“Lacey Explains” by Lem

All right, let me try to explain why I was laughing.

There are two things that happen when a child is molested. Every time. No exceptions ever. The first thing that happens is that the child dissociates but association is not necessarily as bad as people think it is basically they leave the situation in someway. It becomes unreal to them, and the reason why it’s not bad in this case is because it isn’t real for them. It’s not real sex. I don’t care what anyone’s told you about anything it’s not real, I’m serious it’s not real sex. It’s not ever real sex with a child that is completely impossible. They may experience some thing that similar to real sex, but it is not real sex. I can try to explain it more to you but frankly, I’m irritated by most peoples stupidity on this issue and I don’t have the patience right now but it really isn’t real. It’s it it’s not that it’s fake. It’s that it isn’t possible, it’s almost medically impossible. It’s basically scientifically and medically impossible. Regardless of what they experience physically or emotionally That makes it seem real to them or anyone else. It is not possible for it to be real. It’s 100% impossible.

The second thing that happens is that the adult hallucinates for the adult it is real because they’re an adult so the adult may experience feelings of love that for them are actually real. Those feelings are based on insane delusions and hallucinations potentially even of some sort, but there they’re experiencing real feelings of sexual desire and love, so for the adult it’s real and they get frustrated by that they become violent because of that for you they become suicidal because of that it’s absolute hell for that. I don’t know why people are so unhinged and inhumane thinking that the best thing to do for a pedophile is to liberate them to make assholes of themselves in front of all of eternity And live in a delusional world where they harm somebody and try to steal their soul potentially I mean that is the dumbest response you could possibly have

To be honest, the best thing to do might be to castrate them or find someway to totally destroy their sexual desire, but I’m not sure if that’s possible so to be honest a lot of those people might be better off dead just like a lot of the children being held hostage might be better off dead, and I’m an adult, and I’m an actual intellectual, not a pseudo-intellectual freak from the middle class who thinks too highly of themselves I’m not some pampered spoiled little bitch from some suburb and white America, who has no fucking clue how dumb they look most of human civilization.

No, being a pedophile is a living hell it would be absolute fucking living hell. I don’t know if it would be better or worse than having severe schizophrenia. I don’t know, but it would be absolute hell, and I sincerely pray for them because what they’re living through is hell and I think maybe some of them try to avoid that bye-bye thinking that they’re fine I’m not sure where they may lose their conscience I don’t know him maybe some of them already have a pre-existing condition of of antisocial personality disorder or something of that sort and it’s possible that they actually might really am that they might actually really be, you know, totally deranged outside of just being a pedophile but I think they’re probably a number of them who are really just miserable people who would rather probably in many cases, be dead themselves.

Could theoretically cause some of them live and just avoid it yeah maybe but I think a good number of them probably really would be better off dead. I mean there’s an afterlife I sleep with ghosts I’m not sure if you remember who you were talking to when I said all that just now, but from my perspective, they really are better off that in many cases I don’t see why that’s heartbreaking to say that there could be millions of people right now who would actually be better off that the world is so dark and evil There a lot of idiots whining right now and bitching and moaning at me for saying the truth I don’t know what the hell it is you want me to say to you?

You know, and it’s like there are people who are yeah we’re in comas right now who might be better off dead there are people who are of suffering from cancer and are never going to get better who might be better off just dying. My aunt Shelly died from breast cancer, and I think about all of the treatment that she went through, throwing up losing her hair And I think could she have just died without getting sick and then it saved all that money and it’s like she still exists and I actually think she’d agree with me there that there is an afterlife and so when you’re living in Christ there’s not really there’s not really a reason Why you would probably need to be alive if your life is that miserable like if you’re being held hostage if you’re living in a shit body or your head is totally fucked up or if you’re homeless and you’re 10 nobody loves you if the Holy Spirit comes to you and tells you to jump off a cliff, you might be better do better off doing that and I’m speaking from personal experience I don’t like the fact that I’m talking to Peter Thiel right now in the illuminati and that he seems like he’s about 30 years old with an IQ about 112 at most and a degree from the University of Minnesota Mankato and that he works at a call center for a credit card company that’s what you seem like right now it’s me. I feel like I’m talking to an idiot on educated heck-“ says Lacey.

Later.

Curb Your Enthusiasm plays.

Peter Thiel almost came on to Lacey. He ended up calming her down. They had a very pleasant conversation and then he said, is this the kind of conversations that you used to have with your husband or are these kind of conversations that you used to have that wasn’t quite what you said, but I am he’s not 100% gay necessarily. And nothing really happened almost at all but him yes Jack was on a little offended by that because I think Jack does find Peter attractive and actually Lacey does too.

Laceyz Lacey is not Lacey is not doing anything with him but but I think it still did kind of irritate Jack just a tiny bit.

Someone laughs.

“ I could see Peter Teal with a woman or a man I like him as a gay person or bisexual to be honest with you Jack I prefer you with a man I’m a living billionaire if it’s allowed in heaven, there’s just something about you when you’re allowing that part of your self out if that’s the way, God created you makes you nicer and more self-aware and less lacking in social Grace. Everyone said you were so witty but I find you arrogant. There’s something about you as a homosexual that just seems more sensitive and it is in an endearing. You just seem like a deeper person.” says a living billionaire.

He breaks down and cries. “I wanted to be liked. I really wanted to be liked.” says JFK.

Later.

“What is the mystery of Kate and Matt all about?” asks Lacey of Lem.

“She’s not real.” says Lem.

“Then why did he marry her?” asks Lacey.

“Lacey where are you?” he says.

Tree Strings by Jonny Greenwood plays.

“I have no idea.” says Lacey.

And at that 30 child hostages die. All happy to be with God.

Alethia by Jonny Greenwood plays.

“You’re with me.” says Lem. “When did that happen?”

“In high school.” says Lacey.

“When I was in high school. I made myself a teenager with Christ. …Yes.” says Lem. “We’ve been together ever since.

You’re not real either to lots of people. You know you exist. But they can’t tell.

She’s…dark. Whether that’s reincarnation or darkness it is darkness. …He chose to marry her. Not you. Not me.” says Lem.

1:14

“Lacey I’m not as stupid as you think.

I know there’s no darkness. After death. Or it’s just…death. But when I said that…I was milking people’s sympathy for my pain.” says Erin.

3:11

“You feel pain?” says Lacey, reaching for her soul.

“I feel…numb.” she says.

“Do you feel happiness?” says Lacey.

“Yes.” she says,

“How?” asks Lacey.

“I’m high. I’m…drunk. …And people love me. And I’m very successful. And I rarely feel guilty.” says Erin.

3:56

The song ends.

“You’re not impressed by that?” asks Satan.

“No not at all. It makes me sad for her.” says Lacey.

Overtones by Jonny Greenwood.

“Why?” asks Lem.

“There’s an enormous amount of beauty and truth in Godly sadness.” says Lacey. “If any of her happiness is real then great. But it seems…very possibly insane.”

“Dear god…Diego came on to you…you reacted…and that’s all there is to it.” says Chris.

2:05

“Yup.” says Lacey.

The song ends.

It starts over.

“When Kate was little she developed a sense of importance from her father. Possibly because of how much he loved her.” says Matt.

Lacey thinks.

“But she’s not that important. That’s absolute bullshit. Nobody is.” says Lacey. “We’re all important. And it’s great to feel loved. I love my children. Very much.” says Lacey. “But…being loved by your parents doesn’t make you entitled to anything and everything you could ever want. Because sometimes people don’t belong to us…and sometimes situations aren’t ours to have…

Peace, safety and love are everyone’s right. But you aren’t all entitled to sleep with me. Only Lem is. For example.

…I understand her confidence and joy and love from her father is good mostly. But…to me she seemed…almost certain of her infallibility. Maybe I just didn’t understand her, Matt.” says Lacey.

“Did we seem like that?” asks one of Lacey’s second cousins.

Lacey thinks. “Slightly. Not as much.”

“I met her. I know what you mean.” says another cousin.

“Does she hold herself accountable at all?” asks Lacey.

“No.” she says.

“Does she hold us responsible?” asks Lacey.

“Yes.” she says. “She thinks it’s the way he was raised.”

“How so?” says Lacey.

“Repression of our emotions.” she says.

A dead actor from The Master stares at Lacey.

Lacey cries.

“He spoke.” he says cryptically.

0:40 from Overtones plays.

“It reminds me of that film with Robin Williams.” says Lacey.

“He abandoned his sons. By accident.” says Lem. “But otherwise…he did speak.”

“I agree!” says Johnny Anderson.

“Lacey what happened?” asks a reader. “YOU KNOW.”

The Split Saber by Jonny Greenwood plays.

“I think he was looking for a wife. And it was very hard to find one. And he became very depressed and hopeless. And I don’t think he was capable for some reason of withstanding a bad marriage. I think he felt too devastated. I’m not sure why entirely but I think it just really affected him. And I think at first they could probably work through their differences and it was fine but then his time went by and he got older and into his 40s. I think he started to question a lot of things about his life and a lot of things about life in general. And I think it just seemed-

See that’s where I get lost because I have it figured out he’s depressed. He’s sad. And I know the illuminati could’ve easily tricked him into killing himself if they exist, and I fully think that they could easily exist. That being said, I don’t entirely think that’s what happened.

You know Vertigo is mysterious, because Vertigo is all about the supernatural and the natural, but everything gets neatly reasoned away when we find out that she really is just a floozy from Kansas City. A floozy, who was having affair with a man who married money, who was trying to kill his wife for her inheritance. Everything gets totally explained. But there’s something about the supernatural in that film before they explain it away that is what happened here. I don’t think it’s that Kate was after his money necessarily at all. I suppose that’s possible as a reason why she married him to some degree but I don’t think that she would’ve killed him just to get his money.

What was in that film before they explained it away? What were they talking about and I’m not even talking about ghost necessarily it’s something to do with San Francisco and that Catholic monastery. What is that? What is that? That’s what I was possibly trying to grapple with by going to that ancient sunken island, but it didn’t work. What is that?” says Lacey.

“I think that’s just the daemonic?” says Jonah.

Later.

“You’re destroying innocence and guilt. With child hostages. But you’re not destroying people. You can’t. Or the truth. You’re just obscuring reality.” says Lacey to the Illuminati.

She thinks.

“I think that’s it in Vertigo.” she says. “The gays killed Matthew. But I don’t think they meant to. How did they do it? The same way Midge killed Madeline.” says Lacey.

“How?” asks Barbara.

“The late 1800’s were real. Even in San Francisco. Right? …And Midge is an intellectual. She’s also intuitive. …She knows something horrific is happening with Johnny and Madeline but she can’t figure out what.

She cares about Johnny. Quite sincerely. And she cares about herself quite sincerely too. She doesn’t necessarily mean any harm to Madeline…but she is very jealous of her. And while she has innocence she’s not perfectly innocent.

Johnny needs to be left alone. And given freedom. But she’s…determined.

I’m not Madeline. Lem’s not Johnny. But there’s a similarity.

Now here’s where it gets weird.

Midge stood in a spiritual gap. Charismatic, charismatic Christians would know what I’m talking about. She’s stood in a sort of spiritual gap. Not in an innocent way, and not entirely in an evil way, but she did not belong there. I think she conjured things. I think she harnessed things. I think she interfered with things that were trying to manifest that were both good and evil but she definitely interfered. It was sort of I think, spiritually as sort of centerpoint in the film in the darkness, and in the shadows.

I think the gay community has done that with a lot. I’m pretty sure he was straight, but I don’t think that they’ve entirely destroyed that possibility and yet they have at the same time the thing is it’s about that but it’s some thing else there’s some thing that they’re harnessing, or standing in the way of or that they’re in that reminds me of that film and I don’t know what they’re doing but it feels like they just keep messing around and I don’t know if it’s that obsession with lamb or if it’s an obsession with gay love, and an in history I don’t know what it is, but there’s some thing that they’re like invested in kind of like midge And it’s really hard to sort of shake them off kind of like it was hard to shake her off and it’s just weird.

What are the end? Reminds me of the shining it reminds me of a haunted hotels. In the wild west. It reminds me of vertigo. Are they in some sort of time wormhole where are they? What are they blocking accidentally? What it what is it that they’re like involving themselves in that they shouldn’t be involved in with him, there’s something weird about it and I am not saying that they’re hundred percent innocent or 100% guilty even I don’t know what they’re doing but it reminds me of Mitch kind of and we’re not perfectly similar to those characters but there’s just something about it reminds me of that film.

End I am Madeline maybe the real Madeline who Johnny actually could’ve been in love with the one who she was pretending to be how about that I am the real Madeline and the film she’s completely dead, but nobody knows that I’m alive, but what if I’m slightly dead in someway that no one knows.

He was in love with Madeline. I think he was in love with me with Kim Novak‘s character, but I also think that in a way he was in love with Madeline. What even would have to wonder if she was actually possessing Kim Novak‘s character unbeknownst to Kim Novak, and he actually was in love with the real Madeline who was dead could’ve happened like was that were the vertigo was coming from it’s like cause she was outside of time or something and so maybe he actually was in love with a ghost Who was possessed in the woman who had killed her to get back at that woman

So that would be me.

That’s very much my personality to some degree.

But who then is Kim Novak‘s character? Is it Karen I think her name might be Karen if that’s what her name is it’s very creepy. I wonder if that’s Matt. Stay with me. It seems dumb now, but I don’t know. I don’t think Matt and there’s nothing between lemon Matt romantically, but I wonder if Matt’s or people like Matt have deceived both of us in someway so and they might not even I don’t know Karen I think if that was her name obviously meant harm But it almost seems like there was some weird sort of innocence to her where she knew what she was doing was evil, but she also felt like there was something innocent about her in some weird way. I just I wonder if that’s what happened to Matt Susan see that’s for the gays may have accidentally killed him if there’s reincarnation, I wonder if he is responsible for something evil the same way that that Karen was.

Or if he had some evil in his heart, kind of like Karen , some sort of callousness or something. And he didn’t deserve to die necessarily and I’m not sure if Karen did either she actually could’ve been somehow in abusive relationship and got stuck helping him but that wasn’t in the movie but I wonder if in reality that character would’ve been somehow stuck in some thing and so I wonder if by hanging on to Johnny so to speak Which is kind of an eerie thing to say, but I wonder if by hanging onto Johnny in the gay community just like Midge did if they accidentally surges insisted on truth coming out and it’s coming out very brutally.

Is that good? Is that bad it’s complicated don’t kill them on Matthews behalf. I’m not saying that I’m not at all if God told me to say otherwise I would but I am I’m saying don’t do that. I’m not trying to hang them. I’m simply saying, I wonder if some thing accidentally has happened And that’s where if they are jealous and evil in anyway or covetous or some thing they’re gonna have to be accountable Scott not not that I hate them, but Mitch might’ve been covetous as well and jealous and possessive and God convert the situation but I wonder the movie vertigo is in the dark. Everything is in the dark and I wonder if we’re in a very dark time And so like I said it’s sort of like everything is just so on edge and just one little kindling of a fire one little shake you know no it’s just everything is bad so I missed that. I just wonder if they went at eight I do think they’ve gone too far Insisting one was gay over the last few years but but I’m not saying they’re 100% evil. I just think they’ve gone too far but he’s dead now and who is Kate that’s the thing who is Kate is she’s a husband I know now we’re getting really dicey because I feel like the Kim community would admit to maybe being not 100% innocent in regard to me I don’t know how I feel and again please don’t kill them. I’m not saying that because Peter Teal was nice to me I’m just saying, please don’t kill them and let God deal with whatever they’ve done in their heart that was inappropriate or if you want to confront someone in conversation and convict them appropriately, that would be different, but It’s very complicated.

You know like if you were to say to a homosexual oh, did you ever read the David Pitts book lemon jack? Yeah, you know I respect your community in a lot of ways for trying so hard I mean I don’t know if people say this, but I respect your community for trying so hard to stand up for themselves, but I think sometimes you let yourselves off the hook and you get involved with the wrong people like JFK and pedophiles.

Maybe Mitch got involved with the wrong people at times to somehow I’m not sure how but I can see that character doing that.

But no and I’m saying those keys I don’t want to think that she’s the husband that’s really awful but then it’s like what what who are you Kate do you know him what is that? I don’t think she’s ever killed somebody I don’t think she’s even necessarily jealous of anyone, but I can’t figure her out and I hope there’s reincarnations that she’ll be happy with whoever she’s with, but I said I would like to let go of her at this point spiritually and just let her and Matt figure things out but I can’t because she keeps coming back to me whether she reads this blog or not.” says Lacey.

“ so she’s literally spiritually like somehow connected to you now in someway that you can’t get rid of?” says a gay man.

“ yes, no I can’t. I can’t shake her. She just keeps coming back to me over and over and over again.” says Lacey.