“You’re Sick!” by Nancy

“Yeah. You’re sick.” says Nancy to Lacey.

“I’m fighting a cold.” says Lacey.

“That’s not what I mean.” says Nancy.

“Are you referring to me?” asks Lem.

“Heck yeah!” says Nancy.

“What exactly do you imagine is happening?” asks Lem.

(Adult content below)

Back In Love by LEISURE plays.

“She has sex with your bones.” says Nancy, confused.

“His actual dead bones?” asks George Bush.

“Yes!! That’s what they do in the secret societies!” says Nancy.

“Actually…I find that endearing. It’s very painful to think we’re so separated.” says Lem. “But no.”

Masquerada, Suite From The Incidental Music For Orchestra by Aram Khachaturian plays.

“Then what the Hell is actually happening?” asks Nancy.

“I manifest.” says Lem. “Enough for her to sense me.”

“Goodbye!” says a skeptical psychic.

“No. Really. We do.” says Elliott Roosevelt.

“In her room!??” screeches a psychic.

“YES!!!” yells Louis.

“Then you’re battling Schizophrenia!” says the screeching psychic.

“NO! That doesn’t meet the criteria for schizophrenia. And actually…we do manifest them. Often.” says the Illuminati. “Daily.”

“Yup.” says Jonah Wiley. “It’s in the Bible.”

“I can’t get anything!” says the psychic like she’s a control in a scientific experiment.

“So what!??” says the Illuminati. “You’re not us. How do you think we control everything!?”

“They’re right. Sorry.” says Salem Massachusetts. “How long have you been practicing witchcraft?”

“Five to ten years.” she says.

“My great grandmother was a witch. These people are…very dangerous. So am I.” says the Salem witch.

“Then what the fuck am I supposed to make of this blog?” she says.

“Are you covering for Nancy right now?” asks the Salem witch.

“Yeah.” she says, shrugging.

“Nancy. They’re manifesting like in The Ghost And Mrs. Muir.” says the CIA.

“That’s not possible!” says Nancy, freaking-out.

“Why!? Because you ruined my romantic relationship with Lacey!??” says Scott Fitzgerald.

“No. It’s possible.” says a witch from PA.

“How!?” asks Nancy.

“Well…how did the Witch of Endor do it?” asks the PA witch.

“Yeah. It’s in the Bible, Nancy.” says Dr. Moritz.

“Then how is Lacey doing it!!?” asks Nancy.

“We just emerge.” says Lem.

“She might be slightly dead.” says a Salem witch.

“So you’re not hallucinations?” says Nancy.

“No. We’re not. She’s not hallucinating. That’s not what’s medically happening.

Look…we move things. We make noises that other people can hear. We…tell her when she’s sick at times. We plan things. We do things to at an extent like a living person. It’s not sick. It’s sad. Very sad. But it’s not sick.” says Lem.

Silence.

“Nancy…have you read Shakespeare?” asks Lem.

“No. Yes? Sort of.” says Nancy.

“Yeah. It’s there. Do you find The Ghost And Mrs. Muir sick?” asks Lacey.

“I wasn’t talking to you. I was talking to Lem.” says Nancy.

“Oh well.

Answer my question!” says Lacey.

“No. But that’s a movie!” says Nancy.

“Yeah. And she’s as pretty as me too.” says Gene Tierney. “Or prettier.”

“But it’s a movie.” says Nancy.

“So what!?” says Theodore Roosevelt. “Nancy!”

“Okay. It’s not sick.

It’s…perverse.” says Nancy.

“It could be. But…I don’t know that it is in my situation.” says Lacey.

“Nancy. Her father was born in 1894. Most men who she’s similar enough with to fall in love are dead. What do you want!?” says Dr. Moritz.

“Yeah. Alright.” says Nancy. “There’s no Skippy Handelman?”

“Mmm. No. Doubtful.

He was supposed to be a unique person.

And…really…he’s Lem Billings. He was literally inspired by Lem Billings.” says a writer for NBC.

“I’ve checked. There are few men available.” says Lem. “It’s fairly hopeless.”

“I’m not surprised.” says a Salem witch.

“Why!?” says Nancy.

“Genetics.” she says.

“No. It’s not as if God let’s living humans talk to the dead everyday. But it happens to some people in desperate situations. And she’s in one.” says Lem.

And at that Lem listens to Appalachian Spring with Lacey and sees her perspective. And begins to weep. Not as a gay man, but as a straight man…and really as just himself. Not possibly many, if any living men would understand.

“Uh no!” says a dead Jewish man. “You don’t see what we do.”

“How do genetics allow her to see that!??” says Dr. Moritz.

The dead Jewish man sighs. “She’s been very fertile. She was created to bear children. We created the Boomers. And she has that perspective on everything. And it’s our generational perspective. It’s her personality.

What’s so sad?

Even though this song is about Appalachia…it’s also about New York City. Old New York City. The city of immigrants. And….Lacey sees them. So do I. I’m their grandson. Lem gets it too. It’s about death.

It’s about death, love, hope, tragedy. And human dreams. It’s about the human heart.” he says.

“You can hear the dawn of the 20th Century at the end of the song.” says Lacey. “And all that hope.”

“No. That’s not something everyone can feel.” says Tsar Putin.

“Can you?” asks Joe Biden.

Strauss plays.

“Yes!” he says.

“I can’t.” says Joe. “Barely, anyway.”

“Can you?” a Salem witch asks the Kennedys.

“No.” says JFK. “Not really.”

“Then you built the music hall for Lem?” asks the witch.

“Yes and no.” says JFK.

“I don’t think I grasped the meaning.” says Lem. “If I’d loved you I’d not have committed suicide purely over that building.”

“Why?” asks the witch.

“We never made love.

But even if we had…I’d have thought staying alive for that building was worth it. To honor him. And the love we shared. At least that’s what I think.” says Lem. “I tried to be respectful to him and his family. But it irritated me. And I hated that place. It looked stupid from the outside, at least, and the acoustics were awful.”

“Would you have felt flattered by it?” asks Joe Jr. of Lacey.

“YES!” says Lacey. She fights back tears.

Joe looks sullen and pale.

“You STOLE MY LIFE!” yells Joe at JFK.

“Yeah. Lem and Lacey aren’t the same person in that way Jack.” explains a reader. “You can’t build the theater for Lacey through Lem in that way.”

“Why didn’t you just build it for me!!?” says Jackie.

“Because we’re not really like that!” says JFK.

“Like what!?!” says Jackie.

“British aristocrats!” yells something.

“Yeah. I’d never have built it.” says Joe.

“But what an honor!” says Lacey.

“Yes!” says Queen Victoria.

“DAMMIT!!” yells John Quincy Adams. “DAMMIT!!”

“Lacey can you see them?” asks the Salem witch.

“No. But I can in a way.

John Adams is in my living room. Jackie and JFK are in my dining room. I’m sitting with Lem on the sofa. And Joe is by a closet.” says Lacey.

They all leave except for Lem. And then try to return.

“I wound have made that place far more grand.” says Jackie.

“And I might have married.” says Lem.

“Why?” says JFK.

“No. Not true. But…I think it would have helped me.” says Lem. “I needed to feel free. From you.”

“That’s just riffing. And ribbing.” says a gay man.

“No. It’s not. I couldn’t stand him.” says Lem.

“Okay. So…that’s just weird.” says Nancy.

“Nancy it’s tragic.” says Lem.

“No.” says Nancy.

“IT’S TRAGIC.” says Lem.

“SHE’S UGLY AND EVIL!!!” says Nancy, rocking herself back and forth.

“No. She’s human.” says Harold Loeb.

“NO! I’m human. She’s EVIL!!!” says Nancy.

“No. She’s human. You just don’t want to feel any sympathy for her at all.” says the CIA.

“So what!?” says Nancy.

“Nancy. That’s weird.” says the CIA.

“Yeah. I’ve had to realize I have that problem with her too Nancy.” says Casi.

“Me too. Somewhat.” says Chris.

“Yeah. Me too.” says her legal step-mother-in-law.

A shadow moves around her dining room quickly before disappearing. Lacey’s unimpressed, so to speak. Common occurrence for her.