“Bobby” by Bobby Kennedy Junior

What Up Gangsta by 50 Cent plays.

Dear God,

See…you don’t understand. This my hood!

I’m SEXY.

Do you have any idea what it’s like to be sexy?

No. You’re poor and ugly. I’m NOT!

You condemn people for giving too much acid to an 10 year old and causing them to overdose. I don’t. I understand…evil people.

I understand.

Look…it’s simple. I have…a lot of money.

Whatever You Like by T. I. plays.

I understand.

Do you even know why pedophiles exist? I do. I am one kinda. The Illuminati controls me that way. I’m not…into it. But they’ve caught me a few times. With teenagers.

Yup. So…

See…let me tell you…it’s easy. …They’re…

*Later*

We love LOVE!

See…God…we…are. We are!!!

We…have…money. And God you just…

*Later*

God…you are…stupid.

2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted by 2Pac plays.

I’m white. You were HAROLD LOEB.

I’m WHITE! Not some jackass nigger.

Nah! You a BITCH! A BUTCH BITCH!!!

Why? Because I don’t sound like this. I’m AMAZING!!!

So what Mary hung herself and Maeve drowned and Saoirse overdosed on my watch. So fucking what!?

I’m HOT!!

I’m SOOO SOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!

The Crossroads by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony plays.

I’m BLACK! I have AMAZING musical tastes.

See…I’m just amazing. Whatever is amazing at the moment…I AM THAT!

Why?

Ha!

Shit. Do I feel aroused? Damn. Women always arouse me.

How?

Well…they’re arousal turns me on. I like being seduced. Men do the sitting and women do the seducing. Women have to convince men to fuck. And I know this.

John Eldregde Eldrege…Eldredge wrote a book about it. We are HEROES. But…when we want…you fuck us.

Yup. You know.

Men are the…ones who sit…and lay. And women get on top and do the fucking. Always. I’ve never pursued a woman almost ever. Right? I’ve never had to and neither did JFK. They always seduce me. They’re the pushers and pursuers. They run the show.

And…I…just fuck shit up.

*He feels suicidal*

Anyway! I’m God.

*He thinks*

We arranged for Cillian Murphy to win to piss Lacey off. Why you a bitch like her?

Why you gotta be like that? You know I just want sex. That’s all. Everyone on my family does. That’s all we ever wanted was sex.

Why is that so weird? It was all about sex to us. We had no deeper meaning. Everything was subterfuge over sex.

Camelot? Whatever. We invented that to have sex.

*Bobby thinks*

I’m OBSESSED with Lem. He’s my entire personality. Almost.

…He wouldn’t have to be. But my whole family is like that since he showed-up after Jack kidnapped and brainwashed him in the 1930’s. He’s…so cool.

*Bobby looks like a serial killer clown momentarily*

Jack…was evil like me. And he’s…dead now.

*Bobby looks sad*

Why did you kill us!? You’re a LOSER!! *he screams seriously*

You know…Lem wasn’t sad at Jack’s wedding according TO LACEY! But I KNOW! That’s my family.

*Bobby laughs*

So what that he was smiling!

*Bobby starts singing along with Big Pimpin’ by JAY-Z*

I refuse to analyze this!

*he starts dancing*

Thank you Jesus!!! *he screams* Thank you Jesus that I refuse to use my brain like all the other men in my family now and before me. THANK YOU JESUS! *he screams*

*he tries to dance in the spirit to Big Pimpin’*

Someone in the Illuminati is telling me to listen to these lyrics.

*he dances and half listens*

That’s funny. You gave us this?

Whatever! You can’t! I’ve seen television commercials for you! You’re a nigger.

Nah! We are pimps because we’re HOT!!! *he screams*

*he breathes heavy and breathless*

*the song plays*

Yeah!! So what!! So what!!!

I DON’T CARE!!!

I DON’T CARE!!! *he screams*

I’m not angry. No. *he laughs*

I DON’T CARE!!!!!!

I…DON’T Care.

I…DON’T…CARE!!!! *he screams*

Hypnotize by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

*Bobby dances*

I have…NO FUCKS TO GIVE!

I DON’T CARE!!!!

*he still feels angry*

I DON’T CARE!!!

I DON’T CARE!!!!!!

*He thinks. Smiles. Laughs at God*

I DO…NOT…CARE!

*He dances and waits*

I DON’T CARE!!

*He laughs at God*

I DO NOT…CARE!!

*someone puts on Use Your Imagination as sung by Jo Stafford*

What’s this shit!? She sounds like Lacey. No! She’s Jack? Is this Jack reincarnated?

*He listens*

THIS IS DUMB!

*He listens*

She’s creeping me out. She’s like…GROSS!

*he listens*

YUCK!!! It’s like…”No I do not want to play with the yellow ducks. Go fuck yourself with the food and shit. Right?”

*He thinks*

I’m…not wrong though. Kids never want food and water. They can get it. They’re just too…stupid.

I’m sorry. But…I was never a child. I was this. And even my mind lies. Because it tells me that I’m…an adult who was once a child. I never was. I was…always just this.

*He thinks*

I’m rare! I was always this…way. I never have needed anything or anyone. I’m always just here. I’m A GOD!!!

*He thinks*

*Miss Brown To You by Billie Holiday plays*

Listen to her swinging her big black tits.

*He stands-up and starts dancing. He shakes his tits to dance without irony.*

*The song plays*

*They Can’t Take That Away From Me as sung by Ellie Fitzgerald plays.*

*Bobby dances with Lem in his mind*

We are the love story.

Yup. That’s right. You and I.

*let’s listen to the conversation*

*Later. Bobby lays asleep.*

*He rolls over and sucks his thumb on a sofa.*

*La vie en rose as performed by Louis Armstrong plays*

Mommy!?!

Mommy!?!!

Mom!!!!! *Bobby screams*

Oh mom. Hey! Let’s fuck!

*he spreads his legs and waits*

*Promiscuous by Nelly Furtado plays*

*Bobby starts doing bicycle riding in the air with his legs to work out*

*The song plays and he does his…exercise?*

*Summertime by Mareux plays*

*Bobby pauses*

*Bobby listens*

*Bobby stands-up*

This is sex!!!! Oh my God!!! Lem and Lacey finally want to have sex with me!!!

*He runs out and undresses*

He-

*Memoryhouse by Max Richter plays*

*Bobby listens. He pauses. He listens. Naked.*

*The song plays.*

*Bobby looks confused*

*Suddenly he starts twirling around like a ballerina. He starts trying to look like a ballerina. He does lots of ballet moves. They’re all awful looking. But he does them.*

This song moves me!!! Lem! Lem darling…LOVE ME! *he screams*

*He raises his hands up towards Heaven*

*Nothin’ by N. O. R. E. plays.*

*And at that a dead bisexual man impales Bobby’s ass spiritually with a huge, metal, phallic device*

*Bobby feels it slightly. Shakes his ass. But they almost hurts.*

*And then another dead gay man smashes Bobby in the face with a brick*

That felt weird.

My god.

*The song plays*

Got Your Money by Ol’ Dirty Bastard plays.

*And at that Michael cuts off his head*

Bobby. Bobby! *he yells*

Dammit. The weird thing with my throat again?

*And at that Scotia impales him in the gut with a sword*

That’s-

That’s-

Wait. I’m getting a message. I should write this down.

*He grabs a pen and paper*

I’m immortal. I’m immortal?

No! I’m A Moral!

Morale?

I’m a morale?

I’m…immortal.

*He thinks*

I’m a moral? No!!! *he yells at the ghost* No!! You’re saying I’m IMMORTAL!

React by Erick Sermon plays.

I’m immortal!!

Okay. What else?

I’m an immortal…man. Yes? Okay. I’m an immortal man. I’m an immoral? Man? No. I’m not.

Okay. Let’s move on.

“I’m an immortal man.” *he says smiling happily.

*He listens*

*12 more children being held hostage die*

Why are you killing children Mollock?

*He listens*

I’m a God!? Oh.

Oh okay. I’m A GOD!?

Yes. Okay. I’m a god. Huh. Yeah. I knew that. Go on.

*Later*

I’m God!? Okay. Very well.

I’m God. And you wish you knew me. And you wish we could be friends and be in love? Forever?

Well let’s see. You’re not good enough. That’s always my response. Every time.

Umm…no. Because Mollock I’m God!

I’m God!! I’m GOD!!

I’m better than you? And you’re so scared of me. Because I’m a Kennedy. You could say that.

*Bobby laughs*

No. It’s just…we’re normal. *he looks sexy all of a sudden*

You want to fuck me?

*Bobby laughs*

You love me? Of course. Okay. Go on!

*Bobby laughs*

I’m not ready to be in love. Not yet.

I’m not old enough. No. I’ll be ready someday in 300 years or 10,000 years. Until then I’m playing the field and fucking chicks.

No.

No.

No. I’m being serious!

*Bobby thinks*

I’m God!

You’re impressed.

You’re in awe of the Kennedys.

You’re IN AWE of us.