“Now That You’re Gone” as performed by Gene Austin and the Hit of the Week Orchestra plays.
“I love this song.” says Lacey.
“Now won’t you listen, dearie
While I say
How can you tell me
That you’re going away?
Don’t say that we must part
Don’t break my aching heart
You know I’ve loved you truly
Many years
Loved you night and day
How can you leave me?
Can you see my tears?
Listen while I say:
After you’ve gone
And left me crying
After you’ve gone
There’s no denying
You’ll feel blue
You’ll feel sad
You’ll missed the best fella you’ve ever had
Therе’ll come a time
Now don’t forget it
Thеre’ll come a time
When you’ll regret it
Someday when you grow lonely
Your heart will break like mine and you won’t be only
After you’ve gone
After you’ve gone away
(Instrumental break)
There’ll come a time
Now don’t forget it
There’ll come a time
When you’ll regret it
Someday when you grow lonely
Your heart will break like mine and you won’t be only
After you’ve gone
After you’ve gone away”
“Lacey there’s no reincarnation. We’re going to with that. Alright? There isn’t any.” says Lem Billings to Lacey.
She thinks.
“Thanks.” says Sir Winston Churchill to Lacey. “You understood my hatred for the Indians. …Well…I wouldn’t call it hatred. …You do understand. …It was…despair. …I had despair. …I felt that…certain people…were damned. …And in my estimation the Indians were a genuinely damned people.
Not…inherently evil. But…vicious, barbaric and…lowly. …IT WAS A COMMON THING. You know? You do. …And…I actually had an almost innocent heart intent. I was almost entirely innocent!”
“I know!” says Lacey, very sadly.
He laughs. Cries. “I’m sorry!”
“The British government was evil…but not as evil hearted as people would like to believe today.” says Lacey. “Racism…without the heart of an evil racist…is just…misunderstanding.”
“She’s right!” says Ghandi.
“I’m not saying that the Indians didn’t suffer. THEY DID.
But…I look around…and see kids being enslaved and molested so a supposedly free society…can support itself. America! …And I…find the atrocities of the British…romantic. WHY? Because they didn’t know any better! AND WE DO. …Running the world is…AWFUL. …It’s a damned business. It’s a hideously fallen world. And…they TRIED. …Sure…it was icy cold water…like drowning on the Titanic. But…it was…the Titanic.
*She thinks.*
I think dark-skinned people can’t face that. …And it’s all too easy to feel…slighted. To take their barbarism personally. I get it! …But…I honestly doubt they were as evil as we think.
The EARTH IS OLD. …And Africa was once extremely wealthy. Probably for a long time. The dominant part. …But time moves on. And people don’t recall.
If there is reincarnation…God can’t be fooled.
If there isn’t…then it’s sad in a way. Because…I loved the thought that my sad life was attributable to some…darkness connected to the tragedy of the British soul.” says Lacey.
How Am I To Know by Gene Austin plays.
“Good music!” says Louis Hill Junior.
“Did you like Gene Austin?” says Lacey.
“YES!” says Louis, in a melancholy mood.
The song starts over. Brian Thompson stands outside of his house. In the brutal cold. It’s extremely cold in Minnesota. He watches his family. Crying. And they can’t see him. Of course. His hands shoved in his pockets. He sighs.
1:25
It’s Christmas. What an awful time to die. Especially with young kids.
2:11
He weeps bitterly. Has to be comforted by angels.
The song ends.
When Your Lover Has Gone by Gene Austin plays.
“So true. Who cares for moonlight?!?” says Lacey, weeping on her spirit over Lem. Whether there’s reincarnation or not.
“Lacey! You’re alive and he’s dead.” says Elliott, mocking evil. “Why are you crying?”
1:43
“Be sure there’s no reincarnation.” he says to her, gravely.
2:20
“I’m living in Hell.” says Lacey, thoughtfully.
“Yes. Not actual Hell. But…damn if it’s not Hellish.” says Elliott.
When I’m With You by Gene Austin plays.
Elliott stands with Lacey. She’s tempted to fall into his safety. He always makes her feel safe.
“I understand you.” says Elliott Roosevelt, sadly to Lacey. “Not as well as Lem. But…damn too well.”
Lacey looks sad.
“I did try writing too. …And it was…crap.” he says, laughing. “But…I did like it.”
“Do I think like a writer?” says Lacey.
“YES.” says Louis Hill Junior to Lacey.
“You do.” says Harold Loeb. “Lacey…I’m available. Until you die.”
“What happens when she dies?” says Elliott, laughing.
“I’ll be waiting!” says Harold. “Unless God calls me off the case. I’m stalking you. …Just a little.”
“SO AM I.” says Louis Hill Junior, smiling.
“Are you eating chocolate mints?” says Lacey.
He smiles and nods. Winks. And at that Lacey thinks of spiking her egg-nog.
“I shouldn’t.” says Lacey.
“You like the taste of it! SO DO I. It’s genetic.” he says shrugging. “In Heaven you can drink all you want…without getting drunk. …Some people just like…the bitterness.”
“The bitterness?” says Lacey.
“I’m BITTER.” he says. “I’m a bitter drink.”
“You are.” says Lacey.
“And I’m Paris. In the 20’s.” says Harold.
“A front row seat. Quiet. Tasteful. But still loads of fun!” says F. Scott Fitzgerald to Lacey as she sits in her old chair in St. Paul. Mostly. But not entirely.
“We’re REAL.” says Louis.
“But I can’t forget England.” says Lacey.
“I know.” says Lem.
“Even if it’s just your heritage? And you play golf with your Lem. Your husband. And Elizabeth?” says Sir Winston Churchill.
“Yes.” says Lacey.
He smiles. “I’m sorry we failed you. One way or another. As they say. …But no, I wasn’t scum. I loved Clementine. Proudly.” says Sir Winston Churchill.
Under The Moon by Annette Hanshaw plays.
“Why didn’t you think Jews were inferior?” asks Jess Seay of Sir Winston Churchill.
“They weren’t Indians. …I didn’t think they were equal to me. …But…being honest…I genuinely was deeply offended by Hinduism. Judaism wasn’t as offensive. It just wasn’t! …I wasn’t as offended by Muslims either. I…would have easily called them heathens. The whole lot. …But…I found Hinduism genuinely offensive.
See…you have to realize: This part of history is being repressed at the moment. Our actual perspective. You all are such a self-righteous lot today! SO UPPITY! So over-confident in your sense of moral superiority.
I think…you can’t handle the ugliness of reality. It’s messy. It’s complicated. And it’s not something you can boil down into simple calculations. And…
Midnight, the Stars and You by Al Bowlly & Ray Noble plays. At the request of Brian Thompson. He loved The Shining too.
We were HIDEOUS. But…I was a fairly moral man. I tried to do the right thing. Almost always. …I persevered. I wept. I was eager to get to Heaven. …But…you’ll see too…we all need Jesus. No one gets everything right. Even if you try.
But you see…the point is to try. The point is to try to always do the right thing. Because it matters.” says Sir Winston Churchill.
2:23
“I wish I wasn’t dead!” says Brian Thompson.
“I killed you for a reason!” says Luigi in the future to Brian Thompson.
The song starts over.
Brian glares at him. They stand staring at each other for a few moments. Cold. Thoughtful.
“Look…I’m sorry. I cared…but…in all honesty…I was callous.” says Brian Thompson,
1:15
Luigi smirks. “I know.” he says.
“See! This is why if there’s an Illuminati…you weren’t supposed to be talking to Lacey Banks!” Elliott Roosevelt to MSNBC.
“SHIT!” says Luigi in the future.
“Are you sincere? Or just crazy?” says Lacey to Luigi.
The song ends.
“Sincere.” he says.
The Man I Love by Billie Holiday plays.
“Would you kill for Lem? No. But…you understand. I know you do.” says Luigi, smirking. He lights a cigarette.
“I hate what they’ve done to my love for music.” says Lacey.
“The Kennedys?” says Luigi.
1:50
“Yes.” says Elliott. “WE ARE REAL!”
Luigi laughs. “I pick up a smoking addiction if I go to prison.”
“So!?” says Lacey.
The song ends.
“Damn! This is real!” says Luigi. “We’ve never met. But we’re psychically aware. Through our parents.”
“Do we have a choice?” says Lacey.
He laughs. Shakes his head no.
“You’re psychically connected to lots of people!” he says.
“So?” says Lacey.
He thinks. “No! I was sincere!”
“Why him!?” says Lacey.
I Can’t Give You Anything But Love as performed by Cliff Edwards plays.
“He’s…lucky.” says Luigi. “Too lucky. …He just didn’t deserve it. Simple as that!”
2:07
“So you’re insinuating that luck isn’t safe?” If you’re scum?” says Nancy Pelosi if there’s an Illuminati.
“Yeah. …He’s scum!” says Luigi. “As I saw it.”
“Real scum.” says Lacey.
Luigi nods. “You get it. But you’d never do it. And I understand.” he says to Lacey. He cries over her life. Shrugs. Thinks. Wipes his eyes. Shoves his hands in his pockets.
We Just Couldn’t Say Goodbye by Annette Hanshaw plays.
“Did you regret it?” asks Lacey.
He looks very thoughtful. “A little.” He thinks. “But then I read people’s reactions on social media and I feel…scared. Why? Because…I did it to be…a part of something.
The Very Thought of You by Al Bowlly plays.
And…I created a movement.” he says.
“A violent one.” says Lacey Banks.
“A smart violent one.” he says. “It’s not about killing kids. Or killing Jews. It’s about…getting to the heart of real evil. You know?”
“She wrote about feeling like shooting us!” says JP Kennedy.
Luigi takes a drag of his cigarette.
2:45
Luigi leans against a wall. Looking menacing.
He takes another drag.
The song ends.
This Is Romance by Al Bowlly & Ray Noble plays.
“She had just cause!” he says. “Lem was straight.”
JP rolls his eyes. “SO WHAT!?”
“SO PLENTY!” says Luigi. He throws his cigarette butt on the ground.
“Indeed! Indeed.” says Brian Thompson. “Lacey…look up my home address.”
“Paulette looks familiar.” says Lacey, sincerely.
“You do live near enough. …Where do you think you saw her?” he says.
“Whole Foods?” says Lacey. “She has a memorable face.”
He looks shocked.
Luigi smirks. “If the Illuminati is real…they thoroughly fucked-up talking to you.” he says to Lacey.
Paulette nods. “Dammit!” she says.
“See…I can’t tell.” says Lacey.
Luigi nods. “I KNOW! Relax! God knows. Lem knows too!”
Nancy Pelosi looks worried, if there’s an Illuminati.
Luigi smokes.
Remember Me by Al Bowlly & The Ray Noble Orchestra plays.
“Look! I had reasons. You don’t want to commit to it. I understand. It’s not your method.” says Luigi to Lacey. He smokes.
“My hands are more than tied.” says Lacey.
His mouth falls open.
He smiles.
“I chose the song. Look…he’s clean. Lem is.” says Luigi. “In case you’re curious. Well, as clean as you are interested in.”
“I’m sorry you felt the need to be violent.” says Lacey.
“People care!!!” says Luigi. He smiles. Looks off smiling. “I’m relieved.”
The song ends.
“Where is it all going?” asks Lacey.
“That’s what I wonder too!” shouts F. Scott Fitzgerald.
My Blackbirds Are Bluebirds Now by Annette Hanshaw plays.
“Look! I get being rich!” Luigi yells at Brian. “My family isn’t innocent!” He takes a drag of his cigarette. “I’m just taking offense at your total lack of regard for the most important…and vulnerable. See…you can’t shit where you sleep! And…so…I found no reason…to give a damn. About killing you! See?!? …You can’t…shit…where you sleep.”
Brian thinks. Gets it. Looks miserable.
“LEM!? Why did you have to be SO DAMN CONVINCING!??” yells a NFL player.
“You think her mood is a bad one?” jokes Jim Carrey. “You think she’s missing him? …And we’re making it worse by insisting he was gay!? Wow! Gee. I NEVER said that. THREE YEARS AGO! Or two? Whatever. …I AM SOOO OVER IT!!” he says laughing, in irritation.
“Did she manifest you?” asks an NFL player of Luigi.
Luigi thinks. “No! Yes? …You manifested my accident!!”
The NFL player looks forlorn.
“Yeah! So totally possible!” says a reader.
My Sunny Monterey by Al Bowlly plays.
Harold Loeb cracks-up laughing.
“You MANIFESTED MY MISERY!!!” Luigi yells at the Illuminati.
“How!??” says Nancy Pelosi.
“THE MAFIA, NANCY!!!” yells Luigi, like she’s very hard of hearing.
She looks confused. Blinks. Mouth open. “But you’re not in the mafia. Neither is she.”
“NO. YOU’RE RIGHT!!” he yells. “But…our families are connected. I’m sort of generational wealth too. Like she is. ….And she’s smart. SO AM I. And…daring. …And…I just…both psychically feel her anguish and you cursed me. YOU CURSED ME PERSONALLY! …When you cursed her. You cursed me. Years ago. …So! Look! Hey it’s okay!? Right!? …If there’s no Illuminati…it’s cool. …I’m just…a wild maverick. A rogue element. But…if there’s an Illuminati…I’m MAD AT YOU. YOU MAD ME ANGRY.” says Luigi at the Illuminati.
You’re The Top by Cole Porter plays.
“I’m the top.” says Ghandi, as a joke.
“Anyway. Lem told us to tell you what we did. Even if it’s the truth.” says Louis to Lacey.
The song plays.
“It’s as simple as that!” says Luigi to the Illuminati. “It’s in the lyrics. RIGHT?”
The song replays.
“Now! Tell me I’m schizophrenic. As a ghost…in the future.” says Luigi to the Illuminati, if it exists.
The song plays.
“We can’t undo it.” says Diego to Chris. “It’s real. She’s talking to actual ghosts. …And if-
And if…you can’t understand the risks…I don’t know what to say.”
“I started talking to her…because her life had gone REALLY BAD.” says F. Scott Fitzgerald. “AND NOW WHAT!?”
“We’ll all die. I guess.” says Nancy Pelosi.
“Maybe.” says Putin, smiling. He laughs.
“Why don’t they find the new missiles intimidating?” says Lacey to Putin.
“I KNOW!” says Luigi.
Can’t Help Lovin’ Dat Man by Billie Holiday plays.
Lem looks sad. Thinks.
“Luigi. Where are you going?” he says.
Luigi thinks. Takes a drag of his cigarette. Blows smoke very elegantly. Like in a 1940’s film noir. Looks dour and troubled. Still leaning. “Well! …The Kennedys threw your wife down the stairs! Of her own home.”
“YUP! This is real!” says Chris Hayes.
Button up Your Overcoat by Ruth Etting plays.
“She’s a THIRD RAIL!!” Luigi yells at the Illuminati. “SHE TOLD YOU THAT!!! YEARS AGO!!!”
The song plays. It’s eerie.
I Don’t Want To Set The World On Fire by The Ink Spots plays.
Luigi stares at the Illuminati.
“Look. I started something.
And this is your warning.” he says. “This is YOUR WARNING.”
1:35
“IT ISN’T FUNNY.” says Luigi. “You were MISTAKEN!!!” he yells. “Her explanation of everything is…ACCURATE.”
The song ends.
Theme From New York, New York as performed by Frank Sinatra plays.
“Look…she’s LACEY BANKS.” explains Frank Sinatra. “REGARDLESS!” he says. He smiles. “And…you can’t mess with that. Not safely.”
“But the Kennedys did!!!” says Luigi. “They did! …And that gave you false confidence. Frank doesn’t like it! But…he’s had to befriend Lem. As Lacey’s husband. And accept Lem as a heterosexual. …And actually that isn’t so bad! …He likes Lem as a heterosexual. …He likes him more. He says he understands him more as a man. And I think he means it.
Once Lacey and him were having a fight…and Frank told her to give Lem another chance. And not give up on Lem. He said Lem deserved it. And…he was right.
Lacey’s not JFK. Okay? That’s…pure evil. To insist on that! She’s never been a man. She’s just a woman. And her and Lem really are together for eternity. You can’t change that!
…Jack got angry. Resentful. Jack Kennedy. He hates us! He hates all of us! …And…you were listening to him…looking for guidance…when you attacked Lacey. All those years ago. You trusted Jack Kennedy to be a higher power. …He’s a hero to people. I’ve been compared to him often online. People really think he was good. Despite everything. They don’t want to believe the truth. That he was an absolute scoundrel.
…I’m not mad you…for loving him. But…he’s at war with me. And my family. And her family. For entirely IDIOTIC reasons. They’re understandable reasons. But they’re also idiotic. …Because of Lem! Because Lem was straight. …And he’s totally unreasonable! …Okay? You can’t reason with him! …But you all regard him as safety. Not FDR. Not…my family or her family…or Ancient Africa, even. No! You trust JFK. Or you have.
And now you’re in a WAR WITH RUSSIA! …Lacey’s neck is damaged. And she’s been fighting for her life. And I’m in pain. And so…I SHOT SOMEONE. I SHOT SOMEONE IMPORTANT TO YOU. …YEAH! Important TO YOU! …You don’t think I know!? …I FIGURED IT OUT!!! …I figured out how you bastards think! You see your evil…as excusable. But just your evil. …And so…his evil…is covered. You think people like him…matter. And they do! Don’t get me wrong! …But so DO I!!! …SO DO A LOT OF PEOPLE!! …People who you don’t KNOW.
She’s not illegitimate. She’s his lost child. And I’m a WARNING.
Matthew died. I took that personally.
Matthew…really wasn’t an idiot. Matthew was a very smart man. An eye for an eye. …One man like that…for another man like that. Right? It’s a trade. And now they’re both dead. You take Matt. I take Brian. Within a year.
I understand Trump is going to calm things down. Fine! But…the goose is cooked.” says Luigi.
“So who does JFK have us at war with?” asks Nancy Pelosi.
Luigi smiles. Laughs. “Good question!” He thinks. “Well…Harvey Weinstein. Because Hollywood. The British Royal Family. Although they’re as baffled as can be. And innocent in the matter. As we all are. Italy. Just…Italy as a nation. …Meek people with good intentions everywhere? Ahhh…most straight men to ever exist. But…mainly Italy. Russia. Germany. The British. The British Royal Family. Old Hollywood. The Hill family. Well…most Hill family members to ever exist. *cough cough* Saoirse. …Ahh…actually several Irish clans. Not just who are loyal to the British Crown. …Most of the Middle East.
Umm…but let’s see. People who are close to her. In some authentic way. So Matt. He wanted to be close to her. Ahh…Putin. Me. People like me. Catch my drift?” says Luigi.
“I do!” says Amy Schumer.
“So he’s crazy?” says Nancy Pelosi to Luigi.
“Jack? Well…-“ says Luigi.
Woody Allen cracks-up laughing. He never figured Jack Kennedy’s poltergeist…to have so seriously affected his last years as an artist.
Elliott Roosevelt chuckles.
“He’s…insane. But he’s also very evil. …He’s dead. And you’ll see. It’s hard to reject truth on the other side. …Some people do it. And he’s one of them. But it’s not common. …God knows how to handle him…but God does not obliterate our free will. And…Catholics can tell you that. What would the point of Purgatory be if you had no free will?” says Luigi.
“So! JFK is failing Purgatory!” says Nancy Pelosi.
“He has. Yes. Basically.” says Luigi.
“It’s so simple! And yet it’s not.
We created a poltergeist…when we killed JFK. However that happened. And we, as Americans, failed to understand the interconnected nature of our own country’s elite. Other countries are miles ahead of us in that way. …But in the US we don’t get it. So…we assumed…that we were all islands, or something. Right? But we are not! …And we thought killing Jack…would just…work, I guess. As long as nobody ever figured out what really happened. …But…Lacey’s FATHER…is Tom Banks. And yet…WE CANNOT OPENLY SAY THAT. …SO…we have to think she’s just one of those Nesheims. …And…that’s where it gets really ugly! Because…Maria, her aunt, was there the night of Chappaquidick. And Lacey told us that. But…most of us mocked her. Thinking she was just being a pretentious fool. And we’ve made the oil stupid. And made the Norwegians look cheap…in our own estimation…not in reality. Because they’re SO WHITE. AND SO…NORWEGIAN.
But…we’re in close quarters. So…Lacey Banks…is her real identity. …And sure, we’re wrong about social class in regard to the Nesheims. But…also Luigi. And…he’s right. Lots of people! …Turns out…we’ve been pissing them off for years. Morally. Environmentally. …Aesthetically. THEY DON’T LIKE US!
Well…maybe they like me. I’m Woody Allen. But…they don’t like a lot of people who run things. So to speak. Or sort of run things. And that’s just the thing, …We are not…as omnipotent…as we feel. Or all-knowing. Or even intelligent.
Luigi was attacked because they’re genuinely psychically connected to her. And she and Lem really are eternally one. She’s his rib. …So…see…it’s SO mind-blowingly interconnected. …But I trace it back to Jack Kennedy. YES! Jack Kennedy.
You know what manifested Luigi? Their family’s pretentious love for the poor. The Kennedys, I mean. And the actual compassion for the poor and sense of honor that the old people had who ran things. And our desire to keep believing our own lies. …Lem was straight. Jack was not. …We have their roles reversed. Partially because we’re too narcissistic to interpret them. …Lem is ALWAYS just humoring Jack. He’s never in love. It’s just a joke to him. Jack is his old lady. His ball and chain. He’s…patronizing JFK. …But we NEVER see it. Because it’s unthinkable to us! How could anyone patronize J…F…K!?!! No way! He’s JFK! …Lem is the one who’s disturbed! …Lem is the troublemaker! Lem…is…the fool. The follower. The liar. The…loser! …The one who pushes Jack Kennedy, the straightest man to ever live…(in our estimation) to try homosexuality. …And so Jack does…just to be nice!!!! JUST TO BE NICE! Kid because he’s actually gay! NO WAY!! …Just to be nice…and adventurous I guess? But I think we mostly just thought Jack was being a sweetheart to poor Lemmers who desperately wanted him. DESPERATELY wanted him. Wow we’ve made Lem out to be DESPERATE for Jack! …But…there’s not actually any real evidence to suggest he actually was. We can’t even prove Lem was gay without stretching the boundaries of good journalism and historiography beyond any point of integrity or value. …Jack was the truly obsessed one. Because Jack was a malignant narcissist and a user. He used people. He used drugs with two small children and the safety of the world in his care. …Lem’s family have been misunderstood. And…we’ve taken Lem’s ‘trauma response’ and made it his deepest sense of self. He fawned! He fawned over Jack! But Jack was the abusive, manipulating monster pulling Lem’s strings like his puppet. And poor Lem barely stood a chance!
Lacey is his twin flame, I’ll call it. Lem’s twin flame. So…yes. Luigi is right. She’s a third rail. Because not only was she connected to massive amounts of oil…she was connected to the Norwegian Royal Family…the British Royal Family…Germany…The Netherlands…the Founding Fathers…all of the underground…French aristocracy…Prussia…Russia…Greece…and the Kennedys. …They had us thinking she was using them to look…posh. …NO! …They’re all somehow just mad at her. …Because they refuse to accept the reality of what actually happened with Jack and Lem and she’s a harsh reminder of what they hate. About themselves. About each other. And about what went wrong. …They’ve always been WEIRD to her. And I’ve noticed it for years. They’re WAY too familiar. It’s CREEPY. …How do they KNOW HER!? Haven’t you ever seen it!? It’s BIZARRE! …But it’s spiritual. And if there’s an Illuminati…they did it to themselves.” says Woody Allen. “You lose your sense of things when you rely on Satan as your guide.” says Woody Allen.
As an example:
Lacey walks in to an Illuminati meeting in 2018. Kerry Kennedy glares at her. For no reason.
“So that’s Karrie.” says Kerry.
Bobby nods. Smirks. Rolls his eyes.
“She’s pretty.” says Joe.
Bobby smirks again. “If you like blondes!”
“Cheryl is blonde!” says Joe.
Bobby feels dumb but laughs to cover it.
“Bobby…you should ask her out! She’s probably obsessed with you.” says Rory.
He laughs. “Yeah. That’s the sense I got too.” he says, sincerely.
“Man! She’d be a good lay! But…I didn’t say that!!!” says his brother laughing.
Bobby nods. “Common. But…doable.”
Kerry nods.
They all smugly glare at Lacey with prissy, snobby cold faces. Not caring how awkward they seem or how uncomfortable they make her feel.
Bobby later hits on her and is politely rejected. He then continues to assert that she’s crazy about him and lying about it until making a fool of himself with the Trump family recently.
“When were they ever charming to her?” asks Woody Allen. “They just assumed she was…insanely obsessed with them.”
“Because she thought she could be David’s illegitimate daughter.” says the CIA.
“True! But David’s ghost also talked to her. …And she had it all mixed-up in her head. …And they’ve NEVER dealt with that!” says Woody Allen. “They preferred to think she was crazy.”
“Why didn’t they just ignore her?” says a reader.
“MY POINT EXACTLY!” says Woody Allen.
“Because she’s REAL!” says Cheryl. “She’s TOO REAL.”
“That’s true. And very insightful!” says the CIA.
“I borrowed it from Lacey. I heard her say it.
Look…I think that’s part of it.” she says. “She’s always seemed too…real. And it’s CREEPY. So they just go into…survival mode. And…act…like children…around her. All of them.”
“How many of them have used her advice? Like…actually used it?” asks the CIA.
Cheryl laughs. “A lot of us. I’m included.”
“Has Bobby both…looked to her as a mother and/or aunt…and tried to sleep with her?” asks the CIA.
“Yes. He’s always been rebuffed.” says Cheryl.
“Has that been hard for him?” asks the CIA.
“Yes.” says Cheryl.
“He’s…not okay. But…he’s trying.” says his friend.
“How have you all never realized that Lem was essentially poisoning you all?!?” says a reader.
“Because we assumed Jack was straight!” says Rory.
“But he was giving heroin to a teenager!” says a reader.
They shrug. “Irresponsible? Abusive? Sexually inappropriate? …But we never thought it through…enough…to realize…he was actually just giving heroin…to…a teenager.” says a Kennedy. They shrug.
“He was poisoning him!” says a reader.
“Yup.” says a Kennedy.
“I mean it! I think Bobby has repressed That realization and that’s why he’s gone crazy over all medical stuff. …He’s insightful…but he’s also crazy. …And…I think that’s why. …He’s in denial about Lem. …So he’s just trying to find who it was that…got ‘em. You know? His…bully. …And he could just look at Lem! But…then he’d have to get over his childhood crush? Or…realize that some men are just…straight and he’s not. …Or…what? That his father and his uncles are weird? …And that Jack was what? A faggot???” she says. She shrugs. “I see a lot of repressed rage in Bobby. And frankly…I wish we knew better whether or not there was reincarnation for sure. Because if there is…Lem IS A BRITISH ARISTOCRAT. AND BOBBY IS IRISH!! …He has great reason to feel…targeted. …But…*she shrugs* I guess he’s too busy living in denial!”
Later.
“Is Luigi distracting us from impending nuclear war?” asks Lacey. “Are you actually sacrificing CEO’s now? Instead of my family?”
Brian Thompson laughs. “I hope they can keep it all straight. …And I’m being serious! If there’s an Illuminati they take notes…and keep them private…but…they’re not necessarily sorting through their notes.”
“Yeah. …I’m getting confused.” says Lacey.
“I’m not confused.” says Lem. “Let’s go to bed.”
Keen to Cross the Pond 