Kick It In

“Are all women rapist lesbians? Do you realize I was molested by the mother who raised me and abandoned by my birth mother?” asks Lacey.

“Yah! Kiss my vagina!” yells Marsie, striping naked.

She waves this flag

and says,

“Thank you Jesus for liberating me from the evil bullshit of this ugly fucking woman from Hell!” says Marsie.

“Oh my God I am like so fucking cute.

I am like the hottest thing to ever exist!

And I just want to say Lacey, ‘You’re really ugly! Yeah…you’re really genuinely ugly…and I mean that. I do! I promise you! I do! I mean it from the bottom of my heart and I really hope that someday God liberates you and you’re able to be as happy as me.

This is my husband and we have great sex every night. And he’s ALIVE. You’re a LOSER! And he love me for myself not for my beauty because he loves me for being the most beautiful man to ever exist.” says the woman above.

“Oh no, that man’s gay because there’s no way a man that looks like that could ever possibly be straight. No…you’re mistaken.” says a gay man, seriously.

“Should I read him to figure out whether or not he’s actually gay?” asks Lacey.

“I thought you’d be crying by now and killing yourself. I’m so confused.” says Marsie, devastated.

“Anyway…that man is clearly gay. No…Lacey I don’t want to hear your opinion. No…you’re not a gay man.

You know nothing about homosexuality because you’re a conservative Christian and you have a really conservative old classic beauty that went out of style a really long time ago, so I don’t think it’s likely that someone as old and beautiful and classic as you in an outdated immoral way could possibly ever know anything about homosexuality. One of my straight friends says that he’d fuck you but I can tell he’d never commit to you so that clearly means that you don’t have social skills and know how to hook a hottie or you’re just a freak emotionally. So I would suggest you just go kill yourself too. That’s my suggestion. I don’t give a shit about you. I don’t have to you’re an immoral conservative.” says a living gay man.

“Yah…like I mean I am confused about why she’s not crying too…because I know she’s deep and I thought that if I posted a picture happy with my husband that somehow that would make her wanna kill herself. I thought thar if I tilted my head and acted pretty that it would alter my face and I would look extremely pretty, and I am such a brilliant genius that I thought it would really work.” says this woman.

“I know looking at that picture of myself I really am. I am an extraordinarily beautiful woman. I love looking at my own face, which is why I am smiling at myself in the picture. Oh.” she says.

“I make her feel very pretty I loved.” says her husband.

“Is that to hurt women who are more beautiful than her?” asks Lem.

“Yes and no.” he says.

“What you’ve never told me this. You’ve never told me that I am not the most beautiful woman to ever live. I believed you.” says the woman.

“You are losing your pretty power. I am a communist advocate for ugliness and power for the ugly people.” says her husband to Lacey.

“Yeah, you’re trying to devolve the human race into ugly pieces of shit?” asks the Illuminati.

“If that’s what it takes to make my wife feel loved I said good. Yah! Jesus thank you!” says her husband laughing in (weird) joy.

“And I just am waiting to be smarter and better than her. I will wait 1000 in years. I am so excited for the day I am clearly superior and it is obvious to her and me both…and I can look her in the eye in my mind and say, ‘See…I told you! So I’m better than you? Okay. Now go to Hell! You threatened me by lying with your face! And I caught you red-handed.”says this woman.

“You know yesterday was the day. It was the day your son died Marsie. He was a victim of a violence, and I just wanted to remind you in case if you’d forgotten.” says Lem.

“You know I’m a little worried it is the end of the world if the Dispensationalists are correct because I’m starting to think humans have become more evil than me.” says Satan.

“What does Lacey get out of this?” asks the woman above.

“And it’s weird how you’re aware that you’re evil and then you just don’t get it again all of the sudden. I don’t know. No…it’s not clear but God knows.” says Lem.

“We’re never going to be her best friends?” asks this woman.

“Is that what you want from her?” asks Lem.

They fart and make big eyes like gay men…and then look confused.

“We really just want her to die and never be with anyone for eternity and just cease to exist.” they say.

“FUCK!” yells Satan. “You’re SO evil.”

“Really Satan…because it makes me wanna masturbate to them. I mean my God! I can barely exist myself. I’m so excited.” says Jonah Wiley.

“Oh…see now you’re my best friend! Now Jonah yeah…he’s a real good guy. That’s a good guy.” they say, sincerely.

“Yah…these are good women. Yah…we’re good people we’re such fucking good people!” says Jonah.

“Did we help contribute to the death of Matthew Nesheim if I actually meant that post for you today to hurt you?” asks Marsie.

“Yeah, oh absolutely! We harnessed your energy to help kill him.” says the evil Illuminati.

“See Lacey that’s why I am elite in you’re not. That’s why I am a loving good woman of God and you’re not.” says Marsie.

“I was thinking of something mean to say to, but that’s a good one. I was gonna-I was just gonna say that Matthew Nesheim is a poopy pants and leave it at that.” says this woman.

“And he’s a Jewish spy and a Jewish cocksucking piece of shit. He became a Jew. He became a Jew.” says this woman.

“Oh my God you guys she thinks we’re crazy and so does Vladimir Putin and China, and most of the world outside of the US but we have the EU standing with us with Ukraine. So…I’m not too worried.” says this woman.

“She is such a fucking mean girl. She’s such a fucking mean girl! Oh my God she reminds me of Regina George.” says this man.

“You know what?

This is gonna make sense eventually because I’m starting to feel like I did something wrong and I really don’t know why…but I’m going to resist that with the power of the Holy Spirit.” says this woman.

“And a woman on Instagram with his profile picture says:” says Lacey.

“And I bought a title for $2000 in Norway so I called myself Lady Astor and clean-up Chateaux with my maids for fun. That’s plural for castle in French.” she says.

“What the fuck is it with women farting in the last few years. I have seen so many fucking women make jokes about farting?” asks the CIA.

“That’s the joke. It’s that we fart. Really people who are in the know find it funny and people like you who are old-fashioned and dumb don’t.” they say.

“You know they got their titles through stealing it from poor people who they beat the fucking shit out of all of the time so amen to us and amen to you for buying a title.” says Madison, a transgender perfume collector.

“Oh I only bought my title for fun. This is starting to seem strange so I feel like I should backtrack a little bit.” says Lady Brooksy, as she calls herself.

“Well…I say amen God bless you for buying a title, unless if, unless, if it bothers the trade program, I’m a genius I read the newspaper.” says Madison.

“You know, you used to be a nice person before you sold out to try to become cool and I don’t wanna hear some shit excuse for how you were bullied by people. Why the hell did you decide to become a mean girl?” asks a man who knew her.

“I mean you have to sell out be mean to people like Lacey otherwise people won’t think you have any sort of credibility as a human being and I’m more interested in myself and her humanity is worthless to me because she’s a conservative rich person who’s pretty. I mean I could possibly confide in her. She’s too scary and mean. She was so gross and so fucking gross so fucking far beneath me it’s embarrassing she exists. I even talk to hate people like that they’re not human.” says Madison, a trans woman.

“How is she a ‘hate person?’” asks Joe Biden.

“I wouldn’t call her ‘a hate person’.’ I’m her imitating her immaturity as an intellectual bimbo. It’s bimbo not ditz you’re thinking of you fucking idiot, Lacey. I have a feminist movement organizer of immense proportions within my veins!” says Madison. “Also I hear voices in my head of people making fun of me for being trans all the time. I’m a schizophrenic.”

“I don’t think you’re a schizophrenic. Madisonyou’re a hypocrite.” says an Englishman.

“Well, that’s cool but how?” asks Madison.

“ well, Madison, because she stood up for you. Behind your back, she stood up for you and said that you were prettier than most people to Stephanie in Malaysia. Stephanie told her that you were bullied by someone and so she decided to start the rumor using Stephanie that you were just prettier than other people to try to help you to protect you Because she had real empathy for you.

And that’s not all.

She also was very friendly in a genuine way, and nice to you to your face and likes your posts because she felt bad for you because you had never had a childhood as a girl and you were paid her by stabbing her in the back emotionally psychologically and who the hell knows how else.” says the CIA.

“Fuck! I love it! Good for you!” says Bobby. “ it’s St. Patrick’s Day you go bitch you fucking go you Irish cool kid.” he says sincerely.

“ I am not Irish. I am a proud English woman. My family is aristocratic we don’t have a title because we’re better than the aristocracy were the real aristocracy of Great Britain.” says Madison, sincerely.

“ so you don’t think that British aristocracy is like a thing?” asks Lem.

“ you were just all a bunch of sheets, traders and pieces of shit. It’s the working people like me who are the backbone of society and I am very proud to be a beautiful trans woman. I know you’re just hating on me because I’m trans. That’s all this blog is about those hating people who are ugly and disadvantage like me a poor ugly, trans woman who works at a transit station. I’m crying real tears you don’t cry because you’re not as humid as me so far stabs you in the back and three went to hell for eternity is because I am human and you’re a worthless piece of shit.” her spirit says in tears.

“ are you aware that that’s bullshit or not?” asks the DNC.

“ know what that’s not bullshit that’s Jesus.” says Madison, spreading her legs.

“ oh, that’s Jesus?” asks England.

“ yes I thought Jesus all the time in my heart and with my body.” says Madison.

“ is this Kathy real this is getting too weird a few minutes ago I was thinking OK we’re getting somewhere and now I’m starting to think that this is just Madison being an English evil trader do people like me.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ Bobby why don’t you think she’s telling the truth I think she really does have sex with some entities she thinks of in her subconscious as Jesus.” says Lem.

“ oh, you think that’s a woman lame aren’t you worried you’re going to hell for saying that?” says Bobby sincerely.

“ bobby we don’t have to be friends with these people let’s stand up for ourselves and walk away.” says Madison.

“ I just want to find out real quick why don’t you think she could be fucking an entity called Jesus Bobby?” asks Lem.

“ because her energy when she says that reminds me of Lacey He’ll Lacey is when she has sex because I’ve watched you have sex with her and that just convince me right off the bat something fishy going on.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ bobby did you just mean to make a joke about vaginas are not?” asks one of his white supremacist supporters, with concern.

“ I would still like to know what it is a Bobby that makes you think that this woman isn’t having sex whether she’s a woman or not in her subconscious with an entity not with Jesus but with an entity not with actual Jesus, but with an entity, she labels Jesus in her subconscious, I’m calling her her out of respect for her out of respect for her humanity.” says Lem. “ because that’s what she wants to be called and it might not be what she is but I can’t see into her mind well enough to know what it is that she’s experiencing God Ken and why I can’t I’m saying that Lacey can’t so I don’t know but Lacey doesn’t know especially and so well OK I do know that wasn’t said correctly but Lacey doesn’t know so I’m trying to work with things and that’s what she wants to be called and that’s between her and God and I respect her humanity so that’s why I’m calling her that, but what I wanna know is why don’t you think that she could be having sex with an entity she calls Jesus?” asks Lem.

“ and there’s no way that you’re not gay.

That was the gayest thing I’ve ever heard outside of other things you’ve said that was so gay how about we just go make love it’s late I’m exhausted I need a release. I have tension slime, and I am a man now.“ says Bobby.

“ oh no, thank you Bobby could you please answer the question?” says Lem.

“ i’ll tell you why because she’s a man and I don’t believe that transgendered people are real.” says Bobby.

“ OK but you think homosexuality is?” asks Lem.

“ yes because I experience it. I’ve taken a tactic recently of saying things that are truthful in a way that sounds too blunt to be me telling the truth to try to fool people. I am also a little drunk right now for St. Patrick’s Day already.” says Bobby.

“ you know I’m thinking about the best way to kill my children right now and my wife, because I’m beginning to think that people really barely exist and I don’t trust her to be live. I don’t my daughter to be a doctor you people don’t deserve to live.” say Lem.

“ oh, OK so we’re taking away hospitals now?” asks a hater.

“ yeah because people are starting to feel like going to med schools not worth it in most parts of the world because this is beginning to be too big of a problem and people don’t want except the responsibility of what they’ve done or be good people because they’re too sold on some jack ass stupid as fuck idea that was sold to us at the end of the 20th century after your uncles administration so I can see where things are looking pretty dire for the world right now and you know what I’m not sure if they’re going to get better Bobby your family really is a total piece of shit.” says India.

“ oh well thank you very much. I know you don’t mean that.” says Bobby.

“ and Bobby, I’m still trying to figure out why you don’t think she’s fucking an entity that she thinks is called Jesus couldn’t she be a gay man?” says Lem.

“ I yeah yeah that’s a real good question why are you talking about that right now you’re coming onto me are you you know I just accidentally made Lacey grab her Boop which I know arouse you so then there we are having sex like old times right?” says Bobby.

“ she just was holding a phone and it’s plugged into the wall cause it’s dying and weirdly. The cord brushed her boob. I would hardly call that her grabbing her own boob Bobby.” says Lem.

“ you’re lying I’m gonna say that like a Scottish person.” says Bobby.

“ are you gonna exist after you die? Are you going to cease to exist?” says Lem.

“ I’m going to be a ruler of the world.” says Bobby.

“ bobby are you the antichrist?” asks India.

“ yeah I guess possibly but I doubt it and I think maybe she could be a fucking Jesus but that would be the real Jesus not an entity.” says Bobby.

“ all these years I’ve had it wrong I’ve always said, Jesus fucking Christ I didn’t realize that shit for jokingly saying, Jesus fucking Madison.” says Kurt Cobain.

“ hey that’s funny!” says a hater.

“ why is that?” asks the CIA.

“ because it’s a joke mocking Jesus and those are always funny.” says a woman.

“ I think I I think that I think that she could be having sex with an entity called Jesus.” says Bobby.

“ no you don’t.” says Lem.

“ eyes I really don’t understand how anyone could fuck an English woman. Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” says Bobby.