“I’m Not Going Away” by Lem

(September 21st, 2024)

How do you think a gay man could have been essentially iihappily married in the closet with JFK?

I’ll wait.

*A living gay man who looked-up the North Shore Paranormal Society cracks-up laughing*

“I was just…there.” says JFK to him. JFK hates being laughed at.

“You felt he had a right to ask for special favors.” says a living author.

And that concept warded off my normal human emotions?

“Yeah. That makes no sense.” confesses a living Gen. Z gay man.

“Okay FINE!” says Louis Bayard. “You would have still felt incredibly depressed at his wedding. Because it’s all just lies…and so…at his wedding the truth would have caught up with you.”

Yes. That’s true. At his wedding, the birth of his children, in the White House. When he was first getting serious Jackie. And yet at none of those times did I stop interacting with him.

“Dammit. This really is dumb, Lem.” says a reader.

“Even if you felt it couldn’t be helped!?” says a living gay man. “Because of the closet?!?”

“Yes! Because his actions were narcissistic. Not just closeted. He was cruel. …Not just closeted. …And what I’m saying actually isn’t just that it’s possible someone to get dependently attached because that happens. Historically. No. What I’m saying is that I’m sincerely smiling and peaceful throughout all of it. And in the end I say things that…actually seem obtuse to my own suffering. And that that makes no sense! Clearly something else far more weird than current historians think was happening.” says Lem.

“More atypical?” says a living gay man.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“He does seem kind of fake. In his gay mannerisms.” says a gay man in the CIA.

“So you just copied us?” says another living gay man.

“Yes! I studied you all for years. And my mannerisms changed over time. I had certain things I’d do. The wide smile. But I actually changed them over time.” says Lem.

“And JFK thought it was all perfectly legit. To a point. And then he felt…evil. And enjoyed torturing you?” says a living gay man.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“Lem. That’s a shitty life.” says a famous paranormal investigator.

“Our lives are blessed with status, some good health, and first and foremost our children. Other than that…and maybe the love of my family…I wish we’d never been born.” says Lem.

“Yeah! I hear you!” yells a British woman.

“But you can’t do anything about it now!” says a German man.

“That’s easy to say when you’re not stuck in it. But I know what you mean. True!” says Lem.

Lacey watches Instagram and a man who uses dolls to replace a real family is shown. Then she sees a woman who paints everything. And does terrible DIY work.

Yes. Lem is a ghost. And Lacey has painted stuff.

…She’s also about to go make peach crepes on a crepe maker from Williams Sonoma she was given by her father-in-law who’s this man:

And…I’m a ghost. A GHOST. …Not a doll. Or a delusion. Or a hallucination. A ghost. …She’s not insane. She’s miserable with me being a ghost and would prefer a totally normal marriage. But…her and her husband are a team…and care about each other. And…it’s the best we can do for now.

“She could have dated me.” says Dr. Moritz.

“She had reservations.” says Lem.

The thing is…out of incredible sadness she started experiencing comfort from ghosts. Around age 30. And…we can interact if God allows us to. If you watch North Shore Paranormal they are frequently touched. And can feel it. …If I’m a ghost…A GHOST…and I can touch her sexually…and she’s married in a partnership anyway…at least for the duration, so to speak…why would I be fine with her being with Dr. Moritz? Or anyone?

It’s not the same thing…as a doll. Sometimes things look the same…but aren’t. Think of Portrait of Jennie. Or The Ghost And Mrs. Muir. I’m not a doll. I’m a ghost. And everyone dies eventually. You’ll die too.

“Why can’t she be with anyone alive?” asks a British man, half laughing. “I mean…yes. You could very well be real. …But…you’re dead. Right?”

“Yes.

And the irony of my seeming…laissez faire, always happy, weird joyful tolerance with Jack Kennedy as contrasted with this…isn’t lost on me. I had a sick, non-relationship with a man when I was actually heterosexual. Sick because he was sick and I was…tragic. …And here she is…alive and…not at all like him. It seems ridiculous to expect her to be faithful at all. And yet she’s not going to be happy without me. She just isn’t.

She wasn’t supposed to know. She wasn’t supposed to talk to me. That’s what happened anyway. …And even though I’m a ghost…and you can’t easily see me…I still exist. So…what do you suppose would happen if she did get a divorce? Her life would be traumatic. She’d turn to me in her spirit. She can experience me now. So…

And then all to do what? Marry someone else?

So I’m supposed to watch her…marry someone else…while we’re in love…and when she’s at her lowest always turns to me and God. And yes, Christians don’t understand that. And not everyone is in her situation. She doesn’t fear death the way most people do…but…she also has to contend with this now. Theologically. Logically. Rationally. It’s…a nightmare.

And no. I was straight. So…I wasn’t actually capable of bonding with Jack. And his…excursions…didn’t bother me because of that. …I will not let her be with someone else. …If I’m a ghost I’m able to do that. Even if you rebuke me in Jesus’s name. Because I’m not being evil. I’m sorry! …I’m not a demon.

I’m…not…going to let her lose me. Or be distanced from me. Because I make her happy. I make her happier than anyone. And I need her.” says Lem.

“He’s right. There’s an afterlife.

You know…why aren’t you more worried about a possible Illuminati? My son is fine. He’s happy. Their kids are doing great. They’re obviously very close. They need each other too. Because some of us are alive in 2024.

I doubt they’re in an open marriage…but…my son is adventurous. …I doubt it though. …But whatever they’re doing is working fine for now. They really do make a genuinely great team. I’m watching them and I can’t help but be proud. They work really well together.

*he shrugs*

I’d rather they have each other and some…happiness…and a sense of belonging…and purpose…before death…than nothing. My other son has chosen not to get married. …I’m just cool with whatever is functional and truly healthy. Or is as healthy as is possible.” says Ken.

“Yup!

And Harriet and I tried to communicate with someone in an antique store. In Superior, Wisconsin. And at a bar! Because we knew Lacey would see it. …That’s the way we cared. Just ask Lacey!

My wife and I loved Duluth, by the way. We really did.” says David, Ken’s father.

“He got them to hear his name.” says Harriet. “David!”

“Okay. Then why is euthanasia wrong?” says a reader.

“Because! You’re not supposed to die. …Think about it! …It’s not normal! …If some child suffering in a Holocaust or something dies, then maybe that’s a good thing. But…if you can live…live.” says David.

“What if you can’t?” says a man.

“Why can’t you!?” yells David. “Why!?”

“David is a Jew. He sounds Jewish. …He’s extolling you to be! To live.” says a dead Norwegian from Iowa.

“SHIT! This sounds so positive!” says JFK to someone.

“I’m off to make crepes.” says Lacey.