“Marilyn Monroe” by Lem Billings

(May 22nd, 2024)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich Man Poor Man Beggar Man Thief plays.

Was Marilyn Monroe obsessed with the Kennedys? I’m not who you think I am, necessarily. Was she? Was she the one who was obsessed if anyone was? Or what if…they were obsessed…with her? What if…she was made to feel loved and wanted and as if she was intimidating to them…and then they pulled the rug out from underneath her when she least expected it and she was too psychologically battered to handle it?

Did Bobby Senior act like a lovable loser around Marilyn Monroe? To gain her trust? And get her to take her guard down? And then his sisters acted like she was glamorous royalty and…Jack just another lovable buffoon? Maybe even a little backward and bourgeois compared to her usual company? And it got her to let down her guard?

Maybe. I was played too.

But Lacey Banks don’t play.

If there’s reincarnation she’s not Black. But she’s amused by being called “an angry Black woman.” She laughs. She has an excellent sense of humor about her ability to move oceans with telekinesis, that she’s submitted to Christ. Yes. She knew the pyramids were used in water supply…based on memory…if there’s reincarnation. Nah. Girl don’t play.

U Not Like Me by 50 Cent plays as Lacey struts down the hall like a ballerina in high school. She this bad. If you can’t feel it…that’s not my fault, believe it or not.

Her father parted amicably with his crowd. And there was nothing they could do about it. There still isn’t. …He was honorable. He was honest….in his heart. He was a born-again Christian when he died.

“Wait what!??” says a Muslim to Lacey.

She worries she isn’t reincarnated. “I’ll be making this up…or something else or someone else is telling me this. If I’m not reincarnated.

But what do you mean?” says Lacey.

“Water? In the pyramids!??” asks a Muslim.

“Yes!!” says Lacey.

Warning by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.

“Can I help you!??” a psychic reading this blog says. “Pretty please!? If there’s an Illuminati!?”

“You think we need tutoring?” asks Jeff Bezos, laughing. “We’re not all this confused. But we operate as a whole. Like a unified society.”

“Like Communism?” says a psychic reading this blog.

“Lem is straight. He’s just a confused…but cute…dork.” says a female psychic.

“Yes!” says Lem. “That’s unfortunately who I actually was. It’s sad. But I took my act very, very seriously.”

“Sorry, but sort of.” says Bill Gates.

“Eww.” says a reader.

“You deal.” says Bill Gates.

“To maintain power?” asks the psychic.

“Yeah!” says Bill Gates. “They’re like the mafia.”

Lacey dances to Music by Erick Sermon.

“Does she look white when she dances?” asks a reader.

“Ideally no. And actually…maybe not.” says a Black rapper.

“She looks like an Ancient Egyptian. Explain that, Poor Pope.” says Africa. “We ain’t gonna be fooled sweetheart. You do your thang, tho. Right, right?”

“So water!” says a Muslim to Lacey.

Shimmy Shimmy Ya by Ol’ Dirty Bastard plays. Listen to the piano! Remind you Eyes Wide Shut?

“Holy water?” says Lacey. “Yup. It was holy water.”

“Did you filter it?” asks the Muslim.

“Yes! Physically and spiritually.” says Lacey.

“To drink!?” asks a Muslim.

“Yes and no.” says Lacey. “I’m not Norman Bates. Jack Kennedy was. But…I’ll steal the act to destroy him. And strangle anyone with the cross of Christ who’s trying to murder me…if necessary.

“How do you strangle people with a cross?” asks a Muslim.

“Give me the mic? Aww! You did.

Mmmkay.

This is too easy!” says Lacey. “Almost like…y’all are the ones really committing suicide. Wow! Okay. Maybe I should end the world. It’s cool. …I got it.”

“So…why…did the Illuminati give her the mic?” asks a psychic.

“Good question!!!” says Lacey, exasperated by asking them that herself almost daily for over eight years.

“Oh well. That’s between them and God.

I think we’re the ones who care, Lacey.” says another psychic reading her blog.

“Do they have any consciousness beyond their narcissism?” says Lacey.

The psychic thinks. “Yes.”

“Cool!” says Lacey.

Iran laughs.

“Israel ain’t Ukraine, byotch.” says Lacey. “You blind, fool?”

“Nah. Amen.” says India.

“See…they ain’t got that figured out. Right? Aww. That’s the American education system. Right!?” says Lacey.

Gangsta Nation by Westside Connection plays.

“That sounds Muslim.” says a Muslim to Lacey.

“The water.” says Lacey.

“Yeah!” says a Muslim.

“Yes! We were looking for Christ.

Sorry. I love you. And I have to say it.

If there’s reincarnation we were looking for salvation. The blood of Christ. To purify us.” says Lacey.

“That makes sense.” says a psychic. “If there’s reincarnation…that makes sense.”

“We were obsessed with purifying ourselves somehow. Reaching perfection. But when perfect wasn’t enough to transform our sin…we needed help. And water seemed promising.”

“I think they wanted Jack to be Lacey.” says Eminem.

“That’s painful.” says Lacey. “Because I’m not him.”

“You knew telekinesis?” says Annette Bening.

“If there’s reincarnation, yes.” says Lacey.

“How does it work?” asks the CIA.

“You have to use forces. Forces in the air. Forces from the ground.

*All Alone by Gorillaz plays at the request of Eric Harris who’s mocking the Kennedys for isolating Lacey Banks as revenge for Lem being secretly straight.*

You have to harness those forces and let them use you as a conduit. And they require certain things of you. Like sacrificing your kids. Like literally killing your own kids. Or being Jo Jo willing to go to essentially Hell…for your own people. But…then you can move blocks with your eyes.” says Lacey.

“How did you get so chummy with Satan?” asks Annette Bening.

“They also likely thought both Lacey and Lem would be eternally in love with them.” says Eric Harris. “Even though Lem was actually straight…and still is.”

“We had a lot of conversations with him. And I think with demons too. And possibly with the dead. And…we…

*What’s Beef? by The Notorious B. I. G. plays.*

Had…sexual relations with Satan. Or felt he was our friend. …I think I escaped that. And my father meant well. But…it was innocent in a way. We had no idea what we were doing. I mean…some people did. But most of us…were innocent. Searching for Christ.

And…Satan decided to chill with us. He’s not necessarily pure evil. He’s not evil as a force. He’s just evil. Right? So…maybe he’s actually capable of getting attached to people even if he wishes them harm ultimately. And I think he was very attached to us…at times. So…he gave us huge advances.

It was an imitation of God’s power. And Moses used it to part the Red Sea.

Right?

But…we moved things too. Maybe that’s why we followed Moses into the water? We assumed we were safe. It was just our thing.

But…either someone is telling me this or it’s just what I remember. And…no. We were…fun to use. Because God loved us. We were brilliant. And cool. And tough. So cool. All of us. The whole country. And…if I’m Scotia He was very merciful. And just. But Satan loved to use us.” says Lacey.

“How did Satan harness the power God uses?” asks Annette Bening.

Lacey thinks. “Music. Snakes. Fire. We fell in love with…fire. And let the music move us like flames. …Really it was love for Christ. But we didn’t know that. So we…studied it. And did our best. And entities guided us.” says Lacey.

“So it was in the music?” asks the Pope.

“Yes! The tone. The beat.

You can hear it in What’s Beef?

The other day I was listening to rap and I screamed…around 4 am…and china shook. Across the room. Actually…it didn’t shake it moved. It shifted.” says Lacey.

“So…the spirits help your body direct the noise like…concentrated energy…to a specific location.” says Annette Bening.

“Yes. Something like that. But…you have to use music. I’m not sure why. …I wonder if that’s the only way Satan knows how to do it.” says Lacey. “Maybe he only knows music and there are actually other ways to do it.”

“So…the Kennedys-“ says the CIA.

A psychic is laughing. “I’m sorry. If what she’s saying is true…I wonder if God drowned the Egyptians as a joke. Because they were so obsessed with water. And they were evil.” She cracks-up. “But I bet those were quick deaths. Aww. …I truly think she’s Scotia if there’s reincarnation.”

6 Underground by Sneaker Pimps plays.

“So…the Kennedys…isolated her. Thinking it would teach God a lesson?” says the CIA.

“Yup. And Lacey.” says the CIA. “And…make Lem and her ultimately madly in love with them.”

“Wow!

Aww.

*snicker*

So…if she’s reincarnated that explains why Jack was sleeping with Satan.

That song only makes sense…for a teen drama…if your parents love you. Or other older adults do. …If they’re like Lacey’s parents…you have no power as a teen. At all. That power only comes from love. And the exhaustion of other people’s resources. …It’s not real power of their own yet. Evil isn’t actually sustainable.

Except…that’s not Lacey’s power.

She worships Christ. And if she’s Scotia…the creator of Scotland…an Egyptian princess…and dead Scottish aristocrat…Hypnotize is closer to her vibe. Compare those two songs and you find yourself laughing at 6 Underground. The only way that’s as scary is if you’re locked in a room as Norman Bates’s captive audience.

And…ironically…if there’s an Illuminati…it opened the door.

I think Lacey was actually falling asleep. To 6 Underground. After hearing Jack sing it for the 300th time. When the Illuminati interrupted. …On behalf of Jack Kennedy.” says the CIA.

“He was such a gay man.

Lem…looks…dumb. You can tell it’s an act. And he looks…stupid. Like…sticking out his hips and trying to make his gut a woman’s belly. His chest feminine. …But…so obviously straight. Like he’s in a Jack Lemmon movie. Playing a girl.

But Jack…Jack looks…gay.” says the CIA. “That way he moves his body…is…sassy. Not pretentiously sassy. No. He’s for real.”

“Why are they killing us?” asks Iran days ago.

The pilot shrugs.

Gold Digger by Kanye plays as Jack Kennedy dances for Satan in 2020. He twirls and dips. Twerks. Break dances. Does a flip. Shakes his hips.

“NOOO!” scream millions of his white, American fans in horror. “NOOO!!!!” they wail. “NOT JACK KENNEDY!! He is straight!!!!” they say stupidly, falling as they run with arms flailing like white apes.

Start From Scratch by The Game plays as they try to explain to Lacey that she’s beneath them. Some cry as they literally fall on their faces.

Jack Kennedy bobs his head. It’s his second act.

Who Shot Ya? by The Notorious B. I. G. plays as Satan winks at Jack.

“What!??” says Jack. He looks confused.

Satan hints that it’s the song trying to give him a clue about his own fate. Satan is claiming it was him. Because God is forcing Satan to tell Jack.

JFK stares. Blinks. Laughs.

“Nah! That’s his story.

What’s yours?” alas JFK, trying to be seductive.

Big Ego’s by Dr. Dre plays.

And at that the helicopter loses control and falls.

Why?

Well…duh.

*Lacey rolls her eyes in exasperation.*

“Why don’t you kill me?” asks Tsar Putin.

“They’re too scared to.” says Lacey.

“You could kill me.” says China.

“Yeah!! Or…what about a nuclear war??” says a reader.

“Butch! Don’t call here!” says JFK to Satan. “That’s what we said to Marilyn.” He’s bragging to Satan.

“Yeah. She was sexy.” says Satan to Jack.

“Yeah!! I FUCK HER!” says Jack, shaking his ass. No. He’s not desperate. He feels he’s…on a roll.

“Why don’t you kill me?” asks China.

“Why!?” asks They.

“Because I’m starting to feel bad for Israel.” says China.

“Well…They ain’t dying! Nah! They rich…bitch.” says Lacey, jokingly to China.

“What if we just let them ruin themselves?” says China to Lacey.

“Can you sustain it?” asks Lem.

China thinks. “Yeah! You’d all starve and freeze without us.”

“Or die in some other way.” says Lacey.

“Yes!!” yells Tsar Putin.

“But it’s a lie.” says Lacey.

China smiles. “Actually…it is. That’s how Donald Trump sees it too.

But…it’s just true.

It’s an illusion.

…How will it fracture?”

And at that they all die.

“Probably by region.” says Dennis Anderson.

“There’s no way we destroyed the US.” says Joe Kennedy Junior, in denial.

“In DE NILE.” says a dead man, laughing.

What’s The Difference plays.

And at that Satan erases Jack’s memory to let him believe they’re in love and had sex. “Yuck!” says Satan. “Lem. You’re a dumbass. …Oh wait! Lacey wasn’t there! …Except…eww. WHY?!? He’s so fucking gross!”

“You were in love with Lacey.” says Lem to Satan.

“Well no shit!

Why? I’m asking you a question.” says Satan.

Jacob and the Stone (slowed) by Emile Mosseri & Sped-up + Slowed plays.

“I felt sorry for him.” says Lem. “And I thought it was wrong to kill him.”

“Why?” asks Satan.

“I assumed he had emotions he didn’t have. I assumed he had depth he didn’t have. …Like a poor lost kitten. Who needed love.” says Lem.

“Because he was scrawny.” says Satan.

“Yes. And ugly. Kinda. And everyone hated him.” says Lem. “And it was my job to be his champion.”

“But you hated him too.” says Satan. “Right?”

“Yeah. Especially when I tried to love him. …I didn’t like him either. But…I felt sorry for him.” says Lem.

“Why did he deserve that?” asks Satan.

“There wasn’t anyone else there to take care of like that and no one else made me.” says Lem.

“But you could have.” says Satan.

“Yeah. But they weren’t making me. And…I felt sorry for him. I thought he was…sad. And rejected.” says Lem.

“Aww!! Just like Lacey actually is. IN REALITY.

Except nobody is there for her at all.

Good Morning, Midnight by Johann Jóhannsson plays.

So you thought he was psychologically like Lacey? Or you thought he was…something uniquely himself that was sad…and lonely…and in need of friendship? Just like you?” says Satan. “See! I’d never make that mistake! I’d never be so STUPID!! …I’d never give myself to anyone so worthless. And I’d never…let anyone else have her.”

“I didn’t realize how bad off Jack was.” says Lem.

“The whole damn time?!?” scoffs Satan.

A Song for Europa by Johann Jóhannsson plays.

“Yes. Or I eventually killed him.” says Lem.

“How did you not notice!??” scoffs Satan.

“Because everyone is human.” says Lem. “Right? And I made excuses. Not to make him great but so I could have love for him as a person, not a lover. I made a mythology in my head.”

“REALLY!?” says Satan.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“That’s inexcusable.” says Satan. “She loses love for you. Right there.”

The Drowned World by Johann Jóhannsson plays.

“Why!?” Lem begs Christ.

Satan looks sad. “Because she’s alone. …No one loves her, Lem.

And…she’s an author. She’s a writer. …Some writers have an ability to see life itself 3D, like a map. It’s a gift. And she’s one of them. So was Scott.

And they aren’t happy people, oftentimes.

She’d never make that mistake. Not about a would-be lover. Never. …I’m in love with her. But I’m Satan. So she knows better.” says Satan.

“What about Chris Dodds?” asks Lem.

“She’d of secretly despised him. And eventually…she’d of left.” says Satan.

“I fall in love with writers sometimes…” says JP Kennedy, sadly.

“And I am one.” says Harold Loeb.

“Well. Now what Lemmers?” says Hemingway.

“So I seem like an uppity loser compared to Satan.” says Jesus, about Lacey (?).

“My God. It really does look like Satan kicked God’s ass in regard to Lacey. Big time.” says a dead woman. “And I bet part of how he did that was by actually falling in love with her.”

“Well I don’t care.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “I’m not impressed. He should try loving Zelda.”

“I WOULD NEVER!” says Satan. “And you know why!? Because she’s shit compared to Lacey.” He laughs. “See. I can just say it. I don’t have to kiss peasant ass, like you LEMMING.”

“No. I’m not…as great of an author as Scott Fitzgerald. Even if I’m a genius at writing, actually.

But…I’m an idiot compared to Lacey then. I’m just an idiot.” says Lem. “Not completely. But maybe in that way…I’m just an idiot.”

“BUT I’M NOT!” yells Satan.

“So am like you? Is there reincarnation?” asks Lem. “Because we’re equals if there is. Actually…I was possibly more powerful than you. …So was she. Your power…our power…derived from God. We have and had nothing otherwise. So…why did you fall?

And if you hadn’t fallen…would she prefer me or you?” asks Lem.

“Lem. That’s just it.

I can’t STAND YOU. …You have so damn much. And if there’s reincarnation you had so damn much. …So…why throw it all away? For THAT!?” says Satan to Lem pointing at JFK, who’s frozen in time.

“No. He meant to help Africa.” says Lacey.

“If there’s reincarnation, yes. I did.” says Lem. “It was a goodwill mission. You know that, Satan. If there’s reincarnation I meant to save Africa.

God…if we’re not completely typical…and there’s reincarnation…and I’m honorable and I love her…and…if Satan hadn’t fallen…would she prefer him over me now?” says Lem to God.

“No.” possibly says God. “But I’d see Satan’s irritation.”

“What IN HELL did you tell yourself?” asks Satan.

The Radiant City plays.

“I told myself he was…a rat face.

Because he actually does really resemble a rat. People have tried to hurt Lacey by calling her names like dog face or telling her she looks like a snake because of her high cheekbone. But she doesn’t. He actually did.

The Burning Mountain plays less than half way through the last song.

He was scrawny and knock-kneed. And he…was…rude and disrespectful and…he didn’t want to work as hard as Joe had at Choate. He was often lazy compared to Joe, and possibly less intelligent despite whatever Harvard or whoever it was said.

He wasn’t…lovable. But I had ideals that made me think he could be saved. If only someone took the time to really love him. And I didn’t fall in love with him. I…tried to save him. Most of my life. …Or I killed him. …But, regardless, I didn’t see the problem. I don’t think I could imagine a human who couldn’t be saved…if given the chance. I had very naive ideas about humanity. I was a humanist. I believed in the power of love to make people good. Over time.” says Lem.

“Just…agape love?!?” says a reader.

“Well…I thought it was romantic. Even though it wasn’t. But that was my mistake. I didn’t know what love actually felt like. …So…I guess yes. In all actuality it was just agape love.” says Lem. “And that’s not possible.

Only God can transform us. And some people are…mentally ill or mentally handicapped.” says Lem. “Or just evil.

Jack was all of those.

I made jokes. Far too many jokes. I was suicidal my whole life. …And I either killed Jack or I felt like I’d ruined my only chance at redemption as a gay man. And I was a failure. Or I was sad that I hadn’t loved him enough.

Lacey…when would you have killed him? If you were me.” says Lem.

A Pile of Dust plays.

“When he threatened my life.” says Lacey.

“I said, ‘Calm down! Why do you want me to suck your cock so badly?’” says Lem.

“Huh. I’d of said, ‘I can’t suck your cock.’” says Lacey. “And then I’d of said, ‘You can stab me. But you’ll regret it, dumbass.’” says Lacey.

Jack laughs. “Why can’t you suck my cock? Pansy!?”

“Jack. I don’t know how.” says Lacey.

“You did it! To the other guys.” says Jack.

“No! I didn’t. That’s just a rumor.

How the Hell do you even do it!?” says Lacey.

Jack backs up and thinks.

Lacey stares at him for a moment.

“Girls do it all the time. But how the fuck do you even do it?” says Lacey, being Lem.

Jack slightly cries. Looks sad. Thinks.

They stand in silence.

And then since Jack threatened her life she puts him in a headlock out of the blue and then strangles him to death.

“It’s that simple.” says Lacey.

“That’s what I wanted!!” yells JFK at Lem. “I HATED MY LIFE!!!” He looks sad. “I was no good!!!” He weeps. “SHE ACTUALLY LOVED ME!!! She’d never suck my cock!! NEVER!!”

And yet he ceases to exist. If only temporarily.

“I just couldn’t kill him.” says Lem.

“Why?” asks Lacey.

“I think he betrayed you. After yelling that. Right?” says Lem. “Right?”

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“And it didn’t surprise you.” says Lem. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I was, slightly. A real loser is a loser. Only God can save us. But you can crack people. And if I was you I’d have destroyed him.” says Lacey.

“Yah. If that’s what you’re doing to the whole family right now…if there’s an Illuminati. You hold them hostage and drill holes in them, if necessary.” says Lacey. She thinks. “I’d have killed Joe. Joe Senior.”

“We’d never know them. If you were Lem.” says the CIA.

“We’d all be better off.” says Elliott Roosevelt.

“I can be your lover…forever…but…I’m lost…

As in, I’m lost. Not Harold Loeb.

Why is killing people okay?” asks Lem.

My Tears Are Becoming A Sea by M83 plays.

“The moment Eve ate that apple…I was given a right to break her neck or twist it off slowly if she came at me too much.” says Lacey. “She wants to fight? I’ll cut that whore to bloody pieces and enjoy it, the worthless wannabe cunt.”

“She wasn’t that evil.” says God.

“Oops. Sorry!” says Lacey. “Well. You get the idea. Right ol’ pal.” she says to God.

“I drowned humanity.” says God. “Except for Noah.”

“Okay. But then Jesus- Aren’t we living under grace?” says Lem.

“What if you don’t want evil?” says Lacey. “At all. And you’re being mercilessly attacked?”

“Yes. But…I didn’t understand that.” says Lem. “I assumed it was always wrong. Outside of war. Only in extreme circumstances. …I was naive. I watched spaghetti westerns. Not for men but because I liked them. …But I never quite connected the dots. …I never loved Jack at all.

People keep trying to make it happen. But unfortunately I’m Lem. I’m K. LeMoyne Billings…and I’m saying it was never real. I never loved him.

And no Scott. She doesn’t need or want to hear that. Maybe men do. …But she doesn’t. She just wants the truth. Women understand how people move on. Or make mistakes. Both men and women. …But…I actually really didn’t. …That’s all a misunderstanding or a lie.

I’m sorry.” says Lem.