“A Sex Scene II” by Lacey

You have a low attention span? Fine.

I’ll work with it.

That’s why I write in short sentences. Because you all can’t seem to hear me otherwise. I lose your respect and attention. But if I speak quickly and violently you still seem to hear me. And that’s what I’m doing. I’m speaking quickly and violently so you’ll still hear me.

Alright?

Let’s move on.

Why can’t I get rid of the Kennedys because there’s so much evil on Earth that you all empower them to attack me. …And that’s why Lem is talks with Jesus about how to kill his entire family. We can’t keep dealing with these fallen, obtuse-evil people called the Kennedys. But we are worried about all of you.

Why are the members of the Royal Family all getting cancer? Well…possibly because there are a lot of angry dead people. Who are…possibly trying to desperately rescue people from Earth from the other side.

“So they want us to die!?” asks a woman.

“Yes. A lot of people in Purgatory are ready to throw in the towel on the Earth issue.” says a demon. “As much as God still loves the Kennedys they are literally ruining the Earth just as it was already falling apart.”

“Wow! I don’t get it.” say most living people.

“If it’s true…you will someday.” says the demon. “In Hell or in Purgatory. Whether you accept or not is up to you.”

“Why…are they allowed to get away with so much?!?” says Lacey. “That’s what I don’t understand.”

“Because they’re my sex slaves.” says Satan.

“Oh! They’re all having sex with you?” says Lacey to Satan.

He nods and shrugs.

Lacey thinks. “Is it good?”

“Yes!” says Satan.

“Like actually good?” says Lacey.

“Yes.” he says. “They’re quite content and they feel very cool and confident and loved.”

“Are they raping and molesting each other?” asks Lacey.

“Yes!!!” says Satan. “Of course!”

“I can’t believe they’re that stupid!” says Lacey to God and Satan both.

“Well…they are.” says Satan, shrugging.

“WHY!??” says Lacey to Satan. “You’re just slitting your own throat.”

“I may have made a mistake.” says Satan.

Monday Night by Zero 7 plays.

“That’s depressing for us all?” Lacey says to God.

The song plays.

“When I die…I’m ending the world.” says Lacey to God. “If you’ll let me. It’s just too damn sad. Really.”

“God might let you.” says Satan.

“Well to be honest I’m annoyed I have to do it. It’s a lot of work. Why can’t other people do it!? Why is it on me?” asks Lacey.

“Fair!” says Satan.

“I mean…I’m cool with it…if it glorifies Christ…but…it feels like a defilement of me that I should have to be the one to pull the trigger.” says Lacey. “My father and I are fearless in that way. But…it’s sick.”

“Yeah. Okay it is.” says Satan.

“I never consented to this. Did I?” asks Lacey.

“No.” says God.

“Are you evil!?” Lacey asks God.

“No!” says God.

“You know…I can barely hear you!” says Lacey. “Get off your ass and come end this shithole experience. NOW!!!!” she yells at God. Then she adds cheerfully, “But only if it’s appropriate to say that to you. In that tone. If it’s not then I’m sorry.”

“Of course I see your heart and the complex idea, for a human, that you’re trying to express.” says God.

“Thank you, sir.” says Lacey, with what she hopes is respect.

“Why did the secularists and atheists have to gut us? And then the New Agers helped them. …I truly think there could be a Purgatory.” says a reader.

“And a Hell and Heaven.” says a reader. “It’s like…let’s not lose our ancient wisdom just to seem ‘smart.’”