(2:19 AM, Friday May 10th, 2024)
Bobby cries.
“Why doesn’t Lem like me!??” he says, sitting in an Illuminati bathroom stall.
“It’s just like….he’s not into men.” says a woman.
“OH MY GOD!!!” wails Bobby.
“Bobby…why do you think he’s here?” asks a woman.
“He’s here to see me!!!” says Bobby, in a whiny voice.
He sniffles. Wipes his nose with the bathroom toilet paper.
“Why…is he sleeping with Lacey?” asks one of his friends.
“Because he’s a faggot!” says Bobby.
“Huh.” says the second woman.
“Why would a gay man do that?” asks a woman.
“What!??” asks Bobby.
“Why would your average homosexual man sleep…with a woman?” asks the woman.
“Because!
It’s a prestige thing.” says Bobby.
“Wow.
How do you think he gets hard for her?” she asks laughing.
Bobby laughs. Falls on the ground laughing.
“He masturbates.” he says.
“Bobby…I’m gonna be honest with you…that doesn’t make any sense.” she says.
He becomes agitated.
“Bobby…what do think is happening? Do you think they’re really sleeping together?” asks the second woman.
“No!!!” Bobby shouts. “I’m the only man he sleeps with.”
“Bobby…she’s not a man. And…never was. And you’re-“ she says.
But at that realizing he’s completely full of shit and Lem was more straight than him, if not entirely straight he pulls out a heroin needle and shoots himself with heroin. He hands the needle to the woman next to him and she eyes it with suspicion.
“Bobby! Why are we doing drugs!??” asks the first woman.
“It’s just a little heroin every other day. Or every few days.” says Bobby.
“But you can’t use heroin!!” says the second woman.
He’s out.
“What the fuck is his problem!??” says the first woman.
“He’s an asshole.” says the second woman.
“Okay so…Lem…is…either straight…or bisexual.” says the first woman laughing.
The second woman nods. Laughs.
“Why does he do this!?? It’s so WEIRD!!” says the second woman.
“He’s gay.
He’s GOTTA BE GAY.” says the first woman.
The talk more.
“Why can’t he just let Lem go!? I’m JUST SO CONFUSED!” says the first woman.
“He’s like…psycho.” says the second woman.
“Yeah.” says the first woman.
They sound worried and freaked out.
“Should we just…quit?” says the second woman.
“I mean…he’s weird.” says the first woman.
“He’s straight. He looks like a guy I dated in high school. But he’s taller, and she’s right. His bone structure is old.” says the second woman. “It’s so obvious she’s right.”
“Yeah. But he’s really gay here.” says the first woman.
“Mmm. Well. He is. But look at his legs.” says the second woman.
“Okay. Man!
FUCK!!!!” she says loudly.
The second woman erupts in laughter. Bends over.
The first woman laughs too.
“What the fuck!??” says the second woman.
“He’s a hypocrite.” says the first woman.
They laugh together.
“He’s a hypocrite.” says the first woman again.
“If being- If Lem being straight was a non-vaccinated kid…his kid…would have AIDS.” says the second woman.
“AIDS!?” says the first woman laughing.
“Yes!!!” says the second woman.
“AIDS. …Don’t ask me how I worked that one out in my head…but I did.” she says, laughing.
“WOW!” says the first woman.
“Okay. So…it’s just…” says the second woman.
“It just-“ says the first woman.
“It’s…so scary.” says the second woman.
“Why don’t we just go?” says the first woman.
“Go where?” asks the second woman. “He has me on for the rest of the night.”
“We can’t work for him or it’s gonna get weird.” says the first woman.
“He’s weird!!” says the second woman.
They think.
“Okay. Let’s go. And then we’ll just lock him in here?” asks the first woman.
“YEAH!” says the second woman.
So the two women lock Bobby in a public restroom at a park. He’d snuck in with them. One of the forest rangers was a supporter of his.
So they lock Bobby in the public restroom.
They get in their cars and drive off.
Presumably they are fine.
They seem to be on a highway.
The meeting was over hours ago.
Bobby is silent. He must be just sitting there.
The CIA stops listening.
Presumably he’ll be checked on within an hour.
Yes. With countless people depending on him he’s currently sitting in a public restroom on the floor. Presumably.
“No. He’s there!” says the CIA, later.
“What happened last night with the Japanese man?” asks the Bush family.
“He was a gay prostitute.” says the CIA.
“Yeah. But he’s not…here now?” asks the Bush family. “Where did the gay man go?”
“He went to China.” says China. “Bobby bought him a plane ticket to China this morning.”
“So where is Bobby?” asks Cheryl.
“He’s in a secure facility.” says the CIA, matter-of-factly.
“Okay!” says Cheryl, laughing-smiling.
“Let’s just call it a night!” says the CIA.
And that they all call it a night.
Keen to Cross the Pond 