“Lacey Banks”

Last night Lacey was told by God or someone impersonating God that she is indeed Tom Banks’s daughter, biologically.

“Alright! Lacey! YOU DON’T GET WHY THESE KIDS ARE ANGRY!” yells Casi’s grandma at Lacey.

“No. I don’t.” says Lacey.

She laughs at Lacey and nods. And then Lacey being a Karen from Mean Girls of her generation, the two women just sit in silence. Lacey possibly waiting for a Regina George or Cady Heron to say something.

“Why are we waiting for them!?” says Casi’s grandmother briskly.

“I don’t know.” says Lacey. “You’re the one who started the conversation!”

“Yeah. I did.” she says.

“So! !?!??” says Lacey.

Her grandmother looks uneasy and suddenly embarrassed. She blinks. Very awkwardly ponders.

“I’m mad.” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Ahhh! …Why!?” says Lacey.

“You’re supposed to know.” she says to Lacey.

“WHY!??” says Lacey, deeply offended but trying to maintain her composure.

“Don’t you see!?” she says.

Lacey shakes her head no very slowly, smiling.

She thinks. “Do you understand at all what I would be angry about!!?”

Lacey sighs. “Gosh! …In what context!?”

Casi’s grandma feels empathy and yet also sort of silly. She crosses her arms in front of her. Sighs.

“You’re A LOT prettier than me.” she says.

“You’re scaring me.” says Lacey, getting ready to attack.

“Sweetie! YOU MUST HAVE SOME IDEA!!!” she says.

“GIVE ME A CONTEXT!” says Lacey.

“Ahh…attacking Lacey is not the smack-down of the Old Money you’re hoping for! Just to warn you!” says Kurt Cobain, sincerely.

“HOW DOES SHE NOT KNOW!??” says Casi’s grandmother to Kurt Cobain.

“SHE IS INNOCENT! She is A DITZ!!!! GROW-UP!!!!” he says to Casi’s grandmother.

“Yeah. You dumbasses thought attacking a hot stewardesses daughter made sense!?” says a reader. They try not to laugh at them.

“Who she’s abandoned.” says Casi’s grandmother.

“YEAH! EVEN SMARTER!!!” says another reader mocking them.

“But she’s SMART!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Yes! She actually is incredibly intelligent and tough as nails! But…just because she plays golf…doesn’t mean she isn’t Karen Smith.” says Kurt Cobain.

“No those girls do!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Are you butch?” asks a June Cleaver of Casi’s grandmother.

“Yes. Slightly.” she says. “In a way.”

“Why…are we…mad at Lacey Banks?” says Kurt Cobain, exasperated by Casi’s grandmother.

“Because SHE’S GLITTER!” says Casi’s grandmother. “AND I…am not.”

“And you want to be!?” says Lacey, baffled.

“She does!” says a dead woman from Detroit.

“Does she!?!??” says Lacey.

“YES!!!” yells Casi’s grandmother.

“Are we done with this stupid game yet? Or are we still playing?” asks Lacey of Kurt Cobain, exasperated herself.

“We’re still playing.” says Courtney Love to Lacey.

“Man! It goes on forever!” says Lacey, her head falling to the table in front of her in genuine exasperation.

Kurt Cobain nods.

“What are you so mad about!?!!!” Lacey pleadingly asks Casi’s grandmother.

“I want to be glitter!” she says.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GLITTER!?!??” says Lacey.

“DUDE!! This chick puts out! …You’re talking to Pamela Anderson!” yells a Boomer at Casi’s grandmother.

Casi’s grandmother thinks. “She does have nice tits. They’re really just smaller.”

“YUP!!!” says a dead Playboy model.

“Not even that small.” says a dead Army veteran.

“Is she actually entirely straight!?!?” says Casi’s grandmother.

“YES!!!!” yells the Army veteran, exasperated.

“Then why is so so damn SMART!?!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“BECAUSE SHE IS!!!! WOW!!!” yells Kurt Cobain.

“That’s unusual!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Honey! Some straight women are that smart! You’re BACKWARD!!!” yells George Bush, exasperated.

“With the tits and shit?” says Casi’s grandmother.

“YUP!!!” says the dead Playboy model.

“No. We’re not hateful. …Ahh…” she thinks. “Dammit. She’s just a ditz!” the woman says, sadly.

“Yup! But she’s incredibly intelligent and fierce. …You are backward! I’m sorry!” says Louis Hill Junior to the woman.

“There are a lot of people like me around here!” she says.

“NO SHIT!!!” says Lacey.

“I just don’t know.” says Casi’s grandmother.

“WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU!?!?” says Lacey.

“I’m just jealous!” she says.

“I kinda doubt that! …WHAT IS IT!?!?” says Lacey.

“Why ain’t my granddaughter…in Vogue!?” says the woman.

“She’s not that pretty.

NEXT!!” says Lacey.

“I thought she was.” she says.

“She’s NOT!!!” says Lacey. “You’re WEIRD!”

“Fine.” says the woman.

“My GOSH!!! What is your problem!?” says Lacey.

“We’re poor.” she says.

“Not that poor!” says Lacey.

“Yeah okay. We had something.” she says.

“But NOT ENOUGH!” says Lacey.

She laughs. “No.” she says, laughing.

“Gosh. …Are you depressed?” says Lacey.

She thinks. Looks incredibly uncomfortable. Thinks. “YES!” she says. “WE ARE!”

“What’s your lineage???” asks Lacey.

She thinks. “1800’s!” she says.

“When!?” says Lacey.

Casi’s grandmother thinks. “1850’s!” she says.

“Where to!?” says Lacey.

“Virginia!” she says.

“Oh! Okay!!!” says Lacey. “Did you have a small plantation?”

“YES!!!” yells her grandfather.

Casi’s grandma winces.

“So you had some…security.” says Lacey.

“IS THIS REAL!?” she says.

“YUP!!” says her grandfather.

“So…you were…very stable working class. VERY STABLE!” says Lacey.

“What’s the difference?” she says.

“YOU HAD HOPE. You had LAND!!” says Lacey. “LAND! Good enough land.”

“We did.” says the woman’s grandfather.

“What’s a good comparison?” she says.

“People today who own $700,000.00 new homes in Woodbury, Minnesota. Or even $2.4 million. New. Woodbury. …It’s…dicey. But…it’s still a real house in Woodbury.” says Lacey.

“Show me the house.” she says.

“Class-wise there’s not much difference! …It’s…new. So…eww. BUT…it’s also new. And huge. And pretty. And-“ says Lacey.

“How much of it did we own!?” she says.

“Oh! …$300,000! In equity. At least. And you can easily make the rest of the payments. Literally weather permitting.” says Lacey.

“How likely is it?” she says.

“Pretty likely!!” says Lacey.

“But that’s all we have. Class-wise?” she says.

“YUP! But…it’s A LOT more than you have now. In a way.” says Lacey.

“So! That’s my BIG DEAL house?” she says.

“Yes! That’s your…only claim to fame and fortune. But…I dunno. …It’s kinda nice?” says Lacey.

“It is.” says Casi’s brother.

“Yeah! You’re not…hopeless. …But the Civil War ruined all that.” says Lacey.

“IT DID!” says her grandfather.

A Black man feels like weeping in exasperation.

“CHRIS! WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS!??” he says.

“I guess Diego was trying to end the world???” says Chris. He shrugs.

“How pissed off are you that they took your house!?” a woman asks Casi’s grandmother.

“Let me see more of it?” she says.

“You’re not impressed! But you like it.” Casi’s grandma says to Lacey.

“Yes! It’s very pretty.” says Lacey.

“It is!” she says. “Dammit! That was MINE!!”

“Yes. It was.” says Lacey, empathetically.

“DAMMIT!” she says.

“I’m ‘better’ than you. …But…golly! It’s…posh.” says Lacey.

“Casi would have been so proud!!” she says.

“Are you glitter? Or is Lacey?” asks Kurt Cobain.

“I am.” she says.

“Yeah. Why are you so…stupidly attacking her?” asks Kurt.

“It’s…evil.” says God.

“Yeah. I’m sorry you don’t have your glitter.” says all of European aristocracy, to Casi’s grandmother.

“It’s MY DAMN GLITTER!!” she says.

“Why is that our problem?” asks Great Britain.

“BECAUSE THEY DONE STOLE IT!!!” she yells,

“In a way they did.” says Tom Banks. “Are you trying to hold my daughter responsible?”

“No. I didn’t know.” she says.

“Yeah! So why are you holding the Seays responsible!?” says Becca.

“They’re…poor little creatures? No! I’m a mouse on a MOUNTAIN!! And this is GOD!!” she says. She thinks. “YOU AIN’T EVEN SHIT!! …WE ARE POOR!!! OKAY!? …And those dogs? Alright!

Let me tell you about those dogs!

Those dogs…are-

Alright. We can talk.

…

Let me tell you something!

Ahh…I have…a feeling those dogs…are my friends.” she says. She weeps.

“So you’re insane?” says a reader.

“SURE AM!” she says. “I’m a meemaw! …And it hurts my heart…that y’all talk about the mummies to me. DON’T TELL ME YOU GOT A MUMMY! …I AM…

…

Yup.” she says.

“So why are we mad at Lacey?” asks Casi.

“She’s a DYKE!!” yells Casi’s grandmother.

“No! She’s not.” says God.

“I ain’t one!!! DON’T TELL ME THAT!” she says.

“But you are one. Lacey’s not!” says God. “Or you kinda were one.”

“I ain’t poor!! SHE IS!!!” yells Casi’s grandmother about Lacey.

“Nope. That’s another lie.” says God.

“No!!! I WIN!!!!” yells Casi’s grandmother.

“NO.” says God.

“FINE!!! I HATE THAT!!” she says. She weeps. “I WANT MY HOUSE!!” she pleads with God.

“Okay. But you can’t get the house through Lacey.” says God.

“That’s WHAT THEY TOLD ME!!” she yells.

“Who?” asks God.

“The golden boys. Who tried to seduce me away from my husband. …Those smart ones! Who lived near the city! They…were smart!” she says.

“Did they seduce you?” asks God.

“Yes? But…no. He was…so good.” she says about Casi’s grandfather.

“What did they tell you?” asks God.

“That she was…ugly. They’d seen her. Naked!” she says.

“That’s not Lacey.” says God.

“But she looks like ‘em!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“HOW?” says God.

“She’s SKINNY. And…ain’t she into…politics and shit?” she says.

“Are you thinking of this woman:

Or this woman:

.” says her husband.

“YES!!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Or Bobby’s first wife!?” says Casi’s mother.

“THAT IS THE WOMAN!!!” she says.

“His first wife was from Indiana.” says Sandy Patty.

“OH SHIT!!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Is that her?” says her husband.

“IT’S PRETTY DAMN CLOSE!!!” she says, nodding.

“No! Lacey’s a bit different dear. They look similar in a way…but they’re VERY DIFFERENT.” says Guerlain.

“You swear!?” she says.

“YES!!” says Guerlain.

She looks shocked.

“She married…Bobby Kennedy!” says a woman who knew them all. In Kentucky.

“No she didn’t!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“No! She did! NO! SHE DID!!” says the woman.

Casi’s grandma looks shocked. “But she got bad tits!”

“That ain’t Lacey!” says a reader. “Are you BLIND?”

Those NORWEGIAN tits work different!” says a man from Tennessee.

“You drive a truck?” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Yup.” he says.

Her grandmother squints. Examines their breasts.

“Are they stuffing!?” she says.

“No! They’re perky.” he says. He shrugs. “It’s not like that! Trust me. I’ve driven there. Okay?”

She looks shocked.

Casi’s grandmother has to think.

“WHAT!?” she says.

“NO! It’s a thing!” he says.

“Why God make them like that!?” she says.

“It’s nice!” he says.

“But I thought it was fake!” she says.

“No! It’s real. They’re perky!” he says.

“So she isn’t lying. Okay. They’re a b or c?” she says.

“Yes!!!” he says. “It’s GOOD!!”

“They got juicy asses too.” says a Black man.

“See…I do not know…Scandinavians.” says Casi’s grandmother.

“IT IS ALL RIGHT THERE!!” says the Black man. “LOOK!!”

“But then all Bobby’s wives have tiny tits!” says Casi’s grandmother, feeling bad for them.

“They do tend to.” says the CIA.

“Oh. Okay. He’s gay?” she says.

“Maybe.” says Peter Thiel. “Somewhat.”

She nods. “See…I don’t know Scandinavians.” she says.

“Yeah. YOU ARE BACKWARD!” says Kurt Cobain.

She thinks.

“Why do I hate his first wife? I’ll tell you why! She’s a snake!” she says. “These people are EVIL!”

“No. She does have small boobs.” says Casi.

“DAMMIT!” says Casi’s grandmother, mortified.

“Grandma…we aren’t THAT worldly.” says Casi.

“See! If Mary…had treated you the way Lacey did…she’d be IN LOVE WITH YOU!!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Who’s Mary?” says Casi.

“WHAT IS UP WITH MARY’S BOOBS!?” says Lacey to Casi’s grandmother.

“What!?” she says.

“What HAPPENED!?” says Lacey.

“Did she have surgery!?” says Lacey.

“I thought that was like you.” says Casi’s grandmother to Lacey.

“So that’s almost entirely natural!” says Casi’s grandfather.

“Yes!! I’ve had two pregnancies! I weighed 157 lbs.. And I’m curvy.” says Lacey. “And that’s not that big.”

“No! But you have actual tits!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“People have always said that.” says Lacey. “WHO SEE ME IN PERSON.”

“My boobs are a little bigger in the second photo. But…I’m very hard to photograph.” says Lacey.

“It’s like your boob DISAPPEARED!!” says a man.

“On camera! But not in reality.” says Lacey.

“Yeah! The CAMERA WAS CORRUPTED!” says the white man nodding, from Appalachia.

“I DID IT!” admits JFK.

“Okay. I believe you.” says the man from Appalachia.

The man in Appalachia laughs. “They’re almost back!”

“Yeah. But the first photo captures the right boob more honestly.” says Lacey.

He nods and rolls his eyes, agreeing with Lacey.

“Sweetie. Be honest. Is that your body?” asks Casi’s grandmother of Lacey.

Lacey thinks. “Yes.” she says, apologetically.

“So see…that’s what you look like!!” she says to Lacey.

Lacey looks shocked.

She has to step away.

She comes back with a chocolate tart and coffee.

“I didn’t entirely know that!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. You and you damn Blow Pops!” she says to Lacey.

Later.

“Did Mary have surgery?” Lacey asks a woman from the Greatest Generation.

“YES!!!” yells Casi’s grandma.

“But that’s so expensive!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. They…were in debt.” says one of Casi’s relatives.

“But my gosh!” says Lacey.

“You don’t think she needed it?” says Casi’s grandmother.

“It’s not healthy!” says Lacey.

“No. But she was desperate.” says a southern woman.

Lacey sighs heavily.

“You don’t know what that’s like?” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Not with men our age. But my living husband put me through a horrible experience. ..And then one day I stood in front of him naked and told him to really look at me. And he did. And he had to be honest.” says Lacey.

“Does he get hard just looking at you?” says the southern woman.

“Yes! But I thought that was ordinary. …Anyway…he had to admit that day that he had refused to really look. …I wonder if he did that partially just to be mean.” says Lacey.

Casi’s grandmother thinks. “HE DID!”

“He knew about what you looked like. But then in order to manipulate and control you he just refused to look!” says the southern woman.

“Yeah. …Oh well. …But….no. I was never loved. …And I’m a ditz. …But I’m not actually stupid.” says Lacey.

“I think Linn lost Miss North Dakota in the swimsuit competition.” says Bethany.

“She might have.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. She had a prettier face. Maybe still does. But…yeah. She’s…not…like…us.” she says to Lacey.

“I could never walk on a stage in a bikini!” says Lacey.

“I got used to it!” says Bethany.

“It’s gross!” says Lacey.

“Yeah. But that’s how they do it.” says Bethany.

“It’s AWFUL!” says Lacey.

“Sweetie…what would happen if you wore a bikini?” asks the southern woman.

“Men get aroused. And when they’re not Lem…or some soulmate…it’s…disturbing.” says Lacey.

“But you showed us you naked. As an Egyptian.” says the southern woman.

“Yes! …But that’s- That’s- It’s science.” says Lacey.

“In a way it is. …But men see those photos!” she says.

“But…they aren’t thinking sexual thoughts when they read my blog.” says Lacey.

“Bobby we are not these people. Why did you do this to us?!?” yells Mary Richardson at Bobby.

“You mean you’re not Lacey and Lem?” says another southern woman.

“YES.” she says, awkwardly.

“Lacey I know you’re being serious sweetie. Why in the fuck would you think that they’re not thinking sexual thoughts?” says the southern woman.

“Because I am not a sexual person. I’m not a sexual person.

I discuss perfume, and this blog is about class warfare and horrible…horrific intellectual things, but it is sexual…but not in that way. It’s it’s more…scientific.” says Lacey.

“That’s not true! That’s not true!” says Jonah Wiley.

“That’s very hard for me to believe. But I suppose it’s possible.” says Lacey.

“No I know what she means! I do actually.

I can do it and so can she. You can kind of turn off a part of your brain and control yourself that way…and just focus on something intellectual and maybe things of a sexual nature are discussed, but you can sort of control yourself. I’m like that, she’s like that too.” says Lem. “However, I don’t think that’s entirely what’s happening on her blog, but that’s her not understanding how she’s coming across to people…and you guys have not been helpful in your generation almost at all! Now she’s having to talk to the dead…because you people are so heartless and stupid and pathetic!”

“Jonah why does your generation lie to her so much?? It really is totally heartless!” says Dr. Harles.

“She’s not rejecting you right now. She’s confronting you! If I or or his first wife Emily or even Cheryl or Olivia were to let someone say that to you we would be rejecting you but we’re different people! She’s confronting you.” says Mary to Jonah.

Casi’s grandma nods.

“That’s so feminine!” says a Millennial man.

“Is that offensive to you?” says Bill Gates.

“I don’t know that it is to me as much it is to some people but kind of it’s kind of like old-fashioned.” says Jonah.

“So what about like Karen Smith in your generation?” says a porn star.

“I mean yeah but they’re mean. Like they’re actually mean. She’s so nice and submissive and sweet and it’s sincere. Those girls are so clever and evil so that combination of someone as sweet and submissive? I mean…you find it in a more unattractive young woman in our generation, but combined with her extreme sexuality and beauty? No…it’s just kind of a weird combination. It’s like I don’t know? It’s just kind of freaky.” says Jonah.

(Adult content below)

“That’s probably evolution Jonah, so there could be someone out there like that now who is like 10 because Millennials had dramatically fewer children, and that probably affected things or even 5. But-but that’s not the same thing as-as the women your age being that way, and I wouldn’t even be surprised if that’s pretty rare, but I hear you and I-I have a feeling to be honest that her father really is Tom and that-that is probably just evolution. So it’s freaky to you but she’s alive, she’s 41 and I mean what is she supposed to do!? Like she is that! She is that freaky combination.” says Bill Gates.

“And you know to be honest I think that’s part of the reason why I got so confused because yes I can see looking at her family that it’s probably just genetic. They’re just Norwegian but then it’s like an elite genetic thing too possibly? …But then it’s like…there’s something about her where I felt like it was weird….and it is but it’s not like weird it’s just that her father was born in 1894…and he was a really rich powerful old man when he had her and that’s- I mean that’s unusual that he would have brought her into this world and she’s sort of a rarity in that way. I don’t think most men could conceive children in their late 80s but I wouldn’t say it’s impossible because it’s not and I think it’s interesting because we shouldn’t probably be quite that confused by it. …It’s just like old genes, that’s all…but it’s- It was just- It’s like really hard for us to process I guess or something.” says Casi.

“Okay? So that’s what you look like!” says the southern woman to Lacey.

“But…that’s just science!” says Lacey.

“Yes.” says the southern woman.

Lacey thinks. “You don’t think it is?”

“No. It is.” she says.

“The prospect of reincarnation is fascinating. Although unlikely.” says Lacey.

“Lacey. Lem is always hot.” she says.

“Yes!” says Lacey.

“But that’s- Okay???” she says.

“I am THAT!” says Lacey. “NO ONE WILL TAKE THAT FROM ME!!!”

“She got a boob job!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Mary?” says Lacey.

“YES.” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Did she get a boob job…or boob injections?” says Lacey. “Or is it padding!?”

“Could you create that look with padding?” asks Casi’s grandmother.

“NO! My boobs are far apart.” says Lacey. “But like Marilyn!”

“No! Those are!!” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Yeah! So…I can’t create that cleavage.” says Lacey.

“Those could be fake. But they look real. I think…she stuffed some.” says Casi’s grandmother.

“Oh! I’ve tried stuffing. But it’s…always gross looking.” says Lacey. “And it’s lying.”

“It cuts off. Weirdly. I bet she stuffed.” says Lacey.

“Yeah. Where!?” says Susanne.

“Right there! It’s a fake boob. The lines are off.” says Lacey.

“Lacey. Why do you look weird when you stuff your bra.” says the southern woman.

“My boobs look much too big!” says Lacey. “But…they look the size other women currently alive.”

“But on your body they look gross?” she says.

“Yes. So…

And it’s lying.” says Lacey.

“Yes! But lots of people lie about that!” says a Norwegian woman.

“Yes! But that doesn’t make it right.” says Lacey.

“True!” says Jonah.

“It looks too big!” says a man.

“Is that possible?” says Lacey.

He thinks. “YES! …You aren’t big so I can see why you’re confused. But…at the same time…it might look WEIRD.” he says.

“YES! Too much bigger and I look gross too. …So would Marilyn. …Our breasts were perkier.

Women today have rounder and more…’saggy’ boobs. Everyone! Our boobs just…were more slooped and perky.” says Diana.

“They were GORGEOUS. BE HONEST!” says God.

“So Lacey…in that dress…looks like what!?” says the man.

“I can’t take a good picture of both my face and my body. And this isn’t flattering. But there I am.” says Lacey.

“We ripped out the carpet.” says Lem.

“Yup. There’s a GLARING similarity.” says Diana Dors.

“You guys. …Try.

If Tom Banks is her birth father…and he was born in 1894…what if…given the possibility of micro evolution…and genetics…Lacey…and DIANA DORS are in…THE SAME GENETIC GENERATIONAL GROUP!” says a dead Nobel winning scientist.

That’s what’s happening now.

“That was then.

She has a better chest. The dress she’s wearing was made for the first group of women.” says the Nobel scientist.

“What’s her face look like?” says a hater, hoping they’ve found her lie.

“Slightly like this:

“What’s a better photo? This is obviously unedited!??” he says.

“Yes! Although Jack is trying to come through.” says an Illuminati psychic.

“THOSE ARE HER REAL CURVES!??” he suddenly says.

“YES! Those were common in the ‘hot chicks.’” says the CIA.

“Her eyes are messed up from some entity trying to come through. But the rest is pretty spot on.” says the CIA.

“No make-up.” says Russia.

“What does her nose look like?” says a hater.

“ so you have a nose kind of like your dad’s I wonder if it’s a bit like your mom’s to but your dad was also a man and so his nose was wider but I think I could easily see where your nose is a little bit like hits and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s her birth father I think maybe someone finally told you last night we know that, though there are some people reading this blog who just know that were the same people who think that, like some celebrities, have illegitimate children who may be really do, but no one takes it seriously because we look at the picture of the people and we think they do look like that person and then sometimes it’s false and you know that too but sometimes that the resemblance is just too fucking weird and in your case it’s too like it’s too creepy. Your ears are the same. Your nose is the same. Your hands are the same. Your eyes are the same. Your personality is the same your chin lines the same I’m pretty sure he’s your dad and there’s all these like people that are like in your life or were in your life before they died who were like historically important to him like Thelma, I really hope that you have her letter somewhere that she sent your father for Christmas. Especially when she asked to see you. I hope he didn’t throw those away because I guarantee you they existed and I hope he’s not so cruel as to have throwing them all away that being said he did work for the man he works for Don banks she has his, but she has Tom big sis pictures there’s no fucking way that you guys don’t have a retard gene in the Kennedy family because her father is an illegitimate real picture with Tom Banks at Tom Becca’s house and she shared it publicly. I really think you people are fucking retards because if I was if I was Bobby and I saw that picture and I heard this telepathically like two years ago I would’ve been scared shitless I would’ve thought I am not fucking doing almost anything for a while because it’s dangerous but he’s too dumb to know that he’s way too dumb to know that he’s like oh that’s not his daughter she’s just some weird peasant trying to get rich Bobby that doesn’t even make any sense. Delma probably spent every dime he had, he did there’s probably no more money and honestly I don’t think she’s the kind of person I mean it doesn’t even make sense that she’s going to go bothering her second cousins or first cousins once removed for Joe those people probably are a little wealthier than her, but not necessarily not necessarily they could be pretty similar and then she’s just going to hunt these people down looking for money that’s not likely Bobby that’s not likely at frankly I don’t. I don’t quite get it like you guys come on what is wrong with you? Thelma wrote them letters Thelma wrote them letters I said I think Bobby the problem is that she is probably your dream girl or the woman that you thought would be because she looks a hell of a lot like all of your wives and I think seeing her in person you’re aroused, but then you’re also like you her boobs are too big her waist is too small. Her hips are too wide. She’s stuffy, and she’s so like confident and like I don’t really know how to talk to her. I just kind of want to tell her all my problems and let her put me to sleep not sleep with her Bobby you I feel like weirdly psychically sweetie you are constantly crying and she is constantly being requested by you to be put down for a nap. I don’t know if you didn’t get rocked enough when you were first born because your parents were too busy or what happened but I suspect that you are constantly crying to her to be held given a bottle and put down for a nap all the time.

And you know what that’s that’s your problem, Bobby you know what just go take like go take a nap go take a shower have a have a glass of warm milk and then just go lay down but sweetie she can’t hold you anymore. You’re too big and honestly, I worry that she would even try but no I don’t think it works Bobby, I’m a little part of me thinks you wanna go. I thought I liked this lady I thought she was sexy but then you look at her and her like you her boobs are too big and her face is really pretty at her. Her hips are too fucking wide. I kinda just wanna suck my thumb and go to sleep.

Yeah, and then it’s like she probably has that maternal instinct with you and then you don’t believe her and you’re just like why is this woman so nice to me I don’t know that she can help it anymore than you can help the fact that you want to be put down for a night night. Yeah I said I was I almost wonder if part of the reason you come onto her is because you fall asleep fall asleep that way and so it’s like you’re like no I go for sex and she’s like nope and then she tries to sleep with Lem’s. You think you’re is your father and you’re like no no and Bobby that’s normal him but then what you want sweetie is to be put down for you know the night to get a bottle and go to sleep you’re not looking for sexual contact from her and she knows that which is why she keeps saying nobody know but then honey she can’t give you that bottle and put you down for the night.

No, I think you think oh she is pretty until you were probably about I don’t know seven or eight if she’d been there and then you would’ve thought I don’t know she has brown eyes and brown eyes are pretty but I can’t like blue eyes or like green eyes or something and then you would’ve found different brown eyes that you liked better than hers and you would’ve thought no she’s fine But she’s like Mrs. Billings and that’s just kind of weird and then I have a feeling I’m sorry to say it but I were you would’ve found a woman who would’ve made you a heck of a lot happier and it would’ve been weird. It would’ve just been normal you might’ve still cheated on her. It might’ve still been dysfunctional, but I don’t think it would’ve been quite this dysfunctional.

Because she’s Mrs. Billings OK Lemonstreet, do you like swimming and she is his wife.” says a reader.

“ what’s the what’s the jack to do?” says Bobby.

“ I don’t know I don’t know, but I don’t think it’s gonna work out with those people anymore. I don’t think it’s gonna work out.” says China.

“ and I want to go home!” says Bobby to China

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