Calèche

Notes: The nose behind this fragrance is Guy Robert. Top notes are Aldehydes, Cypress, Bergamot, Neroli, Orange Blossom, Lemon and Mandarin Orange; middle notes are Iris, Ylang-Ylang, Rose, Gardenia, Jasmine and Lily-of-the-Valley; base notes are Oakmoss, Sandalwood, Vetiver, Cedar, Musk, Amber and Tonka Bean. 

Year: 1961

My gosh.

First of all the vintage is better. Vintage parfum.

It’s stinky to be honest. But a lot of the most enjoyable perfume stinks. At least that’s what I think. And nobody notices what I smell like anyway unless I’m at doctor’s office or something of that sort. So…I wear Caleche and Coriandre and all sorts of (secretly hilariously) stinky perfumes because they’re…so…relaxing. Aveda is very much based on this. So don’t lie and tell me what I’m saying is absurd. I might be slightly wrong…but how?

No. Hermes (eye-roll) Caleche is…lemon and…Aveda Phomollient. Except…it’s…also Hermes. So it’s…good.

What’s good? Good is when something is well done and brilliant. And possibly when it actually edifies God in some way.

So yes. Jokes on you, dumbass, arrogant narcissistic fucks who think they’re such badasses for being atheists. You think you’re so smart? You’re ANNOYING!!!!!

*yelling* “YOU ANNOY ME!!!”

You also break my heart.

Because wow. Do you experience good? At all? Do you snort your food like heartless, ugly animals from Hell? Oh! Do PREACH TO ME…AND SAVE ME!!

*One stupidly threatens to.*

Some people are what? Evil worms from Hell?

Oh no. That can’t be right. Why? …Because God says it isn’t. He says you’re human and worth dying for.

*I smile.*

Lotus Flower by Radiohead plays.

How lovely for you.

I’m not like you.

It’s a beautiful world for you. Is it for me? Everyone tells me no. Everyone alive tells me that the Earth was never meant for me. That you’re all more worthy of God’s love than me. That I’m not human. That I’m not a fake god like all of you but a real one. Only God knows if that’s true. But if it’s true…then…I wear Caleche because it’s…stupid as fuck but so are most things.

The song plays.

You love them though. I know you do. How lovely…for you.