“Call Me STOOPID!” by Olios or OLIVER! or…someone

The Message by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five plays.

Oliver and Elios have anal sex.

“Call me…STOOPID.” says Oliver to Elios doing a (cheesy) dance in 1983.

“What!?” says Elios.

Oliver laughs. Puts his shirt back on his slightly buff body. He’s super aware of every positive thing about himself. He KNOWS what he looks like when he puts on his own damn shirt. Right? Wow! He smiles farting a narcissistic fart…that smells pretty to Elios. For the moment.

Elios grins. Poor sod.

Oliver sadistically laughs at him. But it kinda looks like love. “Man! You are…STUPID.” he explains to Elios.

Elios is blinded and numb and possibly a dumbass narcissist himself.

“No. You call me, STOOPID.” says Elios, seductively.

Oliver feels incredibly narcissistically threatened so he reaches out and hugs him. They embrace.

When The Shit Goes Down by Cypress Hill plays.

They kiss and ‘make love’ one last time.

They separate. Touch their pointer fingers to their lips. Blow kisses.

“CALL ME BY YOUR NAME!” says Elios.

“CALL ME BY YOUR NAME!!” says Oliver.

They laugh.

They smile.

Part ways.

Elios walks off. Oliver walks off.

(Now in reality they’re either going to end up married as gay couples can be. Or they’ll end up…barely caring about each other at all.)

They Want FX by Das EFX plays.

Elios lights-up.

Oliver does not.

Elios has bad cramps and lays in bed crying.

Oliver is bored.

Elios gets high.

Oliver feels sad.

Elios calls his female friends and (he very slightly flirts with them) they have fun.

Oliver comes on to his weird, perverted mother. Goes and gets high.

Elios misses Oliver but is playing hard to get. So he makes out with a guy he meets at a bar.

Oliver goes to sleep. He feels suicidal.

Elios is so bored with Oliver.

Oliver is mad. Because he can tell Elios doesn’t give a shit. He can sense it.

So Oliver calls Elios.

Elios talks to him, very awkwardly. Annoyed.

Oliver feels threatened so he tries.

Elios and Oliver get into a toxic relationship. Except I don’t like that. So…I’ll REALLY play with them.

Elios threatens Oliver’s life.

Oliver…takes it very seriously.

Elios tells Oliver that he’s going to kill them both if Oliver doesn’t stay with him.

Oliver grabs the gun.

Oliver examines the gun.

Elios falls to ground and weeps in fear.

Oliver shoots Elios while laughing maniacally.

Then Oliver takes the gun back home and shoots his mother.

Then Oliver…walks into a busy city alone somewhere in France. Losing his mind.

He’s eventually found by the French police.

He’s currently dying of diabetes in a French jail.

That’s REALITY.

How is it not!?

Meet Virginia by Train plays.

Let’s try again.

Oliver breaks Elio’s heart. But as an adult Elios slaps his father in the face as he screams, “YOU COCK SUCKING BASTARD!!! I HATE YOU!!”

2:07

I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry plays.

Let’s try again.

Oliver has a mental breakdown and decides not to leave Elios.

Elios gets totally bored with him. Eventually.

Oliver becomes a clinical psychologist.

Elios becomes a drug addict temporarily before wasting the rest of his life doing mostly meaningless stuff.

September by Wallerstedt plays.

Let’s try again.

Oliver invites Elios to his wedding.

Elios…commits suicide but nobody can find his body.

Curb Your Enthusiasm Theme by Megaraptor plays.

Elios says, “Don’t keep calling me by your name. …No! You don’t remember EVERYTHING! …I barely orgasmed. You SUCK SHIT at hand-jobs. Go FLY A KITE!” as he hangs up the phone.

Oliver feels weird. Smokes a cigarette. Contemplates suicide. Lies about it. TOTALLY LIES ABOUT IT.

Mission: Impossible by Lalo Schifrin plays.

Elios bakes a pie! …Yup. Elios just bakes a pie. …And feels weirdly better.

He brings the pie to a nursing home. EVERYONE LOVES IT.

He reads a good book.

He makes out with a girl.

He…writes a sad (bad) poem about Oliver.

Oliver has narcissistic personality disorder and his wife breaks his heart. But Elios marries a nice person. And Elios is happy.

El-Shaddai as performed by Amy Grant plays.

“So! You just don’t find their love at all believable?” says a smug Boomer scarf woman to Lacey.

“No! He’s not…a thing.” says Lacey.

“You’re right?” says Tsar Vladimir Putin.

“Why!?” she says.

Lacey grimaces. “WOW!!” says Lacey. “I NEED A BREAK!! YOU ARE SOOO DUMB!!!!”

“I’m still interested.” she says.

“NO YOU’RE NOT!” says Lacey.

“BOBBY. Let me think for myself. Okay!?” she says.

“Okay.

So!

Elios is…naive.” says Lacey.

“You win.” she says.

“We’re not done yet!!” says Lacey.

“Fine.” she says.

“Oliver is a narcissist. HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT!?? Or are you a pedophile?” says Lacey.

“The Firebird” by Stravinsky plays.

“How do you know?” she says.

“He’d NEVER get married to ANYONE after that kind of sex. YOU CAN NOT. And if you do…it DESTROYS YOU.” says Lacey. “That’s what MY NOVEL was about! …AND YOU SURE AS HELL BETTER NOT!!”

“Who have you accidentally destroyed?” she says, realizing Lem is Lacey in a spiritual sense and Bobby even knows that but is too dumb to understand what that means metaphysically.

“Putin…is probably a soulmate. He’s fine. So far.

Who has it wrecked?

F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Harold Loeb.

Joseph Patrick Kennedy Senior.

Joseph Patrick Kennedy Junior.

John Fitzgerald Kennedy (I was too young to not be his victim but too old to not ruin him.)

Louis Hill Junior.

Michael Rockefeller.

And nobody else.” says Lacey.

She gets nervous. “So if Lem was straight…why do I feel like there are other men?” she says.

“WHO!?” says Lacey.

“You!?” she says.

Putin looks baffled.

Lacey tries to understand what she’s talking about. “How me?”

“How are you not damaged?” she says.

“Oh! Goodness.

El-Shaddai as performed by Amy Grant plays.

Well…I am a abandoned. And I get over it. But there’s no great connection. That’s SICK DELUSION. …When I’m abandoned the deal is off you feminist-kike traitor.” says Lacey.

“I’m not a Jew.” she says.

“I GUESSED THAT.” says Lacey.

“What’s that feel like…breaking like that?” she says. “After they abandon you?”

“Mmm…let me think.

It’s deeply painful. EXCRUCIATINGLY painful. …And then…you find all of their flaws. And you realize you’re FINE. And you feel NOTHING for them. Essentially.

Ahh…I would not describe it as breaking. I would describe it as…being violently humiliated…psychologically coerced into abandoning your dignity….temporarily…and then…slaughtering their soul in Christ for eternity if necessary.” says Lacey. “Or possibly just letting go.”

“So only peasants break?” she says.

“YES!! DUH!! That was THE GAME. That was MY FAVORITE TOPIC!” says Scott Fitzgerald.

“No. She NEVER breaks. Not like that! She gets suicidal. But she doesn’t break.” says Tsar Putin.

“So how do you two reach each other?” says a reader.

“We have each other. Right away.” says Putin.

“So! What bullshit are Oliver and Elios up to?” asks Lacey.

“They’re lovers?” she says.

“Mmm…not really.” says Lacey. “Elios is a desperate man. And Oliver is too.”

“Because there’s no connection between them?” she says.

“No! There’s a connection. …Elios is just…naive. And Oliver is narcissistic.” says Lacey. “And…so…Oliver destroyed it.”

“So…you can destroy a bond?” she says.

“YES! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT ANYMORE!?? THAT IS PURE EVIL! AND DEEP INSANITY!!!” says Lacey.

“But they have a REAL ETERNAL BOND!” she says.

Putin shakes his head no.

“I agree. They don’t.” says Lacey.

“Okay. You two do. I guess. But they don’t?” she says.

“No.” says Putin. “Of course they don’t!”

“Of course they don’t.” says Lacey. “Oliver is….narcissistic.”

“They may not agree on everything. GROW-UP!” says Anderson Cooper.

“Tsar Vladimir Putin…may not think homosexuality is…healthy. I…am…very much…open to God’s real direction on the matter. …But…he is a narcissist.” says Lacey.

“Do you think I am evil?” she says. “If I wrote it?”

“You might be! You should pray to God about it. Huh?” says Lacey.

“How is Oliver a narcissist but you aren’t!?” she says.

“Because I’m ABANDONED. ARE YOU AN INCOMPETENT PERSON!?” says Lacey.

“But you’re abandoned! So go be abandoned!” he says.

“WOW! YOU’RE SUCH A NARCISSISTIC FUCKARD.

What’s it like having such a shit brain? You poor thing.” says Lacey, laughing at her kindly.

“Difficult!” she says.

“Yeah. Man! I’m sorry.” says Lacey, sincerely.

“I don’t think narcissists are used to dealing with someone quite as emotionally brawny as you. You’re like him. Yeah…you’re like Putin or Lem who is 6 foot 4 but like internally and it’s-it’s an adjustment to realize that someone like that could exist emotionally and that-that person is just gonna live through the pain, grit their teeth and then be fine and there’s like nothing you can do.” she says.

“Yes because then people who are narcissistic, unfortunately start oftentimes to try to double down and make it more painful thinking that it’s going to break me but it doesn’t really work and so then I start dying instead of breaking or maybe breaking isn’t the right word probably. ‘I’m just not going to get over it’ or something is what they want. But then that’s the thing you could probably-you could probably blow me up, you could probably kill me, but I am 6 foot 4 as a man and huge and I don’t have asthma. God might’ve healed me of that and ended my problems with eyeglasses we’ll say. My eye situation or I’m like Putin and I just start shooting? But it’s not that I’m just not feeling pain. I felt an incredible amount of pain in my life! Excruciating amounts of pain emotionally and to some degree physically but I just don’t care the way that some people do and part of that is probably dysfunction, and then part of that is my strength as a person on my own with Christ. I have strength that had nothing to do with Lem and that was just who I was and that’s been very hard for the Kennedys to handle probably. That I’m strong without him. That my strength didn’t come from him. It was mine. He has his own strength, but I don’t think they realized how much I have of my own strength within me that belongs to me. You might say that it came from my father umm…but it’s definitely mine or you don’t exist either, no human exists if you won’t recognize the fact that I possibly got it from my father. But it’s still mine. No, you’re destroying humans if you can just accept that that’s reality.

You sucked shit with what you wrote and I’m embarrassed for you. How about that?” says Lacey.

“Do you understand what I was grappling with?” she says.

“I wish I was in the room with both of you right now. This is very irritating to me, but I’m trying to be patient.” says Tsar Vladimir Putin.

“I don’t understand, if I may say, what it is that yeah-that you’re grappling with. Because it seems to me like you’re grappling with something that doesn’t exist. What was it that you were grappling with?” says Lacey.

Casi screams. She too wishes to say something.

“If there’s reincarnation, you’ve got me on the line now too.” says Queen Elizabeth I.

“I was trying to grapple with the idea that Bobby was in love with Lem and that’s possibly almost all. But also, I mean within that it’s like could you share a bond with somebody that was extremely intense and nothing else mattered but that but then it didn’t seem intense necessarily to anyone but you.” she says. 

“ i’m going to try to protect you, but that’s stupid as fuck every fucking middle-class person in America, who is married to their twin flame had a marriage like that in the greatest generation like in the television show him what is that Mary Tyler Moore it’s when she was in with Dick Van Dyke. Yes, the Dick Van Dyke show that that that bond could’ve actually been they could’ve been twin flames. They got along so well they were so in love they were so happy together I mean they just understood each other. They were only ever thought think about how loved it must’ve been in the kind of sex they must’ve had behind closed doors so to speak mean, if you really stretch it, you could even wonder if they did have twin beds and they just did that to be kinky ass but that’s the thing not like kinky kind of like they separate and they withhold themselves from each other while they sleep and so they desire each other more when they’re awake maybe that’s why they don’t have a formal dining room if you know what I mean but stuff like that I mean with anybody does anybody even know how in love they were or how hot their sex life actually was no do you know we just sat there, lusting after them apparently, or Meyering them and we never really realize that they were fucking each other and so it’s like yes of course that could happen. Of course there could be some thing where it’s quiet and simple and ordinary but do you I’m sorry if I’m being off do you mean it like that or do you mean it maybe I’m being off or do you mean it sort of like him sort of like it’s like really nobody knows like it’s really not obvious at all?” says Lacey,

“ yes!” she says.

“ I mean, I think the answer is obviously yes that I’ve been asked I was fascinated by this most of my life. The answer is obviously yes, but then there would be evidence for it most likely there could maybe there wouldn’t be him, and then God would know, but nobody else would know, but no I take that back. How likely is that there’s most likely going to be evidence for it it’s not 100% necessarily that I can come up with the top my head certain but I would bet that there’s probably most likely going to be evidence of some sort at least some evidence.” says Lacey.

“ yeah you’re right I think some counselors would deal with people like him and give up because they don’t want to hear any sort of explanation for anything they believe they know everything they don’t wanna hear what you have to say about anything they don’t care about any sort of logic, and it’s been hell dealing with him, because he’s totally incapable of being reasoned with.” she says,

“ you poor thing I can only imagine what a shit show it must’ve been if you have any actual writing ability to have to deal with him.” says Lacey.

“ yeah oh no it’s been like miserable like worse than pulling teeth possibly.” she says.

“ do you know and actually does parlor is and I got so angry I think maybe psychically potentially was that I sent some thing like that happening with him and with people like you and I thought they must’ve just caved in. I’m still gonna wonder that slightly maybe they must’ve just caved in and not stood up to him and just pamper him which is disgusting but it’s also possible that you were bullied into it and then I feel very sorry for you. I possibly don’t know why he’s alive. He probably murdered his wife although I can’t guarantee it.” says Lacey.

“ how do you think he murdered his wife?” says Massachusetts.

“oh fuck oh fuck you know how he did it., he just wipes your ass doesn’t he?” says Lacey to Massachusetts.

“ yes and we’re too stupid to think that it matters.” says Harvard.

“ oh, yes, a bastion of civility and upper class ethics in a sea of trashy white people who may or may not have a conscience.” says Lacey.

“ do you really think most people in Massachusetts are the poor and you’re that uncertain about our actual ability to receive the Eucharist?” says a Catholic in Boston.

“ Yes, yes yes I am slightly worried. Do you think they just invented Catholicism from farting to fall too hard? They put some thought into that bitch. They put some damn good work into that religion. and I am a little worried that you all have yes, obviously unconfessed sin, but there are many other things I worry about as well I suppose that’s the end line but no, I do worry. It seems like you people are just two sheets to the wind. and it’s possible that you’re worse than that or you’re better than that but it’s a very grim very grim view, the one that I have. No…it doesn’t look good and I think, ‘How the fuck does this keep going on?’” says Lacey.

“ you’re mocking us with the way that you talk!” says one of them.

“ yes I am, but I’m also giving you a compliment. Actually, I’m being rather curious and trying to figure you people out.” says Lacey.

“ don’t let us fool you we’re just the Irish and you know bunch of other shit.” says someone.

“ I don’t think so that’s not how cultural anthropology works. No you people are your own group of people you’ve evolved over time that is how evolution works. Sorry and unfortunately I haven’t quite grasped your concept yet so to speak.” says Lacey.

“So Lem what actually happened with umm…what actually happened with you and Bobby?” asks someone.

“I thought he was a joke.” says Lem.

“No, you didn’t!” says Bobby.

“No I mean you were a little shitmaker. You were a short little fucked-up shitmaker…in my house…that I babysat. …I wiped your ass when you took a real big shit once at two. I tied your shoes and I slapped you in the face. You don’t remember it because you were a little bitch. You were trying to put me in my place and you were dumb-as-fuck and I was annoyed by you and I was drunk and I lost my temper and I slapped you. …I would’ve just knocked your whole fucking head off, I couldn’t stand you so much. But that’s not allowed. You know? We’re not allowed to just rip people’s heads off, even though I would’ve relished a chance to rip your fucking little head off.” says Lem Billings to Bobb Kennedy Junior.

“And that’s not true!” says Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Yeah…do you have any reason for thinking that? I bet you do. I bet you have lots of delusions. You know I never sexually touched you though Bobby.” says Lem.

“No you did! We had sex 50-50 50 times!” says Bobby.

“Well I’m over you now! I’m over you now, Bobby and I’m straight and I’m over you!” says Lem.

“No you’re not!!!

I’m over you!!!

See…you’re playing tricks with me now you little weasel! I’m over you, you’re not over me and that’s OK because eventually we’re gonna get back together again! It’s OK all I’ll be with you someday. I love you.“ says Bobby, smiling.

“Nope, that’s not true. I actually was just humoring you. We never had sex Bobby you’re insane. I never physically touched you sexually at all!” says Lem Billings to Bobby.

“That’s not true!!!

Cheryl and Olivia both feel bad for me because you’re attacking me right now and they know that you-they know that you touched me. They know you did one time!

We were sitting on the sofa and we were eating popcorn and you just reached over and grabbed my dick and you said, ‘Oh my God! I’m hungry! I wonder what it would be like if I buttered up your cock!?’ Ha ha ha.” says Bobby Kennedy Junior, laughing.

“That never happened Bobby. We never had any sexual contact at all.” says Lem.

“That’s not true! You’re a child molester! Lem you raped me multiple times, and molested me even more!” says Bobby.

“Nope that’s not true Bobby! …Bobby I’m curious what would you do if I really decided to spend eternity with you?” says Lem.

“Lem I know you’re in love with me and I can’t really handle that kind of commitment right now! So you’re just gonna have to wait big guy.” says Bobby, winking.

“Except I was never gay and nothing ever happened between us and you’re insane.” says Lem to Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“That’s not true! Lem that’s just not true. You can say that all you want but I know it’s just because you’re temporarily with a woman and that’s OK! I go through phases like that myself but you’re my lover, you’re the love of my life, you’re my everything.” says Bobby.

“Do you think I’m actually in a sexual relationship with Lacey?” says Lem. 

“I mean not really! I don’t-I don’t really think it’s real! I just I’m humoring you because I’m Bobby Kennedy Junior and I’m a really big deal! I’m a bigger deal than most people alive. Everyone knows who I am! Lem everyone knows who I am, I’m just humoring you!” says. Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“Nope, nothing ever happened between us Bobby and nothing ever will.” says Lem.

“ then a lot of what I read about us isn’t real and I’ve read a lot of reputable sources that have said otherwise do you really think I went around conversing everyone into thinking stuff do you really think my family would do something like that that we would really go around, controlling everyone’s brain and telling them what to think about you, but we care so much what can we possibly be after that you would have to offer us don’t you understand we are the ones offering you guys everything what could what could we possibly be wanting from you other than sex and and love and to be better looking and better bread, dipping butter, bread and having sex and all of that is stuff that we have anyway so we don’t need that from you anyway so I guess we don’t need you at all and we’re worth billions and it isn’t through oil.” says Bobby.

“ how do you have your billion still Bobby?” says an actress.

“ it sounds like you’re telling me that Putin is helping finance the war with his own money which doesn’t surprise me but I don’t really give a shit I’m not that interested in the topic right now I’m a genius I’ll figure it out later

How do I have my billion I have my billion through a gold I’ve invested in a lot of gold lately and I have properties that are family has gold and properties and sometimes we actually do invest in stuff like 401(k)s and different stock options and sometimes we also invest in other things to Our you know we don’t need a lot of money still mostly just properties and then you know we have our hand in the game with a child sex trafficking slave trade I’m saying that because I am trying to help JD Vance and he is trying to help Donald Trump and we’re just trying to help so Our my family makes money from the child’s a sex trafficking, slave trade we have a posse full that may be how Maeve ended up dead and her son because I have made money from selling of children and Ukraine like Joe Biden‘s family, but I fully endorse Donald Trump I fully endorse Donald Trump to I fully I fully and Doris Donald Trump.” says Bobby.

“ if you fully endorse Donald Trump, it’s your family endorses Kamala Harris, Bobby, and they made money from the sex trafficking from the hostage trade as well.” says Jonah Wiley.

“ OK, but but live in Billings, was in love with me I couldn’t of made all that up people couldn’t of been confused.” says Bobby.

“ but what sexual contact did we ever have?” says Lem.

“ one time when we were in the kitchen, you were making a pot of tea and I was making a peanut butter sandwich.,, and you brushed past me and it was my ass. Our asses touched you were you’re making a pot of tea and I was making a peanut butter sandwich. I was just standing there just minding my own fucking business making a peanut butter sandwich and you just brushed past me and I have our asses touched. It was very erotic!” says Bobby.

“ we were in a kitchen in New York City. You were standing about a foot away from the countertop, taking forever to make a peanut butter sandwich. I was exasperated and trying to call myself down, and I made a pot of tea. I was trying to move past you, but I am huge and it was a small kitchen, and I scooted past you as best as I could because I didn’t want my dick touching your penis because you grossed me out, you used to stare at me I knew what you were thinking and that’s part of the reason I wanted to kill you. Your uncle used to look at me like that too and I may have actually killed him. Bobby and I was trying to kill you too. I hate your family I was straight and you held me hostage and fucked with my head and you still are through Lacey, my wife and our children. You’re trying to suffocate her constantly because you’re too upset by the fact that I wasn’t interested in you sexually at all your family had that delusion the cakes and bitches and assholes who cater to you in the media had that opinion because it made them feel better about themselves or something stupid like that, and some other people have gone through sheer torture because of her being angry for righteous reasons and I’m proud of the fact that she beat the shit out of them except I feel sorry for her that she had to fucking bother with their sorry asses.

I was a hell of a lot stronger and tougher than I seemed dime a gentleman and I’m a little big I’m not stupid. our asses Bobby did not touch in a sexual way. You were hard as a rock for me probably constantly you little horny piece of fucking shit and the minute I touched you you probably ejaculate it or something dumb like that is not what happen with your shit cousin, who beat Martha Moxley to a bloody pulp or did he just sit there and watched because he was too worthless to help her? Bobby, you are hearing the truth, whether you like it or not, I was never attracted to men I was never attracted to kids. I was never attracted to you at all, and that’s very hard for you to cognitively understand at all.” says Lem Billings to Bobby Kennedy Junior.

“ then why did you have us carry you around? Why did you do stuff like that?” says Kerry Kennedy, panicking.

“ I was a very complicated person and that’s reality. I was not who you think I was. I had reasons I’ve shared them on this blog. I’ve been very clear and you’re not hearing me by choice to at least some degree.” says Lem. “ and you have no evidence. You have absolutely no evidence you’ve made stuff up because you’re bitch peasant cakes from 1255 or some stupid shit like that you people made shit up you made shit up and you made it I mean people have believed you fervently David Pitts wrote a book based on your bullshit that he spent 20 years on he has ruined his reputation long before Lacey ever wrote this block people stop taking him seriously because his book is such shit. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Louis Bayard is in taking it seriously anymore because it’s so phony there’s so many plot holes because you people made the entire fucking thing up and the truth is Lacey doesn’t understand that and she doesn’t trust me anymore so I can’t shut her up You have this woman being suffocated falling in love with a czar of Russia do you understand what that means!?!” yells Lem.