“Wait I’m Confused” by A Random Woman

I just need to clear a few things up.

So…the evil Illuminati, if it exists, I’d threatening Lacey because they’re insecure pricks?

“Yup!” says Matthew Nesheim.

They’re insecure about your whole family?

“Yup!” says Matthew.

But they only started interacting with Lacey because she’s unusual and somehow found them accidentally?

“Yup.” says Matthew.

But unclear how long they’ve been studying your family?

“Yes!” says Matthew.

But you all are old money. And yet it’s never been more than millions. And the extreme wealth of the oil is why the Illuminati noticed you all?

“Yes!” says Mark Nesheim. “It rather it’s why they’re so insecure.”

So all Lacey has ever done is just explain reality. That she’s old money. And that her family owns billions of Dollars worth of oil.

“Yes!” says Mark.

But she’s never claimed to be worth more than $2 million net outside of the oil?

“Yes!” says the CIA.

But that doesn’t mean she’s not old money. It’s just…low level old money.

“Yes!” says the CIA.

Like…Norwegian silversmiths. And such.

“Yes.” says the CIA. “And the old south. The Seays were at least as wealthy as the Murdaughs.”

Yeah. And that makes sense.

Umm…

Is her family wealthier than the Murdaughs?

“Her family is. The family she legally belongs to and was raised is…and is not.” says Tom Banks.

So…people in the perfume community were just mad at Lacey for confronting them?

“Possibly?” says the CIA.

Yeah. They just didn’t want to be called out.

So she was just sadistically bullied?

“Yes!” says Tucker Carlson.

And they played dumb and acted like she was evil and crazy. And they still do. But…they were actually being really annoying. And they were either all just jealous of her or they’re all totally weird and delusional.

“Yup!” says the CIA.

And then they couldn’t handle that she was like Kathryn…not Annette.

“Yes!” says Lem.

So…Lem was straight?

“Yeah. Seems very likely.” says the CIA.

So…whatever happened was…actually really weird and creepy to him or he was depressing his natural orientation to do it?

“Yes!” says Russia.

So then…it’s all just bullshit? All the attacks of Lacey. Like I hear you all harassing her everyday about Lem. And interrupting them when they’re alone at night. Although that’s gotten slightly better.

“Yes.” says the FBI.

So Lem is Skippy?

“It seems theoretically possible that he was inspired by Lem Billings. And Alex was inspired by JFK.” says the CIA.

Yeah! I can see that.

Huh.

So…why are we being dumbed down? Because it makes so much fucking sense not to assume that gay mannerisms always equate a gay person. Like…that’s street smarts. And given the disagreement on Lem’s orientation and his family’s reservations…it seems creepy. Like…we’re being brainwashed. Totally brainwashed. We’re supposed to assume JFK’s straight mannerisms automatically mean he was heterosexual and that Lem’s homosexual mannerisms meant he was actually homosexual. That’s why Lem was such a psychologically good cover for Jack and his whole family? Yeah. And they might have planned that meeting at Choate between JFK and Lem…or they might have used him. But either way…it’s not what it seems.

“Potentially 100% correct.” says the CIA.

So Lem might have hoped to kill Bobby? With heroin? And he also might have killed JFK? Or worked with the CIA to kill JFK?

“Yes!” says Russia.

Because JFK was…a horrible person. He raped and molested people. And he almost started nuclear war at least once.

“Yes!” says Japan. “Those would likely be the reasons.”

Huh.

So…the evil Illuminati…seriously has caused so many problems in the last eight years because they’re too immature and ignorant and insecure to hold power. If there’s an Illuminati?

“Yes.” says M6.

*laugh* So they’re all like JFK. Which is why we don’t see the truth about Lem. They have the same delusions as JFK.

“Interesting insight.” says the CIA.

Did someone hire David Pitts or did he really just accidentally create a historical piece of shit?

“He may have been hired.

Otherwise…he wrote a badly written…inaccurate historical account.“ says the CIA. “It’s appalling. But there’s nothing we can do about it.”

So he made intellectually shoddy assumptions?

“Yes! Certainly!” says the CIA.

People who have since died…knew Lem was straight. But they the evil Illuminati has chosen to be immature and stupid about it?

Huh.

Because that’s what I’ve observed. You all got progressively more violent towards Lacey and Lem after Mohammed Al Fayed died. Queen Elizabeth II too. And probably countless other people. And they knew he was probably straight.

So we’re super gullible. When it comes to stuff like Lem Billings. And the old money aesthetic.

So Far by Cults plays.

And…Matthew Nesheim committed suicide. And…so…if there’s an Illuminati…you all are…shockingly foolish.

“Yeah.” says Russia.

What goes through your minds?

Like when you see the evidence that there’s fact backing up Lacey’s assertions about the oil and Lem?

“They’re…new money. And they’re…inexperienced. So they assumed that if they didn’t attack her…it would make them look weak. Also…they were very narcissistically offended. So they weren’t operating rationally.” says Tsar Putin.

But people are literally dying. And there’s like…serious, intense international issues…caused by their insistence on being…stronger. Like…they’re weak as shit. They aren’t old money and they aren’t oil. They might never be. So…why not just get over it? I don’t get the sense that the Nesheims give a shit.

“They don’t. They’re very chill.” says the CIA.

Yeah. No. She’s offensive for a reason. You can’t ignore that. That’s lying.

We’ve Got It by Cults plays.

Actually…people attacking her for standing up for herself is…so damn creepy. It feels…really creepy. I almost wonder if it’s supernaturally inspired.

But…that’s also part of the problem. The living have been brainwashed into thinking that there’s no supernatural. But there very likely is. So…we could all theoretically be affected somehow. Like…we’re all secretly living in The Shining. We just don’t all know it.

“Brilliantly put!” says the CIA.

Why is Jack obsessed with them?

“Because he’s in shock.” says Lem. “He really is evil. But he also wasn’t expecting to die and find out the truth. He expected to die and be even happier, even though he sinned. Because he didn’t think sin was a problem and he truly lived in a cushioned, narcissistic bubble world. So when he died he went into shock realizing that Lacey was Lacey and I was me. And he was guilty. And he had to actually stop sinning.”

So he barely understood the concept of right versus wrong?

“He had a delusional view of the world. And he didn’t feel accountable for anything. You couldn’t make him be accountable.

I…just have to point out how stupid it all is again.

(Adult content below)

So…he had me…servicing him. Right? But he acted like that was a favor he was doing for me! It’s recorded history. He truly believed he was doing me an enormous favor…by LETTING me service him. And that delusion of his was the premise of most of our relationship. He felt he was being…charitable. Truly. He believed he was bestowing a huge favor on me. …And I don’t think he ever once considered that I wasn’t getting serviced almost at all ever in return. He assumed subconsciously that all my own personal physical sexual needs were being met by servicing him. *Lem laughs* And for some damn reason many gay men have joined him in his absurd delusion. Because they read that I was never given sexual pleasure in return by JFK and it never occurs to them that that’s weird. They never seem to realize that that’s a huge red flag.

Why would anyone be okay with that? It…makes…no…sense.

But I was straight. And that’s the explanation. I didn’t mind that I was only giving oral sex. Frankly I was awful at it. Because I hated it. I was awful at it. …But he didn’t know the difference at first. And when he did…he didn’t want to admit he was gay at all…so he lied and acted like it was better than it was when he really just wanted me to give it to him because he found me attractive. No. He was incredibly patronizing.

His whole family was patronizing to me. Extremely patronizing. They still are.

They tend to act like…you’re never doing them a favor. Even when you are. They’re always the ones bestowing the kindness. The wisdom. The generosity. They have no clue how to be genuinely honest about themselves, apparently.

So…Jack…got years of bad oral sex from me. And I’d vomit and gag and…never ask for anything in return. That was our agreement. But…I…hated being given sexual pleasure by men anyway. I tried to like it. With boyfriends. But it was…not nice. And so…I just decided that wasn’t for me. I was too messed-up. And…I basically never fought Jack on it. At first I’d slightly worried that it was too one-sided. But…being straight it was…not a problem. I didn’t feel a need for it. And obviously that might have helped solidify his delusion.

*Lem and Lacey laugh*

No. I really was like Skippy. …But imagine that Skippy believes he’s gay. And Alex is secretly somewhat gay. And Alex…starts developing feelings for Skippy. But Alex doesn’t want to admit that. So he has a discussion with Skippy and convinces him that he can receive oral sex from Skippy and so long as he never reciprocates…it’s not really gay. He wants oral sex. And since Skippy believes he’s gay…even though he’s not…he thinks it’s okay. He wants friends and Alex seems like a good friend and he believes he and Alex are probably secretly a couple. But he also doesn’t want to upset Alex by bringing up the possible secret relationship so he doesn’t. They just hang-out together and…when Alex gets aroused or is bored or sad or feeling lonely he has Skippy service him. And yes, Skippy is absolutely shit at it. But sometimes, surprisingly or not, Alex doesn’t notice that kind of thing.

It’s a dark version of Family Ties. But…maybe that’s what actually happened.

You know it makes sense. With those characters. Isn’t that something?

How long could those two theoretically go on like that? …If Skippy never realizes that he’s not gay…and no woman comes into his life? And if Alex had less of a conscience? Possibly their whole lives?” says Lem. “It would take some outside force to alter it.”

“Yeah. Because they have kind of a symbiotic bond almost. Skippy has a low sense of self worth and Alex has an exceptionally high sense of self worth.” says Marsie.

“Yeah. And Skippy loves people. And Alex wants to believe he’s that loving too.” says Lem.

“Why didn’t Skippy ever realize he wasn’t gay?” asks Michael J. Fox.

“Yeah.

Well…first you have to remember that at the time it was common to believe that bisexuality didn’t exist. And…that homosexuality was sort of joke anyway. I believed I had a medical condition. I sincerely did. I sincerely believed I had a medical condition called homosexuality.

So…I found women attractive. I knew I found women attractive. But I just couldn’t partake, so to speak. Because I was deformed. I believed it would be inappropriate to do that to a woman. And I had a sense of honor. So I didn’t want to harm a woman…by being with her. And…at times I wished I could be with a woman…but…I always thought it was just wrong, given my medical condition…to really pursue it at all or force it. I was very honorable in that way. And I felt I had a gig being Jack’s husband anyway. So… I could date men. But…I couldn’t do that to a woman. Or at least I certainly couldn’t make her…bothered by it at all.

So…I found women attractive. But…I didn’t think…it was odd that I didn’t find men attractive in the same way. Because I assumed that men naturally found women attractive. That was only normal. Everything else was a disease or a deformity. So…naturally I would see women and find them attractive and arousing… But men? No. And that never seemed weird to me. Because women…were women. …To me…homosexuality was just…a deformity. And again, the only reason I thought I was homosexual was because I was molested. So I would…never long for men. I never wanted men. Any men. Ever. I just…thought that if you were physically capable of being physically aroused by a man touching you…that you were gay. I felt I had been perverted by a man or born that way…and become deformed. So…I was never actually aroused by men. I was only confused by being molested. And so I…didn’t worry about my lack of arousal.

Why didn’t I ever realize it was meaningless? The physical effects? *Lem laughs* Because…I was innocent. And I was very scientific. I strongly believed in science. And truth. And those are all good things. But…my father died when I was young and Jack met me shortly after. I barely had time to figure it out safely. And for some reason…it just never occurred to me. The abuse was traumatic. So I didn’t think about it. I just quickly thought about it…as best as I could…and then….lived. As best as I could.

See…that’s the thing. In the late 1970’s with the increase in sexual media in public I was exposed to a lot of sexual content. Especially living in Manhattan. And so I…realized I was straight.

Richter: Constellation 2 (Pt. 5) plays.

Honestly, it’s sad. Isn’t it? But in my last couple of years before death I sat and watched heterosexuals having sex…and I suddenly realized…that there was no way I was gay. With all of the discussion about sex too. …I realized I was straight. And I realized how vulnerable I had been as a teenager even though I was a mature, tall teenager. I realized how…meaningless the physical touch was. But first I had to see real heterosexuality.

Jack…wasn’t…good in bed. He was very selfish with women. Very self-focused. So he…was quick, one-sided and…dull. Dull for the women. The perk was that he was rich. And JFK. And women found him attractive…partially because he fervently believed he was. But…that meant watching him was…while already gross for me to begin with…even less insightful. And I had no other examples. And I didn’t think it was odd that I found women arousing. And I was actually a virgin in reality.

So…it took me…seeing heterosexual sex…right in front of me…to comprehend that that…was what I wanted. *Lem laughs* Sounds very difficult to believe, but that’s what happened. I truly was that…unaware.” says Lem.

What went through your head when you saw straight people having consensual sex?

“I thought they were homosexual at first.” says Lem. *He laughs*

Why?

“Because they were so emotional. Jack had me believing that real heterosexuals didn’t get that emotional during sex. They were…different.

Women were emotional. But men were not. Not really. So…men could have feelings about women but not that much without being homosexual. Super emotional men were often just homosexual, he believed. Or so he said he believed. He believed romance stories were rubbish, or so he said. Men weren’t ever that interested in feelings or that emotional without being ‘light in their loafers.’” says Lem.

“Oh my gosh, isn’t Jack loathsome! Isn’t her portrayal of him here loathsome! Oh my God! I’m riveted by how disgusting he seems, in the way that she depicts him.” says a living Lucy.

“Yeah?” says a reader.

“Except this is all historically backed. There’s nothing ‘she’ is saying that can’t be backed by solid historical evidence…and what pisses me off is that people think she makes stuff like this up. But this isn’t something she made up. This isn’t ‘her depiction’ and I just wanted to point that out.

How absolutely pathetic our analysis of her writing has been for years.” says a living Lucy.

So then what happened?

“I asked another man watching. I said, ‘Is this for normal folks?’ And he said, ‘Yeah!??’ And I felt very stupid but I believed him.

So I watched them and I had a lot of thinking to do. I was shocked.” says Lem.

You thought normal heterosexuality was weird?

“Yes! And I felt…skeptical. But I realized I had been wrong. And…it was both…hopeful and soul crushing. I realized I was…normal. And had just been molested. But then I also realized I had really destroyed my whole life. And I became very suicidal.” says Lem.

So you were Jack Kennedy’s victim and we’ve stupidly romanticized it.