“Analyzing Miss Julie” by Lem Billings

Howlin’ for You by The Black Keys plays.

So…here’s the problem. Miss Julie has sexual desires. And maybe they didn’t know that in the 1950’s but we’re supposed to know that now.

Some men knew that. I sort of understood…but not really. That is part of why the old Madonna/Whore dichotomy existed. They never knew what was going on in women’s minds.

Harold Loeb knew. And he got burned because of it.

F. Scott Fitzgerald knew and it destroyed him.

Hemingway knew…and it tortured him.

I didn’t know. And…that should have bern okay. But it wasn’t. Why? Because Jack Kennedy…was a festering piece of evil shit. His whole family is that vile. But he’s one of the most evil amongst them. He lies and seems sweet but he’s really a heartless monster with an ugly body he dresses well to look pretty. He’s DISGUSTING naked. Americans rarely saw him with no clothes or few clothes. Right? Ha! …When did they ever see him with no clothes? Maybe never. But it was worth saying. Because he’s a fool who used to strip down naked and run crazy high on meth. He loved sexually assaulting people any and everywhere. He was a total violent pervert. But…he lies…very well.

Does Lacey love him? Maybe? Why maybe? Because who is he? How can we even know? We can’t. Not entirely.

But God knows. And…a lover is supposed to know over time. A parent kind of knows…but most people don’t.

Why would a lover know over time? Because they care. I gave no shits about Jack. I…GAVE…NO…SHITS…ABOUT Jack. But he doesn’t know that? Not…entirely. Why? Because he’s a peasant. And peasants used to live in an alternate universe out of poverty. They used lie to feel better. Embarrassingly so.

And the dumbass narcissists in the Illuminati who chose to remake Miss Julie, a stupid-as-fuck 1950’s shithole…HATE Lacey. Why?? Because she’s ELITE. And she knows it but she’s not at all ugly about it and then they have to deal with their constant farts. She’s actually not even necessarily judging them…but…they know she can “smell it.” And they’re violent about it and they’re also incredibly embarrassed.

Diego and Chris farted…violently. They’re STENCH is BAD. And for Chris Hayes is straight out of the Bronx gutter. But like the Kennedys he has very little common sense. So…he thought it made sense…to turn Earth to Mars. Just like the Kennedys.

Or Venus.

Literally.

They struggle to accept plants.

They hate anything that needs something. Why? Because they don’t have a soul…almost. They’re genuinely subhuman.

The Nazis knew subhumans actually exist. And…lots of other people did too.

Lacey and I doubt it’s about race. But there’s a reason we leave criminals to die in a cell.

Lots of things are subconscious. Right Dr. Moritz? *eye-roll* Part of the reason why is because of degrees of intelligence. Lacey has a ditzy side. But it’s because she’s so smart and human. There’s very little she’s unaware of. She’s barely subconscious. At all. And that’s part of the reason some good people hate and hated counseling. And why it also works. It’s a dark thing…but also not.

But…you can’t conquer Lacey. I can. But literally nobody else ever has. …Why can I? Because God allows me to. It’s just who I am.

I never conquered Jack. He was…unconquerable because of his malignant narcissism. Totally unconquerable. But…I didn’t give a fuck. Did I? Why would I?

“I cared!” says JFK.

I didn’t! You were…nothing to me.

“Lacey loves me!” says JFK, smiling.

Yes. I know. Because she loves you. Because you’re capable of being her stepson. But…sweetie…I’m not your dad.

“You coming on to me!” says JFK, grinning.

“I didn’t raise him well.” says JP Kennedy.

“These people actually have oil!?!” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father about The Nesheims.

Let Me Blow Your Mind by Shawn Lee’s Ping Pong Orchestra plays.

“Yes!” says China.

“Asia is like one giant Bill Nye The Science Guy.” says actual lower-class America. It’s not necessarily a stupid observation. He seemingly had a good sense of humor. If he did then maybe they’re on to something.

“So…you think I’m coming on to you?” asks Lem.

“Yes!” says Jack.

“No. I’m not.” says Lem. “Why do you think that?”

“Because. You just said the line from the movie. It’s like…’Jack…I’m not your father.’” says JFK.

“Oh! Like a sexy line from a movie?” asks Lem.

“Yes! Like a sexy movie!” says JFK.

“No. I’m not. I’m completely rejecting you.” says Lem.

“Oh! Right. Because JP Kennedy…is my dad. But…see…he’s an asshole. And you know that now. And you care!!! A LOT!!” says JFK.

“Not…necessarily.” says Lem. “Kind of. But not that much. And you don’t have a right to expect me to.”

“So you care some?” says JFK.

“Yes. But not that much.” says Lem.

“Oh. So you’re completely rejecting me as a possible son.” says JFK.

“Yup!” says Lem.

“Okay. I rapped you. So it makes sense.” says JFK.

“Yes! Where’s your mom!??” asks Lem.

“My mom is shopping.” says Jack.

“Where!?” asks Lem.

“In the city.” says JFK.

“Which city?” asks Lem.

“Tokyo.” says JFK.

“I know. Jack…you rapped me.” Lem reminds him.

“I’ll rape you again?” says JFK.

“No.” says Lem. “God please take him away!”

God takes Jack away.

“I haven’t been able to say that in Lacey’s consciousness, so to speak, for years. Thanks to the Illuminati.” says Lem. He wipes his glasses. Puts them back on his face.

“You sound like me!” says Kacey.

“Yup. It’s called being English.” says Dr. Billings.

Kacey laughs. Then looks worried.

“Lem. Did you accidentally bully Jack?” asks Kacey.

“Yup!” says Lem.

“Shoot.” says Kacey’s father.

“So Lacey’s gay!?!” says America.

“No!!!” yells Jan. “NO!!! She’s not gay.”

“Oh! Because I’m like Lem? So are my brother and father.” says Kacey.

“That’s impossible.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“No. Bobby it’s who we actually are.” says Kacey’s father.

“So the British are all alike!?!?” says Bobby, seriously. He tries to laugh a posh laugh. “When I’m in Great Britain I never notice.”

“Are you slightly German Lem?” asks Kacey’s father.

“Maybe. Or not. I might be Welsh. Or Cornish.” says Lem.

“We came over later.” says Shawn.

“Yeah. You did.” says Lem.

“I kind of regret it.” says Shawn.

“We understand.” says Lem. “But there were reasons.”

Shawn cries.

“Welp.

I guess we did America!” says Lem.

Everybody Wants To Run The World by Tears For Fears plays.

“Yeah.

Wow.” says Shawn.

The song plays.

“Ha!” says Benjamin Franklin.

And at that Dr. Moritz does a cool 1980’s dance.

And Bill Cosby plays the saxophone.

And this is subliminally Lem:

“Thats LEM!” says a dead gay man. He killed himself at 20.

“Why did you kill yourself?” asks an ad agency.

“Because you told me to do with that ad!” he says.

“How!?!?!

It was supposed to be a tribute to Lem on behalf of the closeted gay community in the advertising business and then we took it out in the late 90s…possibly because we could psychically sense that Lacey could figure out that he wasn’t gay…and was getting aroused by him as she grew-up…which could be how she ended-up having nightmares when she was 10…that she was dying of a cigarette overdose.” says advertising in Manhattan in 1990’s.

“YOU KILLED ME!!” yells the gay man. He’s too angry to talk about it.

Another gay man who it affected this way emerges.

“It’s psychological pollution!” says Greta Thurnberg.

“YES!!” says Lacey.

“I was killed by psychological pollution.” say thousands of gay young men who were affected by this ad.

“What did it tell you!?” asks Lacey.

“Okay. So…he’s gay. Right? And I knew that…based on his mannerisms. But…why…the saxophone?!? Why the piano?” asks the gay man.

“Yeah. It’s a cigarette ad. So I knew it was supposed to make me want to smoke. …But why the piano and saxophone?” asks another gag man.

“WHY NOT!?? …They used this ad to try to out me subliminally as bisexual.” says Bill Clinton, in shocked desperation.

“But…why…the saxophone!?” asks one of the thousands of gay men who killed themselves.

“Because…he blows it.” says the advertising agency who created the ads.

“I don’t blow my boyfriend!!” says one of the dead gay men.

“No. Not literally. But…you do…in a way?” says a Don Draper type from the advertising agency that created the ad.

“Eww!!! No!” says another dead gay man who committed suicide.

“What the fuck!?!” says a Don Draper type.

“Yeah!! Right!?! YOU ASSHOLE!!” yells one of the gay men.