“What The Fuck You Guys?” by Bobby Kennedy Junior (Not Really, By A Jewish Writer)

Later.

Can you honestly tell me…that Lem Billings is straight? Really?

Yeah. I doubt it.

He looks so friggin gay!

“But not really Bobby.” says Marsie.

“Have you ever honestly looked at him and thought, ‘He’s gay?’” says Lacey.

“Look at him and tell yourself that honestly.” says a living gay man. “It’s actually very difficult when you look at him and say he’s gay to keep a straight face because it’s so fucking pretentiously gay and there’s a part of him that really actually…makes me think he’s just a weird straight guy. For real.”