“MY World” by a Middle Class Gay Man

I’m poor.

Okay?

I buy…$4,000 in perfume as…an extremely guilty indulgence. I have money. …But…not like you and Mark. You two…are money.

And yet I bet Mark gets along with almost everyone and you don’t.

“I had trouble getting along with people too. But I was actually evil. But…it’s almost besides the point. Lacey and I are similar.” says Athalia Ponsell.

“That is so true in a way. You’re different people, but you’re somewhat similar.

Why…did you both change your birth names?” asks a gay man.

“How rude!” says Athalia. She scoffs. She stares.

The gay men wait.

“Sorry! I was doing some killing of demons.” says Athalia. “It’s fun.”

The gay men nod.

“Umm…so…I did it for evil reasons. And Lacey did it for non evil reasons. But we had the same idea.” says Athalia.

“Which was what!?” asks the FBI.

“I was getting away from the truth of my childhood and my innocence and Lacey was getting at the truth of her childhood and her natural human innocence.” says Athalia.

“Are you two gossips at all?” asks a gay man.

“No.” says Athalia smiling.

“Joe why did you involve yourself with these two women?” asks Pat Wilson.

“ yeah I got off the drug trip real quick. I just remember the advice Lacey and Lem’s gave him and I thought I think I can control this so I started praying for Cillian and all the Silleans and it went away. What do you know a spiritual warfare for a dead Catholic and purgatory works is not something.

So anyway, why was involved with him? It’s really stupid Cecelia and I met him possibly in Florida she was from Florida we had a house in Florida. She was into that kind of thing I wasn’t that kind of thing it might’ve been something along those lines we met through friends well, I’ll say that I hope that we met we met at a party met at a club that kind of thing.

Oh, and she was my type she was just kind of there. Lacey was loves twin flame and my brother got us involved with that, so even though there are very similar people in a weird way that Credit is almost creepy to some people that’s sort of just the nature of a fallen world, that’s just the nature of being human. There’s all these sort of synchronicity weird things when you start delving into it and this way, you can find them in any human being’s life like your aunt knew this other random person’s doctor and then somehow the doctor became your best friend And it doesn’t look like it’s a big deal but then when you’re dead, it starts to see on spiring, but that’s just the fabric of the universe. That’s just how God made us. It’s like a cloth it’s like a you know we’re atoms, so we’re all sort of interconnected not in a Buddhist way, but like scientifically were interconnected Which is also I mean that’s just Christianity God made everything so I’m not trying to be mean to the Buddhist but Christ is God so I’m sorry today is St. Patrick’s Day and my middle name is Patrick so I celebrate this day a little differently than some people do so a tip to me it’s a day of being very serious Anyway and Pat Patricia my wife am I feel the same way? I think that’s part of the reason we got along so well she’s Patricia and I am Joseph Patrick so in a weird way we were a lot of like it was just her names speaking the fabric of the universe is just who we are, it’s not beautiful?

I know I feel very in love with my wife today.

I know it’s not the drugs. It’s not Molly. It’s really just it’s just God anyway, ask John and Wiley. God really does affect us like drugs. Sincerely, it’s a good height but it’s not a high. It’s far better better than that. I hope he’s actually experienced. It concerns me, but no it’s it’s an accident in a way Pat I wasn’t trying to involve us with them. They were just sort of there.” says Pat.

“ OK but you didn’t have to date Athalia. And…Lacey was your father’s soulmate.” says Patricia.

Joe thinks. “ Lacey makes bangers and mash every St. Patrick’s Day for her family. She makes good Irish real meat like good bangers well they do know they used to buy them at Trader Joe’s but now they get really good good meat and then she makes a good gravy from scratch and then she makes good mashed potatoes without milk, I mean she’s it’s served it’s good it’s really genuinely good it’s like Irish pub food but better and that’s what I’m trying to say is that she’s like a mom to me and away I kind of realize there was something weird going on a few years ago like one or two years ago on St. Patrick’s Day because I wanted to sort of lean in on her while she was cooking the Bangerz and give her a kiss and like cut up you know come onto her and I felt weird I thought why don’t I wanna do this I wanna let’s just want to stare at her and watch what she’s doing.

No, I just wanted to stare at her and watch what she was doing like what is she doing with that meat that’s my meat and what is she gonna do she’s gonna make the potatoes those better be good and then it was like they were turning out real good and I thought this is creepy and my brain started getting fried.

And then I thought shit because she didn’t molest me at all really I slept with her first and then my father slept with her which is totally fucked up but they’re not soulmates anymore possibly because of that but no, so I start thinking shit I can get out of this, because no, she didn’t molest me at all.

Oh, and so then I just got out of it and then I was like what the hell who said now I fucking hate her and I’ve kind of hated her ever since I had a little part of me, I think does hate her like she’s a stepmom, who stole my heart and my husband know who stole Krystal who stole my know my family is very screwed up She’s sort of like a stepmother who stole my dad

Oh, so she’s told my dad it’s unclear who from right me or my father I’m joking but no she’s still my father and then it’s like she still is attractive to me but I’m like why the hell am I even here And suzanne I’ve had to realize no it’s just that’s loves wife I was just hitting I love his wife how do you spell loves wife attractive and I’m just like oh shit Innoway I was evil, but Innoway I also was taken advantage of by my dad and possibly my mom and my brother at least one of them and then who knows who else in my family And you had the other other side though to I think I was just sort of crushing on my friends wife. Hi

And which case I’m like what the fuck why is she making our food on St. Patrick’s Day? So I would like to ask that question why the hell are you as British aristocrats celebrating St. Patrick’s Day with bangers and mash Lacey?” asks Joe.

“ because that’s the food I like to eat most.” says Lacey, annoyed.

“But that’s the food I like to eat most too.” says Joe, annoyed.

“yeah and if I had given birth to you, we would’ve eaten a lot of that while you were in my womb.” says Lacey.

Joe thinks. “ I have high cheekbones like you to and I’m also unusually attractive for people in my family. You’re not my mom but it’s a close shave and I’m sorry I hope. Actually, you’re not my mom which is why we look so good together because you’re not my mom and it almost works but I fell apart.

You’re too strong for me and that’s an insult to my masculinity not to you.

But then I think fuck yeah she’s too strong. I’m too strong for everyone else.

OK.

Oh, but you could’ve been my mom so that’s why we were able to be together. You really could be my mom or shit so outside of my father you couldn’t be my mom but through my dad you could be the night ass I like to ask you this question.

Why the fuck do we eat so much bangers and mash?” asks Joe Kennedy Junior.

“ it’s the saltiness mixed with the potato, and then the juiciness of the meat.” says Lacey.

“Umami.” says Joe.

“ yes, it’s like a natural umami.” says Lacey.

“How- I can never find that where else can you find that?” asks Joe.

“In Thai cooking.” says Lacey.

“ oh, OK just Thai!?!” says Joe.

“ the way that you and I like it. No, I’ve only ever found it and good Thai cooking him. I’ve never tasted that kind of umami in anything other than Thai food.” says Lacey.

“ are yeah you’re not my mom you’re not my mom and I was in love with you you’re like my little sexy encyclopedia. I but you’re not mine you’re not my fucking mom and I’m mad at my dad because what the hell is this shit?

I know him and he molested me and this woman could be his soulmate and she wasn’t no she’s not anymore and it’s like you could tell me anything I want and you do it in the sweet submissive way, which I think is adorable as a man, but anyway, not quite like that but him so do you see that Lacey what’s over there?” says Joe.

Lacey looks.

“ a man in the illuminati conjuring an erection in you.” says Lacey.

Warning by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

And at that Lacey gets attacked by American liberals and evil Black worldwide liberals who side with the Kennedys in particular. She feels like she’s fading. Literally. She struggles to breath. …But she does.

“Dammit. That was supposed to work.” says Joe Kennedy Junior embarrassed.

“What the fuck is your fucking problem you useless little piece of shit!?” asks Lacey.

The living Kennedys dance awkwardly to hope to make something happen.

“I love you, baby!” says Joe trying to sound badass like gangsters.

“Nah. This good African shit! DAMN!” says Lacey.

Africa laughs.

“Joe she can’t trust you.

This literally could kill her.

She’s fighting for her physical life right now and you’re telling her to trust you like you’re a lover!?!?

Oh my god you’re a stupid fuck!” yells Athalia Ponsell.

“No I’m not!” says Joe.

“Well that was interesting.

No, I think you were trying to kill me most likely Joe…and I think it’s because Pat’s jealous because she’s so fucking ugly.

You two are such a useless morons.

Umm..God could you just put like nooses around their necks and put them off somewhere? God thanks so much.” says Lacey.

Warning by The Notorious B. I. G. plays for Lacey as Egypt gets down. As per usual.

“They borrowed the Egyptian beat to make rap. But…I LOVE IT!” says Lacey.

Ancient Africa waves.

“They’re EGYPTIAN not Black. But they’re…not entirely like us? But…that’s possibly the Muslim in me.” says a current Egyptian. “They’re…so…Egyptian.”

“Yeah. And we helped preserve their souls through rap.” says Ancient Africa.

Hypnotize by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

“Lacey how well do you dance?” asks the CIA.

“She looks like thee people. Literally. It’s very controlled. But it’s not popping. It’s…

It’s not just sex. It’s…war. And telekinesis.

They’re EGYPT!!!” yells Emperor Constantine.

“What the fuck did we steal from ourselves?” asks an Egyptian.

“You still practice it very quietly.” says Athalia.

The Egyptians smirk.

“In its glory days it was a confusion about Jesus. Ancient Egypt was confused about Jesus.

It was a confusion about God. We were trying to worship Jesus before Jesus came, so we were trying to invent Him before he came, and God knew that and sympathized with us. So be careful with your beetle bracelets and stuff like that because that’s what we devolved into, I suspect. That’s not what we were in our glory days. I’m not trying to admonish you in a mean way I hope.” says Lacey.

“I helped the current living world repress her spirit. So if she’s Egyptian you didn’t sense that because of me. You’re welcome?” says Jim Craft the father who raised her says in a genuine gay voice, confused. “Ahh…so…what’s the problem!?” He sounds so sweet and pleasant and innocuous.

Awkward silence.

Got Your Money by Ol’ Dirty Bastard plays to mock Jim Craft.

“I ain’t got your money.” says Lacey.

“Okay. Fine!” says Jim to Lacey.

“Yeah. It’s my money.” says Lacey.

And at that he tries to molest her.

She ducks.

He runs after her.

She darts away.

He comes at her with a knife.

She’s shoots him and then crushes in his skull with her heel.

“That’s fascinating.” says Ancient Ireland. “See…we never did stuff like that. That’s far more powerful!” Ancient Ireland says to Joe Kennedy Junior to explain.

And at that Bobby Kennedy Senior sings Have You Ever Seen The Rain by Creedence Clearwater.

“So we’ve had molestation in our family. But we handled it.” says Mica Craft.

“Yup.” says Ron Craft.

“That’s too bad that Jim is like that.” says Alex Craft.

“Yeah.

See… he’s yeah he’s not my father biologically and so I don’t entirely know what you’re all feeling right now. I am incredibly angry but it’s in a very stuffy British way and I’m not sure what exactly the fuck you’re expecting me to do.” says Lacey, primly.

“We don’t want you to attack us.” says Alex condescendingly like Jonah Wiley.

The Nesheims start snickering. “And you thought we were fucked-up!”

“What!? He’s standing-up for his uncle.” says Jonah Wiley and Hillsong Worship.

“We don’t honor worshipping Jesus that way.” says Pat Nesheim.

“Why are you snubbing her humanity?” asks Shelly Craft from the grave.

“Mom. It’s not like that. I’m a badass now.” says Alex.

“She’s not evil…Alex…just because she’s Egyptian.” says Shelly, laughing at the stupidity of it all with Lacey.

The Scientist by Coldplay plays.

“Yeah. But she just smashed in Jim’s skull.” protests Alex.

Jim is silent.

“Yeah!! That’s the way, Alex! Good on you!” says Hillsong.

“But Alex…she smashed in his skull because she’s Black.” says Shelly laughing.

Mica laughs.

Shelly waits.

“It’s just scary.” says Alex.

“So you’re going to be a fool about it!?” says Shelly.

“Crap.” says Morgan.

“He’s evil and nuts.” says Shelly about Jim, laughing.

“How are you doing!?” asks Mike, her husband.

“Not great.” says Shelly.

Alex laughs.

“I’m sorry I married Faye.” says Mike.

Shelly laughs and shakes her head no.

“You’re dead.” says Mike.

“Yeah. I know!” says Shelly.

“I will be too someday!” says Mike, smiling.

“I’m not mad at you.” says Shelly.

“I just wanted normalcy.” says Mike.

They chat in their spirits happily if God allows it.

“You know I’m starting to think that death is a scam but not like a real scam but kind of a scam.” says a Christian.

Lord Of The Rings: Fellowship Of The Rings, Film Score by Howard Shore plays sincerely for Lacey to some degree…and as a joke for the Crafts.