Accidental Lesbian

Last night someone informed Lacey politely that her attitude is very not straight. And she thought about it and realized that…in her early adolescence she had done something weird to her personality. Why? Because it seemed…romantic and daring. And it was to impress Joe Kennedy Junior to frequently talked to her in her subconscious.

What was the idea? To be a sort of…tough, brave, free-spirit. She thought he’d find that attractive. And he did. Kind of like Katharine Hepburn, except…more secretly lush and opulent as Lacey is straight and wanted to express that secretly. Why secretly? To lure men to chase her. Lure them with a secret to be uncovered of her own tranquil beauty. Joe played along and cruelly never told her about Lem. Yes, it all happened in her subconscious, but it affected her conscious.

Sadly…no living men under the age of…50 caught on. And Millennial men and women knew she was straight…at least mostly…but as this aesthetic and strategy was part of her attempt to stay pure for marriage as a Christian…she was far too coy for almost anyone alive under the age of 50 or 60.

And unfortunately…Casi may have developed interest in her based on her accidental lesbian aesthetic. Lacey didn’t think lesbians attracted each other that way. Matter-of-fact she didn’t think people attracted each other that way necessarily at all. Why? Because her father who raised her was a closeted homosexual or bisexual. So he’d frequently discredit his own gay mannerisms that were natural to him. He wasn’t really gay, he contended…even though he was. He sounded like one of Lem’s gay personalities consistently. And despite his attempts to get rid of his mannerisms…as they were real…they persistently emerged. Like when he was excited or caught off guard or upset. Any time he lost control of his act, so to speak. Possibly most people are like that. Actually…all people are like that.

The thing is…Lacey isn’t at all attracted to women. So she’s always been irritated by the way some women have found her attractive. But when she was about 10 or 11 she discovered a 1990’s lesbian aesthetic somewhere…possibly from a teacher or someone…and thought it was edgy and daring. And being so socially deprived and not loved she was never given any chance to understand that she’d made a mistake. Everyone just hatefully looked the other way or didn’t know her. Possibly no one…ever…warned her. Ever.

In her 20’s she tried to fix the situation by pursuing men she’d not have dated otherwise. It’s possible Joe felt bad and tried to find someone like him…in her legal husband Mark. At the time Mark appeared to be a genius, alcoholic, womanizer. He is no longer an alcoholic or womanizer (most likely) but is certainly still a genius.

“Why did you love our aesthetic?” asks a lesbian.

“It’s so free. And unfettered by the constraints of lots of tiresome evils.” says Lacey.

“Fair enough. But you’re not attracted to women.” says a lesbian.

“No. I didn’t think that mattered. I was told such things didn’t matter.

Sorry.” says Lacey.

“So you’ve never experimented with homosexuality?” asks a woman.

“No! It’s disgusting to me. I don’t need to. Eww. But…I love the aesthetic in certain ways.” says Lacey.

“Lacey how could you not realize how…bad that idea is?” asks a lesbian.

“I started doing the idea at age 10. I think it was…just lack of understanding in general. I was so young.” says Lacey.

“And no one ever warned you?” asks a lesbian.

“No! No one.” says Lacey.

A lesbian laughs.

“It’s funny. But it’s also extremely disturbing.” says Lacey.

A gay man looks horrified.

“Lacey what is your native aesthetic?” asks a gay man.

“I don’t even know.” says Lacey. “I know what it is as a member of the Greatest Generation. But I have no idea what it is as a Millennial. If there’s reincarnation I know that too. But again, not as a Millennial.”

“Your dad is a good dad. But I don’t think he knew how to save you from that one. Or he just couldn’t.” says a reader. “Tom, I mean.”

“What happened when older men called your bluff?” asks a man.

“I felt embarrassed and rather silly. But I couldn’t figure out why quickly enough.” says Lacey.

“She’s been bullied by both the living and the dead.” says a woman.

Later.

“You never met any nice guys?!?” asks a Millennial man.

“No. I met them. But they always had girlfriends who would hated me.” says Lacey. “I never met one who was single. Possibly ever.”

“She was sadistically bullied by the dead.” says a woman, irritated that she has to repeat herself.

“What was your aesthetic at age 10?” asks Casi.

“Actually her parents were abusive. So you’d have to go back to age 2 or 3.” says Lem. “She was a little ballerina.”

“I loved to dance.” says Lacey.

“That makes sense! There’s some crossover between that aesthetic and homosexuality. So…is she naturally graceful or not?” asks a reader.

“Yes. Very.” says Lem. “She has no self-awareness of that though. And she’s terrified of offending people. So she frequently dismantles her natural instincts to be appropriate.”

“Like walking too fast.” a former roommate, Lauren.

“Yes. She walks very quickly.” says Lem. “She’s literally running away from people, in public. In private she’s far more relaxed.”

“She wasn’t around me.” says Lauren.

“No. It’s too scary.” says Lem.

“Why did no one ever tell her?!?” yells a woman.

“It’s just not our place.” says another reader.

“Why!?” says the woman.

“People don’t talk about things like that!” says a man.

“But like a friend even!??” she says.

“People just didn’t care that much.” says another woman. “I guess people just…didn’t give a shit.”

“But her life got ruined!” says the woman.

“Yeah. But I don’t think people cared.” says a man.

“Why!?” asks the woman.

“Because it’s a gay aesthetic. And homosexuality is evil.” says a man.

“That’s your personal opinion. But regardless, that’s not even what she is!” she says.

The men think.

“Why didn’t anyone worry more about Lem!?” says a Boomer.

“How obvious was it that he wasn’t gay!? It’s fucking obvious with Lacey.” says the woman.

“Fairly obvious. I mean…Red Fay noticed. But other people did too. But…we had a different understanding of it all back then. We didn’t think homosexuality was inherited or a predisposition. We thought it was a choice. Or a derangement. Or…a deformity. Most people thought that. If they even knew what it was.” says Ben Bradlee.

“But you were quoted as saying he was gay!!” she says.

“Yes!! But I was told he was gay. And I hesitate. ‘I suppose.’ I didn’t say, ‘We knew.’ And every bit of evidence to suggest Lem was gay has been wildly exaggerated and every bit of evidence to suggest he was straight or bisexual has been repressed or ignored.” says Ben Bradlee. “Really…I was slightly lying. I was going with the trends and trying to be socially acceptable.

To be honest…I might not have ever anticipated this. And I had doubts that there was even an afterlife. So it made sense to just…say whatever the hell I wanted to say. And I felt intimidated. I felt ashamed of myself for cowering to public opinion. But…I like people’s approval.

Lem didn’t seem…gay. Not really. It was very questionable. But he did act gay here and there, so to speak. It would fade in and out. So…I didn’t really know. But…everyone said he was. So I just…*he shrugs* went with the flow.” says Ben Bradlee.

“Okay. But it’s clear she isn’t. So…why didn’t we say anything!?” asks a woman.

“I should have said something!” says Casi.

“Yeah. And you could have gotten away with it.” says the woman.

“Casi. What would you have even said?” says a perfume collector.

“Some people act like lesbians and some people- And some of us actually are.” says Casi. “Or have tried it.” She thinks. “Something like that.”

“What the hell were they thinking!?? You can’t torture Lem’s twin flame just because you’re pissed off he wasn’t gay!!” yells a psychic.

“Welp. That’s what they did.” says a dead Minnesotan.

“Dear God that’s dumb!” says a psychic.

“Yeah. But…they’re not as smart as people say they are.” says a perfume collector.

“The Kennedys?” says a man.

“Yeah. It’s obvious they’re idiots now. What with Bobby’s idiotic run for US President-“ says a perfume collector.

“Ahh…it’s not that stupid.” says another perfume collector.

“No. It is! Because he’s going to lose. And running a Presidential Campaign is expensive! He’s probably close to bankrupt. If Cheryl even let’s him use their own money anymore. And obviously his family has some strategic reason they think it’s a shitty idea.” says the perfume collector.

“Mmm. Yeah.” says the second perfume collector.

“You know honestly…it ruins their brand. If he loses they’ll never be able to easily win again. Or they’ll have to rebrand. And they can’t.” says a woman at NBC.

“Why?” asks Casi.

“Because the Kennedy aesthetic is based on them being viciously fabulous and always winning.” says the woman at NBC. “If they look stupid and disorganized and lose…their whole public persona is done for.”

“So they are currently destroying their family name?” asks Casi.

“Yes! But it’s unclear if they know that or not.” says NBC.

“Who did that?” asks Casi. “Lem?”

“No!” says a Kennedy.

“They did it to themselves.” says a man from Virginia.

“Yeah fucking right!” says Casi.

“So they basically destroy her life…try to sadistically steal her twin flame and so then she destroys their entire family name for all of history.” says a man at CBS.

“It’s not a fair trade.” says Lacey.

“So if they hadn’t messed with you…where wound they be?” asks NBC.

Hangingaround by Counting Crows plays.

“Joe II would be running for the US Senate. Or would be taking a far more public role…successfully.” says Lacey. “And none of my generation would be dead.”

“She didn’t kill them. It was just almost unavoidable. They became cursed. Their spiritual inheritance was cursed by attacking her. She didn’t do anything.” says Lem, to explain.

“But I never acknowledged her!!!” yells Joe Junior.

“Yeah. Less than I acknowledged Lem.” says JFK.

“But that’s bad Joe.” says an angel.

“But I couldn’t do it. She’s not cool enough.” finally admits Joe. “I only socially acknowledge really cool girls, so to speak. She’s too…uncool.”

“You made her uncool.” says Great Britain.

“So fucking what!??” says Joe Junior.

“So that’s why you don’t do what you did.” says a literal saint.

“Huh. Yeah. Makes sense.” says a living lesbian.

“What’s her aesthetic? In a world where the dead don’t shit on her grave because seashells are almost always feminine?” says Casi.

“A lot quieter. A lot more straight.” says someone shrugging.

“Yeah! But she’s extraordinarily good-looking!!” protests Joe Junior.

“You made that not matter. And I’m a fictional character.” says Skippy.

Lacey’s legal husband almost parks in front of a cigar emporium. Then he gets the idea to move away.

“See. That’s the kind of stuff I’ve been pulling and my family has been pulling her whole life. Why? Because men who could find her attractive could theoretically walk out of that store. And she’s sitting there alone. So…inspire her legal husband to move elsewhere. We’ve been obsessive about it her whole life.” confesses Joe.

“So…be honest.

Is this retribution for Lem…or hate for her?” asks a psychic.

“Okay. I’ll answer that.

But first you have to explain to me why her beauty doesn’t matter anymore. It’s so obvious to me…and I cannot figure out why it seemingly doesn’t matter?” says Joe.

“She’s better looking on person. But that’s not bad.” says Joe.

“Okay. You’ve dressed her as a lesbian. Slightly.” says Casi.

“But not really though. Not really.” says Joe.

“It’s…extremely beautiful. Yeah.

But it’s not what’s trending right now. Her facial features are timelessly exquisite. But…they’re…kind of old school.

See. She looks like them. For real. Not just an inspiration.

Those are her actual features. She’s prettier than the beautiful woman. But…we’ve moved on Joe.

It’s not that it’s not still gorgeous. It’s a timeless beauty. Sure. But…it’s not what’s happening right now. So…she’s still a ten. But she’s…not trendy.

So…she was always going to have to try harder. Just to get noticed. More than most people. And certainly more than most people as beautiful as her.” says a psychologist.

“How close to the second woman are her facial features in person?” asks Casi.

“She’s more like the first woman. Because she’s real. But yeah…it’s close.” says the CIA. “Close enough.”

“Ahh…so…Joe being a narcissistic didn’t realize that?” asks a woman.

“Yeah. He had no clue. He assumed he was still top shit.” says the CIA.

“Okay. But she is extremely beautiful!” says Casi.

“So…yeah. She’s extremely hot. But…we’re not the Greatest Generation. So…your extreme attempt to keep her single…was deadly.” says Gen. X guy.

“She’s extremely pretty!” says another Greatest Generation man.

“Yes. But she’s your generation!” says the Gen. X man.

“So what!?” says another Greatest Generation guy.

“So…that’s your generation. And that’s sad. Because she was never raised to join us.” says the Gen. X guy. “Or just barely, anyway.”

“So you notice?” says a dead Greatest Generation guy.

“She passes. She’s 40. It’s not like it wasn’t possible. But…it’s an already shitty life. Because she’s not a pedophile and she’s possibly genetically more limited than most people.” says a journalist.

“Shit…we messed-up.” says Joe.

“So you destroyed her personal aesthetic because you didn’t want her to be too pretty?” says a perfume collector. “And she was also traumatized. And what? Jack was already also trying to just ruin her life in general.”

“Yes. And it worked. Until she grew-up.” says Joe.

“What difference did that make?” asks NBC.

“She was a kid. And kids aren’t as safe from attack as adults but they’re also safer. It’s complicated. How do you not understand?!” says Joe.

“Fair enough!” says a Gen. X man.

“What is her aesthetic???” asks a woman.

“It doesn’t exist.” says a dead woman. “It’s never been created.”

“She’s a lot prettier than that fake woman.” says a reader.

“Yeah. There’s no way for her to express herself. It just doesn’t exist. The best she can do it explain herself through our clothes.” says a dead Greatest Generation woman.

Later.

“This woman is profoundly alone. Poor her and poor Lem. He must feel miserable watching her.

Casi why did you have to steal her perfume?” asks a perfume collector.

“I was jealous.” says Casi.

“Of the little she had?!?” yells the perfume collector.

“Yes. It seemed more impressive than that.” says Casi.

“Well…they were an impressive group of people. There’s a reason we call them the Greatest Generation. But just because she’s impressive doesn’t mean she’s as happy as you’d think she is. They often were very impressive even while being miserable. Lem…easily could have been straight. And she’s clearly good at hiding her pain from others.” says the CIA. “That being said…some pain is too much to handle and just in case someone is trying to analyze the situation right now: No Lem could not have been as cheerful as he genuinely was at Jack’s wedding if he wasn’t straight. And no, he was too happy in general and yet restless.”

“Even if he was drunk!?” asks a reader.

“Yes! There’s no way to psychologically make those feelings completely go away from view. And there’s no trace of them.

We have leading experts working for us and they have analyzed the photos and there’s no way it’s possible he was hiding anything romantic in nature for Jack at Jack’s wedding. He could have thought he felt something…but it wouldn’t have been real romantic emotion. He simply isn’t sad enough in the right way. It’s like he’s sad..but not in a way that one would be if you’re in love with someone and they’re getting married.” says the CIA.

“How was he sad then?” asks a reader.

“His face is dropping, we’ll say, in a way that almost always indicates some sort of depression. Not specific to the event but an overall state of ongoing depression. He actually looks to be…happy at the event. But sad about something bothering him on some deep personal level. It’s highly doubtful it’s about Jack in any way that would indicate homosexuality for Lem and actually it’s more likely to hint at the opposite.” says the CIA.

“Why don’t you share these things with us?” asks a reader.

“Before a catastrophe?” says the CIA.

“Yes!” says the reader.

“Because we have to stay in our own lane, so to speak.” says the CIA.

“So you have to be aware but not share too much.” says a reader.

“Bingo.” says the CIA.

“That must be torture.” says the reader.

“Well…we’re psychologically equipped for that. That’s part of what we’re taught. How to manage our emotions in difficult situations of many different varieties.” says the CIA.

“So you know he wasn’t gay.” says a reader.

“Yes. If he’s straight now and was…we do know that.” says the CIA. “At least some of us do.”

“Did Joe Biden know that?” asks a reader.

“No comment.” says the CIA.

“So if Joe Biden knew that…did they encourage Lacey and Lem to be together and then have to cover up for that?” asks a reader.

Silence.

“Yeah. That makes sense! It’s Bobby’s Achilles Heel. His narcissistic personality disorder. So he’s making a fool of himself and getting progressively more agitated in the process.” says a reader who might vote for him.

“Well…that’s an interesting perspective.” says the CIA.

“Is he capable of ever knowing Lem is straight?” asks another fan of his.

“He’s possibly not.” says the CIA.

“Then he’s stuck making an ass of himself!??” yells a fan of his.

“He’s struggling to comprehend the situation.” says the CIA.

“Why!?” asks Casi.

“He has very scanty memories of a lot of that time in his life because he used so many substances. Or he was so young and he’s not blessed with anything but a normal memory.

And so a lot of the ideas he has are based on his own personal feelings about things, his imagination, or stories he’s been told. None of which are safe and reliable but he’s not willing to let go of those tools and rely on actual memory because he’s too traumatized by his father’s assassination and family problems…to easily let himself access that part of his mind. He has a lot of repressed memories. And he…hates what the memories of Lem tell him.” says the CIA. “A lot of his memories of Lem indicate that Lem was straight but…they also indicate that Lem didn’t love him as much as he wants him to have loved him.”

“So he needs to believe that Lem loves and loved him?” asks a reader.

“He doesn’t need to. But if he processes through that then he’s liable to find his mind…processing what he’s done in his own life. He uses his possibly false narrative of Lem to justify and protect himself from being moral at times. Especially in regard to women.” says the CIA. “I’m his mind Lem was…the ultimate sycophant. First for Jack and then for him. And even if that’s not real…it’s his ideal narrative as a narcissist.

He’s stuck. Because he’s can process through his memories and realize Lem wasn’t a father figure in a sense of personal safety…at least past his early childhood…and accept that Bobby is the only father he truly has…and Ethel is only real mom…or he can continue ignoring his memories and believing the things he’s told that he likes. He’s not necessarily…ignorant so much as determined not to lose his perceived ideal sense of reality.” says the CIA.

“Do you know any of his repressed memories?” asks a reader.

“We know a few.” says the CIA.

“What are they?” asks a reader.

Later.

“He has a memory of Lem holding him on his lap. In an entirely non-sexual way. Right?

…And apparently he’s told people he cries in this memory and Lem holds him. And then he goes to bed by himself and feels comforted by Lem but then hates him too. And why does he hate Lem? Well because Lem is so…gentle and…aristocratic. And it’s clearly in a way that indicates that Lem was heterosexual…but Bobby can’t admit that…so he contorts Lem’s mannerisms to mean that he’s…mysterious and in love with him. Apparently Lem let down his guard and used his real voice to try to comfort the young Bobby Junior…but Bobby ignores that point entirely. He instead claims that, ‘There was a coldness about him…that bespoke his rugged independence and supreme intellect. And it was moments like that when I started to most admire him and hope to someday be like him.’

In reality Bobby represses his feelings of jealousy and anger towards Lem. But he’s had it subconsciously modeled for him that the way to handle those emotions is by falling in love with one’s opponent. So he begins to obsess over Lem and people are scared by this and decide that Lem must be the instigator yet again. It makes no sense, but that’s the idea people had. Or invented.” says the CIA. “We’re not at liberty to discuss who those people were who assumed Lem was ‘transferring love from Jack to Bobby.’”

“Why!?” asks a reader.

“Because the Kennedys are already extremely angry with what I’ve said today.” says the CIA.

“Why did people invent those stories about Lem again?” asks a reader.

“Because they needed Lem to be…the sexual instigator. And Ethel needed an excuse too.

Bobby wasn’t…quite…what he’s touted as being. He was short and scrawny and frankly obnoxious. But it was spun politically by partisan hacks at the time as hot and wild. He might have seemed cute to a teenage girl…but…to any adult who wasn’t a pedophile he’s very unlikely to have been remotely attractive. Physically or psychologically. No normal adult gay to straight or otherwise would have been likely to find his teenage self attractive because he was an annoying, know-it-all, arrogant, total slut. And that’s not actually as sexy as Liberals want and have wanted you to think. Pedophiles might fancy it. But…it’s not psychologically it’s not normal for adults past age 25 to be attracted to that attitude past a certain point unless the person doing it is extremely attractive and brilliant, at least. And no, Bobby wasn’t that good-looking. Lem was…but at the time those stories were invented to make the Kennedys look sexy the people inventing the stories forgot that or didn’t know that as much as they took on the role of psychological expert on the matter of Lem. And Lem was never that rude and arrogant anyway.

Bobby was an absolute terror as a child and teenager. He bullied everyone. And he attacked Lem, actually. At least once. His efforts to make Lem use heroin were homicidal in nature. But…that’s the thing. That scared and scares Liberals running things. And so they made it seem normal. And then they accidentally missed the reality of what was going on in the process. Lem was trying to let at least Bobby kill himself, if not other young Kennedys in self-defense. And to likely protect other people from what he likely believed was sociopathic behavior. …But again, being too worried about the image that that created of Bobby being crazy and pure evil…they normalized it and made Lem look in love with him. Because they felt it all fit together perfectly. And some people did do drugs with kids, who were abusive, in high society so they could use that to normalize it all and they did. They heavily leaned in to that!

No…what they missed was that they wrote Lem as a pedophile. Because the whole cover was half baked anyway. Again, no 14 year old, short, annoying teenager is that sexy to a normal adult male. So…we suspect that that’s partially when some gay men became so obsessed with Lem. Why? Because they actually felt protective of Lem’s story. They didn’t want Lem to be written in history as a pedophile so they focused on his supposed love for Jack to redirect our attention and redeem his narrative.” says the CIA.

“But he wasn’t even gay!” says a living gay man.

“No. I’ll say no.” says the CIA. “For now.”

“So that’s a no.” says another living gay man.

A moment later, “You had no way of easily discerning that. The Liberals controlled the narrative publicly. And your opinion has to be formed based on what they share with you. That’s the nature of a society. That’s why most lies are so costly, if not lethal.

So you had no firm basis to support your subconscious observations that Lem was straight.” says the CIA.

More later.

“Why does Bobby think running for US President right now is a wise idea?” asks a woman.

“He’s aging and our political parties are in chaos. And I think he’s made a name for himself lately. And…he’s feeling anxious.” says another CIA operative.

“Why is he feeling anxious?” asks the reader.

“Because he’s- Look if this blog is based on an actual real Illuminati he’s feeling anxious. Lacey is unnerving to him because she resembles his wives both in personality and looks…and she has seemingly been interacting with his dead family for decades. And even he has accidentally interacted with her. And Tom is a real person. And there’s a very good chance she’s Tom’s actual daughter. And…she’s creepy to him. Very creepy. So…he’s reacted badly to it all in a way. He’s attacked her and Lem both, openly and…I think he thinks if he wins the US Presidency it’ll somehow prove something about him to everyone.” says the new CIA operative.

“Can he win?” asks a reader.

“The chances are slim. …Truthfully, only Donald Trump has much of a real chance.” says the CIA operative. “But we’ll see.”

“So you already know that!?” says a woman in the perfume community.

“Yup.” says the CIA operative. “We’re prepared for that not to be true…but at the same time it’s very possibly true.”

“That must be depressing.” she says.

“It’s a tough career.” they say.

“So Lem got trapped in the Kennedy family. Did he ever have a way to escape?” asks a reader.

“Not easily. My guess…is that after he graduated late from Choate…he was done for. They must have talked him into that. And once they did…he was dependent on them. It’s a psychological thing, at the very least.

No…they swiped him young and he believed they were safe enough until it was too late to easily get away. Jack and that whole family became dependent on his help. And he managed Jack’s emotions for everyone to some degree. He was their buffer from having to deal with a malignant narcissistic buffoon directly themselves, again, to at least some degree of comfort. He essentially babysat Jack. And they became dependent on that.” says the CIA operative.

“So he just kept thinking it was cool?” says a reader.

“I think he was scared. But I also think he was fooled. Yes.” says the CIA operative.

“Jack could get very violent when you said no.” says another CIA operative.

“What happened with him and Marilyn Monroe?” asks a reader.

“We’re not at liberty to say.” says the third operative.

“So Lem was threatened by Jack, violently?” says a reader.

“Yes! On multiple occasions. Jack threatened his life. And possibly the lives of his family members in the Billings family.” says the second operative.

“Yeah! This makes so much sense to me.” says a living gay man.

I actually look like Lem. And I’ve been told that.

But…to be honest…I’ve often looked at him and felt…not flattered. In my head he seems old, and…curmudgeonly…and…not…attractive. Okay?

Ahh…but…-“ says the gay man, who’s in traffic.

“We’re talking to his subconscious right now.” says the second CIA operative.

He thinks.

“What if he wasn’t gay!?” he says to himself (and us.).

“How often do you listen to us!??” asks a reader.

“Ha! Caught ya!” yells Bobby at the CIA. “I can use my narcissism for good.”

“Not that often.” says the second CIA operative.

“When do you do it??” asks a reader.

“Keep those questions rolling in!” says Bobby.

“In serious circumstances. We rarely interact unless it’s potentially catastrophic. And you rarely notice. When you do…it’s like a waking dream. In your mind. You process it like a dream. Or close to it.” says the CIA.

“Are we aware of it?” asks a reader.

“Some people get a sense that ‘something weird is going on’ and other people barely notice at all. There’s a few times we’ve accidentally talked to someone who’s schizophrenic and it’s sad. You do your best damage control with the situation and of course I mean letting them live. And then try to move on.” says the CIA.

“Mmm. He looks gay.

But those are not gay pants.” says the gay man about Lem, having looked at his photo at a stoplight.

He drives.

“He’s not gay.” he thinks.

He drives.

A subliminal message he saw online pops into his head. He’s told to think Lem was gay.

“But he’s ugly!” he says.

He thinks.

He drives.

“Who’s conjuring him?” asks the CIA.

“Me!!” says Bobby.

“Bobby he’s leaking.” says the CIA.

“Pish posh!” says Bobby, laughing. “I know he’ll come around in a second and prove me right.”

“Ewww. Lem is gross.” says the gay man.

Awkward quiet.

“He’s not gross to me.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. But you’re an old woman.” says the gay man in the car.

“I’m considered beautiful.” says Lacey.

He gets an image of her in his head.

“You’re- No. You were HOT!” he says. “They’ve lied about you.”

He fumes, breaths quickly and thinks.

“He was straight!” he thinks.

Then a barrage of subliminal messages bombard him again.

“Is it mind pollution?” asks Lacey.

“Yes and no.” says the Illuminati.

“Yeah.” says Lacey.

“He was gay!” he says aloud.

Then he feels uneasy.

“Bobby how is this a victory for you?” asks the CIA.

“Huh?” says Bobby. A psychic working for him told him that he was going to eventually say that. So Bobby has stopped listening.

“Never-mind.” says the CIA.

“He has to be gay!!” says the gay man driving his car.

But he still feels uneasy.

He drives his car. Listens to classical music. Thinks.

“He can’t possibly have been straight!??” he says. “No. People magazine doesn’t lie!” he says to himself as his brain has been trained to think by public relations professionals who work in the Illuminati. They use sources like People to protect their clients. “No! A man can’t pretend to be gay! That’s just never done. Nobody ever pretends to be homosexual. And it’s evil of me and disloyal as a gay man to even consider that!!” he says as his brain has been trained.

He drives on.

He eyes himself in the mirror.

He feels uneasy.

Perfect Girl by Mareux plays for him in his subconscious and Lacey.

“What if I’m brainwashed?” he says.

He thinks.

“He has straight sex.” he says, suspiciously. “In those pants.”

He drives.

“That lying fucker!!” he says about Lem. Then he thinks of Marilyn Monroe. “Was she reallly in love with JFK though? She was such a whore.”

He drives.

“Okay he was straight. But…we can’t think that.” he says in his head.

He drives.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“He’s too sexual.” says the gay man.

“Too sexual?!?” says Lacey.

“Lots of normal people are. I am too. That’s why I’m not famous.

They’re threatened by us.” he says.

“Who is?” asks Lacey.

“The losers.” he says. “You and I know Lem was straight. But we can’t have that discussion until we’re dead.”

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“Because! It’s too dangerous.

Remember 1984. This is it!!” he says.

“Fuck that!

Why do you think he isn’t gay?” says Lacey.

He smiles. Thinks. “You’re scary.

Ahh…it’s his pants.” he says. “Something about the hem of his pants. And his…mouth. It’s not gay enough. He looks…like a grumpy straight man.”

“Maybe you’re right.” says Lacey.

“The Kennedys really control his narrative.” he says.

“They might.” says Lacey.

“It’s tragic. He deserves better.” he says.

“He does.” says Lacey.

“No! I do care!” he says, fighting more embedded subliminal messages to not care and look the other way.

“Why do they need my husband so badly?” asks Lacey.

He thinks. “They don’t. They only think they do.” He thinks. “You actually did and do need him.” He thinks. “Are you in prison?”

“No. But I feel like that at times.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. They don’t need him.” he says.

“Why do they think they do?” asks Lacey.

“Because Jack is a delusional narcissist.” he says. “He’s incapable of being honest. He’s attached to Lem because he’s…immature. He thinks Lem is a good luck charm. Or like that. And he doesn’t give two shits who Lem actually belongs to. Or about what Lem wants. He was a worthlessly…perversely self-centered man. Oh my god!

So…he’d be hurt if Lem wasn’t in love with him. And I think he thought Lem was. But I also think he made that up to feel good about himself and then forgot that he’d done that at times. But…he hated him. Or rather he hated him existing outside of him.” says the living gay man who is driving, although he just pulled up to his house.

Let’s leave him alone now.