“We’re Not That Evil” by Lem

(July 29th, 2024 – Evening)

How did the Nesheims make their money? Well…there’s the oil that started in 2008. They feel comfortable with that because it’s a necessary evil, in a way.

But what pre-dates the oil?

“Lacey! Would you have dated Lem? …In the 1930’s. Like…if you two had been created gay men. Would you have dated him?” asks Kiki Astor, in the future.

“Yes.” says Lacey.

“How open would you have been?” she says.

“As open as was safe.” says Lacey.

“Presuming God creates homosexuals.” says Joel Osteen, not the Joel who Lacey almost dated.

“Yeah.” says Kiki. “So…what if your father raised you not to?”

“I’d run off.” says Lacey. “Like Sebastian Flyte.”

Okay. So…

The thing is…I was straight. I am straight.

Where did the Nesheim money come from?

“Me!” says Gunhild. “I had a great sense of land. I took my time looking around and so did Nils and we specifically went for the land we did based on our gut and analysis.”

“So hard work. Bravery. And the conquering of the Wild West. …And no, I don’t mean Native Americans. I mean the weather.” says Nils.

“Yeah!” says a Native American woman.

“We almost died many times.” says Nils.

“Yeah. But how rich were you before you and your kids invested in the Stock Market?” asks a man.

“We were millionaires, essentially. But we didn’t have quite as much.” says Nils.

“So! Land. Hard work. Intelligence. And saavy investments?” says a reader.

“Yes!” says Nils.

“Oh my God! Diego was nuts.” says a reader. “Dude…not all Old Money is…that rich.”

“Like the Rockefellers?” says someone.

“Yes.” says Nancy. “I’ve realized that.”

“So you invested in like…Boeings in the 1950’s. And what else?” says the CIA.

“Possibly 3M.” says Nils.

“Okay.” says Casi.

“What else!??” says a Republican.

“That’s all I’ll share for now.” says Nils.

Were any of those companies evil? No. Not really. No more than almost anything.

“Do you have any dirty money?” says the CIA.

“Well I feel bad about the racial injustice. …I stole land in a way. …But let’s just say that wasn’t my heart intent. Really!

…Other than that…not much.” says Nils.

“So your $100 million in 2017 is clean money. Like truly clean Old Money.” says a liberal. She closes her eyes and rubs her head. “Who’s idea was this? To attack her?”

“Diego.” says Chris, sadly.

“WHY!?” says the woman.

“He was…struggling.” says Chris.

“ i’m just curious because it’s sad to me that you guys are like not white trash I think so people might think you are because they don’t really understand what real white trash is compared to whatever it is that people are in North Dakota so just to help illuminate things a little bit in a good way Casi what like? What would know like I’m sorry wrong person. What would Casi‘s life have been like or what would she be like if she’s been raised in the Nesheim family?” says Rashida Jones.

“ who is she being raised by?” says Pat.

“You.” says the CIA.

“ we would’ve had a very difficult time getting along when she was a teenager I would’ve had her in and out of psychologists who would’ve been constantly analyzing her, and we would have a very good idea of every possible thing that could be wrong with her psychologically and the entire family would know it’ll be a very open discussion if she didn’t end up this and I’m being honest with you if she was adopted if she’s a sociopath or a narcissist and it’s genetic, she’d probably be homeless somewhere the kids in our family who have severe psychological problems have not done well when they’re adopted unless if they’re like Lacey, I think she could be, but she’s not like that she’s not got severe psychological problems. She’s had depression but I would say if anything we’ve been harmful to her I’m talking about kids that I’m sorry, but came from families that were poor who have serious psychological issues. I don’t know what you want me to say I’m being honest with you.” says Pat.

Ann Coulter laughs.

“ i’m not trying to be heartless.” says Pat.

“Go on!” says a Rothschild.

“ I know what you’re thinking because I’m saying this from the afterlife possibly yes if Lacey is illegitimate, she may have been better off being raised by Jews or would she because she is Norwegian and we are different or you know we just star but you’re free to your opinion there there are there are a lot of people though in our family who have been taken from poverty who have psychological problems Casi who really are not doing well they’re homeless or they’re in some sort of facility or theater behind bars I have a nephew who’s done incredibly well who is adopted? He’s very successful, Lacey if she’s adopted has done well, she’s well off but I don’t think it’s been easy for her. Her mother wasn’t poor though her mother was oh at least middle-class and no I was not actually thinking of Lacey when I said this, but now she doesn’t really fit into that if she even is diligent, and that she might not be right, but if she is no, she doesn’t quite fit what I was saying, and neither does my nephew, one of my nephews but the kids that came from poverty who have psychological problems have not done well, so if you have something wrong with you like clinical narcissism to be honest, you’d probably be in a show you’d probably be somewhere awful you’d probably be in a gutter somewhere after I would’ve tried to raise you I would’ve tried to love you as best as I can but it just doesn’t seem to work out. It’s not that I would have cared about you. It’s not that I wouldn’t have loved you, but it just wouldn’t have works and you’d probably have ended up rebelling against me and hating our whole family and living somewhere in a some horrible situation, so do you have clinical narcissism Casi is there something wrong with you or not?” says Pat.

“ I might be a clinical, narcissist slightly.” says Casi.

“ the no, you would not have done well if you were a total psychopath with a charming personality you might have but as a clinical narcissist, no is it was for this way if you were born into the family as a clinical narcissist, you might’ve been OK if you were born into our family as a psychopath you might’ve been fine as a clinical narcissist who wasn’t born into our family know you probably would be in a horrible place, so I guess you’re lucky you weren’t raised by us then, huh?” says Pat.

“ what did you guys do to screw Lacey up?” says Joel from UND.

“ Her mother can’t answer right now, I’ll answer for her mother. Her mother was extraordinarily anti-dating for evil reasons for religious reasons she raise Lacey this is the quickest thing I can say she raise Lacey not to date, but to be looking for this perfect person, and if she had been raised to be more of a dater, she probably would’ve gone on a date with you just for the experience just to go on a date, so that’s one thing that her parents messed up on was giving her this excruciatingly complex idea who it was that she was looking for the irony is that given Lacey‘s heart and how much she takes things to heart she really ran with it right I’m sorry if Kiki asked her maybe laughing right now because she might find this part. Hilarious if God is allowed Lacey to be with them Because Lacey took it so seriously yeah essentially at this point at you know in her late 30s at 40 she’s with her eternal other half before she’s even dead because she was that heartfelt and fervent in her search for her husband and there was that much of a lack, and there was not much working against her That know at this point, it’s like she is if God is allowed it wedded to a dead man who she’s with for eternity but that’s how intense Lacey took it. Lacey is already a pretty serious person very heartfelt very loving him. Passionate doesn’t describe it because it’s not quite like that. It’s very fervent and so no she took extra extraordinarily seriously and she she is now with Lem.” says Mark Nesheim.

“ what about me? I don’t think I’m a clinical narcissist. I might be narcissistic even have some narcissistic traits, but I don’t think I’m a clinical narcissist. How would my life have been different?” says Susanne.

“ you’d have to be younger or if you were to try to think of who could’ve had you OK yeah if Gudrun had had you as her daughter and raised you in Seattle you probably would’ve gotten really into fashion and went to California possibly Los Angeles in the 60s or 70s or 80s and tried to break into the fashion world I don’t think you would’ve had a drug problem. You would’ve been raised by us and so you wouldn’t have probably done that but you probably would have become very hardened by what you saw you would’ve probably married someone very wealthy some I don’t know some tax person or something, someone who is starting some company somewhere in California and you’d probably be very involved in charity right now probably occasionally hobnobbing with celebrities and living a pretty stylish life maybe you’d be worth it I don’t know 20 million you could give me a billionaire if you guys invested in bitcoin so know you’d be extra EB very wealthy probably living in a mansion somewhere in California with a lot of it. You’re a glamorous friends.” says Pat.

“ I believe that’s possible what did you do to Lacey?” says Susanne.

“ she’s very let’s just say she’s Tom’s daughter biologically for argument sake she is her mother was a very beautiful stewardess who could actually have killed her self essentially with a cocaine overdose in 1986 maybe not but let’s just say that that’s what’s possible because she was so messed up after losing her child she gave Lacey away she possibly visited. Lacey and Lacey didn’t recognize her and it was very excruciatingly. Painful for her to see her and then, I would bet that she just used too much Coke trying to stay awake maybe on an international flight and stay skinny and look pretty and died probably 1986, 1988 and I know she was an extremely pretty woman high cheekbones Norwegian probably very daring, a very romantic person in her own way not quite like Lacey, but there was probably something similar and that’s what’s tragic is that that woman was probably pretty independent and Lacey’s never been parented by someone who understands that part of her necessarily actually, I think Becca did being Norwegian, who were the white little one who raised her, but I mean that woman is not loving to her right now she’s very cold, and there’s always been a problem with her but she did understand Lacey‘s need for a sort of independence and sort of upper class austerity and their emotions in a good way and so that worked out but no, there’s a part of Lacey‘s heart that was never loved, but it’s extraordinarily tragic to a lot of people, but Dad will dead mostly who has her watching it because it’s an incalculable, a horrible thing and her heart exists. It’s fine but it’s as much as any human matter. It’s very sad. It’s very very sad so there’s that but other than that there was I going with that yeah I mean that’s that’s part of what happened Her mother just does was not loving, who raised her in that way, and that’s the thing her mother that would’ve brought her into this life was different person in her head that the mother raised her at the Nesheims are old money, the cross or somewhat old money Tom is the definition of old money in his DNA at least and really in general I mean he was good friends with Humphrey Bogart for a reason so and his sister had a posh you know aristocratic clothing store in Long Beach for a reason as well and that it could very easily be Lacey‘s actual DNA so you think oh you know this wonderful person with us upper class old money DNA combined with us risk-taking you know romantic Norwegian flight attendant on them from the 1980s right early 80s late 70s who could’ve been a model possibly you think wow that would be a really cool person and yeah Lacey is a really cool person but it’s kind of like cooking. There are some people who know how to make truffles taste good oh OK and there are some people who know how to make saffron rice there are some people who know how to cook certain types of shellfish there are some people who appreciate right oysters, or did before that we know earth came to polluted a expensive château Margaux. You know there are some things that are verified and it takes a very refined palate to appreciate them even though once you can appreciate them you understand how exquisite extraordinary they really are. I’m sorry she’s kind of like that. If she’s illegitimate yet, her DNA is pretty cool, but that’s the problem you know you take something that complicated and in some cases, delicate and unique and you can totally destroy it. If you do the wrong thing it’s not simple she’s not a simple person and it could be because of how agreeable she is and how determined and you know independent she is and loving she is it. It seems like she was fine and it still does, but if you knew who she really was and what she was capable of and incredible pain that she experiences constantly on so many levels in a way, I don’t think you’d probably think things went quite that well they just don’t know what they’re doing. they did better than a lot of people might do him because they were old money they were off class they were Norwegian they were Christians. They did better than a lot of people would do but they made a lot of mistakes that were very serious. What are those mistakes? Yeah, I guess just not really loving, who she actually is and then giving her the impression that they were in sort of gilding her and sort of thinking that they loved her and then a time she experienced them loving her but it’s complicated. It’s like they loved her and they made her think that they loved her in a real way but then at the end of the day they really may be didn’t end so it’s like oh no no way that you know my parents love me of course they do. She might’ve thought for years of her childhood, but then, it’s like with and why are you so miserable all the time why don’t your parents care that you know you never celebrate Christmas I mean they had reasons it’s like oh we don’t celebrate Santa Claus because we don’t want you to think that we’re lying to you which sounded so rational to Lacey because it’s like we’re Christians. God is invisible and they want me to know how serious God is and how real the whole thing is but that’s not us really what they were really doing. They were really possibly just being mean but she didn’t know that because the reason was so well thought out and and and well put an intelligent that it was like oh no, we’re just you know helping you be a good Christian and it was sad and very oh, brilliant way that was very convincing, at least until she got married and had her own kids.

 So that’s the thing so it’s like there’s no Santa Claus. There’s no fun and that way for her Christmas morning is just doll. Yeah, Christmas Eve is fun, but Christmas morning is just a nonexistent thing. It was stuff like that that they always chose to do never letting her eat sweets him yet she would end up in the emergency room every couple of weeks because her mother dehydrated her when she had the stomach flu and she was being molested and so she was having a dramatic physical response to being molested and then her mother didn’t know or chose not to take care of her appropriately and so she end up in the emergency room dehydrated on an IV every few weeks missing weeks of school and then the teachers would hate her and the students would make fun of her but then it just was all sudden. It all made sense you know they made it all makes sense, so yeah it’s stuff like that I mean when you talk about upper class old money, people who are usually intelligent, who have a sense of right and wrong maybe but are still messed up and are raising a child who maybe isn’t even theirs yeah it’s sad. it’s very sad, if you’ve been raised by them or you might actually be lost messed up and then that’s why I brought up her mother to begin with because that’s part of it. You have to understand Tom and Margie if they’re her parents we’re very very rare, romantic people I would say Harold Loeb is Lacey’s soulmate for a reason OK The way they perceive things how they see it it’s not common and so the sort of it’s not bipolar. The sort of Zelda might’ve been bipolar, but no Scott wasn’t. Lacey isn’t. Neither was Harold. They can experience love in this very deep, profound way, and so she had so much love to give somebody and it was, no it’s that’s that was what she wanted most and so it’s just sad because I think some people who are a little less like that could’ve handled being raised by her parents but I think that’s what really broke her back. That was the straw that broke her back was when they ruined that for her And that could be why Joel is so bothered right now in the afterlife because no, she had no chance she had no idea how to date she had no idea what she was doing, and it just fucked up her entire life essentially, and it was like drowning for her. I mean she couldn’t figure out how to handle it psychologically or what the hell was even going on And if she did discover the illuminati, that’s part of how it happened was that she was thinking that maybe she found true love and some very eccentric silly way and no she wasn’t. That’s not what was happening but you know, and then you know eight years later she’s married to a ghost as much as person could be married in Heaven.” says a man.

“Anyway. …Her parents might not be great people after all. But…they did get their money the honest way.” says a Minnesotan.

“What’s going on with her tooth?” says Susanne.

“It’s hurting a lot.” says I.

“So if you hadn’t let it hurt…which somehow you could have done? she’d have died!?” says Susanne.

“Yeah.” says an Englishman.

“That was you who she met in England wasn’t it!” says Susanne.

“Yes.” says Lem.

“So there’s no one!??” says Dr. Moritz.

“Yes. It’s extremely unlikely.” says Joel.

“There’s a guy in England who’s married, if badly. …So he’s out-“ starts a man.

Someone laughs..

“There’s a guy who’s in Japan. He’s…just not going to be interested. And he’s all aligned to meet a better match in a few years.

There’s a guy in…Colorado who’s…married.

…Very few aren’t married.

The one or two who aren’t are…headed there…or they’re just too damn hard for Lacey to ever meet. …God can make miracles happen…but free will exists too. And…it’s almost impossible.” says the man.

“Because they’re too…far away.” says Susanne.

“It’s too complicated.” says Louis.

“That’s bad.” says a reader.

“Yeah.

But she’s been aware of it for over ten years to some degree.” says Lem.

“So she’s to be alone. For the next 40 years. Or die. …Because of Jack Kennedy.” says a Christian.

“Yep.” says Kick. “It’s that weird.”

“There’s no one!??” says the Christian.

“Maybe not!!” says JD Vance. “Hey! Have you watched The Ghost and Mrs. Muir or Portrait of Jennie?”

“No.” he says.

“You should! Lots of Christians suffer. …It’s a thing. …Really. …I’m a Catholic now for lots of reasons but one of them is because they theologically account for human suffering. …And you know what else they account for? Ghosts.” says JD Vance.

“So to Catholics…her suffering makes sense.” says man.

“Yes!” says Kamala. “They’re not stumped.”

“So if there’s reincarnation…this is just a weird life. But…there’s probably not reincarnation.” says Jonah Wiley. “What then?”