Hallal

Flow by Crooked Colours plays.

Lacey intended to have a discussion about perfume at this point. But anyway. Oh well.

anemone by slenderbodies plays.

Today we’re in a discussion about what’s Hallal. And what’s…kosher. Why? Because Lem Billings looked like Harold Loeb? Is that it? Why?

If reincarnation exists…maybe both Lacey and Lem weren’t supposed to be here, so to speak.

But it’s too late now.

Last night Lacey got into a fight that was too gruesome. It was over whether Lem was Skippy or Skippy was Lem. And so Lacey took out her iPhone and waved it around the room strategically. And in doing so…she discovered…a makeshift…lightsaber. Possibly.

It might sound stupid to you. But…she’s not sure it is. How do you turn your iPhone into a lightsaber? Well. It’s patented.

Why is it currently patented? Because in the future M. Billings, Lem’s son…patents it in the afterlife. Why!? Because Bobby Kennedy Junior begs him desperately to right now through the Holy Rosary. Why does Bobby beg M. Billings to do so? Because he needs that information kept private to keep running for US President.

The Wild West? No. Iowa. The African jungle? No. A Jewish ‘biological’ dad.

Flow by Crooked Colours plays as the Spencer Family and Scottish Aristocrats explain their glory in Heaven. Possibly whatever part of Egypt is redeemed too.

Why?

Ask God.

What do lightsabers do? Well last night her house was filled with a sort of spiritual smoke. And the smell of burning…flesh.

Why burning flesh? Because Lacey burned Joe. She set him on literal fire. Why? Because he wouldn’t leave her alone. And so in a silk black nightgown Lacey leapt through the air and used her sword to cut Joe Kennedy Junior into pieces, so to speak. And Kick. And a few other ghosts who were enabled by Hell to attack her.

Just as Lacey figured it out…Elisa Lam said, “Oh no! I knew she was going to do this!”

And Lacey…smiled. And went into action. It was very fun for her. Very fun.

Who might have helped her? An alien. Yes. An alien may have showed-up briefly at her door and confirmed that she had figured out a method using her iPhone that they use to fight off ghosts. Then they took off and it was showtime.

Yes. If she’s Scota the Egyptians talked to aliens, should aliens exist. Ancient Aliens may have been partially based on reality. Overly exaggerated…stuff.

And so for Lem’s birthday…after Lacey sent off fire alarms in her house…in their realm…she could hear slightly as a ringing noise…she was finally able to talk to Lem. She’s been harassed sadistically for years. And…it was fun to finally be able to attack them back. It’s not that she enjoyed being sadistically attacked…but rather…the redeemed part of the Dead Kennedys that are Irish…apparently enjoyed the fight too. Because as much as Lacey literally lit Joe Jr.’s private parts on fire…he was slightly laughing about it.

It was clear that Lacey was quite serious. He had to be taken by ambulance to fix his wounds. Or he ‘died.’ Several ghosts did.

Yes. They are being reconstituted and reconjured. But hopefully this will be useful. It was very effective last night. Because she could finally hear him clearly and then she audibly heard a man say, ‘STOP!’ Or something like that. Like he was actually alive. He sounded scared. Then he left, presumably.

No. The lightsabers don’t directly harm anything but ghosts seemingly.

Joe Kennedy Junior has had very serious issues with control and lust.

Yes…the Hazard connection with iPhones is fascinating. First World country issues and stuff. Commercials.

“This is getting too obvious. It’s starting to seem corny.” says Casi.

“Lightsabers. That’s scary. Not corny, completely.” says Lacey.

“True.” says Tucker Carlson.

“Raves are both pure evil and possible holy battle?” suggests Lacey. “Or is that light not hot enough?”

“Yes. I helped her figure it out.” says Matthew Nesheim, Lacey’s second cousin who wrote:

before he recently died of “suicide.”

“So…Casi…this is a lot of information. Do you think we can all handle it? Not everyone can process this all.” says a reader. “Did you decide to tell Lacey to turn up the volume on her uniqueness for your own entertainment? Because you’re bored? I empathize. But come on!” He glares at her. “This is scary!”

“Yeah. You goaded Lacey into accidentally inventing lightsabers to fight ghosts with the help of her elite old money oil family. And their noble genius.” says a reader. “And for all I know this is real.”

They all think.

“Did Matthew commit suicide over the earthquakes in Japan?” says a reader. “Even though they weren’t his fault.”

They think some more.

“I’m not that smart. At times I sound like an idiot. And at times I sound very smart. But…I’m only smart. I’m not that smart.” says Casi. “But I do get bored. And I like drama.”

“Lacey…I’m starting to understand you.

Okay. So you’re a mistaken reject. You aren’t actually a real reject. For any real reason. …But we have you labeled as a reject. And so you’ve owned that. And…you rock it. But…our glory is in Heaven. Mostly. And part of how you’ve rocked it in your life…is by being extremely superior in reality even while ‘everyone’ says you’re a reject.

And it was weird…but you made it work. Until you wrote your perfume blog. And then the perfume community started seeing reality and instead of questioning us and themselves they questioned you. To a psychotic degree.

And then Diego misunderstood.

Or did he?

And why did the American liberals help him?!? Was it good or pure evil? Or a combination at varying moments? It’s completely obnoxiously confusing.

Here’s the thing though. Some of us are actually rejects. And in Heaven we’re going to rock it. That’s our glory. Not your glory…by natural selection…or in native terms.

Lacey…you really don’t understand that you’re not one of us?” asks a female reject.

A Moment Apart by ODESZA plays as rare beauty Lacey discovers fire. Instantly, she recognizes why the boys gave her matches to play with. Lit with adoration for God, in her innate genius and prowess she recognizes the fire. So she does somersaults in the air holding the fire and then throws it, hurling it madly at her enemies. Then lands…like a gymnast on her feet. Then darts backwards and runs. And watches as her enemies burn.

“What’s this!??” they might have screamed in confusion.

Two survive and figure it out. They grin. Cheer. Because it’s not just an attack. It’s a hint.

A hint about what!? MORE GLORY. God loves us. It’s just important to always remember that it’s His glory. And sadly…too many have forgotten that? Is that it? Maybe. God will have to sort it out.

“Except I didn’t invent fire, I don’t think. It’s just a potential lightsaber.” says Lacey. “To fight off ghosts.”

“Yeah. And why do we need it!?” yells Matthew’s father.

“Matthew shouldn’t be dead.” says Lacey.

The song repeats.

“Look…what do you want from me? I’m sorry I mistaken used your thing.” says Lacey Banks. “It was a mistake!”

“But it’s not yours.

Did you realize it at all or not?” says the reject.

“Barely. Barely if at all.” says Lacey.

“What goes through your head?” she asks Lacey.

“Questions.” says Lacey. “And it often has occurred to me if at all when I’m dancing.”

“So…you dance and you’re like, ‘Wait. What the heck!?’” says a Native American woman.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“Dance how?” asks a reader.

Lem laughs. “What are you looking for?”

“Lem…what happened?” asks Elon Musk.

Lem thinks.

“OH MY GOD!!!!” shouts a living gay man. “LEM EXISTS!!” he says, gobsmacked. “NO WAY!!” He’s genuinely nonplussed. And it’s very embarrassing to him but maybe he’s humble enough to handle it? “What the fuck!? Why did we not really know that?”

“Because you’re all men.” says the Native American woman. “That’s…something men might miss in that way about another human.”

“So…she’s not like you. She’s not an average person.

She’s extremely sexy and petite in relation to me and she’s shaped like Marilyn Monroe. But she’s dark and exotic, in a way, as a real white person. Some people are like that in Europe.” starts Lem.

“Getting annoying unless he’s doing more writing today and I don’t know that she should have to so let’s just take a break and regroup and let the asshole narcissists clean their wounds for just a few fucking minutes.” says a man who is Hallal.

Later.

Slipping Away by LEISURE plays for Skippy and his actual wife. A fictional character like him. Not Lacey.

“Why do you keep conjuring Jack’s…conscious idea as a concept to attack Lacey?” asks Louis Hill Jr..

Lacey considers more forbidden foods to defend herself. Like wearing gemstones to ward off the intense spiritual assault that has her practically constantly choking on her own air. It’s not air hunger. They send intense amounts of demonic oppression to attack her. Which is why the lightsaber was necessary. Because then she at least had fewer entities to deal with.

“You’re using me and demons to attack her. But we’re…doing you a huge favor.” says Satan. “You’re using our evil against us, possibly amazingly.”

“Is that smart?” asks a dead man.

“No!! I’m furious.” says Satan. “You think I enjoy being used?”

“That’s why there’s been an uptick in pedophilia to an extraordinary degree. You’re all trying to compensate.” says Satan, indignantly. “That’s not a sin Lacey and Lem would ever indulge in. And some of you know that.”

The Rush by Bob Moses plays. The Queen Mother of Great Britain dances with King George V. And all of dead Great Britain. And dead Canada.

They stomp on evil Americans and crush their possibly worthless-evil skulls like it’s a just a chore. Lacey breaks open Joe Kennedy Junior’s neck and sucks out his blood. Then she spits it out. Lights his body on fire.

And in this silly scenario the Kennedys are both rescued and “incarcerated.“ Maybe they really were just criminals.

“Let’s try that again.” says Lacey coolly to Joe.

And at that Joe Kennedy Junior sings The Rush to God.

“You want God to crush in your skull?” asks Joe Kennedy Senior of his eldest son.

“Kinda!!” yells Joe Kennedy Junior.

“Oh no!!!” yells Charles Darwin.

India looks as bored as Lacey.

“Except I’m concerned.” says Lacey.

Later.

“I need Lem.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, accidentally and unknowingly channeling Joe.

“Why?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“He’s my gay crush.” says Bobby. “He’s HOT.”

“Yeah. But not that hot.” says Michael.

“Okay. Yeah. So what!?” says Bobby.

“Why do you like his gut?” asks Michael.

“It’s gross.” says Bobby.

“Then why do you like it?” asks Michael.

“I don’t have to.” says Bobby.

“Yes. You do.” says Michael. “What do you think of hair loss?”

“Ahh…eww.” says Bobby sincerely.

“No. You have to like it.” says Michael.

“Ha! LIAR!” says Bobby, with stupid fuckboy, haughty arrogance.

“No. This is how it works, Bobby.

You’ve never had that explained to you?” says Michael Rockefeller.

“Is Larry David your father figure friend?” asks Lacey of Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“SHUT-UP!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, seriously and genuinely hurt.

“So…it’s genuinely just…whatever works to you? Huh. What if it doesn’t work?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“Then I win.” says Bobby.

“This isn’t Bobby’s World.” says Lacey.

“That looks more like the actual Bobby than the character.” says a psychic.

“Men didn’t need love and don’t. We are superior.

Men just need sex!!” says Bobby.

“How do men have sex Bobby?” asks Michael.

“They find people attractive.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Okay. So…why don’t Lem’s flaws matter?” asks Michael.

“Because! Men…don’t need sex. In that way.” says Bobby.

“Huh. So you have sex for what reason?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“To be…happy.” says Bobby.

“But you don’t want to find your husband attractive?” asks Michael.

“This is weird. Why are you doing this to me?” says Bobby.

“Bobby. How do…you…have sex…without finding the partner attractive?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“Michael attractiveness doesn’t matter, not about that. No, it’s just about you know…something.” says a Netherlands witch.

“It’s about sex.” says Bobby, indignantly.

“How do you have sex if you don’t find someone attractive?” asks Michael Rockefeller.

“You…masturbate first? You…think of other people. You try to ignore the person you’re with. To love them.” says Bobby. “Sexual attractiveness doesn’t matter in sex. Chemistry is a fraud!”

“Okay. So you could theoretically have sex with mud?” asks Michael.

“No. That’s stupid.” says Bobby.

“Why?” asks Michael.

“Because it is! You’re silly.” says Bobby, nervously.

“So why do you like Lem?” asks Michael.

“Okay…so…he’s hot?” says Bobby, shrugging. “Ahh. Let’s see. …He’s hot.”

“What’s hot about him?” asks Michael.

Later.

“He’s just hot!” says Bobby.

“HOW!??” screams the CIA.

Later.

Bobby awkwardly shifts. “It’s so sad. You don’t under hot men.” says Bobby.

“Bobby. WHY…IS…HE…HOT…TO…YOU?” screams the CIA.

Later.

Lacey does a brilliant and very elegant, deep and sexy strip dance on a pole for only Lem. She’s that edgy. And he’s that straight. To Bob Moses The Rush.

“There is no oh well. This is Hell. You’ve sent Lacey and I to Hell.

Why? Because I can’t that ugly fucker and his leech family off of me, metaphorically and through my Lacey figuratively. And meanwhile Lacey and my kids are alive…in a fallen world.” says Lem.

“Hold on!!!” yells MSNBC. “Lem…do you actually have a similar spiritual DNA to Putin?”

“Yes.” says Lem. “We are similar. I’m taller but our personalities are somewhat similar.”

If You Don’t by ODESZA plays.

“Lacey. What is going on!??” asks a reader.

“It seems like Diego was just upset and offended?” says Lacey. “And then the Kennedys got involved. Because Diego worked for MSNBC secretly. And…of course…it was already quite entangled.”

Enough to Believe by Bob Moses.

“Bobby…why? Why do you think Lem is hot?” asks the CIA.

“Because he dressed well. He was good-looking. It’s just a thing?” says Bobby.

They sigh in exasperation.

“But what was it really specifically?” asks the CIA.

“Oh Bobby. Come on!! Be more specific!” says a psychic, pouting.

He looks wide-eyed like he’s an angel and is confused. “It’s not that big of a deal.” says Bobby.

“He’s sexy!” says a gay man.

“Yeah.

I dunno. It’s not that.” says Bobby. “It’s a guy thing.”

“What is it!?” asks the CIA, pleadingly.

“It’s a crush on my own power.” says Bobby, trying.

“Yeah!! Go on?” says the CIA.

He thinks. “I have a crush on my family’s power. He’s symbolic of that.”

“You have a crush on a symbol?” says the CIA.

“Yes!!

*he looks exasperated now*

Many people have crushes on symbols.

Marilyn Monroe was a sex symbol. Think about it!!!” says Bobby. “You make me think about it? There!!!”

“But then you don’t actually like him?” says an Asian woman.

“So WHAT!?” says Bobby.

“Bobby…that’s weird.” says a younger Asian woman.

He closes his eyes. Sighs. “No. It’s not.

Think about what I’m saying. It’s…common!” says Bobby.

“But it’s your family.” says the younger Asian woman.

“No!! There are lots of symbols.

Success. Madness. Love. It’s deep.” says Bobby.

“But then that has nothing to do with him.” says an Asian man.

Bobby looks sad. Thinks. “I felt like he was who I was supposed to believe. And it hurt when I developed a crush on him…because he knew what happened with Jack. I knew he knew what really happened somehow, regardless. So…okay. It was sad. Right?

But…but he was kinda good-looking. And the US media went on and on about his crush on me in a way eventually. So I eventually went for it in my head. I just tried to like him to feel…adult. Because then…I was like Jack. And even if he was my uncle I saw him as a leader too and a role model.” he says. He thinks. “I think it’s a shallow thing. Huh? …Sad.”

“Yes!” says the older Asian woman.

“They may have done that!” says Bobby excited. “They manipulated my brain…about my family. …It’s been scary being me.”

“Why did they do that?!?” yells Israel.

“Fuck you!” yells Bobby.

“Why did they do that??” asks the CIA.

Bobby glares. “To make me grow-up and become the leader of my generation. And to…cover-up for my obsession with him. Because they’d figure out I was crushing on a man.

I had crushes on other men. But they could hide that. The Democratic Party needed me to be straight.”

“Why…did they decide you were the leader!?” says a Boomer.

“Because they felt I was the best looking and most likely to be politically useful.” says Bobby.

“Yeah.

And we used to talk about stuff like that.” says a woman.

Later.

“Bobby. We gave you the idea you would be a good US President.” says the CIA.

“Yes.” he says. “You are all…the reason…I am running.”

Because You Move Me by Helsloot & Tinlicker plays.

“Bobby. We thank you!!” says the younger Asian woman.

“I thank…life.” says Bobby. “It is my teacher.”

“Bobby. Are you being serious?” asks the Asian woman.

He thinks. “Yes.”

“And yet your family doesn’t think you should in run.” says the older Asian woman.

He glares oddly at her.

“Bobby you look weird. …In your eyes.” says the woman.

He keeps glaring.

“Bobby. Why?” she asks him.

“I’m doing the right thing.” he says.

She smiles.

Later.

“Who in the US told Bobby to run?” asks Lacey.

“The US media.” says Israel.

“So the US media is a part of what?” says Lacey.

“The core group. That runs the country.” says Harold Loeb.

“And how long have they actually been in power?” asks Lacey.

“Since the 1930’s.” says Harold.

“Yeah.

They took over first during the Great Depression. From the Stock Market Crash of 1929.

I wonder if they caused the Stock Market Crash.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. You know…I hate this. Lacey that’s brilliant and I’m in love with you.” says Harold.

“Are they all just Communists? Or quasi Communists.” says Lacey.

“Sorta.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald.

“Right.

And then…Israel is a proxy war. With the Middle East to bring Communism to the Middle East? Or what? Because Israel is obviously an un acknowledged proxy war. And it’s dishonest.

I find it hilarious that the US has given money to Israel for decades. But now it’s being grouped in with money for Ukraine. An open proxy war. We’re actually acknowledging our proxy war in the Middle East now. But by accident.

The question is…what in the world…are we doing in the Middle East?” asks Lacey.

“We’re after…money.” says George Bush.

“No. That’s ludicrous.” says Lacey. “We’re planning for World War III.”

“Land!!” says Anne Applebaum.

“Yes! We might have felt a need to control that region after the lack of a role it had in World War II.” says Lacey. “We felt like the next world war was going to happen there.”

“Yes.” says Iran.

“Wow! This is boring.” says Lacey to Iran.

They glare at her jokingly.

“Tell you what…I don’t think we knew what we were doing.” says Lacey to Iran.

“Yeah. Now what?!?” says Iran.

“The US has to stay as politely but distantly supportive of Israel as possible. But…leaving that aside what actually is happening there?” says Lacey.

“We’re holding on…to the old promises. And keeping going.” says Iran.

“To what purpose?” says Lacey.

“To take over the world.” says the Middle East, honestly.

“Is Bobby listening?” asks a reader.

“No. But he will be hearing about it later.” says the CIA to explain.

“Yeah. Cool.” says Lacey smiling.

They smile and shrug.

“Poor Israel.” says Lacey.

They actually kind of agree.

Lacey smiles.

“Wow! What a mess!” says Lacey.

“Yeah.“ says Israel.

“I feel so bad. I feel so bad for you.” Lacey says to Israel.

“Do you think there’s any way to fix it?“ says Hamas.

“Well what always goes wrong?“ says Lacey.

“We’re demonically oppressed.” says Hamas.

“ yes I wonder if you are slightly but logistically what always starts happening. It was wonder that because I’ve seen things happen on a small scale or on a case by case basis, but I’ve never understood from your perspective what you would say what what goes wrong