I hate niche perfume on principle. It’s a disgusting, bourgeois, classist concept. It’s good perfume. But it’s so…cruel. Because most people don’t know about it and in many cases it’s expensive.
But some niche houses are more irritating to me than others.
Aerin is sweet. It’s an honorable, lovely, old money brand.
Memo is under an exemption. Why? Because it’s good. It’s just that unique and good. It’s expensive but honestly so. They make no bones about it. *shrug*
Chanel…vintage or otherwise is never niche. It’s CHANEL. Same with good Guerlain.
The only niche houses that really piss me off are as follows:
1. Parfums de Marly
2. Maison Francis Kurkdijian
3. House of Oud
4. Tiziana Terenzi
5. Amouge
6. The Harmonist
7. House of Sillage
Those are bitch, cheap-ass pieces of festering shit. They wreak of ghettos. Jewish ghettos. White ghettos of Europe in the 1800’s with kids dying of accidental heroin overdoses from their fat, overly docile, dumbass moms. Black ghettos where sad, tragic people are dying of crack to feel African again.
Look Francis Kurkdijian himself might be a nice person. But I can’t stand his arrogance. Maison…Kurkdijian!!? KURKDIJIAN?! That’s not French. What a cheap-ass-bitch, disloyal, white-kiss-ass-nigger name.
“Ok fine.” he says.
“Why did you do that!?” asks Lacey.
“I can’t honestly answer that.” he says.
“Yeah. Not honorably?
You aren’t FRENCH. Or do you honestly believe that you are now!? That’s perverse.” says Lacey.
“No. It’s France!” he says.
“Then France doesn’t exist.” says Lacey.
“There are no ethnicities!! That’s a lie. I’m WHITE!!” he shrieks, pouting like a whiny narcissist. “I mean what do you want me to do shoot myself?”
“Why would I want that?” asks Lacey.
“Are you serious!?? You’re a buffoon!!!” he yells with his panties in a twist.
“No. Answer the question. …Why would I want you to kill yourself?” asks Lacey.
“Because you’re a hellish…ugly…whitish…whirls…whorish…butch bitch. Let me put it this way. Let me put it this way!
Jack fucks better than you. And so do I. I’m GOD!!! Have you seen my face?” he says.
“I love your reference to plaid combined with a cotton shirt? Are you making a joke or do you really think you’re God?” says Lacey.
“I’m possibly Muslim.” he says.
“Yeah. So why France?” says Lacey.
“I’m not French.” he admits.
“Yeah. Or France doesn’t exist.
You might be legally French. But you’re not French.” says Lacey.
He smirks and nods. “I get it.
I am…French in a way.”
“Yes! And I thought we understood that.” says Lacey.
“Hey Lem. We’re wondering. Were you trying to be superior? When you acted gay. Be honest.” says a gay Frenchman.
“My people aren’t…humble in evil. I hope. We…have honor. Or I hope we do.” says Francis Kurkdijian. “And honestly…I shouldn’t feel threatened by them. As a person. I am them. So why do I have to be this Frenchman?”
“Yes!!” says Lacey.
He cries.
“Because you have to be!!!!” say his fans.
“Why?” asks Dior. “Is it too complicated?”
“What!?” say his fans.
“Why are you attacking him?” asks Lacey.
“Because he’s white, Lacey.” says Israel.
“He is. But he’s also Black.” says Lacey.
“Perfume is our thing.” says Luca Turin.
“Yes. But it’s also their thing. Or my thing. …It’s a thing.” says Skippy.
“They don’t understand that though.” says Lacey. “Right? Or what?”
“THERE ARE NO THINGS!!” they yell.
“Why?? You don’t have things?” says Tsar Putin.
Enter Joseph Kennedy Junior.
“Hi.” he says, with perverse arrogance.
“Just out of curiosity, did you guys get confused?
I look bisexual or gay maybe pansexual but I don’t look straight. I just don’t. I don’t look straight and if it’s allowed in Heaven then there’s nothing wrong with that…and that’s just how God made me if it’s allowed in Heaven. I’m a unique person it’s not cool?” says Francis Kurkdijian. “And I just-I am confused. When I am engaging with a consensual partner who is presumably male, or possibly female at times it is my business and I do a good job trying to assess the consensual nature of the whole thing…because that’s my job as an adult with a conscience. And I worry that your family doesn’t understand consent as a concept.
Hey, so what we seem to be having to consider is that Lem Billings, Kirk Lemoyne Billings, might not have been homosexual, and may have become very psychologically disturbed and incapable of processing the nature of his relationship with Jack. I-I don’t think he understood as good-natured as he was, which may have confused you…what was going on necessarily.m
You might say ahh…but he did! Well…I’m not convinced that he did. I-I-I would actually suggest that he was in a state of panic and fear and confusion, and ignorance, and was not capable of harnessing, his innate adult intellectual cognitive capabilities to fathom the state of his life or the state of his mind itself, and that your family took advantage of that and obsessively and a consistently raped him over his entire life, so to speak.
And I-I just…I would beg you to consider the following hypothesis.
You knew on some level that you were raping Lem and possibly trying to somehow steal something from God of a profound nature. And so dwelling in your evil, and having a tendency to glorify that part of your choices and behaviors, your persona, your sense of self, your personage, having a tendency to glorify your evil as seen from your own eyes…that you were doing…I think you thought that you were always in control in the situation. I think you thought that you were always in charge, because on a certain level you knew you were ‘the rapists’, ‘the sodomizers.’ And I-I don’t think that was entirely the reality of the situation.
Sorry to bring up reality. I hope- That might be a touchy subject for you right now but I don’t-I don’t-I don’t think that you understood the reality of the situation. I think you may have thought that you were more in charge – again to repeat myself – than you really were.
Oh, and I don’t think you understood that he was a dangerous person for you to be interacting with look if I’m actually Francis Kurkdjian, I’m in the illuminati I became so rich and powerful that they had to inculcate me into their secret society, because I was too dangerous people, but that’s that’s how it works. You become too, you become too powerful and then they have to start finding a way to reach you because you’re too powerful. I don’t know why they haven’t realize that some people could have things that are dangerous for people to have without them, knowing those people so to speak to her family would be an example of that, I think they’ve been threatened by the Nesheims because they’re old buddy and they’re brilliant people and I don’t think that they know how to handle that family but then they tell themselves that there’s no way these people could really be our equals because we wouldn’t have worried about them before the oil and that’s not really hot works But because of your family corrupt in the United States and arguably the entire world people don’t know how to process stuff like this anymore. Her family should have had somebody in the illuminati 1520 years ago or they or they should’ve had some sort of person to contact if her family chose to have state, they should have had somebody sort of like a liaison, a safe, reliable liaison, but that’s not how it was handled because you people made a total fucking joke out of a lot of institutions that were very well established up until the 1960s.
And I think you thought because you had Linn Billings in your house and his Skippy handle men’s brother, so to speak that somehow you really accomplish something but that’s not how things work, and if you had had respect for God, you wouldn’t have been so arrogant women matter children matter reality I’m sorry to say, does matter You were gay on a certain level was it maybe not entirely but you were attracted to men in a way that a straight man cannot be if you use the word, fake it to describe a homosexual in a condescending hateful evil way I would like to say to you you are the fake it, Joe, you are the fake a jack, you people are faggots your family of faggots. You could call your family the failing faggots, but that would be may be a bit too funny or a bit too mean and I’m going to leave it there.”
“I’m just gonna jump in real quick as an Episcopalian homosexual who actually thinks it is in the Bible…that we can be in Heaven Lacey may or may not agree…but I’m not too worried…because even if she’s at lower deity…of some sort, she didn’t write the Bible, or if she did, she’s more of like…a contributing author…than the ultimate author.” says a white gay Episcopalian male.
“That’s true.” says Lacey.
“Whatever. I wish I could get along with you. You snobby, lying-
Ahh…sorry…I have to collect myself.
She’s such a bully!!!
So…so the point is…I’m trying to make is just as someone who thinks that theologically-
There’s a a Muslim staring at me right now and they’re telling me that I’m being dishonest…because I’ve been butchering Lacey‘s life…because I think that it’s possible that Lem wasn’t gay and I will say no that’s not possible. There’s no way that I could be that evil because I’m gay.
No…what- I didn’t- I didn’t say that. I did not just say that!
I can fly my flag at my Episcopalian church. Or my Methodist Church, Lacey, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then go to Hell and die a miserable death outside of the church. It’s my church now. Mmmkay.
And my church has my flag on it…and you can’t come in…even if it means that you’re just sad and I rejected you in a miserable, evil bitch way. It’s still life Lacey. And so…you’re superior to me. But…Lem prefers…that.
CLEARLY.
Why are you so fucking angry? I mean. I’m sorry you can kiss my ass for the God-given words of wisdom later.
It’s my church. I have a Porsche.
Like me? Yeah…ha ha. I took off. I left heterosexuality behind and you know…I’ve never missed it. But some of us at smart and others like you are not. No. I hate heterosexuality. You’re so stupid!!!
Well…because you already.
So…are you gonna kiss Skippy? Where? I bet you don’t fuck. Ever. You don’t fuck.
I. DO!
I have my masters degree! And I use cocaine on the weekends like Lem.
I’m…what’s called sophisticated. So…any how’s…I’m going to see you fail. And I will cheer that on. Because I never liked you anyway.
You’ve always made me feel jealous. You crap human.
And so…I’m going to keep kicking ass and killing it. And the white worthless old assholes who hate…LOVE ME!!!!!!” he ‘fondues her ass for dinner’ is what he wants me to say to describe what he sincerely believes is a LETHAL dressing down of Lacey Banks.
Keen to Cross the Pond 
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