Casi and Jack Talk to God

Casi and Jack go with Jack’s Asian mom to go talk with God.

Succession (Main Tittle Theme) plays.

God sits behind His desk. Casi and Jack sit in chairs facing Him.

Let’s see if they can harness their possibly worthless egos enough to respect Him as He deigns to sit behind a desk.

Minuet in B Minor by Nicholas Britell plays.

The problem with “Succession” is that it’s shallow wealth. The Nesheims share trillions. And no one inherits the family business. There is no family business. There’s just trillions in oil they collectively possess privately and solely as a private family. No corporation. It’s sublimely elite. The concept of a paltry, shaky “family business” is weak and peasant-like compared to the Nesheim oil model. There are few families in the world with that much…real power on an Illuminati level. And actually possibly on any fallen human level.

No. The Kennedys are not at all recognized by the Nesheims. The Nesheims are mildly repulsed that you’d bother asking them.

And this is what has been bothering Lacey for years now. The Illuminati never has seemed to understand how they’re ripping apart all of humanity by lying about this reality. There’s no mention of this in the sweeping British sounds of Succesion. And for that reason Lacey can’t stand to watch that series. It’s too genuinely gross.

An American Milk Dynasty….verses EVERYTHING. And no the Nesheims are not the American Milk Dynasty.

“Why is America shitting in its own face with these people?” asks Liberty Mutual.

“Because Diego got his feelings hurt.

Really. That’s all.

And people feel bad for Diego. In the Illuminati. People felt bad because he was never given credit for being Chris Hayes. By MSNBC. So…we tried to be helpful.” says the DNC.

“Why not hold MSNBC accountable?” asks Wall Street.

“You cannot possibly expect us to hold MSNBC accountable?” says the DNC.

“WHY NOT?” asks Wall Street.

“Because! They’re MSNBC!” says the DNC.

“They’ve never discussed this with us.” says MSNBC.

“We wouldn’t do that! Don’t worry!” says the DNC. They laugh.

“Why not!?” whisper yells, the GOP.

“Because…they’re a huge company with enormous real power.” says the DNC.

“Unlike the Nesheim family?” asks Ed Nesheim.

“Do I speak Japanese?! Yes!!” yells the DNC.

“So…you’re cool just letting pandemics, and train derailments, and horrific shipping delays happen? Because she’s not causing it. They’re not either. You’re grabbing their shit and smearing it in everyone’s faces insisting she’s lying about it being shit.” explains Ed Nesheim.

“It’s not shit. Lem was attracted to men. She’s attracted to women. And they’re both pedophiles. And poor as church mice. And lazy. And stupid. And Black.

Come on! It’s OBVIOUS!!!” they say with fervency and the guise of great truth and light and forward thinking on their side.

“Lacey’s straight. And there’s no way she’s poor. Who are you thinking of?” asks Ed Nesheim.

“Someone dark.” says the DNC, sincerely. “Thick dark hair.”

“How dark?” asks Ed Nesheim.

“Like…Egypt. Like Egyptian?” says the DNC.

“Why are they poor?” asks MSNBC.

“They’re- Weak? Sickly. They have a cough. And there’s a problem with a river?” says DNC.

“Hmm. Go on!” says David Hyde Pierce.

“They have problems with sand.” says the DNC, sincerely and seriously.

Later.

“SAND!?” says MSNBC.

“Yes!!” says DNC, confused.

“You’re putting her in EGYPT.” says MSNBC.

“ that’s fine see we’re better off without you you fools, you losers!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior’s brother from his past life if there’s reincarnation in the Bible.

“What era is it?” asks David Hyde Pierce.

“It’s a time of great travel.” says the DNC.

Later.

“So it’s the Islamic invasion of Egypt?” says David Hyde Pierce to the DNC, putting on his Niles-Crane-psychiatrist hat.

“No!” says the DNC.

“Why!?” asks David Hyde Pierce.

“Because it’s-“ says the DNC.

“It’s in Egypt. Hundreds of years ago. …And she’s Egyptian herself in this vision.

I would think…based on the likelihood that if there’s reincarnation in the Bible she must be Scotia…that this is likely the Islamic conquest of Egypt.” says David Hyde Pierce.

The DNC stares at him in anger. “No!!”

“Why?” asks David.

“Because it’s important to remember what we’re dealing with here.” says the DNC.

“Let’s be crazy. Let’s forget that for a moment.

Why can’t she be Scotia?” asks David.

“Because then she’s important. And Kate, and Erin and Joan and lots of other of the gals will have their feelings hurt. Okay?” says the DNC.

“The gals?” says David Hyde Pierce.

“Yes. We call them professionals.” says the DNC.

“The gals at MSNBC?” says David Hyde Pierce.

“It sounds like you’re running a strip club!” says Casi, confused.

“Listen! Take your Christian Fundamentalist Views from 1800’s Italy and shove em up your ass. Okay?” says the DNC to Casi.

“She’s not a Christian Fundamentalist.” says a woman named Misty.

“No. She’s a former stripper.” says a perfume collector.

“Yeah. Whatever.” says the DNC, rolling its eyes and laughing. “They come up with new ones every year.”

“No. That’s FACT!” says the CIA, as adamantly as possible.

“So we don’t want to admit that Lacey is Scotia?” says David Hyde Pierce.

“I’m just not there yet.” says the DNC.

“Do you believe in Global Warming?” asks Greta Thunberg.

“In some parts.” says the DNC.

“Which parts?” asks Greta.

Take Me to Church plays for the DNC and Satan as they flirt with each other.

“Well… You know? You’re an obnoxious bitch!” says to Greta.

“Answer!!” says Greta.

“Okay. On a low level it’s real.

Like…maybe it’s sort of real. In a way.

But it’ll take hundreds of years…or 100 years to really matter.” says the DNC, shrugging.

“So how do you explain what’s happening?” asks Greta.

The DNC shrugs. “It’s just nature.”

“What the fuck do you stand for!?” says Greta.

“Lots of stuff.” says the DNC.

“Like what?” asks Greta.

“Ahh…Gay marriage. Gay rights. We stand with the LgTbQ people. Umm…The Dreamers.” says the DNC.

“Who!?” asks the Hispanic maid.

“The Hispanic dreamers.” says the DNC.

“Okay. What else?” asks David Hyde Pierce.

“NARAL.” says the DNC. “I think they still like us.”

Silence.

“Umm. Joe Biden.” says the DNC.

“So Democrats. Elected Democrats. Including Joe Biden. And…Hispanic people. Well…some Hispanic people. Umm…and the LGBTQ+ community?” asks David Hyde Pierce.

“Yes.” says the DNC.

“And us!” say the Kennedys.

“Not my kids!” says Aristotle Onassis. “No matter what they say otherwise. Or grandkids, obviously.”

“Mine either. If there’s reincarnation in the Bible.” says China.

“Mine either.” says Japan.

“Then you have earthquakes!” says JFK.

“Had them!” says Japan.

“Oh. I see! Sorry!!” says JFK, laughing. “My bad.”

“Did my siblings kill themselves?” asks Caroline Kennedy.

“What if they did!?!” says David Hyde Pierce.

She desperately tries to manifest Lem.

It doesn’t work as per usual.

“See. They are too fucked-up to answer.” says China.

“I was straight.” says Lem.

“We know.” says all of Asia, the Middle East, Russia, Africa, Scandinavia, the Asian Pacific Islands, all of Central and South America, the North Pole, Canada, Great Britain, France, Germany, Poland, all of Eastern Europe, and Spain. America and other parts of Europe and parts of the south Pole disagree with everyone else alive to varying degree. The Mediterranean says yes and no. And possibly there could be individuals in the other countries who disagree too, but not enough and there aren’t enough of them to matter. Most people alive can tell Lem was straight apparently. It’s seemingly an American delusion, mostly.

“Why do you all believe that so damn much?” asks Poland.

“Because. He looks gay.” says the DNC.

“He’s likely acting.” says David Hyde Pierce, trying not to laugh.

“Oh! Like how you acted straight?” asks the DNC.

“Mmm. Hmm. Well. Ahh…did you think I was straight?” asks David Hyde Pierce.

“You seemed suspicious. But I don’t think- You seemed…straight.” says the DNC in horror.

“Yeah. If you read me I seem gay. But that’s my spirit.” says David Hyde Pierce.

“Yes. Or your something.” says the DNC.

“My something!?!” says David Hyde Pierce.

“Yes. Your- You- Your…essence.” says the DNC.

“How much do you really protect us?” asks the LGBTQ+ community of the DNC.

The DNC smiles.

“So now you’re the party of the Hispanics. And Biden and remaining Kennedys.” says a Hispanic woman.

“What do you stand for now?” asks Lacey.

“Open borders?” says the DNC.

“To leave?” asks Lacey.

“No.” says the DNC.

“Why not?” asks Lacey.

“Okay.” says the DNC. “Everyone can leave if they want to.”

“Okay. So you’re broke as fuck.” says the GOP to the DNC.

“YUP!” says the DNC.

“Why!?” says JFK’s something. “We gave you lots of money!” He dances to Zombie by The Cranberries to seem spiritually posh and superior and cool as an Irishman. His whole family rocks that smoke and mirrors show.

“You’re not aware of our troubles!” says an Irish woman to Lacey.

“NO! She is. And was. It’s me who wasn’t.” says Lem.

“Ok. So…it’s done. I’ve heard enough.” says God. “But Casi and Jack. Tell me one thing: Why can’t you be yourselves?”

“We aren’t pretty enough.” says Casi.

“She stole our beauty.” says JFK.

“That’s not possible in this case.” says God.

They go into massive panics. Absolutely profound confusion.

“No. She so superior. Where it go!?” yells JFK.

“It wasn’t her. She didn’t take it.” says God.

“Who then!??” yells JFK.

“SATAN.” says God. “EVIL!!”

Casi shakes her head in frustration. “That’s what they always say!”

“But that’s what it is.” says a dead woman.

“But evil is good!” says JFK.

“SHIT!!” says Casi.