“Meaning” by Lem

(September 22nd, 2024)

Why do certain people want to ignore life? Last night Carmindy, a make-up artist, appeared on Instagram to Lacey…to tell everyone that life isn’t about romantic love. And she gets the same fulfillment from travel. …You know…I had a delusion that I was fine with that sort of boring, shallow, lonely life myself…until my 60’s when I essentially overdosed on drugs. On purpose. Because that’s what her life is…boring, shallow and lonely. I don’t care what bullshit she tries to shove down our throats with her pretty smile. It’s still bullshit.

I had…an awful life. I’m speaking from experience. Life is about things greater than us. Not just us. We need to join in with those…experiences, as humans created by God, to be truly happy.

And you know why she likes travel? Because people who had LIVES outside of fame and work…lived there…or traveled there. Not just “friendships” but deep, intimate, soulful relationships. Wives and husbands. L

Lacey isn’t stupid enough to fall for the lies. If there’s an Illuminati give-up. You’re losers. Sorry! You LOST.

If there’s an Illuminati Carmindy looks angry.

“I have to say if there is an Illuminati, it seems like you were talking to me and mocking not just this life but my last life too, if there’s reincarnation, and there might not be, but I don’t understand where you get off in your own head so damn easily with your precious-self-righteousness…because you’re full of shit. You’re either too immature to really appreciate what some people can appreciate like myself or you’re in delusion-land and you’re just trying to get by.

How’s that for some truth-talking, you baby?“ says Lacey.

“ I mean she’s right it is just bullshit and Carmondy and people did say that in a rare comment that you didn’t like I think people like her don’t know how to just stop why are you picking a fight with Lacey if there is an illuminati and maybe there’s not and maybe this is just art and it’s an interesting way to interpret her statement and make it into art but let’s say there is no illuminati cause that’s what Lacey does. She’s making some thing into Hart with the premise that she discovered the illuminati and maybe she didn’t but if she did, you were talking to her last night and telling her to stop thinking that she should be with a man or what what was your point exactly that she should go fuck herself for having a soul I mean I don’t understand what you’re but you’re point was?” says the CIA.

“ I think she thinks women like me and Lacey are losers because we’re not sluts like her. You’re a slut Carmondy potentially and it’s probably been very hard for you to settle down with one man because you tend to like to spread your legs for lots of people isn’t that what it is you had a chance to get married in your 30s or 20s but you chose to fuck around and follow your career and now you’re making excuses for it like I’m liberated and better than you I’m not dumb enough to try to focus on a man because I’ve got money and fame and I travel with friends I am intelligent and sophisticated unlike fucking idiot to think that life‘s about love fuck that shit it’s about money, fame, and travel hoes!” says Princess Diana.

“ what if I’m not a slut ?” says Carmindy.

“ I don’t know if you strike me as a slut. Sincerely, you’re very pretty I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve used Coke weed gotten drunk and probably had a lot of sex. Maybe not maybe not but you seem like someone who probably would have to see you’re in the beauty industry, people who do make up tend to be partiers if I’m not mistaken, and I can imagine you being so popular and successful in that community without partaking yourself. Given your aesthetic it’s possible that you don’t, but I’ve met a decent number of make up artists at parties who were friends with my friends who said something similar that had abortions they were snorting Coke and they weren’t as popular as you they weren’t as pretty as you, but my guess is that you’re just lying and I don’t. I think what gets me is it if there’s an illuminati you think I’m going to believe your bullshit no I’m not, no I’m not gonna believe your bullshit. I feel sorry for you and at the same time I’m also confused I mean are you suicidal and lonely if you are I don’t blame you I would be too if I was you at 53 especially if you’ve done it to yourself, but you know you did it to yourself so focus on yourself and go away focus on yourself who are you really do the eyes of God who are you really because that’s what you are that’s what you have that’s you so I would focus on that just sort of him reclaiming your dignity and your sense of self and then I would if you’re actually struggling and just covering for it and shoving bullshit down peoples throats to try to make it seem like I don’t know if you’re happy or something which is actually really annoying to me that people do that but anyway so no you you focus on yourself who are you? Do you know who are you really know just what do you want how do you get what you want but who are you and then in the eyes of God through the eyes of Jesus who are you your salvation is through him and him alone and then from that point we talk about your life right? Well, you have yourself you have God, if there’s a incarnation, and there might not be, but if there is, this is an interesting choice, I had a similar life of Scotia building an empire, so to speak of my own I give meaning to the word and assigns I gave meaning to the word empire 🙂 but not really, but sort of expensive they’re not you consider Scotland to be an empire but not sure that it is it’s a country and I don’t know I would say that it’s not either in a sentence but the point is personal if there is reincarnations, don’t talk down to me who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?

I didn’t start a make up empire you stupid, fucking bitch. I started a whole fucking country that’s named after me a country and I’m just as feminine and just as sexy and just as voluptuous potentially as a lot of people, including Marilyn Monroe in my own way I’m not less of a woman than you, I started a country I am fairy complicated and I’m fairy important so don’t talk to me like I’m a fucking idiot!

And if there’s not reincarnation, I’m sorry I had to say that but if there is a no I have that OK I did that. Been there done that for more than you!

Travel I watch from Egypt in the ancient times and started my own country, you babbling idiot! I am so much more important than most of you who I’m talking to who are alive if there’s room in Carnation, your shit compared to me! 

Thinking you can preach to me oh, God, Lord, help us!

Oh anyway yes I did have an interesting life and you’ve had an interesting life to him. Let you know once you put two and two together to equal four sweetheart baby you realize that that’s not the meaning of life in a sense there’s something higher and greater than that And it’s relationships it’s your children it’s your husband it’s God it’s your parents it’s your family. It’s what connects you to other beings who are like you in the ecosystem created by God that we called earth. It’s our connection to other humans not just as friends or clients or whatever it would be, but it’s some thing far greater and deeper than that it gets to the heart of what we are sentient feeling emotional meaningful beings, our feelings, matter far more than just as feelings, that is who we are, and we are eternal, potentially in most cases, it seems, and less of God chooses to destroy us that we go on, and you can say I am an atheist. Do you know if this is a real conversation that that’s stupid, there’s a lot of evidence to suggest that there’s an afterlife and you can ignore that willfully but that’s stupid that’s not smart.

I’m so I’m sorry to have to break it to you but you’ll probably keep living after you die and if there’s reincarnation this might not be your one chance you said that to this is your one shot how do you know that if there’s an illuminati no this might not be your one shot They might not be just one shot and I would almost guarantee you that if you’re reincarnated and you’re not a shallow, narcissistic prick that you’ll probably see things my way eventually because as far as I can tell, that really is the meaning of everything and you just can’t believe that I guess or if you can, it’s overwhelming to you.

You’re backward don’t preach to me. Oh no, that’s not how life work do you know what get a clue!

I may be to a narcissist your way of life seems very ideal until you have boundaries with those people or you are a narcissist and then you don’t understand when it’s appropriate and when it’s not appropriate to say certain things, it was a very inappropriate thing to say to me, Carmody, it was even if you’re just trying to get attention from me and make me feel sorry for you. I have lost respect for you if there’s an illuminati and you were saying that to me because that was a very shitty immature stupid as fuck thing to say.

I happen to know if there is an illuminati that Cheryl Hines, who thought she was better than me, too, spent most of yesterday, miserable in her head, thinking that she had fucked up her entire life by marrying Bobby. She had the same sort of self righteousness. Is you oh I know still not I’m going to tame by the Kelly. I make him pay thought even though he has mental illness and he’s delusional and he can’t be faithful because he’s insane. Narcissism and evil and insanity run his family on both sides. Well, maybe not evil so much on Ethel side is insanity by Kramden homicidal mental illness him but I am going to tame this man who is the combination of Skakel and Kennedy and they can be friends with me. Oh yeah, I don’t think so. I think everyone that’s with the Kennedy has thought that for the most part at some point or some thing but that’s just not how they work they’re not capable of really being happy in that way with someone they just can’t do it maybe they’re slightly avoidant to maybe there’s some avoidant personality disorder Tendencies and that family as well not just narcissistic I can’t help but think that they’re avoiding getting close so I would say that he’s probably someone avoidant but but that’s the thing so for some reason she thought they were gonna be fine. She’ll be fine she did she understood as is Larry David to the great Larry David said I don’t think there’s anything that he could throw at her that she would just handle like a pro, no that’s bullshit surprisingly enough she has human emotions just like you and unless if she’s delusional and toxic herself and she might not be she was going to be miserable. It was inevitable. There was nothing she could do if they stayed sane and lived in society like functioning, rational adults, and then destroy everything to prove that they knew better when they really don’t necessarily at all, she was bound to be miserable And I would say I think she’s held it with a lot more grace and dignity and maturity than a lot of you. It doesn’t seem like she thinks she’s in capable of being wrong, which is actually really dignified and intelligent.

I know as I get older, I’m depressed by people like you, because I have to share a world with you and your level of insight and maturity makes me want to kill myself. Literally. You have my husband potentially typecast fraternity as a typical gay man when he might not have been gay at all. And you are so fucking determined in your self righteous idiocy do you insist that you’re right.

Now getting back to you when your needs because that’s what matters doesn’t it I’m totally miserable. I have literally been suicidal to an extraordinary, profound degree for most of my life and it’s gotten worse in the last year or two I would never kill myself because I have my children to take care of and love, and I’m a responsible, sentient, compassionate adult with a conscience who gives a fuck about my own offspring, I don’t know if you’re capable of that or not anymore but if you are if you could have children of your own Carmondy and not shit in their fucking faces like their dogs from hell, then let’s have a conversation about your needs.” says Lacey.

“Add a man I agree with you. This is the kind of woman that my husband apparently likes to cheat with as a plate and I’m starting to realize how annoying they are you are you’re really annoying you really are you little twat!” says Cheryl Hines. 

“ like I said, Lacey is my aunt she’s not really my aunt but in a weird way it became that depending on what happened in the supernatural in peoples estimations and oh well oh well just oh well it’s OK it’s a lot to take in.” says David A. Kennedy.

“Yeah! True!” says Ron Craft.

“ OK oh no don’t don’t shut her up

That was somebody um yeah so let’s talk about your needs huh? Um, focus on yourself who are you and then add eight um, I’m being humble and kind to you right now because you preach to me in a very disgusting way and you’re full of shit and it’s not relevant to me it’s beneath my pay grade and I don’t appreciate being condescending to buy someone who knows a hell of a lot less about everything that I do potentially.

But anyway, no, let’s get let’s get back to this discussion about the meaning of life, according to Carmen de the make up artist. Which actually is interesting make up artist could be very deep. It’s an art. It really is but I can add the same time. It’s all so shallow in a sense potentially him and some aren’t used to be and still is but people can just be shallow. I hope you’re not shallow is so you who are you? Who are you really in reading a little bit about your bio it seems like you’ve struggled with that most of your life. When the hell did you have a double chin and thunder thighs. I cannot imagine you looking like that Maybe if you were a lot fatter, you’d have those things, but then, sweetie that’s not you that’s being fat and having dainty petite features and being beautiful frankly you’re a very beautiful woman. If you get fat, you might look bad. The people of lost that common sense but nobody looking fat is not so OK. Some people look good when they’re fat they do some people actually still look pretty good when they’re fat your body is just maybe not meant to be that fat and you look better when you’re not I had a friend in college once who thought she look better really skinny and she didn’t. She actually looked better a little bit heavier but I don’t think she ever wanted to hear me say that for some reason, but she did Him you’re not that person. I’m not that person that’s just not a bone structure. I’m different than you and my body but in my face my chin is so much similar to yours and I don’t it’s just it doesn’t we don’t look at that we just don’t and I don’t feel good when I’m fat I don’t think our bodies are meant to be that fat, necessarily so who are you? You’re not a fat person that’s you being unhealthy that’s the unhealthy version of you that’s not you that’s a sickness in a sense.

So then who are you? You’re a blonde fairy pretty very wispy sort of woman very beautiful very California possible so much privilege and old money even I don’t know I can’t quite read you properly and I’m not convinced you didn’t have a little money in your background, but whatever the case may be, and you might not have, but if you did, I wouldn’t be shocked, but the thing is though that’s who you are all that nonsense. Those people who made fun of you I can see it from an outside perspective. It was bullshit and they were probably just bothered by how pretty and smart you’re obviously intelligent you’ve done very well I don’t think you were capable of doing that well without some intelligence so when I say idiot, I don’t mean it scientifically I mean it so much colloquially, but you are obviously intelligent to some degree in someway even if it’s just Booksmart did not life smarts in the suns, my husband, who is a little legally, my husband, someone like that he’s a brilliant mathematician very very talented, but he wasn’t lost with an incredible perceptive ability when it comes to the meaning of certain things without discussion And so he thought partying and being wild was rational him and now he doesn’t take that but he used to and he’s very intelligent. Am I don’t know it I wonder if your white German slightly in your background or touch I don’t think you’re Jewish someone thinks you’re Jewish I would be surprised if you are maybe you are Ashkenazi Jew anyway, I don’t know but you’re very pretty and you’re obviously intelligent to some degree at least very pretty very very pretty and that’s who you naturally are as beautiful woman absolutely beautiful, are you there’s a loving sweetheart maybe yes maybe no? It’s unclear to me well but hopefully you know that. Hopefully, you know that about yourself in an honest way.

And then, beyond that um, there’s a lot to you, your personality, your idiosyncrasies, who you are your soul. And that’s you you’re the only being in the entire universe for all of time and outside of Time who will ever truly be you know carbon copy nothing it’s just you being you, and without you Q wouldn’t exist. You’re the only person in the world who can do that. I am, but then once you would just say there is reincarnation once you get over the thrill of creating some thing as yourself and if you start to think OK, I’m lonely you start to realize it’s sort of a self-awareness. It’s sort of a consciousness you start to realize how lonely you really are and you start to recognize that it’s not just about doing things you know is there like a developing child? I’m sorry if that’s offensive but it is in my opinion it’s like a baby, they have the learn some how to move you know, and do their own thing and they realize that they’re a person in their separate from other people, but then the more that they get aware of the more that they grow they start developing a loneliness as a human and they want mommy and daddy and they need mommy daddy to be loving. That’s an Anna so level what you start to realize and then you say, I’ll be by me to tell him you don’t care no no, and that way it’s not like that you are you were always aware of that you are alone and that you are your own person and once you understand the potential as a soul there’s reincarnational or just in life once you understand anything I’m saying babies to everybody makes you wonder if you’re a narcissist and I’m just wasting my time, but then I will be wasting my time I really would be your time. Steve had an asshole him but if you do have a mind that’s normal and you’re not evil know him you realize that there’s a potential for a beautiful sort of unity with other people that actually doesn’t leave it with loneliness and it’s not just friendship it’s not just sharing fun times with people and Laughs, it’s it’s profound and the romantics understood it to some degree it’s it’s profound It’s it really is F Scott Fitzgerald understood it it’s not him I think having my sort of in his own wait to you at times but no it’s not simple so did Harold lope, so did Zelda him And did we really progress from the 1920s are we really that much smarter and our overall thinking since then I doubt it if you take racism out and all those things that people love to reference and make the past seem so shitty and stupid then how are we superior to them, and you cannot possibly tell me a racism sex in a polity that’s the only thing that they really that’s like that’s at the core of who they were no The Romantics we’re not just racist, sexist idiots that’s stupid as fuck the concepts, the concepts are extolled by the romantics are not racist or backward in nature they’re also separate from that in a way on but anyway the point is they thought that things are the way I see it that relationships really matter to a profound great and I guarantee you there’s someone standing on a bridge right now, Carmen de who would agree with me and they’re not insane. Don’t gaslight them and me by trying to tell us that we don’t know what we’re talking about and you know banner!

Oh, I bet it’s focusing on you if you’re miserable yeah you got to a point where you realize the possibility for union with someone else and it’s profound and once you are aware of that possibility you can’t to go back because you know too much you know it’s like you know and then there’s no unseeing it so to speak. I mean by your standards I would say the LGBTQ community was a waste of time and Anne and all those child pedophiles in illuminati. If it should exist to insist, it’s human rights to let them harm children they shall just be shot or comatose or something because that’s not the meaning of life right it’s probably with friends or simple, shallow things like that that would make me want to cry my eyes out if I had to live my life with that is my focus, but based on what you said that is the meaning of life shall go stupid stuff that makes me want to kill myself or somebody else who deserves to be killed because it’s such fucking shit but but see we don’t really think that sweetie we think that, but then we don’t really think that so I was like oh that’s the meaning of things for a sophisticated city woman like me who is a feminist? No it’s not because your same crowd tends to say that those people should be taken seriously who are saying that’s a human rights issue. It wouldn’t be what you’re saying is true it’s not relevant. It’s not meaningful. Who cares what they want if it inconveniences society and is too expensive fuck them let them kill themselves let them catch other they’re worthless pieces of human shit according to you.

Oh, and I’m not saying that I shouldn’t killing pedophiles is stupid necessarily, but it is an away. It’s complicated but the the point is though that’s what I’m being honest I’m not saying people to go do that, but I am saying that as a concept it might not be stupid.

Oh, but let’s just say that was a cry for help last night if there’s an illuminati focus on yourself and yeah you are you can once you see it you can’t on see it and maybe you do see it and if you do great you see it now I don’t know why you’ve never found somebody either. It’s not because you’re not pretty or intelligent it could be that you are too pretty and intelligent if you’re is innocent as I am and you’re not a slut to have I don’t know or you’re cursed them out there’s lots of possibilities and maybe you do have to just sort of let go you’ve done a lot with your life if you didn’t cause your own misery if you’re miserable then I don’t know what you were supposed to do there’s nothing wrong with you. There’s nothing you can fix. It’s just the shit show. That is this world. What are you tell people then him that if they’re ugly it isn’t a death sentence how about that? Um, you should really by all logic and rationality. Have somebody if you really wanted someone and were capable of of having that debt but I know I’m not gonna hear anymore stupid discussions about your chin line you have a beautiful face if men can’t get over your chin line then I don’t think they like sex with women because you’re very beautiful. That’s just fact. So I guess at the end of the day um what does it all mean? Well you’re just fucked you’re 53 you could find somebody in your 60s or 70s but it’s possible that your life is just fucked and that way you didn’t see you’re kind of like me if your jeep you have incredible fortune when it comes to somethings it’s like how did you do that smile part of its intelligence and just you being you and then part of it is That I don’t know the shit show me that his life working in our favor and maybe not in someone else’s favor because is intelligent and gifted as you are there’s probably somebody who’s poor and you and I both know that who’s not blessed and we can’t do anything about that anymore than we can change the fact that we’ve not found love that’s just life do you know sometimes you get really cool stuff and then sometimes you’re totally screwed over That being said, that being said, I really do you think we are probably a mortal so you have time in your overall existence, and who knows the same thing as telling me to say, and I think it’s wise to say either way if you are that deep, how do you know that there’s not somebody who’s dead Who’s may be very possessive of you because you are so beautiful and if you are that deep, then you were that beautiful on the inside to right as they say and so if he’s dead, then maybe he doesn’t like the thought of you with somebody else and however, that works out it could be very hard for him to let go of you, so yeah and maybe he would be OK with it but then it’s just not I mean that’s what happen with them but it’s just not worked out I don’t know him I don’t. yeah what are you supposed to do about that when you die if there’s reincarnation or somehow it just makes sense it’ll make sense and I’ll just be like oh right I knew that I didn’t know and And I was fine but at times I was really depressed and yeah but it yeah that’s what I would say you know just if you if you did do it yourself and you’re not like me then you did it to yourself and I mean that was your choice you did that to yourself And like I say to my children it’s that was your choice. You know that was your choice that’s what you did you have to take that responsibility so it’s either your responsibility and it was your choice or you’re just unfortunate in that way, but I don’t think that you are I don’t think that you’re making sense saying that that’s not the meaning of anything I think that’s just nonsense.” says Lacey.

“ if we’re supposed to be evil, that might’ve been an attempt to be evil in a safe way.” says Elon.

“ oh yeah well and I think that’s nonsense but it’s an interesting theory.” says Lacey.

“ you know actually, Scotia really is sort of a big deal if there’s reincarnation be careful because she does care about you Carmindy.” says Alain Delon.

“ is there a ring carnation, though they might not be.” says Lacey.

“ she actually is sleeping with him by the way he works it out, but his ghost actually had sex with her a while ago and it was a very visceral real experience for her. It was like a movie, but they did they have other ways that they they actually do you sleep together just in case if you’re wondering.” says Alain Delon.

“ I had an affair with Bobby and I’ve lied about it.” says Olivia.

“ boy, you sure have it was all conversation?” says Lacey, laughing.

Lem laughs.

Cheryl cries.

“ no it wasn’t all conversation Lacey that’s bullshit.” says NBC.

“ then why say that do you have any idea how annoying it is to have to try to savor through everything when you’re exhausted and mentally drained already?” says Lacey.

“Amen!” says a reader.

“ Yeah, it was romantic.” says Olivia.

“ did someone send you to him to seduce him or does it just happen?” days Lacey.

“ did I totally fuck up my life or did I make a wonderful career move to make a real name for myself but then also just destroy my life at the same time in a way.” says Cheryl.

“ yeah, I think you destroyed your life marrying him in a way, but you don’t have to be faithful to him either I mean if there’s some legal or safety reason why you have to stay married to him then I guess you have to for survival, but the marriage itself might just be dead I mean you’re both old let’s be honest you’re old and you don’t have to keep trying. It’s just your your bodies are dying. Just try to have some peace and happiness before you die and I guess if you found someone to Mary who would be better then do that do you ask do you love? I wonder though do you love Bobby more than his other wives did?” says Lacey.

“ I don’t think Mary was a soulmate. I think they think that she was and I think they think that lamb was and I don’t think either of them were I think you are but I think you are a soulmate of JP and I think that’s where all his bullshit came from Rose got jealous and so she started trying to say everyone was other people soulmates instead of being honest and admitting that you’re actually her husband soulmate not her because I think she’s very insecure and her bond with him even though I think they actually were in love and there’s Janet and JP seems to have a fixation on Janet and that’s interesting or he might’ve ruined that relationship with you because he decided you’d be better off with Lyme. I’m not sure I have a feeling that it was a fixation on Janet but whatever the case may be I think you could’ve been his soulmate. I don’t know that you are anymore I think, somehow involved away from that Swedenborgian sweet agree with us later hypothesis on that one. um, but I think that’s what happened. I mean his family owned a saloon your father owned a saloon to essentially let me not really. He was more of a Socratic than that but he owns several different properties, but well I would say he probably yeah he had. He had sort of first dibs on them or some thing but then he owned a hotel then he had a night club. Yeah, I think he might’ve found a liquor store eventually but that is somewhat similar to JP. It is and somehow I feel like you choose were alike in someway for a while and that it was meant to be something greater which is sad. I think people like me think about you and we think that we’re teaming JP and we’re not and I don’t think son was at. I actually think he might’ve been straight. I thought about it and you’re right actually he’s right, I don’t think that wedding pictures make any sense they really don’t wanna think about it Lacey but I really do and I have and you’re well he’s right they don’t make sense without him being straight just straight and actually my husband makes more sense to when I think of one being straight and confusing the fuck out of them when he was growing up because he did he totally confuse the hell out of Bobby Bobby really thought he was gay on a certain level and yeah it’s screwed with his hat and if my husband’s not completely straight yeah he’s totally fucked up and that way in many ways but I am no I’m not his soulmate, but I do love him and I was really in love with him, and I understood what I was getting myself into to some degree but I was just so in love with him. The sex was really good I was really happy, and it was just really happy. It was a really happy relationship because you know he felt bad for some degree that he was difficult to be with and on a certain level I I think I thought that I would be different which is so childish and stupid, but I thought somehow that he be somewhat faithful with me not be completely faithful, but more faithful than he was with anyone else and that’s not true but that’s been has been very hard for me to except because I really thought they would be different with me so anyway yeah no I do love him a lot more than most people probably more than almost anyone. I don’t know Mary might’ve left him a lot but I I wonder if I love him just as much, if not more so.” says Cheryl.

“Lacey what would happen if you tried to-“ says Casi.

“-what were you going to say?” says Cheryl.

“ just sat in the afterlife when Bobby isn’t impaired and dysfunctional if there’s something physically wrong with narcissist if his head is literally messed up, you’ll probably be able to see who he really is. It’ll be interesting to see what you feel about the whole thing then if you want to be with him or if you’ll be sick of him at that point, it’ll be interesting to see.” says Lacey.

“What would happen if you tried to ‘just travel with friends’?” says Casi.

“I’d want to kill myself.” says Lacey.

“She’s smart.” says Lem.

“So…there’s no fucking point.” says Casi,

“NONE!” says a dead British woman in the Bahamas. “I met her. Carmindy is not as aware as she is. It’s evil to try to force Lacey to unsee what she does about life.”

“I get it.” says Casi. “It’s…just weird now. Without Lem. My grandma was like that. It’s not like they don’t know how to be alone. It’s that they have love…that’s probably eternal.” She thinks. “You can’t make them…lose that. You can brainwash them. But…she’s refusing to be brainwashed.”

“Why can’t you be humble? Or did you all actually have to be evil?” asks a reader.

“Lacey what does that feel like?” asks a reader.

“It’s miserable.” says Lacey.

“It is!” says Diana. “It’s like…a noise in your spirit that won’t go away.”

“Yes.” says Lacey. “It gnaws at you.”

“I think…if there’s reincarnation…you imagine I could get over her. That’s not the case. …I truly was brainwashed. And…since she was dead…and I’m a man…I had it easier. …I could summon her in my spirit. And she’d manifest somewhat. And…it wasn’t as lonely for me. If there was reincarnation. As it is for her.” explains Lem.

“Why did you make your statement so elusive!?!” Elton John yells at Lem.

Silence.

“Because…LACEY was why you weren’t lonely!!” yells Elton John.

“That’d be true.” says Lem.

“YOU SCREWED-UP!” yells Elton John.

“I was dense…as granite. I was…dense.” says Lem.

Elton John laughs.

“Or there might not be reincarnation.” says Lem.

“So you masturbated and actually had sex with her?” says Elton John.

“Yes. If there’s reincarnation…I had sex with my dead wife. Often.” says Lem.

“And you never noticed!?!” says Elton John.

“I did. I did notice. …But it seemed insane. …And I already felt insane. So…I just assumed it was a sort of insanity.

Loneliness? Jack was…my ‘traveling with friends’ and I assumed that was my meaning. Or the one I’d given it. People were supposed to take that lack of loneliness in a shallow way. ‘Settled down?’ …That’s a loaded ending. …Why wasn’t I ‘settled down’ with Jack? Why did I do sharply contrast them? It’s a culturally specific thing but it’s also my own choice. And I should have found that abhorrent if I was attracted to him. Personally offensive. …Because why didn’t what I did count? …There’s something sour about what I said. It lacks confidence.

If there’s reincarnation…my actual normal human adult loneliness…could never have been abated by Jack. That’s absurd. It’s impossible! …He couldn’t love at all that deeply. …Those are FACTS. Deal with them.

What I meant was something very shallow. And whimsical. And of its time. Loneliness that some television personality might tell his audience he’s abating. Literally! Like, ‘I’ll keep you company tonight!’ he might have literally said. That simple, shallow loneliness is what I was claiming Jack abated. The part of ‘He may have been the reason I never got married.’ was extremely complex. And not necessarily positive. It depends. It’s a pathetic comment. And I sincerely wish I’d never said it.

Because…to reiterate: Jack couldn’t make anyone happy. Jack Kennedy could not..love…ANYONE. He was a louse. He was a narcissist. He was a sadistic narcissist. …His love was…often lethal. More than one person killed themselves over him. He was an absolute loser! …So my gay-affirmed statement is IMPOSSIBLE. You’ve misunderstood or misread it. …But the way you read it…as a sincere statement of my actual life experience not a complex, nuanced, possibly derisive statement…is wrong. It’s IMPOSSIBLE. …I’m genuinely insane…and deeply delusional…to the point of real psychosis…or I’m actually being passive aggressive.” says Lem.

“Yeah! This is true!” says Charlie Rose. “It’s a very odd statement.”

“But…I did…find happiness alone.” says Lem.

Sir Elton John scoffs.

“If there’s reincarnation. I…just…assumed it was nonsense.” says Lem. “Even if that’s where I actually was getting my needs met.”

“Yeah! Did she do a better job!??” yells Elton John.

“If there’s reincarnation, yes.” says Lem. “It’s her Egyptian background. She knew how to manifest herself better. …I screwed myself over. Thoroughly. But…we’re fine.”

“And you don’t mean that euphemistically?” says Elton John to clarify.

“No!” says Lem.

Elton John laughs. “So Raul tried to have a sleepover? …But you preferred to be alone at night with your heterosexual porn collection?”

“Yes. Basically. But that was essentially just Lacey.” says Lem.

Elton John laughs. Smiles. “Porn addiction! No! …It’s possibly not just porn.”

“For me…it wasn’t.” says Lem.

“What actually happens with porn?” asks Elton John.

“It depends. Sometimes it’s just…a bunch of images. …Almost like residual energy. It’s mindless. Or almost mindless. …And other times it’s…someone who’s there with you. Or some thing.

In my case if there’s reincarnation I was actually having sex with Lacey. And the…power of that actual union…satiated me. I felt…somewhat content. Enough to make it. And no, Jack didn’t satiate me. Both by his choice and his disorders and evil and because I didn’t even want it. …She did. …And if there’s not reincarnation…it’s only slightly different.” says Lem.

“So…my ‘porn addiction’ could be something more.” says Jonah Wiley.

“Yes!!! …It is for lots of men. …Who or what are you actually communing with?” says Lem. “It could be a great many things!”

“True!” says a Catholic priest.

“Yeah. Traditionally you’re not supposed to masturbate for this reason, possibly. Not just self-discipline.” says another Catholic.

“Because y’all knew? Like The Portrait of Jennie? Y’all knew. …You knew we ain’t alone?” says a Black woman.

“Yes.” says the second Catholic.

“So you…masturbated. But you actually were with a woman. …All while you would act flamboyant in public?” asks a living gay man.

“Yes. I would read Playboy. I had a collection. …Jack knew that. But I guess he felt it was…normal. …And…I’d read that. At night. And…then dream of Lacey. She was my ideal. And…I’d stare at images of women…and then imagine her. Almost like…picking out china. I’d peruse the catalog…and then…realize she was my absolute favorite. And I just wanted her.” says Lem. “And yes, that was after playing at being gay all day. So to speak. …So I’d wear my mask of homosexuality that I did t realize was a mask…and then I’d ‘go to bed.’ And…be alone. Have my ‘alone time.’ And…in those moments alone…I…took a deep breath or two…let down my guard and had as much actual sex as I could have.”

“So she was almost like a private addiction?” says Jonah Wiley.

“Except she was person. Whether there’s reincarnation or not. But…I’m understanding the way it was super closeted and private? Yes.” says Lem.

“Lem…we’re wondering if you were actually as private as we’ve said you are?” says Elton John. “Or if that was your mind’s actual life?”

“I’m private. But…not as much as you might think. It was also a way of creating a safe space for myself to exist.” says Lem. “Without completely losing my mind.”

He nods. “Did she manifest?”

“Only if there’s reincarnation. …Otherwise in a way. But not as…a present being. …But yes…she’d have physically felt present. So yes…my ‘alone time’ was…better than most men’s. Because I was…feeling her…presence.” says Lem.

“So…you got some actual tail. Like…you had tail. …If there’s reincarnation. But…it was…undetectable.” says a Black male comedian.

Lem laughs. “Yes.”

“How much can you feel it?” asks Carmindy.

“Are we like a lot stupider in the 21st-century or the 20th century than we thought and it’s like we’re far more advanced then a lot of times in history but we’re maybe not as advanced as we assumed we were?” says a reader.

“Yes!” says Ernest Hemingway. “ and I’d like to quickly point out that goes do exist whether this is lame she’s talking to her not listen. Here’s what happened folks she started talking to F Scott Fitzgerald, and in the process of that she fell in love with him that was well over 10 years ago and him it is basically it involved in such a way where she’s been sadistically attacked and she’s not really with Lem’s. She’s with Elliot Roosevelt or she is with Ernest Hemingway‘s friend, Harold Loeb, or his shoes with my good friend of Scott Fitzgerald, or possibly with Louis, who was misinterpreted the other night but it is one of those mad or it’s just lame but I just wanted to sort of explain that this is a bizarre experience. She did hear Elliot‘s voice that’s who she was with last before she thought she was with flat so she’s actually still with Elliot and he has a very interesting way of handling the situation if you look at Elliot‘s picture when he aged, he actually slightly looks like them they’re coloring a somewhat similar. They’re both tall it’s possible that if lamb was not capable of being with her or is not capable of being with her, that is Elliot who she’s actually his sleeping with, and he just they got clobbered this was years ago they got clobbered and Jack and the Kennedys were a part of that and this is the best Elliot has been able to do was letting her think she’s with Lem’s. No he’s not laughing at her he’s he’s a brilliant man and he’s dealing with the situation, knowing that she’s free enough as a person and afraid of spirit, that yes, if that’s what’s happening, she’ll die if not before then she’ll understand and the very happy very least she’ll die and he’ll be able to he’ll be able to say no no if that was me you just got confused and that’s fine we worked with it but I I caution you it’s also possible that this is actually a Louis Hill Junior‘s problem she’s in St Paul very close to where he died close to where he’s buried close to where he grew up and she’s never going to move and they’re very closely interlinked if she moves to north oaks and dies there she’ll have died within miles. If not, you know inches of where he died depending on where she dies and that is a bit suspicious is it not and I would say even in Christianity it’s possible that they actually are together but he’s also been totally clobbered. If you’ve not noticed they’re still very close which could just be his way to handling it it’s like no she’s totally confused but we’re still on good terms, and he too would hopefully be able to claw his way out but you’re not supposed to talk to the dead so that’s another possibility because we are real but you’re not supposed to talk to us so she’s either with Elliot and they got totally attacked or if she’s with Louis and he got totally attacked and so did she or she is actually with F Scott Fitzgerald it has been for over 10 years, and he got totally attacked sincerely it’s also possible Zelda had something to do with that I am because because if they got very serious and he was really moving away from Zelda it’s possible she couldn’t handle that because she started to realize that she was actually going to lose. Scott show him that he could love who maybe isn’t dramatically different than her and she couldn’t handle that and so this was the result she started attacking Lacey oh dear, and that could be part of what happened. It’s also possible that that did sort of happen but at the end of the day she actually fell in love with Harold Lowe first when she wrote, the sun also rises back when she was in her 20s early 20s and he felt first dibs and he’s not lame but again glasses possibly blue eyes so much similar facial features slightly from a distance is possible. He’s actually the one who got attacked and she’s actually with him and he’s a very brilliant sensitive man who is also trying to cope with the entire situation or or she’s just with them and it’s exactly as she thinks it is and she’s not an idiot and she’s actually just with a lot and in that case people have to grow up because the reality is is that she is with them. I’m sorry and he was straight. He was straight to those pictures of the wedding really are far greater proof than anything he said because you can say some thing that could be a lie our faces betray the truth far more than our words because we can’t completely control our images to that extreme of a degree in it makes no sense. His happiness at Jack’s wedding is impossible even in an open relationship. It’s impossible really it is. It’s sad that people haven’t picked up on that. It’s also fascinating to me. I am Ernest Hemingway makes you wonder about a lot of different things as an author, who still writes in the afterlife but yes that’s something to look forward to if you’re a fan of mine when your dad, you will have books to read that I wrote after I died and if there’s a Purgatory might even be helpful to you to read them to further insights after the grave, Alain DeLon, lakes by writing, if you’re curious to know I didn’t go downhill after death.

Don’t kill yourself just read my novels that you’ve never read. It’s just something to look forward to for those of you who have faith enough to believe in Christ that it’s possible.

Anyway, but no, no I just wanted to point that out so because people seem to keep missing that she’s not imagining that you can’t just jump from Olam was gay and now there’s no ghosts you could jump to that rather is that’s not no that’s a fallacy. There are many other possibilities before you decide to assume that we don’t exist at all, and I have yet to see any of the dead or excuse me living people in the illuminati, except that reality or deal with it. Also, how many times does Lem’s have to point out to you that Jack was a malignant narcissist before you start to wonder how he could’ve met what he said and any sort of sanity see you in this is a thing you people are way too gullible so let’s leave this alone for now because I’m in Lacey are together but it’s getting very personal and Lem’s is being an absolute trooper and Lacey is mad and so she’s willing to fight with fire and he’s being very Manly about the entire situation. Yes if there’s reincarnation he felt it Carmody how much do they feel it? Oh70% yeah really it’s about 70% there I mean if you watch the paranormal investigators when they feel like they’ve been poked they’re not imagining things they’re experiencing some thing And I have yet to see science really deal with those people in any sort of rational actually scientific way because they’re actually experience being that there they’re actually experiencing being poked and it’s not a hallucination they’re experiencing something but it’s not. Let’s just say that’s that that it itself is like what they’re experiencing during sex, so yeah, they feel it. They actually feel something but it’s not like you know it’s not like physical touch that solid and here And some people would say grounded it’s not quite that tangible so to speak but it’s Paul 70 to 80% of the full tangible human experience. Essentially that’s pretty significant if you think about it because it sucks so she experiences men when she’s making love in a real physical sense And he experienced her if there’s reincarnation and possibly to some degree even if there’s not in a very real physical sense, yeah he actually felt her and he was able to conjure her. He was able to conjure her and actually fill her I mean yeah, it was 70% but it was very satisfying. He felt it. It was like having vaginal intercourse with a woman whenever people want it basically during the day at night, um I am not trying to judge Jack, but I would have noticed I would’ve noticed how I would have noticed I would have noticed I would have noticed, if if I was with a man and I was in a relationship even if I wasn’t straight I maybe never wanted a relationship with a man at least not one that was Quite as open or deep or maybe even at all preferred women even if I could be with men I might’ve preferred women. No I just want to say that, but if I was with a man, I cannot imagine even if I was with a man, not noticing that he was sneaking off to go, read magazines, or be alone And I don’t think Jack noticed. I think he did Jack was possibly far more possessive a flat then people realize you have to be a little suspicious so they keep saying Linn was so possessive lamb was so jealous lamb was so possessive he was so jealous he was so obsessed. His family thought he was obsessed. You know his family was worried And they may have worried that things were getting to be weird. They may even use the word obsessive, but you have to be careful with a lot of that because some of that could just be narcissistic projection that’s turned into a historical narrative for people to consume so Jack was the one who was obsessed with lap Even though he didn’t pretend you don’t even know, he pretended otherwise in reality he actually may have been the one who initiated things with them even though it’s sad to be backwards, Lem’s says it’s not, and you know what it could’ve even happened the other way around and I’m still could’ve been straight but that’s not what I’m seems to say happened and I think that’s possible so it seems like Jack actually was the one who initiated the sexual part of the relationship an alarm tried to make it some thing just like with women how men will come onto women and be like let’s hook up and then the woman might say what are we together and the guy is like well not really that seems to be what jacked it and he did that with a lot of people not just Jack not as lead probably not just other men to, but with women that was his go to way of acting to be very aggressive and come onto people and then be like no no no I’m not you know I’m not looking for something serious I’m just looking for you know whatever I want to say it is 100% and so that’s sort of what he did was slap seemingly it was that he was like oh no, we’re not together are you? I’m not like that stop talking about that. That’s disgusting to me You know don’t ever bring that up with me again and then lemon dropped it hundred percent dropped It was like well fine I’ll just be friends with you then because I guess we just have friendship see you I’m thought it was friendship he really dead like actual friendship that was totally asexual. Yeah I don’t think that Jack didn’t know on a certain level that line was straight And that he wasn’t trying to sort of manipulate Lem’s’s mind so he offered Lem’s who was nerdy and asthmatic friendship that was totally asexual and platonic and then was like fine. Let’s have friendship that’s cool I’m lonely a lot I would love to have a friend and then Jack’s like OK but then up at the same time I just want I want you to know man that I support you And even though you know we’re just friends you know I support you fully and your decision to be homosexual so you can you can you know give me oral sex if you want and I think you should and you know you really should and I want you to and if you don’t do it, I’m gonna keep pestering you to do it but so you gonna give me oral sex but we’re just friends and that’s basically what happened and then One was like well you’re not straight you know and Jack was like what are you talking about? I’m very straight I’m just you know trying to support you and I’m tense and yeah you know I’m just doing you a huge favor and you know you can look at it however you want Because Jack saw that he had some thing special so it was like you can look at it however you want you know, but really in reality it is this is just satanic friendship and I’m tense and I’m just supporting you, but you know you know we’re close man we’re real close so then he got to have this sort of closeness with One that he wanted, but then he also could stab him in the back, and there was no accountability, other than outside the bones of a sort of Usery friendship, and he could get sexual favors from Latin whatever he wanted it because he was straight. Lame was gay in the narrative that he had going, and Lum was desperate to be his friend That’s not the reality of the situation. Jack was the one who was obsessed with him. Jack was the one who instigate everything Jack was the one who pestered him during the war to talk to him again Jack was desperate for love his friendship absolutely possessive of him absolutely jealous over everything that he did. That didn’t have something to do with him He use lemons, good nature to make limes entire existence about him, and let him win along with it to appoint, because Liam felt that he was Jack’s husband, and it was honorable, and on a certain level, Jack was really sort of a bitch. Jack was a self-absorbed, bitchy, shrewish wife, who uses her husband and Boston around and whines and pouts, and causes trouble if she doesn’t get her way and is an absolute bitch and he was a horrible bitch. A horrible narcissistic fucked up ass disgusting bitch But lame dealt with it as best as you can like lots of men do you know women do the same thing in toxic relationships? It’s like they just put up with it because they’re tired because society condones that behavior in some cases and so he just put up with it But that’s the thing you have to realize that when you read these things about Lambo he was obsessed I could actually be the other way around because Jackson narcissist, and that family is very narcissistic and no one’s quite figured that out yet not really.

So so that’s the thing Jack was of a real piece of work and no it’s impossible them could’ve been happy with him and he said something that almost seemed like that but then you have to put on your thinking cap especially nowadays and realize if there’s something wrong it’s not possible What he said could not have been meant the way people have taken it because it it was impossible. It was an impossible thing. Jack was a horrible friend and lamb actually was there he experienced it, so then something must be a mess.

But no, I I can’t imagine how Jack missed the fact that Linn was constantly leaving, and it really was far more often than you think. Apparently, no one noticed either who wrote about stuff or felt the need to comment on things, but no longer disappear he would for hours or he got he would row Raul and Louis Bayard‘s novel based on his perceptions is somewhat aware Him but it’s miss categorized as a sexual or cold and standoffish or something different so this week but that’s not what was happening he was wanting to be alone he would demand to be alone alone at times or he find ways to sort of final over Jack you know get Jack drunk send them off with Jackie Alan, narcissistic bender thinking that he was really kicking limbs ass you know, throwing him off a cliff because he was still stuck with so much delusional and his narcissism, and actually did think that he was being loved even though he he concocted the whole thing independent people could be delusional, but not to the degree that Linn would’ve been required to be That’s a different sort of level of delusion, but a narcissist in the right circumstances can become almost psychotic and thinking that people like them more than they do or oh shit there is you know that they’re more wealthy than they are stuff like that and so and so he would do that his son jack off on a narcissistic bender where he would you know think that I was going to cry his allies out upstairs in the White House because you know he was screwing Judith Exner or Jackie or something and really you know Hit it out of the park when in reality that’s not what was happening is lamb head sort of you found a way to you know babysit him using his own damn life and then he would runoff on his own and think about women yes I’m sorry to have to crash but yes, and we’re all sorry but masturbate to thoughts of women that’s what he would do behind closed doors. That’s why he didn’t want to be with people at times because he was he was having sex with female females in his mind with all one female add here’s a thing Jack was the center of his universe. Jack was he was so depressed after Jack died. Oh no, no, no lamb was depressed far before Jack died. I wish David Pitts had some common sense or understood, or had some decency, and could be more honest about that. That’s also bullshit. He did deteriorate after Jack died, but it wasn’t quite so correlated to Jack’s death the way that he assumes that it was a Lem’s was clinically depressed and you can debate these things this isn’t you know you guys act like you have the stone cold hard facts it’s bullshit and we’re talking about someone else’s psyche here And you don’t have any evidence so just shut the fuck up jack but we will go ahead. I’ll I’ll tell you anyway no he was depressed lamb was depressed before Jack died. He was depressed before Jack died. He was depressed before Jack died. Lamb was depressed before Jack died.

And he got worse after Jack died, but it’s not because he was madly in love with Jack it’s because he had a horrible life You have it, that he was perfectly happy until Jack died. That’s not what happened he deteriorated more after Jack died. He was never in love with Jack, and instead he got worse after Jack died, because Jack was his meeting. Jack was his meeting and it wasn’t that he was happy, it’s that he was excepting and resigned, and Jack was sort of like his duty his meaning taken care of him, keeping him alive, trying to sort of further the cause so speak he was actually thinking he was contributing to society and history by helping Jack, and so he thought no that was my that was my one shot at having anything normal or happy about my life. I was screwed up, fucked up, sad, tragic, gay men, and we don’t have happy lives And so Jack was all I will ever have most likely you know I’ve tried being with other men and they lose interest and I don’t know why but they just do they all think that I’m cold and annoying and that I’d rather wake up alone, but Jack never felt that way Jack made a big difference in my life Jack cut me company. You know he bother me all the time he was obsessive and possessive and controlling, and his entire existence may have had something in his mind to do with me that’s what he would’ve said if he was being honest, although he didn’t love me that deeply, but he sure liked my energy. He should like to have him around him, so so Jack didn’t care that I would sneak off that’s the thing there’s a reason of bringing this up. Jack didn’t care that I would sneak off at night to go read you know dirty girly magazines and think of women checked in care Jack was cool with that Jack thought you know that’s just men being man ain’t nothing wrong with that Because Jack was bisexual and an idiot but I would go off and if you think about girls and he just thought whatever it’s a magazine he’s probably just gonna sit there look at it and then think of me you know and that’s not what was happening he was thinking of the women, but Jack being a narcissist some people who are not even trusting might not think about it but narcissist don’t necessarily either and so he’s just like whatever you know That’s cool it’s funny I’m sorry but it’s sort of funny and so no Jack didn’t care you know when I’m stopped talking to him during the war Jack does Hunter them down rode his mother demanding lab contact him again didn’t feel needy or pushy doing that just felt entitled and angry that Linn wasn’t more in contact with him, but Lamb took that as a sign somehow that Jack And that Jack was somehow his only chance at happiness so cycle Jack didn’t care. Jack was my one shot you know thanks to him I was never lonely here he let me wander off drunk and in my room alone and didn’t bother him at all I guess that’s love for you you know that’s, how it works the good ones let you you know see it in a way it’s reversed. Isn’t that weird because loves the one that’s not able to be faithful in a way to Jack and that’s for Jack is like his mother but no one‘s ever going to realize that possibly the way things are going, but because yeah, love would run off and he had his mistress so to speak, but no Jack didn’t notice Jack was just as happy as a clam because he was a narcissistic buffoon and it is funny I’m sorry but it’s funny for some reason and yeah I’m sad that was Loveland thought they had some thing you know he thought that he had misunderstood and he thought the Jack’s narcissism in that way. This is my interpretation. I’m not lame and this isn’t Lacey, but my interpretation is that he thought like he thought that Jack’s narcissism was love he misunderstood and thought that Jack’s narcissism was somehow understanding and tolerance in some sort of trust and bond that they had, and that the jack was really sort of keeping him because he was gay, and he just needed a man who would understand him, and that he had to be alone at night. Sometimes you know and think about girls, you know, cause the other men he would date it would always cool off with because they realize that he was doing something weird and they couldn’t figure out what it was, like Raul and Louis Jordans are Jordan Louis or whatever is Boyard or whatever his name is no saying, Raul saying I don’t know I’m just wanting to be alone all the freaking fucking time to most men. Yeah, most people would be irritated by that because he did he would wander off. You be surprised he’d wander off for hours. It’s a no, no I can’t you know be with you tonight I’m just not in the mood you know you’ll have to just be by yourself or people would wake up with him and he kind of get out of bed like you why are you in my bed with me this is gross, I went to bed with you last night and I tolerated being there man but now in the morning I’m just kind of grossed out by it and I just kind of want you to go away because he was straight so yeah that’s all that he would be like towards his boyfriends and then they would think this is weird why is Lum trying to kick me out every morning, if you know what I mean or why is he so weirded out by falling asleep together? Why is this so strange for him all the time or more to the point why does he never wanna fall asleep together at all? Why does he always say oh no, I mean we can sometimes I guess but I’d prefer to have my own bed in my own room. Do you know I guess we can be together? It wasn’t about Jack, so it was like yeah I guess we could you know sometimes I sleep with Jack in the same bed too. He might have sad but it’s not the norm and I prefer that I prefer having my own bed in my own room. I’m just you know I’m a very private person, so nothing personal Because you were straight and so acting gay because he was confused and very eccentric and very upper class old money and so he thought oh no no I’m gay see look at me I’m gay. I’m holding my pinky up. I’m very gay but um. yeah it’s night. I want to be alone just give me my own room just let me do my own thing I’ll see you tomorrow at the art museum right drinks tea he he But we’ll just we’ll converse will see each other. It’ll be great. It’ll be fun darling but tonight yeah I just want to go home and you know just sort of be alone I mean it’s absurd and no no one else tolerated it. He literally could not find another homosexual man who would keep him company And get attached to him because they all found him obnoxious because that I was just like I’ll see you tomorrow at the art museum I don’t really wanna fall asleep with you or anyone else just cause I need my alone time and you know I’m gonna go home and be straight after I stop seeing you that’s what I really am But you know what catch up tomorrow no, no man in the right mind would ever tolerate that with him.

I know there’s no way to confirm that he was even homosexual for a reason. There really isn’t these friends saying oh he definitely was no but he wasn’t open to talking about it. No I’m I mean come on there’s something weird about that. Grow up!

I know that’s what was happening and they didn’t necessarily think that it was Jack because it wasn’t like I don’t wanna be with you because I feel attached to someone else it was more of an you get away from me like you get away from me it wasn’t like her I don’t think we should be doing this it was more just you get away from me I just want to be alone. Thanks so much and that’s not about Jack it was born. It was more obvious to them of that but know that they were it was do you even wondered if he was asexual actually I know he wasn’t him but this is the season where do I go with us, but no they they they picked up on it because they weren’t narcissistic and then he thought well Jackie no jack help me company because Jack kept calling. Jack kept bothering me and I think he thought that that was somehow love potentially that’s my interpretation and that it was just said they had some thing special. You know Jack understood his needs that he needed someone who would sort a hunt him down and not hold him accountable and not expect him to be faithful. It wasn’t that it wasn’t that lame wanted to not be held accountable necessarily he wasn’t necessarily a narcissist at all, it was more that he somehow thought that Jack understood him or something possibly that they had some sort of special bond, you know I’m keeping Jack alive and not and keeping him from him die dying and not caring about the fact that he would sleep with other people was his way of loving Jack so I think he thought for a while, at least that they had some sort of special understanding and no that is not what you think it’s the opposite. It said they somehow didn’t really have a special understanding. But Jackie is a narcissist alarm was off his rocker, not actually insane, but just crazy ideas about himself, and so they really were just perfect for us other because one was a in La La Land and Jack was a delusional, narcissist. I know Lacey is not awful and her she is the opposite of Jack and I can see why if there’s reincarnation Elton John is so angry because I mean it’s absurd yeah, he was sleeping with his wife. He was sleeping with his dead wife. If there’s reincarnation one had over a sort of absurd state of mind, he was molested, and then after that because he was so traumatized, he and his dad died, and they lost their their money, and then he was molested, and there was so much trauma that he started to sort of if there’s reincarnation regress spiritually back to his old old mind and it was just he was suicidal and distance from reality. Yes, he was suicidal as a teenager. Nothing that’s long before Jack died that over happiness that you see all the time is somewhat fake. He was somewhat happy, but he also had some very dark moments and if there’s reincarnation in those dark moments, he probably was talking to Lacey in his spirit she could have easily gotten him through his entire life, talking to him sleeping with him, keeping him company, and then he gives credit to Jack and she’s very understanding of the whole thing, but that’s where things went way off the cliff if there is reincarnation in the illuminati, and I’m here to warn you about that. You keep persisting with the bullshit like you did with Carbandy last night and we’re in deep shit I’m serious OK? Because it’s literally impossible. You’re asking for the impossible you you can’t keep wearing away on the brakes like that. Spiritually if there’s an illuminati, it’s not safe what you’ve done to her is evil enough you don’t need to do more evil that’s absurd! And if there a Kennedy is trying to harass her that’s problematic for those people and whoever supports them you’re going to wish that you hadn’t done that you really are. Because the thing is if there’s being carnation, you are actually picking a fight with ancient Egypt. I’m not hyping this up right now. We’ve had a pandemic we’re at we’re at war this isn’t hype. Some people are fucking idiots absolute fucking idiots.

The truth is, if the Kennedys really are that powerful they won’t be for long. They are living on borrowed time at anyone who humors them too much will regret it. They really will. You’re destroying the American empire because you’re too upset that Linn Billings has moved on or you’re too upset that Linn Billings isn’t who you thought he was I mean you’re childish nitwits and then you expect everyone to take you seriously and for some perverse astounding reason they do.

You’ve ruined the democratic party in the last five years and no I don’t care how charming wall Sarah says they cannot make up for what you’re doing right now if there’s reincarnation, you are literally trying to sodomized emperor Constantine you seriously think that you can take him down when he’s dead and convince him and everyone who knows better that he wants it when you’re nothing more than a bunch of babbling, buffoon, narcissistic jackasses? And that’s what you are if that’s what you’re doing that’s what you objectively are this isn’t an insult it’s a scientific evaluation of your worthlessness you poor, fucking sods. And I feel sorry for you inside of you when you’re dead, I have hopes, for I don’t know that Jack chose to be an asshole and destroy his entire reputation on the other side. He’s a joke if there’s retardation, he’s a total fucking joke, because he’s a Japanese peasant who is fortunate enough to be raised in wealth, who took himself way too damn seriously, and started thinking. He had profound insight into stuff that he doesn’t even understand talkative late at all potentially. Who the heck who sings he knows everything it’s OK those people that you hate those mouth breathers who go on and say hi I know this and then I will drop him off. He’s that person but he’s Japanese if there’s green carnation he’s an obnoxious little idiot, who thinks he knows everything if there’s reincarnation he’s annoying to talk to you because he acts like an expert on everything and I am Ernest Hemingway no but nobody knows everything like he does or boy he’s gonna tell you and he tries to be so damn charming about it but if there’s reincarnation, he comes off like himself right this stodgy, sexy sort of Irishman from Boston and then because he’s full of shit and he’s not really that sexy or sophisticated in reality that was an act That his parents taught him because they’re narcissistic themselves. He starts breaking into a Japanese accent and then it’s it’s there goes that and so then he start saying things like he knows he’s gonna tell you like he’s an expurt on sax.” says Hemingway.

Elliott cracks-up laughing.

“ it really is quite an experience if there’s reincarnations and there might not be if there’s not, God might’ve turned him into that if he’s been harassing with Lacey anyway just to teach him a lesson but because she doesn’t know shit, she doesn’t know if there’s ring carnation or not, and God might be offended enough, by that alone, that he literally turned Jack in true Trapanese man just to teach them a lesson that didn’t work, but if there is reincarnation, and even so it’s quite an experience, the woman who died in Pittsburgh because she she was a psychologist at a hospital I think, and a giant boulder ran into her. It was like construction, and it rolled down a road and she got smashed, she was talking to Jack London out at that site she started talking to him and he was talking to her and all the sudden he morphed into this Japanese version of himself and it scared her because she had thought of him as Jack Kennedy and she was not being from the moment pretty much it was pretty recent she was not prepared to deal with the shift of him being himself, as he actually is in reality, whether that’s reincarnation or part of himself that he’s not honest about that could be expressed that way so he turned into a sex expert and was trying to tell her lots of things in the very Japanese backward accent that wasn’t you know a Japanese aristocrat or even the middle class Japanese person it was a very poor conceited, arrogant chauvinistic, racist, hateful dramatic person possibly bisexual still Japanese man who just thought he knew about everything there is to know about anything else. She was going to tell her a lot of information and she was going to have to listen and he was really sure of himself, and know it was very Trumatic for her, and she had an epiphany started laughing and that was quite a moment for her why he targeted her and they start talking is somewhat unclear, but that I don’t know if he was trying to figure out what was happening in Pittsburgh because that is real lemons, buried and he’s very possessive possibly of laminate even Lem’s‘s dead body but that’s the thing if there is reincarnation yes Rupert Brooke found it quite hilarious to sort of mock Jack’s lack of understanding in his actual backwardness. That’s real by putting a sort of feminine image on Kayla Moin Billings grave which is really is a reference to Lacey and his love for Lacey I am and Jack did not notice that either and no I’m not trying to judge chat cause I was saying a while ago now but it does amaze me. When was the athlete, baffled and confused, but it does amaze me how Jack didn’t notice that lamb was so distant at times it it’s it’s very narcissistic it’s very symptomatic of a narcissist. They just bullshit themselves and lie I guess or some thing, but how does he not notice? It just amazes me it’s still is astounding to me that he just never realized that he was not really mentally physically present and he wasn’t lame didn’t realize that because I think Lem’s just thought it was you know how things are and you know you put up with stuff and whatever but then he didn’t really want some thing deeper with Jack. Yeah, I mean lemons straight so he didn’t really want some thing deeper with Jack said he would say it could jack have kept him company. Do you know if if if Jack had not been a narcissist could you have just been like I don’t know what we have, but you think you’re gay and I could be with a woman so I’m gonna marry a woman, but I’d love to keep you around and you know him that the problem is though with that is that love was not OK lamb was not OK lamb was traumatized lamb was actually straight and he was not OK so he wasn’t really looking for a normal homosexual relationship. He wasn’t looking for something real and functional in that way, because anything like that just was repulsive to him after a while at the very least, he might’ve thought that he wanted it, but then when he got it, it was gross to him and he thought this is just weird I don’t you know I did. I’m staying home today or I’ll see you later and so know if Jack had been a narcissist I think lame lame doesn’t think I’m things. I think that he would eventually have figured out that he wasn’t really gay, but then what would’ve happened I don’t know maybe 11 would’ve stayed single anyway because he would’ve been so scared of himself and then possibly in his 40s or 50s he might have gotten married you know probably do some woman that had been married before and he might’ve been someone’s stepdad I know he went to been abusive but he he might’ve had him oh he might’ve been married for 10 1520 years to a woman and a second marriage, and then he probably would’ve died more content and he was you know cause he would’ve thought that he was totally traumatized by the sexual abuse abuse, that he experienced as a very young teenager. Well yeah he was a child in many ways who was not consensual and it wasn’t just rape and so he was he was very traumatized. He thought he was totally you know weird and gross and it just messed with his head and it was possibly would’ve taken him most of his life to recover, but back then he was lost. Until things became perverted and psychotic in the last 10 years people knew that molestation at least popularly. They knew that it was wrong and insane and evil and during that time there is some progress that was made for people who would experience sexual abuse, so during that time, if I’m had been a millennial, he may have been fine but Then, when he was born at that time, it was a very shameful disturbing thing for a man to experience and a woman to but especially a man because it just was extraordinarily disturbing.

But now I’m still astounded by the fact that so many people who are narcissist, miss stuff like what if you wanna know more about what actually happened to them in his thought process is ask him I just think that he somehow misinterpreted Jack’s narcissism and thought that it was true love maybe not you know true love in the highest sense, but I know it was good as it can get for a homosexual. and yes, there’s a side of Jack, that no one‘s ever analyzed, because Jack was not straight in and there is, there’s a part of his personality that no people have not ever analyzed, and you can analyze it by writing a book about him and let him it’s not possible you need to write an actual book just focused on that part of him and yet you know what I mean people are more focused on what do you live helping pedophiles harm children and they just turned a blind eye to the fact that JFK wasn’t straight? that’s pathetic!. Reminds me of all the criticism you have of that the submarine that imploded your people are the same way. You have four bolts on your dome, the same way the thought shifted intellectually. Our society has 4 bolts on the dome you know, and then we’re still going to go to the depths of the ocean oh Lord, help us please.

I am no it’s not safe because Jack really was not straight and that should be so freaking obvious all the euphemisms that he used with love all the evidence it’s obvious that Linn was in a some sort of sexual relationship. You know it might not have been consensual mom‘s part, but for the for Jack, it certainly was and I don’t know if you I’m so sick of watching historians lie about stuff like that it’s such fucking crap because no, they’re not their standards aren’t that high, the clearly just intimidated by some organization Coffe Coffe or their or they’re cheap and flimsy and out for their own personal gain I don’t know what it is, but let me tell you it’s dishonest and it’s pathetic. Jack might not be a positive person. He might be a narcissistic, but he was definitely not straight either and whether those are two in the same or different things you could debate that right?

But no, I would just like to know because I don’t think Olivia is a narcissist. I think she’s probably normal and I don’t think Cheryl’s necessarily a narcissist either. I think there’s some narcissism in them but I don’t think they’re pure narcissist and I don’t think Mary was either, what is it with you people having this idea That you can change Bobby I don’t get it and I’m honest Hemingway I find it fascinating. I think a woman could think that when she’s a little girl or a teenager when she reads about you guys reads about to Kennedy, she can think of someday I’m going to grow up and they’re going to meet me and boil shows up in the same way that you think is a child that you’re gonna be an astronaut or a movie star or the next Ernest Hemingway some people could actually be that gifted or that rare that privileged unless if you’re a genius saw your Billie Eilish essentially metaphorically speaking it’s not likely that you’re gonna be that much of a rockstar it’s not likely. Why would you hang onto those illusions so that you’re going to be the Cinderella of the Kennedy family past a certain age I mean it seems like Taylor Swift had a moment where she kind of was half thinking that and half not him where it’s like no I know I’m gonna date a son and maybe I’ll really you know. Wow them because I’m so different and she is so much different. She’s both somewhat privileged if not very privileged and Very intelligent and very unusual. I could see her thinking maybe I’m an exception and I’ll really make this work but then it didn’t work and I think she was only half serious and then she kind of let it go somewhat am I would be surprised if she still somewhat processing that experience, but she still under 40 so Olivia is older, Cheryl was older Mary was older two and I don’t mean old but they’re older how the hell at that age do these women think that they’re going to to be with these men don’t understand I had multiple marriages and let me tell you I could be faithful, I really could I could and women knew that I was complicated I cheated, but I was not in capable of monogamy There are people who are complicated like that, but that’s not the Kennedy mythology. The Kennedy mythology is that they’re always going to cheat no matter what there’s no track record of them being stable in that way they’re always going to cheat and not even like they could get confused and have a an eye that looks around the room. No they’ll actually sleep with people you know there’s some people like or it’s like well my husband has a wandering eye, but I know he would never sleep with someone and it’s true that the husband never would that’s not even know these people just don’t they don’t keep their legs together as men they spread their legs every time the sun shines. It’s it’s absurd and I just would like to know how women keep falling for this and yes, I have an interesting thing there that I’m going with slightly women do fall for each other not sexually but as friends thinking oh, you’ve had problems with other people and you’re an asshole to everybody you’re an absolute mean girl you’re a real freaking jerk but because you’re Regina George out and your father invented toaster strudels I am going to be your best friend and you’re going to just love me women fall for that too. Is it the same thought process do you guys sincerely think you’re going to be different because I wonder what’s up with some people like me it’s different even some men who cheat is different it’s like oh he’s a cheater but he says he’s changed. He says I don’t know what him but I wonder, especially Bobby’s not straight. I wonder do they do some thing with your femininity? Do they play with your head and some extraordinarily sophisticated way? This is this is Ernest Hemingway asking this what are they doing to you? How do they convince you that it’s a safe thing to get so intimately involved with him and let your guard out I don’t get it and I’m Ernest Hemingway, but it baffles me and if that’s over that’s what we’re gonna spend the rest the day doing. Lacey is making a beautiful French stew And they’re cleaning their house and they’re having a nice sunny day at home and I just want to remind you this is close to F Scott Fitzgerald‘s birthday if she is mistaken, don’t keep dismissing the thought that she could actually be being allowed to be with the dead And it might not be lame. If if you’re positive that it’s not lame, then be mindful of the fact that it’s someone and she doesn’t know and she’s been cruel. He fooled into thinking that it’s him and it’s not her fault necessarily at all so keep that in mind and if you and if you can’t, there’s something wrong with you most likely it’s invalid your invalid because it’s it’s that you’re an invalid. I mean you’re ridiculous and not invalid and since we’re actually invalid mentally emotionally, you’ve made your an invalid because there’s no action to it. It’s just fucking bullshit.

Oh, so that’s the thing though that just keep that in mind I just wanna remind you it is lame but if if you can’t at least air on the side of caution and I said Islam, yeah I’m saying that but I’m saying it was a very certain aspect where I’m dead and if she’s not hearing me 100% I’m covering my trucks covering my ass. I’m covering myself and no she’s not stupid. It would be almost impossible for someone to discern, and in the circumstance of they might actually be impossible so she’s either been horrifically cruel he attacked, possibly by Satan himself, but that doesn’t mean that she’s not with someone who’s dead anyway, or she actually is with him and what if I’m actually telling you that she’s with him why can’t you handle that? No she’s with them and if she’s not then no this is fact and I am in as Hemingway she is with someone else.

And yes, I’m sorry foot hurts your ego but that man rather probably is rather impressive and so it could be Michael too. I left him out before you know it could be Michael it could be a Louis. It could be Harold. It could be Elliott no I don’t care how impressive they are. That’s who it is she heard Elliot’s voice, her family does zone in Normas, the large oil reserves and her father really could be Tom Banks. Sorry that bothers you so much. I’m saying that so much tongue-in-cheek get a fucking grip.

But I would love to know just just remind you know if she is with that she’s possibly wanna move to North Oaks in her 50s Holland either in her 70s or 80s and Louis and her will run off into the sunset or who knows what but you’ve got a sort of grow up here folks OK or if she’s actually was lame and then I don’t know it’ll be interesting to see if her family gets blown up on a trip to London or what happens Him and I mean that I wouldn’t be shocked if on a plane in the next 10 years on a family vacation to Great Britain if they’re in some sort of terrorist attack and everyone on the plane, miraculously is ready for heaven and they all go I would not be surprised if that’s if that’s gods idea for the next 5 to 7 years mark my words oh and that’ll be quite the story won’t it because then what will Kate and William do will they be sad? Yes, if there is an illuminati though, how sad will they really will they really be probably not a sad as they be about somethings or Charles yes or all of the above yes, right I suspect that I’m covering myself again with that one but no no they’ll be upset, but not as upset as they might be with. Somethings yes about about certain things so people might even find it sort of funny if that’s literally what happens and then I try to double check and be like did we plan this or is this just what happened and if it was totally out of their reach they don’t think they think it was a coincidence I think they think it was a very good joke and sort of a nod from heaven and it might be rather comforting to them so let’s hope that’s what happens but we’ll see. Maybe we should hope for that because who knows him because they be their lives will be perfectly fine and God knows that either way, so I think he’s sorting that one out. Is it too doomed or can we hope that they can be happy legitimately so? But regardless, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that is a little silly to even be having this conversation but we’re having it Olivia, Cheryl, Victoria, Gina, Sheila Miranda Maxine, Sally Jane Joni, Sarah Kimberly, Catherine Kathleen Corey Corey Andra, I mean I don’t know Macy Lacey Lucy I would be surprised is that the same Lacey is the Lacey Banks over here but there could be another Lacey that Bobby slept with, let’s see Leslie here at Harriet Henrietta on how well Hortense you never know they could be a Hortons in there to Greta maybe even a a Gretel I don’t know Gertrude Gina was there a Gina, Joe, Joanne, Jocelyn I wanted like that there’s a Jocelyn seems like there be a Jocelyn, Ashley, Jennifer I thought there’s got to be there’s other other who else Vicky I think I said Victoria OK Gretchen oh wow Heather him back I know I said Kimberly Cheryl seashells and unusual name slightly somewhat and it is intrigues me that you’re married to Cheryl Emily I would’ve anticipated an Emily necessarily, but you married her to Adam Mary Was there ever an Emma anyway I am Cora Nora anyway I wonder in all those people how does how do you say things that they’re different how do they think that they’re different how do you people imagine that you’re so freaking different what is it?” says Hemingway.

“ part of it is that I am speaking from an observational perspective. Part of it is that these people are like Olivia they’re often very sweet there often a little bit like Lacey in the sense that they’re very of the mindset that you’re supposed to be nice to people and so they’re very polite. Olivia is possibly a real sweetheart, as a lot of these women are really nice usually at least to appoint and so they have that mindset where it’s like. Oh you know I got to be nice and smile and say hi I mean Taylor Swift is kind of like that too but then unlike Lacey, it’s not just about getting along with people and it is in a way but it’s like there’s a mindset with it so it’s sort of like they hear things and they take them a little too seriously so it’s like oh no I mean, Bobby is like I Kennedy and they cheat but I can’t really be what’s going on they think they can’t really be the full story. There Hass to be some thing else to it. There has to be some there Hass to be something further going on him, so… then they kind of think behind closed doors when they’re talking with their mother or their friends it’s like oh we’re in the Kennedy is like didn’t you know Bobby love Ethel I mean the idea is it sort of like there’s some thing that we don’t understand and if you just gave them the right if you just if they could just if you could just love them the right way if they could just be love the right way they would be faithful in a lot of gay men think that to possibly and that’s why they believe the bullshit about them it’s like oh no, Jack just needed to be liberated you know if if people could’ve gotten married, he would’ve totally married Lem’s and it’s such as a marriage being legal it’s about what’s popular so there’s that if it couldn’t have gotten him elected, I don’t think he would’ve married him. I I don’t think Jack would’ve married anyone, unless if he had to, to sort of stay in his fathers good graces I don’t think he wanted to marry anybody. I think he was a total playboy asshole and I don’t think he had it in him to marry someone so narcissistic people have that idea that they want to get married I think Jack enjoyed really not giving a damn about anyone or be expected to I think it so just let them have what it takes to be interview. Does Lum have it? It takes to appeal to audiences if he didn’t there’s no way in hell that Jack would’ve married him. He would’ve never even married him that’s a fucking joke.

But people don’t know that Lacey they don’t gay men or just like if you could’ve only married him because somehow loan was healthy and it would’ve been so healthy or they’re just like oh you know I mean, if I could just get Bobby from China that he would be happy there bronze is what I want to say but I’m not saying that But it it really is stupid it really is but that’s the maybe they’re not morons but it’s just it’s so stupid. It’s so stupid him and I was trying to sound like someone and that’s not really the way Lacey talks so anyway him but they sort of it is sort of moronic. I mean it’s completely ridiculous, because how do they come to this conclusion I don’t know I don’t know I mean it’s crazy there but also I think it’s a kind of vast illusion because I think a lot of a lot of Americans. A lot of people have delusions like that, especially in the middle class to be honest even if they’re wealthy, middle-class the upper middle-class Because they just they do that they are happy. Their parents love them and they’re well bred enough in the middle class to be able to think that somehow it’ll all work out reminds me of trailer park pretty and she is more middle to lower middle class I think she would be OK with me saying that But I can see some of the same thinking in her and it works because she’s just like I’m gonna clean my house. I’m gonna use the mop and I’m just gonna keep washing it and I’m never going to get bugs and it’s gonna be amazing and we’re just gonna keep going in style gonna be great and yeah it works out for her because with it in her case, it’s like hard work pays off Which is something that our parents can teach us which is something that society teaches us. It’s like you keep going and you’ll be fine but some people don’t either hear that or they don’t internalize that who are not in the middle class and if that’s not what they choose to do but that’s some thing that people middle-class culture learn it’s like you work hard it pays off and that works for us but then we hear other things that don’t work like oh people are all decent for the most part. You know you have to give people the benefit of the doubt and you do to a certain stunt, but we Hear that and then we will somehow have a plied it to the Kennedys in our quiet private mythology in the middle class and so on and if you notice, but a lot of the women, he marries in a lot of that he probably has affairs with are not upper class old buddy I’m not even sure upper class old money likes him usually which fascinates me because Rachel Ward didn’t go home with him. She went home with David and Lacey has refused to have anything sexual to do with Bobby and he’s tried Which is interesting because it’s not just like it is it’s not that he’s a tractive it’s that there’s something and he is a little short possibly for both Rachel Lacey but I don’t think that’s entirely what it is. I think there’s something about them or they’re just like that’s a no Where is to middle-class woman it’s he still seems enticing because there’s something that we’ve learned I think where it’s just like you never know maybe I can make this work I don’t know where were you? I don’t know what is entirely, but I swear it’s something that we heard in private where we think we could make it work we really do it’s different with us And it’s not but there is some thing that we picked up somewhere and this is a thing I realize that Lisa, growing up in an apartment was meaningless based on her parents and their life choices, and who they are as people her father has Lawrie announced in the good earth recently that he’s going to be a millionaire, he’s been a millionaire or been close to it many times over the last like 10 to 15 years I don’t know why he was being so loud and pedantic but it acting like it was a huge deal when I would say almost everyone his family is a millionaire other than him But that’s a family that raised her and so am I coming to realize that it’s pretty much just it’s it it’s like it’s it’s us. It’s a subculture they have their own social mores. They have their own perspective and they’re within the culture of the United States but no even if it doesn’t seem like she’s upper class in a way it does and in a way it just is who she is and so, you have to think of her when you relate to her in that way to understand where she’s coming from so no it’s not she’s mean they wouldn’t touch people in her in her class for the most part don’t seem to want to touch Bobby with a 10 foot pole I don’t know but it’s a no for them I don’t know it seems like women in the upper middle class in the middle class. He is like catnip I 10 you know it’s interesting. I tend to think women in the lower classes are a little put off by him to even lower middle class like if trailer park pretty was single she’s pretty I think you probably go for her cause she’s kind of his type I’m serious eight. I don’t think she would sleep with him if she was single I don’t you should be interested because I think she knows better somehow. I didn’t necessarily myself, and there are other people who might not have known who I would say are far more middle to upper middle class. I was somewhat lower middle class in my background, but enough middle class that I was capable of falling for him, possibly at one point and I don’t know why but for some reason to us he’s just like the coolest and I don’t know I don’t know the lower classes seem to understand that it’s a bad idea and that he’s not gonna change and they’re just gonna get screwed over the upper classes seem to think that he’s a joke to be honest and I think some of them feel bad about that even a at least in that way that he’s a joke. But to the middle class he is just like the coolest and I think he Tunstall are those women in Auburn middle class middle class I think Mary was more probably upper middle the middle strictly so I wonder if it’s more of the the upper middle class. Am I so yeah for some reason if you’re a Taylor Swift or Olivia or even me like a yuppie he he’s very appealing. I think Chris thought that him and Diego you know is the third Cyrano more appealing to Lacey the same way that he appeals to the upper middle. And I think that’s part of why they thought it was so annoying and decided to be so cruel to her. I’m starting to really genuinely believe thinking I’ve been watching her she’s trying to pick out a pattern of plates and she keeps trying to figure out where everything is made. Lum had her buying land cruiser. Like the makers of the Dutch oven enamel coated like a set from them but then she discovered that the plates were made it most likely in China and she’s just like that’s a no but she’s dry and then to roll of Copenhagen and Mizan and she’s thought about getting a couple of other friends, but she refuses she refuses to settle and she wants some thing I made in the country that’s not in Asia or that’s typically considered Third World because she has reasons and she also doesn’t want it to be colored blue because that’s an appetite suppressant so she’s in sort of a problematic place right now she grew, grew up, eating Pfaltzgraff, a Pfaltzgraff plates from her parents, white I actually think they still sell the pattern. I think she’s thinking about Spode but then that’s blue but we’ll see but I’ve been watching. She really is this tough Scandinavian woman who is aristocratic. Him or is that going with that? I guess just it’s it’s not what I thought and I don’t think she was in love with Christ at all. I think that was delusion on his part narcissistic delusion, and I think Diego was obviously part of the reason he thought that, but no I mean they were channeling, Michael and she’s obviously very lady like and sweet but I mean she’s really not Chris’s type and he’s not really her type at all but he believed that, and so did Diego because they’re narcissistic and they’re upper middle class through yuppies and I think they thought that somehow they really arrived and that she’d really like falling for them they they were just really delusional and wanted to flatter themselves into thinking that it was real, and get totally narcissistically high off of it but that kind of intellectual conceit is very common in the circles that I traveling so to speak. And truth it’s embarrassing. He’s worth 67 million most she has a dozen relative that are worth that much room and there’s plenty people in his in her family that are worth that much at war and it’s just sort of pathetic because they didn’t join the illuminati. They didn’t sell their soul. They still have a private life and he doesn’t. And they are old money and he’s not. I am so that’s the problem him he he’s not Michael Rockefeller, and she was in love with Michael. There’s no way that she was ever in love with him or Diego in reality she was in love with Michael. I am on the channel him. OK Diego and Chris channels Michael’s residual energy and it was residual and it was intense where they were broadcasting from often and so they were and they visited Pantico and they visited the breakers as queer men who were in a sexual buddy ship will say I’m not like crazy in love with other, but they were you having a laugh you know and I think because they did that together, they were able to sort of clock themselves in his energy and his residual energy. And so then they they were able to fool Lacey, because she was desperate and sad. oh, and that’s the thing and then she saw through that and that was the end but they have yet to realize that she has no interest in them at all I mean, she hasn’t had anything sexual for them and have nothing sexual is happened in reality it all in any realm at all for over seven years it’s sad actually because I I think Krystal thinks it’s funny to laugh at her crest not Krystal. Chris. And I and I think that he doesn’t that he doesn’t have the ability to sort of let go of it because it was such a high, feeling so superior to her even if Chris is somewhat innocent, it was still such a narcissistic high for him. And for Diego, I mean it was salivating to his ego. But that’s the thing it’s not fake so that’s sad because if there’s an illuminati in the an the an MS, NBC news room, they are still totally full of crap. And I think that’s part of how Jack Schlossberg got his moment. Because they operate off the same table so to speak so if MSNBC has a total shit face how fast view of her they will influence the DNC to also be confused about some thing.” says Erin.

“ so you really would not have been attracted to me at all. It was sincerely, just because I was acting like Michael!?!?” says Chris.

“ yes no I find you physically repulsive now and I doubt that would be different. I’m sorry if that’s cool, but no, I don’t find you. Attractive may be very slightly, but it’s mostly just a no and if if I were to if I were to me who you really are, if there’s an illuminati no even if I hadn’t had to deal with you no I don’t think I would’ve found you all that attractive. I was like no he’s an interactive person but no I wouldn’t have personally wanted to have anything to do with you.” says Lacey.

“ so we ruined your life because we channel someone who is the soulmate of yours and that sounds bad enough but then it turns out that we destroy ourselves because it’s Michael Rockefeller alarm I’m tall and I have glasses oh my gosh Anne you really in and we’re so full of shit and daemonic bullshit and MSNBC and yeah if there’s an illuminati I go through them that’s my power source so yeah I don’t have my own generators like your family does to some weird degree I go through. I have a hook up right and they’re my they’re made a hook up and I I think we are in deep shit because yeah it’s like oh it’s bad that’s evil that’s not good that she really legitimately thought I was someone very different than who I am but then who are these people Michael Rockefeller lamb Billings, Louis yeah and I wonder if I reminded you a little bit of Joe to but yeah it’s not people we should probably just be screwing over him. I am hell personally responsible but because they’ve chosen to sort of let me off the hook to they can’t do anything anymore not much it’s too long, it’s it’s like I’m older my kids are older it was eight years ago I haven’t I haven’t you know an eight year old smile sad that’s my youngest and so yeah it’s gonna damage my kids if I die but not like it would if they were small children so there’s not a whole hell of a lot they can do that’s really gonna be all that and I’m all that crazy tell me to be bad but it’s not as excruciatingly painful so I don’t know and I have older kids do that care about their siblings, so no I just I feel like it’s sort of sad. Do I feel personally responsible yes and I am, but I feel like I do you know what I am Lacey yeah I know I am, but why haven’t they been able to hold me accountable if there’s an illuminati, they should’ve been the ones hold him responsible and they refused to do that and they thought they were being really smart and savvy instead going after you and your family getting people to kill themselves and it wasn’t savvy. It was very stupid but that’s what they thought made sense because they believe that they were elite and aware that you’re not, and that it would show itself over time and it hasn’t. They just look like dumbasses and they’ll probably look even more stupid as time goes on him but that’s OK that’s what they chose. That’s what they chose him so no it’s like yeah I was responsible but then they let me off the hook and now I kind of feel like they’re responsible because no they were supposed to hold me responsible and they didn’t so that’s their choice and know what?!?” says Chris. “ see that’s how that works. I am from the hood. I did go up on the streets and I knew that that’s what would happen if she wasn’t full of shit and her family really was that big of a deal and people were too stupid to except that, and you’re really that pathetic and weak I knew growing up in New York in the Bronx and that Diego knew that he was gonna end up dead possibly and he was just milking it I mean from when we heard he was on like a private plane getting drunk I have a feeling he was having fun before they killed him but anyway, um just living it up. I thought this is my last hurrah. They know that I know that but the thing is I don’t know what to say to you. I knew this would happen. I knew that if I waited long enough if you guys didn’t punish me that I was going to end up getting away with it basically because then it would be on you, so if she ended up winning the Nets it’s on you song to get me to so so much my responsibility Diego was an ass I covered for him. He’s dead right now because I am only worth 6 million I’m not a billionaire my power is contingent on my television show having good ratings I mean what am I gonna do be the next Tucker Carlson I mean he’s making this for himself and tick-tock and otherwise but there’s only so many people to interview you know we’re starting wars and then there’s nobody else so I guess I’m sort of powerless and I’m just play my cards right? I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing I cared about Diego. I didn’t want him to die but he didn’t so now what?” says Chris.

“ my family is not responsible!” says JFK.

“ no I’m pretty sure they are responsible jack to some degree.” says the CIA.

“ but Bobby, but but Joe warned her not to get involved with them.” says JFK.

“ yeah but then you arrange the entire thing so that she would.” says the CIA.

“ Man ACA is on your ass, even when you’re dead dude.” says Olivia.

“ if it was me and carnation fuck you fuck you Olivia Olivia what kind of name is that Olivia? Oh! Oh! Oh boy.” says JFK.

“ you know I would invite Olivia to talk to Jack as a final thought for the day if we don’t come back try to convince if there’s reincarnations people in the illuminati believe in reincarnation talk to this wonderful, sweet Japanese man who you sense and try to convince him to be your husband and be in love with you. I think there could even be some racism involved. Try to convince the sweet Asian man that he should. Love you.“ says Hemingway.

“ I am not going to fall for that but that’s an interesting argument.” says Olivia.

“ I seem so loving and cute ha like a happy little Japanese man I’m not Michael says right cheerful that doesn’t mean that we’re always in a good mood. No I see you just don’t understand I’m a happy person. I am a joyful man but at my core, I’ll kill you if I have to and you were west that you had stayed out of my way.” says JFK.

“ and what was that like if there’s reincarnations fighting in Japan?” says Caroline.

“ oh, so funny to is not a mall they have the wrong and a I knew that the white thing to do was to fight them and teach them a lesson and they learned they are better country for fighting in the war and being wrong learn the lesson.” says JFK.

“ is your accent really that thick Jack?” asks Japan.

“ yes, I have a very thick accent. I barely speak English, but I speak some.” says JFK. “ I have to translate in my own head is not funny if there’s been carnation is quite a track.”

“ so you died, found out that Lopez married to him, and that you were Japanese and then he was straight?” says Elton John.

“ yes, if there’s a incarnation, it was not a shock to find out I was Japanese. I already knew that I knew that in my subconscious. If there’s if those being carnation, I already knew it was Japanese so surprise I was hiding a secret from everyone just like I was hiding the fact that I like man, I was hiding the fact that I was Japanese, I have secrets that was one of my secrets. Did I know that I was Japanese in my subconscious yes, just like I knew I was attracted to men but that’s the thing is if only those being Conieson but if I was you, I knew that I knew I was talked to Matt I know it was Japanese I knew, but we don’t tell us all these things sometimes if we hide them more than somethings more than others, so I die I remember. Oh that’s right I’m Japanese. Oh well cool I like my people but then that’s the problem lamb straight what the hell no that would make me really upset what the fuck? Nova see he’s straight. I don’t know. It’s just stupid shit.” says JFK.

“ what does that feel like Jack or Dad? What does that feel like?” says Caroline.

“ I feel like a loser I feel like a big fucking loser!” says JFK. “ I mean it’s it’s embarrassing to me. It’s very embarrassing!”

“ but it’s not embarrassing anymore.” says Jack Schlossberg.

“ it is embarrassing. When you make a tour for yourself I was a total idiot I thought oh he is so crazy about me. Wow that’s like no that can’t be right because the time I see him and I think I know he’s not interested he’s disinterested he’s bored. He’s only here for the money or he’s only here for the fun stuff but he’s not in love with me this is stupid, and then Isaac no that’s not right that’s painful you go away pain you know because that’s how I was raised. It’s like you don’t you don’t let yourself feel that pain because that’s Pete that’s pain that’s not real him and dad. Love you don’t love you he doesn’t do things are bad not really so when you feel the pain you’ll just ignore it it’s not real, so then it’s like OK this can’t be real that’s right it’s not real and I was a narcissist. Yeah and I was not just distancing myself from my pain. Part of it. Was that too is thinking. Oh no I was fine it’s just not well I feel that weird feeling it’s not real. I know from experience with mom and dad when you feel that rejected is not real.” says JFK.

“ except that probably was real though Jack.” says Olivia.

“ I know and see then I get narcissistic and I think no that’s not right you can’t put me in my place. Fuck you don’t tell me that I was in love with me fuck you and I know better but I don’t like it. It’s embarrassing makes me angry.” says Jack.

“ so are you in love with lamb? Where are you in love with them and is that what bothers you like the losing him or do you just not like the fact that you were so embarrassing?” says a living queer male counselor.

“ so this whole blog is courtesy of you and Diego taking a trip as a queer couple to Pantico wow!” says a reader.

“ that’s kind of hard to believe but even if it’s somewhat close to the truth, that’s wow.” says another reader.

“ oh, no, those those mythologies in Europe about visiting certain places in them being cursed we came up with that stuff for a reason.” says Monika.

“ him know it’s it’s him it’s not I’m mad about I kind of started to get attached to them and I don’t like that I got attached to him. I got attached to my mermaids I got attached a lot of people OK do I love him know I wasn’t in love with him maybe a little OK but I was not straight, so maybe a little bit younger he was like a favor concubine hall sort of like that maybe a little little love for him sort of, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t like I was attached more than I would be to some people who work for me even though I talk to but when you saw getting attached and then also you find out if so, I will go to stabbing you in the back the whole time you don’t give a fuck about you they’re not even your servant they’re just a spy, or some thing is sad if you feel like a fool for letting them know yourself attached, it’s just really embarrassing. It’s like I let myself be attached to you you you jack you fucking jack you are I got a test you and in no way did you feel that way for me no and then see I feel like a loser because of my family you are a huge loser if you are the one who loves the most, my mother got so embarrassed by my grandmother and Nana so I’m trying to say my grandmother is not what I’m trying to say my mother I got so embarrassed by by my father because my father was an ass to her OK he was very mean and he take a vantage of the fact that she love him more and see that she do the same thing to him at times and they do it to a Chata, so am I family you are a loser if you are the one who has the most and so I feel like a fool. It’s like I let my God down. I got a test turns out he didn’t feel anything at all loser it’s me, J Kennedy. I am the loser. I am the stupid one who sauce OK get us is fine turns out no wasn’t turns out it’s a Don’t it’s a joke and a lie!” says JFK.

“ what OK so I guess then you just wanna do that again then right?” says Cameron Diaz.

“ no I’m not gonna do that again but let me tell you something if this Wayne Carnation is the reason I haven’t come back I don’t wanna do it again it was sexuality is allowed in heaven and those being carnation. Oh boy I’m not coming back. I love you sister exist. I’m not gonna come back and do a whole thing all over again phone love find out that I’m an idiot.” says JFK.

“ but that’s a narcissistic tension though jack that’s not like your actual self that you can do that you have to keep that some thing you can get rid of.” says a living gay man.

“ Well, maybe I don’t know we’ll see, but I’ll tell you I’m mad I’m still gonna punish them I’m talking to Paula son for the lies and the deceit and the conceitedness. I’m gonna punish them.” says JFK.

“ what year are you and Jack?” says the CIA.

“ I am he’s a 1975 he’s talking to you from 1975 but we’re gonna leave it there for now I would like to know yes if Evelyn was addicted to drugs in the late 70s he may be about when addiction and that would be one way that he’s trying to punish us by getting him addicted to heroin if there’s if there’s room first reincarnation, he is yes he is trying to hold the British empire responsible for the opium epidemic in a at least China by getting lame addicted. Oh, and maybe there’s not reincarnation of it happen for some other reason but you know that’s an interesting topic we can talk about whether or not there’s reincarnational in the Bible if there is hey, that’s somewhat comical to us. It’s not to jack him, and if there’s not reincarnation, though, then it’s something else that happened And regardless I am going to ask this question of the gay male who is trying to counsel Jack in again just anyone opening it up and then we’re gonna leave it at that for the day how do you people think you’re different do you think that or not do you think that you can counsel Jack, and then somehow fall in love with him or not How do you? How does this happen? Do you care? Why do we care so much about Jack there are a lot of other people that could use counseling who are dead and God councils them but could he use you? I don’t know he could if you wanted to, but would you even be open to that or are you just reserving your love and affection for him because he is what a star Why him and then this is where I get concerned anything that is this man starting to think he can rescue shack him and you know that’s between you and God if you’ve tried to sleep with a ghost out of curiosity from reading this blog that is between you and God really Lacey has not recommended that and she still wouldn’t It’s not a safe thing to do at all but if you have probably pray to Jesus about that for your safety and just in general him but I would like to know why do people think you can do this? Why do you think you can rescue these people I get it I think Aaron could be right that it could be a class thing. I think there could be some delusion involved within the middle class But I wanna know more of the specifics. What is the delusion Erin what is the actual delusion? What are they actually thinking maybe a specific as you want to be I am all ears.” says Hemingway.