“Class System Explained”

“I could have you killed.” Tom Banks says to a New Money billionaire.

“Really!!? I could have run the whole establishment BETTER THAN YOU AND AL CAPONE!” he says, sincerely. “I’m a BILLIONAIRE!”

“Are you a better ball player than Babe Ruth!?” says Lem.

“No. But- Well…that’s different.” he says, as if they’re slow and annoying.

“You seriously believe that!?” asks Vladimir Putin, laughing at him.

“Yes!!

And tell you what!!

I COULD RUN RUSSIA BETTER THAN YOU TOO!” says the New Money billionaire. “I could have stolen ALL YOUR MEN!” he says to Tom Banks.

Tom thinks. “No. …I’m checking. And no. That’s not possible. …I could have EASILY had you killed. …Your New Money is worthless compared to my Old Money millions.” says Tom Banks.

“Yup. That’s the traditional British class system. …We were a Christian nation.” says a British psychic in the Illuminati.

“DAMN! I AM…a BORN-AGAIN CHRISTIAN!” says the man worth $400,000,000.00 tops.

“Ahh…what about Lacey’s trillions in oil?” asks a liberal woman.

“Umm…so what!? She’s fucking Lem and he’s GAY! …Bobby, my own special friend…to be honest…KNOWS.” he says.

“So you aren’t a very good Christian?” asks an Illuminati psychic.

“NO! That ain’t so!” he says.

“How!?” says the psychic.

“Because I’m- I’m…from a poor family. Okay? And…I guess fancy men every once and a while. But…you just don’t understand.” he says, shrugging. “I’m just…growing in my walk still.”

“Did what she wrote on Facebook piss you off today?” asks the Pope.

“YES! She’s a hypocrite!” he says. “And a slutty poor white bitch!”

“No. She’s not.” says the Pope.

Putin laughs.

“Look. I’m a man! I’ve got NEEDS. …And Bobby isn’t someone I’d ever want a committed relationship with.” he says. “He’s OBNOXIOUS.”

“Why can’t your wife meet them?” asks Jonah Wiley.

“You’re a real bitch! Bringing her up! …Ahhh…she’s a whore!” he says.

“Why don’t you divorce her?” asks Obama.

“Because she’s got me! …We have three children together.” he says.

“So…how much would you owe her?” asks the CIA.

“Round…$60 million!!” he says, complaining.

“Oh! Say! That’s A LOT!” says a reader.

“It’s A LOT.” he says, laughing.

“But then you’re living in sin!” says the Episcopalian Churchc sincerely.

“I think God understands!” he says.

“So what’s your excuse?” asks a Satanist.

“I don’t have one. I am in the upper class? I’m worth $400 million.” he says.

“But what difference does that make to God? See…he created the entire world?” says a Satanist.

“Why are we talking about this? Are you just trying to fool Lacey, yeah?” he says.

“No you should have an excuse!” says a Satanist.

“My excuse is just that I don’t want to lose the $60 million.” he says.

“Do you think I’m your wife because our net worth is relatively similar?” says Tom Banks.

“So what if I do!?? It’s a complicated universe and geez a guy can’t figure it out somehow?” he says.

“So you grew-up poor and then you made millions in some way???” asks a reader.

“Yes, I mean I would’ve thought my family had some Old Money ancestry but I looked into it and I am about like Casi. It’s just a bunch of Piedmont farmers and poor German immigrants.” he says.

“Well I think we’re Piedmont farmers!” says Maria Seay. 

“That’s not true! That is not true!

What happened Maria was that your family was wealthy. They were well off actually since probably this it- It could’ve been been before but definitely since the 1300s… They were well-off, living pretty much in the southern portion of Great Britain. Cornwall. Devon. Kind of in that area. And they were well-off, very intelligent, respectable people.

Maria they came to Virginia. In the 1730’s. They bought land in Tennessee…and it was not a Puedmont farm Maria, it was a real plantation with a decent number of slaves. Piedmont farmers were poor! Your family was not poor Maria. Piedmont farmers had land, but it wasn’t like your family. The Seays were a well-off, well-respected, wealthy family for over 100 years Maria. …And they’re ashamed of you and your sister and your brother and your other sister. They’re completely embarrassed by you and your family.

They’ve been trying not to say that because they have respect for Lacey. They had respect for your mother. They respect the fact that Stephen has worked so hard and that really all of you are very hard workers thanks to your mother and her family. You’re all very steady people. But Maria the Seay family isn’t what it used to be OK?? And you have to understand you really are from an Old Money southern family that was prestigious. …It wasn’t like famous! They were wealthy Maria, but they were rural. They were in rural Tennessee. But they had a very prestigious old house, brick. It burned down during the Civil War, and your great great great grandfather was held hostage by the Union Army, because he was a leader in the Confederacy.

If I have any of this wrong I’m sorry. It might just be great great.

What happened my dear is that you had a good genes. You had a good solid upper class, noble genes. You had noble genes. You had noble British genes, Maria.

You come from a very respectable family, my dear. They wouldn’t have sexually abused their children. They wouldn’t have stolen things from people! …Which is why they respected Tonette and her well-bred, hard-working background. …But what happened Maria was after the Civil War…umm you’re not gonna like this sweetie…but after the Civil War, John Seay’s great grandfather, or his grandfather died, he either died sweetie or umm it’s complicated, but it involves death and destruction. …I’m not really at liberty to talk about it right now because we’re investigating something, but but Maria, you don’t understand OK? So the Seays were very prestigious but then there was death and destruction during the Civil War and unfortunately your father’s family went downhill, specifically in his family. Other Seays did not fare as well, and to be honest some actually fared better. But originally before the Civil War they were wealthy. And I would say most of you probably recovered in the last 50 to 100 years. Most of you have made it back into the upper middle class but it was rough going after the Civil War. It was total devastation of your family and you may have lost almost the entire plantation, both of them. Actually, both plantations were basically possibly burnt to a crisp! Umm…and you went from being wealthy sweetie to being poor as fuck! Absolutely poor as fuck, is what they told me. I’m Bette Davis telling you this, but no, they went from being wealthy, like actually wealthy, to being poor as dirt. Just poor as can be.

And it’s not quite what you want it to be Maria. I’m sorry. …Because they really were a very respectable family Maria, more respectable than you! They were as hoity-toity honey as the most hoity-toity people in the Nesheim family. Pat? Gwen? They ain’t got nothing on an on the Seays.

They were rural…and they look the part. Right? In their picture from the 1850’s? But you have to understand those pictures weren’t common. Most people did not have pictures of themselves necessarily in the 1850s, but the Seays had enough money and enough interest to go have their picture taken. And they were very frugal people. Very humble people! And they were Methodist! …Yeah, they were Methodist. …They were very decent Methodist people. Silas was actually pretty noble. …He was an Abolitionist.

He was caught between, you know, Hell and high water because he had to deal with your family and their insistence that slavery was practical and rational, and the only way to keep the country from going bankrupt. Essentially the Seays anticipated an America where we’d end up having child hostages being sold! I’m serious! The Seays anticipated stuff like that. They saw how the world was gonna end up and that America was going to end up the way that it is today…and you can be proud of that Maria because that’s still in you. They knew that things were going to look pretty bad in about 100 and 200 years if they got rid of slavery and let me tell you Maria slavery is very evil, but they knew that it was just going to get worse.

Part of how they knew that is because they were practical people, who were very business minded. They were incredibly intelligent, and they knew that. It was just the nature of having such a large country, having so many immigrants, having so much I want to say space…that if the Americans didn’t have some thing that was really reliable like slave labor to grow into vegetables, to grow vegetables to feed animals? To grow cotton? Yes I’m referring to the shipping problems that we have today. Yes I’m referring to the clothing industry in America. …They anticipated all of that because your family was brilliant and so they knew that if we got rid of black adult slaves that it was going to go totally downhill.

Now here’s the problem, sweetie. The North as far as I’m concerned was right! Slavery was wrong! Racism is evil! But the problem also is that it’s a fallen world. …And Lincoln really annoyed the shit out of your family! They may have had him assassinated.

Yes! Your family may have been a part of a plot in the south to have him assassinated! The Seays possibly had Abraham Lincoln assassinated. Because they thought he went about the Civil War entirely the wrong way. They thought he was sort of a cheapskate. They thought he was sloppy. They thought that he was criminal in how he handled the whole thing.

And they might’ve been right. But that is a different conversation. I’m not gonna get into that right now.

The thing is Maria they just had no way to tell him! And it was simply vile! But they wished he had taken the time to talk to them…and other people like them before he managed the Civil War business. Because there were other people in the south who had Abolitionists in the family like Silas. There were other Southerners who were decent people who had Abolitionists in their family. And they saw what the Seays saw, and a lot of them ended up possibly just as downtrodden as the Seays…because they were honorable. …They led the charge. They got killed! They got taken hostage! And that was part of what demoralized and destroyed the south. And it’s actually still a problem for this country today.

There are people running this country who understand this but they’re Old Money. They’re in Illuminati. They take Lacey seriously but they’re there like the DuPont family of Minnesota or the Two-Pots…or the Pillsberry‘s or the Daytons… They can hear her telepathically! …And they take her seriously because they’re genuine intellectuals and they know what she’s saying is probably true but they don’t have the billions anymore to put their foot down. They have the billions through her oil and they’ve been able to use that thank God. They um, they have…and if you take that from her it isn’t even gonna be recognized anymore as not being hers because it’s too shady Maria! No, it’s too evil! …When we first met her honey she was going to inherit oil rights from both of her parents and the Illuminati fucked her over so much.

I’m trying to convince to put some vermouth in some eggnog because I am pissed off…and I just want her to have some fun. I am Bette Davis.

So…the Old Money does have millions and combined with your Nesheim family has in oil they’re worth about oh you guys are probably worth about $800 million all of you combined and with your billions that’s trillions possibly even, that’s nothing to shake a stick at!

So! What happened to your family? Let’s say your great grandfather was a scoundrel. Oh yeah, oh I’m not exactly sure how OK? Yeah? …No it might not have even been your great grandfather might’ve been your great grandmother…but somehow that generation Maria went totally off the rails. I don’t know if someone died and your ancestor kept the Seay name of his dead father, like if his mother remarried when he was little? But whoever you married might’ve actually been a child molester, sweetie. Yes, I’m being honest with you. They’ve might’ve been a poor Arkansas jackass child molester. Sort of Alabama, Arkansas absolute piece of fucking shit! In some ways he was charming. He was handsome in his own way. But he was nuts and evil or your great grandmother was one of those two individuals so it was a she. No, not not the Carpenters. This predates them! And it happened right after the Civil War! They took up with someone! And I’m not sure if someone died or if-or if someone married badly. I’m not sure what happened, but the Seays went off the rails! And they went from being a nice family to being kind of just messed-up in their heads. At least in your in your family. And other families in the Seay family didn’t fare as well or fared better, but your family didn’t do so hot. OK? Yours married someone who was just absolute trash. Umm…Lacey doesn’t have those genes. Rand doesn’t have those genes. The child molesting ones. I don’t think Bryn likely does either. I don’t think Alys does. Alys can be kind of a jerk but hopefully she’s not a pedophile like Becca. And really I know some dirt about you, too. But…Lacey’s also not necessarily your niece genetically anyway. …Yes, sadly pedophilia could have a genetic component even if we have free will too. You have to pray people don’t get confused and choose evil AND some people have a sort of sexual mental illness you’ve IDIOTICALLY called pedophilia. Why idiotic? Because it’s only a matter of time before someone realizes it’s genetic and insanity and things…become so complicated people lose their minds.

The good news is that, as far as I can tell, it really did come into the Seay family after the Civil War. So it has been torment watching you and Becca and all of the Seays for the original Seay family. After the Civil War it became miserable to see what happened to all of you because some of you did even worse than John-John’s family. There’s some of you who went totally crazy! And some of you were just really sad. Really, really sad! …And it was sad to watch Becca and, I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to include you as well. …Terese treats Katie like shit. Katie, her only living daughter, should not be ostracized for not being a born-again Christian. I mean are they shunning her like a bunch of. freaks from some evil cult? I don’t understand why you people think it’s appropriate to treat people that way? Your father was a messed up nutcase…but he wasn’t all evil and that’s very-but that’s very bitter and very confusing to all of you in that family.

Lacey really might not be biologically your niece…which could be how this is all sort of being so publicly discussed. Because you keep responding to her, I think, in the back of your minds like she’s one of you. And in a way it’s silly because you should’ve realized that she wasn’t years ago. It’s obviously neglect and narcissism that’s kept people from realizing that in your family but no she’s not like you guys. She really is different. And she’s not gonna respond to you like you’re her superior or like she’s dumb! Right? And we’re a little worried about what you’re gonna come up with if you read this blog or if we’re talking to your spirit. Because Maria, all you have to do is just be nice to her. Why is that so hard for you to do?” says Bette Davis.

Later.

Larry Fink gets into a fight with Lacey over Bobby. Helena is kind and warns Lacey against serving Collard Greens at Christmas. And Lacey feels prompted to explain what happened with Matthew.

“We just locked eyes. That’s all. …When we were adults. But…since we were cousins we both let it go. …If she wasn’t my cousin I would have said something to her. …And actually we aren’t necessarily even cousins. But…I didn’t know that consciously. So…

I did love Kate. But we just had problems. Serious ones. And…when you’re suicidal…you start looking for…answers or hope. You know? And…” *he shrugs* He thinks. “I just thought I was a bad person. And…I felt-“

“I’m sure Lacey has told you off for leaving your kids behind.” says Bethany in her spirit.

“Yes.” he says. “She’s never do that.”

“Who told Lacey to wear black to your wedding!??” says someone.

“Gunhild.” says Matt. “If I’m Matt and there’s Purgatory she may have influenced her. …Don’t try to talk to me though! Or Gunhild. Just pray to God!”

“Goodnight!” says Lem.

The next day:

“So! The class system isn’t just about money. It’s about birth privileges. …And essentially it’s just about WHAT you know.

See…Erin and Chris totally messed that part up. …They were never more sophisticated than Lacey. Ever. …By virtue of birth they simply can’t be. You can’t make up for lack of privilege in your childhood by being a sophisticated adult. …You can become a sophisticated adult. And possibly smarter or better looking or kinder or etc.. But…you can’t make up for birth privilege.

And Lacey is sophisticated. Smart. Kind. Etc..

Even Mr. Fink in his vast wealth can’t compensate for lack of pedigree.

It’s just…that…simple.” explains Lem.

Later.

“Chris is an arrogant asshole Lacey. You know that now. But…I don’t think you did before. …He’s an arrogant jerk. …I think you thought he was a humble guy who was bashful about his success. Like Micheal Rockefeller. If he was a television journalist by choice.” says an Illuminati psychic.

“I wonder if I subconsciously gave you the wrong idea?” says Jenna Bush to Lacey.

“Yes. You did.” says Lem.

“No! She’s not a gold-digger.” says Micheal Rockefeller. “She’s…just…not.”

“So do you even understand why Chris was so cocky?” asks MSNBC.

“NO!!” says Lem.

“No.” says Lacey. “He seems…weird, from that perspective.”

“He does to me too.” says Matt Nesheim.

“I’m worth more than him.” says Joni, Matt’s first cousin.

“I wouldn’t be shocked if Tessa is.” says Lacey.

“She could be.” says Joni.

“So…he’s famous.” says Jonah Wiley.

“Eww. …I mean it’s cool. I have some fame. But…I’m not sure I’d want that much more.” says Joni.

“Yeah. …Yikes!” says Lacey.

Later.

“Who does impress you all?” asks the CIA.

“Tom Brokaw, Piers Morgan, Jane Goodall…Vladimir Putin in a way. …I guess Donald Trump in a way…some of our ancestors and relatives. Sincerely. We’re proud of our innate skiing abilities. …And other gifts. …FDR. …Teddy Roosevelt. …George Washington. …I suppose the British Royals. The Norwegian Royals. …There are others but that’s the majority.” says Nils Nesheim.

“The wealth in our family is nice! But it also can be extremely depressing.” says Matt Nesheim to Casi specifically for some reason.

“Why?” says Mr. Cologne 76’s wife.

Matt looks at her, shrugs. Thinks. “It’s so damned.”

“HOW!?” says Mr. Cologne 76.

“Lacey are you good at skiing?” asks Matt’s father.

“Yes.” she says.

“SHOOT.” says Paula.

“I mean…I’m not going down big hills. But I can do some of that. And I love Cross Country Skiing.” says Lacey.

Joni laughs.

“I married a Swedish businessman.” says Margy. “In the 1980’s. If I came to see Lacey…I brought him with me. …I loved skiing.”

“I wasn’t a bad skier either.” says Tom Banks.

“Anyway…Lacey would never think Chris was…super important or impressive on his own.” says Lem.

“No. He’s…accomplished…but not…imposing.” says Bette Davis.

“She’s been saying this for years.” says the CIA to a group of New Money billionaires who are just now starting to understand.

“My parents owned a beach, Casi.” says Matt. “THEY…OWNED…A BEACH.”

Casi laughs. Thinks. “How much?”

He laughs. Thinks. “Significant. …We held my sister’s wedding in their backyard. …With lots of room to spare. …It’s about…a block. A little more than a city block.

It’s just in North Dakota. But…it was a lot.” says Matt. “But that’s where it gets depressing. …Because my marriage was bad. At least eventually. And…it was…just…sad.”

“I get it.” says another perfume collector.

Matt nods. “Like, ‘What’s it all for!?’ …I…didn’t gravitate to F. Scott Fitzgerald because I’m a man. Lacey did because she’s a woman. I…felt…very small.”

“Why?” says Casi.

“Because what good was I to anyone!?” says Matt.

“Casi…SCOTLAND WINS.” says Queen Mary.

“Yikes.” says Queen Victoria.

“Water sport?” says Mr. Cologne 76.

Matt scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Ahh…for a while? But…no normal adult can live just for sports. It’s psychologically impossible.”

Mr. Cologne 76 looks sad.

“How do you not understand that!??” says Lem to the perfume community.

One of them laughs.

“Lacey would have been…happy…and yet also fascinated by fashion had she been raised by me. As her aunt. But that’s not what’s happening now. Still…she’s not a narcissist. …She just…was filling her hours.” says the original owner of Schick’s of Long Beach.