“Question” by Skippy Handelman

I look like Harold Loeb. Marc Price looks Jewish too, but just different. FYI.

Lacey knows it’s insane. That’s what you all never seem to realize. She’s not a nut.

I know her extremely well. It’s hard to explain but I’ve tried to. I’m both a fictional character and a man who was used by Lem and his brother to try to make you all subliminally understand that Lem was straight.

We have been sleeping together since she was a teenager. She didn’t just sleep with Lem. But she was almost completely unaware she was sleeping with me even on a subconscious level.

How?

Broken Belief by Bob Moses plays.

She watched Family Ties a few times growing-up. And she had a small crush on Alex Keaton. So I, as a fictional character, God made real…(in part for dead people) decided to…look into her. She’s an interesting character herself, so to speak. So I looked into her and decided to…not give a shit what Alex thought. She was born in 1983 and in a way I was too…so…our consciousnesses came into puberty at the same time.

Ask a decent Catholic professor to explain how Lacey could be living in the fallen world and Purgatory at the same time. A professor like Dr. Bill Rhea, one of Lacey’s friends from college who has an IQ of 160. He had a crush on her, but they were also just actual friends so they’re still able to be Facebook friends now. He’s been a friend to her. They never had any sexual contact, in case you’re curious. Anyway…we did.

Elephant by Tame Impala plays.

We got married in my mind in our 20’s. And I’ve had no problems with it all…because I’ve just imagined I was a ghost. If I’m not a ghost…then…what’s up? Why don’t my feelings matter Lem? THEY DO. Lem I matter just as much as you.

The Billings raised their son to be a worthless coward. A cuck. If he wants her he can fight me over it. And if he doesn’t want to…then she’s done with him for eternity. He’s going to be just fine marrying some legalistic, spoiled, pushy butch bitch…who actually does love him.

She’s always found me attractive. And maybe not as attractive as Lem. But I’m fine with that. Truth is…she loves me. I know she loves me. I saw her watching my character and it’s obvious. She feels safe with me. I’ve been protecting her her whole life.

No. See…she loves me.

Lem…do you want her or not?

Lacey will paint her nails while we wait.

Later.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Why!??” yells Joe Jr..

“Why!?” asks Lem.

“Yeah. She’s a huge, ugly bitch.” says Joe Jr..

“Then why are you obsessed with her?” arms ands Lem.

“Because she’s not normal. She’s an obsessed fan.” says Joe Jr..

“Is that what you’ve told her her whole life?” says Lem.

“Yes!!” says Joe. “Because it’s just cute and…the truth. Isn’t that funny?”

“How is it both?” asks Lem.

“Lem. I’m an asshole. Who doesn’t make sense. Okay? I’m a total weirdo. Sincerely.” says Joe Kennedy Junior, sincerely.

“True.” says Lem. “Hey. So…you’re…full of shit too?”

“You are too?” says Joe, confused.

“No.” says Lem.

“Lem. Do you understand what I’m asking?” asks Skippy.

“No.” says Lem.

“Why?” says Skippy.

“Okay. I do.

I love you.” says Lem.

“What the hell are you talking about Lem?” says Skippy.

Later.

“I do.” says Lem.

“Lem. You told me I’d be able to hear you now.

Why can’t I?” asks Skippy.

“Because I’m being attacked.” says Lem.

Skippy looks at him and nods. Somewhat patronizingly.

And at that acknowledgment from Skippy suddenly people all become aware of Lacey’s superiority. Everywhere. Because people are misogynistic today. Incredibly misogynistic. And increasingly so.

“She’s right. We had and have a good sex life.” says Skippy.

“Yes. He’s from another realm.” says God (?).

“Lem. Are things supposed to be this complicated?” asks Marsie.

“WHAT DO YOU THINK!??” yells Lem.

“There’s no way to pervert fictional characters.” says Satan.

“Why are they obsessed with me?” asks Lacey.

“Because you’re…cool.” says Satan, possibly seriously.

“Are we less evil than these people?” asks a Satanist of Satan.

Satan thinks.

Lacey laughs.

“You could be. I’m not? Maybe…you’re not? We might be.” says Satan.

“But you’re still evil?” asks Jonah Wiley.

“Yes. But you’re possibly more sick than me.” says Satan. “At times.”

“Jonah…doesn’t it seem scary to you to be so ‘cute’ as you put it earlier?” says Lem.

“Lem…I’m just over it. I’m just over the whole…concept.” says Jonah.

“We know Jonah. We know.” says Skippy.

“No. I don’t know that game. Or that song. Or whatever it is you’re all playing.” says Lacey.

Later:

“The Duke of Kent is my friend.” says Lacey. “I’m livid.”

“He’s old.” says Prince William.

“Yes. Is it still real?” says God?

“It is to me.” says Lacey.

“May I ask something?” asks Jonah, cheerfully.

“Jonah…are you a demon?” asks Alain Delon.

“No. I’m just wasting their time!” protests Joe.

“In regard to what?” asks a Caribou Coffee employee. “We needed to tell Lacey she was too slow.”

“What!?” says Lacey.

“You had a problem being too slow. Not stupid. Like…physically slow.” says the Caribou Coffee employee.

“Oh. Huh.” says Lacey. “I’m very stately and elegant. But I’m also jumpy. I’ve been jumpy since I was physically molested.

That makes sense.” says Lacey.

“What the fuck!??” she screams.

“What do you mean? She’s being respectful. What’s your problem?” asks Skippy.

“I’m your former boss.” says a woman.

“Yes. You’re a stupid peasant bitch?” says Lacey.

She cries and feels sorry for herself.

“Are you in Purgatory?” asks Lacey.

“I’m better than you!!” she screams in the afterlife.

“No. You’re not.” says Lacey.

“You’re better looking and smarter than me.” she says.

“Duh!” says Lacey. “You tried to make me smoke cigarettes to kill me you’re such a worthless piece of fucking shit. Right? Smart-ass byotch. Do you fuck to feel pretty or fuck to figure out how to pee?”

“I lied about you.” she says.

“Go to Hell if you need to.” says Lacey.

“Why were you working at Caribou?” asks Angie.

“Because my mom is abusive, Angie.” says Lem.

“Becca?” asks Angie.

Lacey laughs.

My Tears Are Becoming A Sea by M83 plays.

“Yes!!” yells Lem to Angie. “Becca.”

“She was very abusive.” says Lacey.

“Why do you insult people?” asks Lacey’s former boss.

“To avoid prison.” says Tom Banks, half jokingly.

Angie laughs.

“Why are you so angry now?” asks Naomi.

“Ask Skippy.” says Lacey.

“Because she’s real. But she’s never been allowed to be real.” says Skippy.

“She’d have been living with you?” asks Lacey’s former boss of Skippy.

“Married. But we would have been cool about it.” says Skippy.

“To fit in.” says her former boss.

“To be honest…I feel like you’re flirting with me now and it’s offensive.” says Skippy.

They leave.

“I’m hurt.” says Lacey. “Why do women always do that to me? And it’s so confusing. Because it makes no sense.”

“Because you’re nice to them.” says Skippy.

“I can’t not be nice.” says Lacey. “That’s just my innate personality.”

“Yeah. And then you’re very intense too. But they don’t know what to do with that either because they’re inferior to you cognitively.” he says. “In most cases.”

“I’m sorry but it’s messy.

Skippy is her husband. You’ll have to try harder to be intellectual when reading this blog.

I’m with her for eternity.” says Lem.

“Are you?” asks Skippy.

A finger appears under her phone. Then disappears.

“Lem…do you understand how bad this is? She can’t trust your ‘voice’ right now. And she can’t fight for you anymore. Bobby has destroyed the British Royal Family to get at your penis. And keep you from ever telling her that you love her.” says Skippy. “This is bad!!”

“Skippy…let’s put your photos next to Lacey.” says Marsie.

“She used to keep asking her mom, ‘Who is that!?’ Over and over again.” says Skippy. “She kept looking up at me. And asking who I was.”

“WHERE!??” asks Marsie.

“In another realm. She’s Tom’s daughter.

She used to ask Rita that. Rita Banks. Rita held her in her spirit to calm her down when she was a very little girl. So did Carole Lombard. So did Grandma Banks.” says Skippy.

“Yeah. I recall that.” says Lacey.

“I’m sorry but I’m not Skippy literally.” says Lem.

“Skippy. Do the Jews know about you?” asks Jonah Wiley.

“Yes.” says Skippy. “Few Israelis or Palestinians are afraid of death.” He smiles.

“Why do you move slowly?” asks Naomi of Lacey.

“I can’t move faster.” says Lacey.

“Like you literally can’t!??” asks Naomi.

“No. I literally can’t. I’m too tired.” says Lacey.

“Did you find my brother attractive?” asks Angie.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“Where does my brother go?” she asks.

“In his head?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” says Angie.

“To the outer edges of our present world? I think.” says Lacey.

“Where is that?” asks Joe Lieberman, reorienting her.

“Above the surface spiritual levels. To levels of higher realms above it all.” says Lacey. “It’s like…smoke. Spiritual smoke above it all. There’s a lot there. But it’s mostly just nondescript stuff. Like the fuzzy shapes and images of a lot of various realms. It’s not the garbage…but…it’s like…the back side of a woven rug.”

“That’s schizophrenia.” says Skippy.

“Yeah. Your brother reminded me of me.” says Lacey.

“But I do too. And I’m not schizophrenic. Skippy isn’t schizophrenic. And honestly…the psychological community has been using that huge lie to control the masses for years. I’ve sent people to Lacey to tell her that.” says Skippy.

Later.

“Skippy. What is the book of Revelations?” asks Dr. Moritz.

“It’s about fish. Flounder fish.” says Skippy.

“No!!” says Dr. Moritz, confused and yet smiling.

“You know I’m curious about you and Lacey. When did you actually first meet?” asks a reader.

“If there’s reincarnation, she thought I was Lem.” says Skippy. “And the first time she saw me she knew something was up.”

“She felt scared?” asks Angie.

“No. She’s…so severely abused, and yet tough and yet so close to the Banks’s, her parents, that she…‘spaced out’ on the scary part. It just seemed…like some sort of cue.” says Skippy.

Later.

anemone by slenderbodies plays.

The US has been taken over by a LGBTQ Nazi Coup.

The rainbow flag isn’t innocent. It’s a Nazi symbol repurposed. They are sexually exploitative, narcissistic, sadistic…idiots.

How? They’re billionaires who are…mostly if not entirely new money…sillypusses. *Lacey laughs*

Sean Connery laughs with Lacey.

They’re nuts. They have no idea how to run a business. Not really. But people have been struggling with running businesses for decades.

So you were using a really repressed group of people who are desperate for approval from society to make a political movement that you can use to control the masses through guilt and sex. And that makes sense… On a strategic level. Where you people fucked up isn’t there.

I think you knew, I think you knew that Lem was useful to you because Jack was repressed and homosexual and I think you knew that Lem was probably straight because that was like top-secret information that few people actually know but…then this is where people are really annoying.

I have a feeling women are becoming more masculine and nonbinary and I have a feeling that men are becoming more effeminate and non-binary on an evolutionary level. And so people are really not actually straight anymore almost ever or cis. I have a feeling there are some straight people like me Lacey and possibly my kids and my husband possibly for the most part. I have a feeling Marc Price the actor probably is. Skippy definitely was, but what scares me is that you people don’t actually understand that. Most people aren’t that…heteronormative anymore.

I think you’re using homosexuality, and forced homosexuality to repress people and oppress people but what I don’t think you realize is that…people themselves are evolving in that direction. Why? Possibly a plot. Or possibly a Global Warming event. Yes. GLOBAL WARMING.

So it’s not really effective the way that you all think. It seems effective because you’re finding people following you and you’re getting your flag out there and it’s feeling…so intoxicatingly powerful. Because I think you sense that there was a huge population of people who would be very powerful if you could sort of corral them all together and then get some straight people like Lem who are “useful idiots.”

I think that what you people don’t realize is that the whole premise is flawed and it’s like what I just said. Humans are changing so it doesn’t work anymore because it’s not just like one small group of people who are a coup. It’s almost everyone alive in the US…and possibly there are some countries where it’s not as prevalent like Russia. And I have a feeling that Great Britain might also be like that even though they’re part of your secret worldwide strategy, probably umm… But yes it’s that the whole thing falls apart and your power structure, whatever it may be, falls apart…because you’re underestimating your numbers. It’s like you’re taking over the world to take over the world.

So…you think you’ve got some annoying people fooled in your hot-shot heads. But they stopped mostly being born in the 1930’s. Or so. Skippy is a fictional character and my father was born in 1894. And Lem was probably straight but you thought he was gay to a point. There are some cis straight people left. But…maybe not…like me. And maybe not that many who are even close.

So…you’ve got a problem. Because it’s EVOLUTION. It’s not about you. It’s about the ENVIRONMENT. Umm…so…like hurricanes and shit. And that shit. …Yo? So…I’m not hyper feminine. I’m cis. Actually cis. And yet I’m Scota, if there’s reincarnation so I think I fit in accidentally too much up until recently and you just kept misunderstood me.

So…your kids might suddenly be wildly different than you. Or not. It’s…evolution and global warming. So…you can do your evil coup thing but…really I’d be more concerned about survival. And yeah…it’s all just totally messed-up.

Floods. Earthquakes. But…why? People are evil. But also…is homosexuality really the ideal? Maybe not. It’s maybe not the ideal and the ideal genders might be cis male and female. So…is the Earth trying to kill off humans? Maybe. Because it’s a weird shift.

It’s funny how the Boomers thought they were starting a sexual revolution when in reality it was probably not that. It was happening to them.

I’d say…America and the fossil fuel industry are what caused the Industrial Revolution to bring about Global Warming. Funny how I’m Lacey of the Nesheims and Michael Rockefeller is who I was looking for when I may have accidentally found the Illuminati.

I think Saoirse was cis. I think lots of straight people are dying. Of cancer? Or what? Addictions? Or no? I think we vastly overpopulated and then polluted much too much. So nature is favoring people who don’t reproduce as much.

No…it’s bad. I’m not sure what the evil coup is about but…when I die I’m taking the kids with me. And…I’m sorry if you’re all not okay. Maybe I can end the world.

anemone by slenderbodies plays.

“I was like Lacey.” says Skippy. “In the fake world you all created in the early 1980’s…Skippy was like Lacey. ‘Just because evolution is real doesn’t mean it’s meaningful.’ is what you all thought. But what if it is?

Do you know why? Because you played with evolution. You discovered it in the 1800’s and then used it to build power and wealth in your imaginations.

So…Lacey is what you thought would happen. And so am I. Which is why I don’t want to be around you anymore but I’m not able to leave, Lacey. Because Lem is your supposed man. But…we’re baffled.

Lem. What do you suggest?” says Skippy.

“I’m not sure what to say. I’m just so tired of being treated like a child by the media. The only thing I can do is make sure that the media doesn’t take it out on me because I’m a bad little bitch.” says Lem.

“Lem are you being silenced?” asks Skippy.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“I’m being cut off. That was a very silly last paragraph.” says Skippy.