“Hong Taiji” by Lem

“Let’s actually have this conversation. What was your rank in the US military?” says Matt Nesheim to JD Vance.

“Corporal.” says JD Vance.

“I was a sergeant.” says Matthew.

“His mother and grandmother were child molesters and he’s bisexual. He’s extraordinarily psychologically wounded and fucked-up.” says Lacey about JD Vance.

“Are you molesting your children in any way?” asks Matt.

“Yes.” admits JD.

“Are you doing that for your own purposes or because the Illuminati bullied you into it?” says Matt.

“I am doing that because I feel it is my duty and responsibility to take care of my children. I was icy fat around. I feel like I wanna do a system to reality that your parents aren’t ever going to give a shit about you on that there may not be a God, but that if there is one, but that if there is one, oh he doesn’t often protect you, maybe help you maybe somewhat not as much as he should so you kind of have to learn to fend for yourself Usha joins me in on it um, I don’t know that she would’ve done it, but I bullied her into it slightly to try to sort of get her arm to help the aid it’s really you guys it’s so ordinary it’s like we’re not really molesting them but we do is of an illuminati spiritual process so the kids are sexually aroused using demons. They are conjured by the witches in the illuminati and and and I don’t get anything out of it but the knowledge so to speak that they’re doing it to them, I don’t mean it’s like it doesn’t and it doesn’t really do anything for me in but um but it at but it is definitely makes me feel like I’ve dominated my children and that’s sort of animalistic way where it’s like I’ve already screw them over so they can’t screw us over and then, so basically it is protecting me and my authority over them and then Jesus of allows him the demonic to protect my children so they won’t die. They won’t get sick very often they get better grades. They do better in school and I am the way I see it is that if they’re happy and they’re loved and they feel like they have a happy life then I don’t understand what the problem is I’m just like it’s barely anything. Yeah I molesting them but it’s it’s barely anything and even if they find out someday they’ll never they’ll probably never hate me for it if they do I don’t care because of my mind I’m protecting them. I probably perpetrating more abuse, like I experienced on my kids but him it’s like oh well because it’s protecting him and I guess I get a power trip from it I am but I’m primarily doing it because it is allowed at it allows me to feel better than people because it’s like well most people aren’t you not able to get away with that and be publicly sanctioned and celebrated for doing it on national television but I did that on national television show and I am no one will be the wiser because my kids are going to be protected by the demonic cell and it actually does work there are numerous people who raise their kids that way I am know why people choose to Lester kids necessarily but some people do but I just went with it so I told me I should do it inside I did it and the people I’ve seen that have demonic protection from their children. Their kids are fortunate they’re usually popular and well liked and they usually end up doing really well and keeping the family looking good so it’s like well I don’t know you know like the kids are gonna be protected by both God and the demonic. That is what I might be thinking if I have an old Christian, so it’s like well you know there’s there’s not really a problem because my kids are just being super protected and I am feeling powerful and that’s a nutshell.” says JD.

“ OK so wow, so you have a theological basis that people should molest their children like you you theologically really theologically a sense philosophically believe that that is the upstanding decent good thing to do?” says Matt.

Shake Dat Ass (Twerk Song) by BossMan DLow plays four months ago as JD and Bobby have gay sex. “I am-I am your son JD! I don’t know!? I know I’m bigger than you. We’re just- Just imagine I am your son and you’re angry.” said Bobby to JD.

In This Shirt (Zero 7 Remix) plays.

0:26

And it pauses.

“So um, let’s get down to brass tacks. Do you see yourself as superior philosophically and theologically for your pedophilic predilections?” says Matt.

“I see myself as a superior because I am a-a superior.” says JD.

“You haven’t proven that you’re superior just yet, so I’m not quite buying it but you think that’s totally separate that from any sexual ‘predilections’ you may or may not have?” says Matt.

“Yes!” says JD.

“Could you have done what I did in my tour of duty. Could you have done what I did? Have the FBI and CIA explain it to you or God will in your spirit.” says Matt.

They wait

“OK. It sounds like you’re choosing to let God explain it and that’s pathetic but that’s what we’ll do.” says Matt.

They wait.

“Alright could you have done that yes or no?” says Matt.

“No, not by a long-shot.” says JD.

“Yeah, are you as masculine as me? Do you have as much testosterone in your body as me or no?” says Matt.

“No I do not. I am not as masculine, nor do I have as much testosterone.” admits JD Vance.

“So I am physically superior to you as a male specimen of the human race or no?” says Matthew Nesheim. 

“Ahh no I’m not. I am inferior to you by any white supremacist or scientific standard, if procreation of the species is of any value.” says JD Vance to Matthew Nesheim.

“OK so if I am biologically and in some ephemeral, fallen world way – oh yes, I’m separating those two for a reason. – If I am superior to you, how are you still superior to me because if by a sort of Divine Right of the human race, I am ultimately superior to you as a man how are you superior to me? Where does-where does the plottwist come in? Where do you suddenly become superior to me?” says Matt.

“I am-I am-I’m-I’m starting to think you are sacrificing me and that I’m being made fun of for being poor.” says JD Vance.

“Well, that’s a real one! He’s a quick! That there? Why he went to Yale Law School!” jokes Patience.

“I-I’m not actually trying to make fun of you for being poor. I am trying to point out the ludicrous nature of the way you have been relating to me and my family.

I really think you are a double-agent but you lack the background and understanding of Donald Trump Junior. Donald Trump Junior has problems with Lacey. They had a sort of sexual relationship for a few months in 2017 and it ended and I think she thought it was just over but it has been brought up over and over and over again by every woman that he’s dated and his ex-wife and they can’t seem to let go of it. It wasn’t heartbreaking to her to-to any detrimental degree that was irreparable. It was heartbreaking, but she got over it and moved on. She still found him attractive for a few years after that but she didn’t want anything to happen with him and I don’t think he ever quite understood that and neither did his ex-wife or his other women.

I think the unfortunate truth is that you can’t handle how beautiful she is and neither can Donald Trump Junior or any other woman that he’s tried to be with.

JD I am superior to you, it seems. And so is she. I mean, she’s better looking than your wife. You’ve possibly never met someone as beautiful as Lacey potentially in your entire life.

My family really is unusual whether she’s my second-cousin or we adopted her. We really are an unusual family. There are some families that are like us. Michael Rockefeller really actually was quite good-looking, but most people aren’t like that.

I would think going to Yale Law School, and hopefully learning logic at some point God help us, that you would know that that’s common in the aristocracy actually for extreme beauty to exist. Rachel Ward is an excellent example! She was flawed, but she was also unusually beautiful and that’s quite common. There are some very unusually attractive people who are poor but it’s unusual for that beauty or that grandeur to be as extravagant as somebody who’s in the upper class. It’s a lie that we’ve told that that isn’t reality and unfortunately it has been very detrimental to my family and myself.

I’m actually as smart as you, I’ve asked God and I am as intelligent. Of course I went to more Morehead State. I went to a small school in Minnesota. But my grandfather went to Creighton and was a very wealthy doctor. But he was a dentist, but he was essentially like a doctor. …He was also very decorated fighter pilot in World War II. Umm…my sister won Miss North Dakota. Your sister didn’t have a chance in modeling. And it seems like I’m pointing out to you again how decrepit you are but the problem is that this is reality. You are actually decrepit compared to me and there’s very little chance that you’d ever be able to measure up to me. I don’t understand why you can’t just accept that if you’re conservative, if you’re-if you’re Republican. Even if you’re a Liberal I can’t quite figure out why you can’t just have the courage and the dignity as somebody who apparently respects themselves so much, which could be obviously of a cover for total psychosis or something, I can’t understand why you can’t just accept the reality that, according-according to reality compared to some people who are Norwegian aristocrats, essentially in the United States, you’re inferior. And that’s always been astounding to me.

Lacey is superior to Donald Trump Junior‘s Eastern European genes on his mother’s side and he’s gonna have to accept that. Peter Thiel is a homosexual and matter how much money he has by the strictest standards that’s inferior or at least debatable at best. I’m being patronizing. And that’s the reality that we live in. You don’t have to agree to it to a point…but then at some point you do…because we can’t change the discourse and the beliefs of every conversation that’s ever occurred, so to speak, on a psychic level. We can’t change the fact that people believe what I’m saying to be true or have. Umm…and so what we have to do instead is deal with the reality of the situation. If you’re trying to say Hitler was wrong, and that homosexuality and pedophilia are superior and that Peter Thiel and all his money mean more to the world than oil and natural gas and good trade relations with China…then we can say that. We can start saying that. We can make that a part of the public discourse and say, ‘NO, no no we don’t care about relations with China! We don’t care about global omissions! We don’t care about any of that!’ but that’s different than the trajectory that we’ve actually been on in reality up until Diego decided that he was God and decided to start poking fun at my dear cousin.

I can’t call her anything else right now because to be honest with you…you’re inconveniencing my family. And it is atrocious I’m dead, I committed suicide. My kids are having to be raised by a single mother! By your doing in essence! And that is abhorrent to me and God understands that. So do you understand that or are you not following? Are you too busy jacking-off thinking of your children because you’re a perverted, worthless piece of shit and I wasted my time talking to someone as useless to humanity as you?” says Matthew Nesheim.

“All the same-All the same, I am worth $4 million.” says JD Vance.

On The Nature of Daylight by Max Richter plays.

“I think what I was really trying to say to you is that you can have affairs with people…but if you have an affair with someone in the Illuminati and we don’t like the affair, we can assassinate you and destroy your family. That was the idea that we had.” says MSNBC to Lacey.

“You have $4 million? I had $400,000? I had a 400,000 net worth. I really did actually umm…and that’s not a lot but I was planning on saving more. I was 43 and I was obviously not doing well, for anyone that still remembers what that means, so I was only worth $400,000 but I committed suicide because of that. I felt very inferior to a lot of people.

So you have $4 million? Do you know why I am talking to you on behalf of Lacey or is that just baffling to you?” says Matthew Nesheim.

The song plays.

And plays.

“I suppose this has something to do with family or something but I have a family too, so I don’t understand what you’re fucking talking about.” says JD Vance.

The song plays.

“I think we’ve going to have to cut this conversation short.

I highly respect the fact that JD went to Ohio State. I went there too! Go Buckeyes! Right? But umm…you know the problem is though JD that you are not living in reality…and Matthew and Lacey are trying really hard to explain that to you. They’re being very kind and they’re being very thoughtful…but I am going to say that if progress hasn’t been made and they’re still frustrated at 8:15 they’re gonna let it go. We’re gonna let it go! Not forever necessarily but for the night.” says David Schiebel.

6:20

The song ends.

“Umm so you had to sell your soul to Satan and currently be made a total laughingstock of in front of the entire world on a blog that was originally about perfume. My sexy, ditzy cousin’s blog was about perfume. She literally was an intellect. She is intellectual, but it was still just about perfume OK!? So she wrote about Trésor by Lancome and Shalimar by Guerlain and yeah that’s excellent that’s beautiful art, it is, but it’s make-up. You are being made a total fucking laughingstock of on a woman’s perfume blog.

And if that isn’t a testament to the power of my family and God and frankly Harley status, I don’t know what is part of it is her father a part of it is my great great great great grandfather in Norway and her great grand uncle I don’t I don’t I don’t think you get it you’ve lost the argument you lost it before you even began and the reason we’re ripping into you is because we find you deplorable I like Donald Trump I wanted to vote for him. Yeah we’re still able to vote in purgatory. I wanted to vote for him. My whole family wants to vote for him, but I frankly will be on my hands and knees. Praying to Christ trying to figure out how to kill you if I have to if he wins, I wish I didn’t have to say that I wish that I could find someway to protect you from yourself or from other people and Lord willing I’ll be able to, but thus far it isn’t working out. I don’t know what you thought you were doing attacking my cousin, but it was an incredibly incredibly foolish thing to do.” says Matt.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no because-because $400,000 and privacy and oil and a writing career as a sci-fi writer with your own house isn’t elite, Matthew. It’s preferable to be vulnerable and overweight and worth $4 million because the $4 million is what matters. It’s the money.” says Lacey, mockingly.

Hypnotize by Biggie plays.

“Show me the money! Right now! Show me the money.

Who’s on that money?

Oh it’s a pyramid? Oh! Why…that’s my father’s house. No see…that’s where I grew-up. Why you have my hood on your money? What’s up with that bitch? That’s like a copyright infringement.” says Scotia.

0:33

“No we owned the pyramids! We created them.

I just made it a copyright infringement. I can do whatever the fuck I want. And actually you wouldn’t even exist even as a concept if it wasn’t for my husband for eternity. Yeah, I don’t know but you’d probably be licking someone’s shoes and getting kicked in the head before you were thrown in with the lions to be eaten alive, so think about that before you question God and whether not He gives a shit about wrong and right.” says Lacey to JD Vance.

“If you think she’s joking, think again. If you kill her, she will become a poltergeist who will literally destroy the entire world even if it takes 100 bloody, vicious years.” says Jesus. “I’m the only one who could stop her.”

Jump Around by House of Pain.

“I am the House of Pain.

You wanted my life to be a House of Pain you little fake-it? Is that what you are? A FAGGOT?

Because you’re all fucking each other up the ass, right? It’s kind of like what was it? Those monkeys that used to be connected at the hand? Bucket of Monkeys?

You guys are all connected through dicks abs and buttholes? Huh. Crazy!

You’re like a little chain of fools.

So on behalf of your chain of fools, I would like to say to you on your behalf: I wish you’d never been born. You’re the scum of the Earth as far as I can see…other than maybe a few of you. You’re either all evil and mentally-ill or so stupid-toxic you’re helpless to defend yourselves from each other.

But that isn’t saying much considering that I’m incredibly unimpressed with most current living humans. Oh shit I didn’t word that correctly. I didn’t say that perfectly! Do you know why? I’m tired. I’m human. But that’s not a good enough reason for you is it? Because that requires giving me a little tiny bit of empathy and decency on your part and logic, and someday, when I strangle whoever did this to everybody and rip off their head and make them bleed from their dick you and your little chain of monkey-ass-fools can come find me and thank me for telling you what a worthless piece of shit you really all could be without Christ. OK pumpkin?” says Lacey.

“OK fine but what am I supposed to do with that?“ he says.

“You’re supposed to put it in the context of whatever it is that you use to form your ideas about all your decision making and really let it guide you. You’re supposed to have some plausible worldview. You’re supposed to have some thought beyond just what you’re having for dinner in the next five seconds.” says Lacey.

“Lacey he’s worth less than Eric Nesheim, my uncle.” says Matt Nesheim laughing.

Lacey laughs. “No that part is-

JD part of what I’m trying to get into your head is that you’re just really screwed-up and that I I don’t quite understand whether homosexuality is allowed in Heaven but that my impression of gay men is a very, very poor one to say the least. I would say, for logical, rational reasons. Namely that one of them who was toxically closeted named JFK has literally possibly been a poltergeist, destroying my life, and that I have not observed too many of you to have much common sense. Like you…Peter Thiel. Anderson Cooper seems to have some, but there are a lot of gay men who I’ve seen who seem dumb-as-a-block when it comes down to it, and incredibly egotistical at the same time.

No I hope to God that they’re not all like that or do I? I’m not sure. I take that back in Jesus‘s name because I don’t really know. Messiah College was not clear anyway, what you’re supposed to make of it.

And this money? It is an arbitrary, relative concept, in the sense that everything is arbitrary and relative other than our souls and whatever God says isn’t. Everything is a mess, it’s a fallen world and so when we’re trying to iron it out and make sense of it when we arrive at the thought that we should use a currency, a solid currency that can be backed we create the Dollar. But then what is that currency? If there’s reincarnation the American Dollar is mine, essentially. It has my family’s name on it really. That is like my house. And that’s my country. You have my country on your money that and then I don’t see why if you’re a Yale graduate that you would think you should be arguing with me.

Umm…it’s just it this whole thing is just incredibly silly. Isn’t it? Hope you can see that someday. But the thing is it’s just revoltingly irrational, and I would think people do intuitively understand this but dammit-

I forgot the time limit.

(Adult content below)

But the thing is- Ayn Rand is trying to cut me off, but I need to say this: money is only worth, but we ascribe to it. As JP Kennedy used to say: perception is everything. And I think he got that idea probably from the Stock Market Crash – partially – of 1929. So yes, you’re worth $4 million but as perception is, as you’re trying to point out brutally-violently insisting on- As is Chris Hayes as well, or maybe he’s not is agreeing to it as he used to be but…it seems like what you all in your little posse of child, molesting globalist weirdos want to believe if I’m understanding you correctly… You feel that the almighty Dollar that has my name on it by the way, I would like to point out again the ‘almighty Dollar’ as the only form of rationality that you is potentially our water system. Worst case scenario the US Dollar has a Britta filter on it. An ancient Britta filter. And do you have any idea what a joke you people seem like to me to begin with if there’s reincarnation? That your currency has a Britta filter on it and you think of that as impressive.

And you know maybe that’s why you’re so in love with a Dollar because it has a picture of a Britta filter on it and you’re pretty sure that that one won’t disappear with global warming. I wonder if there’s reincarnation if you’re just paranoid about not being able to drink water someday or something. And I’m only half kidding. We really need to figure out whether or not there’s reincarnation.

Perception is very important beyond just the way you’re using it to try to feel superior so even though, if you’re trying to be egotistical $4 million is really great compared to $400,000, in reality from our perspective, our wacky ahh…relative Eric is smarter than you and worth more…and then we just totally lose all respect for you because Eric is a man who married a woman who chased him around the house with a knife. He used to have to hide under the table from her. Literally.

And as incredibly intelligent as he is – he’s very intelligent – he has made at least a few serious mistakes. He’s a very intelligent man but-but that’s that’s your proposition when it comes to ‘the pure money’. And that’s your competition and I suspect you’ve lost. I think he really might be worth more than $4 million potentially. And he is very intelligent, and charming…but…

So I’m sorry it’s possible that you’ve lost to Eric Nesheim.

$10 million? you’ve lost to Joni. Joni is incredibly intelligent and beautiful too but I know things about her that I just- She’s very human…and I cannot take you seriously as an overlord. If you’re only worth $10 millions.

And given the oil that we have I can’t-I can’t really take almost anyone seriously as an overlord. And as a Christian I don’t take anyone seriously is this world because it’s just fundamentally impossible to me, it’s a lie. As your power is based on bullshit.

With us being dead sweetie, your power is meaningless and you never seem to realize that. That once you die it’s over. And it’s very hard to keep a human alive for more than 1000 years. You die! And then this doesn’t mean anything and for decades in the 20th century people knew that and they were deep and thoughtful and depressed, including Lem Billings but you don’t seem to realize that. Al lot of people don’t seem to realize that in this conversation and it’s really sad to me. And I don’t know what to do about it. OK? Because it’s nonsense and what scares me is that I could be Scotia. What scares me is that my cousin might be dead and be an English aristocrat what scares me is that I am constantly at Christ’s mercy in a way that may not be entirely moral and right by His standards. So you can try to threaten me and carry on this petty stupid conversation that you keep trying to have with me you and your little posse of idiots who are connected possibly to each other through dick and ass. And no I’m not exaggerating. That’s literally the impression I have. That you all just use women like a vomit bag on an airplane and then put your small penises in another man’s butthole and never take it out, at least in your minds. And I don’t know when you actually have sex with each other. If you think you can have sex that way it seems like you just don’t. And instead you just walk around connected by such means.

You’re connected to each other in your heads like a Sisterhood of Traveling- I don’t even- See that’s where I lose the ability to describe it but yeah you guys are just like a Sisterhood of Traveling- Traveling Body Parts? I don’t know. But you’re connected through butt and cock, and it’s just disgusting. I mean you never put it in and out. There’s nothing that happens in that way at all. There’s no moaning or grand love? It seems like you just stick it in and leave it there and then keep on walking.”

“So that’s clearly what’s happening on a certain level. Is that intentional or an accident?” says a reader.

“It’s an accident!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“What’s the chain, Lacey?” says a reader.

“JD Vance – Peter Thiel – Diego – Chris Hayes – Bobby Kennedy Junior – a few other male billionaires – Zelensky – Joe Biden – and probably hundreds more. But those are who come to mind first.” says Lacey.

“Are they often closeted?” says a reader.

“YES! Very often. And…if you knew what they looked like…you’d be able to tell. Too bad people can’t see that more easily.” says Lacey.

“So why is it foolish?” asks a reader.

“Well anything that defies God is foolish but because they’re not really having sex.” says Lacey.

“What do you mean?” says a witch.

“ it’s kind of like what I’m describing they may be aroused by each other on occasion. Some of them might be confused, but it seems like they don’t really actually engage in sexual activity and if I know something about sexual activity and magic, I know that orgasms and movements and things of that nature are important, I mean pretty sure other people have noticed that as well Swedenborg regularly I am engaged in sexual activity to try to contact the other site. He believed it was a way of accessing the supernatural. If I’m not mistaken.

So that’s the problem it’s like there’s nothing really happening. There is something happening there connected to each other and what charismatic Christians would call a soul tie their connected to each other.

But there’s no like sexual traction. so they might be in love with which other or they might have secret alliances behind closed doors or something but there’s no there’s no traction so it’s like they’re connected but nothings happening.” says Lacey. “ they’re connected in their hearts they’re connected through their bodies possibly but there’s there’s nothing happening.” says Lacey. 

“ she’s right and I actually do have a British accent if there’s been carnation and that’s the problem too we know what we’re talking about. We were there in the 1800s and we have a very good idea of us actually happening.” says Matt in a British accent.

“ so you and Lacey haven’t even slept together is that correct?” says the witch.

“ yes but we know exactly what would happen if we did and it’s a relief because I don’t think we’re going to be together.” says Matt.

“ so you have profound, extraordinarily astounding, sex, orgasms, and all that but then that’s all?” she says.

“ mostly we are actually capable and Great Britain of having married at other we would’ve been happy. Sincerely she could’ve been my wife back then I don’t know if anyone would’ve thought of that or allowed it but I might have thought of it and if it was Great Britain. I think people might’ve just thought it was fine, it would’ve been when we were in our 20s and I was struggling to find someone and she was struggling to find someone and I found her attractive so people would’ve thought. Oh no no that’s fine they’re second cousins it’s fine I only know sadly it may have even made people feel safer, because it be keeping the money in the family, her husband wouldn’t be involved my wife’s family wouldn’t be involved and people would be frightened of us for good and bad reasons both so there was a reason people did that PacSun that was very practical. it really was threatening to people and I kind of kept the family from falling into some sort of decay morally to some degree because you had to stay normal in your head. You had to be decent or try to be because everyone was intermarrying and so it’s sort of straighten people out, believe it or not.

So so the thing is a no we would be very happy but we’re not meant to be together for eternity and very deep people we really are and it’s not what we want. We want it to be with our soulmate with our twin flame essentially, and Christianity and neither of us unfortunately found those people. I loved Kate very deeply him and we were in love, but her marriage had problems and Lacey‘s marriages Dead they love each other and they’re great partners but they really aren’t in love and that’s part of the problem is that I don’t know how to discuss that but I’m trying right now a little bit. Thank you for helping me, but that’s the thing the sexual energy that her, and I have It’s, it would be powerful it’s not, however as powerful as her love and ironically, if you let them be together, they would be very careful without power, but they’re not letting them be and so that people like me to keep emerging from the woodwork and it’s a horrific situation.

Because it it’s it’s complicated but now it’s absolutely terrible but that’s where Lacey and I are disgusted because I’m a certain level I’m still searching. I’m still trying to figure out what makes me tech and who I am I had a rough time. I love my wife I love my parents I love my siblings, I love my grandparents is there a loss in our family? My parents were pretty normal who’s were not and is it varied from family to family and the level of quality in our family but there were flaws and it just it was a perfect storm, and now I’m dead, and so then it’s like how are we? Do you know him because there’s no sexual power that’s coming from the men having sex with each other in the illuminati almost at all it is that God condones it, but he allows it because the following world and the thing is, it’s not doing anything And some people like you might think that’s wonderful. The truth is they actually may have been trying to keep people safe. They really they have been trying to work with each other to keep people safe on occasion and wars and battle a different situation’s and they’re having a hard time doing that right now because it’s so absurd that there’s so many narcissistic people unfortunately who are new money You don’t really understand sucks and to think that if you just stick it in that you’re good to go um, where are you know I have imaginary perceptions of things like jacked it um and then there’s some people like lame who are more backward a messed up than he was, but would you would think that they might not even be aware of that and it’s an absolute mess because then you have all these people who are Becoming increasingly more vulnerable in institutions are falling apart. Waterways are falling apart. Roads are falling apart because people aren’t making good on their end of things in the past people would sleep together and feel a sort of strange, spiritual connection, and then a sort of energy would emerge, almost like they created an entity outside of the child, that they may or may not have created, a psychologist would say this is a thing that the relationship itself is like an entity but they know that and they’ve used it and it worked but now it’s falling apart and I am if there’s reincarnation Lacey and I are in the morning or in grief, because people took it very seriously, and really put themselves through hell, trying to create some sort of perfection And it was miserable but they really worked at it if there’s no illuminati and if we’re created, maybe even if we’re not reincarnated this could be true but if we were there, we saw it especially me and these people were sometimes innocent and then we came to arrange the times with the whole process the woman who just good we’re very in capable of handling it in Great Britain And they didn’t leave their families but they just sort of became daffy is the aged and it devastated the kids and the wife rarely were they gay believe it or not they were often straight and they kept sleeping with that you know these prostitutes and who they fell in love with, and then the prostitute wasn’t in love with them for more than a night, and then they would just lose their minds Because they kept getting hurt essentially, but they wanted to believe they were men and that they were in capable of getting hurt.

And then this is released and I get a very angry because if that’s true and we were there, she may know that that happened even if she wasn’t there to see it like I was and so we think people have progressed beyond that they realize that you can’t do that anymore to some degree they know that right or maybe they should or they did for 40 or 50 years And so we were really careful about how they did certain things which actually could’ve been what was depicted in the novel that they used to inspire Eyz Wide Shut because by that time in the 1920s, it had progressed in the sort of ritual that was very carefully practiced. Instead of some thing a little more bacchanalian will say. It was less like a feast of Dionysus, and more like you know of synchronized swimming. just to clean things up right and this is where Lacey is baffled because she thinks to Stanley Kubrick make that movie as a criticism of the illuminati and new money or did he make that and that’s where you actually wasn’t at super super super genius, and he really was a little, unaware anyway and that’s where I get frustrated because I think they are but this is nuts and we just have to trust. God will help sort this whole thing out. Fern because it doesn’t it doesn’t work. The whole American experiment doesn’t work on innocence. I mean it does according to Tim Walz but he’s in love with his wife or was and not everyone is that fortunate and so a lot of people fall apart because it’s just totally dysfunctional. You know it’s like there was this sort of idea rhythm and there was a dock behind it, and there was an organization And then what do you have? You have Jack Kennedy being absurd. It took three years for him to cause this chaos it may have taken if there’s an illuminati 200 years to get to the level of sophistication and diplomacy that we were at post World War II. They had decent really relatively decent prosperous times even though we were in a cold war And then he got an office and everything went to hell in a handbag. I’m sorry I’m being honest,

And that’s the problem, his new money and people like him didn’t traditionally have a role in the illuminati until America. And so he was sort of the culmination of yours of American: “progress” him he was in capable of handling his position of office. He used to be a huge fan of novels back in the day written about 1700s, 1800s British aristocrats who would be very sexy at night and then during the day would be very good and moral and honorable. He was a huge fan of those sort of novels where people were very complicated. Because he really was he was very into that aesthetic James Bond. It was a part of that for him.

But the problem is those novels are fictional. They’re based on reality they’re not actually like objective historical documents. So his view of what was happening back, then is based on James Bond it’s based on fiction. It’s that he even if there’s a incarnation he had no idea what he was looking at or talking about. He took that James Bond series way too seriously possibly and like in the more towards like Sherlock Holmes, which is based more an actual historical fact , oh a lot of of the James of rather the Sherlock Holmes novels are based on reality. 00 historical context is pretty accurate they do actually document the illuminati in the Sherlock Holmes series.

But James Bond is nonsense. There’s some truth to it but essentially, it’s mostly just fabricated nonsense and it’s very exciting but it’s not like Sherlock Holmes it’s not like James missioners novels. It’s not like a lot of other peoples novels who Lacey doesn’t know and that’s too bad anyway but it’s not like that, and yeah, if you want to be creeped out, think of gore Vidal, and how he got mad at lab, he may have been to it is that this was a shit show, waiting to happen, but he couldn’t figure out what he was intuiting

I so am so basically yeah I’m sorry I know it’s realize that Linn Billings with jacket was Jackie Kennedy‘s wingman fruit with Jack. He really was straight, but no basically James Bond was nonsense and Jackson know that and he like it more towards Sherlock Holmes and some sort of documentary series meet up, made fictional or some thing whatever the point is Him that’s where he falls apart because that’s what he was basing his administration off of that’s what he was basing his worldview off of was this in accurate perception of sex in the upper class. And then he gave everyone else that disease to some degree. And so those novels are based on some facts but a lot of it is fiction and that’s not something he was aware of so if you could imagine, then like what I just said is a ministration was extraordinarily dangerous, which is very sad because the boomers were happy children and their parents were exceedingly tired and happy, and they deserve some thing far better. But he know I mean it when he joined the illuminati. He thought it was just gonna be like you know a novel like James Bond and that’s the problem it’s becoming that for everyone thinks that you shot JD the trumps Bobby, the bushes not so much, but they’ve been a little altered for the worst by that And there’s really almost nobody alive left who has a clue how silly the whole thing is most people. Their perception of the illuminati is for based on Jack Kennedy and James Bond.

That’s not a good thing. So so they don’t realize that it’s not just a silly sophisticated joke because they’re pretentious and that’s not necessarily a judgment call on their final grade so to speak but the most they’re just pretentious and so they don’t really know what they’re doing but it’s just that this is the seals is promiscuous sucks and all these “rituals” and they just think oh this is this is this is the this is wild and crazy stuff you know but boy I’m sophisticated now it is really disturbing how little they understand do you do grass but I’m saying is it’s all just going over your head and you’re just pretending to understand?” says Matt.

“ i’m understanding.” she says.

“ then why are you fighting what I’m saying I’m trying to be helpful.” says Matt.

“ because I am in love with Lem Billings and I just can’t understand it. I don’t understand why anyone would want to have sex with Lacey!” says Bobby, genuinely weeping.

“ I mean they tried so hard to sell him on the idea but he’s just he’s like well. I read about it in Newsweek in 1995 with Mary. It just hit me like a ton of bricks and I thought this is the reality of what really happened to me I was there I experienced it. This was not my perception of Lyme and what I was experiencing with him but you know when I think back he really was crazy about me and I’m just gonna have to move forward and realize that he really was just up SAST and that’s just the impact I have on people.” says a former lover of his.

“ why was that necessary to bring up you’re wasting our time.” says Matt to the witch.

“ is this funny to you to think you have power over us because you’re an ugly poor bitch white you’re a whore do you have genital herpes?” says Lacey.

“ I controlled you to say that was that intimidating?” she says.

“ you use a part of my brain that I have no control over anymore cause I’m slightly dead. I was trying to say something to you and you didn’t want to hear it because you’re a narcissistic bitch.” says Lacey.

“I might be sort of poor and I’m really good at witchcraft.” she says.

“ do you give a fuck about any other anyone else or are you just self-obsessed?” says Lacey.

“ I don’t I don’t understand.” she says.

“ oh, OK are you a child or an adult?” says Matt.

“ there’s a child involved that Bobby request to be involved because he’s trying to strong arm us into making you let Linn be gay so he’s abusing children now to to get us to get you to stop sleeping with him or something stupid like that because he’s basically insane and then there’s me and I’m not entirely all there, but I may have realized it would come to this if we kept going because I watched you and I knew this would come out or maybe it was you and I’m covering for the fact that I’m a little narcissistic and dysfunctional.” she says.

“ you know I don’t I don’t I don’t really know which it is but we’re trying to say something so you should probably just let us talk.” says Matt.

“ and I mean I try to kill her because you’re so narcissistically offended?” says God.

“ that was the idea and it didn’t quite work.” says the witch.

“ if you kill her, you could end up in hell you’re not working for anyone’s benefit you’re basically just brain dead.” says the CIA.

“ him, so basically what happened, then is that he sort of created a monster of people who have no idea what they’re doing. They are having sex: “as gay men, and they think they’re being very cool and sophisticated, and together you know, but at the end of the day, it’s absolute insanity because they’re really just sticking their private parts, niche others areas and leaving them there for a few seconds maybe possibly doing something more but I am but it’s really not good sex.” says Matt. “ and that he wouldn’t seem to be a problem except for the fact that they insist on existing and doing what they’re doing but they’re not doing anything functional at all even it’s just dysfunctional Kostic order antagonizing evil.” says Matt.

Later.

“ somebody posted my obituary again, two hours ago and it wasn’t Lacey on Facebook. Whoever that was, I prompted that in the Holy Spirit. Thank you for posting it.” says Matt.

“ Lacey was going to go to bed because it’s late and she’s frustrated with a lot of people right now but she is Jake up because she’s trying to be responsible and godly. I think what’s really depressing to me as a ghost watching this is that he’s really a very nice man he really is he’s unusually intelligent and usually good-looking, and usually kind, and then here she is the sweetheart, who is astoundingly attractive and she’s not necessarily even his cousin and then she supposed to be. And then he dies and is drawn to deal with this situation because of the supernatural it’s like unfinished business for him and then it’s not that it’s going to not be him oh finish business, because there is heaven and hell, but he would like to move on with the conversation and his walk with Christ in here after and it’s very difficult for him to do that and it’s Pretty horrific because I don’t I just put this way under normal circumstances he wouldn’t be dead as hell under normal circumstances he would die in his 50s or 60s or 70s or 80s and she would die in her 70s or 80s and then she’d be with lame and then when he died, he would be like oh yeah, I had kind of an attraction to my second cousin I should probably take care of that. That was some thing I need to sort through with God But it’s like that’s not what’s happening he didn’t get to live his life she didn’t get to live in normal life, not at all. I am in and then they’re trying to sort through this where it’s like we’re cousins but yeah I found you attractive to. This is weird you’re right that is weird but then how do you have that conversation on one of you is Dad sort of, and one of you mostly alive oh, it is completely nuts it’s completely nuts.” says Hamish Harding.

“ are you dead because of irresponsible behavior like what caused the situation?” says Princess Kate.

“ yes, I am dead because of very similar thought. Processes processes processes that goes. Yeah, this is very similar thing.” says Hamish.

“ OK so the illuminati had like four screws in there at the bottom of the ocean and Scotia Scotia showed up literally or metaphorically?” says the witch.

“ yep.” says Hamish Harding.

“ if there’s ring carnation why the heck do we keep having problems with like the late 1800s early 1900s?” says a reader.

“ hey how did you find out that they just posted something on Facebook again two hours ago? Did you get a notification?” says someone.

“ yes.” says Lem.

“ to be honest I have a feeling that there’s a lot of covert activity happening right now because there are a lot of people waking up to the reality is that there’s a way to the irons in the fire, so speak not to make light of a bad situation, but yeah, there are a lot of men who are sexually interconnected and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s part of the problem there’s just way too many bizarre alliances to the point where we’re just like a blob and we can’t really do anything because we’re all too connected to each other in ways that are totally dysfunctional.” says the Illuminati.

“ why did you guys have to be new money? That is so depressing it is so depressing.” says a reader.

“ because of America new money wasn’t necessarily always a bad thing. My family did OK oh I would say Tim Walz has done well but Lacey‘s family is not in the illuminati and probably should have some representation and they aren’t him and that’s what’s wrong with America so it’s like new money is not necessarily bad but the way that America has organized. The class system is very dysfunctional. That’s my take on it so who would be in the illuminati it wouldn’t be Lacey it would probably be it would probably have been Linn. Linn probably would’ve been the first person and she’s extremely beautiful. She really is. She’s an absolute rare beauty and we probably rescheduled her to be in It’s, North Dakota, at the North Dakota State fair, there was a model agency that got involved that actually might’ve been connected to the illuminati but we didn’t go far enough and if if we had gotten her in in like the mid to late 1990s, none of this would be happening it’s evil but none of this would be happening and it’s possible that Lacey would be dead and ending the world from the other side with them or that something good would’ve happened.” says Louis.

“ did you pick out lemon Lacey because of her family they actually love each other or because the one of them is really hot?” asks the Illuminati of JFK.

“ holy shit you guys are actually trying to suffocate her to solve the problem. She’s not making anything but she down. I’m gonna stop saying stuff like that.” says a witch.

“ yes, it was because he was so loved. Who is your handsome who is very handsome, but if there’s reincarnational, he was also very loved and that was part of why I chose them. She loved him an extraordinary moment him but I didn’t think he loved her at all. I thought she was just extremely beautiful and pleasing to him and I thought I could do better or I knew that he loved her and I hate it that is possible. I have excepted that reality that he loved her as much as he did so it’s possible I’m just jealous of the love that he has for her and so I hate her because of how much, she loves her and I hate him because of how much she loves him back. I hate him more and I lie about that to myself which is part of the reason why I assist exist because I I make it the opposite and then no one knows why did I hate him for her loving him because outside of time she could’ve been my mommy and then I’m mad at them for taking my mommy from me because I like my dad even though he’s a jerk off and I get better with that and I do great in the future. Potentially Lord willing but right now if that’s true I’m not doing so great. Why do I hate her though because I like hitting her so it’s like that was to be the original thing and then I just made it evil and just it all turned to hate.

So, at first, it was some thing that was you could be sympathetic with, but now it’s not.” says JFK.

“ so JD him it’s not in the conversation right now I think he’s probably licking his wounds.” says the CIA.

“ what is his problem with nations? I’m not sure I quite understand because he has like 4 million or something or 10 million-“ says a woman.

“ he is booked deals. It’s the status that they have is being public figures. It’s really just that there’s nothing else.” says the CIA.

“ OK so then he must think that, like his vice presidential, temporary position, outweighs the oil and the old money status, and all of their money?” says the woman.

“ how does it not?” says JD.

“ because you’re just the vice president you’re not a king you have to get reelected and even if you became like a president you’d still just be president they’re oil is you’ll never have billions you’re in your 40s is extremely on my OK it’s very unlikely JD that you’ll ever be heir to billions in oil on top of that think about it you were never going to own billions of dollars in oil it’s impossible you’re never going to be as as important as they are you’re never gonna be as handsome as straight as Matthew. You’ll never have sex with Lacey he hasn’t but he’s come very close if there’s reincarnation you were never British aristocrat, you’re not him you’re not these people and being vice president is never going to equal but they have.” says the CIA.

“ who’s laughing right now?” says JD.

“ am I don’t know if anyone’s laughing I think you could be paranoid. Let’s see I think Michael Rockefellers laughing at you. Yeah it’s Michael Rockefeller” says the CIA

“ do you do you think you’re going to the do you if the if you real live when we owned standard oil would you have thought we were beneath you just cause you’re a vice president ?” says JD Rockefeller.

Lacey laughs.

“ JD Vance versus JD Rockefeller now there is a match I like to see!” says Lacey, mockingly.

“ OK so I’m probably never gonna be worth even 15 million how the fuck Matthew I’m actually kind of impressed that you have 400,000 to your net worth considering that you probably were never making that much money and or were you?” says JD.

“ I am no I could actually even be worth more but but no it was will say 400,000 I’m very smart are used to make jokes about owning the Vikings but I really wanted to be that successful. I was I’m not going to say this, but now I have to I was in love with her. I don’t want to say that because if my wife is reading this, that would probably be very hurtful to her, but she’ll know someday so I might as will say it if it’s true, we weren’t close I barely ever saw her, but she might not be my cousin. She was very attractive and let’s just put it this way. She was very isolated, shook up in a very upper class of upper middle class suburb of of of of of Minneapolis, and six people that she went to school with just were not the sort of people that she could’ve ever married at Anne so that was her usual experience with people but then when she come to the farm as we called it the farm my family had a farm. There are lots of farms in the family but the main farm their original Nesheim farm that started in 1902 yet that farm is sort of a central meeting location and I would see her there every once in a while or a different other peoples houses in that area and it just it was hard for me to not be attracted to her because she was so extremely beautiful and she was so relaxed about it because she didn’t know if she was beautiful because no one was giving her almost any attention, and so she’d walk around the farm Very relaxed and casual and yet not because she’s sort of prim and proper just by nature or decide just a think she may have just decided to be that way, but it came very natural to her for some reason and no I made it just it was an instant attraction as we age because we didn’t really grew up together but then by the time she was 1413 I was very Was a little older than her she was born 1983 I was born 1980 and and I would see her and she was 13 or 14 and I was 16 or 17 and she was just extremely beautiful and blossoming and then as she was getting older and she was 13 or 14 or 15 yeah it just kept progressing. I went home. My family stayed at her house, when she was maybe 16 or 17 and I slept in the living room because that’s what my family does the no they didn’t. I’m in different lots of rooms anyway but I think oh I think we probably are that way anyway um, no I slept on the living room floor and I remember thinking, this is bad because I wish that I could just like be a little more open about how I feel because she was so sweet and so nice and so nice to be around and our families got along. I mean they’re first cousins. Her mother is first cousins with my father doesn’t make us first cousins once removed that makes a second cousins actually far as I know but I am but but that’s the thing, so yeah it was bad because no one was noticing her. I found that really attractive because I’m a rather complicated, mysterious person, myself, obviously and then the Hellish how much thing oh God help us.

*slight pause*

If there is reincarnation, I was born in 1980 lamb was born in 1981 or rather he died in 1981 so when I came into this world, he was still alive and if there’s reincarnations, that’s not a coincidence. I don’t want to get into all of the reasons why everything happens but we’re interconnected Innoway we’re not soulmates, but we’re both British aristocrats if there’s reincarnation

And so um just basically if there’s reincarnations when something happens to them, it affects me too, in a way. And so I developed a crush on her over the years. I wasn’t the only person in my family to have a crush on her am I really wasn’t she really is I don’t usually pretty but anyway so that it’s not just that it’s anyway so it’s said she’s not well, but if she’s a legitimate is that she’s not her cousin And there was a young man who was in the family through adoption named Bryce, who is sort of a big deal. I think he might be a district attorney or something in Washington state. I think he was a district attorney or assistant district attorney or some thing to anyway he was sort of a big deal But his father was a judge to but everyone in our family had a crush on him in that area. Lacey didn’t I didn’t, but a lot of girls who were born into the family had a crush on Bryce because he was adopted and there was no one like a lot of people would say oh it’s OK to have a crush on Bryce he’s not really a relative Which is the way it was maybe a little toxic but he was good looking and yeah, that was a thing but as awkward as it is, it’s possible that Lacey experienced the same thing where a lot of the young men had a crush on her, but we didn’t realize it was because she wasn’t really her cousin And then we just never said anything about it because it was kind of strange how we look I don’t know what that would be there are people who think we’re very clannish and sort of I don’t know how to describe it. It’s yeah it’s not like a clan or like a tribe but there’s sort of a sense of solidarity, so maybe we pick up on people who aren’t really born into the family more than most people would or something I don’t know Because she’ll if she’s not really in our family genetically, she looks enough like us that it was sort of believable, but we just knew somehow intuitively anyway.

This gets nasty so if Kates reading this I’m sorry maybe she should stop reading this point at this point if she doesn’t want to know if she does if she does and that’s great if she doesn’t I don’t blame her if she’d rather hear this in person someday shoot she should just wait. I know that she’s probably prepared herself. Um, Kate is special she’s sort of like Snow White. She has very dark curly hair and she’s fair and she is ambitious and womanly, and I fell in love with her. And I was so excited to get married.

I know this Hass to be said I’m sorry- it’s possible Lem is making us tell people this. Um so um oh OK so Lacey was giving up on life to some degree him but she was extremely beautiful and she was getting smaller and smaller because her thyroid was dying in a sense so she got down to like a size double zero what was the size of a size 6 but before it yeah she’s around four will say and she had this beautiful black dress that she bought in New York City made of silk strapless. It was a very pretty dress and then she bought this velvet jacket to wear over it and she died her hair blonde and she was about 105 out of a scale of 1 to 10 I mean she was extraordinarily attractive I’m not making that up. Um, it was frighteningly pretty I mean OK so people met so I could be prettier OK but to be honest with you it really was it was a Park. No one took a picture of her ever that honor the beauty at all and I think I’ve Scott Fitzgerald probably has empathy for me with this one because it irritates me just irritates me, and I think he understands with Zelda some people really are that hard to photograph for lots of reasons

And so she showed up as this blonde tan, curvy hot woman at my wedding. Not my birthday to sing me a song not no really this is It’s, your Tete not my mama bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah shit sorry for some reason I get those to confuse possibly too but anyway not you know she didn’t jump out of a cake at my bachelor party which is good, but she’s my cousin and it wasn’t. She wasn’t improper at all, and Kate would say that too if she had a conscience, I hope she would say that um I mean she was wearing a very modest dress in a way but then it’s like the night before at the dinner. It was like you know I don’t know she was wearing some brown dress that was fitted and it was just OK. I’m sorry it’s just the truth. It was incredibly sexy like incredibly sexy, but it was very appropriate, but it was incredibly sexy and she walked in I’m not sexy in the way that Marilyn Monroe is sexy really more sexy like Rachel Ward know really it’s similar and so she walked in like Rachel Ward and some 1980s movie and sat down and they put me at the same table as her. I don’t know whose idea that was But they sat us at the same table. Someone put us at the same table and so I was sitting there. She was sitting across from me and Kate wasn’t there. Kate wasn’t even there, and we just sat there and our eyes locked and it was really awful because I had just come back from the war She was hot as heck and I had a crush on her for years and it was awful because it was like I was in love with Kate I was determined to be happy and then there’s my hot cousin who shows up at her prime and it was probably one of the most hideous moments of my entire life Because I wanted to marry Kate and be happy and then there she is sitting there. And then there she is sitting there and I thought why I thought why is this happening to me? This is disgusting. This is evil and she felt the same way because we were raised by similar people and so she thought this is vile he’s attracted to me, but it’s very stupid and I thought this is vile. I’m a very attracted to her But this is very stupid and so we both just sort of ignored it and you know acted kind of like it was ridiculous for the most part but then she started talking and it was awful. It was actually awful because I couldn’t you know as a man, hopefully men understand him I could pull my mind out of it. I couldn’t pull my mind out of it. I was in love with Kate, but I couldn’t get my mind out of the gutter, but I couldn’t get my mind out of out of it so to speak.

I am so I sat there and I thought what am I going to do? This isn’t supposed to be happening and everyone was a bit suspicious. Everyone in our family knew what was going on but they didn’t say anything I think I think he knew everyone do it she was so startlingly, beautiful and so sad and lonely and ditzy other no one would’ve said it was ditzy at the time And it just it was heartbreaking and it was beautiful and it was tragic and she were all black. It was all black with pearls and people were very cold to her as usual and I was bothered by that and Kate and I talked before the wedding, and just decided to get married but we we are we actually almost separated that night, we almost separated the night before we got married him and people talked about it and she was she was she was she was a reason why she wasn’t the reason why but she was one of the reasons in the back of my head because I thought if I can find my cousin this attractive I wonder if I’m really ready to get married if I am if I’m still capable of finding her attractive what does that mean about my state of mind in the state of my heart there must be some thing a mess and so I thought well, this is problematic, but we sort of talked ourselves back into it, and Yeah I and I and we got married but over the years as I started to be increasingly more depressed I I just start analyzing things more and I start thinking what what if I was really wrong about that do you know what if I really messed up, so I killed myself around our anniversary take me to say it’s true. I did. I killed myself around her wedding anniversary, but my suicide was related to that anniversary, I don’t hate Kate I love her very much but I definitely feel sad because I worry and worried and I was afraid the light ruined everything for myself and her. It was just another one of the reasons why I felt like a totally incompetent person and I am it’s hard to explain what goes through a persons head when they’re thinking about committing suicide, but that’s the thing so it’s like I thought well I should try to see my cousin Kaitlyn verify that I thought I should try to go see my cousin we should have a cookout or something so I called her mother and I tried to arrange it, but it didn’t go over very well And talking to her mother I picked up on the Bing something horribly wrong. She changed her name from Carrie to Lacey and I noticed that but Becca didn’t even know so I said oh house house Lacey and she said I don’t know what you’re talking about basically and I said your daughter Carrie she changed your name And she said oh I don’t know what you did. I didn’t know that it was just extremely disturbing him so I thought I really should try to talk with her and figure out what’s going through her head what’s wrong with her Kate I would’ve had an affair with her I wasn’t going to say anything, but I would’ve had an affair, her marriage is dead. Her husband doesn’t want to end it for very same practical reasons but but it’s pretty much just Dad and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the thought of them staying together to raise the kids which is what she is willfully doing I think that’s perfectly respectable, and she cares about her husband an incredible amount, can’t she could be a better person than me. She would never have killed herself for any reason that means she fights for her life every day so don’t take it out on her but I’m writing you can take it out on me when you’re dead.

And I’m sorry I failed you as a human as a man. I’m sorry I’m incredibly sorry you deserved better I’m incredibly sorry. I’m a but I would’ve had an affair with her. I’m just confessing that to you because it’s true. I was in love with her before I even met you basically and and it was weird because we were supposed to be cousins and him, and it was very very weird But if our marriage was seriously on the rocks and it was yeah it was let’s be honest and her marriage was dead. I was trying to sort of his last ditch attempt did not die as a sort of last ditch attempt to not kill myself I was thinking you know what if Maybe in some crazy world this makes sense. Him and you know it’s like it’s like well. You know Kate and I are doing well and maybe this makes sense because I knew she probably was miserable to so I read her blog I knew she wasn’t OK to and if there’s an illuminati, they are seriously violent and hateful And they they knew I was attracted to her they knew, and they actually partially were setting me up to have an affair with her. I don’t know what they had in mind, but then that’s part of the reason why that’s part of the reason why she declined, she could sense in her spirit that it was somewhat off. She also sense that she should, and she had no idea how suicidal I was so so so it was awful right because she knew that she should meet with me but then she also worried that she shouldn’t and so she didn’t always air on the side of caution believe it or not is how she operates and it is disturbing. I think she made the right choice but then there’s times where I worry that she didn’t because it’s like what what is the worst that would’ve happened And then I’d still be alive and helping you raise our kids. I’m not telling you something that’s terrifying to write on this blog it’s the last tiny bit, and I am forced to say it. Kate, I slightly may have killed myself over her yes because I felt sort of worthless Because it’s like you know she’s my cousin and I’m a failure at life and I can’t figure out how to fix my marriage and I have been in love with my cousin and I have people don’t understand sucks like they used to so in the past people would’ve known what I was trying to talk about notice they don’t so I think in the back of my mind, it’s sort of like Howards end when he goes searching he goes searching for her. You know they make love in that boat, Helena bottom Carter’s character and the Poor poet they make love in the boat and then she gets pregnant and then and then she walks off you know, and and then he goes after her I think Anne dies. I’m kind of like that, but we never made love but I don’t know how God would say it, but we never did anything

Oh, but I had it in my head. Do you know that the image of her startling beauty in the black dress that her wedding yeah and a black dress at our wedding the image of her in the black dress at our wedding she was extremely beautiful and I am when my grandfather died, we all jumped off the bridge, I was included everyone jumped off and we were telling her to as well. Oh, and she said no she stood there and took pictures. Actually, she refused to take pictures and I may have even yelled at her Kate take pictures, take pictures and she refused to. She just stood there, staring at us, like we were all insane, preparing to watch us die race to the highway to try to save our lives, if necessary, we put her in an awful position of potentially having to go play. I got a car down to tell them that her cousins had just jumped off a bridge to save their lives, and it bothered me and it has bothered me to an astounding degree in and so I thought you know, if she could’ve died that day and I would’ve been slightly responsible to know Kate, I’m sorry she could’ve died that day. I would’ve been slightly responsible and she could’ve broken her neck or cracked her head open and I would’ve been slightly responsible and that I thought about her wearing that black dress at my wedding Yeah edit the thing is it was the dress was not at all intentionally inappropriate she was wearing it because she sincerely thought it was the right thing to wear for a January wedding. I’m not making that up she thought it’s a January wedding who gets married in January so she thought that’s cold I think because it’s so cold and it’s January and everything‘s dead outside And everything‘s dead outside that is completely appropriate. It’s completely fine to wear a black dress to a wedding in January in Wisconsin at and so she wore a black dress and um it just seem like the right thing to her to wear when she actually came down to wearing it I think she thought it was bizarre but but before she did it, it made sense Anyway, the thing is it got stuck and in my head and and so when I read her blog and I found out how miserable she was and I felt responsible for the bridge incident where she almost died and I thought this woman is really suffering she’s losing her mind, or she’s actually discovered the illuminati at something horrible is happening. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried contacting her mother I’ve tried dealing with it and if you know me at all, you know that when things away on me, they really bother me so it was just one of many things that were ripping at my mind, making me want to kill myself at the war, the fact that I felt like a failure, the fact the fact that I was so dull to be around the fact that I didn’t think my wife was happy and that I worried she’d be happy with someone else they were that I wasn’t the father that I should be to my children I thought I’m not good I am not a good enough person and I just I didn’t see how my life was ever going to get better because I didn’t wanna divorce you I didn’t want to abandon the kids and I couldn’t figure out how to make our marriage work, and then I thought no if I could just scratch the surface of the speakers, I could just sort of get a Dentists and she would’ve she was a part of how I was trying to do that so I think I thought to be fairly blunt with you. I don’t want to have a mistress but if I have to to stay alive and keep my marriage, I’ll have one it was but I was partially thinking because it’s like she’s in a dead marriage. Our marriage is falling apart. Worst case scenario I have an affair with my cousin nobody would have to know it’s completely fine potentially or I just I don’t care sort of you know I care, but I don’t care because this is life is not quite working and I don’t think she wanted to be in this position and to be honest I the part of the reason why I’m saying we would’ve had one is because I know the state of our marriage and she doesn’t so she’s writing this on her blog, in good faith, that she’s talking to me that she’s hearing from me clearly and that this is what really would’ve happened and what I really saying to her but she’s writing it for a reason and she’s just trusting God if she does it is scary is it actually is to write this

But no, our marriage was very bad and I think I I think it was bad I’m sorry I think our marriage was awful here I killed myself and I didn’t want you to know that because I loved you, but our marriage was not good it was not working and instead of telling you that I thought it would be less shameful for you and less painful for the kids if I just died because I didn’t want them to think that I didn’t love them or that I didn’t love you and was like abandoning you so I think I thought no no no no this is him. This is better to just die because then there’s no shame for my family if I ever left them if I ever decided to leave them for somebody no no and I’m not even any good anyway, you know I’m not doing anything I’m not helpful I’m just gonna die because good, we’re good am I look at a later these people are useless and You know I could stay in this dead marriage and end and become meaner and grumpier or I could die get out of the agony of being alive and it just became too convincing to so so that’s part of what happened I thought no no you know I’m in love with her this is terrible And I shouldn’t be and my marriage is dying and if she had died, my dear cousin, who’s suffering right now, so much, it would’ve been my fault that day at the bridge as she jumped off and broken her neck. It would’ve been my fault and I might’ve seen her kids and that they would’ve never been born in, it’s just you know yeah and then it circles back so what good am I to my own family? I’m a terrible person and I’m a terrible person I would’ve thought.

I don’t now so I I decided to just kill myself. It just seemed better than any other idea I could think of and then that’s the thing is like what are you know what what what ism what is the point of my life but now if I had had to you know affair with her, I wouldn’t probably have died And I’m sorry hey what do you think about that? Would you rather I have push to see her more and at least tried to have some sort of life is messed up as it would’ve been or would you rather or would you rather I have just killed myself I’m actually slightly serious.” says Matthew

“ who who put you up to this Matthew who’s idea was it for you to do this?” says Hughz

“ god is complicated, but God.” says Matt.

“ I would rather you have the affair.” says Kate.

“ call what if I decided to leave you? Not just not necessarily even for her, but just anybody that I so choose or chose, would you how would you have felt about that?” says Matt.

“ I would rather you have had the affair, then just leave me for any random person.” says Kate.

“ are that’s interesting like had some random affair with someone and I met at a coffee shop or something or at church or something why is that that is not what I expected you to say why is that?” says Matt.

“ beat because I think I think I’ve been honest I think I miss you. I miss the help that you had that you that you sometimes tried to give around the house with the kids and I’m exhausted and I’m sad and and there’s a lot of misery in my life, but I think I think I feel like you wouldn’t have left me if you’d had an affair whatever that would even be I don’t think you two are as wild as it seems and I don’t know what would’ve even happened but in my mind that would be a lot better because you probably wouldn’t have left me I don’t think she would’ve left her husband if you to delete your spouses I think you would’ve worried that it wasn’t somehow going to work out and it’s depressing but it’s like you killed yourself you’re dead that you killed yourself you’re actually dead. You know I mean you made the decision to kill yourself this isn’t just like oh I’m talking about killing myself you actually did it I mean what a wake up call write your dad so it’s like if you’re that miserable if she was being sadistically, tortured by illuminati, that actually exists, and you could’ve helped her And we could be still together in someway even as partners you know just it’s like well no I mean I don’t know I guess they’re in love I don’t know and I don’t think I’m gonna lose him this way. I think you’re probably just gonna see less of them, but not that much and to be honest, I might’ve had a friend myself so to speak if that’s what we did I might’ve thought no our marriage is legal but it’s not working and so will stay together raise the kids and then maybe when we get older we’ll see, but you know it’s necessary to just do whatever it is within any moral parameters of decency normalcy to survive you know you stay with your spouse to some degree or than you find someone that can keep you alive. It’s like this isn’t the ideal but this is better than if he was dead or with some weird woman who would steal him from my family so no it’s not sick it’s not their second cousins they’re not necessarily even biologically related, and if he into it at all of that, that was very intelligent and aware, so if you two could’ve actually had an affair and that would’ve really been something that would’ve kept you alive if I’m actually hearing from your ghost and not just a demon torturing her and i’m not about to lose my husband. I’m not about to lose everything I’ve built with him. I’m not about to lose all that just for him to be with some flaky weird person who he meets in some random place and you know honestly if you found the love of your life and that way OK but if you had fault if you actually if this is real and you actually had been in love with her since you were a teenager, I don’t think you could probably have replaced her with just some random person off the street and I would rather you deal with the awfulness of our marriage and just stay alive then then get a divorce and or die. I think this dispute this that would’ve made more sense and be honest with you if we weren’t really in love anymore or if the marriage was falling apart and her marriage was dad I don’t know isn’t even really an affair. I mean it is but, let’s just let me ask you something if you two had actually fallen in love and it was it’s legal and maybe not even related anyway, would you have allowed me to be with someone else like let’s just say that U2 I don’t know just decided to go visit family together would you have been upset? If I done the same thing to you and said I’m gonna go for a girls trip I’m gonna go for a girls trip and I’m going to have a fun time without you. There is a guy that I know that I met a and I’m probably going to see him but you know, so would you have let me do that or would you have become jealous and abusive?” she says.

“ I would have become angry and I would’ve let it go. Would you have wanted to get a divorce if that happened? Would you have wanted to just get divorced or would you wanted to stay together?” says Matt.

“ I would have wanted to stay together, but I also would’ve wanted to get divorced. I would’ve thought now I’m in love with this guy I was capable of falling in love with other people to I would’ve. I would’ve thought this could just work because he’s busy or something and he’s my mom my yoga instructor will say right, but not really but that would mean yeah I could’ve probably found someone and then it’s like well. Yeah but then I went or I would really want to divorce you, so I probably wouldn’t have divorced you and if you were OK with that, and I said, that’s the thing does part of my thinking, it’s extremely disturbing because it’s like well. This is creepy. This is so old money so upper class that it’s almost gross because it’s so gross but it’s not perverted it’s or is it but it’s just it’s and see that I wonder if it is perverted somehow, but what are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? It’s not like actual perversion. Maybe I don’t even know man but it’s like we know, we didn’t get divorced. We raise the kids together but each of us had people who we were in love with and then at the end of the day we had decision to make. Once the kids were growing. Do we stay together or do we separate and I think I probably would’ve chosen to separate.” says Kate.

“ Kate were incredibly sorry if this isn’t Matthew, if you ever read, this blog were incredibly sorry if this isn’t Matthew, I’m sure Lacey is as well. I’m speaking on her behalf and saying that no I’m not I can always speak on her behalf, but in this case, I think I can sing we’re incredibly sorry if this isn’t him but if this is him, obviously, for some reason he needed to say it.” says Tim Walz

” Lacey needs to go to bed with Landon but I just want to apologize again because if this is real Kate, I screwed up our lives. I loved our kids but I totally messed up. Pray for me and pray for her and pray for yourself I’m praying for you. I don’t blame you if you don’t want to talk to me for the rest of eternity, I won’t be angry. If you punch me in the face or throw me off a cliff or stab me repeatedly I really was in love with you I was incredibly in love with you and sometimes people just can’t have everything they want you know I want it to be happy and you want it to be happy and we could make it work because we just didn’t have that some people kill themselves when their spouse dies and then some people just don’t have that and I wanted that with you and we didn’t have it why did I actually do it, because I was just that miserable and I was just that convinced as they were say but it’s true I was just that convinced that I was worthless and but it wasn’t like me it wasn’t in my character and if there is an illuminati, I really was killed. They killed me. They talked me into it using the daemonic you don’t have to believe that but I was miserable, I was vulnerable they had evil plans and I got affected by the whole thing and died to perfectly honest with you. I respect your bravery and independence but even if I’d had God himself say it’s OK for you to marry your fake second cousin and I may not have been able to given the illuminati‘s hatred for her and our family at that point and he may never have said that, but I’m just saying that’s how vile the situation is so if you read this blog, or if I’m talking to your spirit, be aware of that if I had known that I was under severe attack licious for this way, I knew that when I read her blog that it could exist but it never crossed my mind that they could be trying to kill me so I knew it could exist. It fascinated me it was part I possibly drew me to the other side slightly because it’s it it was like I need to go take care of the situation it is and there’s people that I know I feel guilty for being alive and she could be dead and oh my goodness the things that went through my head but but then, but then, if I actually had the wherewithal, so to speak to put two into together and realize that they were Poss, but someone could be talking to me, too, and attacking me I would’ve never killed myself because I would’ve been trying to protect you and the kids but I didn’t know I didn’t know it was going on and yeah I try to meet with her but part of it was out of respect for Christ on her part and love possibly for a ghost not a demon a ghost him I know that sounds crazy doesn’t it but you’d be surprised but someday when you’re in heaven you’ll see but that’s the thing so if this isn’t clear, I’m trying my best but it’s just I’m sorry that we’re having this conversation. I’m not even sure if you’re talking to me if I’m just talking to your spirit but be careful take good care of our kids be very careful. They watch you and die, and I will keep an eye on you as well. Be praying for you so to speak as much as the dead can do anything I’ll be doing it which may not be that much, but it might be enough it might not be nothing Kate again I’m incredibly sorry those boys are mine and I will do whatever it takes to make it up to them someday in Heaven.” says Matt.

“ well, I am I think you think you’re shocking me and I don’t think you really are and honestly I don’t think you’re in my life. I think you made my life infinitely more fascinating that it was been without you if this blog is real wow if you if she really, if your cousin actually found the illuminati if Lacey actually found the illuminati and you’re actually able through the Holy Spirit if he’s allowing us to talk to me wow OK, you have made my life so much more cool I have two amazing kids with you who I love and I’m mad that your dad I am mad that our marriage didn’t work out the way that we wanted.” says Kate.

“ would you ever contact Lacey or would you just secretly read this like I did?” he says.

“ it’s not likely I probably would just read it.” she says.

“ and what was the point of sharing all that to confess your sins him and also because people need to understand some thing about a lot of things are yeah I definitely change your perception of her by sharing that in time I don’t know that anyone in our family would be all that shocked, but I think a lot of people reading this blog might be we’re not white trash we’re really not him it’s legal to marry your second cousin him and she’s not the sexually repressed repressive person that you think she is so if she supposed to be with Lem’s, please be careful when you’re reading what she says not to take it the wrong way she doesn’t hate gay men. She really doesn’t matter fact she worries that she likes them too much and so if they’re really just mentally ill, she worries that she somehow siding with them too much and so then she tries to be fair and so well but maybe they’re not going to have it because she actually worries that you might not be not as yourselves with that part of you will be different somehow, and be careful with that. Um, you can’t expect her to totally condone what you’re doing though even if she hopes the best in Christ when is he back with you because there are a lot of people who think it’s insane in a different sort of way potentially, so be careful with your judgment of her for not believing what you want her to believe and also be careful with us I I don’t look almost anything like her at all. I am very Nordic looking she’s not she looks somewhat Norwegian, but barely so it’s not like we look alike and we’re that similar and then we somehow found each other attractive. No it was a horrible thing and yet I’m glad that I met her. You know so to speak, but it was horrible to have her as a cousin not have her. She’s a wonderful cousin it’s just I was not prepared for that so to speak.” says Matt.

“ so we’re going to go to bed now and Matthew is headed somewhere and will hopefully be able to finally start editing things tomorrow.” says Lem