“Chit Chat” by Lem Billings

“What the fuck is that?

Oh my son just died so I’m going to dress-up!?” says Lacey.

“She knows how write English. Why is she writing in crap English? Is she trying to impersonate you!?” asks Lem.

“God I hope not. But I’m terrified that’s true. She’s creepy.” says Lacey.

Lem laughs.

“She does seem like she might be trying to copy my rebellion against English language evil though.” says Lacey.

“Yah! She had a HUGE narcissistic burst tonight with you.” says Lem.

“So she clearly could be copying me.” says Lacey.

“Yeah.” says Lem. “She’s trying to aggressively aggravate you.”

“Does she really think she’s that pretty? Or even prettier than me?” asks Lacey, scared. “SHE’S NUTS!”

“YES! She’s HIDEOUS.” says Lem.

“You guys are idiots. You really are that ugly.” says the CIA to the fools like the woman above in the perfume community.

“Is she the one who’s nuts?” asks Lacey.

“Maybe.” says Lem.

“That’s A HIDEOUS woman.” says Lem.

“Yes. What the fuck!?

Are these dumbass responses about what I posted?” asks Lacey.

“Are you worried they are?” asks Lem.

“Yes. These sort of things have been creeping me out since 2017.” says Lacey.

“Were will be this weird if you simply really are responding to you which I get why you wonder because people do cat he thinks you’re right and you’re hopefully it’s not a response to something you posted but it’s creepy where we this creepy before 2017?” and Monika Klima.

Lacey thinks. “No!”

Monika laughs. Looks sad.

“Are they responding Casi!?” asks the CIA.

“You clearly think it’s a Russian plot, Monika, but it might not be” says Tsar Putin. “Although it’s not stupid to think that…because it would be a brilliant way to start a war.

On Instagram. Using her. Using animosity. Getting her involved in the Illuminati accidentally and then swooping in to rescue her and taking over the whole country in the process.

What if I profiled her because I had a crush on her? What if she fascinated me when her family got all that money in oil in 2008. I keep a dossiers on all of that sort of stuff…and I thought she was really hot and I just wanted to fuck her? Hmm.”

“Oh, I don’t think you did that. That would be a genius plot and I don’t think you lack the intelligence to come up with that but I just doubt it.” says Lem.

Tsar Putin smiles.

“She is mine. But…you’re honorable. I hope.” says Lem.

Later.

“Why are people so profoundly hateful?” asks Lacey. “Does she read this blog and think it’s all about her?”

“Marsie. You really are ugly compared to Lacey. …Do you know that?” asks Minnesota.

“Yeah?” says Marsie, tentatively.

“So you’re not living in reality.” says Lem.

“She’s my equal.” says Marsie.

“OH DEAR GOD!” says the CIA.

“You’re nuts.” says Joe Biden to Marsie.

“What’s wrong with my face?” asks Marsie.

“Why are you so violent!?” asks Japan.

“Marsie laughs.” says Marsie laughing.

“What’s funny, Marsie?” asks Lacey.

“It’s the day my son died?” says Marsie.

“Yeah. Next year you should go to Vegas.” says Lacey. “Taking gaudy vacations is fun too.”

“Yeah! Go all out. Paint your face in gold!” says Zelda.

“AND wear a lipstick color that’s too bold for your face in the wrong color that you bought from Avon again! But add light blue eyeshadow! And ringlets. And fake eyelashes! And…do all of that over gold. Gold paint.” says Lacey.

Harold Loeb laughs.

“Do you know how to relate to people or do you just walk around mumbling narcissistic nonsense?” Lem asks Marsie.

“Hey! I have a partner who’s moderately atty and loves me!” says the other woman, with an accusatory tone.

“Oh my god…we’re nuts.” says Marsie.

“Who’s we?” asks Lem.

“Me and the perfume community.” says Marsie.

“Marsie why do you celebrate your son’s death like it was something special? It’s just sick the way you keep trying to get attention about it.” says the CIA.

She cries.

“Exactly!” says Lacey. “It’s weird how you don’t seem to understand that…it’s not all about you. He died. HE died.” says Lacey.

“Why are you bothering Lacey?” asks South America.

“What am I?” Marsie asks Tucker Max.

“Ahh…about a 7.” says Tucker Max.

Casi snickers.

“Marsie what did you think you were?” asks South America.

“An 8?” says Marsie. “Or a 9?”

“Oh no! You’re not! You’re…a 6?” says Jonah Wiley. He laughs at her.

“You don’t think my son died!” says Marsie.

“Why the fuck would we think that!?” asks the CIA.

“Because I’m a victim of a violent crime today.” says Marsie.

Casi laughs. Then suddenly stops.

“Lacey…what else are you worried about?” Casi asks Lacey.

Chris, her husband laughs.

“That Marsie…has a sex addiction with her partner.” says Lacey.

England laughs.

Casi smirks.

“What the fuck!?” says Marsie.

“Yeah.

Also…that she’s…collecting perfume just to smell like fruit. For her partner.” says Lacey. “I think she has an obsession with the color pink and glitter. And it’s really weird.”

“She’s very hateful towards you.” says Casi to Lacey, covering her mouth.

“Is she a sociopath? Did she kill her son?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah!! That’s what I was wondering.” says Japan.

“Did you sleep with the person who killed him?” asks Lem.

“What do you look like?” asks her partner.

“Who!?” asks Lem.

“I look Japanese.” says Japan.

“Like lizards.” says Queen Elizabeth II to mock her.

“Huh. Haven’t you seen enough photos of Lacey today?” asks a woman form the American South.

“Well I just don’t like evidence. I don’t like evidence because it tends to prove things that I don’t like and so I can usually find some way to poke a hole in it and then I feel a lot better. In this case I’m struggling but I’m still hanging on!” says Marsie’s wife.

“Why? There’s no way Lacey’s not genuinely stunningly good-looking.” says a poor white person from the American South.

“Marsie you do have a bit of a psychotic disorder.

Most people have a vague awareness of what they look like. Lacey is not one of them.

Lacey knows intellectually, but she doesn’t know in a way that can threaten you enough to get you to grow as a person and snap back into reality. …So a lot of narcissistic people like you Marsie and Casi tend to fixate on her because she’s very psychologically appealing she seems like a way for them to prove to themselves and the world – Nancy had this problem too – that there is something special about them and that they’re uniquely beautiful like her or better. So…often they’re ugly. An ugly narcissist, like you, Marsie, but also like you in the sense that you have an ounce of a possibility of being attractive.

You see her as a way out of your misery and the misery is that you’re really actually not special at all. You’re mildly ugly Marsie and so is Casi and so people who are like you Marsie tend to fixate on Lacey. There was a Native American woman who did the same thing. She refused to post pictures of her face because she was somewhat ugly but then she went on and on with Lacey in a private conversation about how beautiful she was and then the end she’s just like, ‘Fine I’m ugly and I’m a fucking idiot and I don’t have anything compared to you!’ But she said it in a way like it wasn’t true even though it’s fact and that’s the problem with someone like you Marsie. You’re not living in reality, sweetie. Marsie you’re dealing with facts that don’t exist and we’re telling them to you in a very objective, rational, scientific, normal way, but it’s not gonna work because you’re not hearing it from her spirit and that’s not something she can do anything about. She wasn’t loved Mardie. So try to put on your thinking cap and be a little intelligent and realize that you’re making a total ass of yourself.

How does she not know that? Because she wasn’t loved. Most people are loved by some mother figure in their life. Lacey has had no mother figure at all, seemingly. Umm…I have no idea where her dead mothers are. I don’t want to even think about it. But in life, she’s had very little mothering that was even fake. She had enough so that she’s turned out normal except for in this area. In this area she’s not perfectly normal. Otherwise she is. And there’s nothing wrong with her but she lacks a sense of awareness in regard to her beauty.

Hey so you can’t- Yeah, you can’t really get into an argument with her Marsie. Not the way you would with most people…because you’ve already lost and you’re just weird now. You’ve outed yourself to the entire Illuminati as a total fucking prick who may have not given a fuck about your son at all.

Do you wanna just go kill yourself? Did you molest him?

Are you looking for a way to kill yourself? Or…or what the fuck was the point of that post?

Because Lacey easily could have killed herself if she’s the person you think she is. You were trying to kill her with that post if you’ve profiled her. And we can easily find our. You were trying to murder her today. Why?

So Marsie, you’ve committed a mortal sin if you had murder in your heart toward her and if you died, I don’t know…hopefully you wouldn’t go to Hell but you’re not in a good place with God. Not if you hoped she’d kill herself. ” says the FBI.

“Yeah, your son is white trash. Was he a drug dealer?” says the CIA.

“Did you fuck a Black man just to like…feel pretty or something. What the fuck is your problem, you stupid bitch?” asks Lacey.

“Yeah…that was before she came out of the closet. That’s an interesting question Lacey.” says Casi.

“I can just see what must go through your head thinking you’re a ‘beautiful person inside.’

‘Today is the day of my son’s death! …I can remember the day he was born…when I held him in my arms, and I looked at his beautiful, smiling face…and my heart filled with joy and pride.

My eyes glistened with love the minute that I saw him walk.

But now the world is a cold…terrible place.

I think I should go dancing to warm my heart!

See…I’m smart! And clever and brave! Gee!

And so I know that when your children die you should go out and face the world bravely. I KNOW SO DAMN MUCH!

Yes you’re brave, Marsie. God! You’re so brave! So fucking brave! …And you can’t just cry and grieve and mind your fucking business Marsie…because it’s not just your misery to experience alone. And your tragedy is not just your tragedy but everyone else’s to experience and yet…you are the star!!

You must take to the streets and dance…and sing…and play music and tell people, ‘My son died.

Today is the day my son died!’

And I shall not now or ever close myself off to attention…and dress in black and wear ashes on my face to tell all with my own physical explanation of misery how sad I am. It is a tragedy! But I shall DANCE instead!!!

I’m unusually good-looking…so I shouldn’t wear ashes and black but go to my hair stylist and have her recommend an Avon agent who can give me a free makeover.

Oh dammit…maybe I should post somewhere for everyone to give me money. Or drugs or alcohol or whatever people can give me to feel better. I’m so sad!! BUT I SHALL BE VICTORIOUS!!!!

And yet…to one and to all I will yell at the top of my lungs to the entire universe:

‘Today is the day that I realized that I would never see him again.

I will never see him again! Do you hear me!?

I will never hold him in my arms.

I will never see him again.

I will never ever…ever again…never see him.’” says Lacey. “No. I will never see my son.

My son is a victim of violent crime, which means…that’s he’s dead.’”

Hemingway laughs.

“You have lots of wisdom to bestow on yourself don’t you Marsie.” says Lacey to Marsie. “Do you ever have honest conversations with yourself though?”

“She’s trying to get my narcissistic bubble to burst so that I’ll leave her alone isn’t she?” says Marsie.

“Oh, but you’re going to be the savior of me and never leave me alone aren’t you Marsie? Because you actually have a really amazing heart and I just don’t understand it. Right?” asks Lacey (sarcastically).

“FUCK! I do that.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Yeah. That’s right!” says Lem, humorously.

“Marsie, last chance to redeem yourself. Were you trying to be funny and ironic? And it just went over really badly?” asks Joe Soucheray.

“No! She’s a bitch.” says Marsie.

“How!?” asks Lem.

“How would you feel if your son died?” asks Marsie.

“What if our son did die?” says Lem.

“You two had a son together?” asks Marsie.

“Yes. We lost three children together if there’s reincarnation.” says Lem.

“But that’s just different. Because they’re babies not adults.” says Marsie.

“Yeah. Losing a hot son is a lot harder for you Marsie?” says Jeffrey Epstein.

“I’m not like that.” says Marsie.

“Really? Then why are you all dressed-up?” asks Jeffrey Epstein.

“That’s what I look like all of the time.” says Marsie.

“All of the time?” says Lacey.

“No.” says Marsie.

“Right. So where are you going?” asks Mary Kay.

“No where special.” says Marsie.

“I love how you match.” says Lacey. “It’s all so red. Like his blood.”

“Was he shot?” asks Lem.

“You know…way to reappropriate his gun wound. Make it a color theme.” says Lacey. “On the day of his death.”

“I often sold color combinations for other special occasions like today is for you. Days like when people had their homes foreclosed on. Or they lost their jobs. Or they were sexually abused or raped. Or for days when they lost a parent to genocide.” says Mary Kay.

“Marsie do you deserve this or non?” asks Lacey, sincerely.

“You’re jealous of me!” says Marsie.

“No. Sweetie. You have that backwards.

Are you a bad person or not?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“I just wanted to show the world that I will not be defeated. On behalf of all of the victims of gun violence.” says Marsie.

“By dressing up!?” says Hemingway.

“What does that show people?” asks Casi.

“That I care.” says Marsie.

“About what!?” asks Lem.

“Herself.” says the other woman who posted among Lacey’s followers.

“Wait! Nobody else posted!?” asks the other woman.

The CIA laughs.

“Are you worried you were too obvious?” asks Lacey.

Casi smiles and nods.

“She’s not funny.” says the other woman.

“We should sue!” says her husband in a huff.

“Based on international law!?” laughs Joe Biden.

A reader laughs.

“You watch out little girl! I come get you!” yells the woman’s husband in his spirit.

“How she little girl Tarzan?” asks Lem.

“I scared man, and you watch you be sorry.” he says enraged and serious.

“So he’s stupid and you’re ugly and that’s why you’re happy together?” says Lacey.

“This is an outrage!” he yells.

“You’ll still see one day ‘we’ll’ figure out that I am the normal one…and it is very kind of me to follow you.

Yes…I like to consider myself a force of decency and normalcy on your block. Well on your gallery on Instagram. Yes?

People like me should follow you…to help guide you with our wisdom.” says the other woman.

“What good have done? Do you see a difference? What change have you and your force for goodness made in my life? Can you see the difference? What have you done?“ says Lacey.

“I am a rocket scientist of madness. My face is profoundly beautiful.

Let’s write a post about my face and analyze it.

My face is like a nude from Paris to text, profound wisdom, and glory to understand my grab with grandeur.” says the other woman. “And you know I could just unfollow you and that would really devastate you. I know I’m by far one of the most meaningful people in your entire existence and if I unfollowed you…you could be so sad. I-I-I hope you-I hope you wouldn’t kill yourself. I really do.” she says sincerely, but also possibly to mock Lacey.

“That’s not an evil thought completely…but you’re kind of an idiot.” says Louis.

“I don’t care that you have British heritage and British genetics. That’s not real. Our genetics don’t affect us once we become American.” says the “blond woman who’s son died.”

“Are you trying to get people to kill themselves? If Lacey took what you wrote to heart…it could deeply affect her.” says Monika. “But mostly it’s how you don’t seem to give two shits about her humanity at all.”

“But today is my day.” says Marsie.

“Wow!” says Monika.

“I wrote her and told her the day my son died.” says Marsie. “He died in March of 2021.”

“No. You didn’t tell her. But I bet you’ve written it on your gallery.” says another perfume collector.

“Doesn’t she obsessively read my every post!!?” says Marsie.

“OH MY GOD!!! She does. I KNOW she does. …Oh my god!” says a woman like Alisha. Those type of women all say stupid shit observations like that at moments like this.

“So…she’s not reading anyone’s posts?” asks Marsie.

“Unless they’re intellectual or her friends than no. Hardly ever. Unless she’s doing it for safety reasons.” says the CIA.

“That’s what I thought. She’s not observant.” says Marsie’s wife.

Casi cracks-up laughing at them.

“She’s not observant!?” says the CIA.

“Yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Right?” says Marsie’s wife.

“No. Not necessarily. Go on.” laughs the CIA.

“So…she’s not good at caring about anyone but herself!” says Marsie’s wife.

“No. She cares about her friends.” says Matthew Nesheim. “Or when she has them she does.”

“But she doesn’t have any friends because she’s a psychopath. See! I’m so wise!” says Marsie’s wife. “I’m the total wife material package. I can cook, clean, fix things, make money, have sex, and be mean. AND…I’m a woman. So…there’s that too.” she says cutely.

“Marsie…in all your gay-wisdom…can you explain to me why you…as a woman…enjoy her? She’s OBNOXIOUS.” says Lacey, sincerely, rationally and calmly, albeit with a bit of sarcastic snark.

“Why would it be different as a man?” asks Marsie’s wife.

“Because I don’t feel like you’re trying to destroy men. I feel like you’re actually trying to destroy other women but Marsie is an exception.“ says Lacey.

“Fuck! We are way off about her in our analysis.” says Marsie in tears to her wife.

“See what I want to know is why the fuck you too sat around even talking about me at all. That’s so fucking weird.” says Lacey.

“I thought she was really pretty.” says Marsie’s wife about Marsie.

“What the hell is that!?” says Lem.

“Yeah I don’t know how to take that comment because that’s just fucking all over the place. Could one of you try to explain yourselves slightly. The Illuminati is trying to read your spirit but we’re not getting a good read on you and we don’t want to cause problems for you if you don’t deserve it, so can you please try to explain to us why the hell you two sat around thinking about her at all? She’s right it’s actually a little weird, so why are you guys obsessed with her? It’s creepy as fuck.” says the Pope.

“I wanted her as one of my chosen ones for my wife to role-play in the bedroom and likewise with my wife. We both found her arousing.” says Marsie’s wife.

“Did I ever consent to that?” says Lacey.

“Can I just pop in a real hot minute here to say that it’s creepy to me that gay men did that to Lem and that women who aren’t straight do that to Lacey. But her reaction is wildly, more appropriate and healthy and productive so kudos to women for that well…or just her. But what the fuck is up with us honestly? It makes it seem like we’re either evil and profoundly violent humans or it suggests that there’s something hella creepy going on because it’s it’s fucked-up if she is Scotia and he’s Constantine. You guys are dumb as hell. And as a gay man I’m sorry to have to say this but I have a far better grasp of history than whatever fucking bullshit you two probably think. Do you even know who Scotia is. Like do you have a fucking clue what that even means?” asks gay men.

“OK am I retarded or is she in idiot? Oh my God.” says this woman.

“Has she offended you?” asks Joe.

“What!? Why would she have offended me!?” asks the woman. “I’m just trying to say that face is all weird and messed-up!”

“Oh! How!?” asks Lacey.

“Okay. Her forehead is big.” she says seriously.

“ OK to be honest you’re full of shit her face is almost perfectly proportional. She doesn’t have a big forehead. This picture makes it look like that’s possible if you look at a lot of other pictures of her it doesn’t look possible so it’s fine of those pictures and then you can give us your profound inside about that.” says Lem.

“Oh my God! My wife thought she had a huge forehead too but in these pictures it disappeared. Holy shit Cheryl what’s going on?” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, seriously.

“I mean I don’t look at the whole face and try to figure out if it’s beautiful as a whole because if I do that if tricks you into thinking she’s pretty.” say most living women.

“Yeah!

I do the same thing I have an-I have an unusually, extraordinarily pretty face.

I just have to look at each individual thing…and I had analyze it in the mirror like an expert told me to. But then I don’t look at the whole face because if I look at my whole face, I look ugly-as-fuck but if I look at the individual things, I can see my profound extraordinary beauty.

But when I look at Lacey’s face…it’s hard to see it. She’s extremely beautiful. Which is a scam!

But I when I look at the individual things I don’t see it either in her eyes or her nose or her lips. So then I have to think hard.

So then I look at her forehead in the picture and it makes me think shes ugly. And that’s God! Yes…that must be God speaking to me through the Holy Spirit…and that’s what she looks like, so thank you Jesus I just realized how she’s ugliness embodied.” says this woman.

“But then why do you think we’re mad at you if we don’t actually know that you’re beautiful?” asks that woman.

“Oh you caught me! I’m an evil person now!” says Lacey.

“I expected you to read my mind.” says Casi.

“That’s very sexually violent.” says Lem. “Do any of you realize that?”

They all play dumb.