I think it’s also subconsciously about the present verses the past. …And a fear that we’re drastically not measuring up.

And you know what? I’m done. Her aristocratic family is impossible for me in my current state in the fallen world to compete with. So I’m over it. It’s pointless. …And in Heaven we’re going to be equals anyway.

And…I didn’t create the mess. Okay? I’m somewhat Hispanic. My family didn’t do this to us! …My family didn’t make us this way. We’re poor. Or we were. …What did we do? …We came here for America. …But other than that…we didn’t do anything to us. We didn’t run anything! We didn’t. …You can’t blame me on that level. I’m a victim too. And I might actually prefer her style of life and worldview to what’s going on now. …I might be mad that it’s changed.” says Nancy Nieves.

A Hispanic man cries at the wheel of a truck. He feels and hears Nancy in spirit. And agrees with her.

Within And Without by Washed Out plays.

“Closer to death!” says a white Gen. Z queer woman with glasses.

“I didn’t know she was a grandma.” says Chris Hayes.

“That’s not true!” says MSNBC. “You made jokes about her aesthetic and mannerisms. You said she reminded you of a grandma.”

“She did and does.” says Lem. “But not my grandmother or mom. My age. Look…I’m sorry…but I was heterosexual. I was far too happy and at peace at Jack’s wedding. And there’s no psychological explanation other than heterosexuality.

But regardless…she’s mine. And that’s going to become more obvious over time.

She’s not Jack. She never was. She’s always been a cis woman. And that’s just reality.

…But also…if I’m a ghost…take comfort. Just like in Portrait of Jennie from 1948…which JD Rockefeller found for her…as the genuinely loving man he actually is and was to his family at least…Lacey and I are two unhappy souls who needed divine intervention and found it.

No. It’s a myth that I was so heartbroken as a lover when Jack died. I loved him my whole life? No. Not like I could love someone romantically. Did I love him at all? …It’s debatable. And it certainly wasn’t intimate. That was either my misunderstanding or a lie.

Look…why wasn’t I sad at his wedding if I truly loved him and was so heartbroken at his death? It’s impossible. I had no reason at all to be that happy and content. It’s impossible. Truly. There’s no disorder or anything that explains it. I’m just not who you think I am.

I’m sorry.

Have you ever watched the last few episodes of The Dick Van Dyke Show before the Kennedy Assassination? It’s eerie.

Several things are mentioned that make no sense. Because who uses those words at random? And right before the Kennedy assassination? Coincidence? Non. Not all all! Not if there’s an Illuminati.

Lacey reads me as straight. She always has. And it makes me anxious now when we don’t make love. It makes her anxious too. When she dies God will address that.

But for the moment check out those episodes. I’m mentioned.

1. Lem

2. Billings

3. A reference is made to a catastrophic attack on a man’s head

4. Antonio Stradivarius is referenced and that’s an allusion to genius craftsmanship

5. The mob is referenced

6. The US Government

7. Mrs. Billings

8. Womanizing

9. Temples

10. Planning a big show

11. Molesters and rape being a problem

12. The decay of Western Society

13. Marilyn Monroe

14. Timetables

15. Concealing facts from an audience

If there’s an Illuminati…it looks like I planned JFK’s death. And it’s possible Jack wouldn’t leave me alone. He always found me. And it seemed to the psychologists at the time like I was….insane. Not gay and degenerate. But…rather…out of my mind somehow. Pitiable. They believed my life had been ruined by Jack who was…controlling my mind and abusing me sadistically. And they weren’t far off. I wasn’t homosexual. At all.

Anyway…if there’s an Illuminati…they used the Dick Van Dyke show to make a public statement. That’s potentially part of Illuminati ritual. So they used that show to illustrate their perspective and motives and plans. And then made reference to Masonic Temples. And the mob. And other people.

But most obviously and most eerily my name is referred to. Lem. And the man who is called Lem looks a bit like me. And then…they refer to my fat legs.

Lacey doesn’t like that. *smile* She thinks my legs are just muscular…and actually…she’s right. I got them from rowing at one point. But…it was a physical feature of some note and so they used that. If there’s an Illuminati.

I used to wonder if I was just shaped like a woman. With curves. You know? I even tried that aesthetic out. But…I wasn’t a woman and I wasn’t gay. …Lacey has no idea what that’s like…because she’s so sexy…and she’s been so violated almost her whole life…that she can’t understand why anyone would advertise any of their sexuality intentionally. And she’s never been loved by the living enough to see why anymore instinctually in that regard either. …She gets the concept. But on a personal level…she finds it…bizarre.

I didn’t want gay sex. But I thought that eventually if I found the right man…I might. Somehow I’d find him attractive in a different way maybe…and he’d make me happy. Or…at least…even if it wasn’t that exciting…it was my identity I thought. At least to some extent. Because I was…very distanced from reality.

If Lacey had shown up…I’d have snapped out of if. Partially out of passion. Truly. …I’d have given-up on everything and just made love…and in that desperate state I’d have come to my senses and found tragedy and humor in my…despairing hypotheses that I had somehow morphed into a gay man when I was molested by a priest or always was one and that that’s why it had happened. But…she wasn’t there…and the CIA was and they hated John Fitzgerald Kennedy?

Cleaning Apartment by Clint Mansell & Kronos Quartet plays.

No matter how convincing I look temporarily or sound temporarily…as a gay man…it’s temporary…and you can’t explain why I was happy and content at Jack’s wedding without me being secretly heterosexual. I was proud of him. I was excited. I was HAPPY. And I kept my gay façade going anyway.

And no one…noticed? Yeah right. Someone must have noticed? Hmm. Who?

I bet Red Fay who was noticeably more dour noticed. He smiled but wasn’t as happy for Jack and Jackie as I was.

But what’s most silly…is that Jack noticed…I was genuinely happy. And it made him disturbed. Because he could tell I was too relaxed and joyful to be faking it. I never look sad. And there’s no way I could have endured that long long spectacle without some sadness if I was drunk or human without some sadness showing on my face.

And yet…Jack bring a narcissist and being impaired didn’t notice or process it accurately.

So go watch The Dick Van Dyke Show in Season 3 in November before the 22nd and feel scared? Well…no. Because you already suspected something or you’ve heard of it.” says Lem Billings.

In violent denial of reality and stubborn stupidity the Kennedys dance and shake their asses to Ottoman by Vampire Weekend to look victorious and happy. Always smiling. Always happy. Always.

“I was a sourpuss. Joe Kennedy Senior hated sourpusses. He was known for saying that. But I was Lem. And Lem is just short for Lemon.” says Lem Billings. “I wasn’t one of his kids. I was too sour. Even though I too smiled all of the time. …But each smile is different. And the ones at Jack’s wedding were…real.”

Later.

“Let’s analyze.

This is arguably the most convincing gay phot ever taken of me. It’s my mouth. My eyes.

But my eyes also don’t look sincere. And…my face doesn’t match the rest of my body. My body looks straight. My face looks gay because I’m making it look that way. But my body looks straight. My overall energy is actually straight.

I was contorting my legs in this photo and trying to be gay. But if you read my face and my hands…I’m uncomfortable. I found her mildly attractive…and it was actually really awkward posing for this photo.

I’m posing gay here too. But my energy is still straight. Jack’s energy is not. He seems authentically queer and was. Where does my heterosexuality come out? In my mouth. And my chest. And feet.

I was very uncomfortable in this photo too. Jack is sexualizing it. He’s caressing me. But I’m uncomfortable touching his hands or touching him at all and you can see it in my face. I care far more about the dog than him. …I’m posing gay…but I look disturbed and my energy is straight.

I don’t look gay here almost at all. And that’s me being myself…in some part. I also didn’t have gay mannerisms as studied yet. (I’m second from the left)

I don’t look gay almost at all here either. If anything I look awkwardly straight. Jack look bisexual.

Jack is obviously the sexual aggressor here. Come on. And I look straight and irritated and weirded-out and Jack looks pleased as can be. I’m going along with it…but I look uncomfortable.

And I don’t look genuinely gay here either. Although I’m very…joyful.

Yes. Far too joyful for a man my age.

It became weird as I aged. People commented on it.

I don’t gay…really…so much as dorky and emotional and far too…innocent. My energy is actually straight here…but I’m…so unaware. And yes…I was trying to be gay. But…it would never have convinced Lacey.

I’m happy here. Why!!? That’s Jack’s wedding. I’m even touching him. And I look happier here than when he’s touching me in the other photos. I look happy or at peace in all the photos from his wedding. …I don’t actually look gay in this photo though either.

…I acted gay.

But it was an act.

Presuming Joshua Jackson is straight…is my performance much different energetically than his? No. Lacey reads him as straight the same way she reads me. Except he was a professional actor so it’s more challenging. …I did spend almost a lifetime trying to perfect my vibe though.

Here I am trying to act gay to fit in.

But I’m not really gay. And never was. At all

It’s subtle. But you can tell…I’m straight. You’ve confused my good imitation of real gay mannerisms with me being gay. I wasn’t gay. I’m sorry.

I read as straight. My gay manners are totally contrived.

I look almost gay here. But my details read as straight as does my overall energy.

…I wish that had been Lacey.

Dammit.

I’m sorry. Lacey sees it and so did others.

And that’s the thing.

I look convincingly gay here…mostly. But if you look at it just a bit differently…I look horny for a woman…and a bit like the 40 year old virgin.

Yes. The 40 Year Old Virgin.

I look weird.

It’s too damn youthful. I look way too innocent. And I was abnormally innocent.

I was molested. I was straight. And I never experienced heterosexual sex in a normal way almost at all. …I kissed four women. And each time it was out of desperation. They weren’t my type. Because I didn’t want to ruin some woman’s life with my homosexuality. So…I went on dates with women who weren’t my type and they were mediocre-at-best dates. …There was almost no sexual chemistry between us.

…I didn’t actually enjoy being gay. Because I wasn’t gay. And as I aged people noted how childlike and bizarre I seemed at times because I was…painfully inexperienced and unhappily so sexually and sex is an important part of adult life… I was sophisticated…but I couldn’t find myself as I had silenced myself…and it showed as I aged. In most circumstances.

And…I’m not like Lacey. She gives-up. Fittingly so. So…I kept hoping into my old age that she’d show-up. …Whereas…at 40…she’s…in a vastly different place. I’m a very optimistic, hopeful person. She’s…like F. Scott Fitzgerald. He died in his 40’s…never expecting to necessarily be truly happy ever again.” says Lem.

“Yeah. Okay. You look straight. But some of your facial expressions seem gay to me.” says an idiotic gay man in the Illuminati. “And I think you’re gay!”

“My body looks straight though. …And my face looks straight too. …It’s subtle. But I look straight. …I’m totally unaware of how attractive I am. It’s creepy. My pants suggest that. They’re in style…but they look weird. …And I’m not aware of that. Jack is aware of his own queerness…but I’m completely unaware of strange things to be unaware of…unless I was way too virginal for my age and level of attractiveness.” says Lem Billings. “I was very awkward.

…And Lacey Banks…instantly knows.

Did other women? Maybe at times. Would they now? No? Not as much.” says Lem. “What’s interesting is that they’ve hired bisexual-seemingly bisexual men to play me…because I think people read me and being bisexual or like men who are gay but look straight like Adam Cropper. …Lacey and-we don’t necessarily know for sure, but Lacey reads him as being bisexual…and she’s so rarely wrong that he probably is bisexual.” He thinks. “But she reads me and always has read me as not even being bisexual which Red Fay did, by the way I have to point out again. He used the word neutral, but no Lacey reads me as being straight…and honestly I-I would take that far more seriously.

I’d also like to point out that I actually wasn’t the hottest man alive. I lost hair and according to the CIA if there’s an Illuminati I had fat legs and you know I had flaws. I did. I was always very embarrassed by my height so I slouched. And when Lacey first saw me, she thought I was gross looking as I aged. But I seduced her I did, and to be honest when I was young, she thought I was the best looking man to ever exist. Or close to it at least. Now…that being said if she had been in my house and been Bobby’s friend, yeah even at 20 years old as beautiful as she is, and as mature and innocent as she is, she still would’ve been attracted to me. Isn’t that something?

Oh, that has been heartbreaking to me because it’s not common for a woman as beautiful as her to be so attracted to me. So profoundly attracted. And so when she slept with other men, it broke my heart because I don’t want to share her with anyone and she was supposed understand that, but then she was attacked by men who were trying to hurt her and hurt me both and demons and women who were evil, and she was devastated first.

(Adult content below)

She thinks of me as the boyfriend who she lost her virginity to at 16 and either got pregnant or almost got pregnant and she thinks of the flaming hot sex that we had which would’ve been otherworldly really, and assumes that all of you know better than her somehow…and that her mind-blowingly good sex with me at 16 was meaningless.

Lacey has a sense of humor about herself and I would too…but I am appalled.

You all need to stop giving her idiotic ideas about things OK? Because she’s not like you and she’s incredibly sweet and good-natured and women of her generation thought differently.” says Lem Billings.

“ do you know even if he was bisexual that is actually incredibly disturbing because I have a feeling that it really was that good and that’s where a lot of gay men are really toxic because it’s almost like they assume that the sex a woman can have is inferior, and that a bisexual man or a lesbian, or even a straight man is never going to experience the pleasure and happiness that they experience and as a lesbian, I got it we have a chip honors our shoulder and we feel the need to send out for ourselves and say no our sex is equal whatever the problem is though you guys that’s absurd like fizzy fizzy logically speaking straight socks to a straight person is as good it just us especially if they’re in love and they’re super aware of it others bodies I really don’t think that there’s any sort of gay sex that would be superior it’s just not possible so I think that’s where gay men and gay women need to sort of take it down a notch with their arrogance because it’s just bullshit so if this actually happened if they really have slept together and somehow did even possibly in a dream or something or an alternate reality when she was a teenager yelling to take that more seriously because if it really was that mine blowing there’s no way he’s like gay it’s impossible if this is actually him if he really has slept with her and it’s been that good there’s no fucking way he was gay like you can’t fake it to that extent and it’s it’s like you could you could kind of fake it, but that’s where there’s like give-and-take and I feel like there’s a Sodus there’s like a level of pleasure and happiness that is unattainable for prostitutes or someone who is even fucked up in their head like a child is being molested could be confused, but there’s a level of genuine pleasure and happiness that you can’t get to because it’s a genuine unless if it’s like genuine and then if you’re gonna question that you might as well just question the reality of reality itself like you guys need to grow up, there’s no way someone could be that happy and that in the list without it being real and that’s what your experience with her Lem’s when you were teenagers and she was your first?” says a lesbian.

“ yeah the gay community is super confused on that issue. I just have to say it we’re really backwards so don’t expect a lot.” says Casi Brooke Hart.

“ we’re not all that backward I don’t think it’s appropriate for gay actors ask straight or vice versa anymore but I made a living off of it but it actually slightly found a defensive as I’ve aged so I don’t think we’re all that backward.” says Doogie Houser. “ by the way, I think she knew I was gay or bisexual before I came out of the closet when she was like nine I think she knew is not something listen, if lamb was straight, we’ve been warned we’ve been warned, and if there’s an afterlife, and there are ghosts, we’ve been warned, I’m just saying, at least I have been. If I’m in the illuminati, I’ve been warned and if there is an afterlife, if I am a straight, I feel like God has been very respectful to me. I will not be surprised or taken aback when I die.”

“ yes I did. I had very good sex when I was about 16 who is he not Jack and that is something that’s lied about it’s in the supernatural but people lie about it or do they this is a thing if there’s an illuminati yeah it’s very likely I was somehow involved in jack stuff and so they lied about it for two reasons a they’re gullible or they have some vested interest in thinking I was gay, or be there right about it intentionally to cover up for my role in Jack’s death playing up. My supposed homosexuality is an excellent cover for a lot of shit that might’ve gone down. That’s beautiful it’s a beautiful light because if I was at all confused or anything of that sort they could use that to cover up for the fact that I was involved but yes I did I did. I had great sex when I was 16 and what I was trying to say is that she was heartbroken because she can’t imagine sex being any better than that. It’s impossible to her. I know it sounds like I’m breaking, but I’m just telling the truth, what we have is that special and then people have gone around telling her ever since that it’s nonsense and that the case text that I had with Jack was infinitely superior physiologically, psychologically spiritually aesthetically vastly superior and it’s impossible to be true and it’s absurd, but she doesn’t know that she genuinely doesn’t know that because women of her generation works Jordan early humble yeah they’re not gullible but they’re very humble they take themselves very seriously but I am they they took a very humble role what it came to leader ship and so you could tell them stuff like that, and they took it to heart and they cared an incredible amount. They were a heartbreaking my godmother‘s at times I am, the boomers. Hate their parents but not all of them and the good mothers in my generation were poor, incredibly loving and I don’t think their children get a dry when they think about them Lacey‘s like that they were mommies and you can tell your mommy things that she if she loves you and she’s a good mommy will take that seriously so you’ve all been telling your mother that the sex she had with your dad will say well that your dad, but you’ve been telling this old woman and a sense of the sex that she had with her 16 year old boyfriend was worthless shit and that you know better now that you’ve got it all figured out and you know far better than she and that’s part of her rage against all of you because that 40 she’s realized you’re full of crap but it’s entirely subconscious and she’s never processed the fact that she took you so seriously in a sort of position of motherly affection and humility thinking, of course my kids are better than me. Of course, this generation knows more than I do. I am proud of them. It was not. She wasn’t competitive she wasn’t put off. She was devastated to find out that what she thought meant. Some thing was absurd and meaningless, and as she’s began to realize that you’re full of crap, that and other issues as well subconsciously she’s become enraged and why would she be?

She’s 40 years old you fucked up her entire life to some degree with your bullshit and it’s affected her in a different way that it’s affected most people.

Because she was way out of her time and so I was one way she orientate her, dated her self sexually towards Matt. You told her that the experience she had with me was stupid immature shit sucks and it wasn’t him so she was looking for something vastly different and she shouldn’t have been, she was looking for whatever else made sense and a lot of that frankly what was Joe Junior? Her husband is a lot like Joe Junior, her legal husband, and she tend to gravitate towards men even literally named Joe and they did the same with her because that was her only other reference in her subconscious that made any sense to genuinely just freaks you out. I’m sorry but that that’s all that she had him and so front for lack of better perspective. She ended up marrying someone who is a lot like Joe oh, and they were probably a few men who were like me she just threw off the cliff because you told her that I was gay hundred percent and that would shoot experience with me was just stupid petty crap. Meeting was repulsive bullshit.

And I was straight I am I’ve been an admin always will be more attracted to her than any other woman or anyone’s ever exist. I know she’s knowing that, but when she slept with other men, it was because you had convinced her in the past that what we had was stupid and so it was very easy to convince her of that again and so she slept with Louis. She slept with Elliot. She slept with Joe, she slept with Harold. Hope she slept with Michael Rockefeller because you told her that I was meaningless.

And I wasn’t what fucking asshole would have hot as heck sex with a woman at 16 lose his mind and pleasure, moaning and screaming and physically, losing his consciousness, practically in bliss, and then decided that was dumb as fuck and try to go stick his dick up some man’s asshole But that and that’s that’s what you keep insisting and I would just like to know why why do I want to stick my cock up dick up Jack’s asshole Jack has a mediocre ass at best he’s scrawny. Why the fuck do I wanna fuck him so badly according to all of you, but I just had flaming hot sex with Lacey, am I after the money you know Lacey‘s family had money to and they were old money from New York Jack’s family was a new buddy and Irish why would I be so so so sold on their money and I’m just mindless not obsessed with money, and I think I can get more money out of Jack than her, because so socially socially she would be the better, but Rita and Tom and their Hollywood connections that were solid and prestigious would be far superior to lemon earth to Jack and his family You know I mean Lacey might’ve been raised a Piscopo alien like me and there’s no reason why I would prefer her. It makes no sense that you think the curly hair glasses are gay looking they’re not there are plenty of men who look like me, and still do who are straight, so I know I did tend to cultivate a sort of homosexual look at my fashion at times and at times I failed because I was straight. Do you have to keep that in mind why it’s because homosexuality in my case seems more like subterfuge you have to ask yourself why I seem so straight at times with my flaws and my tendencies my shoes and my clothes in my mannerisms seem like calculated homosexuality, but then my flaws like my lack of washing my hair, or am I too short pants or my lack of understanding of how things fit around my gut looks very heterosexual gay men really do tend to be or have traditionally tended to be far more fastidious about things like that, so why am I lacking an awareness of that if I’m actually gay at all it look it’s rather bizarre no I look painfully heterosexual according to some gay man I don’t find it painful it’s just who I am and maybe that’s who God wants us all to be if I ever had a sexuality is that is the healthy stayed at homosexuality is not allowed and having all that being said, I would like for the rest of the day because Lacey needs to go make dinner. I need you to explain to me how I went from having hot sex with a woman who is Lacey to deciding to chase down an anus on a scrawny man and an end it can’t be in a divorce laws of love her there something tragic about me and that way no you have it so that we had sex and then within a day to two days how old is the blue no explanation I’m not angry I might be sad but that sound likely just out of the blue two days later no explanation I said Liam faithfully framing me gay and passionately in love with a scrawny man and a mediocre ass even if I was bisexual that doesn’t really make psychological sense to go from having sound intimate astronomically. Mine blowing good healthy sucks at the vulnerable age of 16 to having an obsession with a scrawny mediocre ass that doesn’t make sense and it’s not about the money it’s that I just can’t get over the ass. I just have to fuck him. No I just can’t get over his his tiny dick I just have to screw it that doesn’t make sense but that’s what you told her that’s what you insist where the motor is true so I would like you to explain to me how I did that. How did I go from having mind blowing the good sex with her to becoming passionately obsessed with a mediocre asshole who is a narcissistic fucking prick a day later with a scrawny ass and a small cock and then I’m normal. I am I’m deep I’m sensitive I myself I am in love with her the way I mean by all rights it looks like I’m passionately in love with her, so I want you to explain to me how I magically become a Gable fruit would shoot heroin with children and not realize that it could kill any of them, including himself, and I am to dippy and idiomatic to be sad at Jack’s wedding because I don’t know where the wedding is I’m too dumb. I know I can analyze masterpieces of Hart but I’m too fucking stupid to understand what the wedding is.” says Lem Billings. “ no I think Jack’s wedding is his graduation into adulthood. He’s not he’s not you know a little boy anymore he’s in his 40s and he graduated from kids school into being an adult. I didn’t know they were going to sleep together I didn’t know that’s where babies came from. Yeah, fucking right I might’ve been unaware, but that’s different than not understanding that when a man and woman sleep together that that’s where children come from, and I saw enough you know what movies I knew enough to know that heterosexual people and Jack talked enough, could get very attracted to each other, so explain to me how I magically didn’t understand what was happening at the wedding. What weddings even were wives, I would love free people to try to explain yourselves.”

“Other than his possibly faked mannerisms, other people’s possible misunderstandings, and his potentially misinterpreted quotations…do we have any evidence to suggest he was homosexual?” asks the FBI.

“No. None. None whatsoever.” says the CIA. “It could all be a lie. And yes…his energy can be read as heterosexual.”

The FBI laughs. “Lacey…what the fuck…do you imagine is better than what you experienced?” the FBI asks.

Lacey thinks. “I don’t know. That’s just it.”

Porcelain by Moby plays.

“Okay. But what!?” asks a lesbian.

“Something?” says Lacey.

“What would it be?!?” asks a lesbian.

Lacey thinks.

The song plays.

“I used to love this song in college.” says Lacey. “It’s so me.” She listens. “I’m not lying. But I do say goodbye that casually.” She thinks. “It’s not without love. It’s just chill. And mystified and defiant of evil. And chill. And grieving.”

The song.

“Okay but what would they have experienced?” asks Great Britain.

“Some humming…transcendent…self-actualizing…metaphysically profound…levitating sex.” says Lacey Banks about what she was told Lem and Jack and most gay men sexually almost always experience…most of her life.

“Awkward!” says a stuffy, effeminate gay man in a huff.

“Why?” asks Lem.

He stares momentarily at Lem and then drops his eyes. “Umm…so…how was that not what you two experienced?”

“We don’t fully levitate.” says Lem laughing. “And we don’t cause a vibrational anomaly. And I’m still sad slightly after having sex…and so is she.”

“Why are two slightly sad?” asks a gay man.

“Because we have to part. And we don’t fully have faith for a safe return anymore.” says Lem. “It’s damn heartbreaking for both of us.”

“So…are we going to continue with this or correct her genuine misunderstanding?” asks Neil Patrick Harris.

“Why? I’m enjoying kicking her ass!” say most living women.

“Yup! They do.” says children dying in slave labor around the world.

“I’m A GODDESS!” scream most living women like they’re all on ego-crack.

“You’re too high to come down?” asks the CIA.

“They’re an incredibly foolish generation. But they’re too vain and ignorant to see it.” says a dead poor woman. “They think my generation was worthless or too stupid or weak to avoid being used by men.“

“You know…Roe Vs. Wade was overturned.” says Mark Zuckerberg.

“Huh???” say most of those ego-crack living women.

“Are we always this evil?” they say.

“No! Not always! Thank God!” says Tsar Putin.

“What the Hell is wrong with us??” they fervently ask.

Dr. Moritz rolls his eyes. Calms himself. “Lacey…ahh…did you expect the same level of sex you have with Lem…with men who you could date today? And marry?”

“Yes! Of course she did! You all told her it was ordinary and worthless.” says Lem.

“When…did we tell her that!?” asks Dr. Moritz.

“In the late 1990’s.” says Lem. “Look…the heat between Katharine and Sebastian is Lacey and I…but we aren’t siblings. And it’s not evil. And…she’s not a bitch and I’m not a scoundrel. …I did use drugs…out of despair…and Lacey is…brilliant at war…but we aren’t those characters. Even if she’s New Amsterdam and I’m a Mayflower descendant.

I’m…not sure how else to ask this. But please do answer it. We aren’t going to write more until you do.

How could any man go from…once in a lifetime good sex…with a woman of 15 at 16…and then suddenly turn completely gay out of the blue just a day or two later…and become astronomically obsessed forever and ever and ever and ever and EVER…with a scrawny, narcissistic, loser, pathetic, twat, scrawny…lying…bitch like Jack Kennedy? Explain. Because that’s the story you have insisted is the absolute truth for over 20 years at least. Maybe over 30 years. …How did I do that? What’s my psychological flight plan? How did I do that? Explain. …EXPLAIN.”

“That’s genuinely the sexual chemistry you and Lacey have?!” asks an actress.

“YES!!!” yells Lem.

“And it went entirely unnoticed by the entire Kennedy family?” asks the CIA.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“No way!” says a reader.

“No. They didn’t notice.” says Lem.

“They’re very…theatrical during sex. Probably all of them.” says Janet, Joe Kennedy Senior’s secretary. “It’s dramatic…but…ultimately hollow and unfulfilling and dull…unless you’re really in love with one of them on a deep level and they’re in love with you. But even then it’s…not as good as remembered it.”

“He’s long. But it’s all nonsense.” says Lacey.

Janet stares at her. Laughs. “Not to me.”

“Poor man. …He tried so hard to be important.” says Lacey.

Janet looks serious. “Did he try to molest Jack and Joe through you.”

“I don’t know. I hope not!! Ask God.” says Lacey.

Paradise Circus by Massive Attack plays.

“Do we really like it?” asks Lacey. “That’s a lie.” asks Lacey in reference to the song.

“No more than you can brainwash someone into thinking eating poop is pleasurable.” says a dead man.

“Spinning in his grip? Doubtful.” says Lacey.

“It’s a brilliant piece of music.” says Mozart.

“She sings with such nuance.” says Lacey.

“Lacey we aren’t having sex that good.” says an actor from the 1980’s on NBC.

“No. We aren’t!” says Neil Patrick Harris.

“She’s struggling to believe you.” says Lem.

“Lacey…how can you want to live?” asks a reader. “After sleeping with Lem?”

“She didn’t want to. But she didn’t know why.” says her ninth grade English teacher.

“That’s the poem…out of all poems ever written…that she chose to memorize for my class and recite in front of us all. And she memorized it to perfection. It was incredibly heartfelt.” says Dr. Grosz.

“Did you worry she was suicidal?!?” yells Eugene Levy.

“I didn’t-I chose not to care.” she admits before running off.

“Wow!

Umm…what did this poem make you feel?” asks Amy Schumer of Lacey.

“Happy. Believe it or not. …It expressed my deepest emotions and made them make sense.” says Lacey. “I felt heard.”

“More later!” says Lem. “But you need to answer that question. Because I’m getting tired of explaining how I was straight and faking being gay.”

Later.

“Lem…you couldn’t have. There’s no way.” says Eugene Levy.

“Do I look gay!?” asks Dan Levy.

“Yes and no. …It’s more of an energy, for lack of a way to describe it.” says Lacey.

Awkward silence.

“What part of me screams gay?” says Dan Levy.

“Your shoulders.” says Lacey.

“So I hold my homosexuality in my shoulders. Interesting.” says Dan.

“Lacey…not everyone can see that kind of thing.” says Eugene Levy.

“That’s almost too much for her to believe.” says Ginger Rogers.

Later.

“Why don’t you look into me more?” asks Red Fay.

“Are you hurt?” asks MSNBC.

Red thinks. “Yeah. …What did you need the book to be titled?”

“I look attracted to Jack. And he looks uncomfortable. …Is he imitating Lem? How sad. …But he…isn’t…who people think he is either.” says Red. “No. We had an intimate relationship. Right away.”

“So…Lem was straight. And yet he acted gay. And you were bisexual and acted straight. …And you had a real intimate relationship with Jack…but you hid it too well? Huh. …Do you discuss it at all in the book?” asks Caroline Calloway.

Red Fay thinks. “I did hint at it. …That’s part of the reason Jackie was so sad. …Umm…I knew Jack’s emotional state of being better than she did on more than one occasion. …I discuss how he felt. How did I know that? How did I know his mind and heart so closely?”

Later.

“The reviews suggest you’re real.” says Lacey.

“It’s Ben Bradlee. Not Bill.” says Ben Bradlee.

“Yeah. But I can see why you still wonder.

…No. Lem was forced to sing Mae West songs to humiliate him, degrade him, and control his heterosexuality in the eyes of others. He seemed straight. …But I wanted to believe he wasn’t. That was too tragic.

…My wife wondered if Lem was straight too. But just like me…she too felt repulsed by the idea because it was too damn depressing.” says Red Fay.

“Red what was so great about Jack?” asks a Native American woman.

“He was…a challenge. And he begged for love. …He seemed promising and yet desperate. Extremely desperate. …So you felt his neediness and you wanted to meet his needs. Because you had such high hopes for him. As a man and as a leader. …It felt like…if he could make it and really prove himself to everyone in the end…that something powerful and wonderful was happening. Something meaningful. Because that was what he sold people on. He made us all believe that he was just inches from being great. …But in reality he was…pathetic.

It took me dying possibly to see how pathetic of a person he really was.” says Red Fay.

“Why!?” asks the Native American woman.

“I made excuses for him.

*he pauses and thinks*

I made him…innocent. Guileless. He was…rude, pushy, conceited…arrogant…heartless…cruel…mean…controlling…arrogant…mean…controlling. *he laughs* …I was actually bisexual. So unlike Lem I felt loved when he called me Grand Old Lovable. It wasn’t…annoying. …But…when I died…I realized that he used those terms from a very one-sided, narcissistic perspective. …He was in love with us…but we were his toys. His beloved toys…but his toys.

Some women and some gay men used playful nicknames. Sure. But…we were men. With our own minds and souls and hearts. Not just his slaves. …And he often failed to realize that about any of us. He saw us entirely as his possessions…that made him feel good. Not as people separate from him.

…I stopped being able to make excuses for him when I died.” says Red Fay.

“Lem you made yourself look too gay.” says a Native woman.

“I wanted to be…cool. And being cool meant having to be accepted by people and being molested and feeling ashamed of myself…wasn’t something I could be. I wanted to seem gay. Because…as much as gay men were rejected…they fit in in high society. And they weren’t victims. They were…eccentrics. Artists. Edgy. Deep. …A molestation victim…seemed…weak. And poor. And foolish. And…I felt…empowered in a way acting gay. …I hated gay sex. But…I was sure I was gay. For medial reasons. Remember? And I wanted to be honorable. And…good. And…there was the added benefit of being accepted and fitting in…and feeling…loved…” says Lem. “By lots of important people.”

“But you still would have slept with Lacey. Even while she was engaged to Joe?” asks Fox News.

“Yes! Absolutely.

I’m profoundly attracted to her.

And she’s very attracted to me.

Even though I have flaws.

And…that’s very difficult to resist.

…And she really needs me. Me. …And it’s more than that.

I never saw anyone like her. Almost at all. All those years. When I was there. …Women were beautiful. But…they didn’t get my attention like Lacey. …Women like her weren’t at the Kennedys.” says Lem.

Awkward silence.

“Lacey’s unusual Joe!” Lem yells at him.

“Lem! You look gay!” says Joe, drunk.

“Then why did I sleep with your girlfriend?” asks Lem.

Awkward silence.

“I don’t think it’s real.” says Bobby.

“Then why have you tried to sleep with us?” asks Lem. “While we’re with each other.”

Bobby laughs. “It’s an accident.”

“No. It wasn’t!” says Lem

Awkward silence.

“Joe…why can’t you let her be rare?” asks Lem.

Joe walks off.

“Michael laughs.” says Michael Rockefeller.

“Does she really look like Scotia?” asks a Native woman.

“Yes!” says Lem.

“Then alter Scotia to look more like her.” says the woman.

“That looks an uncanny amount like Lacey!” says Ben Bradlee.

Laughing. “Okay. Then make her body next your body in the photo. I wanna see if your energy shifts.” says the Native American woman, smiling.

“There is a slight energy shift.” says a psychic.

“So…do another one!” says the CIA.

“Well that asshole! It doesn’t look like Ethel and really she looks more like some sort of ditz. Who’s sleeping with Lem and doesn’t realize it.“ says a former Miss America pageant coach and judge.

“ he has a very straight energy. I’m sorry, but he does. He does make it look gay but I don’t think he looks any more gay than Joshua Jackson does, and cruel intentions.” says the CIA. “ and it’s actually more perceptive receivable that he’s straight because he doesn’t realize that he needs to keep that act up all the time or if he does realize that he’s not capable of making it look that real. I’m starting to get annoyed because Lacey keeps reading him straight, but then people can’t handle the fact that he was so convincing at his act of being gay that they keep bringing it up to her psychically whether they’re in the illuminati or not whether they’re reading this or not she keeps hearing people incessantly telling her that he was gay and that she’s crazy or she’s wrong or she’s desperate or something and she’s not, and that’s the problem it’s impossible and it’s become obsessive for people because it’s such a perception shift for them that I can see why he’s sick of it. He did act gay, but if you look at his face in some of his pictures compared to the ones that look more gay. It looks like he’s two different people his mannerisms don’t match up, and that’s not normal that’s not normal no really I know what I’m talking about. I’m sort of an expert and it’s it’s very irritating because she looks at every single picture. She reads them a straight having her re-look at some thing it isn’t changing anything, and it’s just sort of wasting everyone’s time, because if there is an illuminati, we really don’t need her doing that right now because we’re in a huge crisis and part of it was caused because we had decided to attack her and instead of taking her warnings seriously and the warnings of different people from around the world who we thought were just confused like several people in China several people in Great Britain who are close to the queen Summer from refuse to speak to us. We no longer feel safe because it feels like we’re living in a world that is dramatically different than the one. We had eight years ago and we’re pretty sure that it’s because we’ve treated her like she’s an idiot. She’s not an idiot she’s not evil in a way that is abnormal. She’s actually an unusually good person and she’s unusually beautiful and unusually smart, and to be honest, she does look almost identical to Scotia I mean really they look, they’re basically almost identical. If you look at that picture the eyes, the face the attitude that’s what she looks like almost completely. She doesn’t photograph well she’s really a lot more beautiful in person than then her photographs suggest and I would say that it’s pretty hard to argue with the reality of that, so I don’t know I’m sorry I can’t prove that long was straight but I think it’s very unlikely that he was gay and I actually think it’s pretty much impossible that he was gay because Reddit read identifies the most as bisexual he does that’s facts that was bisexual. The neutral thing wasn’t gay that was bisexual unless if you’re obstinate and want to make him gay With red face said make some bisexual edit really lens Creedence to lotta conspiracy theories of conservatives have about the liberals and media and if I am real and the CIA exists telepathically oh, sorry, those conspiracy theories are sometimes true am I saying that as a ghost am I saying that as a living person, I’ll leave that up to you so maybe I’m over speaking and saying that because if I’m a ghost, maybe I should make the illuminati seem like such a certainty, but suffice to say it’s not unreasonable to think that it exists and no lemon is not gay he you could think that he’s bisexual but you, you’d have to be pretty obstinate to insist that he was gay I actually think it makes sense to think he was straight and to be honest he really doesn’t look it’s me anymore. I’m sorry.” says a spy.