“We created America. Because we knew we were deserving love. Because GOD…loves us.” says a dead Black man. “That’s why the Gospel was so beloved to us.”
“And sex. And spices.” says Lacey. “And gold and diamonds.”
“Yeah. Pretty much anything worth…experiencing in life. Families. Romantic love. Diamonds. Colors. Spices. Umm…perfume?” says Africa.
“This is awkward.” says Barack Obama.
“Are you as human as me?” Tsar Putin asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Egypt wondered.” says Tom Banks.
“Crud.” says Barack Obama.
“They decided it was a no.” says Dodi Al Fayed.
“And regretted it. To an extent.” says Lacey.
“That was because of us though Lacey, not these people.” says Israel.
“Well. To some degree…yes.” says Harold Loeb.
“So I’m not as human!?!” asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father in grave fear.
“I don’t know!” says Lacey. “So now what? Because you’re the one who thinks believing you’re subhuman is lovable.”
“Lacey did you wonder that?” asks Africa.
“Yes and no. I wondered if there was something literally mutant about me….that made me unlovable. I still worry. Because that’s how I’ve been treated. And I’m a genius. But…I know better.” says Lacey Banks.
“But no. You can’t know that!!” yells The Pseudo Intellectual Father at Lacey.
“Why!?” asks Lem.
“Because…that’s what makes all humans lovable!!!” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father freaking out.
“So…answer how you’re able to be loved?” asks Lem.
“Because! I’m lovable.” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“So you know!?” asks Lem.
“Yes!!” he says. “But it’s based on my superiority over all or most humans.”
“So humans aren’t inherently lovable?” asks Freud.
“No! That’s heresy!” he says.
“Heresy!?” says Great Britain.
“Yes! Sex is bad. And all humans are evil.
I learned that genetically in a barn in the 1600’s. That’s where the boss keeps me.
So…see…sex is evil. And…humans aren’t really lovable. But if I work real hard…maybe I will be human.” he says.
Lacey laughs. “Who told your peasant fool ancestors to start preaching to us?”
“I don’t know.” he says.
“See…Calvinists would claim you can’t be loved.” says John Belter. “By God.”
Dirty Harry by Gorillaz plays.
“But now I’m beginning to wonder if you’re just a peasant.” says John Belter.
“SHIT!” says the Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Yeah. Answer!” says Lem.
“Umm…I cannot accept that humans are inherently lovable or that a human who was smart enough to know that…would be redeemable by Jesus.” he says.
“YES!!” yells Jan. “That’s why I HATED Lacey.”
“Mmhmm. And she’s poor!!” says Casi, convincingly, trying to sound creepy and menacing.
“Casi, are you a double agent?” asks the Illuminati.
“If there’s reincarnation, I might be but I had to clue her in just so that she’d know because it was becoming too-too opaque.
Not because she’s stupid obviously but really be-because there’s too much evil. So if I’m reincarnated yeah I was an Italian aristocrat. Hi! I used to be part of the Illuminati. Nice to talk to you guys again.” says Casi.
“So…I am lovable.” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Why?” asks his dead daughter in the afterlife.
“Because I’m the exception.” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Yeah. Us too.” say the Kennedys.
“We can’t be both exceptional.” says the Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“No. It’s just me. But that’s okay.” says Joe Kennedy Junior.
“Why the fuck did peasants take themselves so fucking seriously? I’ll tell you why. It’s because of the United States of America.” says a Christian Fundamentalist.
“Yeah. And Black folk are poor because we were held hostage and taken here.” says a Black American man.
“True. And that’s why Black poverty is very evil and very awful but also it’s-it’s a bit different.
You know I’m curious is that why you hate the motto ‘Black Lives Matter’? Is it because subconsciously you already know that…and it hurts your feelings to feel so inferior to us?” asks the homeless Black man Lacey once gave money to.
“YES!” says Casi. “I’m working for the Italian government if there’s no reincarnation.” She yawns.
“Yes! And English lives matter too!” says King Charles III.
“FUCK YOU!!!” yells most of America.
“Why!?” asks King Charles III.
“NIGGER!” yells America.
“Oh! So…I’m evil?” asks King Charles III, lovingly.
America laughs. “You bitch!”
“Yeah. He’s like Lacey.
LOSER!” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“So…it’s not colonialism and racism?” asks King Charles III.
“‘No. We…ARE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!” yells America.
“WHY!?” asks King Charles III.
“You don’t know?” asks America.
“No. Do tell.” says King Charles III.
“Who are these people? There are peasants who might not agree with what they’re going to say.” says South America.
“I know that and so does Vladimir Putin.” says King Charles III.
“You know what you did! You sucked our cock bish!” says America to King Charles III.
“I think you must’ve raped me then.” says King Charles III.
“That’s OK.
See…we’re allowed to do that now that we’re America and The Pseudo Intellectual Father is one of our soulmates. We have them all over the world. Lots of countries have Americans living in them. They are American in their heart…and we get to rape people, and we get to pillage people and we get to ruin countries and do whatever the fuck we want! Why? Well…because the peasants in control now byotch! You gonna cry now, byotch!” says America.
“I refuse to associate with you!” says Andrew Carnegie to America.
“Me too!” says Elon Musk.
No Good by KALEO plays.
“So…I’m just mad that Lacey isn’t a peasant?” asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Yes.” says Joe Biden.
“I’m out too.” says Bill Gates.
“Miss Julie is bullshit. On a narcissist level.” says Lacey.
“Yes! On the most human level it’s good. But…socioeconomically it’s an evil lie.” says Lem.
“So what’s love?” asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Why do you assume you’re someone you’re not?” asks Lacey.
“You know love! You just can’t love.” says the CIA to The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Why?” he asks.
“Because you’re too backward.” says Lacey.
“So was I.” says Oscar Wilde. “To some degree.”
“You refuse to be…yourself. Do you hate sharing too?” asks Lacey of the Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“I just can’t stand other humans.” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“So we’re not sexually counseling Lacey Banks?” asks Dr. Moritz.
Bound For The Floor by Local H plays.
“No. You’re buffoons.” says Lem.
“That little boy is a badass.” says Lacey. “He’s kicking your ass.”
“My ass?” asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“He’s a victim? No. He’s a warrior. Lord bless him. He’s violent.” says Lacey.
“What’s she?” asks The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Your best friend from high school!” says Lem.
“There aren’t really child hostages are there or sex slavery?
I don’t think that exists!
And when I molest people it doesn’t count, does it?” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father, sincerely. He marches in his Dockers like a dumbass 3 year old in 1975.
“No. There is.” says Zelensky.
“No. That’s a peasant myth.” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Do you all know if that child is dead or alive? If he’s a hostage…and he’s dead…and there’s reincarnation in the Bible…he’s me.” says Louis Hill Junior.
“No. This is all based on peasant mythology!!” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.“
“This entire blog!?” asks Gen. Z.
“Yes!!” says The Pseudo Intellectual Father.
“Actually, I don’t think that’s true. I think you’re just an asshole and you think that you’re an intellectual fraud and a pretentious asshole. I think Lacey followed you to be nice and she regrets it because you’re just a fucking asshole who wants attention on Instagram. But but at the same time, I don’t have a right to say that to you because you’re smarter than me and I can’t stand Lacey either. I-I am a middle-class woman in America. I love Miss Julie because it makes me feel sexy and special and I’m actually kind of an ugly fat person.” says an American woman.
“ I should know I am an asshole who likes Miss Julie too. You know the pseudo-intellectual is really just exactly what we’re saying he has. He’s a peasant he’s middle-class and he has pretensions towards something aristocratic. It’s obvious that he’s not aristocratic because he has this bizarrely open pedophilic relationship with his kids, and it’s not normal like that’s a total freakish thing to do but he doesn’t seem to realize that I don’t care what country you’re from or what intellectual conversation you’re having that’s not normal and subconsciously at least everyone should still or does still know that I don’t care what Kim Kardashian tells us. I don’t care what Kanye did in their bedroom to their daughter I don’t give a fuck because I’m better bred than that and my grandfather was a Nazi. He was a high-ranking Nazi official. No I’m German but I’m not like Dr. Moritz I’m actually from an upper middle-class background I don’t know where the hell he grew up. I don’t know what his background is, but I actually did come from some wealth and prestige in order, that’s facts. My mother was sort of a big deal in a way, but not really they do. You have a rather large house. My parents are somewhat wealthy and I am so much spoiled. I’m not that rich, but I am not poor and I don’t have quite as many issues as the pseudo-intellectual father, I’m also not a Kennedy. My grandfather was a high-ranking Nazi official in Germany not America my family didn’t have to go to America to escape poverty from Ireland like the Kennedys there their poor Irish people who stole a lot of money, and got people drunk to get their wealth that’s all they are what is some degree Joe might’ve been very smart, but at the end of the day they stole money and they got people drunk, Lacey’s father inherited money or should have because their family was wealthy. He was a bootlegger, but he grew up in wealth. There is a difference.
Why do you guys hit Lacey because she’s better than you socioeconomically but you’re too stupid and ignorant to realize that America and then you made the whole world that dub unfortunately, that is a large portion of why do people hate her because you have these asinine backward ideas of what rich people actually are based on actual peasant mythology not some bullshit that the pseudo intellectual pulled out of his ass to try to appease people who were aristocratical he’s he’s a kiss ass dumb ass you fucking idiot Lacey is who you’re trying to impress and then you’re telling her she’s not lovable that doesn’t make any fucking sense you’re a moron and then all of your pretends towards intellectual understanding is outed as presents and you seem like a dumbass. You should be back in a barn.” says Jan Hertel, sincerely.
“ yeah OK as a German native I would I might actually would agree with Asmat no my family isn’t that wealthy Lacey I lied to you and you knew that I pretended to be like Jan but wealthier because I went to Cambridge and you saw right through me.” admits Dr. Moritz.
“ yeah yeah and I actually had sexual contact with Lacey. It was over the Internet, but we actually did have sexual contact and it was nothing like anything and miss Julie. It was actually really hard to be sexual with her because she doesn’t have dirt underneath her fingernails she doesn’t smell, she is unbelievably perfect but it’s not in a way that’s bourgeois. It’s just native to her. The movie is embarrassing. It’s a farce.” says Jan Hertel.
“ so your grandfather was an honorable man, but unfortunately you were in Germany.” says Tsar Putin.
“ yes that’s true. He was except at the same time it isn’t true because I love Germany and my family loves Germany and he did too.” says Jan Hertel.
“ Jan I thought you were gay!” says one of his ex-boyfriends.
“ I know, but occasionally I’m not.” says Jan.
“So then Lem is like you, like you? So fuck you fool people!
Or he actually was straight!
…And you’re the German version of him!? A NAZI!
Except up not really?” says one of his ex-boyfriends, dumbly.
“ yeah…
And I didn’t have to love her the way that I loved you.
It was actually a very interesting experience.
I had to pussyfoot around everything and be an absolute precious sweetheart to you.
But to her I was a narcissistic asshole…and I’m still writing on this blog. She’s not a man at all, but it’s sad that you’re so weak.” says Jan.
“Ouch!” says the gay ex-boyfriend.
“That’s my grandson!” says Jan’s grandfather, proudly.
“Does he really mean that?” asks Jan.
“Yes! I’m proud.” he says.
“Why are we brainwashed to be so damn nice?” says Jan.
“The Puritans gone awry.” says his grandfather.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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