“Lordly” by Lem Billings

“idea 22” as performed by Xavier Louis plays.

Lacey’s life is far more aristocratic and yet ghastly than you think.

Yesterday Pat Wilson stood up for her. Pat Wilson. …Pat brutally stole Joe. She did. And on St. Patrick’s Day I had a male 20th Century British aristocrat yell at me. He demanded I “let it go” and then he intimated that if I didn’t I’d risk losing her to him. He was very serious.

Lacey made bangers and mash for her family as per usual and then sat in his enormous house in her spirit and finally felt some mild piece of mind.

What’s so ghastly? No one has ever talked to her. Her whole damn life. No one. And some people in the perfume community even went a step more sadistic, vile and arrogant and insisted that their delusions of her…BE REAL. Especially Casi. Casi was violently insisted her delusions were true.

Lacey’s parents who raised her had violently held delusions too. They both…were terrible. But…the spoke to her conscience and her consciousness. They acknowledged that she existed. They raised her to be very upright and good. And well mannered. But they never talked to her.

So…Lacey’s idea of love…romantic love…was to be talked to. To have someone talk to you. She’d seen it in films. The characters fall in love and then behind closed doors or off somewhere they talk to each other. They really talk to each other. Whether they’ve ever talked to anyone else or not was…variable. But she had it in her head that they would finally be seen and loved, which meant being talked to. That’s her idea of a shining moment of glorious love. Just having someone finally talk to you.

I think the perfume community obsessively watched her every move to analyze who she is. And they got some slight idea. But they really didn’t…figure her out. And while they did…copy her…even going so far as to steal her signature fragrance…they never actually figured out who she was.

I wrote yesterday about how Lacey isn’t gay. She’s not. And actually I wasn’t either. But…that’s not…my point. I think people have stupidly decided Lacey has to be a lesbian because it threatens them too much to consider otherwise for even a second. Even if she is confusing at times with her innate confidence, or whatever you want to call it.

So what is it? I’m pretty sure I know who she is. And…she’s vastly different than who you think she is, I suspect. But…I wonder…do any of you see her actual spirit at all or not?

No?

Okay. *Lem laughs* Lacey is…jolly. She’s not happy. She’s actually extremely sad. She has…profound, possibly deadly sadness actually. At times I wonder if she could literally cry herself to literal death. I’m worried she’d have a seizure. Truly. You have no idea. …But she’s incredibly jolly. Very…British.

Did you ever watch Monty Python? You know when they refuse to die? And they’re so jolly about it? That’s Lacey.

Casi once made fun of Lacey for her #lesigh. But Lacey never sighs that way. EVER. …That alone is a repulsive insult of epic proportions. And if you think I’m joking I’m not. No! Lacey…sighs the sighs of literal death.

“Then who are interacting with!??” asks Casi in a gross panic.

“HER!!” yells Lem.

“But she’s so cheerful!” says Nancy who’s as possibly as vain and self-aggrandizing as she is Puerto Rican.

“Yes! Yes, of course she’s cheerful. That doesn’t mean she’s happy.” says a dead British Lord. “People can be cheerful without being happy.”

So you can’t see her? At all?!?

“You know…I think started to see her. Right when I first started talking to her.” says Casi.

“Yes! At times I talked to her.” says Nancy.

“Then why didn’t you keep talking!??” says Lem.

“She’s not my father!?!?” asks Caroline Kennedy weeping. “How could God do this to my family!?! And to me!?” she whines.

“It’s okay! Cheer up!” says Princess Kate, getting chemotherapy.

“Kate! Where are you, honey!?” asks Caroline Kennedy, in a lofty, lordly, posh, arrogant manner.

“Oh! Are you chit chatting with Kate?” asks Bobby Kennedy, in his best attempt to be posh.

“Yes!” says Caroline.

The Kennedys are annoyed at Princess Kate is distracted.

“Kate! What are you doing dear?” asks Caroline.

“I’m just getting these injections!” says Kate.

“Oh! Chemotherapy?” says Caroline like it’s a huge inconvenience…for her…for Princess Kate…to have cancer.

“What’s Princess Kate doing!?” asks Bobby.

“Being a huge bitch.” says Caroline, annoyed.

“What!?” says Bobby, empathetically annoyed.

“She’s getting her cancer treatments.” says Caroline, lighting up a joint and snarling.

Drop It Like It’s Hot by Snoop Dogg plays for the Kennedys who believe they chill dogs. Cool. Smacking it. Macking it. …Handsome. Kind. Funny. Da snizzle drizzle y’all!

“Why is that bitch getting cancer treatments anyway?” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

Caroline laughs.

“If I had her life I’d just die.” says Bobby laughing. lol

“Yeah. I know…right?” says Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg, laughing.

“My god! Her face! She’s so fucking skinny.” says Bobby.

“Yeah. I know. And it’s going to get worse.” says Caroline Kennedy, laughing.

A moment later.

“Okay!” says Princess Kate, cheerfully. “I’m back!”

“Kate! Lover!!!” says Caroline opening her eyes wide like Lem to look hot. She doesn’t realize that that was his “gay look” not his actual eyes. Even though her brain reads that as him being gay and she “…doesn’t want to talk about it!” They all imagine they were his children. That their grandparents came over on the Mayflower (unfortunately possibly almost literally).

Moments later.

“What’s wrong, Caroline? I can hear it in your voice!” says Kate telepathically.

“Ahh. Well…I’m glad you are doing better!” says Caroline.

“What!?” says Princess Kate.

“Look. Katie…I’m busy today. Mmmkay?” says Caroline. She throws her long hair behind her shoulder and tells herself she’s the hottest piece of ass to ever exist and she’s got he biggest heart to ever exist too. All the Kennedys live by that motto: “We are the hottest pieces of ass to ever exist…BUT…we are also PROFOUNDLY KIND. …Possibly kinder than Jesus?” *shrug* They believe they’re HOT but also EXTREMELY GOOD.

“You are now looking at one smart black boy!” says JFK in the past listening to Jay Z. “He’s my spirit animal!”

“You know Kate threw-up yesterday.” says Lacey. “A lot.”

The Kennedys look sad.

“You should all go shove your fingers down your throats until you all vomit too. Wouldn’t that be enjoyable? To be so profoundly empathetic?” says Lacey.

“We don’t do that.” says Joe I, haughtily.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because. We don’t get cancer.” says Joe I.

“Why?” asks Lacey, empathetically.

“Ahh. Duh!” says Joe I. “We can’t afford to.”

“Why?” asks Lacey, empathetically.

You Can Do It by Ice Cube plays for Caroline and Bobby.

“It’s our theme song!” says Caroline laughing with her first cousin.

“You can do it! Put your back into it!” says Bobby, laughing with Caroline.

“We ain’t like that. Look. …Bobby has this theory that the British Royal Family is buying cancer.

Yeah.

See…we’re not like that anymore. It’s too ‘high priced’ for us.” says Joe I.

Bobby and Caroline try to dance like good-looking Black people behind an old BMW. Caroline flings her long hair around and Bobby dips around a lot showing off the flexibility of his Boomer jeans.

“Do you two realize that…you’re cousins?” asks Lacey, with genuine concern.

Caroline completely ignores her. Bobby feels threatened so he starts dancing more manically.

“You’re cousins!!” yells Lacey.

Caroline gives her a look like, “Who cares!?”

“It’s just a song?” says Lacey.

They both momentarily pause and look at her.

“Isn’t that weird!??” says Lacey.

They both look slightly awkward and embarrassed.

“You didn’t realize that!?!” yells Lacey.

Caroline stands and stares at the ground awkwardly. Bobby laughs.

“What!? It’s just a dance.” he says, laughing.

“They don’t know, Bobby.” says Caroline to Bobby.

“Know what!??” yells Lacey.

“We’re IN LOVE!” yells Caroline.

Bobby looks at Lacey defiantly.

(Adult content below)

“But you’re cousins.” says Lacey.

“Yeah.

But…she’s the daughter of the crown prince.” explains Bobby on truth serum. “And I’m trying to ascend to the throne.”

“So you’re in love so he can ascend to the throne?” says Lacey.

“Yes! She’s not that pretty. But…I mean…her hair. And…she’s got moves. And…I think we’re supposed to be secretly in love.” says Bobby, yawning.

“Yeah.

He doesn’t ever love anyone.

But he’s always secretly loved me.” says Caroline, also on truth serum.

“Yeah. My love is…much coveted.” says Bobby, proudly.

“Yeah. And your fidelity is worth even more.” says Caroline.

“Yeah. It’s like…winning the game.” says Bobby.

“But I have the sword of the crown prince. So…” says Caroline.

“Yeah. It’s just…not something I can give people. But…for the family title…I can totally fall in love.” says Bobby.

“Yeah.” says Caroline.

“How long have you two known this!?” says Lacey.

“Since we were about eight or nine.” says Caroline.

“Yeah.

I’ve had it in the back of my mind my whole life.” says Bobby.

“Yeah. And I married someone better than him to…rub…his face…in shit.” says Caroline.

“Yeah. I vomited at their wedding in jealousy and self-hatred.” says Bobby.

“Yeah. He’s a jealous little bitch. That’s why David committed suicide. Because Bobby was loved by Ethel and he wasn’t.” says Caroline.

“Yeah. But I’m always flashing my dick at Ethel. So she’s not going anywhere.” says Bobby.

“Nah. See…I take issue with that!” yells Caroline.

“What!?? You gotta keep a hoe on board with the dick.” says Bobby.

“Whatever. You do you.

But…I gotta have your soul.” says Caroline.

Bobby stares at her. They glare at each other very seriously.

What’s Beef by Biggie plays.

“I think you two are batshit crazy confused.” says Lacey to Bobby and Caroline.

“I didn’t actually know you were an idiot. But now I do.” says Bobby to Lacey.

“No. He’s right.” says Caroline. “In Ancient Egypt they married siblings.

“Yeah! Shows what you know!?” says Bobby.

“I’m sorry Caroline couldn’t talk earlier with Kate!!” profusely apologizes Kate’s secretary.

“Whatever. It’s okay, sweetie!” says Caroline, rolling her eyes.

Can we get back to talking about Lacey?

“Why?” asks Caroline. “Why!? Why!?? I’m in love with you, Lem!!!”

“So am I.” says Ethel.

“So am I!” says Bobby.

“So am I!!” says another Kennedy cousin.

They all glare and show their enormous teeth behind their very thin lips, under their evil witchy noses.

Please leave me alone.

Caroline nods. Laughs. And goes off to masturbate to thoughts of Lem.

“Ha! I’m on it!” says Bobby going off to join her.

“That’s…weird.” says a reader.

“What!? It’s an Illuminati practice. It keeps him in our midst. Via Satan. And…it’s sexy…as…Hell.” says Bobby.

Warning by Biggie plays.

“But it’s weird.” protests Donald Trump.

“Whatever! Most living Kennedys have masturbated to thoughts of Lem at least a handful of times. It’s a thing! Chill!” says Joe I.

“We know. But…it’s…evil. And I highly suspect he’s not really in your midst.” says Donald Trump.

“No!!! NO!!!! Lem was a good man.

Lem was a real good man.

I know he’s here!!!” says Kerry.

“Yeah! I can feel him!!!” says Bobby.

“I can too!” says Caroline.

“We couldn’t kill all of them.” says J. Edgar Hoover.

“Why not?” asks Al Capone.

“There were so many of them.” says Hoover.

“Yeah. But…it’s still possible.” says Al Capone, confused.

Eric Harris…doesn’t get it either. “Yeah. You could have gunned them all down. In a…terrorist attack in the early 1960’s. A terrorist group not affiliated with anyone.”

“BRILLIANT!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. Read them their last rites. Then go at it.” says Eric Harris. “It’s too late now. But it would have worked.”

The Rite of Spring plays.

“Eric. Do you talk to Lacey?” asks Lem.

Eric looks at him. “Yes.”

“Who else has ever managed to talk to her?” asks Lem.

“Me.” says Ernest Hemingway.

“Lem the Kennedys are repulsive people. Idiotic. Conceited. Gross. …It’s very difficult to see why you had anything to do with them.” says Eric Harris. “Jack, Kick, lots of evil Kennedys have talked to her. I’m not your problem even if we’re not friends. And they’ve only used it to harm her. Out of spite over you and her being old money and ‘better than them.’ …Who else? Tsar Putin has. Her kids have. The Romanovs have. …Queen Elizabeth II actually did too, even if she doesn’t know it. Stravinsky has. Coco Chanel has. Emperor Constantine has. …You heard her and so did Scott. But…you can’t talk to her anymore easily because Jack insists you’re in love with him.”

“Eric. Why did you shoot us?” asks one of his dead classmates.

“Because I believed it was the end of the world and that you all were evil. The idea was to cleanse the Earth. Or start a purge process.” says Eric.

The Wise Elder plays.

Then…you were insane.

“Yes. But…now what?” asks Eric.

“I’ve never talked to her??” asks Lem, weeping.

“The Sacrifice” Introduction plays.

“No.” says Eric. “I’m sorry, Lem.”

“I hate her!!!!” yells JFK from Hell.

“Why!?” asks Satan.

“Because she’s got MY LEM!!” yells Jack.

“Who?” asks Eric Harris.

Jack looks at the part of Lacey that’s not subterfuge. He doesn’t know her really. “Well. That lady. I guess that’s Lacey.”

“Yeah! That’s her.

But she’s got it all wrong. She’s the bad guy!” says JFK.

“Jack. Was…Lem…straight?” asks a living gay man.

“I’ve already told you yes. …He was extremely straight. He was always sad that he didn’t have a girlfriend but he always insisted he was gay. And I didn’t want to fight him on it too much. He was MINE!!” yells JFK.

“So you mercilessly ruined his life.” says a living gay man.

“No!! It’s me!!!

I’m JFK! Eric talked to me before the shooting. I told him to go to Hell. And it hurt his little boy stupid feelings. The cunt.

…Look. Lem wasn’t like Eric. No. He was like Lacey. BUT A MAN.” says JFK.

“Why didn’t you ever try to suck his cock?” says Eric.

Jack thinks. “Because he would have killed me.”

“Then why try to get him to suck yours?” asks Eric.

“Because I was horny. And…I thought it meant something special.” says JFK.

“SOMETHING SPECIAL!?” scoffs Louis.

“Did I write a book about you and Dylan?” asks David Pitts.

“ do you want me to be honest with you? Yes, I know you weren’t expecting that answer where you are more than Jack in Latin. I might’ve been very slightly bisexual, and Dylan might’ve been very slightly bisexual to we were mostly straight, but he might’ve been very slightly bisexual, and accidentally have had something together, but it was not really a romance. It was more than just friendship. We really were gorgeous friends, but the intimacy and the closeness that you describe between Jack and lamb, which really is just a misinterpretation of what happened from your own gay pride like projected lens not an objective opinion either is actually more like what what would Dylan and I had we weren’t in love but there was something happening between us and it wasn’t. It wasn’t that we were in love it’s that we had this intimacy that was off the charts and kind of bizarre for a platonic. You know a friendship, but it wasn’t actually romantic love but what we had is what an actual intimacy the way you describe it in your book looks like edit it wasn’t one-sided. It wasn’t bizarre and freakish like with all that lemon Jack had with lemon Jack had was nuts that wasn’t what you described. it was Jack being bisexual and more gay really then bisexual and it was Eric being a or not I’m sorry it was a Lem’s being surprisingly straight. I know it sounds absolutely unbelievable but he really was capable of faking it that well and you can tell. I’m sorry I don’t know how many times we have to repeat this but that’s where Lacey needs to sit tight because it started exasperate her how often she hast to write this on her block you people don’t seem to get it he impersonated gave her sent if you actually look at his pictures David instead of just masturbating to them like a fucking freak like the Kennedys, you can tell that he was straight in at least a few of his pictures but I don’t know what the hell you’re doing picking your nose I mean good God why has no one fucking realize that we’ve been bamboozled by the Kennedys it’s so fucking obvious in some of his pictures that he was straight.

Him and it’s kind of obvious in some of my pictures frankly and you and Dylan’s that we weren’t completely 100% straight. I mean we were straighten up or we could both be in the girls and it was real and I could’ve got married and you could’ve to him and frankly we probably Would’ve been pretty happy him but we were insane and no we were not 100% straight. I mean it’s kind of obvious. I think you’re misunderstanding. They spent a lot of time together at Choate and supposedly lame did some thing that saved Jack’s life but I don’t think you’re understanding or respecting the context. Lamb was trying to be a good person. He was trying to be a good friend, they were both bullied. They were both read rejects to some degree I mean Lem’s was a scholarship kid he had asthma he was acting gay even though he wasn’t he was a lot like Skippy Jack was obnoxious and gross and annoying to people and gay and reality enough so that it was noticeable, especially when you caught him off guard, he would do things that just seemed queer, not charming and lacking in self you know, consciousness like Jackie described him, but like queer, and sometimes his mannerisms, or the way that he take care of himself quick like his shoes, being untied, and weird moments or the way that he stand. He looks gay very slightly at least and people thought that was kind of annoying Combined with his arrogance and also he was just an annoying person so I think some guys were afraid he would rape them and he did rape Lem. I think some people were afraid he’d rape them to and they didn’t wanna have to mess with them so they thought shit this kid‘s dad is extremely rich and I’m afraid he’s gonna use that money to try to fuck me in the ass, and so they bullied him in self-defense at least subconsciously would I have shot those people if I got to school with him no I would not have. I’m sorry take that take that however you want to take that no I would not have shot those people I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear but no I wouldn’t have.

OhI was not justified in killing my peers, but I was extraordinarily distraught and I don’t wanna talk about more of it right now am I sorry I am sorry for what I did wrong. I’m sorry that I kill people who didn’t deserve to die. I’m sorry that I murdered people who were innocent and happy, I am not sorry for what I was actually upset about. I’m not sorry about the fact that I was pissed off at people who are in charge who don’t give a fuck about anything other than some meaningless, petty trivial drama, like some people who I will not discuss at this point but I am really, don’t want to talk about that right now I am incredibly sorry and when people have talk to me, I have apologized as best as I can but that’s not some thing for right now.

I pointers yes, Jack, from what I understood and out of your patience to listen to it. I’m sorry Jack was obsessed with him not the other way around and he made it seem like Linn was obsessed with him maybe to lambs family certainly to let him certainly to a lot of people, but he made it seem like it was the other way around because it made him feel good about himself, love was good looking and he was smart and he was sweet and it just made him it made. Jack feel really special to think that lamb could be in love with him for real but he took it too far. I mean he is Bates in psycho he’s nuts he really is, what happened was that he manipulated the situation to make it seem like Lamb was in love with him, and then he just kind of kept them on retainer, but this is where it’s sad and sick at the same time he managed to fool them into thinking that they were in a relationship That was meaningful not do you know in the way that post people would consider today for some thing to be meaningful but you have to understand this is a time when people had marriages that were dead. This is before divorce was common, so Lem felt like he was in a sexless loveless marriage in reality. I don’t think he actually thought that because he was naïve and innocent and he didn’t understand what he was doing to himself, he was very vulnerable. I don’t think anyone really protected him even if people tried I don’t think anyone really ever succeeded and so he got totally fucked up. He thought that he was gay when he wasn’t and then he didn’t wanna talk about it probably at all with his family I would imagine other than his dad before his dad died, seemingly Because he was so ashamed of himself, and then he just kept kind of going with it and Jack just fed into that after they met when they were very young. It was about you’re to after he was molested, and he had been experimenting, possibly seemingly with some guys you know Kind of trying to figure out if he really, Innoway probably liked it or what it even was him and I’m sure he had some doubts before he met Jack him because his experiments didn’t actually go that well nothing he did was particularly successful. They got caught. It wasn’t successful,

I mean to be honest, they probably got caught because Linn was straight and it wasn’t an authentic gay experience and then sometimes you can get caught for other reasons, but I have a feeling his case it was because he wasn’t really thinking like someone who is actually attracted and in love, he was thinking like someone who was experimenting and so he wasn’t thinking through the logistics of it in the right way it was more like I’ll meet you behind you know the gate at four and will play with each other’s dicks or something because you know he wasn’t really invested.

I am Jack was the sexual instigator obviously, but why would like to bring this conversation now is in discussion of Jack’s psychosis I mean essentially OK so when you have intimacy with someone whether it’s romantic or bizarrely close to being romantic, you feel this sort of a union with them, and It’s when you’re really in love or when you’re really close to someone it’s pretty impossible to break that arm cheating is interesting discussion I know what what is cheating but no Jack was a serial philanderer and what they had was not intimacy it’s absurd that people have thought that it was I’m sorry, but it pisses me off to to be honest just on an intellectual level. It’s absolutely disgusting. It’s also disgusting to me that no one‘s really ever pride into the sexual. You know psychological damage between Eric and I, so yes David, you did write a book about me and and Eric are me and Dylan rather but never mind those pictures could’ve been Eric and I far more accurately the way you represent them. It’s like they were in love on the cover they weren’t live in those pictures if they have been Dylan and no Dylan and I yeah then we would’ve been in love But that’s not the book you wrote you wrote a piece of fucking shit.

Are you should be embarrassed I’m just telling you that you should be fucking embarrassed

I thing is Jack to like that even though he fucked you know 30 people every two months or something and had to do you know seven permanent girlfriends and two permanent boyfriends not including Lem’s. Yeah, you didn’t write that in your novel but no, he wasn’t happy right and he had an obsession with that he did. He had a sick fucking obsession with One, it wasn’t mutual when was trying to be a good husband Jack was obsessed with lamb I mean he’s the one that gave him the room in the White House you do know that right Jack was the president not luck how you’ve ever realize that how do you, David it was Jack who gave Lem’s the room in the White House not left. One was never president. David Jack was president and he gave love the room in the White House, I think that probably means Jack was not straight you know that’s complicated shit isn’t it because it involves thinking and actually analyzing peoples real actual psychology David.

I’m sorry for being too harsh with you. I am Eric Harris. I did shoot people you should’ve expected that ha that was a joke lighten up, right?

So no, he he he he he gave him a room in the White House and up. He was not he was not. He was not straight Jack Jack was not straight leg was straight. Jack was not straight Jack arm Jack was yeah I kind of wonder if professional does actually about Eric and his excuse me Dylan and I as well, people have interesting subconscious his subconscious is anyway, so no a jack was not straight lamb was intriguingly enough and he got it from the White House cause he was a good good good husband I am saying that like he was a dog very well trained beaten dog it wasn’t really Stockholm syndrome, though with them, it was more that he was scared shitless, and he thought he was gay so he thought he had a friend. He was scared shitless and he thought he was gay scared shitless part is fascinating because what does that even mean? I don’t think he processed through a lot of his feelings. I don’t think he analyze the situation. I think he just thought. Oh, I’m gay. Oh, this guy is my friend and we will just leave it at that good enough whatever I mean a lot of men are like that when they get married to people, they don’t really overly analyze it. It’s just I met her in kite in high school or I met her in college. You know I’m not gonna spend 10 years searching the world for a wife she’s just right there. Good enough other people have some thing deeper but after a lot of men, it’s really just what’s right in front of them that women can be like that too, but I think, I think four for lamb. It was pretty shallow in that way he described. Jack is an average boy that’s not a compliment from that people made it out to be one. I don’t think it actually could be and I don’t know how it really ever could be. Oh yeah, my lovers just average I mean he’s not special.

Oh nothing is right at wow OK so this is hard to talk about because it’s really actually very fascinating and it’s not what you wrote about unfortunately because it’s too edgy isn’t it it’s too edgy too scary but in reality pumpkin jack was obsessed with what and so he had this tendency to sort of believe things that weren’t real. So he put up a lot of stuff like he you know he he took the trip to Europe. He was the one having his cock sucked. He was the one who found lap at the end of World War II and he was the one who usually was actually being sexual in photographs with lamb lamb really never was he would sometimes reciprocate out of fear and guilt And a sense of propriety thinking he was a good gay man, but it’s never as sexual as what Jackie is doing to him now Jack is crossing his fingers not just laying them on top of him. Jack is pushing them up against the wall or up against a door, or throwing his arm around him there’s always in a way that sexual, it’s it’s always Jack being sexual even though people have it totally backyard which is so asinine and that’s why I shot people to some degree is shit like that that I noticed it up and it was no way to bothered me. This bothers Lacey but there are other things in the music industry and a lot of other places a bothered me about people and I thought why does everyone keep lying about stuff?

So did Jack had this delusional view that it was that lame was actually the one obsessed with him that lame was the one who was obsessed that or that that he wasn’t the one that it was it was obsessed that lamb was the one who is obsessed with him? That long was love with him that Linn was the one. He was gay that he was the straight guy was trying desperately to be you know normal and I was just obsessed with him. No I mean he’d make lamb saying he’d make lamb dance for him he did that all of his male friends, who he was trying to have sexual relationships with but no, he was a horrible person but no he him he really was. I’m sorry, but no he he was when was streets and he didn’t want to think that right so he believed that there was something special between them and I kind of got him to say that possibly but no, he thought there was something really special between them.

I so it was delusional because he was the one that was very sexually instigating stuff he was having his cock sucked not lime and he was always the one that was instigating anal sex. They tried kissing once lime, didn’t like it Jack thought it was kind of awkward because Linn was not into it, and he’s been trying to keep Lacey alive from pissing ever cents. He’s obsessed with keeping them from kissing each other. I watched it sick anyway but no they had a horrible time kissing and Jack was always the instigator, even though he does have a backwards and pretend like he was the one being pursued, and that long was obsessed obsessed with him and his family bought into it. His family promoted the story and there’s some cooperating evidence to suggest that lamb was the one he was obsessed but if you look deeper, you realize that Jack was the one pulling the strings and the Jack was actually the one sort of making it look like that so long would come visit him, right but then behind the scenes was on recorded is a jack would harass him daily about doing that. I am manipulate him and con him into it, so it looks like Linn was obsessed with him behind the scenes Jack was really the obsessive freak. I know he was very clever about it. He might not have done it in front of people or if he did, he would use that too as leverage to get you know empathy from people and control the situation over other people’s subconscious and over there your empathy and who they cared for but no, he manipulated the situation obsessively and still tries to from the grave to make it so that it’s it seems like a lot and is upset with him and the fact that we believe that bullshit story so fervently that David wrote a book about it is proof that Jack was actually very good at lying and very good at manipulating extraordinarily good at it his family helps, but doesn’t he know that’s part of the reason why but but we believe that because Jack was such a fucking good liar, I was a good actor, but Jack was a very good liar when he really put his mind to it and his family was like that they’re disgusting people and you can catch them, but it’s very easy to believe their life and it amazes me that God has let them get away with some of the things that he’s let them get away with, but I know God has exclamations and Lacey knows that but it’s hard to see that at times because they’re so fucking good at lying and no good people exist. Lacey is one of them a lot of other people have been to I wish I had been a better person. I wasn’t but good people do exist. They really do they really do it was why I was pissed off at least in part because people doing those two are good good is real love is real but people apparently don’t know that anymore. I don’t know but good is real and evil is real well and yeah I’m sorry the jack wasn’t evil person. It’s perverse and disgusting what he did.

Him they got an enormous amount of power, and they had a very hard time letting go of it even though they’re basically all bankrupt at this point.

I know the singers know Jack had a delusional view, but it was lemon love with him. That one was the one who is obsessed that Lem was the one who was obsessed you know pursuing him obsessively. And he couldn’t let go that he still seems to struggle letting go of that so he demonize Lacey even though it’s illogical and bizarre because he doesn’t really demonize her so much is the persona people have created of her that he helps them create. Because people don’t really talk to her. I have talk to her. I found her very attractive actually but she’s with one and I might have some on myself but she’s a very deep person but no it’s not. It’s not what he seems to think it is but he can’t let go of the delusion. It’s kind of bizarre. It’s Tami. It’s so sick because he’s not really actually even bad in love with them, it’s it’s like why is he so obsessed with him to be honest I think it has something to do with a perverse obsession with Lacey that he doesn’t really want to deal with and a perverse obsession with a lot of things that he doesn’t wanna deal with? I don’t think he’s capable of coping with what his problems really are, I mean they’re very attractive but I don’t think he’s there. I don’t think it’s just that he’s attracted to them. I think it’s something kind of creepier than that but even if it’s that it’s it’s an ego thing for him possibly where it’s like he just he wants the thing someone else has that he can’t have and he has it in his head that if he doesn’t get it, it says some thing about him that is just unbelievably awful that he’s like worthless and stupid and evil or something in a way that he actually isn’t And people of tried to reason with him and tell him that that it’s insane that there are other men who are gay who he could be with at least temporarily in purgatory, but he’s not interested and some of those men if if they were straight least you would even date, if if he was with them She would she’s not the problem he he just can’t let go he can’t let go of them because he has some perversely idiotic idea in his head that he hast to have what someone else has. Is it personal against Lacey? No I don’t know that it is that’s probably reason why it’s so insane because I don’t think it’s personal against her. I don’t even know if it’s personal about Lem’s it’s it’s just that in a weird way. It’s like that was no weird way. It’s almost like that’s just a coincidence it’s like that’s just to be found Lemons who showed up and so he’s know if suspect lime because that’s like the first thing he saw that made him obsessed and so it’s just an undying obsession now because he’s place some absurd idiotic. Totally insanely stupid you know importance on the whole thing.

And then sometimes things like that mean something to people, but in Jack’s case it doesn’t in Jack’s case it’s unfortunately seemingly not explainable it’s just a sad sick coincidence.

So high, so no it’s it’s sad it really is. It’s very sad but he is he’s not he’s not available right now. You know if your comment I’m sorry but I know he’s he’s got he’s he’s got an idea in his head that when he fucks people, and they gave a shit that it was there a problem, but that that when he when he got lame to suck his penis that that was really deep and meaningful.

No, and it wasn’t I mean it was just lame, giving him head, and then wasn’t lame wasn’t even attracted to him, and it was really just like a sexual service that was offered which should not have been offered, but that was offered because Lem’s thought he was being honorable being in this gay relationship with the first guy that you ever had any real serious sexual contact Smith I mean yeah I think he fiddled around with people But but with Jack, it was different. Somehow I don’t know what they did, but it was different. I think there was something about some sort of ritualistic nature of it, that Lamb had concocted in his head, where it was like they crossed a certain threshold of intimacy that Lemonhead thought meant some thing And I guess that was that was that was lambs you know losing virginity moments and so he thought this is in his mind at 15 when he thought he was gay so so he thought Yep this is the love of my life even if they’re not really in love, I think he thought this is it. This is where I pull the trigger and we get married, but not like you know married because they were gay but like is married, they could be him and so he committed to him, you know, and, they got into a very serious relationship right I mean not really, but I think to let him it was a serious relationship so that part was true although that part jack actually probably because Jack’s a fucking you know malignant narcissist, that part, jack probably actually lied about that part Jack was probably Just totally dishonest about. It was just like I don’t care you know I’ll have other boyfriends try and stop you because you know you have a real intimate. You know connection with Jack and he gets upset you know he might allow for some of it, but he starts to feel a little imposed upon if you get too serious with him like Jackie or even possibly red face You know you don’t ask Jack for commitment because eventually he’ll bite you in the ass that’s how all of those Kennedy men were for the most part so I mean Bobby might’ve been a little less insane but Joe was like that Jack is I was like that does sound great. Ted was probably like that they were all totally fucked up because their father was like that too, and he raise them to be like that to be totally fucked up completely in capable of having an intimate Relationship, that was you know meaningful and long-term and real it it was like you start giving out you start letting people get out actually have a committed relationship with you and the whole fucking real boy and so you’ve got a screw them over somehow before you got too close, I mean it’s just bizarre but they have this intense hatred for like committed monogamous relationships and so no people who actually try to have a relationship with are the Kennedys Jack included in any way. No, I mean they got fucked over and slammed into it when he tried to actually have some sort of you know commitment to Jack even in his own confused fucked up straight person gone insane way him, but you know in the way that he wasn’t actually attracted to Jack you know an actual sexual, romantic intimacy. Jack just imagined the entire thing, so he imagined that lambs pretentious fighting was sincere and profoundly heartfelt and people believe him people believe him they also for some reason didn’t see through it themselves, which is really weird to me, but they didn’t as much as they should have ended and I don’t know what part of it I’m sure, too is that Jack insisted that they not see through it And he also probably you know really fervently believed it himself to the point where it became believable so it’s like oh no lambs madly in love with me he’s so fucked up he’s obsessed with me, but he really wasn’t that people took it really seriously and it was just dumb as hell. I mean really in all honesty Lem’s might have killed him. I’m sorry it’s possible that lame actually helped assassinate JFK, Jack refuses to believe that potentially and his family would never consider that in 1 million years they would think Jackie might’ve done it but they would never consider that lame was actually the one that did it or had anything to do with it. Oh that line was lying to them for the rest of his life, and that he was suicidal because he helped kill the president know that they never never could consider that they just they cannot cognitively seem to have met as fucked up as they are headed to the detriment, but no, they don’t seem capable of understanding that’s possible and reality.

If it’s true, or even if it could’ve been true, yeah maybe Linn would have killed him, but maybe at times one wanted to even if he didn’t because Jack actually made him that angry, especially if I was straight and he was so if he actually was that angry even if he didn’t really want to kill Jack or even actually kill Jack Yeah baby I mean it’s it’s problematic because Jack did not live in that and we don’t either thanks to the Kennedys but that is reality. I’m sorry that’s reality. The reality is that he actually really wasn’t attracted to Jack Jack was the one who is obsessed and if you wanna try to explain to me otherwise you can do that, but I have a hell of a lot of evidence to suggest that it was actually Jackie was convinced that Linn was in love with him and it was actually Jack who is in love with what he doesn’t love, but he definitely had a sexual sick obsession with him. I mean Jack was the one with tensions not let him in photographs Jack was the one who had his arm around Lem’s not the other way around and said that she’s fat you try to make it something that it’s not, but I don’t see the evidence. Yeah, you think love harbored feelings for the fridge for Jack, based on what your other love letter is that lumberjack, that really even mean anything if they even exist what was written that was sincere, what was said that was sincere, because all I see is that Jackie is obsessed with him. I don’t see any actual real evidence that it was mutual. Much less that line was the one doing it.

No, the picture with a with a hole in the dog room looks like he could be ready to vomit and you can say oh no he’s thinking dirty thoughts Jack looks like he’s thinking dirty thoughts about Lem’s and roll I know the dog too. And actually, I don’t see any evidence to suggest that loan was thinking anything at all loves her and you can debate me on this, but it’s pretty pathetic.

Play no lame was repulsed by Jack and that’s because I’m a straight if phlegm hadn’t been straight and reality I don’t know what he would’ve thought about Jack he might have thought he was attractive he might not have, but that’s not what happened and that’s where things are sad but they’re also sick because you’ve got to understand that Jack does not did not and does not live in reality And that’s where it’s hard because Lacey is Jack’s opposite. A lot of people could be actually him so she experiences things that are absurdly bizarre like she’ll walk into a room and she’ll be thinking about Lyman so I will say I am from Billings Montana just out of the blue and then she’ll be like oh that Hass to be a coincidence and she’ll say because he will keep telling her things are coincidences when they’re not And that she’s crazy when she’s not and so she’ll be like oh OK yeah that’s cool and then they’ll say oh so I have a brother in Billings and just stare at her and she’ll be like OK and then I’ll save my brother called me today and told me that they’re having a snow storm And then the snow storm will be a reference to cocaine and Lacey’s subconscious, and then a ghost who’s trying to torture her or come out and say some thing like let them use cocaine with Jack to have better sex, and they were madly in love, and Lacey will think what the fuck is going on I mean there you know, and then like she’ll walk out of the place and the door will suddenly open on its own and she’ll walk down two stops instead of three when there’s three stops and then someone will drive by her and yell at the window. You look really hot today kind of like Marilyn Monroe seriously it’s and it’s like one consecutive weird thing after another like that And it’s been like that for eight years almost every day but she’s so rational so so normal that and so profoundly scientific and rational and there’s so many things happening that are supernatural like doors, closing and things happening and people falling down the stairs like her ghost, appearing in her living room, that she has too much to analyze, and so there’s sort of a backlog of things to sort of scientifically investigate in her head And it’s impossible for her to process at all fast enough to realize that there’s something happening, but Jack was the exact opposite. He would make things happen with them and then pretend other people like it was the opposite and then they believe him because partially because Linn was the one acting gay and and Jack wasn’t and people seem to think that the way you act when it comes to his sexuality is the gold standard so you could act straight and that’s means you’re straight And you can act gay and that means you’re gay. You would never act gay unless if you were gay, and if you act straight, convincing me enough and you get enough people to believe you people kind of think you’re probably straight even if you’re not, but the reality is that you’re probably bisexual or you’re straight a gay but if you’re doing too many things that are straight, like sleeping with women and enjoying yourself, you’re at all, you’re probably bisexual or pansexual or something but that’s not a heterosexual thing to do to still be attracted to men I’d be sleeping with them and liking that too that’s not heterosexual, but the point is Jack was insane. He really genuinely believed that one. Lamb did sexual acts, but they met something when he did them that they didn’t him because he felt better than other people. He felt what happened to him mattered more than what happened other people to a malignant psychotic degree, and he was not in touch with reality in that way, so he was totally comfortable with starting nuclear wars if it made him feel better about his football Abilities I mean he was that petty where it’s like yeah I’ll start a nuclear war just to feel better about how I played touch football. He was like he was that petty he was that petty of a person that’s not normal by the way, but that that is that is Jack that is the Kennedy presidency and, I’m sorry I don’t know what you want me to say that’s the reality of it so you have a dead man who is extraordinarily angry name from Billings and who is straight and was straight and you have a dead man in hell who was bisexual who you think is straight name JFK Who may or may not exist at times and that’s the reality of it I’m sorry there’s hell not everything is sing song in a musical happy dance the holocaust happened. I shot people in a high school, and I think a lot of people who pretend to be intellectual have yet to realize that, so I’m gonna end up there because I really think Lacey‘s life is sad and that line was taking this whole entire post in a totally different direction today but that people can’t stand him loving her And they also don’t wanna deal with the fact that she exists and so I’m just gonna let it go because she has things to do. This is her weekend and at the end of the day, even if you convince her otherwise he doesn’t alter the fact that One loves her And that she exists and that she’s not Jack she’s herself I know who she is. God knows who she is love knows who she is that’s good enough as far as I’m concerned and it’s sad because I mean I was the school shooter. I am Eric Harris like what the fuck I’m sorry for swearing, but you would not expect me to be the one saying this on a woman’s blog who is so profoundly. I loved as an orphan but but that’s you know if this is real that’s reality sadly enough, and maybe you know in the afterlife you’ll find out that I was insane and evil but there’s a part of me that could be redeemed and you can just say hello sometime if you ever passed me you know I’m purgatory or something if you ever want to if I shoot you already dead, so I think it happened right but jokes on me but it’s it’s sad. It’s just sad because now there’s a part of her that you don’t know him there’s a part of her you don’t understand at all and I think state law is going to have to find a perfume that does actually suit her real personality but I think he’s gonna have to talk to her first.” says Eric Harris.