(August 1st, 2024 – Morning)
“Chris…why did you dismiss what Lacey said about her family as unimportant?” says Lem.
“We knew about the oil. …It’s just…they’re being ripped off. They’ve only made $14 million at most. …The oil companies have made $200 million.” says Peter Thiel.
Mark Nesheim laughs. “Well…it’s worth it for them then.”
An Old Money woman smirks.
“You know…$14 million isn’t nothing.” says the CIA.
“Exactly!” says Mark Nesheim. “And it’s entirely passive income for us.”
“He’s right. We do all the work. They do nothing. …We shoulder the cost of everything.” says BP.
“Well when you look at it that way.” says a woman. “So they were already rich. This was just…a $14 million bonus.”
“Well…$14 million is nicer than that. But yes.” says Mark Nesheim.
“And they own the oil. There’s still a ton of it in their ground. Like hundreds of millions more for the oil companies. They just aren’t getting my out. Actually…it could be billions. But whatever. The point is…it’s their oil. We just don’t want it right now.” says BP.
“So how much more for them?” asks the woman.
“$100 million out of the ground.” says BP. “But this is a fake hypothetical because if we took all of that oil now and gave them $100 million the oil wouldn’t be worth $100 million.”
“Right.” she says.
“How much money does MSNBC generate in one year?” says Donald Trump.
“$300 million.” says Chris Hayes.
“So their oil…in one year…would hypothetically be worth 1/3 of all…MSNBC profits for a whole year. TO THEM. …And to the oil companies…their oil is worth 23 times…what your entire network is worth…all year…to us. …And…it’s so much oil…that it literally shifts the entire oil market. They have and do affect he price of heavy crude in the Middle East. Just with their farm. …Now…we aren’t going to drill it all out in a year. But…that’s how significant it is.” says BP.
“Was my family ever that significant?” alas JFK from 2017.
“No! Never. You were in positions of power. That you pushed your way into. But you never had that much innate influence. Never.” says the CIA.
“Now…if there’s an Illuminati nobody much notices. It’s hidden. Because it’s North Dakota and they’re very humble, private, quiet people. …But if there is an Illuminati…Diego ‘accidentally’ talking to her…using Illuminati witchcraft…was very dumb. …A. because we have no idea what these people are doing to affect things. Donald Trump could have easily won the first time because of her relative’s Republican values. …Without them even knowing. And…B. what if she’s not even their child biologically? What if she’s Tom’s daughter? …By talking to her…what are we doing!? …As narcissists you don’t understand who she really is. …If Lem was straight and Jack has been sadistically attacking her…it’s even worse. …It’s worse than Pandora’s Box. …And sacrificing her cousins and attacking her is only making it worse. …Why does and did that make sense to all of you?” asks Russia.
“Because we wanted to show her our superiority and strength.” says MSNBC.
“Oh! Like in Eyes Wide Shut?” says the CIA.
They look embarrassed in their spirits.
“So yes. You all got your idea what the Illuminati is and was…from a movie?” says a reader.
“I mean…” says an Asian woman who has associations with MSNBC.
“So yes? You’re all New Money…and have no idea what’s going on. So you based your idea of your role in the world…on Eyes Wide Shut.” says a reader.
They look awkwardly silent.
“Okay. So that’s a yes.” says the reader.
“How would you do it!? …They put you through rituals. And explain like…the religious history of our society. And our…ideals. But…things change over time. And…it’s not as…rigid as it used to be. So…a lot of us just kind of make up shit. Because…you have so many questions and they’re not answering them. And never have. Because…I guess they’re too busy? So… I mean there are like…a lot of people they’ve inculcated in the last 20 years. Not just in Hollywood but in the US Press. Because of Cable News. Right? So…it’s kind of disorganized. …And with New Age…being a thing…it’s even worse.” explains a famous woman on MSNBC.
Chris Hayes stares at her in his spirit.
“You promised me you wouldn’t tell her that.” he says.
“But Chris it’s dumb.” she says.
He cries. “I worked so fucking hard for my life.”
“Yeah. So did I.” she says.
He glares at her. “What!?”
“Chris…they already know!” she says.
“Not really.” he says.
“Chris $6 million isn’t enough to make me shut-up. It’s not oil. It’s not billions. It’s not even hundreds of millions enough. …There’s a war in Russia. It’s EXPENSIVE.” she says.
“So why wasn’t this obvious years ago?” says Lem.
“Because.” says MSNBC.
“Because why?” says Lem.
“They’re our pet.” says Kamala.
“It still makes no sense!” says Putin.
“Well we just thought…since Diego was so special to us…that…it was our duty to uphold the standard. And be his army of love.” says MSNBC.
“Yeah. Diego was our special guest.” says the DNC. “He brightened everyone’s day. You’d go to All In and he’d break into Spanish in the commercials as a joke. Right? Because he was a body double. And then he’d force you to get serious again for the next segment. And it just gave you the giggles. …It made going on Chris’s show fun. …Because you’d get to see Diego. … And he was handsome. …It was just…fun.” says an important woman from the DNC, fondly but with melancholy.
“Huh. …So…how did you envision this working out long-term?” says Putin.
“MSNBC stood with Diego’s memory. And so we stood beside them too.” says the DNC.
“Yeah. And so did my family.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.
“Bobby you and your family are so screwed-up. Just be quiet.” says the a CIA/DNC operative.
“Ahh…why not Bernie Sanders?” asks a Millennial woman, who’s reading.
“He’s not business friendly enough. To be honest.” said MSNBC. “Eyes Wide Shut. … Sometimes you have to deal with harsh realities. So…we ruined his chances.”
“So his candidacy was purposefully thwarted.” says the woman.
“Yup. Whatchu gonna do? Right?” says MSNBC. “We’re Liberal. But…not stupid.”
“I get that. Moderate. But…you’ve been heartless towards the Nesheims and Lacey. And the Ukrainian people.” says Putin. “You’re sacrificing them to make yourselves look competent.”
“Not really though.” says the woke French Olympics opening ceremony creator.
“Yeah. Are you this? Or are you French?” says Putin.
“She’s Diego’s friend. …We are all Diego’s friends.” very seriously says a woman who would for the DNC.
“Who is Diego?” says a reader.
“He’s a man Chris met on vacation. He looked a lot like him. …So much so that both he and Kate were stunned. So they started a conversation with him and asked if he’d like to come home with them eventually. …So he became Chris’s body double.
He was…Hispanic. But they gave him plastic surgery to look like Chris. On television, at least. If you saw him in person you’d see the resemblance…but you could tell he was someone else. But on camera…with makeup and lights and clothes and acting…it was extremely convincing. And they edited it. So Chris’s voice was used.
Chris would be in…California with his family on a real vacation…but it would look like he was in New York. …So it was safer. And Diego was our friend.” says a woman in the DNC.
“So how did they fix the voice?” asks a reader.
“They used his real voice. Sometimes they had him record most of it. And then they’d use a computer to generate the missing parts. Like AI generated people. Except he looked real…because of Diego. So…it was just really smart technology.” says the woman who worked with him in Los Angeles for three hours.
“So…Diego would…work as his body double.” says a reader.
“Chris…why are you only talking $6 million as your net worth?” asks a reader.
He looks confused. “Oh! Because we donate a lot to charity every year. It’s a choice Kate and I made.”
“Ahh…you’re aware of a lot of secrets though.” says a reader.
“Yah. …And I have a lot of power that way. But-“ says Chris.
“Chris! They’re ripping you off!” says a reader.
He looks confused.
“They are and have been ripping you off!” says a reader.
He looks very confused.
“No. I mean…we’re still upper class.” says his wife.
“Really though?” says an Old Money woman. “What’s the price of privacy and freedom?” she says. “To me you sound very…taken advantage of. …Sort of like a new…elite peasantry or elite middle class, to be honest.”
A reader nods. “Oh man! That’s true.” she says. “I’m only Instagram famous. But…it’s bad enough.”
“Well…$6 million is still $6 million. And I do have that knowledge of secrets.” says Chris.
“Mmm…yeah? But…Lacey’s cousin who models for NASA and is famous in Norway…is worth three times more.” says a reader.
“But she doesn’t donate to charity the way we do.” says Chris.
“No. Maybe not. …But she’s worth three times more.” says Ken, Lacey’s father-in-law.
“Yeah. I mean…you donate $12 million?” says a reader. “Or have donated $12 million?”
And Old Money reader laughs.
“No.” says Chris. “More like $5.” he says.
“Hey! So…if she donated $5 she’d still be supposedly worth more than you. By at least $2 million.” says Fox News. “$2 million is a mansion.”
A reader sighs. “That’s a nice net worth in and of itself l!” she says, rolling her eyes.
“Chris. …There’s a reason she brought up her family history.” says the CIA. “You were talking to her like she was…a descendant of desperate Irish immigrants. In New York City. Who raised their kids poor and then…never climbed out.
Uneducated. Slightly ugly. Disengaged. Disingenuous. …Stupid. …Lazy. WHY!??”
“Well…Diego told me she was annoying. And so I telepathically did snub her. …But that was based on Diego’s impression of her.” says Chris.
“Could he have been lying?” says the CIA.
“He was my best friend.” says Chris Hayes.
“Oh! Like Lem Billings?” says Roseanne.
“If you wanna know the truth? Yes! Yes, like Lem Billings.” says Chris. “Lots of queer men find that men provide a safe place. From everyone.”
“Better than men do for women?” asks the CIA.
“Ahh. Maybe? I don’t know. …Like men with men are better than heterosexuals?” says Chris.
“Yeah.” says Russia.
“Yeah? I mean…it’s like bro-code. But with sex.” says Chris.
“Huh.
That’s bullshit. …And I’m betting Lem was straight too.” says Donald Trump. “I seriously think we’re idiots. Okay? Because why do we assume fake mannerisms…dictate the sexual orientation of an individual? …Regardless whether it’s insanity or not…it’s gonna be something beyond a bunch of flamboyant mannerisms. …So if Lem seems straight…in a real sense…his mannerisms could easily be fake. …You have to deal with that reality.”
“No. Because we are…our mannerisms. …More than our souls? Like…okay- You can’t read something like that!” says a Liberal Democrat.
“What!?” says Germany.
“No. Like…be rational! …You can’t actually read someone’s soul. It’s just more mannerisms!” says the Liberal Democrat.
“Lena? Is this Lena?” says Donald Trump. “That’s psychologically untrue. …Because some of our mannerisms…are reactions. And those reactions stem from a deeper place within us than just our public persona.”
“That’s not true!” she says.
“You’re lying! You’re using demons of deceit!” says Donald Trump.
“They possess me. What do you expect!??” she says, almost crying.
“Dude. Why did you chose the demons of deceit? I chose the demons of excess. So much more friendly. …I just have a ridiculous handbag collection. And I don’t care about poor people. But…only to a certain degree. I’m mostly a decent person.” says a Republican famous person.
“Are you nice to your employees?” says Roseanne.
“Yes! …I just actively ignore all poor people. Like…I’d step on a homeless person. For real. But…I’d never lie to them.” she says.
“When I agreed to accepting the demon of deceit…over 10 years ago…as my Satanism-guide…I didn’t anticipate them being so…demonic. It’s bad.” she says.
“So why do you guys do this?” says a woman reading.
“Because the demons fight each other and leave us alone. And…while you’re alive you get lots of free power. Lots of spiritual perks. …And then…even if you go to Hell when you die…you apparently will be like…so happy.” she says.
“That’s utter bullshit.” says an Indian woman.
“Mm. No. I don’t think so!” she says.
“How can it not be stupid!??” says the Indian woman.
“Because!” she says.
“Because what!?” says the Indian.
“Ahh…there is no Hell. Duh!” she says.
“That’s not guaranteed.” says India.
“No. It’s impossible. People are too loving to ever need Hell. Hell is archaic. Humans are so much better than that.” she says. “And if you doubt that…then just go kill kids? Right? Because they’re awful.”
“Was that the demon saying that?” says India.
“No! It was me.” she says smiling.
“Kill kids?” says India.
All of MSNBC and herds of other cool-kid woke people laugh.
“I’m lost. Why was that funny?” says Brett.
“Because! It’s like…Lem was gay. Okay!? And…this conversation was a waste of time.” says a demon coming through an MSNBC journalist.
“Mmm. What’s with the killing kids?” says a woman.
“Ahh…” says Chris.
“Yes?” says Brett.
“Wow! You guys are such slow-minded losers!” says a woke person.
“Expand on that.” says Fox News.
“Expand!? How does that make sense? You mean explain.” they say.
“No. Expand on your ideas. About killing kids.” says Fox News.
“Oh!! Okay. Lots of diseases!!!” says demon, making their Liberal journalist jump in their seat.
“Huh. To kill kids or all of us?” says Brett.
“PEOPLE WHO MAKE PEOPLE CRY IF THEY DIE!!” says the demon, making the journalist’s eyes light-up in glee.
“Okay. So the joke you were all sharing was about human misery?” asks Brett.
“DUH!!” says a woke woman, annoyed.
“How is that cool?” asks Brett.
And at that Chris turns on a pre-recorded song. By Queen. And he and his co-worker dance. Impromptu.
“Why are you dancing?” asks the CIA.
They ignore them. Keep dancing.
“I’m missing your point!” says Brett.
“It’s simple. Our shit doesn’t stink.” says MSNBC. “Technically Lem could have been straight. And very awkward. Because he thought he was gay…and wasn’t. So he just seemed…almost creepy. Like…how some gay men act weirdly straight. Like too straight. …And that’s actually kind of creepy too. Come to think of it. …But…that’s okay. Because our sins aren’t real.”
“Why?” asks Brett.
“Because we don’t make mistakes.” says MSNBC and the DNC.
“Oh! That’s what your demons told you?” says Rupert Murdoch.
“Yeah! ….So…we have lied. And yeah. Lem could be straight. And sure…I guess she’s human and we’ve made ghastly errors. Her family is very important. …But…who cares. Okay? Because…our shit…just doesn’t stink.” They say, literally sprinkling glitter.
“Why?” says Alan Greenspan.
“Ahh…because:
1. We care about the environment
2. We care about minorities
3. We care about you
4. We proudly wave ‘the gay flag’
5. We are not just idiotic…cucks…who…are old fashioned and unsophisticated and uneducated like all of you.” says MSNBC and the DNC.
They dance.
“Why aren’t you all joining us?” says a child slave who’s then smacked into a wall and killed.
“YOU DIDN’T SAY IT RIGHT!? You LOSER!” says his or her psychopathic ward. They die.
Lacey sees them relieved to die.
“Oh! Oh! I get it. So…those are the kids you all want dead?” says a reader.
The They in the Liberal Elite look confused.
“Right?” says the reader.
“No! According to Satanism and our demons…we don’t care.
We don’t have to anymore. That’s ARCHAIC!” they say.
“It’s ARCHAIC…to CARE!?” says a reader.
“DUH!” says a woman who died on 9/11. “People blame the Bush family and Republicans. Why aren’t these people ever seen as dangerous?”
“Because we’re FUN. We eat the food truck tacos. We show our nipples. …We own the 30 Hermes bags. And don’t shave our pits. …And are RICH. …Billions. And…we let you have sex…when you’re in love. Not just because you’re legally married.” says MSNBC.
“Go on!” says a reader.
“We wear cool outfits. And have style. …And we understand you have emotional needs that are meaningful…even if we don’t give a shit about actually almost at all.” says MSNBC and the DNC.
“You use my spirit. CONSTANTLY.” says Lem.
“Yeah. And mine.” says Michael Rockefeller.
“Doesn’t surprise me.” says a witch in Salem.
“So…is that your spirit? Or what?” asks another Salem witch.
“No. It’s not. It’s the part of me that died while still being held hostage, so to speak. …So…because I never came out and…said something publicly…in my last year or two…you can still use my image. It’s sort of my spirit and sort of not.” says Lem.
“So…what does…it do?” asks the witch.
“Well…I was secretly straight.” says Lem. “So…”. He laughs. “Ahh…long term it’s self defeating. But…because I played into the hopes people in my generation had for America…it’s very charming and alluring to tap into temporarily.”
“So instead of using the Holy Spirit you’re using Lem Billings!?!” says a reader.
“Yeah. …So…he secretly meant a lot to Jack. But in a way that he didn’t reciprocate. So…it’s a tempting spiritual vibe. Because it’s like…you can be hurt…by narcissism…but not really. And it’s unclear why? But…somehow you feel…unaffected. So…you can use narcissistic people to make the world a better place. But not get hurt yourself. …And you feel like you care. …You just…can’t do everything you know?” says a woman in the Illuminati.
“How are we all feeling this!??” says a Salem witch.
“Because we used his spirit. …He was very meaningful to the gay community. And so…starting in the late 1990’s…but even before that…the Illuminati worshiped him. And spoke his spirit as a presence over all of us. In America.” says an Illuminati witch. “Or something like that.”
“No. This is possible! And it’s especially fascinating if there’s reincarnation.” says an Old Money woman. “But what does that do?”
“If he was straight like he seemingly says he was?” says MSNBC.
“Ahh…” they look blank. Blink.
“Umm…” says a man shrugging.
Great Britain laughs.
“Huh. So…Lem what happened to you?” says an Old Money woman.
“When I was dying?” he says.
“Yeah.” says Kate.
“I hated my life. I was…suicidal. I…felt I honestly had no reason to live.” says Lem. “Ahh…I was full of nonsense most of my life. So…the spirit you’re using and have used…is nothing but bullshit insofar as what…you say you’re doing. So…you’ll likely sense that. Or…you’ll find yourself…escaping to some sort of repressed real inner truth.” says Lem.
“Oh! Like Donald Trump.” says the GOP.
“Bingo!” says Lem.
“So…you’re using him to replace the Holy Ghost!??” says a Salem witch.
“YUP. For a while.” says an Illuminati psychic.
“So…that could account for Donald Trump. The Tea Party. QAnon. …Birthers. Black riots. And the opiate epidemic!!!!!” says a Salem witch. “Lem you were addicted to opiates?”
“Yes.” says Lem.
The Salem witch laughs. “Wow. …Umm…so…we’re all totally harassed by the impending sense that we’re frauds.”
“Yup.” says Lem.
“So you were straight.” says an Illuminati witch. “And Bobby and the other Kennedys and lots of delulu gay men…assumed you were gay.”
“Yeah.” says Lem.
“So…we have no…chance.” says the Salem witch.
“None!” says Lem. “Look…it’s not that it’s all bad necessarily. It’s that…it isn’t what you think.
So…let’s say a 20-something straight guy tapped into my spirit spread out over the US by…ignorant or deluded gay men…through the Kennedys…and the gay male ascending power…and this young man felt good at first. Like…a bizarre feeling of being wealthy, and Old Money by birth…and…loved…and maybe even handsome…but he didn’t and couldn’t consciously label his feelings as any of that. So…he just feels good. Good about himself. Hopeful about his choices.
But then he gets…depressed. Why? When? …In downtown Minneapolis. At a bar. A bar Lacey went to with her legal husband Mark. Because I feel bad there. And then he sees something that triggers a bad memory from childhood of his stepfather abusing him mentally. So…he’s assuming that’s why he’s depressed. Because he doesn’t know any better.
…That night he tries Percocet for the first time. As a drug. Not a pain reliever. And he can’t…shake his impending addiction. Because he feels too lost in a sea of confusion and despair when he’s sober. And he assumes it’s be of his own childhood pain. But…it’s actually my spirit…STUPIDLY used. By a bunch of dummies and the tragically ignorant.” says Lem.
“I never put two and two together and realized your relationship made no sense.” says David Pitts. “Or I’m lying. And I made up stuff to get the money.”
“But you tried to be scholarly.” says a Liberal.
“Yeah. In a way. …But…there is common sense. And…I could have realized that Red Fay’s comment was very odd. …Or I could have wondered how in Hell Lem maintained feelings for Jack given Jack’s huge narcissistic personality disorder. But…I chose to be…foolish and play dumb. You know? Like…’Maybe he just did?!’ …But…it’s impossible for someone not to feel burned and hurt and angry after what Jack put Lem through if Lem felt something for him. It’s completely impossible. …Humans can sustain deep love long-term but only if it’s openly reciprocated at least somewhat. You can’t really love someone without reciprocation long-term. Maybe a decade. Or a little longer. But…it fades. It just does. That’s how it works.
Jack never openly reciprocated. At least not in any way that counts. It was all too secretive. And Jack had numerous other open love affairs with lots of people, probably even some men. …For Lem to not care…is impossible. If Lem was straight it’s possible but not otherwise. And there’s no evidence of Lem really caring. A few nothing glares means very little. Given what Jack did he should have been having full on mental breakdowns repeatedly if Lem was attracted to men.” says David Pitts. “And he wasn’t. There are no mental breakdowns. And he isn’t resentful as he should have been either.”
“YES! Russians understand this part of love. …It’s funny. But it’s true. …Wounded people who once loved are…common in Russian art. Resentment. Hatred. Revenge. …But…there’s nothing like that while Lem is alive. Unless you can say him letting those kids get addicted to drugs is revenge? …But…those aren’t Jack’s kids. And…it’s too far into the future. The idea would have been to hurt Jack. He never did.” says Putin.
“So the Illuminati…if it exists…spread his spirit all over the US. When?” asks a perfume collector.
“In 1970?” says a witch.
“It was to honor him. Because he was such a nice man. …By a gay man in the Illuminati who…didn’t help him…but…admired him. And felt that Lem should be left to overdose and join Jack in the ether. But that we should all be so…giving.” says an Illuminati wizard.
“GIVING!??” says an angry Millennial.
“Yeah. He felt…that Lem’s love for Jack was profound.” says the wizard.
“Jack was a narcissist.” says another Millennial.
“Yes. But that was 1970. …Narcissism wasn’t a common term used back then. Okay? So…he just assumed Lem was able to give an extraordinary amount of mysterious love to Jack. And that we should all be more like that.” says the wizard.
“So gullible…taken advantage of…and overly trusting of narcissists. And yet secretly all suicidal at the same time.” says Kurt Cobain.
“He didn’t know that.” says the Illuminati wizard.
“How did he think the relationship worked?” asks a Gen. Z man.
“He didn’t realize relationships had to be two-sided and mutually beneficial. He felt they could be one-sided and…that that’s what made them so cool. So…he had almost no experience personally being taken advantage of by narcissists. There were fewer narcissists back then. But he felt like…Lem’s sacrificial love was…profound.” says the wizard.
“So he was an idiot.” says a Republican.
“Well…no. He was likely a very intelligent man. Very wealthy too. …But…he didn’t have a clue how awful being abused and used by a narcissist was. He just assumed Lem was…magically and mysteriously able to keep giving astounding love. …To Jack. And he found that very touching. …He believed Lem loved Jack more than Jesus loved us.” says the wizard.
“And I argued with him!” says Eunice Kennedy Shriver. “Jesus was real.”
“Did you?” says the wizard.
“Yup!” she says. She scoffs. “You can’t steal that from people!” she says.
“But…why? Oh! No. Because you too felt Lem had a profound love for your family and brother?” asks the wizard.
She looks offended. “Yes!!”
“Okay. Thank you for sharing that, Eunice.” says the wizard.
She’s carried away by angels. She was trying to alter the conversation because it was scaring her.
“So…he didn’t realize Lem was hurting?” asks a Gen. Z woman.
“No! …He assumed Lem was magically able to not get hurt.” says the wizard.
An Old Money woman laughs.
“Was he New Money?” asks NBC.
“Mostly.
But…he was not aware of how human emotions work in relationships regardless.” says the wizard.
“So he gave the US ‘a spirit of Lem’ because he felt Lem was more loving than Jesus?” says a reader. “Was any of that subconsciously because Lem was actually straight?”
“Yes.” says the man himself, should this be fact. “I think I felt he was accepting. And given his natural heterosexuality it was…so nice. You know? Like…I’ll not only accept your secret homosexuality but I’ll also give you my love…as best I can. If you want me. …And Lem was hot. Not like some men. But hot. …So…- And he was so humble too. And well-bred. So…it was…so loving feeling.”
“Did you think actual straight men could turn gay?” asks a Scottish comedian.
“Yes.” he admits.
“So you thought you were choosing homosexuality?!” says a singer.
“On some level. Yeah? But…I couldn’t figure out how. I think I just thought I had superior tastes. And somehow I knew more about sex and love and life than straight men.” he says.
“So you were an arrogant fool?” says Fox News.
“Yeah.
That’s not something I would ever have admitted to while alive. But yeah.” he says.
“I really doubt it’s a choice.” says a gay man alive today.
“Yeah. But…I preferred to think otherwise. And I…also…assumed people would have to be choosing that. Because how could anyone be born gay!?” says the man.
“But they could be if it’s a mental illness.” says Freud.
“Yes. But I didn’t think I was mentally-ill.” he says.
“Okay…so…you assumed it had to be a choice then. Huh.
Umm…so it’s not. But…okay. We’ll just have to clean up you mess now.
…Are you a fashion designer or Truman Capote or who?” says a gay man.
“I refuse to tell you.” he says.
“Cool!” says a Salem witch. “Let’s move on.”
“So…I didn’t realize Lem was suffering.” he says.
“Oh really!?” she says.
“No. He was always so cheerful.” he says.
“Right.” says a Salem witch.
“So I just assumed he was…addicted to drugs…and suicidal over Jack…but…if we just let him die…he’d be happy.” says the gay man from 1970 who knew Lem and was in the Illuminati if it existed.
“But he was suffering?” asks the Salem witch.
“Yes! He was in an incredible amount of emotional pain. …But I just assumed he missed Jack.” he says.
“What else was he sad about?” asks the Salem witch.
“He felt like a failure at life. …And he even said that. But…I chose to ignore him. Because I assumed he just missed Jack.” says the gay man from 1970.
“What does him feeling like a failure at life have to do with missing Jack?” says David Pitts in the future.
“Well…it wasn’t clear. But I assumed it had to have something to do with it. Because we all wanted to believe he loved Jack.” says the gay man from 1970.
“I see. …What would happen if he didn’t?” she says.
He thinks. “Lem was…cold. Not mean. But cold.”
“So…not your friend.” says Pete.
“Not necessarily. But…certainly not someone I’d trust. …Like a lot of queer men I had an innate distrust for straight men.” he says. “It’s maybe a learned thing? Whatever it is…I would have felt…uncomfortable.”
“So you chose to assume he was really gay. Not just totally fucked-up mentally?” asks a Scottish comedian. “See…I act gay. Slightly. But…my voice sounds straight-ish. And…if you really listen it’s gay. But…few people can detect it.
My guess is that Lem was my opposite. …Here’s the thing: I’m…not straight. And…I announce that. But…if I didn’t…I’d be offensive. Because I’m so subtle. …Would you, as a gay man, have found Lem offensive?”
“Yes. Although it makes me angry to admit that.” he says. “Even now.”
“Why!?” says a Salem witch, worried because chaos just broke out after he said that. As if demons started to panic.
“Because I don’t want it to be true.” he says. “It’s a lot easier to hate Lacey than to admit Lem was offensive.”
“Why hate Lacey!?” she says.
“Because she figured it out.” he says.
“No! Lem told her.” says the Salem witch.
“Her needs bother a lot of people I was friends with. We’d rather she didn’t exist at all.” he says.
“But her needs are connected to Lem’s needs.” says the Salem witch.
“We can’t accept that.
I hear what you mean. But…we have a hard time accepting that.” he says.
“Why?” says the Salem witch.
“Because then we didn’t really know Lem.” he says.
“You did in a way. …But you ignored him. To be honest. And used him.
So…
What exactly did you think was going on?” she says.
“That Lem had magically actually loved Jack.” he says.
“Yeah. That’s impossible.” she says.
He blinks. Thinks. “We didn’t want to lose Jack. Because…that was our way to feel…meaningful. Okay? Kind of like Chris and Diego. Okay?
So…our lives felt hollow. But…if Jack was…lovable, as in not a self-destructive malignant fool…we’d be…valuable too. Because his aesthetic, his vibe, his…premise…his brand…was us. Essentially. …Not true Old Money. Not…Republican. …Something new. New money. Tomorrow. The future. Stuff like that. Space. So…we were…a part of his legacy. And…so…believing Lem was real…and not just disturbingly confused…was important.
We needed him to be real. Not complicated. Not really complicated. Just…unique and cool.” he says.
“But really!? Everything points to Lem being gay.” says Altman.
“No. It doesn’t. And Red Fay wondered too.” says Bill Gates.
“That’s not what he meant.” says Altman.
“No. That’s impossible. We can’t be mind readers. …That’s pseudo-intellectual bullshit. …We have to read what he actually says. And what he says isn’t a clear statement in favor of him thinking Lem was gay at all. Matter-of-fact it’s the total opposite.” says Bill Gates.
“Fine. …More bullshit.
…Here’s my question: Why didn’t People and The Advocate…not think through their pseudo-intellectual beliefs more in regard to this issue? …You can’t assume that much. And Sally and her coercive tactics to get us to believe Lem was was super gay not just gay. And sadder than Ethel. …Is she pure evil!? I mean…come on!
….Why? Why did you all believe this made sense?” asks Altman.
“Are you asking me that?” asks the man who was gay in 1970.
“Yeah.” says Altman.
“Because we’re dumb. In that way. I guess.
…We didn’t anticipate this ever coming out.” he says.
“Well…and you might have not even fully realized it.” says Altman.
“Yeah.
So…we just didn’t think anyone would ever know.” says the man who was gay in 1970.
“But that’s stupid. That’s actually really stupid.” says Altman.
He looks uneasy. “Yeah. I know.”
“Because it’s a facade. And facades in cases like this are dangerous. Because they’re hiding something.
…Sally was a fool. But…I don’t think she thought it would ever matter.” says Altman.
“She made the same mistake we did.” says George Bush. “In thinking of it as an Earthly thing. Entirely of the past.” He thinks. “And that’s true regardless of whether or not we had anything to do with JFK’s assassination or not.”
“Because who would her pronouncement hurt? Calling Lem the saddest Kennedy widow. Yeah…” says a living gay man. “Well…she wanted in on the Kennedy action. Because you use her name now.”
“Yeah. It’s that. That’s why we ignored Lem’s heterosexuality.” says the gay man from 1970.
“Okay. What did he do that was straight. That you ignored?” asks a gay Scottish comedian.
“He subscribed to Playboy.” says the gay man from 1970.
The gay Scottish comedian holds back laughter.
“Why…why…would a gay man…subscribe to Playboy!?” says the Scottish comedian.
“For years.” says the gay man from 1970. “Yeah. He collected them. …We just assumed it was something sentimental to do with Jack. Or a pretend thing? To look straight.”
“Okay. But still…” says the Scottish comedian. “Did he ever read them!?”
“Yeah. He read them. …But…I assumed he didn’t like the pictures.” says the gay man from 1970.
“Oh wow. Okay. That’s…a huge assumption.” says the Scottish comedian. “What else?”
“He ate well. But…cooking bored him. So he ate out a lot at diners. And had a very messy kitchen. …And there was something about it that seemed straight. I’m sorry.
He also had a high-pitched laugh but…it was…also guttural in a straight way. And the guttural was more authentic, if you will.
Ahh…he was very cagey. About his…sexuality. And he wanted to be thought of as gay, but he didn’t discuss it and…I felt in my gut…that he either slept with female prostitutes…or something. …But I didn’t think that was any of my business. So…I always dropped it.
I’m not sure who the people are who think they can speak to his actual orientation for sure are, but I think I know. And it’s…so unlikely they know. …He was very private. I’m not sure how they pulled it out of him if they did…and I suppose that’s silly to say anyway because he was straight. But…even if he wasn’t…how could they have done that!? …He confided in me plenty. …How did they have that discussion with him!? That’s so unlikely. …No.
No…I think they made it up. To get into Wikipedia. Or something. Or to control the narrative. Or appease someone. Because…I think they had the conversations I did. …And I’m those conversations he never said, ‘I’m gay.’ in any way. …He was…openly trying to date men. Men he’d meet dancing or at parties. And the like. You know? …But…it never went well. …And…no. He didn’t like to openly discuss it…but he’d still say, ‘I’m going out with Tony tonight.’ or something. You know? But…he never flat out said he was gay. …And people are more complicated than that. So…I’d never have felt comfortable discussing his actual orientation either. Even if I actually did assume he was gay.” says a gay man from 1970.
“So assumed he was gay. On the one hand. …But…you had enough reservations to not discuss it.” says Pete.
“Yeah. Something like that.” he says.
“Makes sense. …And you took time and the supernatural to be linear, for lack of a better way to describe your limitations.” says Pete.
“Yeah. In a way.” he says.
“So who cares if you got it wrong?! Because…town was moving forward at top speed.” says Pete.
“Yeah. Damn all that…complicated stuff to Hell. Let’s get shit done. Right!? On to the future!” he says.
“How many of you were delulu?” asks Pete.
“Hundreds. Literally.” he says.
“So…nobody could have known that.” says a reader.
“It’s impossible in principle anyway. For a totally platonic friend to truly know that. …But…- Even some exes might not know for sure. But…in his case…yeah. It’s just dumb to me that Wikipedia included that as factual information. It’s not. And Red Fay’s statement was misconstrued malignantly. And it’s evil.” he says.
“Who are these friends from the 1970’s?” says Pete.
Later.
“Someone close to the Kennedys or one of them.” he says.
“Yeah. It’s kinda obvious.” says Pete.
“So why don’t you worry for real that Lem was straight?” he says.
“Yeah. That is dumb.
But this is worse case scenario. Right?” says Pete.
“No! Actually…there could easily be some ultra conservative people who figure it out. Not necessarily on this blog. But on their own. With all the narcissistic information out today and homosexuality being so openly discussed…I can’t help but wonder if it’s possible. Okay!? Some…group of angry white Gen. Z young men. Who all want revenge.
What would they do? …Probably target Bobby Kennedy Junior and his brother Joe. Stuff like that.” he says.
“Especially if they have experimented with homosexuality themselves and are angry about it. If they were straight.” he says.
“FUCK!” says a man who’s scared.
Later.
“Oh my god. I’m so happy. …I just realized your full of shit and hate gay men.” says “queer” man laughing.
“Who?” says Lem.
“Lacey.” he says.
“Then who am I?” says Lem.
“I don’t know!” he say.
“Why would you automatically assume I’m not Lem?” asks Lem.
“Because she’s obviously just a hateful Cheerleader for the the Christian right!” he says, laughing and rolling his eyes. “Look…I don’t care if she’s fucking you. Whatever you are. Because I’m loving. …But…her hypocrisy stinks.” he says.
“I’m Lem.” says Lem.
“Why do gay people assume the whole damn world revolves around them?” asks Candace Owens.
“What!? How!? How am I assuming that!?” says the gay man, as if he’s a long-suffering, good-hearted martyr for a very…very…just cause.
“Because you have that attitude. I’ve seen lots of you suddenly bragging online like Christianity doesn’t matter after the Paris Opening Ceremony.” says Candance Owens.
“Well Christianity is evil so.” he says.
“Do you want to kill all Christians?” asks Candace Owens.
“Ahh! Like before they kill me!?” he says, laughing.
“Ahh…no. Just killing us.” says Candace.
He grins. I’m
“No. They are self-righteous pricks.” says a trans woman. “I’m serious. A lot of you all are obnoxious.”
“Thank you!” says Candace.
“I get it. But dude. …You make us sound so lacking in self-awareness.” say a trans woman.
“How am I lacking in self-awareness?” he says softly to her.
“Oh! Are we best friends?” she says. “Why are you being noticeably nicer to me? It’s creepy. Are we in some Satanic alliance?”
“We are in an alliance. But to be honest I don’t think it’s Satanic.” he says.
She smirks. “You know…you assume way too much of me though. …I’m sorry. …You need me. But…I feel used sometimes. …Look…I’m a straight woman. And…to be honest…I feel bad for Lacey in a way I don’t for you. …Do you think I’m a real woman or not?” she says.
He thinks. “Yeah.”
“Right. …So…what if…I relate to her struggle of being hot…but…different. And guys wanting to be with you…maybe even use you to look good. But not fall in love with you. …She’s old. I’m trans. But…men are damn picky. And they have a right to be. Right? But…you’re actually really far more alienating than you realize. I’m sorry.” she says. “A lot of gay men are economically privileged too. So…be careful. Because you all are starting to seem obtuse and privilege-blind. It’s 2024. Not 1950. You’re not a hero right now, dude.”
“Actually…yeah. Why do you assume Christians are so…automatically hateful? I’m a Christian.” says Pete Buttigieg.
“Did you find the Olympic Opening Ceremony offensive?” says Lacey.
“I did. …I’m not going to say that publicly. But yeah. Both Chasten and I did. …And we didn’t appreciate the ménage a trois anymore than Lacey did either.” says Pete Buttigieg.
A Republican nods his head. “It wasn’t cool. But they think it is.”
“Yeah. Exactly. …But I’m a politician. So I have to be smart.” says Pete.
“Well…I felt welcomed.” says the gay man.
“How? Because Christianity was the butt of the joke? That’s pathetic. Why are we still so petty and weak? And evil?” says Pete.
“Dude! Shit. Shut-up.” says a Liberal white straight guy.
“No! It’s nice to be honest! …As a Christian I actually found it offensive.” says Pete. “I’m a Christian first and a gay man second. My faith is my faith.”
“Doesn’t the hatred in the Christian community bother you?” asks the gay man.
“Look who’s letting me say this. Publicly. …How’s that hateful? It’s not an endorsement of homosexuality…but she’s trying to be Godly.” says Pete.
The angry gay man looks pouty.
“Yeah. Well. …Most Christians are hateful.” he says.
“Not necessarily.” says Pete.
“Come on!” says another gay man.
“Don’t try to bully me into be anti-Christian.” says Pete.
“Do you all want to kill us?” says Candace Owens.
“I don’t.” says Pete.
“Do you all?” she says to the other two gay men.
“I think they like feeling like heroes. And victim-martyrs.” says Lacey. “It’s their identity.”
“Nowadays everyone gets bullied. We aren’t special anymore. And actually…lots of other groups are targeted far more. Actually…Christians are targeted too. The opening ceremonies really were shit.” says Pete.
“So…you feel targeted as a Christian right now more than as a gay?” says the angry man.
“Yeah! ….Because why can’t I enjoy the Olympics?!! Why can’t Lacey? Why are adults with…a sense of right and wrong and decency and a conscience…being alienated from watching the OLYMPICS!? …That’s very depressing. …The Olympics aren’t just for hateful, vengeance-seeking, Liberal queers.” says Pete. “They’re actually not the majority. …So why cater to them?”
“So you actually felt alienated?” says the angry gay man.
“YES! Why wouldn’t I!? What planet are you all living on!? …I moved past 24. I’m a married, happy, father of two. I’m middle-aged. Why…would I like that!?” says Pete. “Am I perpetually a horny single gay to you all?”
“To be honest…I kind of agree. And I’m not allowed to say that anywhere else either.” says Gavin Newsom.
“Okay.” says the angry gay man.
“Yah. If homosexuality is allowed in Heaven and not just pure evil…then to be honest it was a creepy, archaic ceremony.” says a straight Liberal man.
“So you’d take out the drag show mocking Christianity. Because okay. I’m gonna stop gaslighting. That’s what it was. *he rolls his eyes* …And the ménage a trois. But what about Lady Gaga?” he says.
“Is she a real performer and artist or just a gay mascot?” says Lacey.
“Yeah! Or is she just a stupid Satanist symbol?” says Pete.
“No. She’s a real artist.” says the angry gay man.
“Then what of it?” says Lacey.
“She was risqué.” he says.
“Oh my God! REALLY!?” says Pete.
“She has sexuality because she’s human and an adult. There’s nothing odd about that. But I don’t think she was inappropriate.” says Lacey.
“Yeah. I didn’t think so either.” says Chasten.
“Okay.” says the angry gay man.
“So why do you assume I’m not Lem?” asks Lem.
“I’m honestly worried he’s Lem.” says Pete.
“So you can tell in your spirit?” he says to Lacey.
“Yes.” she says.
“You know…I can’t tell if you’re rejecting me…or just…distant.” he says to Lacey. “And I assume distant and hate you.”
“Most men assume that.” says a straight Millennial. “Except we add attraction to it.”
“So we’re making the same assumptions.” says the gay man.
The straight man nods.
“Why can’t we tell she’s not rejecting us?” asks the straight man.
“Even if she was…doesn’t mean it’s not Lem. Or that anti-Christian rhetoric isn’t dangerous. …If you all want to start the Second Coming of Christ we can do that. …But Pete might not join you. Because I’d rather he marry Chasten and raise his kids with Christ, no pedophilia, no hatred, no…lack of empathy…lots of evil to denounce… And be a good father. And love God. Than join you. You scare me. You all do.” says Donald Trump.
“Yeah. But saying that…we can’t be too conservative or we lose your support so.” says a Democrat gay man.
“So I seem like a heartless ideologue?” says the angry gay man.
“Are you? Do you want to kill Christians?” asks Candace Owens.
“I do.
I actually do.
I hate Christians.
I’m being honest.
…That being said…I can’t do that. A. because they’d die. And I’m not a complete sociopath. And B. I don’t want to bother.” he says.
“So you’d kill Christian parents? If they offended you too much?” says Charlie Kirk.
“No. But I’d like to. Christians are annoying.” he says.
“Are we?” says Pete.
“Do you hate the religion…and use your homosexuality as an excuse? Or do you hate what we’ve traditionally done at our worst to you?” says Candace Owens.
He thinks. “I can’t answer that.”
“Why!?” says Charlie Kirk.
“Because!” he says, laughing. “I know a lot of Tanzanian People who feel really alienated right now. By Christianity. And my sympathies rest with them. Above all else.” he says dramatically, like a prince among men.
“Lem wasn’t gay. I doubt he was gay at all. But you’re a jerk!” says Charlie Kirk.
“You would say that.” the angry gay man scoffs.
“Are you a real person or an SNL character?” says a female comedian.
“I’m an SNL character. Actually….I’m a dead man who was gay. …And I knew a lot of men like this. And they’re really annoying. …Lem was straight. And….I’m just tired of seeing Lacey get hurt.” he says.
Pete nods. “So these are real reactions. Just not from you.”
“Exactly.” he says.
“Why are we like that!?” says Pete.
“Narcissistic people who are gay…are like this. They see themselves as heroes. …And they often don’t realize how out of touch they are. Drag shows are inappropriate for kids. No question. But…narcissistic people can’t handle that.” he says.
“Why?” says Pete.
“Pedophilic people who lack a conscience. And don’t have a sense of right and wrong. Or who feel entitled to rape and molest whoever they want. Monsters. …And narcissists in general. …They…either want to harm kids…and adults because they’re malignant or sadistic…or they’re trying to get approval. Because they can’t handle being considered different. They want to be Lacey. And be a Charlotte York, Old Money byotch.” he says.
“WHY?” says Lem. He didn’t know whether or not this guy was fake or real.
“Because…they feel…middle class.” says the man. “Sincerely. I think it’s a class thing. I think the Opening Ceremony was a class thing.”
“How?” says a French woman.
“Because…it’s meant to garner the likes of bourgeois people. But…alienate everyone else other than evil people.” says the man.
“Why?” says Pete.
“I don’t know. I can’t help but wonder if it’s a political test.” he says. “Like…a way of seeing where the public actually is. Based on their reactions. And that would be top level. Like BlackRock stuff.”
“Why?” asks a woman.
“Money! …Testing to see where the world is on various different issues. They want to plan. And avoid another catastrophe like the war in Russia. They may also have been taunting Trump and Putin. They’re very childish, stupid people. …That old Liberal ‘heart of gold’ tripe is bullshit now.” he says.
“We’re not all that bad.” says Pete.
“Well…your party scares me.” he says. “No. If it was to taunt someone it was suicidal arrogance. Or a waste of time and a redundant display of their vanity.”
(Night)
“We’re wondering if you were in limerence with Jack. Even if you were straight.” says the DNC to Lem.
“No. …It seems like it. But no. …I never experienced it that way.” says Lem.
“Were you at all obsessed?” says a woman.
“Yeah? But it was with finally gaining his approval. Not with him. …I just wanted him to approve of me. …He was a very withholding person. Even as a friend. …By our 20’s I gave up on that though. …No. I never felt limerence. Just…a foolish sense of…idealism…tainted my view of him, we’ll say.
I couldn’t believe I’d been molested. It just somehow didn’t make sense to me. Right? So…I rationalized it away by believing I was homosexual. That was less scary…then, as a man, believing I could be that vulnerable. I just couldn’t believe a person like me…could be so taken advantage of. A guy!? A smart, big guy!? …It took me becoming older and reflecting on it to realize how vulnerable I had actually been.
So…I went far with that belief of myself. And I ruined my life…but part of how I did that was by believing Jack was…salvageable. So…being straight I didn’t feel normal jealousy. I barely cared. …And…I didn’t understand narcissism. So…I thought I could just fix him. And make it all work. …I wasn’t obsessed. I was…obligated to be his friend. I felt guilty for being anywhere but where he needed me. …I gave up a lot to be helpful.
No…I wasn’t happy. But I did my part.” says Lem.
“Wait I’m confused. So…you actually resented it!?” says a woman.
“I didn’t consider it that. I felt very much that I was in love! …But yes. I hated him.
What was love to me? ….Imagine you were a very trusting, loving, caring Greatest Generation person…and young. And someone tells you that they’re sure you’re in love with your mailman. Why? Because you have a weird psychological condition where you fall in love with your mailman. And they suggest you go…talk with your mailman and ask if they’ll marry you. Because this expert is so convinced you’re in love that….the only way you’ll be happy is to get married as soon as possible. So…you walk up to your mailman and you realize that you don’t even find them remotely attractive. But that’s subconscious. Right? Because you’re so convinced you’re in love you dismiss it consciously even though you experience it. …And anyway the mailman looks at you like you’re insane. And then they walk off, without saying a word. And you never see them again. … And you’re…slightly hurt. But…you’re also incredibly relieved. Because you aren’t in love at all in reality. …That’s close to what I experienced. Minus a bit of the hurt. …I just couldn’t get hurt that he rejected me. …Because he didn’t. But…he also did. So…he found me attractive. Because he wanted me to give him gay sex. And that satisfied my ego. …And he wanted my company. And I already knew I was a fun person to be around. Even if I was a little shy. …So…I didn’t care about the rest. I just…didn’t take it personally. Because it wasn’t. I was genuinely straight. So actually I didn’t want to give him gay sex. Not really.
…So…his intention was to create a power imbalance. Right? As he was a narcissist. But…he didn’t fully understand his own attraction to me. Or want to accept it. And…I didn’t give care. At all. …My ego wasn’t hurt. And…as a confused straight guy…that’s about the only way I could get hurt. …So…he didn’t win. And…in reality that lack of a power imbalance because he wasn’t straight and I was…was how it worked. …Because he felt narcissistically satisfied…even though he wasn’t. And I didn’t realize what he was doing. …So I didn’t care. …He wanted to be hurtful but…didn’t expect me to be obvious about my suffering…so…he read into things. Because I was the gay one in his mind. …And so…he felt satiated as a narcissist…and I…yeah! I just didn’t notice. …So we kept missing each other. And in missing each other we accidentally were able to at least…mostly believe we had an actual friendship. He wanted to be normal and have friends. And I didn’t care.
I was resigned to being gay. Being in love with the mailman. Even though it wasn’t real and I was just…confused. And he was…living in a delusional bubble and got shot.” says Lem.
“So you tried to be in love.” says an actress.
“Yes.” says Lem.
“And you thought love was…only for straight people.” she says.
“Yeah!” says Lem.
“Did you ever tell Jack you loved him?” she says.
Lem thinks. “Yes. …Not because I felt it. Because…I thought once you did what we had done…you were in love. Like…love was a response to any sexual contact. …It was…in a conversation about homosexuality. I was arguing that he was gay. And I was trying to say that after what he’d done with me…he must have been in love with me. But…I believed you could violate that and go be in love with someone else. Because…it was honor and duty that kept people together in he end. …And…I thought…you could fall madly in love…but it was highly unlikely. …Although I never told him that. And I never believed I was madly in love with him…but I thought I’d found love. Whatever that even is, right? Just…tradition, mostly. …So yes. I gave him the wrong idea. By accident.” says Lem.
“And he just…arrogantly and condescendingly argued against you the whole time?” says the actress.
“He was awful. He was very mean. …Very mean. Almost violent. Because he insisted I was…disgusting. …And then finally he just started laughing and decided to ‘treat it like a joke.’” says Lem. “And I let it go. Because he has become abusive. …And cruel. ….And we rarely talked about it. …He wanted me to give him gay sex…but entirely believe he was straight. And anything that openly communicated otherwise was…unspeakable to him. …And I didn’t actually want it anyway. So…like I said…it worked. Sadly. …Him being violently closeted. And me being…secretly totally repulsed by it. …My distance was taken by him as…an act. Or…he ignored it.
So…I’d be totally repulsed or disinterested but he’d make excuses for it. And he’d not be. But…I just assumed I was weird. Some asexual man. Or something.” says Lem. “Maybe not a tense. Right?”
“Why did you never sleep with a woman!??” yells a Republican, who’s alive.
“I was an honorable man.” says Lem. “If you’re trying to imagine what I was like…thinks of Gomer Pyle. Except I wasn’t as dopey. I was very intelligent…although not everyone noticed it. And…if you can imagine Gomer being genuinely very confused…that’s me. I was…acting. That character would never make that specific mistake. But…if you’d told him he was a secret prince…and he believed you…he’d have changed everything. Just to fit that role. And maybe people were more like that back then. More gullible and imaginative and earnest? …But…I was acting. …It’s sad nobody ever really investigated. Although…I’d not have loved them the way I love Lacey.” says Lem. “And yes. I’d have never misunderstood love again if she’d been there. …And yes. Sex is meaningful. But…I wasn’t engaging in real sex. I was…confused. …And incapable of experiencing desire for men. Whether that’s just sanity or not.” says Lem.
“He never noticed!??” says a man.
“No! As I’ve said…once he was in the White House he finally really noticed. But…it took that long for him to start questioning things.” says Lem. “Anyway. Goodnight!”
Keen to Cross the Pond 